Advertise on podcast: Your Daily Dose of Hope

Welcome to your Daily Dose of Hope. I’m Phyllis Nichols. Today, I want to remind you of something: there is no prize for suffering. Nobody is going to hand you an award because you made something harder by refusing to ask for help. And yet, asking can be so difficult. Especially when you’re used to being the person other people lean on. The one who figures things out. The one who says, “I’ve got it,” sometimes before you’ve even considered whether you do. It can feel uncomfortable to need something. Maybe you don’t want to bother anyone. Maybe you think you should be able to handle it. Or maybe explaining what you need feels like another task when you’re already tired. I understand that. But staying stuck has a cost, too. So does trying to carry more than you have the capacity to carry right now. Sometimes another person can help us move forward in a way we simply can’t manage alone. They might have information we need. They might be able to take something off our list. Or they might listen while we say everything out loud and finally hear what’s been going around in our head. Help can look like a lot of things. And asking for it can be simple. “Could you help me think this through?” “Would you come with me?” “Can you take care of this one thing?” “I don’t need advice right now, but I would really appreciate someone listening.” You’re allowed to be specific. In fact, that often makes it easier for the other person to help. Think about how you feel when someone you care about trusts you enough to ask for support. You probably want to know. You’d probably rather have the chance to help than find out later they were struggling alone. The people who care about you may feel exactly the same way. Today, notice where you’re working awfully hard to hold everything together. Is there one part you could let someone help you carry? You can be capable and still need support. Let yourself lean a little. There’s hope in remembering that we don’t have to do all of this by ourselves.

Welcome to your Daily Dose of Hope. I’m Phyllis Nichols. My friend Nancy invited me to meet her at her family farm in Kentucky recently. It’s about a four-hour drive, and I got to stop and visit my aunt and cousin on the way. That was a lovely added bonus. There wasn’t an agenda for our time together. No project to finish. No big event. Just the chance to hang out, talk, and spend time with a friend. The farm is beautiful. And honestly, it felt like we had a two-day conversation about all kinds of things. I’m so glad she invited me. And I’m really glad I said yes. Because it’s easy to like the idea of doing something and then talk ourselves out of actually doing it, isn’t it? There’s the drive. There’s whatever needs to get done before you leave. There’s the work you could be doing if you stayed home. Even something we want to do can start to feel like one more thing to arrange. But I came home glad I had made room for it. There’s something about spending unhurried time with a friend. You get past the quick updates. You have time to follow a conversation wherever it goes. You remember something funny. You ask another question. You learn something you probably wouldn’t have gotten to in a short phone call. And being somewhere different gives you a little room to think differently, too. I don’t want every good thing in my life to depend on whether I have some leftover time. Because you know what? There usually isn’t much left over. Sometimes I need to make the space first. Maybe there’s an invitation you’ve been considering. Or someone you keep meaning to see. Maybe you could be the one to say, “Would you like to get together?” It doesn’t have to involve a farm or a four-hour drive. Coffee counts. A walk counts. Sitting on someone’s porch counts. The part that matters is giving yourself the chance to enjoy being with someone. Today, think about one thing you’d be glad you said yes to. Can you make a little room for it? There’s hope in having something to look forward to. And sometimes, it starts with saying yes.

