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Explore Mary’s Work: Website Substack Art In this episode we explore: What happens to our relationship with someone after they die? Does the connection disappear, or can love take on a different form? Mary Grisey is a visual artist, psychic medium, and trance channeler whose work explores intuition, spirituality, and the possibility of connection beyond the physical world. Her journey began with unusual experiences as a child, but it was the loss of her mother just five days after giving birth to her first daughter that profoundly changed her understanding of grief and the work she felt called to do. In this conversation, Mary joins Lily and Nick to share how that experience transformed her relationship with her mother, why she believes our loved ones remain connected to us, and how grief can sometimes open the door to forgiveness, healing, and a different understanding of ourselves. Lily also shares her own experiences following the loss of her mother, including moments involving birds that brought her an unexpected sense of comfort. Together, we explore the meaning we find in these experiences, the guilt and unfinished conversations that can follow a loss, and why being present with someone who is grieving can be more powerful than anything we could say. We also dive into Mary’s perspective on spirit guides, the intuitive abilities she believes we all possess, and her experiences exploring the possibilities of human consciousness. Ultimately, this conversation is about more than what happens after death. It’s about remembering who we are beneath our conditioning, reconnecting with the curiosity we had as children, and recognizing how love and loss can continue to shape the people we become. Timestamps 01:28 Mary’s childhood experiences with spirit and her grandmother 04:45 Becoming a mother and losing her own mother just five days later 08:20 How grief changed Mary’s relationship with her mother and opened the door to forgiveness 15:56 What Mary believes happens to spirits after death 22:01 How to support someone who is grieving without trying to fix their pain 28:43 Understanding spirit guides and why Mary believes they may be different versions of ourselves 33:15 A simple exercise Mary recommends for exploring signs and spiritual connection 36:36 Lily’s experience with birds and the comfort she felt after losing her mother 42:50 Mary’s experiences exploring psychic abilities and the potential of human consciousness 48:22 Reconnecting with your inner child and remembering who you were before the world shaped you Key Lessons In This Episode * Grief is deeply personal, and there is no single right way to experience it. Losing someone affects each of us differently. Our relationships, circumstances, beliefs, and support systems all shape how we move through loss. * Losing someone doesn’t necessarily mean losing your connection to them. Mary shares her belief that relationships can continue beyond physical death, while Lily reflects on the comfort she has found in experiences that remind her of her mother. * Grief can change the way we see someone we loved. After her mother’s passing, Mary found herself reflecting differently on their relationship. Without the same everyday conflicts and expectations, she describes discovering a deeper sense of compassion and forgiveness. * You don’t have to fix someone’s grief to help them. When someone is hurting, our instinct is often to find the perfect words or make them feel better. Mary reminds us that simply being there, listening, and allowing someone to feel their emotions can be far more meaningful. * Sometimes the most loving thing we can offer is our presence. Mary’s experience with her husband showed her the comfort of having someone who could sit beside her in the pain without trying to explain it away. * Loss can change what we believe is important. The conversation explores how easily we become attached to possessions, productivity, and the demands of everyday life, sometimes losing sight of the relationships and experiences that matter most. * The meaning of a sign can be deeply personal. Through stories about birds, butterflies, dreams, and unexpected moments, Mary and Lily explore experiences they interpret as connections with loved ones who have passed. * Our understanding of guidance can evolve as we grow. Mary describes her belief that spirit guides are not necessarily separate beings, but may represent other aspects or versions of ourselves that emerge when we need them. * Our beliefs influence what we’re willing to explore. Mary encourages curiosity and openness toward experiences that challenge our assumptions, while sharing how her own understanding of intuition and consciousness has changed over time. * The person you were as a child may hold clues to the person you’re meant to become. Before expectations, responsibilities, and social conditioning shaped our choices, we had natural interests and curiosities. Mary encourages looking back at those early parts of ourselves when we feel disconnected from our purpose. Meet Your Hosts: 📙Follow Nick and Lily on Substack 🪷 Explore The Relationships With A Soul Brand 💻Visit Nick’s Website 💻Visit Lily’s Website Enjoyed This Episode? You May Also Enjoy Help Grow The Podcast: Since this is a new podcast, I’d really appreciate your support. Here are three ways you can help grow the podcast: * Follow the Relationships With A Soul podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcasting platform * Share this episode with a friend who you think will find it valuable Get full access to The Human Edge at nickneve.substack.com/subscribe

Tune in with us on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, YouTube In this episode we explore: In this episode, Lily and Nick share what they’ve learned over eight years of navigating money together, from difficult conversations about debt to creating a financial plan that works for both of them. This episode explores why couples avoid talking about money, how financial shame and secrecy can quietly damage a relationship, and why understanding your partner’s history with money is just as important as understanding their financial situation today. We also share how we approached Lily’s student loan debt as a team, why we sit down together every month to review our budget, and how to discuss spending decisions without turning your partner into the enemy. How you can love someone deeply, have an incredible connection, and still struggle to build a healthy relationship if money is the one thing you can’t talk about. Money is about much more than what we earn or spend. It’s connected to our childhood experiences, our fears, our sense of security, and the trust we have in our partners. Yet for so many couples, talking about finances feels uncomfortable, threatening, or even impossible. Being willing to have the uncomfortable conversations is what allows you to build a life together. And we’ll show you how we learned how to do it effectively in this episode. Timestamps 00:15 Why talking about money is essential to a healthy relationship 03:11 How childhood experiences shape our fears and beliefs about money 06:00 The first money conversation every couple should have before moving in or getting married 08:20 Financial shame, hidden debt, and the danger of keeping secrets from your partner 13:22 Nick’s father’s lesson about credit cards, debt, and living within your means 21:02 How to discuss spending without blaming, controlling, or criticizing your partner 25:28 How we worked together to pay off Lily’s student loan debt 30:58 Financial transparency, monthly budgets, and knowing where your money goes 36:03 How hidden financial problems can destroy trust in a relationship 41:50 Why couples need to plan for emergencies, unexpected expenses, and the future Key Lessons In This Episode * Money problems aren’t always about money. The way we communicate about finances can reveal deeper issues around trust, security, shame, control, and our ability to be vulnerable with one another. * Your relationship with money began long before your romantic relationship. What you witnessed growing up, whether it was financial stress, scarcity, secrecy, or security, can influence how you respond to money as an adult. Understanding those experiences can help you better understand each other. * Avoiding money conversations doesn’t protect your