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Does body count actually matter when you’re deciding whether to date someone? For many Christian singles, the number of people someone has slept with can feel loaded with meaning. It can bring up questions about faith, sexual compatibility, trust, comparison, and whether someone’s past tells you something important about who they are today. Lauren and Bridgett explore why sexual history does matter, but a number may tell you far less than you think. Two people can have similar pasts on paper and have completely different relationships with their sexuality now. And someone with little or no sexual experience isn’t automatically more prepared for healthy intimacy than someone whose story looks very different. So if body count isn’t enough information, what should we actually be paying attention to? This conversation looks beyond the number toward sexual integrity, the stories and fears we bring into dating, and how two people can begin talking honestly about the past without letting shame or judgment take over the conversation. Watch this episode on YouTube If something in this episode resonated with you, here are two ways to go deeper depending on what you need: 🩷 Work with Bridgett You don’t need more rules. You need a deeper understanding of your sexual desire.If you still feel confused about how to navigate dating without shutting down or crossing your boundaries, Bridgett helps you build sexual self-trust and honor your values → ⁠⁠⁠ RECLAIM Cohort⁠⁠⁠ 📓 ⁠⁠⁠Free Guides and Ecourse⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠   💙 Work with Lauren If you’re feeling unsure what to do next— whether that’s meeting people, choosing who to pursue, or trusting your judgment in dating, Lauren helps you move forward with clarity and confidence. → Work with Lauren 📔 Get the free guide ⁠⁠⁠Dating Apps Don’t Have to Be Confusing⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠ Have more questions? Email us at [email protected]

Can you actually stay friends with an ex, or with someone you’ve hooked up with? A listener question gets Lauren and Bridgett talking about what happens when a romantic or sexual connection ends but the other person is still part of your church, friend group, workplace, or everyday life. Rather than giving one rule for every situation, they talk through what matters: how serious the relationship was, how intertwined your lives became, what kind of connection you’re hoping to have now, and whether staying close is actually helping either person move forward. They also get honest about the ways “let’s just be friends” can mean very different things. Sometimes friendship is genuinely possible. Other times it becomes a way to stay emotionally attached, keep receiving scraps of connection, or avoid accepting that the relationship has ended. Lauren and Bridgett talk about giving your heart enough space to reset, resisting the pressure to choose sides after a breakup, and why churches need to become places where people can date, break up, grieve, and still belong to the same community. The conversation gets even more complicated when the relationship began with a hookup, a fling, or another sexual experience. What were you actually looking for in that connection? Were you longing to feel chosen, close, wanted, or known? And if you decide to remain friends, what boundaries would help that friendship actually become friendship instead of a quieter version of the same relationship? This episode is less about finding a universal rule and more about being honest about what you want, what the relationship really is, and whether the way you’re staying connected lines up with the life and love you ultimately want to build. WATCH THIS EPISODE ON YOUTUBE If something in this episode resonated with you, here are two ways to go deeper depending on what you need: 🩷 Work with Bridgett You don’t need more rules. You need a deeper understanding of your sexual desire.If you still feel confused about how to navigate dating without shutting down or crossing your boundaries, Bridgett helps you build sexual self-trust and honor your values → ⁠⁠⁠ RECLAIM Cohort⁠⁠⁠ 📓 ⁠⁠⁠Free Guides and Ecourse⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠   💙 Work with Lauren If you’re feeling unsure what to do next— whether that’s meeting people, choosing who to pursue, or trusting your judgment in dating, Lauren helps you move forward with clarity and confidence. → Work with Lauren 📔 Get the free guide ⁠⁠⁠Dating Apps Don’t Have to Be Confusing⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠ Have more questions? Email us at [email protected]

