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She used to let everyone else win. Now nobody's safe at bowls. Ageing parents? You've got them. We've got you. JOIN THE CLUB: Visit clubsandwich.community to join the tribe, access resources, and find our private Facebook community.SEND US YOUR QUESTION: [email protected] In this episode: Sarah visits a dementia day programme run by ECH in Adelaide to meet Gina, who's living with dementia; her husband David; and daughters Marie and Michelle. Gina has become more competitive, more outgoing and more herself since her diagnosis. Vanessa Stanley-Gordon, who runs ECH's programmes, explains why that's not as unusual as it sounds. Topics covered in this episode:- Dementia day programmes as respite and quality of life- Personality change after a dementia diagnosis, masking and early signs- How relationships with pets can be an 'early warning system'- Carer guilt, and why taking a break isn't abandonment- Why vascular dementia isn't the worst news you can hear- Commonwealth Home Support and user-pays access routes Featured in this episode: Sarah Macdonald — Veteran broadcaster and host. Gina — Living with dementia, and thriving.Marie and Michelle — Gina's daughters.Vanessa Stanley-Gordon — Runs ECH's day programmes.Meet the regular Clubbers:Melissa Reader — CEO of Vera and expert on Australia's ageing crisis.Jo Lamble — Clinical psychologist specialising in guilt and family dynamics.Dr Ginni Mansberg — GP and women's health advocate who tells it straight.Dr Stephanie Ward — Geriatrician helping you understand when "old" becomes a crisis.Kerry Milligan — Gogglebox star bringing humour and honesty to the sandwich generation. This episode was supported by Australian Unity, home health and care services — australianunity.com.au/clubsandwich. Vera is your candid companion as you care for an ageing parent. Have a look at https://vera.guide. FACES (Families for Aged Care Equity and Support) is a family-led campaign asking for one honest count of the number of people waiting for their aged care funding and the people who die while they're waiting. Add your name at vera.guide/faces. Put The Kettle On — Vera's free conversation guide: the five questions worth asking your ageing mum or dad, at putthekettleon.com.au Credits:Sarah Macdonald – Host + Executive ProducerMelissa Reader – Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + ClubberJustin McArthur – Executive Producer + Editor for P. Zinner Pods (https://pzinner.com.au)Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our theme music 'Club Sandwich' — hear more at https://seanwayland.com See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Stan Grant, journalist, author and Wiradjuri and Kamilaroi man, joins Sarah Macdonald to talk about caring for his ageing parents, why he sees himself as a 'provider, not a carer', and what eldership really means. Along the way, he shares the process behind his new book, visions of John Coltrane, and wisdom gleaned from a lifelong love of music, books and family. Ageing parents? You've got them. We've got you. JOIN THE CLUB: Visit clubsandwich.community to join the tribe, access resources, and find our private Facebook community.SEND US YOUR QUESTION: [email protected] In this episode:The Conversation: Stan on confronting his father's physical frailty for the first time, realising he's more of a provider than a hands-on carer, and what he's learned about eldership as he approaches it himself. This Week's Reframe: Not everyone in a family is built for hands-on care, and that's not a failing. Knowing which role you play, and letting others play theirs, is what actually lets a family function without one person burning out. Send this to anyone who feels guilty they're not the sibling doing the hands-on care, or anyone quietly renegotiating what role they play as their parents age. Topics covered in this episode:- Confronting a parent's physical frailty for the first time- Why "provider, not carer" is a useful reframe for family caregiving guilt- In-home support services and the role of extended family- What eldership means once you're the one expected to carry it- Forgiveness, and not expecting closure from your parents Featured in this episode: Sarah Macdonald — Veteran broadcaster and host. Stan Grant — Journalist, author and Wiradjuri and Kamilaroi man. His most recent book is 'When Words Fail Us: Truth Beyond Time'.Meet the regular Clubbers:Melissa Reader — CEO of Vera and expert on Australia's ageing crisis.Jo Lamble — Clinical psychologist specialising in guilt and family dynamics.Dr Ginni Mansberg — GP and women's health advocate who tells it straight.Dr Stephanie Ward — Geriatrician helping you understand when "old" becomes a crisis.Kerry Milligan — Gogglebox star bringing humour and honesty to the sandwich generation. This episode was supported by Australian Unity, home health and care services — australianunity.com.au/clubsandwich. Vera is your candid companion as you care for an ageing parent. Have a look at https://vera.guide. FACES (Families for Aged Care Equity and Support) is a family-led campaign asking for one honest count of the number of people waiting for their aged care funding and the people who die while