relationship. It may prevent an uncomfortable discussion today, but unresolved financial concerns can eventually show up as resentment, defensiveness, anxiety, or a loss of trust. * The first conversation shouldn’t necessarily be about numbers. Before discussing budgets and bank accounts, ask each other what money was like growing up. Understanding where your partner’s fears and beliefs come from can create more compassion and less judgment. * Financial honesty needs to happen before major commitments. If you’re planning to move in together, get married, or build a future with someone, it’s important to understand each other’s income, debt, spending habits, and financial expectations. * Debt has an emotional cost, not just a financial one. Beyond interest payments and monthly obligations, debt can create stress that affects how we feel, communicate, and show up in our relationships. * You’re supposed to be teammates, not opponents. When one person wants to spend money and the other has concerns, the goal shouldn’t be to win the argument. It should be to understand each other’s priorities and find a solution that supports the relationship. * A financial problem becomes easier to face when you have a plan. When Lily and Nick addressed Lily’s student loan debt, they focused on what they could do together instead of assigning blame. Their experience shows how honesty, patience, and a shared goal can turn a difficult situation into an opportunity to build trust. * Talking about money isn’t a one-time conversation. Financial circumstances change throughout a relationship. Regular budget discussions, transparency around spending, and a willingness to revisit financial decisions help couples stay connected and informed. * A healthy relationship requires preparing for conversations you’d rather avoid. Whether it’s debt, unexpected expenses, children, or what happens if one partner dies, planning for difficult possibilities is part of caring for each other and protecting the life you’re building together. Meet Your Hosts: 📙Follow Nick and Lily on Substack 🪷 Explore The Relationships With A Soul Brand Enjoyed This Episode? You May Also Enjoy Help Grow The Podcast: Since this is a new podcast, I’d really appreciate your support. Here are three ways you can help grow the podcast: * Follow the Relationships With A Soul podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcasting platform * Share this episode with a friend who you think will find it valuable Get full access to The Human Edge at nickneve.substack.com/subscribe

Today’s Guest: Shiva Rose Shiva Rose is an author, wellness advocate, and founder of The Local Rose. Through her work in natural beauty, holistic wellness, and spirituality, she inspires others to reconnect with their intuition, embrace a more intentional way of living, and cultivate a deeper relationship with themselves. Explore Shiva’s Work: Website Substack Instagram In this episode we explore: What happens when you stop living according to what you’re supposed to do and start asking what you actually want. Shiva Rose joins Lily and Nick to share the extraordinary journey that took her from Hollywood to a life centered around healing, nature, spirituality, and the feminine. After being diagnosed with multiple autoimmune conditions in her twenties and being told she had just a year to live, Shiva began questioning everything she thought she knew about health and wellness. The founder of The Local Rose, creator of a natural beauty line, and author of Whole Beauty, Shiva shares her personal experiences with holistic healing, the importance of listening to her intuition, and why she believes our bodies and emotions deserve more attention than we often give them. But this conversation goes well beyond physical health. We explore the pressure to constantly achieve, why traditional ideas of productivity don’t work for everyone, and the difference between chasing temporary pleasure and creating lasting joy. We also talk about faith, community, staying connected to our humanity in an increasingly technological world, and what it means to build a life you genuinely love before looking for someone else to share it with. Timestamps 00:49 Trusting your intuition and reconnecting with your inner knowing 02:31 Shiva’s autoimmune diagnoses and the prognosis that changed her life 08:38 Exploring the relationship between emotional experiences and physical symptoms 11:27 Learning to listen to your body and rethinking our relationship with pain 16:55 Finding a place for both conventional medicine and holistic approaches 19:08 Feminine energy, hustle culture, and working in a way that feels natural 23:37 What kind of life do you really want to live? 28:45 Health, community, faith, and what will matter most in the next ten years 35:46 Why building a relationship with yourself comes before finding a partner 39:48 Remembering what it feels like to truly feel good in your body Key Lessons In This Episode * Intuition is something we can learn to reconnect with. Shiva believes we’re born with an innate sense of knowing, but years of conditioning, expectations, and outside influences can make it difficult to hear. * A difficult experience can change the direction of your entire life. Shiva’s frightening health diagnoses led her to question conventional assumptions and begin a decades-long exploration of wellness, spirituality, and self-understanding. * Healing isn’t always a linear process. Shiva describes her health journey as peeling back the layers of an onion, continually learning, adjusting, and discovering new things about herself. * Listening to yourself means paying attention to more than your thoughts. Shiva explores how she reflects on emotional experiences alongside physical symptoms, seeing self-awareness as an important part of her personal approach to well-being. * Different approaches to health don’t necessarily have to be mutually exclusive. Although Shiva has explored many traditional and alternative practices, she also acknowledges the importance of modern medicine and lifesaving interventions. * Productivity doesn’t have to look the same for everyone. Shiva describes finding greater creativity and fulfillment through a flexible, intuitive approach to work rather than forcing herself into a rigid schedule. * Success means very little if you don’t enjoy the life you’re creating. Instead of measuring everything through money, achievement, or external expectations, Shiva encourages asking what you want your actual days to feel like. * Pleasure and joy are not the same thing. Temporary pleasures can provide immediate gratification, but Shiva reflects on the deeper, more lasting fulfillment that comes from meaningful experiences, connection, and living in alignment with your values. * Community, faith, and human connection are forms of resilience. As technology changes the world around us, Shiva believes our health, relationships, practical skills, and willingness to support one another will become increasingly important. * The relationship you have with yourself shapes the love you allow into your life. After her divorce, Shiva discovered that learning to enjoy her own company and becoming her own partner changed the way she approached romantic relationships. Meet Your Hosts: 📙Follow Nick and Lily on Substack 🪷 Explore The Relationships With A Soul Brand 💻Visit Nick’s Website 💻Visit Lily’s Website Enjoyed This Episode? You May Also Enjoy Help Grow The Podcast: Since this is a new podcast, I’d really appreciate your support. Here are three ways you can help grow the podcast: * Follow the Relationships With A Soul podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcasting platform * Share this episode with a friend who you think will find it valuable Get full access to The Human Edge at nickneve.substack.com/subscribe

