Advertise on podcast: Management Matters | Notes from an HE Coach

Does how you look affect how people perceive you as a leader? It's a question that a few coaching clients have brought to me over the years. They're capable, experienced women who have either stepped into significant leadership positions or are preparing to take that next step. But they're wondering whether they look the part. Perhaps they don't wear much makeup. Perhaps they prefer comfortable clothes and flat shoes. Perhaps they don't have the time, interest or inclination to invest in the kind of polished appearance they associate with other senior women. And underneath those questions is often a concern about credibility. Will people take me seriously as a leader if I don't look like the other leaders around me? In this episode of Management Matters, I'm exploring how appearance, professional image and self-belief interact, and how to decide what, if anything, you want to change. Does image really matter for career success? I start by looking at Harvey J. Coleman's P.I.E. model from his book Empowering Yourself: The Organizational Game Revealed. The model suggests that three factors contribute to career success: Performance: 10% Image: 30% Exposure: 60% Now, this is a model developed in corporate America in the 1990s, and I'm certainly not suggesting we should accept those percentages as universal truths. But I think it's an interesting starting point. Does it reflect your experience? If it doesn't, that's fine. You don't need to adopt it. But if you recognise something in the idea that professional image influences how people perceive your leadership potential, it might be worth exploring what that means for you. Your professional image is more than your appearance One of the important things about the P.I.E. model is that image isn't simply about how you look. It also includes your professional presence, communication style, personal brand and how other people perceive your value. Are you prepared when you arrive at a meeting? Do you communicate clearly? Do you follow through on your commitments? How do you show up when you're making decisions or leading your team? These things all contribute to the impression people form of you. And they're not necessarily connected to whether you're wearing heels, have a manicure or spend a lot of time on your hair. Imagine your future leadership self One of the exercises I use with clients who bring me this question is to ask them to imagine themselves three to five years into the future. You've settled into your leadership role. You've moved through the steepest part of the learning curve. You're feeling capable, confident and well established. Now imagine what that version of you looks like. Are you wearing different clothes? Have you changed your hair or the way you present yourself? Or do you look much the same as you do now, but feel more comfortable and confident in your own abilities? I think the answer can tell us something really useful. Because sometimes what feels like a concern about appearance is actually a concern about whether you're ready for the leadership role you've stepped into. And those are two quite different things. Building confidence without becoming someone else If you imagine your future self looking much the same as you do now, perhaps the work isn't about changing your appearance. Perhaps it's about building your confidence, strengthening your sense of self and developing trust in your own judgement. I often ask clients what they want to be known for as a leader. And the answers are usually things like making good decisions, following through on commitments, leading well and being someone other people can trust. Those are qualities connected to integrity and leadership. Not the shoes you're wearing. The aim is to develop a version of yourself that feels comfortable, capable and aligned with who you are, while being appropriate for the environment in which you work. Making intentional choices about your image Of course, you might decide that you do want to change something about your appearance. Perhaps you'd like to rethink your wardrobe, find a personal style that feels more comfortable or make getting ready for work a little easier. That's fine too. The important thing is that you're making those decisions intentionally, rather than from a belief that you have to look like somebody else to be successful. I share a few examples from my own experience, including how I dressed when I worked at London Business School, why I've made different choices in other settings, and how I've approached things like colour analysis and haircuts. There's no single right answer. What matters is finding an approach that works for your role, your environment and your sense of self, without using up unnecessary mental energy worrying about how you look. What if concerns about your appearance are taking up a lot of mental space? For some people, exploring professional image and confidence can be a useful coaching topic. We can look at the assumptions you're making, the choices available to you and how you want to show up in your leadership role. But it's also important to recognise that concerns about appearance can sometimes be connected to deeper difficulties, including body image distress or a history of disordered eating. In those circumstances, therapy or counselling may be more appropriate than coaching. If you're unsure what kind of support would be most useful, you're welcome to get in touch and we can talk about the options. You can email me at [email protected]. Ultimately, I want you to feel able to show up at work as yourself. To be comfortable in your own skin, confident in your judgement and known for the contribution you make. Because looking like a leader doesn't have to mean looking like somebody else.

