Advertise on podcast: Boysober

Hope has been stuck in a very familiar pattern — go boysober, boylapse, repeat. In Boysober's final episode, she’s desperate to break the cycle. So desperate that she travels to a monastery to seek guidance from women who might be considered the original boysober evangelists: nuns.This may not be a perfect ending. But it might be a real beginning. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Peggy Orenstein is an author and journalist who has interviewed countless young women about their sex lives, including Hope. In the midst of writing the follow-up to her popular book Girls & Sex, Peggy stops by the podcast to share her newest findings. As it turns out, you can’t have a conversation about young women and their intimate lives today without talking about celibacy.   Do you have a boysober story to share? We'd love to hear from you! Email us a voice note at [email protected], or leave a voicemail at (518) 83-SOBER. Please say your name before leaving your message, and don’t forget to include your phone number in case we want to follow up. By leaving a voicemail, you are giving Boysober permission and license to use some or all of your message in our show. But if you want to be anonymous, please state that in your call.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What happens when you try to give up men… and keep failing? After years of starting (and restarting) her celibacy journey, Hope talks to two Gen Z women who are actually doing it and thriving. From breaking patterns around male validation to redefining intimacy, Jasmine Gonzalez and Ameya Okamoto share their own personal experiences with what happened when they stopped centering men.    Do you have a boysober story to share? We'd love to hear from you! Email us a voice note at [email protected], or leave a voicemail at (518) 83-SOBER. Please say your name before leaving your message, and don’t forget to include your phone number in case we want to follow up. By leaving a voicemail, you are giving Boysober permission and license to use some or all of your message in our show. But if you want to be anonymous, please state that in your call.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

You learn so much about people when you work in a service job: How they interact, what ticks them off, and how they lay on the charm for tips. It's also fun to interact with customers, do some innocent flirting, and maybe... some not so innocent flirting. Today, we have a bartenders to lovers story that will make you believe in love again.   Do you have a boysober story to share? We'd love to hear from you! Email us a voice note at [email protected], or leave a voicemail at (518) 83-SOBER. Please say your name before leaving your message, and don’t forget to include your phone number in case we want to follow up. By leaving a voicemail, you are giving Boysober permission and license to use some or all of your message in our show. But if you want to be anonymous, please state that in your call.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Many people have had a certain someone they just can’t quit. Hope is in the thick of it right now and calls on relationship expert Jillian Turecki to talk it through. Their conversation about limerence and romantic obsession goes deep, takes some unexpectedly personal turns, and will leave you with a deeper understanding of how to pursue healthier relationships. Jillian’s best-selling book,  It Begins With You, is available now. You can pre-order her companion workbook, It Begins With You Now, which comes out May 5. And you can always hear more from Jillian on her podcast, Jillian On Love.   Do you have a boysober story to share? We'd love to hear from you! Email us a voice note at [email protected], or leave a voicemail at (518) 83-SOBER. Please say your name before leaving your message, and don’t forget to include your phone number in case we want to follow up. By leaving a voicemail, you are giving Boysober permission and license to use some or all of your message in our show. But if you want to be anonymous, please state that in your call.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Class is in session: Dr. Nicole McNichols, best known online as the "Sex Professor," is here to fix your sex life — or at least unlearn everything that’s been ruining it. From Gen Z's performative, porn-influenced hookups to the myth that good sex should just “happen,” we get into why so many people are having less (and worse) sex, and what actually makes it better. Nicole's new book, You Could Be Having Better Sex, is out now.    Do you have a boysober story to share? We'd love to hear from you! Email us a voice note at [email protected], or leave a voicemail at (518) 83-SOBER. Please say your name before leaving your message, and don’t forget to include your phone number in case we want to follow up. By leaving a voicemail, you are giving Boysober permission and license to use some or all of your message in our show. But if you want to be anonymous, please state that in your call.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Anxious, Avoidant, Disorganized, and Secure. Those are the four major Attachment Styles that you might be familiar with even if you're not in therapy. Clinical psychologist Dr. Morgan Anderson helps identify what each style looks like in dating, the biggest misconceptions that are shaping our behaviors, and what it really takes to move toward secure, healthy relationships.   Do you have a boysober story to share? We'd love to hear from you! Email us a voice note at [email protected], or leave a voicemail at (518) 83-SOBER. Please say your name before leaving your message, and don’t forget to include your phone number in case we want to follow up. By leaving a voicemail, you are giving Boysober permission and license to use some or all of your message in our show. But if you want to be anonymous, please state that in your call.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