they're waiting. Add your name at vera.guide/faces. Put The Kettle On — Vera's free conversation guide: the five questions worth asking your ageing mum or dad, at putthekettleon.com.au Credits:Sarah Macdonald – Host + Executive ProducerMelissa Reader – Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + ClubberJustin McArthur – Executive Producer + Editor for P. Zinner Pods (https://pzinner.com.au)Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our theme music 'Club Sandwich' — hear more at https://seanwayland.com See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Maggie Beer, cook, author and founder of the Maggie Beer Foundation, joins Sarah Macdonald to talk about food, ageing and why what's on the plate in an aged care home matters more than most families realise.  Ageing parents? You've got them. We've got you. JOIN THE CLUB: Visit clubsandwich.community to join the tribe, access resources, and find our private Facebook community.SEND US YOUR QUESTION: [email protected] In this episode:The Conversation: Maggie shares why aged care food is a wellbeing issue, not just a nutrition one, the physiology behind why older palates need more salt, sugar and flavour, and why leadership is the biggest predictor of whether a home's kitchen actually works for its residents. This Week's Hack: Before you choose an aged care home for a parent, go and eat a meal there yourself, without telling them you're coming. Send This To: Anyone touring aged care homes right now, or anyone who keeps dropping meals off to mum instead of cooking with her. Topics covered in this episode:- Why aged care food is a wellbeing issue, not just a nutrition one- The one-line test for touring an aged care home- How taste and smell change as we age, and what that means for cooking- Cooking with your parent, not just for them- Ageism, and the 80% of healthy ageing that's within our own control- Maggie's own philosophy on staying creative, positive and purposeful with age Featured in this episode: Sarah Macdonald — Veteran broadcaster and host. Maggie Beer AO — Cook, author, co-host of The Cook and the Chef, and founder of the Maggie Beer Foundation, which trains aged care kitchens nationally.Meet the regular Clubbers:Melissa Reader — CEO of Vera and expert on Australia's ageing crisis.Jo Lamble — Clinical psychologist specialising in guilt and family dynamics.Dr Ginni Mansberg — GP and women's health advocate who tells it straight.Dr Stephanie Ward — Geriatrician helping you understand when "old" becomes a crisis.Kerry Milligan — Gogglebox star bringing humour and honesty to the sandwich generation. This episode was supported by Australian Unity, home health and care services — australianunity.com.au/clubsandwich. Vera is your candid companion as you care for an ageing parent. Have a look at https://vera.guide. FACES (Families for Aged Care Equity and Support) is a family-led campaign asking for one honest count of the number of people waiting for their aged care funding and the people who die while they're waiting. Add your name at vera.guide/faces. Put The Kettle On — Vera's free conversation guide: the five questions worth asking your ageing mum or dad, at putthekettleon.com.au Credits:Sarah Macdonald – Host + Executive ProducerMelissa Reader – Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + ClubberJustin McArthur – Executive Producer + Editor for P. Zinner Pods (https://pzinner.com.au)Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our theme music Club Sandwich — hear more at https://seanwayland.com See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Natalie Siegel-Brown spent years holding the government to account for the funding, administration and regulation of Australia's aged care system as the Inspector General of Aged Care. She's also part of the sandwich generation herself, raising an 11-year-old while supporting her own ageing parents. Ageing parents? You've got them. We've got you. JOIN THE CLUB: Visit clubsandwich.community to join the tribe, access resources, and find our private Facebook community.SEND US YOUR QUESTION: [email protected] In this episode:The Conversation: Natalie brings both her professional expertise and her own experience as a sandwich generation parent to unpack why a system built on compassion and dignity in law still fails the sandwich generation in practice — through year-long wait times, punishing co-payments, and a contested assessment algorithm. This Week's Hack: Get in early. Don't wait for a crisis to start the aged care assessment process — the wait itself is often what accelerates decline. Listener Letter / Send-this-to: Send this to anyone who feels gaslit by the aged care system and just wants to understand why it's this hard. Topics covered in this episode:- Natalie's own experience as a sandwich generation parent, alongside her expertise as the former Inspector General of Aged Care- The real cost of long aged care wait times, financially and personally- Co-payments, and how they hit pensioners hardest- The contested aged care assessment algorithm- What Denmark, Singapore and Thailand do differently- Australia's own hidden success story: the Veterans' Care Nursing Program Meet the regular Clubbers:Melissa Reader — CEO of