Why are difficult conversations so difficult, even when you know what you need to say? Perhaps you've prepared for a conversation with a member of your team, only to find yourself softening the message at the last minute. Perhaps you've spent ages thinking about what you want to say, but when the opportunity comes, you don't quite say it. Or perhaps you've been putting off a conversation because you're worried about how the other person might react. If any of that sounds familiar, you're certainly not alone. This week's episode of Management Matters was inspired by a coaching conversation about exactly this problem. And I think there's much more going on here than the usual advice to "feel the fear and do it anyway" would suggest. Why difficult conversations feel risky When you're approaching a difficult conversation, there's often a psychological risk involved. You might be worried about disappointing someone, upsetting them, being judged, creating conflict or damaging a working relationship. And if you're a thoughtful, compassionate manager, you may be particularly conscious of what the other person is already dealing with. That matters, especially in the current Higher Education environment, where financial pressures, restructures, changing expectations and uncertainty are affecting so many teams. But there's something else we need to consider alongside the personal discomfort of having the conversation. Balancing compassion with accountability As a manager or leader, you're responsible for more than the individual conversation. You also have responsibilities to your wider team, your service and the people who rely on that service. If an issue isn't addressed, what happens next? Could it affect colleagues, service delivery, student experience or the team's ability to do its work? Sometimes we focus so much on the potential discomfort of saying something difficult that we overlook the consequences of not saying it. And while kindness and compassion are important values, they can sometimes lead us towards holding back information or avoiding a message that someone genuinely needs to hear. This connects with Episode 30: How to Find Your Leadership Style, where I explored how our values influence the way we manage and lead, including what happens when those values become overexpressed. You don't have to manage everyone in exactly the same way Another important part of this is situational flexibility. Think about two people doing similar jobs. One might be brand new, still learning the institution, understanding the team's processes and finding their feet. The other might have been in the role for years and be highly experienced. Your approach to managing those two people will naturally be different. The same principle applies to difficult conversations. You need to consider the individual, the context, the expectations and the risks involved, rather than relying on one standard approach to every situation. Preparation and rehearsal make a difference Once you've understood the situation, there are two practical things I think can make a real difference. The first is preparation. Not lying awake at three in the morning rehearsing the first two sentences over and over. I mean getting clear about what kind of conversation you need to have, what actually needs to be said and what might happen if the issue isn't addressed. The second is rehearsal. I'm a big fan of mental rehearsal, but not simply imagining yourself delivering the opening line. I mean rehearsing the whole experience, including how the other person might respond, how you want to respond, how you'll close the conversation and what happens afterwards. The aim is to help you move beyond knowing what you should do and towards actually doing it. Introducing the Brave Management Conversation Starter Pack I've created a new resource to help you with exactly this. The Brave Management Conversation Starter Pack includes: A fillable PDF worksheet to help you prepare for the conversation, identify what needs to be said and think through the situation. A guided audio visualisation to help you mentally rehearse the conversation, including the difficult moments, your response and the follow-up. It's available in my new Tool Shed, which is a collection of practical resources for specific management and leadership challenges. Everything in the Tool Shed is either free or pay what you like. You can choose to pay for a resource if you'd like to, or access it for free. Get the Brave Management Conversation Starter Pack Explore the Tool Shed Moving the conversation forward You don't necessarily need more information about how to manage people. Sometimes you already know what needs to happen, but you need a better way to prepare yourself to follow through. And that's what I want this episode, and the new starter pack, to help you with. Because having a difficult conversation isn't just about getting through an uncomfortable moment. It's about being able to move a situation forward in a way that takes care of you, the other person, your wider responsibilities and the kind of manager or leader you want to be. If you give the starter pack a try, I'd love to hear how you get on. And if there are other management challenges you'd like me to create practical tools for, do let me know. You can email me at [email protected].

