
Advertise on podcast: Plant Sluts
Rating
5from
This podcast has
25 episodes
Language
EnglishPublisher
Jonathan and JeannetteExplicit
Yes
Date created
2025/07/09
Latest episode
2026/08/26
Average duration
36 min.
Release period
18 days
Description
Hosted by Jonathan and Jeannette, longtime friends of 25 years and unapologetic botany degenerates. They’re not here to tell you what to plant or how to grow it, but to banter, gossip, and lovingly complain about all things green. Jonathan gardens from Montreal, Quebec (USDA zone 6A) while Jeannette tends her plants in Salem, Oregon (USDA zone 8B). Whether those numbers mean everything to you or absolutely nothing, you’re in the right place.
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Check latest episodes from Plant Sluts podcast
Wet Hot European Garden Summer
2026/08/26
Jonathan and Jeannette speed-date Italian and English garden designs. We uncover their green flags, red flags, and all the control freakery hidden behind the hedges. We decide which garden we'd swipe right on and what design principles we’ll steal for our own gardens, and what can stay across the pond.
But first, our garden status updates where Jonathan gardens for his ex and asks if using bloodmeal puts his vegetarianism at risk. Jeannette swears off seeds for good and updates us on the fates of the woodchucks that dared to mess with her grandmom. We also get some more tea on the community garden committee and the rampant rhubaphobic persecution Jonathan is dealing with.
Follow us on Instagram @plant.sluts.pod TikTok @plant.sluts YouTube @PlantSlutsPod
Music used with permission from Epidemic Sound (www.epidemicsound.com)
If you’re reading this far, you’re a real one. Please subscribe, comment and send this episode to a fellow slut!
Try Weeds! Bonus Video: Yellow Woodsorrel Lemonade
2026/08/12
Video available on YouTube and Spotify!
Watch Jonathan drink a refreshing glass of garden debris! You can identify yellow woodsorrel and see how the lemonade is made by clicking on the link to either our YouTube or Spotify channels.
Watch the video version on YouTube: https://youtu.be/O8lsPtM4s4A
Find out more at https://plant-sluts.pinecast.co
Bonus Cutting: My ADHD Garden
2026/08/05
In this bonus episode, we continue our conversation from Plants, Pain, and Prozac and get into gardening with ADHD. We look at how the ADHD brain functions and why this can be a help and hinderance once we get outdoors.
Check us out on all our platforms for some bonus Try Weed videos!
Instagram: @plant.sluts.pod
TikTok: @plant.sluts
YouTube: @PlantSlutsPod
If you've read this far, we'd love a rating & quick review. Help this messy garden grow!
Find out more at https://plant-sluts.pinecast.co
Plants, Pain and Prozac: Gardening with Chronic Problems
2026/07/22
In this episode Jonathan and Jeannette talk about gardening with chronic pain, stress and depression. After the trauma dump it gets optimistic with some tips on how to make it less painful and we go over studies that suggest it may even be helping our terrible moods. But first they share their garden status updates (complaints), Jeannette proposes a new segment and Jonathan spills the tea on the new Community Garden gestapo.
Sources:
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9389296/
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3372556/
https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-025-13885-5
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9564959/
https://www.nature.com/articles/s41598-025-13885-5
https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2023/06/18/1182961315/back-pain-gardening-relief-safe
Find out more at https://plant-sluts.pinecast.co
Full Moon, Full Bed: Planting by Lunar Phases
2026/07/01
Is planting by the moon backed by science, or just a superstition that appeals to the chronically online green witch? Jonathan and Jeannette also dive deep into biodynamic farming and discover what signs our favorite plants are. But first we give you an update on our thriving (sarcasm) gardens and Jonathan tries hosta shoots! Will they make his pee smell? Jonathan also shares garden tea with two stories on how openly racist this community can be (TW: mentions of racism and sexual assault). For best results, please listen to this episode during the waning crescent moon, thanks.
Please subscribe, follow, and rate wherever you listen! Share with your most superstitious friends!
Also, we had some technical difficulties that caused the audio to be of lesser quality than what you've come to expect from Plant Sluts, North America’s #1 gardening podcast. We have corrected the issue for future episodes.