Candace O’Neal is the founder of Beyond the Veil Tarot & Astrology and has spent nearly two decades studying astrology and tarot. Her work spans evolutionary and predictive astrology, tarot, clairvoyance, mediumship, and the Akashic Records. Through private readings, courses, and her YouTube channel, Candace helps people explore the deeper patterns, timing, and choices shaping their lives and relationships. More About Candace: Website Youtube In this episode we explore: Whether certain people are destined to enter our lives, and why a meaningful relationship isn’t necessarily one that’s meant to last. Astrologer and intuitive Candace Marie O’Neal joins us to explore soulmates, karmic relationships, repeating romantic patterns, compatibility, intuition, and the complicated relationship between fate and free will. Candace also explains how she uses astrology to understand relationship dynamics, why we can find ourselves attracted to the same type of person again and again, and why what we’re drawn to isn’t always the same as what’s actually compatible with us. We also talk about the difference between intuition and anxiety, what happens when technology and instant gratification begin shaping the way we approach love, and Candace’s belief that relationships aren’t here to complete us. They’re here to reveal us. Timestamps 00:02 Candace’s journey into astrology, tarot, and intuitive work07:44 Are certain people destined to meet?13:09 What astrology can reveal about compatibility between two people16:33 Why timing can matter so much in relationships21:29 Why we keep attracting the same type of partner24:28 Venus retrograde and revisiting old relationship patterns35:20 Fate vs. free will: how much control do we actually have?39:49 How to tell intuition from fear and anxiety43:14 How instant gratification is changing relationships and intimacy52:13 What our relationships may ultimately be here to teach us Key Lessons In This Episode * A meaningful relationship doesn’t necessarily have to last forever. Candace believes some people can be significant precisely because of what the relationship awakens, changes, or teaches us. * There may be more than one soulmate in a lifetime. In Candace’s view, soulmates aren’t limited to romantic partners. Friends, family members, mentors, and even animals can become deeply significant relationships in our lives. * Chemistry and compatibility aren’t necessarily the same thing. We can feel intensely attracted to certain qualities while discovering that those same qualities don’t create the kind of relationship we actually need. * Awareness doesn’t necessarily erase our patterns, but it can change how we live them. Recognizing what we’re repeatedly drawn toward gives us an opportunity to choose healthier expressions of those patterns. * Timing can change the way a relationship unfolds. Sometimes forcing something before we’re ready creates resistance, while the same connection may unfold very differently at another point in our lives. * Astrology can be approached as information rather than destiny. Candace describes it as a way of understanding conditions, themes, and timing while still leaving room for individual choice. * Intuition tends to feel different from fear. Candace describes intuition as quiet, specific, and repetitive without drama, while anxiety tends to be louder, more urgent, and focused on worst-case scenarios. * Instant gratification may be changing what we’re willing to invest in relationships. When we’re accustomed to getting almost everything immediately, slowing down long enough to truly know another person can become increasingly difficult. * Understanding someone can change the way we experience conflict with them. Instead of immediately trying to fix another person, change them, or end the relationship, understanding the dynamic can reveal possibilities we couldn’t see before. * Relationships aren’t necessarily here to complete us. They can reveal us. One of Candace’s central ideas is that relationships expose blind spots, wounds, patterns, and possibilities for growth, making love part of the process of becoming who we are. Meet Your Hosts: 📙Follow Nick and Lily on Substack 🪷 Explore The Relationships With A Soul Brand 💻Visit Nick’s Website 💻Visit Lily’s Website Enjoyed This Episode? You May Also Enjoy Help Grow The Podcast: Since this is a new podcast, I’d really appreciate your support. Here are three ways you can help grow the podcast: * Follow the Relationships With A Soul podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcasting platform * Share this episode with a friend who you think will find it valuable Get full access to The Human Edge at nickneve.substack.com/subscribe

Today’s Guest: Remington Donovan Remington Donovan is a Master Numerologist, Mystic, author, and spiritual advisor with more than 30 years of experience studying and teaching the mystical arts. Raised within a yogic tradition, his lifelong spiritual path has taken him through tarot, numerology, astrology, meditation, and Western mysticism. Today, Remington helps others use these ancient tools not simply for prediction, but as a way to deepen their spiritual practice, understand themselves, and connect more fully with the path their soul is calling them toward. More About Remington: Website Instagram Episode Description In this episode we explore: What does it actually mean to be spiritual in a world where ancient teachings, tarot, astrology, and mystical practices have become more accessible than ever? Author, spiritual advisor, master numerologist, and tarot reader Remington Donovan joins us to explore the difference between being interested in spirituality and actually living a spiritual life. Drawing from a lifetime immersed in yogic traditions and Western mysticism, Remington shares why he believes authentic spiritual development requires practice, discipline, teachers, and a willingness to confront the parts of ourselves we would rather avoid. We also explore marriage as a spiritual practice, the tension between the ego and the soul, and Remington’s deeply personal experience of reaching one of the darkest periods of his life and finding his way back through surrender, prayer, meditation, and the practices he had known since childhood. Later, we go deeper into tarot, free will, angel numbers, and the responsibility that comes with interpreting spiritual tools for other people. Ultimately, this conversation is about moving beyond prediction and spiritual phenomena and using these practices for what Remington believes they are really meant to do: help us understand ourselves, take action, and develop a deeper relationship with the soul. Episode Timestamps * 01:45 — Remington’s lifelong journey into mysticism and spiritual practice * 06:45 — Ancient teachings, modern spirituality, and the importance of real teachers * 15:38 — How to begin an authentic spiritual practice * 21:34 — Why spirituality has to extend into everyday life * 28:48 — Marriage as a spiritual practice and a path for growth * 30:01 — Remington’s experience with suicidal ideation and the moment that interrupted it * 33:35 — Surrendering to a new life and reconnecting with his spiritual path * 40:10 — What people misunderstand about tarot * 50:07 — Why spiritual guidance should give you a path of action, not a fixed fate * 01:00:57 — Angel numbers, synchronicities, and how Remington interprets signs Key Lessons In This Episode * Spirituality requires practice. Remington makes a distinction between identifying as spiritual and regularly doing something that connects you with what he calls the infinite soul. * Access to spiritual information isn’t the same as spiritual development. Ancient teachings are more accessible than ever, but Remington believes information without discipline, practice, or guidance can easily become diluted. * A good teacher won’t always tell you what you want to hear. Part of a teacher’s role can be helping us recognize the ego, resistance, and blind spots that are difficult to see on our own. * Spirituality includes the ordinary parts of life. Resentment, frustration, control, relationships, work, and even seemingly insignificant reactions can reveal where our deeper inner work remains. * Marriage can become a spiritual practice. Remington describes marriage as a discipline through which unresolved issues surface, giving both partners opportunities to understand themselves and evolve together. * Sometimes surrender begins when our plans fall apart. Remington describes reaching a profound low point and eventually recognizing a conflict between what his ego wanted his life to become and what he felt his soul was calling him toward. * Mystical experiences aren’t supposed to become the goal. Remington cautions against chasing psychic phenomena or spiritual experiences for their own sake, arguing that they can become another distraction from genuine growth. * Tarot can be approached as a tool for self-understanding rather than fortune-telling. In Remington’s tradition, tarot can illuminate fears, possibilities, trajectories, and obstacles rather than simply declaring what will happen. * Spiritual guidance shouldn’t take away your agency. Remington believes a reading should leave someone with a path of action rather than convincing them their future has already been written in stone. * Signs are most useful when they lead to awareness or action. In discussing angel numbers, Remington cautions against allowing numbers to rule our decisions. Instead, he describes them as messages that may help us notice a direction, opportunity, or something we have been avoiding. Meet Your Hosts: 📙Follow Nick and Lily on Substack 🪷 Explore The Relationships With A Soul Brand 💻Visit Nick’s Website 💻Visit Lily’s Website Enjoyed This Episode? You May Also Enjoy Help Grow The Podcast: Since this is a new podcast, I’d really appreciate your support. Here are three ways you can help grow the podcast: * Follow the Relationships With A Soul podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcasting platform * Share this episode with a friend who you think will find it valuable Get full access to The Human Edge at nickneve.substack.com/subscribe