How do you work out what kind of leader you want to be? This week's episode was inspired by a question from a coaching client who had recently started their first line management role. They asked me: "How do I figure out what my leadership style is?" It's a really good question, and one that I think quite a few people ask themselves when they first move into management. The reality is that many people stumble into their leadership style. They try different approaches, notice what feels comfortable, see what works and gradually develop their own way of doing things. But I think there's something to be said for being a little more intentional about it. In this episode, I'm exploring some of the things that can help you develop a leadership style that feels authentic, grounded and aligned with who you are. Start with your values One of the most useful starting points is understanding your personal values. Your values influence what feels right to you, how you make decisions and how you respond when things become challenging. They can also help explain why certain management situations feel uncomfortable or create a sense of internal conflict. Perhaps there's a gap between how you believe you should behave and what you feel you're being asked to do. Or perhaps one of your values is being expressed in a way that's no longer particularly helpful. For example, compassion is a wonderful value. But when compassion becomes overexpressed, it can lead us towards rescuing people, taking responsibility for things that aren't ours to manage or allowing personal circumstances to influence decisions that need to be made on a different basis. Understanding your values helps you recognise those patterns and make more deliberate choices. Download the Grounded Manager Values Exercise I've created a free worksheet to help you identify and explore your values. It includes some questions to get you thinking, followed by an extensive list of values to help you work out which ones really matter to you. You might find that several words initially resonate, such as honesty, transparency and truthfulness. Part of the exercise is working out which of those best captures what's important to you. Download the free Grounded Manager Values Exercise I'd love to know what you discover if you give it a try. What happens when your values are tested? It's relatively straightforward to say that you value compassion, fairness or honesty when everything is going well. But what happens when you're faced with a difficult management decision? In the episode, I use the example of a manager who has been asked to make significant staffing reductions. How do you remain aligned with your values while making decisions that will inevitably have difficult consequences for other people? And how do you make sure those values aren't pushing you towards decisions that are outside your responsibilities or aren't appropriate for the situation? This is where understanding your values becomes particularly useful. It's not simply about knowing what matters to you. It's about learning how to put those values into practice, including when the circumstances are uncomfortable. The difference between management and leadership I also explore how I think about the distinction between management and leadership. For me, management is often about helping people understand what needs to be done and, where appropriate, how to do it. Leadership is more about helping people understand how to think. And I think effective management needs to be grounded in personal self-leadership. Whether you're giving feedback, setting boundaries, delegating or making difficult decisions, the aim is to approach those responsibilities from a sturdy, grounded leadership position. Understanding your values is one part of developing that. Your experiences are part of your leadership style Your leadership style isn't just about your values. It's also shaped by your experiences, your motivations, your sense of purpose and the things you've learned throughout your career. One exercise I sometimes use with coaching clients is a life map. You draw a line across a page and plot significant experiences above or below it, depending on whether they felt positive or challenging. Then you look back over those experiences and begin to notice patterns. What felt particularly satisfying? What was difficult? How did you respond? What does that tell you about the way you naturally approach leadership? Sometimes you learn just as much about your leadership style by reflecting on what you've already done as you do by thinking about what you want to do next. Developing your own approach to leadership I don't think you need to become a particular type of leader. For example, I tend to lead from the middle rather than the front. I like experimenting, learning through experience and sharing what I've discovered with other people. Your approach might look quite different. The important thing is to understand what matters to you, how you want to show up and what you've learned about yourself along the way. And then to keep developing that approach intentionally. If you're just starting out in management, this can help you establish some useful foundations. And if you've been managing for years, it might be an opportunity to reflect on whether your current leadership style is still the one you want to practise. Have a go at the values exercise If you'd like somewhere practical to begin, download my free Grounded Manager Values Exercise. Get the Grounded Manager Values Exercise here And if you give it a try, I'd genuinely love to hear which values you settle on. You can email me at: [email protected]

The first few weeks of the academic year can be intense. Students have arrived, Welcome Week is behind us, teaching has begun, and after weeks of preparation, last-minute changes and unexpected challenges, things might finally be settling into something resembling business as usual. But even when the immediate demands begin to ease, it can take a little longer for our minds and bodies to slow down. And with uncertainty around budgets, restructures and institutional change, you might be carrying more than the usual start-of-term busyness. So this week's episode of Management Matters is something a little different. Rather than our usual discussion about management and leadership, I'm inviting you to take some time for yourself with a guided meditation. An opportunity to pause, acknowledge what you've already navigated and reconnect with your own judgement as you look towards the months ahead. Taking a moment to slow down When you're responsible for other people, it's easy to become accustomed to constantly thinking ahead. Anticipating problems. Making decisions. Supporting colleagues. Trying to create calm and stability for your team, even when things feel uncertain for you. In this meditation, we'll begin by slowing down and noticing how you're actually feeling. Not how you think you should be feeling, or how you're presenting yourself to everyone else. Just how you are. There's nothing you need to fix or work out in this moment. Recognising what you've already done One of the things I've noticed about people who care deeply about doing a good job is how quickly they move past their successes. There's always another problem to solve, another conversation to have or another thing that could have gone better. But you've already navigated the first few weeks of the academic year. You've made decisions, supported people, dealt with unexpected challenges and kept things moving. So I'll invite you to acknowledge some of that work and consider what it tells you about your strengths, your judgement and your capacity to handle what comes next. Because self-trust isn't about believing you'll always get everything right. It's about recognising that you already have experience of meeting challenges, making decisions, learning and adapting. Leading when you don't have all the answers For many people working in Higher Education, the months ahead may bring considerable uncertainty. You might be navigating a restructure, financial pressures, staffing changes or decisions that haven't yet been made. And when you're responsible for a team, it can feel uncomfortable not knowing what will happen. But you don't need to be able to predict or control everything to lead well. In this meditation, we'll explore the difference between the things happening around you and the things you can meaningfully influence. The conversations you choose to have. The information you share. The decisions that are yours to make. The way you respond to concerns. And the way you look after yourself. Sometimes doing more isn't the same as leading better. Finding your feet as a leader As we move towards the end of the meditation, I'll invite you to think about how you want to approach the next few weeks. Not simply what you want to achieve, but how you want to show up as a manager or leader. We'll reflect on three questions: What do I want to be known for as a leader this term? How do I want people to experience working with me? What is one thing I could do to help my team feel more stable and supported? What do I need to do differently to look after myself as I lead? You don't need to turn your answers into another to-do list. This is an opportunity to notice what feels important and give yourself permission to return to it when you're ready. A little time for yourself I'd encourage you to listen somewhere you can sit comfortably and give yourself some uninterrupted time. You can close your eyes if you'd like to, or simply soften your gaze. There's no particular outcome you're trying to achieve and nothing you need to get right. Just an opportunity to slow down, reflect and remember that you already have experience, judgement and the capacity to respond to what comes next. You don't need certainty to lead with integrity. You don't need to control everything to make a meaningful difference. And you don't need to wait until you feel completely confident before you act. You can trust yourself to find your way.