Sources:
https://www.npr.org/2012/03/02/147810046/decoding-the-allure-of-the-almanac
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10004791/
https://extension.illinois.edu/blogs/garden-scoop/2022-04-16-lunar-influence-gardening
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10004791/
Find out more at https://plant-sluts.pinecast.co
Video Episode: Botanical Taste Test
2026/05/13
Watch the video here: https://youtu.be/JqhkIucMroQ
Jeannette has finally made it to Montreal! To celebrate the reunion, we took the cameras out to the greenhouse for a very special, very chaotic mini-episode.
We hit up the Boutique at the world-famous Montreal Botanical Garden and brought back a haul of bizarre, fancy, and fascinating botanical delicacies to taste test on camera. We are talking sweet Tulip Jelly, briny Fiddleheads, raw Spruce Tips, and we washed it all down with Forest Amaretto mixed with Spruce-flavored Soda.
Some were absolutely delicious, and some... well, you'll just have to watch our faces. Grab a snack, pull up a chair, and join us under the glass!
🔔 Don't forget to like, subscribe, and share this with your favorite plant enabler!
Find out more at https://plant-sluts.pinecast.co
Trail Mix: Hazelnut's Botanical Blue-Balling
2026/04/29
Jeannette visits Jonathan in Montreal and they get their fill on leafy greens in their winter coats. Jeannette commits the ultimate faux pas while not understanding what that means since she doesn't speak French. Another round of F*ck, Marry, Kill (nut edition)! We get into hazelnuts and the plant's ultimate reproductive power play, while discovering their global impact and why one chocolate spread controls the world’s hazelnuts. We also look into why Oregon calls it their state nut and what they used to call their state nut. Finally, the sluts learn about Celtic Tree Astrology and why Jeannette will probably never be happy.
**
Sources
https://oregonhazelnuts.org/about/
https://www.tytyga.com/History-of-the-Filbert-(Hazelnut)-Tree-a/383.htm
https://www.statesmanjournal.com/story/news/local/oregon/2023/11/24/why-does-the-oregon-state-nut-have-two-different-names/71596462007/
https://www.npr.org/sections/thesalt/2014/09/16/347749070/thanks-to-nutella-the-world-needs-more-hazelnut
https://thedruidsgarden.com/2021/03/07/sacred-trees-in-the-americas-american-hazel-corylus-americana-magic-ecology-and-sacred-uses/
Find your Celtic Tree Sign: https://www.treecouncil.ie/celtic-tree-astrology
https://tree2mydoor.com/pages/information-trees-celtic-tree-calendar
**
Find out more at https://plant-sluts.pinecast.co
Trail Mix: The Flexisexual Apricot
2026/04/15
We continue digging into our bag of trail mix and explore the world of the flexisexual apricot. But first Jonathan and Jeannette update us on their gardens and share their stone fruit “zodiac” placements. We go over the cyanide wellness craze apricots were at the pit of in the 70s and find a surprising US Marine apricot superstition.
Trail Mix: Cacao, the Currency of Sex
2026/04/01
After complaining about kids these days, Jonathan and Jeannette dive into the history of the cacao plant and how that became the chocolate we consume nonstop today. We answer questions like "How many cacao pods did it cost to hire a sex worker in the Aztec empire?" and "Is white chocolate actually chocolate?" We also discover the tiny, nasty pollinator that is responsible for every yummy chocolate treat you chew. And we find out if your fancy, overpriced chocolate is really anything special.
Sources:
https://www.vosgeschocolate.com/blogs/vosges-haut-chocolat-blog/chocolate-gifts-for-every-star-sign-a-zodiac-gift-guide
https://worldwidechocolate.com/magazine/what-type-of-chocolate-matches-your-zodiac-sign/
https://www.chocolatescorecard.com/
Find out more at https://plant-sluts.pinecast.co
Trail Mix: Pegging Peanuts
2026/03/18
Peanut sex gets wild in this episode! First, we try a new segment to find our sun-moon-rising Plant Placements and Jeannette tries more yard debris with Nipplewort! Will her nipples ever recover? Jonathan finds Montreal's peanut connection and Jeannette dives into the history of peanuts as a crop in the US. Jonathan also gives us the truth about these "nitrogen fixing" plants and whether we need to rotate our humble hobbyist garden beds. Absurd amount of singing in this one.
