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We are taking a short break from recording while Jess steps away to take care of a family matter. Sending her lots of love! In the meantime, we are bringing back one of our most popular episodes from May: ADHD Women: Why You Stop Showing Up for Yourself. Whether you're hearing it for the first time or need a gentle reminder, this one is for you. We'll be back with new episodes soon! +++++++++++++++++++ In this episode, Jess and Jeannine explore why many women with ADHD consistently show up for others but struggle to prioritize themselves. It’s not a lack of care or ability, it’s that their brains may simply respond more readily to others’ needs than to their own. They examine what drives this pattern, how urgency develops, why external expectations take priority, and what happens when personal needs are overlooked. If you’re always there for everyone else but can’t seem to do the same for yourself, this episode is for you.

Paperwork can demand a ridiculous amount of mental effort when you have ADHD and going digital hasn’t made it any easier. In this episode of Angry on the Inside, Jess and Jeannine talk about why paperwork can hit so many executive function challenges at once, including working memory, task initiation, sustained attention, switching between tasks, and keeping track of information. Add vague questions, passwords, portals, two-factor authentication, printers, deadlines, perfectionism, and the fear of getting something wrong, and one form can become a whole damn project. They get into doom piles, paperwork that disappears the second it goes into a drawer, the “five-minute” task that takes an hour, deadline-fueled urgency, and the paperwork avoidance loop: put it off, forget about it, feel anxious about it, and then find it even harder to start. For late-diagnosed ADHD women, paperwork can also become one more thing used as evidence against ourselves: I forgot again. I can’t keep up. Other people can do this, so why can’t I? Jess and Jeannine get into the shame and self-criticism that can pile onto a task that was already demanding plenty from your brain. Because shame was never helping anybody fill out the damn form anyway.

What happens when everything feels urgent, your body stays in survival mode, and rest doesn't seem to help? This week on Angry on the Inside, Jess and Jeannine are doing something different. They're looking back at three of their most-listened-to conversations about ADHD women, urgency, survival mode, and burnout and hearing some of them differently now. From the ADHD urgency cycle and the feeling that everything matters at once, to fight, flight, freeze, fawn and whether “f**k it” deserves its own category they revisit what happens when your brain and body spend so much time carrying more than anyone can see. They also return to ADHD burnout, invisible effort, and the strange experience of stopping to rest while your brain keeps tracking, remembering, anticipating, and worrying anyway. Sometimes looking back at what you've already said changes what you hear. And apparently, Jess and Jeannine are still learning from their own damn podcast.

Why can you handle something perfectly one day and struggle to do the exact same thing the next? For women with ADHD, inconsistency can be one of the most frustrating and personal parts of living with ADHD. You know how to do the thing. You've done it before. Sometimes you've done it really well. So when you suddenly can't start, remember, organize, follow through, or access the same skills, it's easy to turn that inconsistency into a judgment about yourself. In this episode of Angry on the Inside, Jess and Jeannine talk about the difference between having a skill and being able to access that skill consistently. From executive function and ADHD motivation to stress, exhaustion, hormones, transitions, and all those mental “apps” running in the background, the resources available to an ADHD brain don't necessarily look the same from one day to the next. They also unpack the shame hiding underneath phrases many late-diagnosed ADHD women grew up hearing: “You need to apply yourself.” “Try harder.” “You have so much potential.” And why even well-meaning ADHD advice can recreate the same problem when it assumes that knowing what to do means you should be able to do it on demand. Jess and Jeannine also explore the difference between influence and control, why a strategy working yesterday doesn't guarantee access today, and what happens when we stop treating ADHD inconsistency like a character flaw. Because Wednesday doesn't erase what you were capable of on Tuesday and Tuesday doesn't guarantee what your brain will give you on Wednesday. In this episode: • ADHD inconsistency and fluctuating executive function • Why knowing what to do doesn't mean you can always do it • Task initiation, motivation, transitions, and mental overload • The shame of being labeled inconsistent or unreliable • Why “you have so much potential” can start to feel like an accusation • How stress, exhaustion, hormones, and other factors can affect ADHD • Why ADHD strategies can support access without guaranteeing it • The difference between influencing your conditions and controlling your brain Angry on the Inside is a podcast about the real, complicated, funny, frustrating experience of being women diagnosed with ADHD later in life—with Jess and Jeannine, two certified ADHD coaches who also live it.