Today’s Guest: Unique Hammond Unique Hammond is a nutrition educator, integrative health coach, author, and host of the You’re Great podcast. After years of struggling with chronic illness and Crohn’s disease, her own healing journey led her to explore the connection between food, gut health, and the body’s ability to heal. Today, she is best known for her work with the Bean Protocol and for helping others take a more intentional, individualized approach to their health. She is also the author of Your Taste Buds Are A******s. Follow Unique On Substack and Instagram Visit Unique’s Website In this episode: After years of debilitating symptoms from Crohn’s disease, nutrition educator and integrative health coach Unique Hammond reached a point where she felt she had tried almost everything. Then a friend unexpectedly dropped off a book that introduced her to the approach that would eventually become known as the Bean Protocol. Unique joins us to share the story of her recovery and what the experience taught her about food, gut health, self-trust, and taking responsibility for our own well-being. We explore why she believes soluble fiber can play such an important role in health, why feeling better can completely change our definition of “restriction,” and what happens when we stop accepting symptoms simply because they’ve become normal. We also talk about the deeper emotional side of caring for ourselves, including learning to honor what our bodies need even when other people don’t understand, resisting the urge to abandon healthy habits once we feel better, and how Unique continued showing up for herself after losing her home in the Palisades fire. Ultimately, this is a conversation about developing a relationship with your body built on attention, responsibility, and trust. Episode Timestamps * 01:25 — Unique’s journey from Crohn’s symptoms to debilitating illness * 05:38 — The unexpected book that introduced her to the Bean Protocol * 15:01 — Is eating this way really “restrictive”? * 19:29 — Why she called her book Your Taste Buds Are A******s * 25:27 — Learning to listen to your body instead of other people’s opinions * 36:05 — Menopause, aging, fiber, and long-term health * 38:03 — Why Unique believes soluble fiber is so important * 43:58 — Losing her home and choosing not to abandon herself in grief * 49:45 — Building self-trust when other people don’t understand your choices * 57:30 — How to prioritize healthy food when you’re on a budget Key Lessons In This Episode * What we consider “normal” isn’t necessarily healthy. Symptoms can become so familiar that we stop questioning whether we should be experiencing them at all. Unique describes spending years explaining away signs that something was wrong before her health deteriorated dramatically. * Restriction looks different when you know how good your body is capable of feeling. Giving up a food may initially feel limiting, but Unique reframes restriction as being unable to live fully because of the consequences of eating something your body doesn’t tolerate. * Taking responsibility for your health doesn’t mean rejecting medicine. Unique speaks positively about having conventional medicine available to her while also realizing that sleep, nutrition, and daily habits were parts of her health she needed to take responsibility for herself. * Food is more than pleasure. Unique encourages thinking about meals as an opportunity to provide the body with the materials it needs to function, repair itself, and support long-term health. * Feeling better can reveal how poorly you were feeling before. We can become accustomed to living below our potential because we have no reference point for anything different. Sometimes it’s only after changing something that we realize another way of feeling was possible. * Getting better is only part of the challenge. Staying committed matters too. Unique sees people improve and then return to the habits that weren’t serving them once the immediate symptoms disappear. * Self-care sometimes requires being willing to disappoint other people. Learning to honor what your body needs can mean eating differently, saying no, or appearing “high maintenance” without feeling obligated to justify yourself. * Real self-trust is built through action. Unique describes keeping her healing process private initially because she knew other people’s judgment could derail her. Over time, following through for herself helped her develop a much stronger internal sense of confidence. * Hard moments reveal whether our healthy habits have become genuine self-care. After losing her home in the Palisades fire, Unique recognized an old impulse to use grief as permission to abandon herself and made a conscious decision to care for herself instead. * Healthy eating doesn’t have to require perfect or expensive food. Unique encourages buying higher-quality ingredients when possible, while emphasizing that people can still make meaningful nutritional changes using affordable options such as frozen foods rather than believing health is only accessible to those who can afford the most expensive ingredients. Meet Your Hosts: 📙Follow Nick and Lily on Substack 🪷 Explore The Relationships With A Soul Brand 💻Visit Nick’s Website 💻Visit Lily’s Website Enjoyed This Episode? You May Also Enjoy Help Grow The Podcast: Since this is a new podcast, I’d really appreciate your support. Here are three ways you can help grow the podcast: * Follow the Relationships With A Soul podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcasting platform * Share this episode with a friend who you think will find it valuable Get full access to The Human Edge at nickneve.substack.com/subscribe

Today’s Guest: Darcy Dudeck Darcy Dudek is a writer, coach, and creator of the Collective Healing Project. After years of trauma left her struggling with PTSD and unable to trust, Darcy embarked on a healing journey that transformed her life. In this episode, she shares her story and the practices, perspectives, and inner work that helped her move through it all. Darcy's Website Visit Darcy's Substack In this episode: What if healing isn’t simply about getting back to who you were before, but becoming someone you never could have been without the journey? Writer and coach Darcy Dudek joins us to share her experience recovering from PTSD and rebuilding the trust she lost after years of difficult experiences. We explore why healing involves more than changing our thoughts, how unresolved emotions can continue influencing the nervous system, and why there may not be one single modality or path that works for everyone. Darcy also challenges some popular ideas about manifestation, including the belief that positive thinking, affirmations, or “raising your vibration” are enough to create the life you want. We discuss the connection between healing and manifestation, why action matters, the fear of choosing the wrong path, authenticity in the age of AI, and what can happen when we stop searching outside ourselves for answers and become willing to go within. Episode Timestamps * 01:31 — How trauma changed Darcy’s ability to trust * 05:32 — Why talking alone wasn’t enough for her healing * 15:13 — What Darcy wishes she’d known at the beginning of her PTSD recovery * 