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HELLO FRIENDS! It has been so long.. In this solo episode, I'm back after a bit of a break, because honestly, life has been life-ing. I'm constantly reminding myself that this podcast does not have to be perfect to be worth showing up for. I give you a quick rundown of our Bali trip with friends. Ayana felt a bit sterile if I'm honest, but Melia was amazing, especially with kids in tow. I also chat about what work looks like right now, still nannying while I build my counselling business, and a possible short term demi pair from Germany who might come and give us a bit more breathing room!! Love that for us. My son has started mid year school entry and is doing really well, just extra tired, which makes sense and now he is off on this next chapter I'm loving getting extra one on one time with Sophie. I've also finally clawed my way back into Pilates and the gym (after a brutal flu completely wiped me out) after 2 years of feeling very lost with my exercise I am soo excited to get back into it! Then I get into something heavier. . I open up about a major betrayal 12 months from someone very close to me, the immense grief & heartbreak that has come with it after it rocked a lot of relationships around me, as well the lack of closure I think I will be forever sitting with. It really changed how I view family dynamics and the love and care I want to show my own children as they become adults as well as the importance of fostering healthy and loving sibling bonds. I also share some reflections on the Lindsay Clancy case, because it is such an important reminder of how seriously we need to take maternal mental health, support, and proper care. I would love to connect! You can find me over on Instagram at @doulamarley and @counsellormarley, and you can follow the podcast at @becomingboth.

Hi friends! Tonight I’m talking about something that has been on my mind every single blooody day... whether we should have a third baby. My heart feels so clucky.. I love the idea of another little person, another sibling for Jamie and Sophie, and growing the family I've always imagined. Buuuuut my head keeps reminding me of everything that comes with that decision.. In this episode I'm unpacking the constant back and forth between what my heart wants and what real life looks like. I chat about finally reaching a stage where life feels easier now that Sophie is two, and whether we're willing to jump back into pregnancy, birth, postpartum and all the hard, beautiful chaos that comes with starting again. I also share the things that genuinely make me hesitate, from my really difficult second pregnancy and birth experience, to running my own business, not having much of a village, finances, travel, school fees, and wondering whether we have the capacity to give another child the life we'd want for them. But I also talk about the other side of it. The excitement of meeting another little soul. Watching another personality grow. Seeing Jamie and Sophie become older siblings again. The family I always pictured, and why closing the door on that dream feels much harder than I expected. If you've ever felt torn between what your heart wants and what makes the most sense on paper, I hope this conversation helps you feel a little less alone. If you enjoyed this episode, I'd love if you left a review or shared it with someone who might need to hear it. CONNECT Instagram: @becomingboth @doulamarley @counsellormarley

Hi friends! After an unexpected three-week break, we're back! In this episode of Becoming Both, I convince Tyron to join me with about five minutes' notice before we head off to Bali for a family holiday. We start with a little life update.. how we're surviving winter, finally getting a little more sleep, Sophie's determined personality, and the reminder that every stage of parenting is just that: a season. From there, we dive into a conversation that comes up in almost every family at some point: the mental load. We chat openly about how we divide responsibilities in our own home (we'd probably call it a 60/40 split), what has worked for us, and where we've had to learn along the way. We explore why it's often not the big jobs that create resentment, but the constant stream of invisible tasks that keep a household running. As someone with diagnosed ADHD, I also share how constant interruptions from young children can leave me feeling mentally overloaded, and why practical support isn't just about "helping".. it's about sharing responsibility. We also unpack topics like weaponized incompetence, micromanaging, differing standards around housework, and why expressing appreciation for each other's efforts can go a long way. This isn't about blaming mums or dads. It's an honest conversation about building a partnership where both people feel seen, supported, and valued. In this episode we discuss: The mental load of parentingSharing household responsibilitiesParenting as a partnershipInvisible labour and resentmentADHD and overstimulation in motherhoodWeaponized incompetenceDifferent standards and priorities at homeCommunication around domestic labourAppreciation and gratitude in relationshipsWhy motherhood is work, even when you're at homeWhether you're the parent carrying most of the mental load or you're trying to better understand your partner's experience, I hope this conversation encourages more empathy, more teamwork, and a few practical takeaways you can use in your own home. As always, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Come and continue the conversation over on Instagram @doulamarley @becomingboth Appreciate the support and feedback as usual!