Vera and expert on Australia's ageing crisis.Jo Lamble — Clinical psychologist specialising in guilt and family dynamics.Dr Ginni Mansberg — GP and women's health advocate who tells it straight.Dr Stephanie Ward — Geriatrician helping you understand when "old" becomes a crisis.Kerry Milligan — Gogglebox star bringing humour and honesty to the sandwich generation. This episode was supported by Australian Unity, home health and care services — australianunity.com.au/clubsandwich. Vera is your candid companion as you care for an ageing parent. Have a look at https://vera.guide. FACES (Families for Aged Care Equity and Support) is a family-led campaign asking for one honest count of the number of people waiting for their aged care funding and the people who die while they're waiting. Add your name at vera.guide/faces. Put The Kettle On — Vera's free conversation guide: the five questions worth asking your ageing mum or dad, at putthekettleon.com.au Credits:Sarah Macdonald – Host + Executive ProducerMelissa Reader – Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + ClubberJustin McArthur – Executive Producer + Editor for P. Zinner Podcasts (https://pzinner.com.au)Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our theme music Club Sandwich — hear more at https://seanwayland.com See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

" I always find that there's part of me here, and there's another part of me swimming with the fish in the sea at the same time." In this episode, Indira Naidoo joins Sarah to talk about her new role with the  Sydney Theatre Company, spending time under her tree, and the importance of creativity in her life. They reflect on rediscovering play and creativity in midlife, the limits of journalism in changing narratives, and how crafts, gardening, and making art can calm anxiety and restore balance. Indira shares her approach to ageing as a natural cycle, prioritising presence and family time after years of night work, and learning from nature and finding joy.  Ageing parents? You've got them. We've got you.JOIN THE CLUB: Visit clubsandwich.community to join the tribe, access resources, and find our private Facebook community.SEND US YOUR QUESTION: [email protected] Meet the regular Clubbers:Melissa Reader — CEO of Vera and expert on Australia's ageing crisis.Jo Lamble — Clinical psychologist specialising in guilt and family dynamics.Dr Ginni Mansberg — GP and women's health advocate who tells it straight.Dr Stephanie Ward — Geriatrician helping you understand when "old" becomes a crisis.Kerry Milligan — Gogglebox star bringing humour and honesty to the sandwich generation. This episode was supported by Australian Unity, home health and care services — australianunity.com.au/clubsandwich. Vera is your candid companion as you care for an ageing parent. Have a look at https://vera.guide. FACES (Families for Aged Care Equity and Support) is a family-led campaign asking for one honest count of the number of people waiting for their aged care funding and the people who die while they're waiting. Add your name at vera.guide/faces. Put The Kettle On — Vera's free conversation guide: the five questions worth asking your ageing mum or dad, at putthekettleon.com.auCredits:Sarah Macdonald – Host + Executive ProducerMelissa Reader – Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + ClubberJustin McArthur – Executive Producer + Editor for P. Zinner Podcasts (https://pzinner.com.au)Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our theme music Club Sandwich — hear more at https://seanwayland.com See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

"I'm alright, sweetheart. No, I don't need help." Every one of us has heard it. Prue Bowden runs home care for 50,000 Australian families, which makes her the person everyone corners at parties to ask about a parent who won't accept a thing. Today, she's in the chair talking about what to actually do next.  Ageing parents? You've got them. We've got you. Content note: this episode covers ageing parents, dementia, hospital decline and loneliness. For support: Carer Gateway 1800 422 737. My Aged Care 1800 200 422 (myagedcare.gov.au). Dementia Australia's National Dementia Helpline 1800 100 500, 24/7 (dementia.org.au). Lifeline 13 11 14, 24/7.JOIN THE CLUB: Visit clubsandwich.community to join the tribe, access resources, and find our private Facebook community.SEND US YOUR QUESTION: [email protected] In this episode:The Conversation: Prue Bowden, Group CEO of Home Health at Australian Unity, joins Sarah Macdonald to talk about what actually keeps a parent at home — starting with her own mum and dad, in their late seventies, still sailing and still walking the dog, and the conversations she and her sister are already having about flat landings and handrails. From there: the loneliness hiding inside "we want to keep her at home", now the banks have closed and the shopping has moved online; the eighteen-month-to-two-year wait for home care support and why you start the assessment before you think you need it; what care workers actually notice when they're in the house; why superannuation was designed to be spent; and what she'd say to a stretched, guilty listener, one carer to another. This