23:28 — Why there may not be one modality that “fixes” us * 31:28 — The connection between suppressed emotions, healing, and manifestation * 40:51 — Why positive thinking can become emotional bypassing * 51:18 — What manifestation actually looks like in practice * 57:13 — Why there may be no such thing as the “wrong path” * 01:00:47 — AI, creativity, and the struggle to remain authentic * 01:10:13 — Why doing nothing and going within can be so powerful Key Lessons In This Episode * Healing isn’t necessarily about returning to the person you were before. Darcy describes recovery as a process that ultimately changed how she relates to herself, other people, and life itself. * Understanding an emotion intellectually isn’t the same as processing it. Healing can involve the mind and the body, and Darcy’s experience taught her that talking about what happened didn’t always bring buried emotions to the surface. * Progress can change your relationship with difficult thoughts without eliminating them entirely. A thought that once consumed you for days or weeks may eventually become something you recognize and release much more quickly. * There may not be one method that works for everyone. Darcy explored talk therapy alongside practices such as yoga, meditation, breathwork, somatic approaches, and other modalities, ultimately viewing healing as an individualized process rather than a universal formula. * Trying to feel positive all the time can become another form of avoidance. Difficult emotions aren’t necessarily something to immediately eliminate. They can contain information about what still needs our attention. * Healing and creating a different life are deeply connected. Darcy’s approach to manifestation isn’t simply about affirmations or positive thoughts. She believes we also have to examine the fears, beliefs, emotional patterns, and unresolved experiences that may be keeping us from moving forward. * Intention still requires action. You can envision a different life, but creating it means taking steps toward it, even when you can’t see the entire path or know exactly how things will unfold. * The path doesn’t have to be linear to be meaningful. A detour or difficult chapter doesn’t automatically mean you’ve made the wrong decision. Sometimes an experience teaches you something you need before you’re ready for what comes next. * Authenticity requires trusting your own voice. Whether we’re looking to influencers, technology, or other external sources to tell us what to think and create, constantly outsourcing ourselves can disconnect us from our own intuition and creativity. * Going inward can reveal what constant stimulation keeps hidden. Silence, meditation, and simply sitting with ourselves may seem unproductive, but they can create the space for insights and solutions that are difficult to hear when we’re constantly distracted. Meet Your Hosts: 📙Follow Nick and Lily on Substack 🪷 Explore The Relationships With A Soul Brand 💻Visit Nick’s Website 💻Visit Lily’s Website Enjoyed This Episode? You May Also Enjoy Help Grow The Podcast: Since this is a new podcast, I’d really appreciate your support. Here are three ways you can help grow the podcast: * Follow the Relationships With A Soul podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcasting platform * Share this episode with a friend who you think will find it valuable Get full access to The Human Edge at nickneve.substack.com/subscribe

Relationships With A Soul Podcast Episode 60 Today’s Guest: Anna Drabik Anna Drabik is a writer with a background in psychology and design strategy, and the creator of Project Love, her Substack publication exploring the psychology of relationships and the patterns we bring into love. She is also the co-author of A Love Plan, a relationship workbook she created with her fiancé to help couples have deeper, more intentional conversations. Through both her work and personal experiences, Anna explores what makes relationships healthy and sustainable, with a particular focus on self-awareness, emotional openness, curiosity, shared values, and continuing to nurture a relationship as both partners grow and change. Visit Anna’s Website Check out Anna’s Substack In This episode: Most of us spend years learning how to succeed in school, work, and life, yet we’re rarely taught how to build and maintain a healthy relationship. Writer and Project Love creator Anna Drabik joins us to explore the relationship skills many of us are left to figure out on our own. We discuss the patterns we bring into dating, how our earliest relationships can shape who we’re drawn to, emotional availability and vulnerability, and why chemistry alone isn’t enough to create lasting compatibility. We also explore what happens after the honeymoon phase ends, why curiosity matters in long-term love, and how healthy relationships require continued attention from both partners rather than simply taking care of themselves. Ultimately, this conversation is about learning to approach relationships differently: understanding ourselves more deeply, choosing partners more consciously, communicating more openly, and continuing to nurture love as both people grow and change. Episode Timestamps * 01:18 — Why we were never taught how to have healthy relationships * 08:50 — Approaching dating with curiosity instead of dread * 12:54 — Why we keep dating the same person in a different body * 22:24 — Breaking patterns of emotional unavailability * 25:42 — Masculinity, vulnerability, and emotional maturity * 37:05 — What happens when the honeymoon phase ends * 43:30 — Why healthy relationships require ongoing effort * 52:29 — How seeing healthy love changes what we believe is possible * 01:01:15 — Lust, chemistry, compatibility, and lasting love * 01:13:28 — Intentionally building and taking inventory of your relationship Key Lessons In This Episode * Healthy relationships require skills most of us were never explicitly taught. Love isn’t simply something we’re supposed to instinctively know how to navigate. * Curiosity keeps relationships alive. Our partners continue changing and evolving, and believing we already know everything about them can slowly create distance. * Our dating patterns can reveal what still needs our attention. Growth doesn’t always mean never encountering the same dynamic again. Sometimes it means recognizing it sooner and responding differently. * Another person’s behavior isn’t always a reflection of your worth. Relationships can teach us about ourselves without requiring us to blame ourselves for another person’s emotional unavailability or choices. * Vulnerability is a relationship strength. Emotional openness and honesty allow both partners to know and love one another more fully rather than maintaining versions of themselves they believe the other person wants. * Falling in love and building love are different things. Our culture romanticizes attraction, pursuit, and the honeymoon phase while showing us far less about what happens during the years that follow. * A relationship doesn’t maintain itself once commitment is established. Just as we continuously care for our physical health and other important areas of our lives, connection requires consistent attention. * Healthy relationship effort has to come from both people. One partner cannot sustain connection alone. Both people have to remain committed to nurturing what they’ve built. * Chemistry isn’t the same as compatibility. Attraction and excitement matter, but shared values, communication, honesty, emotional availability, and the ability to navigate difficult conversations create the foundation for lasting partnership. * Relationships deserve intentional reflection. Regularly asking whether you’re still aligned, connected, and creating the relationship you both want can lead to conversations that might otherwise never happen. Meet Your Hosts: 📙Follow Nick and Lily on Substack 🪷 Explore The Relationships With A Soul Brand 💻Visit Nick’s Website 💻Visit Lily’s Website Enjoyed This Episode? You May Also Enjoy Help Grow The Podcast: Since this is a new podcast, I’d really appreciate your support. Here are three ways you can help grow the podcast: * Follow the Relationships With A Soul podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcasting platform * Share this episode with a friend who you think will find it valuable Get full access to The Human Edge at nickneve.substack.com/subscribe

