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How can we welcome the spirit of pilgrimage into our lives? Why should we trust the "gift" of not knowing? In this episode of the Pacific Zen Podcast, Roshi John Tarrants speaks to the perennial problem of being lost as a known passageway to delighting in the inherent chaos of life. Predicaments are merely signs that things are about to evolve. "Maybe the feeling of being lost is itself an addition to not knowing. Maybe not knowing is even freer." - John Tarrant. What You'll Learn: How to delight in the chaos of life Why do we crave problems How to accept uncertainty What is meditation Why not knowing is great — Links Mentioned: Learn more about this episode Learn more about koans Learn more about Zen John Tarrant's books: Bring Me the Rhinoceros The Story of the Buddha

What happens as Autumn approaches and the light begins to fade? In this episode, Roshi John Tarrant speaks to the seasonal descent we make with each great turning and the opportunity it provides for returning to the source, the eternal. Speaking on a number of koans that fall into the category of Mysterious Tasks & Impossible Problems, Tarrant guides listeners through stories of great mythic figures and illuminates the path we must each take up to be closer to the ancestors. "You start to see that it's kind of alright to be at the bottom of the sea." - John Tarrant. What You'll Learn: What are koans about How to accept your life What does the stone in the koan represent How to trust uncertainty What is the value of mysterious tasks How to feel the ancestors What happens to problems at the bottom of the sea — Links Mentioned: Learn more about this episode Learn more about koans Learn more about Zen John Tarrant's books: Bring Me the Rhinoceros The Story of the Buddha

In this episode, Roshi Allison Atwill tells an old story in which a man dreams that he is a butterfly. Upon waking, he begins to wonder if he is, in fact, a butterfly dreaming of being a man. Atwill invites us into the true wonder that appears when our fixed views start to give way. We already know how to discover our own awakening. It is happening without our needing to try. Listen in to learn about endless transformation and how to align with the natural flow of things. "Another word for awakening is intimacy with the whole of my situation." — Allison Atwill. What You'll Learn: How to feel into the moment What is the transformation of things How to align with the transformation of things What are the impediments to a freer state of being How to be more comfortable with change — Links Mentioned: Learn more about this episode Learn more about koans Learn more about Zen John Tarrant's books: Bring Me the Rhinoceros The Story of the Buddha

Through exploring the classic Roadrunner and Wiley Coyote screenwriting rules, Roshi John Tarrant interrogates the constraints we so often place on life in hopes of it all making more sense. In meditation, our rules often begin to loosen, and the true absurdity and delight of our situation becomes clearer. What will we do with what we are given? Just taking it all in is a start. "One of the fundamental things in Zen would be being adaptive and conforming to circumstances rather than finding circumstances." — John Tarrant. What You'll Learn: What happens after awakening How to stop fighting our mind Why don't we own our joy How to cultivate a generous attitude Ways to find what is true for us How to teach a culture What are koans for — Links Mentioned: Learn more about this episode Learn more about koans Learn more about Zen John Tarrant's books: Bring Me the Rhinoceros The Story of the Buddha

In this lively summer sesshin talk, Roshi John Tarrant engages students in reflecting on what actually happens as practice deepens during a long retreat. Like front foot and back foot walking, we get a taste of the light and then are lost again in the darkness. We reach for a new koan or practice that will open the "right" door. Seeing our true nature encompasses both the light and the dark. Let the koan carry you. "There is not a matter or right or wrong. There is a matter of being here and respecting the quality of being here." — John Tarrant. What You'll Learn: How does meditation change the mind What is front foot walking How to harness the natural movement of the mind Why we should lean into difficulties How perception is linked to thought — Links Mentioned: Learn more about this episode Learn more about koans Learn more about Zen John Tarrant's books: Bring Me the Rhinoceros The Story of the Buddha

Meditation is not something you do; it is something you surrender to. In this episode, Roshi John Tarrant speaks from deep inside Summer sesshin about how, with practice, the gap between ourselves and the universe begins to close and we start to trust the deeper currents at work, even in our difficulties. What happens when you surrender to the moment? "The thing about koan meditation is you don't have to be good at it because it is before being good or bad at things." - John Tarrant. What You'll Learn: What to do in meditation How to trust life What to learn from the koan about flying birds How to interact meaningfully with koans What happens when you surrender to the moment — Links Mentioned: Learn more about this episode Learn more about koans Learn more about Zen John Tarrant's books: Bring Me the Rhinoceros The Story of the Buddha

Today, Roshi John Tarrant takes up an infamous koan about a woman raising a goose in a bottle. There are many bottles that we may feel trapped in throughout our lives. Awakening is never about solving our problems but rather about dissolving the constraints of the mind. In this episode, we discuss the don't-know quality of Zen and koans in general. We also consider koans as a gateway. "Reject what is not true, and the real naturally appears." — John Tarrant. What You'll Learn: What does the koan about the goose in the bottle teach us How to care for life What is awakening How to get the goods out of the bottle — Links Mentioned: Learn more about this episode Learn more about koans Learn more about Zen John Tarrant's books: Bring Me the Rhinoceros The Story of the Buddha

This episode features several stories of awakening to what was always already here and on our side. To end the project of suffering that many of us take on, we need first to identify the types of suffering. Only then can we begin to look past the suffering to the root causes. In Buddhism, we can learn to make use of our suffering by reaching for the light. What does reaching for the light look like, and why does the mind manufacture misery? "There is a place inside of you where you can rest. Even when you are reaching, you are resting inside of your life." — Allison Atwill. What You'll Learn: How to look beyond frustration What suffering does Buddhism speak to How does the mind manufacture misery What are the two kinds of suffering Why does the mind manufacture misery What is inward radiance — Links Mentioned: Learn more about this episode Learn more about koans Learn more about Zen John Tarrant's books: Bring Me the Rhinoceros The Story of the Buddha

