Advertise on podcast: Mr. Nice Guy & the Broken Wife | Navigating Love and Intimacy After Past Abuse

How do you change a long-standing pattern in your marriage without just giving in to keep the peace? How do you stay true to yourself and stay connected, especially when conflict is high? Last week, I shared why setting clear expectations often backfires and creates more resentment than resolution. This week, Brent joins me to bring that concept to life with a real story from our own marriage. We unpack a big fight over a red light, and how it became a hinge point for shifting out of old dynamics. You’ll hear what it looked like when expectations weren’t met, the frustration that followed, and how we moved toward something more honest, self-authored, and connected. We talk about: The difference between yielding to pressure vs. making aligned choicesWhy emotional regulation (not anger or withdrawal) builds real trustWhat it actually takes to interrupt long-standing patterns, without losing yourself If you’ve ever felt stuck in a cycle of pursuing, distancing, people-pleasing, or silent resentment, this conversation will show you a new way through. 🗓️ Want to learn how to disagree without disconnecting? Our April couples retreat in Bear Lake is your next step. More Details Here

What if your “clear expectations” are actually creating distance in your marriage? In this episode, I unpack the subtle but powerful shift that happens when expressing a desire turns into demanding agreement, and how this dynamic often stems from deeper wounds, especially for survivors of abuse. You’ll hear how I navigated this in my own relationship with Brent, why healthy disagreement matters, and how to express what you want without losing connection. If you’ve ever felt dismissed, hurt, or triggered when your partner doesn’t respond the way you hoped, this conversation will offer clarity, compassion, and a more honest path to intimacy. 🔗 Want to explore this work more deeply? Learn about our upcoming couples retreat in April. More Details Here

What happens when one partner carries sexual trauma into a marriage and the other feels guilty for wanting sex at all? In this honest, deeply personal episode, Brent joins me to talk about what it was like being the higher desire partner when sex still felt unsafe for me. We share what helped, what didn't, and how important it was that we both stopped masking what we were experiencing in our sexual relationship. If you’ve ever felt stuck between guilt, pressure, and desire, or if you're navigating sex after abuse in your own marriage, this conversation is for you. 💬 Interested in signing up for the next couples retreat? Find all the details HERE. If you'd like to talk with Brent and I before deciding, schedule a discovery call HERE.

For years, I believed I was broken because I was the wife who wanted nothing to do with sex. In this episode, we explore what it really means to be the lower desire partner in a relationship... and why it doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you. I talk about the dynamics of mismatched sexual desire and the emotional toll it can take on both partners in very different ways. I’ll also walk you through the difference between sexual desire and intimacy and why the distinction matters. Whether you're the higher or lower desire partner, this conversation will help you stop pointing fingers (at yourself or your partner) and start reclaiming your personal agency. 🎟️ Curious about our upcoming couples retreat? Get more details HERE. Limited spots available.

New year, same pressure: be better, try harder, fix yourself. But what if the belief that something is wrong with you is what’s keeping you stuck? In this episode, I unpack the quiet damage of entering the new year feeling broken, and how chasing change from that place can leave you depleted.I share what shifted in my own healing and marriage when I stopped trying to fix myself and started asking a better question: What do I want? You’ll hear about the powerful concept of “meaningful endurance” and how moving from pressure to personal ownership changed everything for me, especially in intimacy.If you’ve ever felt like you should be further along, this is the invitation to choose a new approach.👉 Want first access to our couples retreat details + Valentine’s Day discount? Stay connected, more info coming soon.Interested in coaching? Get more details HERE.

In this episode, I talk about the dynamic that silently shapes and sometimes sabotages every marriage: the imbalance of responsibility. If you find yourself either taking the blame for everything or constantly defending your perspective, this pattern might be more familiar than you think (I’ve been on both sides). You’ll learn how trauma can lead us to overcorrect in relationships, why courage and consideration need to coexist, and how to use self-confrontation to rebuild intimacy without losing yourself. I share personal examples, including a story from my past abuse I’ve never told before, and walk you through the exact questions that help you stop owning what isn't yours or over-defending so you can move toward a healthier relationship. P.S. If intimacy has felt difficult after trauma, even in a safe and loving relationship, I’m now offering a new online course called Reclaiming Your Sexuality After Abuse, paired with one-on-one coaching. If you’re curious whether it’s a good fit, you can schedule a free Discovery Call with me HERE.

You’ve been trying to figure out what’s really going on in your relationship. You’ve wondered if it’s abusive, or if the two of you are just stuck in old patterns and emotional immaturity. In this episode, I break down the key differences between dysfunction and abuse by looking at patterns of power, fear, and emotional regulation. I also walk you through five common signs that may point to something deeper than conflict, including intensity, volatility, and control dynamics. You’ll hear personal stories, practical reflection questions, and the turning point that helped me understand my own past relationship more clearly. If this question has been weighing on you, this episode will give you clarity and direction. If emotional immaturity feels like the core issue and you’re ready to work on it, you can book a free discovery call using THIS LINK. If safety is a concern, I’ve included trusted, trauma-informed resources HERE.

Right before hitting record, we got into an argument. The kind where we both felt misunderstood, defensive, and like the other was the problem. But, unlike in the past, we were able to work through it. That process is exactly what we want to share with you today. In this real-time breakdown, we share how control shows up in subtle ways in marriage, even when you’re both trying your best. We talk about the tension between autonomy and attachment, the “no, unless” trap that often hides in people-pleasing, and how we each self-confronted to reconnect. You’ll hear: What triggered the argument and how it spiraledThe exact moment we hit reset and how we did itScripts to move from defensiveness to collaborationWhy true repair often starts with looking for what truth there is in your partners perception of you If you’ve ever felt like one of you has to lose for the other to win, this episode will offer a new way forward. One built on mutual respect, honesty, and yes, a little messiness. ✨ Want to go deeper? Join us at our next Couples Retreat — April 23–25 in Bear Lake, Utah. Click HERE for more details.