TODAY’S GUEST: COLIN DURRANT Visit Colin’s Website Follow Colin On Substack In this episode we explore: What happens when a life that looks successful from the outside doesn’t actually feel good on the inside? Colin Durrant joins us to share his journey from relentless achievement, depression, and survival mode toward greater self-awareness, purpose, gratitude, and peace. We explore the trap of constantly chasing more, the role of distraction in keeping us disconnected from ourselves, the importance of questioning our thoughts and patterns, and what Colin’s experiences in Zambia taught him about community, fulfillment, and the way we live in Western culture. Ultimately, the conversation asks a powerful question: what would change if we stopped building our lives around what we think we should want and started creating lives we actually love? Episode Timestamps * 00:02:49 — When achievement doesn’t actually feel like success * 00:10:20 — How to recognize when you’re living in survival mode * 00:17:48 — Self-awareness, burnout, and learning to pause * 00:23:15 — Asking better questions and finding the lesson in your patterns * 00:29:32 — Colin’s work in Zambia and discovering a different way of living * 00:37:10 — Understanding depression through powerlessness and personal responsibility * 00:43:42 — Questioning the stories your mind creates * 00:49:47 — How complaining and victimhood can keep us stuck * 00:57:37 — Gratitude, relationships, and what Western culture can learn from community * 01:06:00 — Healing relationships, owning the past, and choosing gratitude over loss 📙Follow Nick and Lily on Substack 🪷 Explore The Relationships With A Soul Brand 💻Visit Nick’s Website 💻Visit Lily’s Website Key Lessons In This Episode * Achievement and fulfillment are not the same thing. Constantly moving the goalpost can make even significant accomplishments feel insignificant when you never stop long enough to appreciate them. * A meaningful life doesn’t necessarily require more money. Instead of assuming money is the pathway to what you want, identify the experience, connection, or lifestyle you actually desire and look for ways to move toward it directly. * Survival mode makes it difficult to see beyond yourself. When all of your energy is focused on getting through the next day, empathy, connection, reflection, and intentional living can easily disappear. * Slowing down creates the space needed for self-awareness. Asking yourself what you’re doing, why you’re doing it, and whether you actually want the life you’re building can interrupt years of operating on autopilot. * Purpose can be a more meaningful measure of success than productivity. Fulfillment comes from discovering what matters to you and creating a lifestyle that allows you to spend more time doing it. * Patterns can become opportunities for self-inquiry. Instead of remaining stuck in regret when something goes wrong, ask what the experience can teach you and how you can respond differently the next time. * Distraction can keep us separated from the lives we actually want. Entertainment, work, technology, and other forms of stimulation can become ways of quieting ourselves rather than confronting what needs our attention. * Your thoughts do not automatically represent reality. Learning to notice the stories your mind creates—and questioning them before reacting—can dramatically change your emotional experience. * Community and connection offer something individual achievement cannot. Colin’s experiences in Zambia challenged assumptions about wealth and happiness by showing how deeply people can benefit from belonging, mutual support, and shared responsibility. * Transformation changes how you relate to the people and beings around you. Colin’s ability to take responsibility with his son and experience the death of his dog through gratitude rather than only loss reflects how inner change can reshape our relationships, grief, and experience of life. Enjoyed This Episode? You May Also Enjoy Help Grow The Podcast: Since this is a new podcast, I’d really appreciate your support. Here are three ways you can help grow the podcast: * Follow the Relationships With A Soul podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcasting platform * Share this episode with a friend who you think will find it valuable Get full access to The Human Edge at nickneve.substack.com/subscribe

Relationships with a Soul Episode 58 Episode Description Have you ever found yourself leaving one relationship, only to end up in the exact same dynamic with someone completely different? Why do some relationships feel intensely exciting at first but slowly become painful? And why can becoming more self-aware sometimes make it harder—not easier—to choose yourself? In this episode of Relationships with a Soul, Nick and Lily sit down with health and wellness coach Severine Keimig The Age of Authenticity to explore the unconscious patterns that quietly shape our relationships. Together, they examine why our nervous system often chooses what feels familiar instead of what is actually healthy, how we confuse chemistry with genuine compatibility, and what it truly means to build a relationship from authenticity instead of performance. Throughout the conversation, they discuss self-abandonment, people-pleasing, emotional availability, healthy communication, and why so many of us continue repeating the same relationship patterns until we become willing to look inward. They also share practical ways to begin choosing yourself without guilt, creating healthier boundaries, and developing deeper emotional intimacy with the people you love. Whether you’re currently dating, healing from a past relationship, or hoping to strengthen an existing partnership, this conversation offers a thoughtful reminder that the quality of our relationships often reflects the relationship we’ve built with ourselves. In This Episode We Explore 00:00 — Why You Keep Dating the Same Person in a Different Body 06:34 — The Difference Between Chemistry, Dopamine, and Real Love 08:06 — Has Modern Dating Made Authentic Connection Harder Than Ever? 11:18 — What a Decade as a Fashion Model Taught Severine About Identity and Validation 13:26 — It’s Never Too Late to Discover Who You Really Are 16:10 — Why Self-Awareness Alone Rarely Changes Your Relationships 20:57 — The Hidden Moment Self-Awareness Becomes Self-Abandonment 25:25 — How to Choose Yourself Without Feeling Guilty 28:54 — Why Discomfort Is Often Proof You’re Growing 31:03 — The Relationship Habit That’s Quietly Disconnecting Millions of Couples 35:45 — Are You Performing Love... or Living Authentically? 39:24 — Stop Trying to Change Your Partner—Try This Instead 42:17 — The Secret to Having Hard Conversations Without Starting a Fight 45:26 — The First Step to Breaking Every Relationship Pattern You’ve Repeated 49:18 — Coming Next: Two Life-Changing Meditation Retreats (Dr. Joe Dispenza & Vipassana) 📙Follow Nick and Lily on Substack 🪷 Explore The Relationships With A Soul Brand 💻Visit Nick’s Website 💻Visit Lily’s Website Key Takeaways From This Episode * Our nervous system often mistakes familiarity for safety, causing us to repeat relationship patterns without realizing it. * Strong chemistry doesn’t always indicate compatibility. Sometimes it simply reflects emotional familiarity. * Self-awareness is only the beginning; meaningful change requires consistent action. * Healthy relationships require honest communication about needs, values, and boundaries from the very beginning. * Choosing yourself isn’t selfish—it creates stronger, more authentic relationships. * People-pleasing often feels loving in the short term but quietly leads to resentment over time. * Presence creates intimacy far more effectively than simply spending time together. * Genuine connection feels calm, grounded, and consistent rather than urgent or emotionally chaotic. * Your partner cannot meet needs you’ve never communicated. * Every relationship offers an opportunity to better understand yourself and grow. Reflection Questions * Do you tend to choose relationships that feel familiar or relationships that actually feel safe? * Have you ever mistaken emotional intensity or chemistry for genuine compatibility? * Where in your life might self-awareness still need to become action? * Are you showing up authentically in your relationships, or are you performing to gain approval? * What difficult conversation have you been postponing because you’re afraid of how the other person might respond? Favorite Quotes “We’re choosing what’s familiar, not necessarily what’s safe.” “Self-awareness without action keeps us trapped in the same loop.” “Real connection brings clarity, calm, and consistency.” “Performance is external validation. Alignment is internal truth.” “You can always choose differently.” Enjoyed This Episode? You May Also Enjoy Help Grow The Podcast: Since this is a new podcast, I’d really appreciate your support. Here are three ways you can help grow the podcast: * Follow the Relationships With A Soul podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcasting platform * Share this episode with a friend who you think will find it valuable Get full access to The Human Edge at nickneve.