Advertise on podcast: The High Conflict Blueprint | for Stepmoms Dealing with a Toxic or Narcissistic Ex

You didn't know it was going to be like this. When you started this relationship, you thought the drama from the ex would settle down. That things would get easier. That eventually, you'd get to just enjoy your life together without it being sabotaged all the time.  But here you are – 1 year in, maybe 2 or 3, maybe even more – and you're still waiting for that future to arrive. And now the reality is starting to sink in. This might not change. It might always be like this.  And the thought of that can leave you feeling exhausted, numb, and maybe even questioning everything.  If that's where you are right now, I want to talk to you about what's really going on with you. And the way to get through this. 👉 Episode Show Notes: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/losing-hope-high-conflict-ex 🔍 Not sure if she's truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz 🎙️Got a topic you'd like me to cover? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast-tips Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

Six years ago, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Because you don't know what this is like until you're in it, and then you don't know what to do to fix it. But here's what I've learned since then – four truths that completely changed how I handle this situation with the high conflict ex. If you're burnt out from trying everything and getting nowhere, and you're wondering if you'll ever figure this out – this episode will give you the answers you need. I learned the hard way – but you don’t have to.  👉 Episode Show Notes: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/4-truths-high-conflict-ex 🔍 Not sure if she's truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz 🎙️Got a topic you'd like me to cover? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast-tips Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

The ex didn't tell your partner about the doctor's appointment. Again. Or the school event. Or the medication change. Or the parent-teacher conference. And now he’s calling the doctor, the pharmacy, the school, trying to piece together what's happening with his own child. You've watched this play out so many times.  And here's what makes it so frustrating – he keeps trying to get her to communicate. But it never works. Because this isn't about poor communication. It's about control. Today I'll show you what's really happening when she withholds information, and what you and your partner can do to stop the cycle. 👉 Episode Show Notes: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/ex-withholds-information-about-kids 🔍 Not sure if she's truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz 🎙️Got a topic you'd like me to cover? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast-tips Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

Things have been quiet lately. And now suddenly, there's chaos. A lawyer letter. A sudden accusation. A demand that makes absolutely no sense. And you're standing there thinking "What did we do? Where is this even coming from?" But there WAS a trigger. You just missed it.  The problem with that though, is if you don’t know where the escalation is coming from, you end up wasting energy on the wrong problem. In this episode, I'll show you how to find the trigger and reveal the pattern underneath – so you stop trying to solve the problem she's claiming exists, and start seeing the problem that actually exists. Because once you see what’s actually driving the escalation, you'll be able to see what actions are worth your energy – and what's not. 👉 Show Notes: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/why-she-escalates-when-nothing-happened 🔍 Not sure if she's truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz 🎙️Got a topic you'd like me to cover? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast-tips Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

You're doing all the work to keep things civil. You manage yourself. You think before you respond. You try to stay calm when you want to scream. And the ex? She gets to do whatever she wants. She sends nasty texts, creates chaos, manipulates the kids, and faces no consequences whatsoever. And it's unfair that you have to be the bigger person while she’s the one being awful. But that unfairness isn't the thing that's hurting you most.  It's the resentment you're carrying about it. And that resentment is costing you more than you think. In this episode, I'm going to show you why you're the one stuck doing all the emotional work when dealing with a high conflict ex, what that resentment is actually stealing from you, and how to stop paying that cost. 👉 Episode Show Notes: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/stop-resentment-high-conflict-ex 🔍 Not sure if she's truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz 🎙️Got a topic you'd like me to cover? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast-tips Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