In this solo episode of Becoming Both, I’m sharing a little life update and opening up about something I know so many mothers can relate to &&&& that is feeling like you've lost your spark. I chat about the exciting (and nerve-wracking) season of beginning the counselling side of my work after five years as a doula, what it's been like seeing my first clients, and my commitment to moving slowly, staying within my scope, and supporting mothers through the transitions of parenthood. I also share some of the everyday life happenings around our family.. from Jamie getting ready to start school, to our upcoming trip to Bali, and the strange quiet feeling of having the boys away. But the heart of this episode is a conversation about feeling stuck, flat, disconnected, or a little lost in motherhood. I talk honestly about the emotional weight of constantly giving to others, the way social media can sometimes feel like you're speaking into the void, and how discouraging it can be when you're pouring your heart into projects that don't seem to gain traction. Never from a place of ego, but just how social media seems to be these days. Together, we explore why so many mothers lose touch with themselves after having children, and the small, realistic ways we can begin reconnecting with who we are outside of caring for everyone else. Some of the practical ideas I share include: • Deep breathing and slowing down • Hydration and basic self-care • Reducing information overload • Listening to music • Journaling and reflection • Getting dressed up just because • Reconnecting with friends • Practising gratitude • Making space for creativity • Finding small pockets of time that belong to you If you've been feeling a little lost lately, I hope this episode feels like a lil reminder that you are still in there. Your spark doesn't disappear forever.. it sometimes just needs a little space, attention, and time to re-emerge! If you like this ep, it would mean so much to review, comment or share on your stories and tag me. You can find me over at @becomingboth or @doulamarley xx

In this episode of Becoming Both, I sit down with the lovely Jordi, a 29-year-old mum of two from Adelaide, to talk honestly about OCD in pregnancy and motherhood. This conversation is real, raw and a huge reminder that not all anxiety is “just anxiety.. Jordi shares how OCD quietly shaped so much of her life for years before she was ever diagnosed, from intense fears around sickness and contamination to the constant need for certainty and reassurance. What looked like anxiety on the outside was actually something much deeper, and pregnancy with her first baby amplified everything. We talk about the panic episode at 32 weeks that finally led her to a perinatal psychiatrist, receiving an OCD diagnosis late in pregnancy, and the huge emotional weight of navigating all of that while preparing to become a mum. Jordi opens up about starting sertraline, choosing an elective caesarean birth, and the shock of postpartum intrusive thoughts, including frightening fears of harming her baby, and how extremely isolating that experience can feel when nobody talks about it openly. This episode also explores what changed the second time around: entering pregnancy with more understanding, the right support, medication already in place, and the difference that early intervention can make. More than anything, this conversation is about honesty. About how scary thoughts do not make you a bad mother. About how OCD can hide in plain sight. And about why mums deserve specialized, informed support — not dismissal. If you’ve ever felt consumed by fear, trapped in reassurance-seeking, or ashamed of intrusive thoughts, I hope this episode makes you feel less alone. If this episode brought anything up for you, please know support is available — and intrusive thoughts, anxiety, and OCD in pregnancy/postpartum are far more common than many mums realize. Helpful supports: • PANDA – Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Australia Mon–Fri support line for parents during pregnancy and postpartum. 1300 726 306 • Beyond Blue 24/7 mental health support and counselling. 1300 22 4636 • Lifeline Australia 24/7 crisis support. 13 11 14 • International OCD Foundation – Perinatal OCD Resources Helpful information around intrusive thoughts and perinatal OCD. If you’re feeling dismissed, keep seeking support. You deserve care that takes your experience seriously! You can find me over at @becomingboth or @doulamarley. I would love to connect! Leaving a review or comment helps others find me. If you'd like to join me - feel free to email me [email protected] as I am always looking for guests to share their story xx

I’m Marley, and this episode was actually recorded previously… only to realise my two year old had somehow hit mute on the microphone. Which honestly feels pretty on brand for this season of life. We’ve also just come out of what felt like an endless sleep deprivation spiral. About eight weeks of chaos that only really started improving after seeing a sleep consultant. So if I sound slightly delirious in this episode, that’s why. From there, I get into returning to work and childcare, and how loaded and personal the whole conversation can feel once you become a mum. I talk about the pressure a lot of families are under financially, and how daycare often ends up being the only realistic option because it’s the only thing subsidised. I also share my own weird guilt around using daycare three days a week while I nanny and study, and how I still catch myself feeling like I need to justify it. We get into the research around children and primary caregivers in those early years, while also acknowledging that some kids genuinely thrive in care. Like most things in parenting, it’s not black and white. I talk through some of the pros too. Identity outside motherhood, adult conversation, routine, financial relief, independence. But also the harder parts that people don’t always say out loud. The guilt, constant sickness, breastfeeding logistics, the mental load of organising everything, and trying to navigate workplaces that aren’t always supportive of mothers. There are listener stories in this one too, which honestly made me feel less alone reading them. And I share some practical things that can help. Gradual daycare transitions, having more honest conversations with employers, and why splitting the load at home matters so much more than people realise. This episode isn’t really about telling mums what they should do. It’s more just an honest conversation about how hard it can feel trying to make decisions for your kids while also trying to survive modern life. If you’ve been enjoying the pod, leaving a quick review genuinely helps more people find these conversations. And you can always come chat with me over on Instagram @doulamarley and @becomingboth.