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode of Relationships with a Soul, we explore one of the most difficult—and common—experiences in relationships: supporting someone you love through a dark period in their life. Whether it’s depression, grief, anxiety, or feeling stuck in a negative spiral, most of us want to help—but often end up making things worse without realizing it. We break down the subtle ways support can turn into pressure, control, or frustration—and what to do instead. From understanding the fear behind our reactions to learning how to truly “hold space,” this episode offers a grounded, practical framework for showing up in a way that actually helps. We also explore the harder truth: sometimes, despite doing everything right, a relationship may not repair—and what it looks like to honor yourself in those moments. If you’ve ever felt helpless watching someone you love struggle, this episode will give you clarity, direction, and a deeper understanding of what real support looks like. In This Episode We Explore: * 00:00 — Introduction: Supporting someone through a dark period * 02:00 — Why frustration and “tough love” often backfire * 06:14 — Normalizing emotions and letting people be where they are * 09:04 — Why control and advice don’t actually help * 10:28 — Asking supportive questions instead of trying to fix * 14:07 — The importance of validating emotions * 18:05 — Holding space vs trying to rescue someone * 24:32 — Not taking your partner’s emotional state personally * 28:01 — Letting people choose what they need to feel better * 41:04 — When to stay, set boundaries, or walk away 📙Follow Nick and Lily on Substack 🪷 Explore The Relationships With A Soul Brand 💻Visit Nick’s Website 💻Visit Lily’s Website Key Takeaways From This Episode * Trying to “fix” someone often comes from fear—not love—and can deepen their shame. * Anger and frustration rarely motivate change; they usually create defensiveness or withdrawal. * You cannot control someone else’s healing timeline—accepting this is essential. * Advice and solutions work best when they come from the person themselves, not from you. * Asking open, gentle questions helps people reconnect with their own needs. * Validation (“it’s okay to feel this way”) reduces pressure and emotional isolation. * Sometimes the most powerful support is simply being present without trying to change anything. * Caretaking and rescuing can unintentionally take away someone’s agency and slow their growth. * Not everything is about you—learning not to take someone’s mood personally is key. * If you’ve done the work and the relationship continues to harm you, it’s okay to step away or set boundaries. Enjoyed This Episode? You May Also Enjoy Help Grow The Podcast: Since this is a new podcast, I’d really appreciate your support. Here are three ways you can help grow the podcast: * Follow the Relationships With A Soul podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcasting platform * Share this episode with a friend who you think will find it valuable Get full access to The Human Edge at nickneve.substack.com/subscribe

In this episode of Relationships with a Soul, we break down what a healthy relationship actually looks like in practice—not the fantasy, not the absence of conflict, but the real, lived dynamics that create connection, trust, and longevity. We explore the biggest misconceptions about relationships (including the belief that “healthy” means no conflict), and walk through the core behaviors that make relationships work over time. Using real examples from our own relationship and clinical experience, we cover how to communicate without criticism, express emotions in a way that builds connection, navigate differences, regulate reactivity, and set boundaries that strengthen—not weaken—the relationship. If you’ve ever wondered “What does a healthy relationship actually look like day-to-day?”—this episode gives you a clear, grounded roadmap. In This Episode We Explore: 00:00 – Introduction: The myth of “natural” relationships01:47 – Why healthy relationships still have conflict02:40 – No criticism: the foundation of respect04:16 – Why criticism creates defensiveness08:05 – What to say instead of attacking your partner14:19 – The power of “I” statements in conflict19:06 – The danger of “always” and “never” language26:51 – Understanding stonewalling and emotional shutdown41:01 – Differentiation: staying connected while being different51:43 – Emotional regulation and low reactivity 📙Follow Nick and Lily on Substack 🪷 Explore The Relationships With A Soul Brand 💻Visit Nick’s Website 💻Visit Lily’s Website Key Takeaways From This Episode * Healthy relationships are learned—not something we automatically know how to do. * Conflict is not the problem—how you engage in conflict is what defines the relationship. * Criticism damages connection because it makes your partner “wrong” instead of understood. * Speaking from your own experience (“I feel…”) reduces defensiveness and opens dialogue. * Words like “always” and “never” escalate conflict and distort reality. * Emotional safety is built when partners validate feelings instead of rejecting them. * Stonewalling often comes from deeper emotional blocks—not a lack of care. * Healthy relationships allow for differences without disconnection (differentiation). * Low emotional reactivity creates space for real conversations instead of arguments. * Boundaries are not rejection—they are a way of taking care of yourself so you can show up better in the relationship. Enjoyed This Episode? You May Also Enjoy Help Grow The Podcast: Since this is a new podcast, I’d really appreciate your support. Here are three ways you can help grow the podcast: * Follow the Relationships With A Soul podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcasting platform * Share this episode with a friend who you think will find it valuable Get full access to The Human Edge at nickneve.substack.com/subscribe

Episode 55 In this episode we explore: how to recognize when something in your life is out of alignment and how to make meaningful changes before a crisis forces your hand. In This Episode We Explore: * 00:00 — Why major life changes often happen after a crisis, and how to make them before rock bottom * 00:01 — The first step: recognizing the body’s signals when something in life is out of alignment * 00:06 — The difference between the body’s simple signals and the mind’s overthinking and fear * 00:13 — Uncertainty and fear of the unknown as one of the biggest blockages to change * 00:18 — Why familiar chaos can feel safer than true calm depending on your nervous system * 00:21 — The power of community and inspiration when making difficult life changes * 00:27 — Personal responsibility and why lasting change begins with your own actions * 00:35 — How avoiding necessary change can eventually invite crisis or deeper suffering * 00:41 — Simple ways to reconnect with your body and tune into what it’s telling you * 00:45 — Why taking action is usually less frightening than the mind predicts Key Lessons In This Episode * Big life changes often happen after a crisis, but they don’t have to. You can learn to recognize the signals earlier and act before life forces the issue. * The body often knows something is wrong before the mind is ready to admit it. Exhaustion, dread, illness, or lack of inspiration can signal misalignment. * Repeating emotional or physical patterns are powerful indicators that something in your life may need attention or change. * Fear of the unknown is one of the biggest reasons people stay stuck, even when they know something in their life isn’t working. * Looking back at challenges you’ve already survived can help you trust that you are capable of navigating uncertainty again. * What feels safe is not always healthy. Familiar chaos can feel comfortable simply because it’s what your nervous system is used to. * Being around inspiring people or communities can help you believe that change is possible and motivate you to take action. * Personal responsibility can feel uncomfortable, but real change begins when you stop waiting for external circumstances to shift. * Reconnecting with your body through stillness, quiet reflection, or simple daily practices can help you recognize what your life truly needs. * The hardest part of change is often starting, but once you take action you often realize the situation wasn’t as overwhelming as your mind predicted. 