Week's Hack: Start the assessment before you think you need it. The wait for home care support runs 18 months to two years, so the time to get on the list is while your mum or dad is still well and still saying they're fine. And if they won't hear it from you, get the GP on side — a clinician saying it often lands where a daughter saying it doesn't. Send this to: the sibling who keeps saying "she's fine, she'd tell us if she wasn't" — and anyone who's been told "I'm all right, sweetheart" one too many times. A moment that stays: Sarah tells Prue she's the doctor at the party — the one everyone corners about a bad back, except it's always a parent who won't accept help. Prue's parents, meanwhile, are in their late seventies and doing their weights. "Everyone's doing weights." Meet the regular Clubbers:Melissa Reader — CEO of Vera and expert on Australia's ageing crisis.Jo Lamble — Clinical psychologist specialising in guilt and family dynamics.Dr Ginni Mansberg — GP and women's health advocate who tells it straight.Dr Stephanie Ward — Geriatrician helping you understand when "old" becomes a crisis.Kerry Milligan — Gogglebox star bringing humour and honesty to the sandwich generation. About Prue Bowden: Group CEO, Home Health at Australian Unity, leading the team supporting around 50,000 home care customers around the country. Topics covered in this episode:- What to do when a parent refuses help, and when to accept that no means no- The loneliness that comes with ageing at home, and why it's rising alongside dementia- Preparing the family home early — flat landings, handrails, the flat way in- The 18-month to two-year wait for home care support, and starting the assessment early- What home care workers actually notice, and why they're the first to know- Superannuation, means testing, and the families caught in the middle- Staying at home with dementia, and why institutional care can't be the only answer- Lifespan versus healthspan, and why strength training in your seventies matters This episode was supported by Australian Unity, home health and care services — australianunity.com.au/clubsandwich. With thanks to NSW Trustee and Guardian — search NSW Trustee and Guardian, or call 1300 10 20 30. Vera is your candid companion as you care for an ageing parent. Have a look at https://vera.guide. FACES (Families for Aged Care Equity and Support) is a family-led campaign asking for one honest count of the number of people waiting for their aged care funding and the people who die while they're waiting. Add your name at vera.guide/faces. Put The Kettle On — Vera's free conversation guide: the five questions worth asking your ageing mum or dad, at putthekettleon.com.auCredits:Sarah Macdonald – Host + Executive ProducerMelissa Reader – Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + ClubberJustin McArthur – Executive Producer + Editor, for P. Zinner Podcasts (https://pzinner.com.au)Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our theme music Club Sandwich — hear more at https://seanwayland.com See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this bonus episode, Sarah Macdonald is joined by Kerry Milligan and Melissa Reader to discuss representations of the sandwich generation on screen. Ageing parents? You've got them. We've got you. This episode was supported by Australian Unity, home health and care services — australianunity.com.au/clubsandwich. With thanks to NSW Trustee and Guardian — search NSW Trustee and Guardian, or call 1300 10 20 30. Vera is your candid companion as you care for an ageing parent. Have a look at https://vera.guide. FACES (Families for Aged Care Equity and Support) is a family-led campaign asking for one honest count of the number of people waiting for their aged care funding and the people who die while they're waiting. Add your name at vera.guide/faces. Put The Kettle On — Vera's free conversation guide: the five questions worth asking your ageing mum or dad, at putthekettleon.com.auCredits:Sarah Macdonald – Host + Executive ProducerMelissa Reader – Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + ClubberJustin McArthur – Executive Producer + Editor, for P. Zinner Podcasts (https://pzinner.com.au)Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our theme music Club Sandwich — hear more at https://seanwayland.com See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Grief doesn't run to the timetable you were handed. A year after her mum Emmie died, Kerry Milligan thought she was managing well. Then she went back to Tasmania with a small plastic container of her mother's ashes, and found out that year one isn't a finish line. Ageing parents? You've got them. We've got you. For support: Carer Gateway 1800 422 737. Griefline 1300 845 745. Lifeline 13 11 14, 24/7. JOIN THE CLUB: Visit clubsandwich.community to join the tribe, access resources, and find our private Facebook community.SEND US YOUR QUESTION: [email protected] In this episode:The Conversation: Sarah and Kerry go back to Tasmania: where Kerry was born, where her ancestors are buried, and where she took one of the three small portions of her mother's ashes she'd kept. Kerry describes being followed around Battery Point by the voices of her dead