Cedric Dale Hoard, mental health therapist, spoken word artist, and author, joins Lauren and Bridgett to talk about the messages Christian men often receive about desire, lust, masculinity, and relationships. Drawing from his work with men and his own experience, Cedric looks at how purity culture can leave men ashamed of attraction or afraid of desire without helping them understand what may be happening underneath it.The conversation gets practical about what healthier dating can look like. What do you do when someone you like is not ready for physical affection? How can a man say no to sexual attention without feeling weak? What is the difference between attraction and lust? Cedric talks about emotional regulation, boundaries, vulnerability, and learning to express disappointment without turning it into pressure or manipulation.They also talk about male friendship, loneliness, and what happens when men begin to let safe people really know them. For men who want to date and love well, this episode offers a way to move beyond shame without pretending desire does not exist. And for women who care about the men in their lives, it offers a fuller picture of the emotional work many men are doing to become healthier partners, husbands, fathers, and friends. WATCH THIS EPISODE ON YOUTUBESHOW RESOURCESThe Head & The CrownAnchored In LightCONNECT WITH CEDRIC HOARDWebsite: https://cedricdalehoard.comInstagram: @cedricdalehoard If something in this episode resonated with you, here are two ways to go deeper depending on what you need: 🩷 Work with Bridgett You don’t need more rules. You need a deeper understanding of your sexual desire.If you still feel confused about how to navigate dating without shutting down or crossing your boundaries, Bridgett helps you build sexual self-trust and honor your values → ⁠⁠⁠ RECLAIM Cohort⁠⁠⁠ 📓 ⁠⁠⁠Free Guides and Ecourse⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠   💙 Work with Lauren If you’re feeling unsure what to do next— whether that’s meeting people, choosing who to pursue, or trusting your judgment in dating, Lauren helps you move forward with clarity and confidence. → Work with Lauren 📔 Get the free guide ⁠⁠⁠Dating Apps Don’t Have to Be Confusing⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠ Have more questions? Email us at [email protected]

Being single for a long time changes the way you build your life. You learn your routines, make your own decisions, carry your own responsibilities, and often become very good at doing life on your own. Lauren and Bridgett talk about what happens when you genuinely enjoy the life you have built but still want someone to share it with. They get honest about the good and hard parts of long-term singleness, from knowing yourself well to carrying the financial and mental load alone. They also explore what can happen when independence becomes hard to give up, when preferences start turning into requirements, and when dating feels harder because you have spent years building a life that already works. If you have been single for years and wonder whether you have become too independent, too selective, or just tired of trying, this episode is for you. How do you stay open to love without putting your life on hold? How do you make room for grief when dating hurts? And how do you keep taking small risks when you do not know how the story will turn out? WATCH THIS EPISODE ON YOUTUBE If something in this episode resonated with you, here are two ways to go deeper depending on what you need: 🩷 Work with Bridgett You don’t need more rules. You need a deeper understanding of your sexual desire.If you still feel confused about how to navigate dating without shutting down or crossing your boundaries, Bridgett helps you build sexual self-trust and honor your values → ⁠⁠⁠ RECLAIM Cohort⁠⁠⁠ 📓 ⁠⁠⁠Free Guides and Ecourse⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠   💙 Work with Lauren If you’re feeling unsure what to do next— whether that’s meeting people, choosing who to pursue, or trusting your judgment in dating, Lauren helps you move forward with clarity and confidence. → Work with Lauren 📔 Get the free guide ⁠⁠⁠Dating Apps Don’t Have to Be Confusing⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠ Have more questions? Email us at [email protected]

Dr. Camden Morgante, psychologist and author of Recovering from Purity Culture, joins Lauren and Bridgett for a conversation about dating after deconstruction and what it looks like to rethink the beliefs you inherited about faith, sexuality, and relationships. Drawing from both her clinical work and her own purity culture experience, Camden offers a hopeful reminder: you do not have to have your faith completely figured out before you can date, connect, and keep discovering what you believe. The deeper tension is that purity culture often promised certainty. Stay pure, follow the rules, find the right Christian spouse, and a good marriage would follow. When that formula begins to fall apart, dating can feel confusing. Together, they explore how to move beyond the pressure to make every date a potential marriage, loosen rigid ideas about the “perfect” Christian partner, and approach dating with more curiosity, self-trust, and room to grow. For anyone recovering from purity culture while still wanting faith to remain part of their dating life, this conversation offers a way forward without simply replacing one rulebook with another. What to pay attention to… is whether your relationships are helping you grow in honesty, wisdom, safety, mutuality, and connection. Healing is not about getting every belief or boundary perfectly settled first. It is about becoming more free to date, discern, and love with integrity. WATCH THIS EPISODE ON YOUTUBE SHOW RESOURCES Book: Recovering from Purity Culture by Dr. Camden Morgante CONNECT WITH DR. CAMDEN MORGANTE WebsiteInstagram: @DrCamden If something in this episode resonated with you, here are two ways to go deeper depending on what you need: 🩷 Work with Bridgett You don’t need more rules. You need a deeper understanding of your sexual desire.If you still feel confused about how to navigate dating without shutting down or crossing your boundaries, Bridgett helps you build sexual self-trust and honor your values → ⁠⁠⁠ RECLAIM Cohort⁠⁠⁠ 📓 ⁠⁠⁠Free Guides and Ecourse⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠   💙 Work with Lauren If you’re feeling unsure what to do next— whether that’s meeting people, choosing who to pursue, or trusting your judgment in dating, Lauren helps you move forward with clarity and confidence. → Work with Lauren 📔 Get the free guide ⁠⁠⁠Dating Apps Don’t Have to Be Confusing⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠ Have more questions? Email us at [email protected]