Hi everyone! Tonight I chat to Mel about all things step parenting. Mel’s been a stepmum for seven years to her stepson (who’s now 13 and has autism), and she also has two young daughters with her husband. So she’s right in the thick of the juggle. We talk about how misunderstood stepparents can feel. The “evil stepmum” narrative, the constant second-guessing, and the amount of behind-the-scenes stuff that just… goes unnoticed. School drop-offs, dinners, appointments, emotional support — all the things that make up parenting, but without always being seen as “the parent.” Mel shares how she’s built a relationship with her stepson over time (especially through his interests), and how much patience that’s taken. We get into the walking on eggshells feeling that can come with discipline, boundaries, and trying to find your place in decisions that don’t fully feel like yours to make. We also talk about how becoming a mum herself shifted things — especially her perspective and empathy towards her stepson’s biological mum, which is something I don’t think gets talked about enough. There’s a bit in here around a listener question too — fears around abuse statistics, dating someone with kids, and how overwhelming that can feel when you’re thinking about stepping into that kind of role. If you’re a step-parent, thinking about becoming one, or just curious about what it actually looks like behind closed doors — this will probably resonate. And if you’ve been listening along, leaving a quick review helps more than you’d think. You can always find me over on Instagram @doulamarley and @becomingboth.

Hello friends! Well, well.. Sophie’s sleep has gone completely rogue.. bedtime battles, random wake-ups, the co-sleeping convo making a comeback, and one very funny (but also painful at the time) monitor moment with Tyron. We are… not thriving on the sleep front. We’ve just done back-to-back birthdays for Jamie (5) and Sophie (2). We skipped the big parties this year and kept it low-key, which was actually way nicer. I run through what we got them — Lego, walkie talkies, books, a little VTech camera, Baby Born — nothing wild, just things they’re genuinely into. There’s also that weird feeling of the baby stage ending. Like I’m sad about it… but also don’t know if I can (or want to?) start again. I talk about the whole “third baby” thing .. wanting it in theory, but real life (money, capacity, everything) being a different story. I touch on nannying and how it constantly reminds me every kid and every family is so different. What works for one just… doesn’t for another, and that’s been sitting with me a lot lately. And then the heavier bits — feeling overwhelmed, the identity shift that still somehow catches me off guard, yelling and then feeling like crap after, body image, all of it. I also chat a bit about moving more into counselling for mums and why that feels like the right direction for me right now. If this feels like your current season, you’re not the only one in it. If you’ve been listening, leaving a review actually helps more than you’d think. And you can always find me on Instagram @doulamarley and @becomingboth.

This episode is a real one. I’m Marley, and in this episode of Becoming Both I chat with Kate — a mum to a 13-month-old — about the messy, very real side of motherhood… especially when you’re doing it without much family support. We get into a lot in this conversation. Kate shares her experience with long-term anxiety and depression, and how that showed up through pregnancy (after a previous loss) and into postpartum. We talk about what actually helped — a supportive partner, consistent midwife care, therapy, and eventually medication — and how stigma within her family made reaching out for that support feel even harder. But the bigger thread running through this episode is estrangement and boundaries. Not the dramatic version people expect — the quieter, more confusing version where things just don’t feel right. We talk about: navigating a complicated relationship with your own mumhow becoming a parent can bring up a lot of self-worth stuff you didn’t expectthe grief of not having the kind of family support you thought you wouldwhen daycare becomes more than childcare — it becomes a lifelinethe pressure and entitlement that can come with “grandparent access”how family dynamics can feel performative, surface-level, or even unsafethe way all of this quietly impacts your relationship and your mental healthAnd the part people don’t say out loud — you can hold boundaries and still grieve the relationship you wish you had. This isn’t about telling anyone what to do with their family. It’s just an honest conversation about something a lot of people are living through, but not always talking about. If your version of motherhood doesn’t include the “village” everyone talks about… this one will probably hit. CONNECT IG: @doulamarley Podcast: @becomingboth