ancestors, letting Emmie go into the Derwent from the back of the MONA ferry, and the panic that caught up with her underground at MONA soon after. From there: grief as a wave rather than a staircase, the triggers nobody warns you about, and how a kidney stone at 6:45 on a Sunday morning turned a conversation about her mother's death into a conversation about her own. This Week's Hack: Your advance care directive is no use in a drawer. Lodge a copy with your GP so it's on your medical record, and make sure the person who'd actually drive you to emergency has one too — because when it happens, you'll leave the house barely dressed. Listener Letter: Send this to the friend who's somewhere past the first anniversary and has quietly decided they should be over it by now. You don't need to write anything. Just send it. Topics covered in this episode:- What the one-year mark after a parent's death actually feels like- Grief as a wave: why it doesn't leave, it just changes shape- Scattering a parent's ashes, and choosing where and when- Grief triggers, and why the body seems to remember anniversaries- Advance care directives, and who speaks for you in an emergency- Facing your own mortality once your parent is gone- Sorting through a parent's belongings — and the things you still can't touch Meet the regular Clubbers:Melissa Reader — CEO of Vera and expert on Australia's ageing crisis.Jo Lamble — Clinical psychologist specialising in guilt and family dynamics.Dr Ginni Mansberg — GP and women's health advocate.Dr Stephanie Ward — Geriatrician helping you understand the ageing brain.Kerry Milligan — Gogglebox star bringing humour and honesty. This episode was supported by Australian Unity, home health and care services: australianunity.com.au/clubsandwich. With thanks to NSW Trustee and Guardian. Search NSW Trustee and Guardian, or call 1300 10 20 30. Vera is your candid companion as you care for an ageing parent. Have a look at https://vera.guide. Put The Kettle On, Vera's free conversation guide: the five questions worth asking your ageing mum or dad, at putthekettleon.com.au. Our FACES campaign: Last year, 4,812 older Australians died waiting for the aged care they'd already been approved for, about 13 a day. Vera started FACES to count the people waiting, and count the ones we lose, every quarter, published. If you're sitting in that wait with your mum or dad right now, add your name at vera.guide/faces. Credits:Sarah Macdonald – Host + Executive ProducerMelissa Reader – Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + ClubberJustin McArthur – Executive Producer + Editor, for P. Zinner Podcasts (https://pzinner.com.au)Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our theme music Club Sandwich — hear more at https://seanwayland.com See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Legendary ladies Janelle Adams and Nicole Bennett are looking after Janelle's 94-year-old dad Ernie, Ernie's dog Bella, and their two boys Max and Sam – all under one roof. They shared their story with Sarah on last Sunday's episode of Compass (available on ABC iView), and on today's episode of Club Sandwich, they join us with an update about how life has changed since Sarah visited them. For support: Carer Gateway 1800 422 737. Griefline 1300 845 745. Lifeline 13 11 14, 24/7. JOIN THE CLUB: Visit https://clubsandwich.community to join the conversation.SEND US YOUR QUESTION: [email protected] Meet the regular Clubbers:Melissa Reader — CEO of Vera and expert on Australia's ageing crisis.Jo Lamble — Clinical psychologist specialising in guilt and family dynamics.Dr Ginni Mansberg — GP and women's health advocate.Dr Stephanie Ward — Geriatrician helping you understand the ageing brain.Kerry Milligan — Gogglebox star bringing humour and honesty. Watch the Compass episode 'Sandwiched' on ABC iView: https://iview.abc.net.au/show/compass/series/40/video/RN2511H023S00 Put The Kettle On, Vera's free conversation guide: the five questions worth asking your ageing mum or dad, at putthekettleon.com.au. Our FACES campaign: Last year, 4,812 older Australians died waiting for the aged care they'd already been approved for, about 13 a day. Vera started FACES to count the people waiting, and count the ones we lose, every quarter, published. If you're sitting in that wait with your mum or dad right now, add your name at vera.guide/faces. This episode was supported by Australian Unity, home health and care services: australianunity.com.au/clubsandwich. With thanks to NSW Trustee and Guardian. Search NSW Trustee and Guardian, or call 1300 10 20 30. Vera is your candid companion as you care for an ageing parent. Have a look at https://vera.guide.Credits:Sarah Macdonald – Host + Executive ProducerMelissa Reader – Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + ClubberJustin McArthur – Executive Producer + Editor, for P. Zinner Podcasts (https://pzinner.com.au)Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our theme music Club Sandwich — hear more at https://seanwayland.com See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Melissa Reader provides an update on Vera's FACES campaign.FACES (Families for Aged Care Equity and Support) is a family-led campaign asking for one honest