Kendra LeeAnne Kuntz, a gospel-centered Bible teacher and writer, joins Lauren and Bridgett for a conversation about divorce, healing, and what it means to risk your heart again after an abusive marriage. Drawing from her own story, Kendra shares how well-meaning Christian teaching about purity, submission, and marriage shaped the way she understood herself, and why it took leaving her marriage to begin recognizing some of what she had been living through as abuse. The deeper tension here is that Scripture and the character of God can become distorted when marriage is treated as something that must be preserved at the expense of safety, dignity, or truth. Kendra talks about learning to separate God's character from the messages she had absorbed, the pastors and community who helped carry her through divorce, and why conversations about biblical divorce and remarriage need more humility, discernment, and room for redemption. But this episode does not stop at what went wrong. Kendra shares what helped her begin trusting herself again, including therapy, learning to recognize red flags, and inviting trusted people into her dating life. Lauren, Bridgett, and Kendra also talk honestly about attraction and compatibility, dating with children, when to introduce a new partner to your family, and the fear that divorce or motherhood may have somehow made you too complicated to be chosen again. For anyone wondering whether healthy love is still possible after heartbreak, this conversation offers a deeply hopeful picture of what can come next. Healing does not require pretending the past did not happen, and wisdom does not mean closing your heart forever. What to pay attention to… is whether you are becoming more able to use your voice, trust what you are noticing, welcome safe people into your discernment, and choose a relationship where you and the people you love are treated as a blessing rather than a burden. Watch this episode on YouTube SHOW RESOURCES What the Bible Actually Says About Divorce: Kendra's larger Bible study explores difficult passages surrounding divorce and what Scripture actually says about the topic. https://www.kendraleeanne.com/store/p2/whatthebibleactuallysaysaboutdivorce.htmlKendra also offers mini studies addressing difficult-to-understand Bible verses and questions surrounding abuse and divorce for Christians: https://www.kendraleeanne.com/store/c3/Mini_Scripture_Studies.htmlCONNECT WITH KENDRA WebsiteInstagram: @kendraleeanneSubstackFacebookWant help applying this to your dating life?If something in this episode resonated with you, here are two ways to go deeper depending on what you need: 🩷 Work with Bridgett You don’t need more rules. You need a deeper understanding of your sexual desire.If you still feel confused about how to navigate dating without shutting down or crossing your boundaries, Bridgett helps you build sexual self-trust and honor your values → ⁠⁠⁠ RECLAIM Cohort⁠⁠⁠ 📓 ⁠⁠⁠Free Guides and Ecourse⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠   💙 Work with Lauren If you’re feeling unsure what to do next— whether that’s meeting people, choosing who to pursue, or trusting your judgment in dating, Lauren helps you move forward with clarity and confidence. → Work with Lauren 📔 Get the free guide ⁠⁠⁠Dating Apps Don’t Have to Be Confusing⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠ Have more questions? Email us at [email protected]