Welcome to your Daily Dose of Hope. I’m Phyllis Nichols. My friend Donita shared something in her weekly email that I loved, and I wanted to pass it along to you. She’s a professor who really loves her work. But recently, she had a rough week. She was doing what a lot of us do when things are hard. Showing up, powering through, and trying not to let everyone see how much she was carrying. On one of those particularly hard days, a student told her that on the mornings they have class, she wakes up and announces to her roommate, “It’s Intro to Business day!” Imagine finding out that something you do is a part of someone’s day they actually look forward to. The student had no idea what kind of week Donita was having. She wasn’t trying to cheer her up. She was simply sharing how much she enjoyed the class. And it landed right where Donita needed it. Donita said she kept thinking about that moment. It made her want to be that moment for someone else. A real smile. An interested question. Taking the time to listen to the whole answer. Then she shared this line: “Kindness doesn’t need a receipt.” I love that. We don’t always get to know what happened after we offered a kind word. Did the person think about it later? Did it help them get through something? Did they tell someone else? Most of the time, we have no idea. But we can still say the thing. If you appreciate someone, tell them. If their work makes your life easier, let them know. If you look forward to seeing them, don’t assume they already know that. I think sometimes we keep those thoughts to ourselves because they seem small. Surely that person knows they’re good at what they do. Surely someone else has told them. Maybe. But today, they might need to hear it from you. Who comes to mind? Send the text. Say it on your way out. Take thirty seconds to share something kind and true. You don’t need proof that it mattered before you offer it. Let’s keep building hope, one kind word at a time.

Welcome to your Daily Dose of Hope. I’m Phyllis Nichols. When you’re going through a hard time, it can feel like nothing good will ever happen again. You might know, somewhere in the back of your mind, that things can change. But knowing that and feeling hopeful are two different things. So what do we do when hope feels far away? I want to offer three small things you can try. You don’t have to do all of them. Start with whichever one feels possible. First, make the time frame smaller. You don’t have to figure out how you’re going to get through the next six months today. What would help you get through this morning? Or the next hour? Maybe you need something to eat. Maybe you need to step outside. Maybe you need to put one difficult task aside until you’ve had some rest. Sometimes we’re trying to carry the whole future at once. It helps to come back to the part we’re actually living. Second, borrow a little hope. Reach out to someone who can listen without requiring you to put a cheerful spin on things. You can say, “I’m having a hard time, and I could use some company.” You don’t need a polished explanation. I’ve talked before about sharing hope when we have it and borrowing it when we need it. This is one of those moments when borrowing is allowed. Third, choose one helpful action. Something small that supports you or gives you a little more information. Send the email. Ask the question. Make the appointment. Let someone know what you need. The action doesn’t have to solve the whole problem to be worthwhile. And if what you can manage today is drinking some water and answering a friend’s text, let that count. I know these things won’t make every hard situation easier right away. Some things take time, and some things hurt even when we’re doing everything we can to help ourselves. But you deserve care while you’re going through them. You don’t have to feel hopeful before you take a hopeful step. For today, make the time frame smaller, let someone be with you, or choose one thing that helps. We can build from there.

At the end of a season, I can get caught up thinking about everything I didn’t do. The trip I thought we’d take. The friend I meant to see. The project I was sure I’d finish before summer ended. I can look at all the things that did happen and still find myself focused on the unfinished list. Maybe you have one of those lists, too. If something mattered to you and it didn’t happen, it’s okay to be disappointed. You don’t have to turn it into a lesson right away. But when you’re ready, you can ask yourself: Is there a piece of it I can still do? Maybe you can’t take the trip you planned, but you can spend an afternoon somewhere new. Maybe a visit with your friend has to wait, but you can call her this week. Maybe you didn’t finish the project, but you can give it a little attention today and see whether you still want to keep going. And some things won’t come with you into this season. That’s okay, too. You’re allowed to choose something different now. I find hope in remembering that an unfinished plan doesn’t mean the opportunity for joy has passed. There are still people to connect with, ideas to explore, and ordinary days that can surprise us. There is still time for something good. What might that look like for you this week? Hope shows up when we honor what is while understanding what could be.  That feels like a good way to embrace today and the week ahead.