Are you competing at being busy? It feels as though everybody is busy at the moment. Ask someone how they are and "busy" is almost the default answer. Then someone else shares what they're dealing with, someone else adds theirs, and before long busyness has become a kind of competitive sport. There's bonding in the busyness. But what if you decided to step outside of that competition? In this episode, I'm exploring what it might take to find some balance in the busyness, without pretending that we're somehow going to make all the work disappear.  What do you actually want instead? I'm not someone who wants to eliminate busyness altogether. I'm actually quite happy being busy. But I want that busyness to feel in balance. I want to feel on top of things. I want to be well rested. And I think one of the problems with constantly bonding over how busy and overwhelmed we are is that we don't necessarily stop to ask ourselves a fairly important question: What do I actually want instead? Choosing a different experience can feel surprisingly countercultural when everyone around you is caught up in the same patterns. It requires you to step outside of the group and bet on yourself.  Boundaries need consequences Finding more balance might require you to set some boundaries. And boundaries aren't simply about saying what you would prefer. A boundary needs consequences and follow-through. If something bumps up against the boundary you've set, you need to be prepared to take the action you said you would take. That requires courage, particularly if setting boundaries isn't something you've practised much before.  I explored this in more detail in Episode 10: The Repeating Conversation Loop, which looks at the shift from repeatedly having the same supportive conversation to setting a clear boundary and following through. Listen to Episode 10: The Repeating Conversation Loop Finding congruence in the busyness Last week, in Episode 27: Searching for Peace of Mind, I talked about congruence: the alignment between who you believe yourself to be, how you think and what you actually do. That matters here too. Who are you if you're not busy all the time? Do you believe you're worthy of having your time respected and feeling on top of things? What do you believe about the work on your to-do list? And, perhaps most importantly, are you actually taking action on the plans you make for yourself? Because thinking about changing things and actually changing them aren't the same thing.  Listen to Episode 27: Searching for Peace of Mind Need some help getting on top of things? If the problem is that your to-do list feels overwhelming and you need some structure to work out what matters this week, come along to Strategy Hour. It's my completely free Monday morning drop-in session. Bring all your half-finished lists, notes and competing priorities, and we'll gather everything together, get it sorted and prioritised, and help you make a plan for the week ahead.  Join Strategy Hour If there's something else getting in the way, perhaps you know what you intend to do but aren't following through, you're struggling to set boundaries, or you're caught in a pattern you can't quite shift, coaching might be useful. Book an introductory call with me to talk about coaching The aim isn't an empty to-do list. There will always be more work. It's finding a way to match your energy to what needs doing, feel more on top of things and find some balance amid the busyness.

What does peace of mind actually look like when you have an active brain, a demanding job and plenty of things competing for your attention? In this episode, recorded while pottering around on my allotment, I'm exploring something I actively pursue in my own life: peace of mind. For me, a big part of finding it comes down to congruence, when who you believe yourself to be, how you think about things and what you actually do are all aligned. When your thoughts, identity and actions line up When we're in congruence, decisions can feel surprisingly straightforward. You know who you are. You know what you think. You know what the right action is for you. And then you do it. The difficulty comes when there's a gap between those things. We know what we want to do, but conditioning, other people's expectations or our own familiar patterns pull us towards something else. That's often where overthinking, overworking, overwhelm and overgiving begin to creep in. If you've noticed how uncomfortable it can feel to behave differently, I explored that in Episode 20: Why Does Habit Change Feel So Gross? Listen to Episode 20: Why Does Habit Change Feel So Gross? Closing the gap So if we're pursuing peace of mind, perhaps we also need to pursue congruence. That might mean exploring the kind of manager or leader you want to be and practising the behaviours that go with that identity. It might mean examining how you're thinking about a situation and opening up possibilities you haven't considered. Or it might simply mean experimenting with doing something differently, seeing what happens and learning from the result. And when doing something differently requires a bit of encouragement, Episode 7: How to Encourage Yourself explores how to support yourself through that process. Listen to Episode 7: How to Encourage Yourself Peace of mind doesn't mean eliminating stress I also talk about another important part of this: how well resourced you are. The aim isn't necessarily to eliminate stress. People can do brilliant work in demanding, high-pressure environments when they have the resources and practices that allow them to handle that stress well. As you become more senior, looking after yourself isn't simply an act of self-care. It's part of leadership. Your decision making, communication and emotional processing all rely on you retaining access to the cognitive resources that become much harder to use when your stress response takes over. If coping has become such a familiar response that it's started to feel like part of who you are, you might also find Episode 13: When Coping Becomes Your Identity useful. Listen to Episode 13: When Coping Becomes Your Identity Need some space to think? If your to-do list feels out of hand and some regular support to sort through everything would help, come along to Strategy Hour. It's completely free. You register once and can then join whenever you're available. Join Strategy Hour And if you're looking for longer-term support and like the way I approach this work, you're very welcome to get in touch: [email protected]