High-functioning ADHD in women often looks impressive from the outside. You show up, meet expectations, handle the pressure, and get it done. What people do not see is the overpreparing, constant ADHD energy math, adrenaline, exhaustion, and crash behind appearing capable. For many women with late-diagnosed ADHD, “I work well under pressure” becomes part of an identity. But running on adrenaline is not the same as having the capacity to keep going. Jess and Jeannine talk about the pressure to repeat what you managed before, even when it depleted you and how quickly “I did it last time” can become proof that you are expected to do it again. They also get into the loneliness of high masking, Jeannine inviting someone to dinner and then wanting them to go away, the fear of letting people see how hard you are working to hold everything together, and why ADHD women may continue masking even with the medical professionals who are supposed to help them. Because the real question is not only, “Can I do this?” It is also, “What will doing this cost me?” Looking like you are functioning does not mean you are not struggling and you should not have to completely fall apart before your experience is taken seriously.

Birthdays are weird when you've spent your whole life waiting for a different version of yourself to show up. The organized one. The consistent one. The one who isn't always overwhelmed. The one who finally gets her shit together and somehow stays that way. In ADHD Women and the Person We Thought We’d Be by Now, Jess and Jeannine are both celebrating birthdays and looking at all the women they thought they'd have become by this point. For Jeannine, that gets personal. Before her late ADHD diagnosis, there was always a future Jeannine coming. She'd try harder. Be less emotional. Be more organized. Follow through. Become easier to live with. And maybe then she'd finally earn the right to have needs, set boundaries and take up some damn space. Except that woman wasn't only a goal. She was a promise that someday everything would be easier. So what happens when an ADHD diagnosis makes you question whether she was ever supposed to exist? Jess and Jeannine talk about ADHD masking, inconsistent capacity, the grief that can follow a late ADHD diagnosis, relationships, the exhausting promise to “try harder,” and those glorious weeks when your brain cooperates long enough to convince you that you've finally cracked the code. Because maybe the most important question isn't why you never became the woman you thought you'd be. Who did you become while you were so busy looking for her?

Some sounds are annoying. And then there are the sounds your ADHD brain grabs onto and absolutely refuses to release. In ADHD Noise Rage: Why Certain Sounds Make ADHD Women So Angry, Jess and Jeannine talk about what happens when breathing, pen clicking, background conversations, a neighbor upstairs, or somebody else's phone suddenly becomes the only sound your brain can hear. They get into the difference between noise rage and misophonia, why two people can hear the same sound and experience it completely differently, and the particular kind of resentment that shows up when someone could stop making the noise but doesn't. There are stolen pens, strangers breathing too loudly, accidental eavesdropping, screaming babies that somehow aren't the problem, and the mystery of needing a fan to sleep when noise is supposedly the enemy. But noise rage isn't always only about the noise. For ADHD women, a sound that suddenly feels impossible to tolerate can also say something about stress, overwhelm, masking, sensory overload, and how much capacity you have left that day. Sometimes it's not the sound that changed. Your capacity did.

S2 E2 When ADHD Girls Become ADHD Women | Louise Belshaw | Part 2 What happens when the girls whose ADHD was missed grow up? In Part 2 of this special two-part conversation, Jess and Jeannine, certified ADHD life coaches and co-hosts of Angry on the Inside, continue their discussion with Louise Belshaw ADHD life coach, researcher, and former Head of Department with more than 25 years in education about what happens after a late ADHD diagnosis. Together they explore the grief, anger, self-discovery, and healing that often follow finally understanding yourself through a new lens. Louise shares insights from her research on late-diagnosed women, what she's learned coaching neurodivergent teenagers, and why genuine curiosity not assumptions is one of the most powerful tools adults can offer young people. In this episode, we discuss: • The grief and anger many women experience after a late ADHD diagnosis • Why perimenopause can feel like a "second puberty" for ADHD women • What curiosity actually looks like in parenting, coaching, and education • Why ADHD strategies stop working—and why that's completely normal • ADHD, autism, sensory overwhelm, executive dysfunction, and masking • Why both the quiet girls and the "problem" girls continue to be overlooked • Justice sensitivity, rejection sensitivity (RSD), and emotional dysregulation • ADHD friendships, belonging, and finding your people • Imposter syndrome, self-esteem, and redefining success • Why advocating for today's girls matters just as much as supporting late-diagnosed women Connect with Louise Belshaw If this conversation resonated with you, be sure to connect with Louise Belshaw. Louise is an ADHD life coach who specializes in supporting neurodivergent young people and is passionate about improving understanding of ADHD in girls and women through coaching, education, research, and advocacy. Learn more, connect with Louise, or follow her work here: 🌐 Website: Louise Belshaw The ADHD Teacher 💼 LinkedIn: Louise Belshaw The ADHD Teacher 📷 Instagram: Louise Belshaw The ADHD Teacher Jess and Louise also discuss musicians YUNGBLUD and Professor Green, and how honest public conversations around mental health, neurodivergence, and advocacy can help young people feel seen in ways many of us never experienced growing up. Whether you're newly diagnosed, questioning your own experiences, raising a neurodivergent child, or simply trying to better understand the women and girls in your life, this conversation is a reminder that understanding begins with curiosity. Episode 1 of Louise's interview is available now wherever you listen to podcasts. #ADHD #ADHDWomen #LateDiagnosis #LateDiagnosedADHD #WomenWithADHD #Perimenopause #Neurodivergent #ExecutiveFunction #JusticeSensitivity #RSD #ADHDParenting #ADHDCoach #AngryOnTheInsidePodcast

