Advertise on podcast: Stay

In this episode, I speak with Sonora Jha about the ways we tell the stories about conflict, power, and marginalization, drawing from her diverse work as a novelist, memoirist, and journalism professor. She explores how cultural norms shape conflict resolution, the role of fiction in understanding deeper truths, and the importance of empathy and questioning societal constructs.

In this episode, Devin and Nico Hayes explore the intersection of Buddhist practice and messy love, sharing insights on conflict, impermanence, and love as a spiritual path. Their stories and teachings offer practical wisdom for staying present and connected in relationships.

What happens when we look at conflict through a group lens? In this conversation, Dr. Kavita Avula and I explore the roles we take on in groups, the histories and identities we bring into the room, and the ways power, projection, belonging, and polarization shape our relationships. We talk about her work with large groups and what it can teach us about the families, workplaces, communities, and other groups we inhabit every day. What might conflict reveal when we stop looking only at the individuals involved and begin listening to what is happening in the group itself?

Rage is often treated as a problem to solve: regulate it, soften it, understand the trigger, and return to calm. But what if rage is also information? What if it carries knowledge about what has been violated, what we have been asked to tolerate, and what our bodies and histories are trying to tell us? In this episode of Stay, I speak with psychologist, educator, and author Dr. Jennifer Mullen, known as the “Rage Doctor”, about developing a relationship with rage rather than exiling or being overtaken by it. Jennifer shares stories from her childhood, her work in prisons and clinical settings, and her own experiences of rage, fear, dissociation, and protection. Together, we explore the difference between anger and rage, the ways rage can carry ancestral trauma and grief, and how power shapes whose rage is seen as leadership, passion, or boundary-setting and whose is pathologized or punished. We get into what our relationship with rage has to teach us about interpersonal, collective, and global conflict? How do we hold accountability without reducing people to good or bad? And what might become possible if we stopped treating rage as something monstrous that must be killed or exiled and instead became curious about what it has come to teach us? A conversation about rage, grief, power, responsibility, and the possibility of staying in relationship with what we would rather push away.

Welcome to Season 3. This season asks the question: Who do we become when we learn how to stay with it. Stay doesn't have to mean staying in the relationship, not to stay silent, not to stay in systems that cause harm. It can mean staying present enough to stay with ourselves, staying present to complexity, staying in the work, or staying connected to possibility

The first of a series of small episodes where I integrate the learnings from Season 2 and offer small practices. This first episode looks back on the Dean Spade episode and invites to see how conflict is a mirror into ourselves.

What does it mean to stay connected, to ourselves, to each other, and to our deepest values, when conflict, shame, and polarization threaten to pull us apart? In this conversation, I sit down with Wendy Elisheva Somerson (Wes), somatic healer, writer, organizer, and author of An Anti-Zionist Path to Embodied Jewish Healing. Together they explore how our responses to conflict are shaped by family histories, collective trauma, and systems of power and why returning to the body can be a profoundly political act. Wes unpacks the somatic practices of "returning to center" and "mutual connection," offering a framework for staying present during conflict without abandoning ourselves or others. The conversation dives into the role of shame in both personal and political life, the difference between over- and under-accountability, and how healing shame creates the possibility for genuine repair. Drawing on Jewish teachings around teshuva (return, transformation, and accountability), Wes offers a vision of conflict that is neither punitive nor avoidant, but rooted in dignity, relationship, and collective responsibility. The episode concludes with a reflection on Israel/Palestine, collective accountability, and what it means to hold onto visions of repair even when they feel painfully distant. This is a conversation about conflict not as something to escape, but as a doorway into deeper connection, integrity, and transformation.

In this deep and wide-ranging conversation, I speak with Susan Raffo, writer, community organizer . She invites us to reimagine conflict as a natural part of being in relationship rather than something to be feared or eliminated. Raffo argues that difference, tension, and change are essential features of life, but that systems of oppression, historical wounds, and our growing discomfort with uncertainty often prevent us from engaging conflict in healthy ways. We explore what kinds of cultural “protocols” or practices might help communities hold tension without escalating into harm, and how reconnecting with land, ancestry, and interdependence can offer alternative ways of relating. Drawing on her walk across the United States, Raffo reflects on conversations with strangers that revealed common fears, longings, and desires for connection beneath political divides. She shares how the journey deepened her sense of belonging, not only to other people, but to the land itself, and reinforced her belief that community resilience depends on remembering our interconnectedness. The conversation ultimately offers a hopeful meditation on conflict, curiosity, and what it means to live together with dignity, difference, and care.