Ellie Berry, a Sexual Addiction and Recovery coach, joins Lauren and Bridgett for an honest conversation about women, pornography, and what the path toward real freedom can look like. Drawing from her own experience with pornography addiction and recovery, Ellie names the isolation many women carry when their story does not fit the common assumption that pornography is primarily a man's struggle. Together, they explore why healing takes more than shame, willpower, or simply trying harder. Ellie shares how understanding triggers and the brain's addiction cycle changed the way she understood recovery, why telling a safe person became such an important part of her own healing, and what it can look like to become curious about the deeper needs for connection, relief, pleasure, and care underneath unwanted sexual behavior. The conversation also makes room for a question many Christian women may not know how to ask: What do I do with sexual desire when I'm single, recovering, or choosing not to act on it? Lauren, Bridgett, and Ellie talk about learning to listen to the body without treating desire as dirty or dangerous, finding healthy ways to move that energy toward life and connection, and discovering that sexual wholeness is about much more than whether or not a particular behavior stops. For any woman who has struggled quietly, wondered whether she is the only one, or felt like she should have figured this out by now, this episode offers both practical first steps and a deeply hopeful picture of recovery. And for the friend who may someday be trusted with someone's story, it offers guidance for how to respond with care instead of shame. Through it all is a reminder that healing does not begin with earning your way back to God. His delight has not disappeared because you struggle. WATCH THIS EPISODE ON YOUTUBE SHOW RESOURCES Beyond the Porn Phenomenon from Pure Desire Ministries and Barna GroupFight the New DrugEllie offers a free First Steps in Recovery PDF for women who want to begin taking immediate steps toward healing and recovery. CONNECT WITH ELLIE BERRY - Website - Instagram: @elliebe_ - Ellie also offers an individual coaching package that includes six sessions over three months for women who want more personalized support in their recovery journey. ABOUT ELLIE BERRY Ellie Berry is a Sexual Addiction and Recovery coach based in Northern Idaho who is passionate about empowering and equipping women through individual coaching, resources, and group sessions.Outside of her coaching work, Ellie is getting back into running as a hobby and enjoys sitting in a cute coffee shop and walking her two golden retrievers, Margo and Maple. Want help applying this to your dating life? If something in this episode resonated with you, here are two ways to go deeper depending on what you need: 🩷 Work with Bridgett You don’t need more rules. You need a deeper understanding of your sexual desire.If you still feel confused about how to navigate dating without shutting down or crossing your boundaries, Bridgett helps you build sexual self-trust and honor your values → ⁠⁠⁠ RECLAIM Cohort⁠⁠⁠ 📓 ⁠⁠⁠Free Guides and Ecourse⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠   💙 Work with Lauren If you’re feeling unsure what to do next— whether that’s meeting people, choosing who to pursue, or trusting your judgment in dating, Lauren helps you move forward with clarity and confidence. → Work with Lauren 📔 Get the free guide ⁠⁠⁠Dating Apps Don’t Have to Be Confusing⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠ Have more questions? Email us at [email protected]

Have you ever been told dating should feel easy, that the right person will show up when you stop looking, or that maybe you’re just being too picky? In this episode of Dating & Desire, Lauren and Bridgett unpack some of the Christian dating advice singles hear over and over and ask whether it’s actually helping. They talk about why anxiety doesn’t always mean a relationship is wrong, why dating is meant to be a process of discovery rather than a search for certainty, and why finding love still requires the courage to risk being disappointed. They also get honest about attraction, standards, and the fear of settling. How much attraction is enough? Do your standards need to change as you get older? And how do you know when you’re wisely adjusting expectations versus making yourself smaller just to make a relationship work? Because dating doesn’t come with guarantees. The invitation is not to eliminate every risk, but to become more honest about what you want, more willing to move toward connection, and more discerning about the kind of relationship that gives both people room to grow. Watch this episode on YouTube Want help applying this to your dating life? If something in this episode resonated with you, here are two ways to go deeper depending on what you need: 🩷 Work with Bridgett You don’t need more rules. You need a deeper understanding of your sexual desire.If you still feel confused about how to navigate dating without shutting down or crossing your boundaries, Bridgett helps you build sexual self-trust and honor your values → ⁠⁠⁠ RECLAIM Cohort⁠⁠⁠ 📓 ⁠⁠⁠Free Guides and Ecourse⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠   💙 Work with Lauren If you’re feeling unsure what to do next— whether that’s meeting people, choosing who to pursue, or trusting your judgment in dating, Lauren helps you move forward with clarity and confidence. → Work with Lauren 📔 Get the free guide ⁠⁠⁠Dating Apps Don’t Have to Be Confusing⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠ Have more questions? Email us at [email protected]