count of the number of people waiting for their aged care funding and the people who die while they're waiting. Add your name at vera.guide/faces.Ageing parents? You've got them. We've got you. Put The Kettle On — Vera's free conversation guide: the five questions worth asking your ageing mum or dad, at putthekettleon.com.au This episode was supported by Australian Unity, home health and care services — australianunity.com.au/clubsandwich. With thanks to NSW Trustee and Guardian — search NSW Trustee and Guardian, or call 1300 10 20 30. Vera is your candid companion as you care for an ageing parent. Have a look at https://vera.guide.Credits:Sarah Macdonald – Host + Executive ProducerMelissa Reader – Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + ClubberJustin McArthur – Executive Producer + Editor, for P. Zinner Podcasts (https://pzinner.com.au)Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our theme music Club Sandwich — hear more at https://seanwayland.com See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

She found out she was a carer from a line buried in her dad's hospital discharge papers, not from anyone asking her. This week's guest lived the exact crisis she'd spent her career trying to fix. Content note: this episode discusses the deaths of both of the guest's parents within six months of each other, terminal illness, carer burnout, grief, and systemic failures in aged care support. For support: Carer Gateway 1800 422 737. Griefline 1300 845 745. Lifeline 13 11 14, 24/7. JOIN THE CLUB: Visit https://clubsandwich.community to join the conversation.SEND US YOUR QUESTION: [email protected] In this episode:The Conversation: Gohar Yazdabadi, CEO of Council on the Ageing (COTA) NSW, joins Sarah Macdonald to talk about losing both her parents within six months of each other this year, her father to a brain tumour and stroke, her mother to ovarian cancer and leukaemia, while raising two young daughters and running a full-time advocacy organisation. She didn't realise she was a carer until a hospital discharge note said "daughter is experiencing extreme carer stress." Covers the year-long wait for an approved home-care package that meant her dad couldn't be safely discharged from hospital, being refused compassionate-grounds after-school care, and the administrative burden, estates, probate, emptying a 35-year family home, that continued after both deaths.This Week's Hack: If a system, a form or a person finally names what you're carrying, whether it's "carer stress" or something else, let that be the moment you ask for help, even if it feels too late or too small. The acknowledgement doesn't change anything on its own, but it's permission to stop pretending you're fine.Send this to: anyone juggling two ageing parents at once, or anyone who's ever had their caring role questioned or dismissed by a system that's meant to help.A moment that stays: "No part or period of a relationship makes that relationship or defines that relationship," Gohar says. The hardest twelve months of caring for her parents wasn't what defined her whole relationship with them, and she's consciously working to remember the joy, not just the crisis. Meet the regular Clubbers:Melissa Reader — CEO of Vera and expert on Australia's ageing crisis.Jo Lamble — Clinical psychologist specialising in guilt and family dynamics.Dr Ginni Mansberg — GP and women's health advocate.Dr Stephanie Ward — Geriatrician helping you understand the ageing brain.Kerry Milligan — Gogglebox star bringing humour and honesty. About Gohar Yazdabadi: CEO, Council on the Ageing (COTA) NSW, the peak advocacy body for older people in NSW. Also this week: Gohar features in an ABC Compass special on the sandwich generation, presented by Sarah Macdonald, airing this weekend 8-9 Aug 2026 (on iView after). Put The Kettle On, Vera's free conversation guide: the five questions worth asking your ageing mum or dad, at putthekettleon.com.au. Our FACES campaign: Last year, 4,812 older Australians died waiting for the aged care they'd already been approved for, about 13 a day. Vera started FACES to count the people waiting, and count the ones we lose, every quarter, published. If you're sitting in that wait with your mum or dad right now, add your name at vera.guide/faces. This episode was supported by Australian Unity, home health and care services: australianunity.com.au/clubsandwich. With thanks to NSW Trustee and Guardian. Search NSW Trustee and Guardian, or call 1300 10 20 30. Vera is your candid companion as you care for an ageing parent. Have a look at https://vera.guide.Credits:Sarah Macdonald – Host + Executive ProducerMelissa Reader – Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + ClubberJustin McArthur – Executive Producer + Editor, for P. Zinner Podcasts (https://pzinner.com.au)Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our theme music Club Sandwich — hear more at https://seanwayland.com See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A will is only useful when you're dead, but the rest of the paperwork is critical long before that. This week's guest lives and breathes it for a living. Marie Brownell, Director of Estate Planning and Administration at NSW Trustee and Guardian, joins