In this episode of Stay, I am joined by renowned trauma specialist, writer, and somatic abolitionist Dr. Resmaa Menakem for a deeply expansive conversation on conflict, embodiment, and liberation in a time of escalating social and political tension. Drawing from his groundbreaking work in My Grandmother’s Hands and The Quaking of America, Resmaa reframes conflict not as a breakdown of communication, but as something rooted in ancestral trauma, systems of racial violence, and the body itself. Together, we explore how white body supremacy shapes our sense of safety and threat, and why so many interpersonal and societal conflicts are echoes of much older collective wounds. The conversation moves through somatic liberation, the limits of “hope,” the seduction of systems that offer inclusion without transformation, and the difference between accommodation and true liberation. Resmaa also shares powerful stories—from a spontaneous moment of collective dance in Brazil to reflections on James Baldwin illuminating his core teaching: liberation is not something to be captured or scaled, but something to be lived, embodied, and transmitted across generations. Resmaa lovingly challenges us to examine conventional ideas of progress, urging listeners to rethink what it means to engage in conflict, resist systems of harm, and remain connected to creation itself.

I sit down with Dr. Anu Taranath, author of the book Beyond Guilt Trips: Mindful Travel in an Unequal World and explore the complex ethics, emotions, and systemic issues of travel. We delve into how travel shapes identity, empathy, and responsibility in an unequal world and get into the inherent conflicts that are built into traveling. In this conversation, we discuss how travel can evoke feelings of guilt and the importance of navigating these emotions mindfully. Dr. Taranath shares her personal journey of cultural dislocation and how it has shaped her understanding of belonging and empathy. The discussion also delves into the significance of literature in fostering connections and understanding across cultures, as well as the need to embrace discomfort as a natural part of the travel experience. Book-Beyond Guilt Trips: Mindful Travel in an Unequal World Website: https://www.anutaranath.com/

From Midwestern conflict-avoidance to speaking up in a high-stakes creative industry, this episode follows one voice actor’s journey of finding her voice, while questioning what happens when voices can be replicated, controlled, or replaced. We explore hidden conflicts within the voice acting industry, where art, identity, and business collide. Actor Christine Rose Schermerhorn shares her experiences navigating typecasting, power dynamics, and the growing impact of AI, raising urgent questions about ownership, authenticity, and what it means to truly have a voice.

In this episode of Stay, I sit down with philosopher Bayo Akomolafé to rethink how we understand conflict in a deeply polarized world. Rather than seeing conflict as something to fix or avoid, Bayo invites us to see it as the very condition through which life unfolds. He challenges the binaries of right vs. wrong, suggesting that our obsession with resolution and righteousness may actually keep us trapped in repeating cycles. The conversation explores the difference between morality and ethics. Instead of rushing to solutions, Bayo encourages us to slow down, notice the deeper systems shaping events, and engage with the “cracks” where transformation becomes possible. Ultimately, this episode is an invitation to move beyond being right and toward being responsive in a messy, interconnected world.

In this episode I sit with Oren Slozberg, executive director of Commonweal and we discuss conflict, polarization, and cultural approaches to complex societal challenges. Oren reflected on how cultural backgrounds shape perspectives on conflict, drawing on his experiences in Israel and the United States. He unpacks the differences between conflict and polarization and discusses the difficulty of responding to ongoing poly- crises and the importance of moving toward wholeness rather than focusing solely on solutions. He surfaces the powerful role art and creativity in healing and transforming societal challenges.

In this wide-ranging conversation, Dean Spade, legal scholar, community organizer, author of Mutual Aid and Love in a F*cked Up World, and I unpack how conflict operates in both our personal relationships and political movements. We talk about how systems of oppression shape our responses to harm, accountability, and belonging and why rethinking conflict is essential for meaningful social change. Drawing on Dean’s work in transformative justice and community-based responses to harm, we explore the tension between dignity and belonging, the importance of embracing diverse perspectives, and the ongoing debate between nonviolence and direct action. Ultimately, the episode reframes conflict not as failure, but as a natural and necessary force in building more just and resilient communities. Show Notes: Dean Spade: https://www.deanspade.net/

Welcome back to Season 2! I share where we are headed this season.