What actually is coaching? It's a question I've been thinking about a lot recently, partly after attending a conference where I found myself explaining my work to therapists, psychologists and other practitioners, and partly because I've been welcoming a new group of people to Strategy Hour. In this episode, I explore what coaching means in my practice, how it differs from training and consultancy, and when having someone to think with can be particularly useful. Sometimes you don't need another answer One of the things I hear most often is: "I just need some time to think." When work feels relentless and your to-do list seems to have grown arms and legs, sometimes you genuinely do need space to gather everything together, work out what matters and decide what happens next. But sometimes the thing you've been putting off isn't really a prioritisation problem. Perhaps you know what needs to happen, but you're worried about being judged. Perhaps there's a fear of failure sitting underneath it. Or perhaps something simply feels riskier than the rest of your to-do list. That's where coaching can become particularly useful. A person to think with I think of coaching as lending someone some extra mental bandwidth. You bring what's going on, and we use both of our brains to help you think through it. That's different from training, where I might teach you a particular process or set of skills. And it's different from consultancy, where I'd be giving you my view of what you should do. In coaching, I'm not there to give you the answer. I'm asking questions that help you see other possibilities, challenge some of your either/or thinking and make the best decision for your particular circumstances. When is coaching useful? My approach to coaching works particularly well when you have some range. You might feel overwhelmed or stuck, but fundamentally you know that if you could find enough space to think clearly, you could begin to work things out. My job is to help you get back to that sturdy, grounded part of yourself that can make decisions, understand what you want and consider different perspectives without getting completely waylaid by unhelpful thought patterns. Start with Strategy Hour If you're curious about what working with me is like, Strategy Hour is a really easy place to start. It's my completely free weekly drop-in session, held at 9.30am on Mondays. Bring the mental clutter, emails, meeting notes, unfinished to-do lists and all the other things competing for your attention. I'll facilitate a process to help you gather everything together, work out what belongs to you, prioritise what needs your attention and create a bit more mental capacity for the week ahead. You only need to register once, then you can come along to whichever sessions work for you. Register for Strategy Hour And if something comes up during that process that you think might benefit from coaching, we can have a conversation about whether coaching would be a good fit.  Got a question? If you've been wondering whether something you're dealing with is the sort of thing you could bring to coaching, I'd be very happy to talk about it. You can email me at: [email protected]