Imagine having a system where you can stop spiralling within 30 minutes after you’ve been triggered by the ex.  Not three hours. Not three days. 30 minutes. You know you shouldn't engage when she sends those messages. You know you should have boundaries. You know you should stay calm. But here's the problem. You can't. You’re triggered, and you can’t stop the mental loop.  And even though you told yourself you wouldn't engage this time – you find yourself doing it anyway. You respond. You defend. You explain. And then you're angry with yourself on top of everything else. But what if you had a simple, step-by-step plan you could pull out the moment you're triggered to stop that mental loop. So you can decide how to respond instead of just reacting and regretting it later. In this episode, I'm showing you the system I use to stop the spiral fast. It's practical, it's doable, and it works. 👉 Get the 30 Minute Reset: highconflictblueprint.com/reset 👉 Episode Show Notes: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/how-to-stop-spiraling-when-high-conflict-ex-triggers-you 🔍 Not sure if she's truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz 🎙️Got a topic you'd like me to cover? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast-tips Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

You know that feeling when you've been triggered. She sends that text, makes that comment, or pulls something, and instantly, your heart's pounding. You feel shaky. Then you react. Maybe you snap. Maybe you say something you regret. And then the spiral starts. Hours later, you're still thinking about it. You try to focus on work – but you can't. That night, you're awake at 2am, still replaying it. The next day, you're exhausted. Short-tempered. And beating yourself up. "Why can't I just let this go?" Well, there's a good reason why you can't just let it go. And once you understand what's actually happening in your brain when you get triggered and why you can't stop the spiral, it becomes a lot easier to see the way out. If you've lost entire days spiralling after dealing with a high conflict ex, this is for you. 👉 Episode Show Notes: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/spiral-after-high-conflict-ex-triggers 🔍 Not sure if she's truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz 🎙️Got a topic you'd like me to cover? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast-tips Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

Imagine the ex tries to manipulate you, and you just... don't react. Instead, you just go about your day. She has no power over you. Sounds nice, right? But that's not what's happening. What's actually happening is this – she says something and immediately you're frustrated. You start explaining. Defending. She comes back with something ridiculous. Now you're angry. And the cycle continues. Here's why you can't seem to stop – you're trying to force yourself to stay calm while your brain is screaming at you to defend yourself. That's exhausting. And it doesn't work. In this episode, I'm showing you the shift that makes it possible to genuinely not react to her manipulation – so you can finally break the cycle. 👉 Episode Show Notes: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/gray-rock-high-conflict-ex-manipulation 🔍 Not sure if she's truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz 🎙️Got a topic you'd like me to cover? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast-tips Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

You walk away from a conversation with the ex and feel... confused. Guilty, even. You know she was in the wrong. But somehow, by the end of it, you or your partner were apologising. Did she just manipulate you? Or are you just overthinking it? Here's the truth: if you're confused, there's a good chance you're being manipulated. And the worst part is that you start doubting yourself. Maybe you ARE remembering it wrong. Maybe this really IS your fault. But it's not. And toady, I'm going to show you what's really happening. I'll walk you through the most common manipulation tactics high conflict people use, how to recognise them, and most importantly – how to stop yourself from being manipulated.  This is essential listening if you've ever felt like you're losing your mind after an interaction with her. 👉 Episode Show Notes: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/toxic-ex-manipulation 🔍 Not sure if she's truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz 🎙️Got a topic you'd like me to cover? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast-tips Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

There's this question mark that seems to follow you everywhere. It causes you to hesitate before walking into school events. To second-guess when helping the kids with homework. "Do I even belong in this family?" You didn't used to feel this way. You came into this relationship confident. Ready to be part of the family.  But now you wonder if maybe the ex is right. Maybe you are overstepping. Maybe you’re not helping. Maybe they'd be better off without you. Everyone tells you she's just jealous. That you should ignore it. But that doesn't stop the doubt, does it? Because deep down, you're not sure anymore. If this is you, I'm going to show you what’s really happening. Because this doubt you're carrying? It’s not about you. And I'm going to teach you how to finally put it down.  This is a must listen episode if you ever doubt your role in this family.  👉 Episode Show Notes: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/stepmom-doubting-yourself-the-problem 🔍 Not sure if she's truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz 🎙️Got a topic you'd like me to cover? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast-tips Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