Sarah Macdonald to explain what a power of attorney, an enduring power of attorney, an enduring guardianship and a will each actually do, who needs one, and why doing them together in one sitting makes life easier later. JOIN THE CLUB: Visit https://clubsandwich.community to join the conversation.SEND US YOUR QUESTION: [email protected] In this episode: This Week's Hack: Getting a will, power of attorney and enduring guardianship done properly doesn't have to cost much, a few hundred dollars through a public trustee, and it's free if your mum or dad is on a full pension. Do all three documents together in one sitting if you can. Send this to: whoever in your family keeps meaning to "get around to" their will, and anyone who's ever been an executor and found out how messy it can get. A moment that stays: mid-recording, Sarah realised live on air that she isn't sure her own mum's paperwork is complete, she thinks she has power of attorney but not enduring guardianship. Marie's reply: "you need the whole shebang." Meet the regular Clubbers:Melissa Reader — CEO of Vera and expert on Australia's ageing crisis.Jo Lamble — Clinical psychologist specialising in guilt and family dynamics.Dr Ginni Mansberg — GP and women's health advocate.Dr Stephanie Ward — Geriatrician helping you understand the ageing brain.Kerry Milligan — Gogglebox star bringing humour and honesty. About Marie Brownell: Director of Estate Planning and Administration at NSW Trustee and Guardian, specialising in wills, powers of attorney and enduring guardianship. Put The Kettle On, Vera's free conversation guide: the five questions worth asking your ageing mum or dad, at putthekettleon.com.au. Our FACES campaign: Last year, 4,812 older Australians died waiting for the aged care they'd already been approved for, about 13 a day. Vera started FACES to count the people waiting, and count the ones we lose, every quarter, published. If you're sitting in that wait with your mum or dad right now, add your name at vera.guide/faces. This episode was supported by Australian Unity, home health and care services: australianunity.com.au/clubsandwich. With thanks to NSW Trustee and Guardian. Search NSW Trustee and Guardian, or call 1300 10 20 30. Vera is your candid companion as you care for an ageing parent. Have a look at https://vera.guide.Credits:Sarah Macdonald – Host + Executive ProducerMelissa Reader – Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + ClubberJustin McArthur – Executive Producer + Editor, for P. Zinner Podcasts (https://pzinner.com.au)Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our theme music Club Sandwich — hear more at https://seanwayland.com See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Melissa Reader on the launch of Vera's new FACES campaign.FACES (Families for Aged Care Equity and Support) is a family-led campaign asking for one honest count of the number of people waiting for their aged care funding and the people who die while they're waiting. Add your name at vera.guide/faces.Ageing parents? You've got them. We've got you. Put The Kettle On — Vera's free conversation guide: the five questions worth asking your ageing mum or dad, at putthekettleon.com.au This episode was supported by Australian Unity, home health and care services — australianunity.com.au/clubsandwich. With thanks to NSW Trustee and Guardian — search NSW Trustee and Guardian, or call 1300 10 20 30. Vera is your candid companion as you care for an ageing parent. Have a look at https://vera.guide.Credits:Sarah Macdonald – Host + Executive ProducerMelissa Reader – Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + ClubberJustin McArthur – Executive Producer + Editor, for P. Zinner Podcasts (https://pzinner.com.au)Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our theme music Club Sandwich — hear more at https://seanwayland.com See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Your kid finished school years ago. They're 22, or 27, or 33. So why are you still doing their washing? Clinical psychologist Jo Lamble is in the chair for the layer of the sandwich generation nobody names. Content note: this is a lighter, funnier episode than most, although the last few minutes touch briefly on ageing parents and visiting a grandparent in aged care. For support: Relationships Australia 1300 364 277 (relationships.org.au). Carer Gateway 1800 422 737. Lifeline 13 11 14, 24/7. JOIN THE CLUB: Visit https://clubsandwich.community to join the conversation.SEND US YOUR QUESTION: [email protected] In this episode: The Conversation: Clinical psychologist and regular Clubber Jo Lamble joins Sarah Macdonald to talk about adult children still living at home, or boomeranging back — why cushioning them stops working the moment they finish school, the anxiety of waiting up at night (and why earplugs actually help), the four-layer club sandwich of caring for an ageing parent, yourself, adult kids and grandkids all at once, and why "we've got to advertise adulthood" instead of just surviving it. This Week's Hack: Stop parenting, start being flatmates. Call a house meeting. Announce it, don't slide it in sideways. Agree on the basics a good flatmate keeps: give each other space, split the chores, don't