In this episode I’m chatting with Kenny, bless him, my first male guest (outside of Tyron 😅) and we get into what parenting looks like when you’ve come from a really tough childhood. Kenny shares his story of losing his dad really young, growing up around drug use, constant moving, and a pretty unstable home environment. He talks about the emotional impact of that, including being pitted against his sister and how that’s affected their relationship now. We also talk about him leaving home at 16, being taken in by a friend’s family, finishing school, and eventually cutting contact with his mum. He did try to reconnect later after becoming a dad, but it didn’t go how he’d hoped and they’re no longer in contact. Becoming a parent brought a lot of that past stuff back up for him, especially around things like coping with his daughter crying, which led him to start therapy. He shares a bit about that process and how it’s helped him show up differently as a dad, with a lot of support from his partner Mary. We also get into the bigger stuff.. men and emotional vulnerability, the pressure of work and family life, and how communication can either make or break things in a relationship. It’s a really honest chat and I am so thankful to have had him on! Find me over at @doulamarley @becomingboth I would love to hear your feedback! Feel free to leave a comment and I would be so honoured if you would leave a review, it really helps xx

Going from one to two kids… at the end of the day no one can fully prepare for it! In this episode, I’m chatting from a very tired, post–long weekend Monday (hello daylight savings + 5am wake-ups 🫠). I share a few life updates first, Easter as a family of four, my thoughts on gifting getting a bit OTT, smashing through my counselling course, budgeting shifts, and adding an extra ELC day for Jamie before school starts. Then we get into the real chitty chat: the transition from one to two. With a three-year age gap, a NICU stay, and an infected C-section, this time around looked very different for me personally. I talk about the parts I found hardest, losing that quiet newborn bubble, juggling two completely different needs, the shift into divide-and-conquer with your partner, breastfeeding logistics, and just the overall jump in mental load (and the reality of basically no “me time”). But it’s not all hard! That is for sure. I share what felt easier the second time, more confidence, less pressure to do everything “perfectly,” and being able to actually settle into motherhood in a different way. And honestly… watching the sibling relationship unfold makes a lot of it worth it. I finish with some practical things that helped me: babywearing (lifesaver)lowering expectations (a lot)keeping some kind of routineasking for help (even when it feels hard)and giving yourself a lot of grace in the transitionIf you’re in this stage or about to me, I'd love for you to have a listen xx 🎧 Find me over at: @doulamarley @becomingboth And if this episode resonates, I’d love if you left a review, it genuinely helps more people find the podcast 🤍

Okay friends! It’s Friday night, I’m solo parenting, one kid asleep, one doing that thing where you think they’re asleep but they’re not… so here we are. I chat about what’s been going on, starting my diploma of counselling, slowly building my website, picking up nannying/babysitting to help with the cost of living, and getting excited for a Bali trip (which honestly feels very needed). Then I get into intimacy after kids. Because it changes. HEAPS. And it ain't just because you’re “not trying hard enough” but because you’re exhausted, your hormones are all over the place, you might be breastfeeding, you’re touched out, your body feels different, and half the time your brain is running through a mental checklist of everything that still needs to be done. And if your partner isn’t really sharing that load… it’s hard not to feel a bit resentful. I read through some of your messages (which gave so many perspectives!), and talk about what’s actually helped for us.. not from a place of authority but just sharing, ya know. Things like: communicating without it turning into a dig actually asking for what you need finding connection during the day instead of waiting until you’re both wrecked at night little resets like a six-second kiss checking in with each other beyond just “what’s for dinner tomorrow” and even just admitting when things feel off and also… sometimes getting extra support if you’re really stuck! It’s not about forcing it or “getting back to normal” it’s more like figuring out what connection looks like now. Let me know what you think. Find me over at @doulamarley @becomingboth I would love to connect xx