Why are so many girls with ADHD still being missed? In the Season 2 premiere of Angry on the Inside, Jess and Jeannine welcome their very first guest, ADHD life coach & researcher Louise Belshaw, for Part 1 of a powerful two-part conversation about the girls who grew up feeling misunderstood. Drawing from her research on women diagnosed with ADHD in adulthood, Louise shares the common themes that emerged again and again: perfectionism, friendship struggles, puberty, masking, emotional overwhelm, and the moment everything seemed to change. Together, they explore why so many girls were labeled as "difficult," "dramatic," or "not trying hard enough" instead of being asked a much more important question: "What's really going on?" This conversation goes beyond ADHD symptoms. It's about the emotional cost of being missed, the lifelong impact of late diagnosis, and why curiosity from parents, teachers, and other trusted adults can change a girl's future. Whether you're a late-diagnosed woman with ADHD, parenting a neurodivergent child, working in education, or trying to better understand the girls in your life, this episode offers an honest conversation filled with insight, compassion, and hope. In this episode, we discuss: Why ADHD in girls is still frequently overlooked Puberty, perfectionism, and emotional dysregulation The hidden signs of ADHD in girls Friendship, masking, and growing up misunderstood How curiosity can change the trajectory of a young person's life What educators and parents can do differently Connect with Louise Belshaw If this conversation resonated with you, be sure to connect with Louise Belshaw. Louise is an ADHD life coach who specializes in supporting neurodivergent young people and is passionate about improving understanding of ADHD in girls and women through coaching, education, research, and advocacy. Learn more, connect with Louise, or follow her work here: 🌐 Website: Louise Belshaw The ADHD Teacher 💼 LinkedIn: Louise Belshaw The ADHD Teacher 📷 Instagram: Louise Belshaw The ADHD Teacher This is Part 1 of a two-part conversation with Louise Belshaw. Part 2 drops this Thursday, where the conversation shifts from the girls who were missed to what happens when those girls become women. Together, we explore late diagnosis, grief, anger, self-discovery, and what it means to finally understand yourself through an entirely different lens. If this episode reminds you of a girl who needed more understanding and fewer assumptions or someone who still does share it with them.

ADHD Women & Burnout | Why Rest Doesn't Make You Feel Better If you've ever taken a day off, slept all weekend, or gone on vacation only to come back feeling just as exhausted, this episode is for you. In this episode, Jess and Jeannine explore ADHD burnout in late-diagnosed women and why it feels so different from typical burnout. They discuss the invisible mental load of executive function, masking, emotional regulation, chronic stress, and why simply getting more sleep or taking a break often doesn't restore the kind of exhaustion many neurodivergent women experience. Together, they unpack why your brain can keep working long after your body has stopped, what happens when the coping strategies you've relied on for years suddenly stop working, and why so many women mistake ADHD burnout for laziness, aging, or simply "not trying hard enough." Whether you're feeling emotionally exhausted, overwhelmed by everyday responsibilities, or wondering why rest doesn't seem to help anymore, this conversation offers validation, language for what you're experiencing, and the reminder that you're not alone. In this episode, Jess & Jeannine discuss: The difference between physical burnout and ADHD burnout Why rest doesn't always make neurodivergent women feel better The invisible mental load of executive function and masking Why vacations and weekends often don't feel restorative Nervous system overload, fight-or-flight, and chronic exhaustion Why ADHD burnout can return more than once Learning to recognize burnout before your body forces you to stop Resources & Mentions Why Woo-Woo Works by David R. Hamilton Angry on the Inside is hosted by two late-diagnosed ADHD women sharing honest conversations about ADHD, autism, emotional health, executive function, and the realities of living in a world that wasn't designed for neurodivergent brains. These are perspectives, not prescriptions. #ADHD #ADHDWomen #ADHDBurnout #LateDiagnosedADHD #WomenWithADHD #ExecutiveFunction #Neurodivergent #MentalLoad #Burnout #AuDHD #AdultADHD #Masking #EmotionalRegulation #ADHDAwareness