Let us know your Trail Mix Plant Placement on instagram: @plant.sluts.pod
Don't forget to follow & subscribe so you never miss an episode.https://www.instagram.com/plant.sluts.pod
Sources:
https://journeys.dartmouth.edu/folklorearchive/tag/peanuts/
https://hancockpeanuts.com/what-do-peanuts-symbolize/
https://nationalpeanutboard.org/
https://civileats.com/2022/04/12/slaves-for-peanuts-tells-the-tragic-story-behind-americas-favorite-snack/
https://www.ontario.ca/page/commercial-peanut-production-ontario
Find out more at https://plant-sluts.pinecast.co
Trail Mix: Seedy BDSM
2026/03/04
The first in our Trail Mix series! It all starts and ends with seeds. We discuss which new seeds we’re trying this season and defend Jonathan’s AI garden organizing system. Jeannette tries purple dead nettle from the backyard and Jonathan talks about which seeds need to get cold, broken, and swallowed to germinate. We go into the future of seeds and the difference between seed banks, seed libraries, and seed sanctuaries. Jonathan gives us some tips for saving seeds and Jeannette shares a spell for planting on March 19th (the new moon and last frost date in Salem).
Make sure to subscribe and rate wherever you listen!
Sources:
https://www.growforagecookferment.com/foraging-purple-dead-nettle/
https://www.rachelpatterson.co.uk/single-post/the-magic-of-seeds
https://llewellyn.com/spell.php?spell_id=6688&srsltid=AfmBOoq6mJO0KOcfqfnJysayA2mJm815jj092qk5X8mGVp_Wqx-u0k7V
https://sistersofprovidence.net/
https://thenarwhal.ca/tyendinaga-mohawk-territory-seed-sanctuary/
Hank Green on AI water use: https://youtu.be/H_c6MWk7PQc?si=nTgS77bJYRb_8HoL&t=774
Find out more at https://plant-sluts.pinecast.co
Tulips: The Bubble That Bloomed
2026/02/18
Episode Notes
**
Make way for tulips! In this episode, Jonathan bravely downs a comically overstuffed cup of foraged weeds and spills the tea on a secret teenage adventures through milkweed forests. Meanwhile, Jeannette attempts to separate art from plants… and immediately falls headfirst into the drama-filled rabbit hole of Semper Augustus and full-blown Tulipomania. Along the way, we assign tulips their astrological sign and see how well it lines up with Jonathan’s birth chart. Expect history, horticulture, astrology, and at least one questionable beverage choice.
Send us your embarrassing Garden Tea to [email protected] or slide into our instagram DMs @plant.sluts.pod.
Sources:
https://www.scienceabc.com/nature/what-exactly-is-a-flower-bulb-and-how-does-it-differ-from-a-flower-seed.html
https://www.botanic.cam.ac.uk/species-tulips-whats-special-about-them-and-how-to-grow-them-in-your-own-garden/
https://www.masshort.org/blog/tulips
**
Find out more at https://plant-sluts.pinecast.co
Haskap, We're Back!
2026/02/04
Episode Notes
We’re back with Québec ’s favorite uncut berry: haskap. This episode spirals from Jeannette's forgotten Brussels sprouts to Jonathan's most unhinged greenhouse hack yet. Jonathan also spills some political Garden Tea. Then we get into haskap: why Québec growers are obsessed with it and why it's still on the dating apps.
Got garden drama? Send your Garden Tea to [email protected]
Find out more at https://plant-sluts.pinecast.co
Winter Cutting: Apocalypse Grow
2026/01/20
Jonathan and Jeannette make preparations for the inevitable apocalypse in this bonus winter cutting episode. They don't figure out a source for fresh water but herbal Xanax is ready to go. Jonathan reinforces his rooftop empire while Jeannette considers potentially talking to her neighbors... if it's like a *bad* apocalypse.
Plant Sluts is back February 4th so start cranking your battery powered radio now!
Find out more at https://plant-sluts.pinecast.co
Winter Cutting: Houseplants
2025/12/29
In this bonus winter cutting we talk about gardening indoors aka houseplants. We go into the origin and psychological grip they have on us. We ask, are there native houseplants and how prolific is the mall plant aesthetic? We discuss the problems you can run into when bringing the outdoors inside and why they may not be the great gift you think they are (unless you're Jonathan's mom).
Find out more at https://plant-sluts.pinecast.co
Podcast reviews
Read Plant Sluts podcast reviews
Aniels Queen 2026/04/30
Loving it!
Jeannette and Jonathan provide really interesting and unique plant information while being funny, spicy, silly, sassy and occasionally raunchy haha an...
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