comment on clothes or friends, and raise problems on the spot instead of storing them up for three months and exploding. Send this to: whoever is still doing their 25-year-old's washing, or anyone who feels like a nag for asking their adult kid to do their own. A moment that stays: Jo's line for anyone who thinks it's "not fair" to want a life outside caregiving — some young adults are choosing not to have kids because they watched their own mum run herself ragged and never once look like she was enjoying it. We've got to advertise adulthood. Meet the regular Clubbers:Melissa Reader — CEO of Vera and expert on Australia's ageing crisis.Jo Lamble — Clinical psychologist specialising in guilt and family dynamics.Dr Ginni Mansberg — GP and women's health advocate.Dr Stephanie Ward — Geriatrician helping you understand the ageing brain.Kerry Milligan — Gogglebox star bringing humour and honesty. About Jo Lamble: Clinical psychologist, author and a regular Clubber on the show, specialising in family dynamics, guilt and boundaries. Put The Kettle On — Vera's free conversation guide: the five questions worth asking your ageing mum or dad, at putthekettleon.com.au This episode was supported by Australian Unity, home health and care services — australianunity.com.au/clubsandwich. With thanks to NSW Trustee and Guardian — search NSW Trustee and Guardian, or call 1300 10 20 30. Vera is your candid companion as you care for an ageing parent. Have a look at https://vera.guide.Credits:Sarah Macdonald – Host + Executive ProducerMelissa Reader – Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + ClubberJustin McArthur – Executive Producer + Editor, for P. Zinner Podcasts (https://pzinner.com.au)Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our theme music Club Sandwich — hear more at https://seanwayland.com See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What do you do when your kids are still little and your parents are already old? The queen of common sense, Maggie Dent, is in the chair for the double squeeze. Content note: this episode includes honest conversations about death and dying, children's grief, and caring for a parent with dementia. Be gentle with yourself while you listen. For support: National Dementia Helpline 1800 100 500 (24/7). Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800 (kidshelpline.com.au). Griefline 1300 845 745 (griefline.org.au). Carer Gateway 1800 422 737. Lifeline 13 11 14, 24/7. JOIN THE CLUB: Visit https://clubsandwich.community to join the conversation.SEND US YOUR QUESTION: [email protected] In this episode:The Conversation: Beloved parenting author and educator Maggie Dent joins Sarah Macdonald for young kids and old parents at once — why this generation got the hardest version (later babies, smaller families, COVID's developmental hangover); what's really underneath a tantrum (theirs and yours, in the middle of Coles); burnt chop syndrome and why your 90 minutes goes in the diary first; giving little kids real agency in Grandpa's care; why children need the true words for death; and how to open the big conversations with teenagers — side by side, Milo in hand.This Week's Hack: Put your 90 minutes in the diary first. Sit down with your co-parent and ask what each of you needs for an hour and a half a week — and diary it before the kids' activities. You can't pour from an empty cup, and stop taking the burnt chop.Send this to: a friend raising young kids while caring for ageing parents, or any parent dreading the "where's Grandma?" conversation.A moment that stays: Maggie's advice for a four-year-old whose grandpa has dementia — teach her to ask for what she needs: "Can I have two hugs? I think it's a two-hug day today." Meet the regular Clubbers:Melissa Reader — CEO of Vera and expert on Australia's ageing crisis.Jo Lamble — Clinical psychologist specialising in guilt and family dynamics.Dr Ginni Mansberg — GP and women's health advocate.Dr Stephanie Ward — Geriatrician helping you understand the ageing brain.Kerry Milligan — Gogglebox star bringing humour and honesty. About Maggie Dent: One of Australia's most trusted parenting authors and educators — the "queen of common sense". Podcaster, former teacher and counsellor, with years working in palliative care and more than 250 funerals behind her. Free resources, including book lists for talking with kids about death, dying and divorce, at maggiedent.com. Put The Kettle On — Vera's free conversation guide: the five questions worth asking your ageing mum or dad, at putthekettleon.com.au This episode was supported by Australian Unity, home health and care services — australianunity.com.au/clubsandwich. With thanks to NSW Trustee and Guardian — search NSW Trustee and Guardian, or call 1300 10 20 30. Vera is your candid companion as you care for an ageing parent. Have a look at https://vera.guide.Credits:Sarah Macdonald – Host + Executive ProducerMelissa Reader – Commissioning Editor, Executive Producer + ClubberJustin McArthur – Executive Producer + Editor, for P. Zinner Podcasts (https://pzinner.com.au)Thanks and kudos to Sean Wayland for our theme music Club Sandwich — hear more at https://seanwayland.com See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.