I sometimes make plans based on how much energy I wish I had and I’m a HUGE optimist about what I can truly accomplish.  On paper, it all fits. I can get the work done, take care of everything at home, say yes to the invitation, and start a new project. Then the week begins, and I wonder why I’m so tired and why I feel so depleted. I see events on the calendar that don’t feel like something I’m going to enjoy as much as things I now can’t get out of.  If you’ve done that too, maybe we can give ourselves a little more room to pay attention. I’m trying to notice what leaves me feeling better and what consistently drains me. Sometimes an activity takes energy but is still worth it. A good conversation or a day spent doing something meaningful might leave me tired in the best way. Other times, the way I’m doing something needs to change. I don’t always notice the difference when I’m focused on getting through the list. That’s why I want to pause as this new season begins and ask: What is my energy telling me? Maybe I need more breathing room between commitments. Maybe there’s something I keep saying yes to that I don’t want to do anymore. Or maybe the thing that restores me needs an actual place in my week. My friend Christina reminded me last week that we can’t give from an empty cup. A metaphor that you’ve probably hear before but it’s worth asking – what fills up your cup and how can you do more of that?  You don’t have to redesign your whole life. See if there’s one small adjustment you could make. Paying attention to what you need is a hopeful way to care for yourself.

When life gets busy, I notice that the things I enjoy are often the first things I stop doing. I’ll make time for appointments, errands, and deadlines. But reading just because I want to? Sitting outside? Calling a friend when neither of us needs anything? Those things are easy to postpone because there’s no consequence if I don’t do them today.  Except, after a while, I can feel the difference. As we move into fall, I’m thinking about what I want to make room for before my calendar fills up. I don’t mean planning a whole season of exciting activities. I mean knowing which small things help me feel more connected to my life. For me that looks like taking a walk  even when it gets cooler. I also think about things like making soup, going to the library to get the rest of the books in the series I’ve been reading. Maybe for you it’s taking that watercolor class or having coffee with someone you always enjoy seeing. What if we kept one evening free to decide what feels right in the moment? That could give us time for all kinds of things.  What’s one good thing you’d like more of this season? You might put it on the calendar. You might invite someone to join you. Or you might simply notice the next chance you have to do it and take that chance. Make room for the things in life that aren’t necessary, that won’t be on the to do list but the things you know you’ll enjoy. That matters too.

A new season makes me want a fresh start. I start thinking about routines I want to get back to and projects I’m finally going to finish. And then I remember how easy it is to turn a fresh start into a huge assignment. I will confess to being a serial starter. Nothing makes me happier than planning and then beginning something new. I love it. I also know after years and years of starting things, that finishing them is NOT my best thing.  Maybe that’s you too?  I wanted to walk every day when the weather was nice, but I didn’t really stick with it. What did stick was going to the park to walk nearly every Sunday. I can keep that up until the weather stops me.  Maybe you began writing a book, or starting a blog or you wanted to get your home organized, and then life got busy. If that sounds familiar, you don’t need to go back to the beginning, there’s no need to start over. There’s no perfect anyway.   You can just pick up where you are. That’s something I have to remind myself of, because once I’ve missed a few days, or a few weeks, it can feel like I’ve failed. But the time you spent trying still counts. You learned something about what works for you, what gets in the way, and what you might do differently now. I recently heard the idea of never miss two. I am pretty sure this is from the book Atomic Habits by James Clear.  He talks about how daily intentions, like working out, or walking or journaling, whatever you want to commit to doing each day is a worthy goal, but to also understand that there may be days where you just can’t get to it. Maybe you’re sick, or something completely unexpected happens.  It’s okay. Never miss twice means you don’t berate yourself for missing once, you just make sure you don’t miss again the next day. That’s how you build the habit and give yourself some grace when you can’t follow through.  You’re allowed to begin again in the middle. You don’t have to wait for Monday, a new month, or a moment when you feel completely ready. Instead of making a grand plan for the rest of the year, what is one small step you could take today? Put your shoes by the door. Open the document. Text the friend you’ve been thinking about. Give the project ten minutes because it all counts.