You've been pushing the thought away for a while now... “maybe this relationship isn't going to work.”  You love him. You're trying. But the high conflict ex creates endless drama, it’s not getting better, and you're starting to wonder if the only way you'll ever feel happy again is if you leave. But you can't decide whether you should stay or go. Both options are painful. So you go back and forth, exhausted by the question. In this episode, I'm giving you a framework to actually make this decision – not from desperation or exhaustion, but from clarity.  By the end, you'll understand why you're so stuck, what your options are, and how to finally decide what to do without spending many months or years agonising over it. If you've been carrying this question for too long, this episode will help you work through it properly. 👉 Episode Show Notes: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/leave-partner-because-of-toxic-ex 🔍 Not sure if she's truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz 🎙️Got a topic you'd like me to cover? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast-tips Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

Does it feel like your entire relationship revolves around his toxic ex? You sit down for dinner and within five minutes, you're talking about something she said. You're trying to have a quiet morning and her name comes up. You want to relax on the couch with your partner but there's this tension because of what happened earlier with her. She's not even there. But she's everywhere. And here's the thing – you can't actually relax in your own relationship. There's no safe space from her.  And this isn't just exhausting. It can actively erode your relationship. This episode shows you how to take back the space she's occupying – in your conversations, your time together, your home, and how to create space where she doesn't get to exist at all. By the end, you’ll know how to ex-proof your relationship so it's actually about you and your partner again. 👉 Episode Show Notes: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/ex-proof-your-relationship 🔍 Not sure if she's truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz 🎙️Got a topic you'd like me to cover? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast-tips Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

You've had another fight about the ex. He's shut down, you're exhausted and wondering if your relationship can survive much more of this. You both need to get on the same page to protect your relationship, and in this episode, I’ll show you how.  I discuss how to know if he’s ready, how to have the conversation, how to figure out what your united front actually looks like, and how to support each other when she inevitably tests it. If you're tired of feeling like you're fighting each other instead of fighting for each other, this episode will help you change that. 👉 Episode Show Notes: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/stop-fighting-about-his-ex-and-start-working-together 👉 Mentioned – High Conflict Institute: highconflictinstitute.com 🔍 Not sure if she's truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz 🎙️Got a topic you'd like me to cover? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast-tips Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

Another text comes through. Your partner spirals. And suddenly you're the one drafting responses at 2am and researching parental alienation strategies. You're disappearing under the weight of it. And then you feel guilty for thinking "I don't know how long I can keep doing this". But there is another way. You can be there for him and protect yourself at the same time. In this episode – I'll show you how. You'll learn how to step back without the guilt, stay grounded when he's falling apart, and support him without sacrificing yourself or your relationship. Because loving him doesn't mean you have to burn out or lose yourself to her drama. If you're exhausted and feeling resentful – this one's for you. 👉 Episode Show Notes: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/support-partner-toxic-coparenting 🔍 Not sure if she's truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz 🎙️Got a topic you'd like me to cover? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast-tips Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.

It feels like she's winning, doesn't it? Every time she ignores your boundaries, every time she gets away with something – it feels like she’s winning and you're losing. But what if that idea of winning versus losing is keeping you trapped in her game? The problem is that you're so focused on not letting her "get away with" it that you're accidentally sacrificing the very things you're trying to protect – your peace, your relationship, your goals, and your family's happiness. Because every time you engage with her drama – to defend yourself, to try prove she's wrong or earn her respect, you're playing her game. You’re giving her exactly what she wants.  In this episode, I'll show you the secret to winning against a high conflict ex – how to change the game so you're no longer playing by her rules.  👉 Episode Show Notes: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast/ex-is-winning 👉 Sign up to "The Blueprint" waitlist – your step-by-step course to finally getting your life back. Ready in early 2026: highconflictblueprint.com/blueprint 🔍 Not sure if she's truly high conflict or just difficult? Knowing makes all the difference. Take my quiz – you’ll know in 2 minutes: highconflictblueprint.com/quiz 🎙️Got a topic you'd like me to cover? Tell me here: highconflictblueprint.com/podcast-tips Heads up: I’m a certified coach. Everything I share is for educational purposes. It is not a substitute for professional mental health advice.