Advertise on podcast: The Emotionally Focused Therapy Podcast

Deliberate Practice in EFT: Why Scripts, Repetition, and Micro-Skills Matter. Michael Preston is joined by Kamila Kaminska for a focused conversation on how therapists actually build EFT skill. They unpack what deliberate practice is, what it is not, and why small, repeated interventions can change both clinical competence and the therapist’s way of seeing clients. The conversation explores how therapists can move from broad conceptual understanding to embodied skill, why specific scripts matter, and how deliberate practice can address both clinical technique and personal blocks. Key Topics What deliberate practice really means: Kamila defines it as focused, intentional rehearsal of one small therapeutic skill at a time.What deliberate practice is not: The conversation distinguishes deliberate practice from simply discussing a case or participating in a broad role play.Why therapists plateau: Experience alone does not guarantee continued growth. Without intentional skill development, therapists may become more comfortable without becoming more effective.The value of focusing on one skill: Michael shares how narrowing his focus to a single part of the EFT Tango helped him build confidence and competence without becoming overwhelmed.How deliberate practice progresses: The process may be sequential for some therapists and more exploratory for others, depending on their specific learning edge.Why scripts matter: Repeating exact therapeutic language helps interventions become part of procedural memory, making them easier to access in emotionally intense moments.Using supervision effectively: The speakers discuss how a broad suggestion such as “validate more” becomes more useful when translated into specific words a therapist can practice.Working with personal blocks: Deliberate practice can address moments when therapists freeze, lose their thread, become judgmental, or feel dysregulated in session.Finding your own therapeutic voice: Kamila explains why learning and repeating scripts does not erase a therapist’s individuality. Structure can provide the foundation from which personal style develops.Learning from teachers: Michael describes studying phrases and interventions from experienced EFT clinicians, then adapting them into his own work.Making practice manageable: Deliberate practice does not require hours every day. Even a few focused minutes can help keep skills fresh and support steady growth. To learn more about working with or training with Michael Barnett or Dr. Silvina Irwin visit their websites www.michaelbarnettlpc.com www.drsilvinairwin.com www.eftcla.org To learn more about working with Michael Preston for EFT Supervision visit Michael's website. www.michaelprestonlpc.com To join the Waitlist for the Michael's Tango Deliberate Practice Group visit www.michaelprestonlpc.com/tangowaitlist

EFT externships, LGBTQ+ therapy, and dementia: What therapists need to know! Michael Preston talks with Sandra Taylor of the British Emotionally Focused Therapy Center about what makes EFT externships powerful in person, how to prepare for a four-day training, and what therapists often miss when working with LGBTQ+ couples. Sandra also shares deeply personal, clinically rich reflections on working with couples facing dementia, including grief, connection, and the idea of “rementing.” To Join Sandra, Sarah, and Michael along with the rest of the BEFT Centre Training team in Edinburgh visit: https://www.beftcentre.org/efct-in-person-edinburgh-oct-2026/ To learn more about working with Michael Preston for supervision visit www.michaelprestonlpc.comDon't forget to follow The Emotionally Focused Therapy Podcast on Spotify and Apple Podcast.Attribution:Intro MusicPalms Down by Blue Dot Palms Down by ⁠Blue Dot Session dfrv4qmi

Michael Preston talks with Laurie Watson about why sex belongs in couples therapy from the very first session, how sexual and emotional cycles intersect, and how attachment shapes desire, vulnerability, and repair. Laurie shares a practical EFT lens for understanding sexual pursuer-withdrawer patterns, coercion, shame, affair recovery, and how therapists can normalize sexual conversation without taking over the couple’s work. To Preorder Laurie and George's new book Brave Love, Great Sex visit https://www.amazon.com/Brave-Love-Great-Sex-Relationships/dp/B0G7CTTFTK To learn more about working with Michael Preston for supervision visit www.michaelprestonlpc.com Don't forget to follow The Emotionally Focused Therapy Podcast on Spotify and Apple Podcast.

EFT Intensives with Kelly Bourque Michael Preston talks with Kelly Bourque, resident EFT intensive specialist, about how to screen couples, structure EFT intensives, and decide whether this model is the right fit for a therapist or a couple. Kelly shares the practical systems she has refined over years of doing intensives full time, plus the pacing, safety, and follow-up work that make the model effective.In this episode, they focus on what actually changes in an intensive, what does not change, and why clarity matters more than trying to force a breakthrough. Kelly also explains how her training and e-course help therapists prepare with paperwork, consult structure, and realistic expectations. To learn more about attending Kelly's EFT intensives trainings visit www.RedTherapyGroup.com As always to work with EFT Trainers Michael Barnett or Dr. Silvina Irwin visit their websites: www.MichaelBarnettlpc.com www.DrSilvinaIrwin.com To work with EFT Supervisor Michael Preston visit his website: www.MichaelPrestonLPC.com Attribution:Intro MusicPalms Down by Blue Dot Palms Down by ⁠Blue Dot Session dfrv4qmi