It’s that time again. The light changes, the days feel different, and suddenly we’re talking about fall plans. Which I love. Here in Ohio, I think fall is the prettiest season and also there’s football and that combo makes me so happy.  Before we rush into the next season, I want to take a few minutes to look back at summer. I’m not making a list of everything I meant to do and didn’t. I want to remember what was good. What did you enjoy this summer? Was there a place you loved going, a person you saw more often, or a little routine that made your days better? What would you like to do again? And is there something you could continue, even as the weather and your schedule change? Then there’s another question: What has run its course? Maybe a commitment that made sense in June doesn’t make sense now. Maybe you’ve been holding onto an expectation of how this year was supposed to go. You can appreciate what something gave you and still decide you’re ready to set it down. I’m finding it helpful to ask what I want to carry with me into fall and what I’d rather leave behind. We don’t have to bring every plan, habit, and obligation into the next season just because it was part of the last one. Take a moment today and think about it. What’s one good thing from summer you want to keep or maybe the new thing you want to embrace now that it’s fall?  It’s okay to change and it’s your choice what to continue to honor.

You aren’t going to get today back. I know that can sound like the beginning of an episode about making every minute count. That’s not where I’m going with this. I don’t think every minute needs to be productive. I guess what this is about is how we decide what counts. For many of us, work always counts but none of us work all the time. What else counts? What else matters. I think today it’s worth paying attention to how we decide what matters, and how we honor that. When I’m busy, I can spend the whole day thinking about what comes next. I rush through one task because I’m already thinking about the next three. Then, when I finally sit down to rest, I usually feel like I should be doing something else. I’ve managed to be busy all day and it feels good that I got through my list. But how much is enough? Depending on your job, your lifestyle, there is ALWAYS going to be something else to be done. The to-do list is never really finished. So how do we decide when to stop, or when taking a break is the right thing to do? I’m trying something different and making an effort to be really intentional. If I’m working, I want to give that work my attention. And if I’m resting, I want to actually let myself rest. I want to enjoy a few minutes of doing nothing without mentally turning it into time I’ve wasted. Rest is a way to spend a day well. So is laughter, a good conversation, or taking your time over lunch or reading a good book. What would make today feel well spent to you? Choose one thing and give yourself permission to be fully there for it.

Changing the plan can feel like giving up. We decide how something is supposed to happen, create a timeline and begin moving in that direction. I do this all the time, and then something pops up that I didn’t expect or something takes longer than I thought.  And sometimes things change that I didn’t expect. Instead of pushing through, we are allowed to adjust. We can change the plan or even start over if we need to especially if things look different up close than it did from a distance. I love planning but it’s also okay to adjust when you need to. Being strong and capable doesn’t mean you have to rigidly stick to something that just isn’t working anymore.  Resilience is the ability to stay connected to what matters while remaining flexible about how we get there. Adjusting the plan doesn’t mean the goal was wrong. It may mean you’re paying attention and adapting as you need to.  You are also allowed to choose a slower pace, take a different approach or hit the pause button.  You can make the project smaller, ask for help or decide that what you wanted six months ago no longer fits who you are today. Hope doesn’t require us to cling to one specific outcome. Hope reminds us that there may be more than one way forward. If something isn’t working, don’t immediately assume you need to try harder. Pause and ask whether you need to try differently. You are allowed to make a new plan using the information, resources and capacity you have today.