September has always had a bit of a New Year feeling for me. Perhaps that's inevitable when you work in Higher Education. The academic year begins another cycle, routines change and, after the summer, there's often a natural sense of starting again. So in this episode, I'm using that moment to invite you to notice some of the patterns that have become established in your life and work, and ask whether they're still serving you. What happens when someone makes the familiar "call"? We all develop patterns of call and response. Someone asks for help, so you automatically say yes. Something goes wrong, so you step in and fix it. Someone is unhappy, so you try to make it better. Your boss is stressed, so you speed up. There's too much work, so you work longer hours. These patterns aren't necessarily wrong. Most of them developed because, at some point, they were useful. The question is whether they're still useful now, or whether they've become so automatic that you're no longer consciously deciding how you want to respond. Start by noticing, not fixing The first step isn't deciding that you need to stop doing all of these things. It's simply noticing. What do you do on autopilot? What situations trigger a familiar response? Are there particular people whose behaviour seems to create the same response from you every time? Try to bring a reporter's eye to it rather than turning the exercise into another reason to criticise yourself. Once you can see the pattern clearly, you have more choice about what happens next. If you find yourself wanting to rush straight from noticing a pattern to changing everything, Episode 20: Why Habit Change Feels So Gross explores why changing familiar behaviours can feel so uncomfortable, even when we know the new behaviour will serve us better. Listen to Episode 20: Why Habit Change Feels So Gross here. What is the old pattern giving you? Before you change something, it's worth asking what you're getting from the existing pattern. It might be comfort. Control. Familiarity. Perhaps it supports a particular story you've carried about the sort of person you are. Changing the pattern might therefore require you to give something up. Sometimes that's physical comfort. Sometimes it's the ease of operating on autopilot. And sometimes it's loosening your attachment to other people's expectations of who you're supposed to be. Choose, then practise Once you've noticed and understood the pattern, you have a choice. You might decide that the existing response still works for you. That's fine. The important difference is that you're choosing it intentionally rather than criticising yourself every time it happens. Or you might choose a different response. That's when practice begins. Each time the familiar call appears, you choose the new response again. And again. And again. Eventually, what required conscious effort becomes the new automatic pattern. And if you need some support while you're putting in those repetitions, Episode 7: How to Encourage Yourself explores how to keep yourself moving when doing something differently feels difficult. Listen to Episode 7: How to Encourage Yourself here. Ready for the next step? If you're thinking about your next step into leadership, you can find out more about Getting Ready for Leadership here: Getting Ready for Leadership Got a question? Many episodes of Management Matters begin with themes emerging from my coaching conversations and questions from listeners. If there's a management, leadership or career question you'd like me to explore in a future episode, I'd love to hear from you. [email protected]

This episode is a little different. I'm recording from my allotment, surrounded by the buzz of the bees, and I wanted to take a few minutes to remind you of something you might have forgotten.  You're awesome. Summer can bring its own pressures and expectations, and if you're also thinking about your career or what might come next, it's surprisingly easy to lose sight of everything you already bring to the table.   When summer doesn't feel quite so wonderful I start by talking about the expectations we can place on summer to be this lovely, restorative time of year. In reality, it can be stressful. There are holidays, childcare, annual leave negotiations and, for many of us working in HE, particularly busy periods such as recruitment, admissions and Clearing. So this is partly a reminder that it's completely okay if summer isn't turning out to be the best moment ever.   The stories we carry about ourselves I also reflect on conversations I've been having with clients who are beginning to explore what they really want from their careers. That process can bring us up against some surprisingly deep stories about who we are, what we're capable of and what's available to "people like us". Those stories can come from family, education, culture or experiences much earlier in our lives. And sometimes we don't realise how much they're shaping our choices until we start asking ourselves what we actually want.   You get to rewrite the story One of the things I love about coaching is that we get to examine those stories rather than simply accepting them as facts. As adults, we can decide that some of the beliefs we've inherited don't fit anymore. We can look again at what might be possible, whether that's progressing further, learning something new, retraining or simply allowing ourselves to want something different.   A reminder if you've forgotten So this episode is simply a reminder. You're awesome. The stories you've been handed don't have to define what's possible for you, and you may be capable of far more than you're currently allowing yourself to imagine. And if you forget that again, you can always come back and listen to this episode.   Got a question? Many episodes of Management Matters begin with themes emerging from my coaching conversations and questions from listeners. If there's a management, leadership or career question you'd like me to explore in a future episode, I'd love to hear from you. [email protected]

Sometimes the thing holding us back isn’t confidence or courage. It’s information. In this episode, I explore a simple question that has come up repeatedly in coaching conversations recently: do you have enough information to move a management issue forward? Knowing your organisation’s policies and procedures can make difficult conversations clearer, more confident and much easier to navigate. Confidence comes from clarity Many managers delay difficult conversations because they feel uncertain about what comes next. I explore why taking time to revisit your institution’s policies on performance, misconduct or sickness absence can give you much more confidence when you’re addressing concerns with your team. Move beyond the repeating conversation If you’ve listened to previous episodes, you’ll know I’ve talked about the repeating conversation loop. This episode builds on that idea by looking at what allows you to move from supportive conversations into clearer boundary setting. Often, it’s understanding exactly where your organisation’s policies define the next stage of the process. Don’t wait for HR to tell you One of the key messages in this episode is that effective managers stay ahead of the process. Rather than waiting for HR to tell you when someone has reached a trigger point, understanding the relevant procedures allows you to manage situations proactively and on your own timeline. Build conviction before you need it Having the right information doesn’t mean threatening people with policies. It means knowing the language, the expectations and the escalation points well enough that you can have calm, confident conversations long before a formal process becomes necessary. Ready for the next step? If you’d like support developing the confidence to have these conversations and strengthen your management practice, you can find out more about my Getting Ready for Leadership programme here: https://www.fionabicket.co.uk/getting-ready-for-leadership Got a question? Many episodes of Management Matters begin with themes emerging from coaching conversations and questions from listeners. If there’s a management or leadership topic you’d like me to explore in a future episode, I’d love to hear from you. [email protected]