In this episode of the Emotionally Focused Therapy Podcast, Michael Preston and Katarina Sandizell explore the nuances of integrating psychoeducation within EFT sessions while maintaining emotional engagement. They discuss strategies for therapists to stay authentic, avoid over-explaining, and foster client vulnerability—all while navigating their own personal and attachment patterns. LINKS To Learn more about Joining the EFT Deliberate Practice Group that will start in September, Go to: www.michaelprestonlpc.com/tango To learn about working with Katarina visit www.lovefrontiertherapy.com As always to work with EFT Trainers Michael Barnett or Dr. Silvina Irwin visit their websites: www.MichaelBarnettlpc.com www.DrSilvinaIrwin.com To work with EFT Supervisor Michael Preston visit his website: www.MichaelPrestonLPC.com Attribution:Intro MusicPalms Down by Blue Dot Palms Down by ⁠Blue Dot Session dfrv4qmi

Navigating EFT with the LGBTQIA+ Community: Insights from Matthew HarrisIn this episode, Michael Preston is joined by Matthew Harris, an EFT supervisor with a rich background in working with LGBTQIA+ clients. They explore how EFT can be adapted to better serve sexual and gender minority populations, emphasizing authenticity, curiosity, and cultural humility. Whether you're new to this community or seeking to deepen your practice, this conversation offers practical insights and inspiring reflections. LINKS To Learn more about Joining the EFT Deliberate Practice Group that will start in September, Go to: www.michaelprestonlpc.com/tango To learn about working with Matthew Harris visit www.matthewharrismft.com As always to work with EFT Trainers Michael Barnett or Dr. Silvina Irwin visit their websites: www.MichaelBarnettlpc.com www.DrSilvinaIrwin.com To work with EFT Supervisor Michael Preston visit his website: www.MichaelPrestonLPC.com Attribution:Intro MusicPalms Down by Blue Dot Palms Down by ⁠Blue Dot Session dfrv4qmi

Breaking Down Barriers: Integrating Sexuality & EFT — An Expert Conversation. In this discussion, Lisa Blum shares her insights on how EFT therapists can confidently incorporate discussions of sex and intimacy into their practice. We explore practical strategies for normalizing conversations around sexuality, addressing desire discrepancies, and enhancing relational safety in therapy. LINKS To Learn more about Joining the EFT Deliberate Practice Group that will start in JULY, Go to: www.michaelprestonlpc.com/tango To learn about Lisa and Sil's Hold Me Tight Weekend or working with Dr. Blum as a Supervisor visit www.drlisablum.com https://www.eftresourcecenter.com/ As always to work with EFT Trainers Michael Barnett or Dr. Silvina Irwin visit their websites: www.MichaelBarnettlpc.com www.DrSilvinaIrwin.com To work with EFT Supervisor Michael Preston visit his website: www.MichaelPrestonLPC.com Attribution:Intro MusicPalms Down by Blue Dot Palms Down by ⁠Blue Dot Session dfrv4qmi

Navigating Family Dynamics and Therapist Self-Care in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)In this insightful episode, Michael Preston and EFT trainer Sarah McConnell explore the nuances of working with family systems, shifting from couple to family therapy, and maintaining therapist resilience. This conversation offers practical frameworks and reflections for therapists seeking to deepen their understanding and effectiveness in EFT.Main Topics: Transitioning from couples to family therapy: hierarchy vs. equalityStages of EFFT and their focus on caregiver availability and child blocksValidating behaviors in family sessions: tracking and understanding responsesManaging self-awareness and self-care as a therapist in complex sessionsSimplifying EFT process for ongoing growth and managing messy sessionsRecognizing and working with pursuer and withdrawer cyclesBuilding secure attachment through responsive caregivingResources and upcoming trainings in EFT and EFFT modelsSarah shares her perspective on shifting from couple to family models and the importance of understanding stages in EFFTDiscussion on how attachment principles underpin family work, emphasizing caregiver availabilityTechniques for validating different behaviors and keeping the focus on process during family sessionsPractical advice for therapists to stay grounded and self-compassionate when sessions become complicatedThe significance of ongoing practice, reflection, and community engagement in mastering EFT skills To Learn more about Joining the EFT Deliberate Practice Group that will start in JULY, Go to: www.michaelprestonlpc.com/tango To learn about working with Sarah McConnell visit: https://www.beftcentre.org/ As always to work with EFT Trainers Michael Barnett or Dr. Silvina Irwin visit their websites: www.MichaelBarnettlpc.com www.DrSilvinaIrwin.com To work with EFT Supervisor Michael Preston visit his website: www.MichaelPrestonLPC.com Attribution:Intro MusicPalms Down by Blue Dot Palms Down by ⁠Blue Dot Session dfrv4qmi