📙Follow Nick and Lily on Substack 🪷 Explore The Relationships With A Soul Brand 💻Visit Nick’s Website 💻Visit Lily’s Website Enjoyed This Episode? You May Also Enjoy Help Grow The Podcast: Since this is a new podcast, I’d really appreciate your support. Here are three ways you can help grow the podcast: * Follow the Relationships With A Soul podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcasting platform * Share this episode with a friend who you think will find it valuable Get full access to The Human Edge at nickneve.substack.com/subscribe

Episode 54 In this episode, we unpack why the traditional American Dream no longer guarantees fulfillment — and explore a new framework for building a life rooted in alignment, purpose, and real happiness. * 00:00 – Why we’re questioning the American Dream * 02:15 – How the original framework shaped our life decisions * 05:40 – School, career, house, marriage: the traditional blueprint * 08:30 – Why the old dream once worked — and why it doesn’t now * 12:10 – Searching for happiness in the wrong places * 15:25 – Overemphasizing money as the primary source of fulfillment * 19:40 – Expecting romantic partners to “complete” us * 23:05 – The quiet disappointment after achieving what you were told to want * 27:20 – Why external success doesn’t fix internal misalignment * 31:15 – The danger of living someone else’s definition of success * 35:40 – What’s replacing the old dream: self-awareness and alignment * 40:10 – Designing a life based on values, not validation * 44:30 – Final framework: fulfillment over status Key Insights * The American Dream gave previous generations structure and direction — but structure isn’t the same as fulfillment. * Many of us unconsciously built our lives around a blueprint we never consciously chose. * Money solves practical problems — but it doesn’t create meaning. * Romantic partners cannot carry the weight of your self-worth or happiness. * Achieving external milestones without internal clarity leads to quiet dissatisfaction. * Real success isn’t about checking boxes — it’s about alignment with who you actually are. * The “new American Dream” is self-awareness, emotional maturity, and intentional life design. * Fulfillment comes from congruence between your values and your daily life — not status or appearances. 📙Follow Nick and Lily on Substack 🪷 Explore The Relationships With A Soul Brand 💻Visit Nick’s Website 💻Visit Lily’s Website Enjoyed This Episode? You May Also Enjoy Help Grow The Podcast: Since this is a new podcast, I’d really appreciate your support. Here are three ways you can help grow the podcast: * Follow the Relationships With A Soul podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcasting platform * Share this episode with a friend who you think will find it valuable Get full access to The Human Edge at nickneve.substack.com/subscribe

Episode 53 In this episode of Relationships with the Soul, Nick and Lily unpack why negativity is everywhere right now—and why “just stay positive” isn’t cutting it. In This Episode, We Cover * 00:00 – Intro: Why negativity blocks fulfillment, creativity, and intimacy * 01:35 – Why negativity feels normal: the brain’s safety wiring * 03:20 – Evolution + modern fear triggers (and how fear hijacks clarity) * 05:38 – Notifications + outrage = fight/flight/freeze all day * 07:01 – Overstimulation, social pressure, and “mind control” when ungrounded * 09:36 – Childhood conditioning: how early fear becomes your operating system * 11:31 – The news as hypnosis: fear, ratings, and staying hooked * 13:08 – The 10-minute rule: boundaries with negative people * 15:05 – Emotional dumping: why negativity transfers onto you * 17:11 – Boundaries + self-trust: choosing yourself without guilt * 18:45 – Fear and negativity are linked (the hidden thought behind self-sabotage) * 19:58 – How the news spreads negativity: uncertainty + emotional spikes * 22:35 – Gossip as “connection” (and why it leaves you feeling empty) * 24:23 – The real disconnect: negativity blocks vulnerability and closeness * 26:00 – Vulnerability example: tragedy → transformation → deeper connection * 28:36 – “How are you?” and why most people can’t answer honestly * 30:44 – Fulfillment requires vulnerability (not just “positive” emotions) * 33:39 – Vulnerability forces you to slow down (tools for couples) * 37:34 – One person shifting can change the whole dynamic * 38:16 – Cheat sheet: practical ways to step out of negativity * 41:53 – Lily’s closing question: where is fear shaping your life? * 43:16 – Wrap-up: acceptance, lifestyle, and topic requests via DM Key Lessons From This Episode 1) Negativity is often survival wiring—not “who you are” Your brain scans for threats to keep you safe. Expecting the worst can feel protective, even when the threat isn’t real. 2) Fear hijacks clarity When you’re in fight/flight/freeze, you’re not thinking well—you’re reacting. Media + constant updates can keep you stuck in that state. 3) Overstimulation makes you easier to control When you’re ungrounded and constantly stimulated, you’re more susceptible to fear narratives, reactivity, and emotional manipulation. 4) Your childhood still runs your adult operating system Unseen beliefs, language, and early experiences quietly shape your tone, risk tolerance, and relationship patterns. 5) Gossip + news can create “contact” but not connection It keeps conversations going, but it doesn’t deepen intimacy—because negativity blocks vulnerability. 6) Boundaries protect connection (they don’t destroy it) A 10-minute timer can be a loving, practical way to stop being someone’s emotional dumping ground. 7) Vulnerability creates fulfillment Slowing down, telling the truth, and staying present—even in discomfort—builds real intimacy and trust. 8) One person shifting the dynamic can change everything You don’t need both people “on board” immediately. One person slowing down, breathing, and responding differently can reshape the whole interaction. The Negativity Reset Cheat Sheet 1) Audit your inputs * Turn off notifications that spike fear. * Don’t start your day with news, outrage, or doom scrolling. 2) Stop donating attention to negativity * A negative thought can arise without you feeding it. * Ask: “Do I want to engage with this?” 3) Use the 10-minute boundary * “I’ve got 10 minutes—wanted to check in.” * You can love people without absorbing their emotional sludge. 4) Replace surface talk with emotional truth Instead of news/gossip, try: * “What’s been weighing on you lately?” * “What are you avoiding?” * “What’s something you’ve been afraid to admit?” 5) When conflict hits: slow down first * Breathe. * Drop your shoulders. * Put a hand on your chest. * Ask: “What am I feeling underneath this?” 6) Track where fear is shaping your life Lily’s question: * “Where is fear shaping my tone, my conversations, and my worldview?” 7) Accept where you are—and choose your next response You don’t need to be perfect.You just need to respond with more awareness than you did last time. 📙Follow Nick and Lily on Substack 🪷 Explore The Relationships With A Soul Brand 💻Visit Nick’s Website 💻Visit Lily’s Website Enjoyed This Episode? You May Also Enjoy Help Grow The Podcast: Since this is a new podcast, I’d really appreciate your support. Here are three ways you can help grow the podcast: * Follow the Relationships With A Soul podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favorite podcasting platform * Share this episode with a friend who you think will find it valuable Get full access to The Human Edge at nickneve.substack.com/subscribe