When should you start preparing for your next role? Many people only begin thinking about career progression when they’re frustrated in their current job or urgently looking for a way out. In this episode, I explore why that’s often too late, and why the real work of getting ready for your next grade starts much earlier than most people realise. Career development starts on day one One of the ideas I explore is that career development shouldn’t begin when you’re ready to apply for a promotion. Instead, it should become part of how you approach your role from the very beginning. The earlier you start developing the way you think, lead and make decisions, the more prepared you’ll be when the right opportunity appears. Progression is about more than skills In this episode, I reflect on the difference between collecting more responsibilities and becoming genuinely ready for the next level. I introduce the idea that progression is really about moving through a series of rites of passage: the leadership challenges that change how you think, not just what you do. The leadership shifts that matter most Delegation. Boundaries. Accountability. Difficult conversations. Creating leadership bandwidth. These aren’t simply management skills to master. They are experiences that gradually reshape your identity as a leader and help you demonstrate that you’re already operating at the next level before you apply for the role. Becoming the person who’s ready Perhaps the most important question isn’t “How do I get promoted?” Instead, it might be: "What are the rites of passage I need to go through to become the person who’s ready for that role?" Approaching your development this way creates confidence, stronger evidence for interviews, and a much more sustainable path towards leadership. Ready for the next step? If you’re preparing for your first senior leadership role, my Getting Ready for Leadership programme is designed to help you work through the leadership thresholds, build confidence, and become the person who’s genuinely ready for your next grade. https://www.fionabicket.co.uk/getting-ready-for-leadership Got a question? Many episodes of Management Matters begin with themes emerging from coaching conversations and questions from listeners. If there’s a management or leadership topic you’d like me to explore in a future episode, I’d love to hear from you. [email protected]

In this episode, I explore an idea that has shaped much of my coaching over the years: what if the challenges you're experiencing as a manager aren't really about skills?  Many of us spend years reading books, attending training and listening to podcasts, hoping to find the technique that will finally make difficult conversations, delegation or leadership feel easier. But what if the real work sits somewhere deeper? When more knowledge isn't the answer In this episode, I reflect on why so many thoughtful managers continue to struggle despite investing heavily in their own development. Skills matter, of course. But I rarely find that a lack of knowledge is the real barrier. More often, it's the story we're carrying about who we need to be in order to feel safe, accepted or successful. The identity underneath the challenge I talk about what happens before the difficult conversation has even begun. Our minds often create elaborate stories about rejection, conflict or disappointing other people, leaving us anxious before anything has actually happened. These imagined outcomes can keep us stuck far more effectively than a lack of management skills ever could. Why coaching feels different from training I also explore why coaching often goes somewhere that training doesn't. Rather than simply learning another communication model or leadership framework, coaching creates space to examine the beliefs, fears and assumptions that sit underneath our behaviour. When those begin to shift, new ways of leading become much easier to sustain. Becoming the manager you already know you can be The real shift is not just learning new techniques. It's gradually seeing yourself differently. As you experiment with new behaviours and discover they are safer than you expected, your confidence grows naturally. You stop trying to become a different person and instead become more fully the leader you're capable of being. Ready for the next step? If you're finding that more books, podcasts and courses aren't quite shifting the things that feel hardest in management, my programme explores the deeper identity shifts that support confident leadership and career progression. https://www.fionabicket.co.uk/getting-ready-for-your-next-grade Got a question? Many episodes of Management Matters begin with conversations I'm having with coaching clients or questions from listeners. If there's a management or leadership challenge you'd like me to explore in a future episode, I'd love to hear from you. [email protected]

In this episode, I step back from the individual leadership thresholds I’ve been exploring recently and talk about something that sits underneath all of them: why changing the way we manage can feel so uncomfortable. If you’ve ever wondered why you know what you need to do but still find yourself slipping back into old habits, this episode is for you. I explore what’s happening beneath the surface and why discomfort is often a sign that meaningful change is taking place.  Why change feels uncomfortable In this episode, I talk about the emotional side of changing long established management habits. When you begin setting firmer boundaries, delegating more, or leading with greater confidence, it’s common to experience feelings that make you question yourself. Rather than seeing those feelings as a sign to stop, I explore how they can be understood as part of the learning process.  Rethinking guilt and discomfort I also explore a feeling that many managers describe as guilt. Often, what feels like guilt is actually the discomfort of behaving differently, especially if your natural tendency is to keep people happy or avoid conflict. I reflect on why it’s helpful to pause and ask whether you’ve really done something wrong, or whether you’re simply stretching beyond familiar patterns.  Giving people time to adjust One of the most important ideas in this episode is recognising that other people need time to adapt too. As you begin managing differently, those around you may initially resist the change because they’re used to the old version of you. That doesn’t necessarily mean you’re doing the wrong thing. Sometimes it simply means everyone is adjusting to a new pattern.  Keep going through the uncomfortable bit Real leadership development isn’t about feeling confident from day one. It’s about practising new behaviours, building evidence that they work, and trusting that confidence often comes after repeated action, not before it. The uncomfortable middle is often where the most important growth happens.  Ready for the next step? If you’re working through one of these leadership thresholds and would like support putting the changes into practice, my programme explores the practical and psychological shifts involved in becoming a more confident manager and leader. https://www.fionabicket.co.uk/getting-ready-for-your-next-grade Got a question? Many of these episodes begin with patterns I see in coaching conversations or questions from listeners. If there’s a management challenge or leadership question you’d like me to explore in a future episode, I’d love to hear from you. [email protected]