Have you ever borrowed something with every intention of giving it back... only to find it months or years later? In this episode, Jess and Jeannine explore why borrowed books, favorite mugs, casserole dishes, tools, and even money can become surprisingly complicated for women with ADHD. What starts as good intentions often turns into forgotten items, overwhelming guilt, misunderstood relationships, and the feeling that you've accidentally let someone down. Together, they talk about executive function, time blindness, forgetfulness, object permanence, urgency, and why returning something is never as simple as it sounds. They also explore the emotional side of borrowing from the stories we tell ourselves after a late ADHD diagnosis to the grace we hope others will extend when our intentions don't match the outcome. If you've ever discovered someone else's belongings in your house years later, avoided returning something because you forgot where you put it, or wondered why "I'll do it later" somehow turned into never, this conversation is for you. In this episode, Jess & Jeannine discuss: Why ADHD women forget to return borrowed things Executive function, time blindness, and everyday forgetfulness Why urgency helps us borrow but not return Favorite objects, emotional attachment, and ADHD relationships Borrowing money, boundaries, and avoiding unnecessary conflict Learning to replace self-judgment with understanding after a late ADHD diagnosis If this episode made you think about someone you've borrowed from or someone who's still carrying around your favorite mug share it with them. Sometimes understanding each other is worth a lot more than whatever got left behind.

ADHD Women & Major Life Changes | Why Your Brain Needs Time to Catch Up Major life changes don't just affect your schedule, your relationships, or your environment. They also disrupt the invisible systems and routines your ADHD brain has spent years building. In this episode, Jess and Jeannine explore what happens when life changes but your brain is still operating from the old patterns, expectations, and shortcuts that once helped you navigate your day. Whether it's moving, divorce, becoming an empty nester, receiving an ADHD diagnosis later in life, or any transition that changes the shape of your world, your brain doesn't automatically update overnight. Together, they discuss why ADHD women often rely on routines they don't even realize they've created, how environmental memory influences daily life, and why transitions can leave us feeling frustrated, disoriented, and mentally drained. They also explore executive function, decision fatigue, mental bandwidth, and the hidden work involved in building a new normal. If you've ever found yourself wondering why a major life change seems to affect so many parts of your daily life, this conversation offers a different perspective on what may be happening beneath the surface. In this episode: • ADHD and major life transitions • The connection between change and executive function • Environmental memory and invisible support systems • Decision fatigue, mental bandwidth, and ADHD overwhelm • The hidden cost of starting over • Why your brain needs time to catch up Resource Mentioned: • The Grieving Brain by Mary-Frances O'Connor Until next time, remember: you're not alone, and you're not the only one who's angry on the inside. Chapters 00:00 ADHD Women & Major Life Changes: When Your Brain Is Still Using the Old Map 01:21 The Hidden Systems ADHD Women Build Without Realizing It 06:02 Why Grief Is More Than Sadness: Expectation vs. Reality 09:01 The Grieving Brain, ADHD, and Why Change Feels So Hard 13:16 Neural Pathways, Glimmers, and Letting Go of the Old Map 15:35 ADHD Autopilot, Executive Function & The Cost of Starting Over 20:06 Building a New Normal and Finding Your Way Forward