“Are You Mad at Me?” It’s the question that lives rent-free in every people pleaser’s head — and it’s also the title of psychotherapist Meg Josephson’s book. In this episode, Meg joins Hope to unpack why people-pleasing is actually a trauma response, how it can turn into subtle dishonesty, and what it takes to stop losing yourself while trying to keep everyone else happy.   Do you have a boysober story to share? We'd love to hear from you! Email us a voice note at [email protected], or leave a voicemail at (518) 83-SOBER. Please say your name before leaving your message, and don’t forget to include your phone number in case we want to follow up. By leaving a voicemail, you are giving Boysober permission and license to use some or all of your message in our show. But if you want to be anonymous, please state that in your call.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When a woman decides she doesn't want kids, everyone has an opinion about it. For women in that position, it can be disorienting to distinguish between what you want and what society wants for you. This week, audio producer and storyteller Helena de Groot tells us her story about giving up everything to stay true to what she knew she did and didn’t want. To hear more of Helena's story, listen and subscribe to Creation Myth wherever you get podcasts.   Do you have a boysober story to share? We'd love to hear from you! Email us a voice note at [email protected], or leave a voicemail at (518) 83-SOBER. Please say your name before leaving your message, and don’t forget to include your phone number in case we want to follow up. By leaving a voicemail, you are giving Boysober permission and license to use some or all of your message in our show. But if you want to be anonymous, please state that in your call.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Comedian Chanel Ali tells us the story about how, throughout her life, she had to rely on herself to figure out the answers to life's big mysteries. Through her complicated search to find her biological family, she confronts the weight of generational patterns and chooses to build a legacy that’s fully her own. For updates on her next shows, check out her website chanelali.com, or follow her on Instagram and TikTok.    Do you have a boysober story to share? We'd love to hear from you! Email us a voice note at [email protected], or leave a voicemail at (518) 83-SOBER. Please say your name before leaving your message, and don’t forget to include your phone number in case we want to follow up. By leaving a voicemail, you are giving Boysober permission and license to use some or all of your message in our show. But if you want to be anonymous, please state that in your call.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Patterns are hard to break. Cue: Therapist and bestselling author Nedra Glover Tawwab, who joins the show to help Hope tackle her own tendencies of becoming enmeshed in codependent relationships and learn how to change her behavior in both romantic and platonic relationships. Nedra's new book, The Balancing Act: Creating Healthy Dependency and Connection Without Losing Yourself, is out now.    Do you have a boysober story to share? We'd love to hear from you! Email us a voice note at [email protected], or leave a voicemail at (518) 83-SOBER. Please say your name before leaving your message, and don’t forget to include your phone number in case we want to follow up. By leaving a voicemail, you are giving Boysober permission and license to use some or all of your message in our show. But if you want to be anonymous, please state that in your call.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Hope is no stranger to real-life romance, but when it comes to the genre of romance—books and TV shows like Heated Rivalry or Bridgerton—she’s a complete virgin. Today, she gets her education with a trip to a romance bookstore, a conversation about monster romance with romance novel expert Sanjana Basker, and a serious look at how wounds from past relationships could be keeping her from embracing stories about love.   Do you have a boysober story to share? We'd love to hear from you! Email us a voice note at [email protected], or leave a voicemail at (518) 83-SOBER. Please say your name before leaving your message, and don’t forget to include your phone number in case we want to follow up. By leaving a voicemail, you are giving Boysober permission and license to use some or all of your message in our show. But if you want to be anonymous, please state that in your call.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Cheating is often treated like the ultimate dealbreaker — but it’s way more complicated than that. Therapist (and author of "Beyond Infidelity") Lauren LaRusso talks with Hope about why cheating happens, why staying or leaving a relationship is rarely black and white, and what actually helps people heal after betrayal.   Do you have a boysober story to share? We'd love to hear from you! Email us a voice note at [email protected], or leave a voicemail at (518) 83-SOBER. Please say your name before leaving your message, and don’t forget to include your phone number in case we want to follow up. By leaving a voicemail, you are giving Boysober permission and license to use some or all of your message in our show. But if you want to be anonymous, please state that in your call.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Comedian Britt Migs tells us the story of the man she married, the bot that tore everything apart, and where dating after divorce led her. Britt is adapting this story into a special called "Dolphin Mode." For updates on when that's coming out, be sure to check out her website brittmigs.com, or follow her on Instagram and TikTok.   Do you have a boysober story to share? We'd love to hear from you! Email us a voice note at [email protected], or leave a voicemail at (518) 83-SOBER. Please say your name before leaving your message, and don’t forget to include your phone number in case we want to follow up. By leaving a voicemail, you are giving Boysober permission and license to use some or all of your message in our show. But if you want to be anonymous, please state that in your call.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Do the straight men in your life have friends? Do they have a close emotional relationship with someone other than their romantic partner? If not, and you are in a relationship with one of these men, you might be “mankeeping,” a term coined by psychologist Angelica Ferrara to describe the emotional labor many women take on for their male partners. Today, we have Angelica on the pod to guide us through why it’s so hard for straight men to find connection and what the answer might be to this patriarchal mess.   Do you have a boysober story to share? We'd love to hear from you! Email us a voice note at [email protected], or leave a voicemail at (518) 83-SOBER. Please say your name before leaving your message, and don’t forget to include your phone number in case we want to follow up. By leaving a voicemail, you are giving Boysober permission and license to use some or all of your message in our show. But if you want to be anonymous, please state that in your call.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.