We’ve all said it: “Two wrongs don’t make a right.” But are you actually living that truth in your relationships? In this episode, I’m breaking down the essential difference between feeling an emotion and acting on it and why separating the two is at the core of emotional maturity. Whether it’s parenting or marriage, we often justify our reactions based on someone else’s actions. But that pattern erodes trust, safety, and connection. We’ll talk about: Why emotional honesty isn’t an excuse to mistreat othersHow to apologize without justifying harmful behaviorThe subtle way we teach kids to manage our emotions (and how to break the cycle)What real emotional maturity looks like in action If you're ready to stop passing emotional responsibility onto others and start breaking the patterns you were raised in, this one's for you. ✨ Looking for personal support? Book a Discovery Call using this link.

If you’ve ever felt a quiet simmer of anger in your marriage (or a full-blown wave of resentment) you’re not broken, and you’re not alone. But pushing those feelings down isn’t working… and never has. In this episode, I walk you through: The real difference between anger and resentmentWhy resentment builds when we wait for our partner to changeA powerful shift that puts you back in the driver’s seat You’ll learn how to listen to what your emotions are trying to tell you, how to speak up without sliding into criticism, and how to take action that aligns with your integrity, regardless of how your partner responds. Ready to stop the resentment cycle and start honoring your own clarity? ✨ For deeper support around emotional responsibility, boundaries, and self-trust in your marriage, visit www.mynameiscourage.com.

In today’s episode, I’m reading a raw journal entry from the days I was in an abusive relationship and lived with what psychologists call a reflected sense of self—when your identity depends on how someone else sees you. At the time, I didn’t know I was in an emotionally abusive relationship. I just knew I was constantly anxious, terrified of upsetting him, and couldn’t trust my own gut. I share how this pattern followed me, even into a safe marriage, and what it actually takes to rebuild your inner compass. You’ll hear: What a reflected sense of self looks like in real lifeHow emotional abuse distorts your realityWhy self-trust is essential—and how to start reclaiming itThe shift that changed my marriage, my motherhood, and my peace If you’ve ever questioned your reality, withheld something to avoid conflict, or wondered if you were the “crazy one”—this episode will speak to you. ✨ Ready to build a solid sense of self? Book a discovery call to discuss different ways to get support.

Ever feel like you’ve lost yourself inside your marriage? In this episode, I share the raw truth about what happens when we give and give, until there’s nothing left. If you’ve been stuck in a cycle of self-sacrificing, shutting down, or quietly resenting your partner while trying to be “the good spouse,” you’re not broken. You’re just in the part of marriage no one warned you about. We’ll unpack the natural progression every marriage goes through, the real difference between attachment and autonomy, and why learning to regulate yourself (not your spouse) is the key to finding your voice again. This isn’t about blame. It’s about ownership. And I’ll walk you through the emotional skills that helped me reclaim my sense of self—without blowing up my marriage in the process. 💡 Plus, I’m offering one free coaching session to the first five to schedule HERE as I work toward my ICF certification. If you would like to explore more resources, visit mynameiscourage.com.

Why does marriage still feel so hard—even when you’ve left the abuse and married someone good? In this episode, I unpack the frustrating truth so many survivors face: you escaped the toxic relationship, but the patterns followed you. I walk through the pendulum swing from self-sacrifice to self-protection, why “not your fault” isn’t the whole story, and how past trauma quietly shapes the way we show up in even the healthiest marriages. If you’ve found yourself wondering why peace still feels impossible—or why being a “good partner” seems to come at the cost of yourself—this is for you. We’ll explore what true responsibility looks like, how to reclaim your voice without swinging into defensiveness, and the first steps toward the kind of relationship that doesn’t require you to disappear to keep the peace. 🎙️ Plus: I’m offering one free coaching session to the first five to schedule HERE as I pursue my ICF certification. If you would like to explore more resources, visit mynameiscourage.com.

We thought marrying the right person would fix the pain. We were wrong. In our very first episode, Brent and I (Robyn) open up about the early days of our marriage—what we thought healing would look like, how unspoken expectations fueled resentment, and why even "nice guys" can unintentionally contribute to emotional disconnection after trauma. We share how past abuse shaped our dynamic (without either of us realizing it), what finally cracked open the truth, and why real intimacy required way more than patience and positivity. If you’ve ever wondered why your marriage still feels lonely—even though you both want it to work—this conversation is for you. 💬 We talk validation vs. intimacy, the role of self-authoring in reclaiming your sexuality, and how facing discomfort led to the emotional safety we craved. Ready to start building a marriage where you actually like each other again? Head to mynameiscourage.com to learn more about our couples retreats and one-on-one coaching.

I’m Robyn, a domestic abuse survivor turned relationship coach, and this is Mr. Nice Guy & the Broken Wife, a space for couples who want to heal from the past and build a marriage grounded in truth, safety, and connection. If you’ve ever felt stuck in resentment, misunderstood by your partner, or unsure how to break the patterns that keep you apart, you’re not alone. Together, we’ll unpack what healing actually looks like inside a relationship, through real stories, paradigm shifts, and practical tools that bring clarity, hope, and lasting change. Sometimes, my husband Brent joins me for real conversations about our own journey from dysfunction to deep intimacy, because getting here took both of us choosing growth, again and again. This podcast will help you unlearn false beliefs about love, discover emotional safety, and take your next step toward the marriage you’ve always wanted. LAUNCHING NOVEMBER 21, 2025