In this episode, I wrap up my series on the leadership thresholds managers encounter as they progress through their careers by returning to the very beginning. I explore one of the most significant transitions of all: becoming a manager for the first time. In particular, I talk about what happens when you’re promoted from within your own team and suddenly find yourself leading people who were previously your peers.  Why the first management role feels so uncomfortable In this episode, I explore the tension many new managers experience when they want to maintain good relationships whilst also stepping into authority. It is common to avoid difficult conversations, delay feedback or hope that being nice will be enough. But leadership often asks something different of us. I talk about why this tension is so common and why it can quietly undermine trust if it isn’t addressed.  From messenger to manager A key theme in this episode is learning to own your decisions. Many first time managers find themselves checking upwards, passing decisions on to their own manager, or positioning someone else as the person saying no. I explore why this happens and why clear, confident communication helps build trust with both your team and senior leaders.  Firm, fair and clear I also reflect on the difference between being nice and being kind. Clear expectations, timely feedback and healthy boundaries often feel uncomfortable at first. Yet they create psychological safety because people understand where they stand. Leadership is not about becoming harsher. It is about becoming clearer.  The foundation for every leadership threshold This first management threshold underpins so many of the others. Learning to hold authority with confidence makes later challenges around delegation, boundaries and leadership much easier to navigate. It is not about becoming a different person. It is about growing into a more confident version of the manager you are already becoming.  Ready for the next step? If you are preparing for progression or navigating your first management role, my programme explores the practical and internal shifts that help you develop as a confident leader. https://www.fionabicket.co.uk/getting-ready-for-your-next-grade Got a question? Many of these episodes begin with patterns I see in coaching conversations or questions from listeners. If there is something you would like me to explore in a future episode, feel free to get in touch. [email protected]

In this episode, I explore a question I hear regularly from thoughtful, capable professionals: how do you get your voice heard when you’re surrounded by louder, faster, more extroverted colleagues? I talk about the false choice many people feel trapped between, either staying quiet or becoming someone they are not. I explore why quiet communication can be a genuine leadership strength and how to build influence without performing extroversion.  The myth of loud leadership In this episode, I reflect on the belief that leadership requires being the loudest person in the room. Many of the people I coach are highly capable, trusted professionals who have progressed through reliability, expertise and good judgement. Yet they worry that their quieter communication style will eventually become a barrier to progression. I explore why leadership does not need to look loud, fast or politically performative to be effective.  Moving beyond black and white thinking One of the coaching tools I share is a simple spectrum exercise. Many people see only two options: staying invisible or becoming aggressive and dominant. When we unpack that thinking, we often discover a much wider range of possibilities in between. Progression does not require you to become someone else. It often involves taking up a little more space whilst remaining true to your own style.  Leaning into your existing strengths I talk about the strengths that quieter communicators often underestimate. Many are excellent one-to-one influencers. They build strong relationships, write thoughtful papers, spot patterns others miss, and bring a level of consideration that helps teams make better decisions. Rather than focusing only on areas that feel uncomfortable, I encourage listeners to build from the strengths they already have.  Communicating with the authority you already have A key theme in this episode is permission. Permission to trust your expertise. Permission to communicate in ways that feel authentic. Permission to recognise that calm, thoughtful leadership is not a weakness but a valuable contribution. The sector needs people who bring stability, reflection and considered judgement, particularly during uncertain times.  Ready for the next step? If you are preparing for progression and want support to develop your confidence, influence and leadership presence in a way that feels authentic to you, my programme explores the practical and internal shifts involved in moving towards more senior roles. Getting Ready for your Next Grade Got a question? Many of these episodes begin with patterns I see in coaching conversations or questions from listeners. If there is something you would like me to explore in a future episode, feel free to get in touch. [email protected]