In this episode, my husband and I chat on a Friday night just before our five-year wedding anniversary, then dive into our second pregnancy and birth story with Sophie. I got pregnant quickly and blurted it out on the phone, but early scans had us anxious when I measured two weeks behind.. before everything thankfully eventually progressed normally. From about seven weeks, I experienced relentless hyperemesis gravidarum (HG): vomiting daily, surviving on broth and frozen cokes, struggling with pelvic floor issues, and feeling depressed, embarrassed, and like I had lost my personality. Meanwhile, my husband carried much of the load with Jamie. A quick Bali trip gave brief relief, but the pregnancy challenges kept coming. Late pregnancy brought a big twist: Sophie was frank breech. After a failed ECV and the hospital declining support for a vaginal breech due to head entrapment risk, I very reluctantly chose a caesarean, despite desperately hoping for a home birth. Sophie’s cord was wrapped around her head multiple times, and her early days included NICU care for severe jaundice, almost requiring a transfusion. My recovery was very very tough too, tense pain, fluid buildup at my scar, and the emotional weight of feeling robbed of the birth I had envisioned. Through it all, the guidance of our midwife and the support of our community helped us navigate this challenging journey. In this episode, we share both the hard truths and the breakthroughs, hoping to offer solidarity for anyone going through pregnancy and early motherhood struggles. 💌 We’d love to hear from you! If this episode resonated, or if you’ve faced similar pregnancy challenges, leave a comment or review. Your story helps create a supportive community for other mums navigating these experiences. Come find me over at @doulamarley @becomingboth Email me at [email protected] A 5 star review helps so much!

Trigger warning: This episode discusses termination for medical reasons, pregnancy loss, and infant death. Please take care while listening and pause if you need to. In this episode of Becoming Both, I’m joined by Jess for a conversation that is incredibly complex, honest, and ultimately a beautiful tribute to her first son, Jasper. Jess is married to Dylan and is mum to Sage (2). She’s also currently pregnant with their third baby at 33 weeks. But before Sage, before this pregnancy, there was Jasper.. a deeply loved and very wanted little boy whose life, although short, has shaped their family forever. Jess shares their journey through IVF using donor sperm, and how everything changed during the 20-week morphology scan when doctors first noticed bilateral club feet. What followed were weeks that many parents unfortunately know all too well: urgent appointments with maternal fetal medicine specialists, an amniocentesis, MRIs, and meetings with genetic counsellors. Eventually they received a rare genetic diagnosis with only a handful of documented cases and increasingly severe prognoses. Jess and Dylan were faced with an unimaginable decision.. one no parent ever expects to make, and ultimately chose a termination for medical reasons so their sweet Jasper wouldn’t suffer. Jess speaks so openly about that experience. From the feticide procedure, to the induction and birth of Jasper at 26 weeks, to the precious time they spent with him in hospital, taking photos, holding him, creating memories, receiving a heartbeat teddy, and saying goodbye with the support of a cold cot. She also gives us insight to the moment of leaving the hospital without him, and all the emotions that can come with pregnancy after loss continue to weave their way through life and parenting. Jasper remains part of their family. He is spoken about, remembered, and loved. This episode is a gentle tribute to him, and to all the babies who are deeply loved and missed. If this conversation brings up anything for you, or if you or someone you love has experienced termination for medical reasons or pregnancy loss, please know you’re not alone and support is available. Some organisations that offer support include: 🤍 Red Nose Australia – counselling and grief support for pregnancy, stillbirth and infant loss 🤍 Bears of Hope – peer support, resources and community for bereaved families 🤍 Sands Australia – support groups and resources for miscarriage, stillbirth and neonatal loss 🤍 ARC Australia – specialised support for parents facing or who have experienced termination for medical reasons 🤍 Red Tree Foundation - Supports the health and wellbeing of bereaved parents by the provision of free professional grief counselling and bereavement support to any parent who is affected by the sudden and unexpected death of a baby or child from conception up to 17 years of age. If you’re listening and carrying your own grief, please know your baby matters and your story deserves space too. And Jess, thank you for trusting us with Jasper’s story. He will always be part of your family, and now part of this conversation too.

In this episode of Becoming Both, I’m talking about resentment in motherhood. As a mum of two under five, this is something I know really well. I start by sharing a little life update about hosting my first ever mothers’ retreat (still can’t believe that’s happening), and then we get into the real stuff. Because resentment can show up even when you have a supportive, involved partner. Sometimes it's amazing to think we aren't MORE resentful of motherhood, right? The mental load, sleep deprivation, the lack of village, the identity shift.. feeling constantly needed but not always seen and that can fester if we don't find ways to move through it. I chit chat about how resentment can show up as snapping, irritability, pulling away, burnout, or those quiet thoughts of wanting to escape for a bit. And honestly, it doesn’t just get directed at our partners.. sometimes it’s towards our kids, other mums, work, or the expectations that come with being a mother. The biggest thing I wanted to share is that resentment is information. It usually points to an unmet need. So we talk about naming it without shame, getting curious about what’s underneath it, communicating it clearly (and kindly), and what to do if you feel dismissed when you try to speak up. Because when resentment sits there unresolved, it slowly impacts connection!! Especially and including intimacy. This one is honest and I hope you love it! Come find me over at @doulamarley @becomingboth - I would love to chat. A 5 star review would mean the world xx