Join Michael Preston and Rachel Chiu as they explore the impact of patriarchy and misogyny on emotional health, gender roles, and relationships. This conversation offers deep insights into how systemic oppression shapes personal experiences and therapeutic practices. keywords patriarchy, misogyny, gender roles, emotional health, systemic oppression, EFT, therapy, cultural narratives, gender equality key topics Impact of patriarchy and misogyny on emotional healthHow systemic oppression influences gender roles and relationshipsStrategies for therapists to address cultural narratives in session To Reach out for Supervision with Rachel Chiu visit her website: https://www.restoretherapysc.com/eft-supervision To Learn more about EFT Triage 2026 in Los Vegas visit: https://efttriage.com/ As always to work with EFT Trainers Michael Barnett or Dr. Silvina Irwin visit their websites: www.MichaelBarnettlpc.com www.DrSilvinaIrwin.com To work with EFT Supervisor Michael Preston visit his website: www.MichaelPrestonLPC.com To join Michael's Tango Class waitlist visit: WWW.MichaelPrestonLPC.com/tangowaitlist Attribution:Intro MusicPalms Down by Blue Dot Palms Down by ⁠Blue Dot Session dfrv4qmi

Building Diversity and Addressing Complex Issues in EFT: Insights with Jenna Irvin. Join us as Jenna Irvin shares her journey in increasing diversity within the EFT community, her work with BIPOC therapists, and practical strategies for managing complex couples therapy cases. To Reach out for Supervision with Jena Irvin visit her website: https://www.smyrnacouplescounseling.com/supervision To Learn more about Core Skills Training in Atlanta this summer visit: https://www.eftatlanta.com As always to work with EFT Trainers Michael Barnett or Dr. Silvina Irwin visit their websites: MichaelBarnettlpc.com DrSilvinaIrwin.com To work with EFT Supervisor Michael Preston visit his website: www.MichaelPrestonLPC.com To join Michael's Tango Class waitlist visit: WWW.MichaelPrestonLPC.com/tangowaitlist Attribution:Intro MusicPalms Down by Blue Dot Palms Down by ⁠Blue Dot Session dfrv4qmi

Supporting Neurodiverse Couples and Therapists in EFT: Insights from Grazel GarciaIn this episode, we dive into neurodiversity with Grazel Garcia, author of Cross Signals, sharing strategies to adapt EFT for neurodiverse clients and honoring the therapist's own nervous system. Whether you're working with neurodiverse couples or navigating your own sensory sensitivities, this conversation offers practical guidance grounded in neuroaffirmative practices.Main Topics: How to modify EFT techniques for neurodiverse clients, including pacing and language adjustmentsRecognizing neurological differences in emotional expression and processingAttuning to sensory sensitivities and creating a neurodiverse-friendly therapy environmentSupporting neurodivergent therapists to self-regulate in challenging sessionsBridging understanding between neurodivergent and neurotypical partners through attachment bids and love languageThe importance of slowing down and pacing interventions based on client neurotypesHow to recognize and validate different ways emotions are felt and expressedUsing neuroaffirmative language to validate clients’ internal experiencesPractical tips like fidget toys, lighting adjustments, and pacing strategiesThe significance of self-awareness and regulation for therapists working with high-stimulus couplesExploring attachment behaviors that look different but carry meaningful connectionFor information about working with Grazel Garcia: Grazel Garcia Psychotherapy & Associates has rebranded to Grayslate.  You can reach Grazel directly at either email addresses: For book info and speaking engagements, workshops: [email protected]  For mental health services: [email protected]  Book "Crossed Signals" sign up link:  https://grazelgarciatherapy.com/crossed-signals/ Release date:  June 2026 To Learn more about Core Skills Training in Atlanta this summer visit: https://www.eftatlanta.com As always to work with EFT Trainers Michael Barnett or Dr. Silvina Irwin visit their websites: MichaelBarnettlpc.com DrSilvinaIrwin.com or to work with EFT Supervisor Michael Preston visit his website: www.MichaelPrestonLPC.com To join Michael's Tango Class waitlist visit: WWW.MichaelPrestonLPC.com/tangowaitlist Attribution:Intro MusicPalms Down by Blue Dot Palms Down by ⁠Blue Dot Session dfrv4qmi