If you've ever thought ADHD coaching was just someone telling you to use a planner, create better routines, or finally get your life together, this episode is for you. In this episode, Jess and Jeannine unpack what women's ADHD coaching actually is, what it isn't, and why so many late-diagnosed ADHD women walk away confused when coaching, therapy, consulting, and mentorship get lumped together. They explore the difference between knowing what you're supposed to do and being able to do it, why self-awareness isn't always the same thing as self-connection, and how many ADHD women become experts at explaining themselves while remaining disconnected from what they're actually feeling and needing in the moment. Jess shares her own experience with coaching, the misconceptions she had before becoming a coach herself, and why coaching felt so different from the endless self-help advice, productivity systems, and "try harder" messages many ADHD women have spent decades hearing. Together, they discuss: • What ADHD coaching actually is • The differences between coaching, therapy, consulting, and mentorship • Why many late-diagnosed ADHD women struggle with hyper-independence • The gap between knowing and doing • ADHD over functioning and burnout • Shame, self-awareness, and self-trust • Why "try harder" is rarely the answer • How coaching can help you reconnect with yourself instead of trying to fix yourself Whether you're curious about ADHD coaching, considering working with a coach, or wondering why productivity advice never seems to stick, this conversation offers a candid look at what coaching can and cannot provide. Because knowing what to do has never been the problem. The real challenge is understanding what's getting in the way. 00:00 What Most People Get Wrong About ADHD Coaching 01:40 Why ADHD Women Already Know What They're “Supposed” To Do 03:15 Self-Awareness vs Self-Connection in ADHD 05:34 Therapy, ADHD Coaching, Consulting & Mentorship Explained 09:09 What ADHD Coaching Actually Is (And Isn't) 10:18 ADHD Overfunctioning, Burnout & The Shame Spiral 13:00 Why ADHD Coaching Can Feel Emotional

What makes ADHD friendships feel different? For many women with ADHD, friendship isn't about having a large social circle or talking every day. It's about finding people who understand overwhelm without needing an explanation, offer support without judgment, and provide perspective when self-doubt takes over. In this episode of Angry on the Inside, Jess and Jeannine explore why ADHD friendships often operate differently from traditional friendship expectations. They discuss hyper-independence, friendship wounds from childhood, rejection sensitivity, unrealistic ideas about friendship, and why many ADHD women struggle to ask for help even when they desperately need support. The conversation also dives into the unique strengths of ADHD friendships: the ability to reconnect after long periods of silence, the comfort of being understood without lengthy explanations, and the value of having someone who can remind you what is actually true when your inner critic takes over. If you've ever worried that it's been too long to text someone back, felt misunderstood by the people around you, or wondered why certain friendships feel so much easier than others, this episode is for you. In This Episode: Why ADHD friendships often feel different Hyper-independence and difficulty asking for help Friendship struggles and fitting in as a child The myth of "perfect" friendships Rejection sensitivity and friendship expectations The ebb and flow of ADHD relationships Understanding versus fixing Why validation matters The power of having a reality check when you're overwhelmed How ADHD friends help us feel less alone This podcast is not therapy, medical advice, or coaching. It is a space for honest conversations about life as women with late-diagnosed ADHD. Chapters 00:00 Why ADHD Friendships Feel Different 02:19 ADHD Hyper-Independence & Asking for Help 02:50 The Weird Kid Problem & Early Friendship Wounds 06:34 The Myth of Perfect Friendships 09:22 ADHD Friendships and the Ebb & Flow of Connection 10:19 RSD, Exclusion & The Horror Movie Example 13:19 Understanding Without Fixing 15:22 The Lighthouse in the Fog 16:20 Reality Checks, Perspective & Overwhelm 19:24 Validation, Toxic Positivity & "That Sucks"

What happens when moving isn't just stressful it completely overwhelms your brain? For many women with ADHD, moving is far more than packing boxes and changing addresses. It's a nonstop barrage of decisions, deadlines, disrupted routines, unexpected emotions, and executive function demands that can leave you exhausted long before the first box is unpacked. In this episode of Angry on the Inside, Jess and Jeannine explore why moving can feel so much harder for ADHD brains than anyone seems to understand. From time blindness and decision fatigue to emotional overwhelm, grief, and the loss of familiar routines, they share personal experiences of moves that left them physically, mentally, and emotionally depleted. You'll hear why the excitement of a fresh start can quickly turn into burnout, how losing your familiar environment impacts executive functioning, and why even positive life changes can trigger grief. Most importantly, you'll learn why struggling during a move is often a normal response to an extraordinarily demanding transition. Whether you're preparing for a move, unpacking from one, or simply trying to understand why major life transitions feel so overwhelming, this conversation offers validation, humor, and practical insight from two late-diagnosed ADHD women who have been there. In this episode: • Why moving creates executive function overload • ADHD time blindness and unrealistic moving timelines • The dopamine-fueled "fantasy phase" of moving • Decision fatigue, overwhelm, and ADHD paralysis • Why moving can trigger grief even when you're excited • The role of routines, familiarity, and environmental cues • How your brain rebuilds its "mental map" after a move • Body doubling, support systems, and giving yourself grace during transitions If this episode resonates with you, share it with another woman who is currently surrounded by boxes, second-guessing every decision, and wondering why moving feels so much harder than everyone else makes it look.