I’ve been thinking about capacity lately, not just how much time we have, but how much energy and attention we have available. Those are not unlimited resources. My calendar can sometimes show that I have time for things and my brain is telling me no, that’s too much for one day.  There might technically be an open hour in the day, but that doesn’t mean we have the emotional or mental capacity to fill it with another difficult task. Recognizing that isn’t laziness. It’s self-awareness. I am fortunate to have a lot of control over my daily schedule, and I’ve learned the hard way to be realistic about what I can do well in a day.  For example, I really enjoy zoom calls with clients and potential new clients, but more than 3 in one day is a no. I know that mentally, that’s just too much. My brain needs a break.  Understanding our personal capacity is about understanding what we have to give, mentally, emotionally, as well as our time. It’s also knowing when to pause, recover and protect our energy we’ll need for what matters most.   Capacity is also about doing what we love as often as possible, at least that’s how I see it. I don’t want my life to be endless tasks and to-do lists. I want time to do other things, and sometimes to do nothing. Rest matters too!  Think about what is using your capacity right now. Is it meaningful work? A person you care about? A problem that genuinely needs your attention? Or is your energy being consumed by things that no longer fit? I know we can’t always avoid things like work and other responsibilities, which is why I think it’s even more important to protect the capacity you have for the things in life that matter most.  You don’t have to treat every request as equally important. Today, give yourself permission to save some of your energy for something you.

It’s the belief that even when something doesn’t go according to plan, we have the ability to adapt and adjust. There are plenty of things in life we cannot control. Other people’s choices. Unexpected expenses. A delayed opportunity. A sudden change in circumstances. But we are not completely powerless. We can decide how to use and grow our personal resources—our time, money, experience, relationships, creativity and talents. Resourcefulness asks a different question. Instead of saying, “Why don’t I have what I need?” it asks, “What do I have, and how can I use it?” Maybe you don’t have a large budget, but you have time to learn. Maybe you don’t know the answer, but you know someone you can ask. Maybe your original plan won’t work, but you have enough experience to create another one. You don’t have to possess every resource before you begin. Start by taking inventory of what is already available to you. You may have more options than you realized. Being resourceful also doesn’t mean you have to tackle everything yourself or be the person in charge of everything. The solution might be to get a group of friends together and start a book club, or volunteer for a cause that’s important to you.  Today, notice one resource you can use, strengthen or share. Resourcefulness reminds us we all have things we can lean on when we need to.

I was listening to my friend Alecia’s podcast recently, and I’ll share the link in the notes, when her guest said something that stayed with me. She was talking about prioritizing what is most profitable. But she wasn’t only talking about income. She was also considering ease, energy and brain capacity. In other words, something might bring in money, but if it requires a huge amount of mental energy, constant problem-solving or more stress than it’s worth, is it truly profitable? That question led her into what she called a season of subtraction. I love that idea. We usually think growth means adding something: another goal, another commitment, another strategy or another item on the to-do list. But sometimes growth looks like purposely removing what no longer works or feels right. What are you continuing simply because you’ve always done it? What takes up more mental space than it deserves? What could you pause, simplify, delegate or stop altogether? Subtracting something doesn’t mean you failed. It might mean you’re creating room for what matters now. Being hopeful doesn’t always mean doing more and more, sometimes it’s giving you permission to do less. Maybe it’s time to recognize the things that zap your energy and find a way to subtract them from your life or at least minimize the impact.  Today, think about what really doesn’t work anymore and give yourself permission to thoughtfully let it go. https://consciousedge.com/podcast/

The resilience class I’m taking has given me so much to think about. This week, we talked about composure and health and how both affect our lives as a whole. One of the ideas Dr. Donita shared was the practice of being persistently hopeful. I love that phrase. Being persistently hopeful doesn’t mean ignoring what’s difficult or pretending everything will work out exactly the way we want. It means staying in the present and actively choosing to hope from all the options available to us. Because there are always other options, aren’t there? We can assume the worst. We can replay everything that has gone wrong. We can try to solve problems that haven’t even happened yet or worry that things will not go well.  Or we can return to what is true right now today.  We can ask ourselves things like: what can I do today? What support is available? What possibility still exists? Persistent hope is not passive. It’s an active decision we make again and again, sometimes maybe a few times a day. Today, when your thoughts begin pulling you toward fear or you feel yourself thinking about the worst-case scenario, try to bring yourself back to this moment. You don’t have to figure out everything that comes next. Just persistently choose the most hopeful option available to you right now. That’s how we build our hope habit, by being persistently hopeful.