Michael Preston meets with EFT Supervisor, Annabel Safinia, for the first episode of The Supervision Tapes. In their discussion Michael presents Annabelle with questions submittied by the audience and the two discuss how they would approach them from an EFT Framework. Annabelle shares her insights on handling challenging moments with confidence. She discusses how to recognize and slow down escalation, to prevent session derailment and turn crises into teaching moments. You’ll discover how to interpret action tendencies like pursuit and withdrawal, and how to work empathically with client defenses rather than against them. Plus, learn the importance of self-awareness and self-compassion as a therapist, so you can stay grounded when everything feels like chaos. Michael and Annabelle break down specific techniques for pausing and grounding during high-stakes moments, including a playful Western metaphor to help you see escalation as a runaway carriage that needs gently pulling over. They offer practical advice on managing your own internal reactions—whether it’s freeze, panic, or self-criticism—and turning these responses into opportunities for growth. Annabel Safinia is an EFT supervisor based in London, known for her approach to foundational skills practice and her passion for helping clinicians master the ‘meat and potatoes’ of EFT. Her work emphasizes the crucial role of therapist self-awareness in transforming therapeutic challenges into opportunities for healing. Perfect for EFT clinicians seeking tools to manage session turbulence.To learn more about working with Annabelle you can visit her website www.calrelationshipclinic.com www.annabellesafinia.com To learn more about working with or training with Michael Barnett or Dr. Silvina Irwin visit their websites www.michaelbarnettlpc.com www.drsilvinairwin.com www.eftcla.org To learn more about working with Michael Preston for EFT Supervision visit Michael's website. www.michaelprestonlpc.com For more info on Michael's Tango Course visit www.michaelprestonlpc.com/tango Attribution:Intro MusicPalms Down by Blue Dot Palms Down by ⁠Blue Dot Session dfrv4qmi

In this episode, hosts Michael Preston, Silvina Irwin, and Michael Barnett reflect on the foundational elements of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), focusing on Stage Two, particularly the critical moments of mismatch and vulnerability. They share insights, real cases, and practical strategies for working with trauma, couples' risk-taking, and creating transformational experiences in therapy.Main Topics: The significance of mismatch moments in fostering change in EFT and how they challenge clients' learned safety rulesThe neurobiological and emotional implications of high-risk moments in couples therapyStrategies for working with trauma-affected couples, including pacing, validating vulnerability, and managing triggersThe role of narrative and coherence in consolidating breakthroughs in sessionInnovations and upcoming EFT trainings, including the EFT Triage Conference and specialization topics (sexual trauma, addiction, and ruptures)The importance of therapists' self-awareness and patience during fragile moments of changeEFTTriage.com MichaelBarnettlpc.comDrSilvinaIrwin.comMichaelPrestonlpc.comThank you for being part of the journey—your engagement fuels the ongoing exploration of EFT’s potentials. We look forward to continuing this work with you in season two!

Discover how emotionally focused therapy (EFT) leverages deep, experiential work to create transformative change in relationships. In this episode, we explore the nuance of stage two enactments, how to recognize when clients are ready, and the vital role of daring to go into painful, disowned fears to foster healing.In this episode: The distinct focus of EFT stage two: enactments of attachment fears and needsThe importance of creating disconfirming experiences to rewire neural networksHow to gauge client readiness for heightened emotional workThe critical role of therapist self-awareness and practice in depth workStrategies for managing the challenges of zoom-based EFT sessionsThe significance of trust, alliance, and stabilizing stages before deep interventionsEncouragement for therapists learning to do this transformative, experiential depth work For information on the EFT Triage Conference visit: www.efttriage.com To learn more about working with or training with Michael Barnett or Dr. Silvina Irwin visit their websites www.michaelbarnettlpc.com www.drsilvinairwin.com www.eftcla.org To learn more about working with Michael Preston for EFT Supervision visit Michael's website. www.michaelprestonlpc.com For more info on Michael's Tango Course visit www.michaelprestonlpc.com/tango Attribution:Intro MusicPalms Down by Blue Dot Palms Down by ⁠Blue Dot Sessions dfrv4qmi

In this episode of the Emotionally Focused Therapy podcast, hosts Michael Preston, Michael Barnett, and Dr. Sylvina Irwin delve into the intricacies of transitioning from stage one to stage two of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). They discuss the importance of understanding the different goals of each stage, the role of the therapist, and the significance of heightening emotional experiences. The conversation emphasizes the need to explore attachment fears and working models, highlighting how partners can provide support during this process. The hosts share insights on how to elicit deep emotional experiences and the healing power of vulnerability in relationships, ultimately aiming to create lasting change through secure attachments. To learn more about working with or training with Michael Barnett or Dr. Silvina Irwin visit their websites www.michaelbarnettlpc.com www.drsilvinairwin.com www.eftcla.org To learn more about working with Michael Preston for EFT Supervision visit Michael's website. www.michaelprestonlpc.com For more info on Michael's Tango Course visit www.michaelprestonlpc.com/tango Attribution:Intro MusicPalms Down by Blue Dot Palms Down by ⁠Blue Dot Sessions dfrv4qmi