In this episode, Roshi Tess Beasley begins with an old Seamus Heaney poem about how the universe appears in all its splendor in the places we least expect. What does it mean to stay intimate with the being of the world, and let it unfold against our fingertips? What does it mean to give way to poverty in Zen, meaning to be empty of ideas and preconceived notions? Listen to this episode to learn how to feel your way along the wall, no matter how dark. "It doesn't matter how it comes to you, that you begin to dissolve your usual borders and feel a part of things." - Tess Beasley. What You'll Learn: What does koan Zen say about intimacy What does it mean to stay intimate with the being of the world How can we make sense of the feeling that our borders are not as certain as we thought they were What does it mean to give way to poverty in Zen How to let the world in How to feel your way along the wall — Links Mentioned: Learn more about this episode Learn more about koans Learn more about Zen John Tarrant's books: Bring Me the Rhinoceros The Story of the Buddha

Roshi John Tarrant explores the intersection of the art of haiku and silence. In this episode, he shows how the vastness of the universe is always ready to emerge out of our very own heart-mind. How do we convey this? Listen to this episode as we grapple with the marvel of being alive and the sense of vastness of things. We muse on what comes out of the silence and consider how to teach and learn from the Dharma. "Darkness is a stillness, too." - John Tarrant. What You'll Learn: How to convey silence What are koans How to explain the dharma of haiku How to interact with koans What is precious about darkness How to fulfill your life purpose Ways to convey the Dharma — Links Mentioned: Learn more about this episode  Learn more about koans Learn more about Zen John Tarrant's books: Bring Me the Rhinoceros The Story of the Buddha

In this episode, Roshi Allison Atwill tells the story of Baizhang's Fox, a classic koan from The Gateless Gate collection about the nature of karma. In this koan case, an old man confesses he was once abbot of the mountain temple, but was sentenced to live 500 lives as a fox for misapprehending the nature of cause and effect. The story of his eventual freedom touches on the relief we find in realizing that our particular karma holds within it our awakening, and indeed our piece of the world's awakening. Listen to learn how Allison found Zen and why even 500 lives as a fox become 500 lives of grace. "Suddenly it is like you become the center of the universe." - Allison Atwill. Learn more about this episode of Meeting the Inconceivable at https://www.pacificzen.org/05

Telling stories of how we are most deeply transformed by the encounters we try to keep at bay, Beasley reveals the tenderness that emerges when we can just simply feel how connected to everything we already are. Listen in to discover the red thread in your own life. "Somehow in the silence, we find each other." - Tess Beasley. Learn more about this episode of Meeting the Inconceivable at https://www.pacificzen.org/04

In this episode, Roshi John Tarrant explores a koan from The Blue Cliff Record featuring great Yunmen, great Cloud-Gate: A student asked Yunmen, "When the tree withers and the leaves fall, what's that?" Yunmen said, "The Golden Wind reveals itself." — transl. by John Tarrant & Joan Sutherland Exploring the beauty and wistfulness of Autumn, Tarrant describes it as a time of connecting with the eternal; a time when the spaciousness inside everything becomes especially apparent. Autumn also brings about the descent into darkness that evokes Persephone's return to Hades. It is through moving down, he says, that we eventually come to rest and be carried by the larger currents of life itself. "You have to go down before you can come up." - John Tarrant. Learn more about this episode of Meeting the Inconceivable at https://www.pacificzen.org/03

Koans transform us through immersion and saturation, by dissolving the usual boundaries we keep between us and the world. If you have an unanswerable question, the koan is designed to open it. Today's episode explores a koan from the Miscellaneous Collection that poses: In the Sea of Ise, 10,000 feet down, lies a single stone. I want to pick up that stone without getting my hands wet. Roshi John Tarrant offers a guided meditation down through the ship wrecks, strange creatures, and unimaginable depths of our lives, showing how koans offer a kind of imaginative mindfulness by bringing attention to reality beneath the level of our usual thoughts. This koan brings images and sensations with it. There's water, earth, depth, sinking, light from above, pressure, breath, moving in the dark, finding, meeting, meeting yourself, rising up, shallowness, an impossible feat, getting immersed, and being untouched. Also, foxes. Listen to this episode for a full experience of one of the great Japanese koans. "The sweetness in the path of using a koan, is that it assumes that we can change." - John Tarrant. Learn more about this episode of Meeting the Inconceivable at https://www.pacificzen.org/02

Today's episode centers on awakening as a practice of intimacy. Roshi John Tarrant takes up koan case 89 from The Blue Cliff Record: Yunyan asked Daowu, "How does Guanyin use all those hands and eyes?" Daowu answered, "It's like feeling behind you for a pillow in the middle of the night." "I understand." "What do you understand?" "The whole body is hands and eyes." "That's very well expressed, but it doesn't say it all." "What would you say, older brother?" "All through the body are hands and eyes." Tarrant speaks of koans as companions for learning to move in the dark, meaning learning to embrace the uncertainties in our lives and of life itself. Listen to hear more about the secret kindness of the world, and the unexpected help we receive when we take up the real journey. "You don't go with a theory, you don't go with a plan, you just reach into the night." - John Tarrant Learn more about this episode of Meeting the Inconceivable at https://www.pacificzen.org/01