If you're waiting until marriage to have sex, how can you know if you and the person you're dating are sexually compatible? Lauren and Bridgett explore what sexual compatibility can look like long before sex enters the relationship. Rather than treating compatibility as something you can only discover through sexual activity, they look at the ways attraction, emotional safety, boundaries, honesty, and the ability to stay connected through disagreement can reveal how someone may eventually show up in sexual intimacy. Because marriage doesn't suddenly create mutuality, respect, or sexual health. The patterns you practice while dating matter, including how you respond to vulnerability, how you navigate physical boundaries, and how each person takes responsibility for their own sexual integrity. If you're dating toward marriage while honoring abstinence, this conversation is an invitation to ask not just, "Are we sexually compatible?" but, "What is the way we relate to each other now revealing about the kind of intimacy we could build together?" Watch this episode on YouTube How to discuss p•rn in dating: Download Discussion Guide Read Article on PureDesire.org Want help applying this to your dating life? If something in this episode resonated with you, here are two ways to go deeper depending on what you need: 🩷 Work with Bridgett You don’t need more rules. You need a deeper understanding of your sexual desire.If you still feel confused about how to navigate dating without shutting down or crossing your boundaries, Bridgett helps you build sexual self-trust and honor your values → ⁠⁠⁠ RECLAIM Cohort⁠⁠⁠ 📓 ⁠⁠⁠Free Guides and Ecourse⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠   💙 Work with Lauren If you’re feeling unsure what to do next— whether that’s meeting people, choosing who to pursue, or trusting your judgment in dating, Lauren helps you move forward with clarity and confidence. → Work with Lauren 📔 Get the free guide ⁠⁠⁠Dating Apps Don’t Have to Be Confusing⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠ Have more questions? Email us at [email protected]

Dr. Glenn and Phyllis Hill, the couple behind Connection Codes, offer a grounded and hopeful vision for emotional connection in dating, marriage, and everyday relationships. Their own story includes a painful start to marriage, years of misunderstanding, and a later discovery that emotional language could change everything about how they loved and understood one another. The deeper tension here is that many Christian spaces have emphasized behavior while leaving people emotionally under-formed. Desire, sexual connection, conflict, disappointment, and fear all live in the body, but without language, they often become silence, shame, or distance. Glenn and Phyllis help make emotion feel less threatening and more like a God-given pathway toward connection. For anyone dating or discerning a relationship, this conversation gives permission to bring your authentic self forward with wisdom. What to pay attention to… is not only chemistry or shared values, but whether emotional honesty creates more closeness or more confusion. Healthy connection grows through clarity, discernment, and self-trust. Watch this episode on YouTube Connect with Dr Glenn & Phyllis Hill Website: https://connectioncodes.co/ - USE CODE RYL20 for 20% off Foundations CourseInstagram: http://instagram.com/connectioncodes Want help applying this to your dating life? If something in this episode resonated with you, here are two ways to go deeper depending on what you need: 🩷 Work with Bridgett You don’t need more rules. You need a deeper understanding of your sexual desire.If you still feel confused about how to navigate dating without shutting down or crossing your boundaries, Bridgett helps you build sexual self-trust and honor your values → ⁠⁠⁠ RECLAIM Cohort⁠⁠⁠ 📓 ⁠⁠⁠Free Guides and Ecourse⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠   💙 Work with Lauren If you’re feeling unsure what to do next— whether that’s meeting people, choosing who to pursue, or trusting your judgment in dating, Lauren helps you move forward with clarity and confidence. → Work with Lauren 📔 Get the free guide ⁠⁠⁠Dating Apps Don’t Have to Be Confusing⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠ Have more questions? Email us at [email protected]

Lauren and Bridgett tackle one of the hardest parts of dating: Breakups. From the disappointment of ending early connections to the heartbreak of losing a relationship you thought might become your forever person, they explore what it means to grieve with honesty, dignity, and self-trust. Because dating requires risk, and risk sometimes leads to loss. Instead of minimizing grief, over-spiritualizing it, or avoiding hard conversations, they offer a different path: ownership, kindness, and compassion for your own heart. If you're discerning or healing from a breakup, this conversation is an invitation to ask not just, "How do I move on?" but, "What did this experience reveal about where I need to grow and what I really want in a partner ?" Watch this episode on YouTube Want help applying this to your dating life? If something in this episode resonated with you, here are two ways to go deeper depending on what you need: 🩷 Work with Bridgett You don’t need more rules. You need a deeper understanding of your sexual desire.If you still feel confused about how to navigate dating without shutting down or crossing your boundaries, Bridgett helps you build sexual self-trust and honor your values → ⁠⁠⁠ RECLAIM Cohort⁠⁠⁠ 📓 ⁠⁠⁠Free Guides and Ecourse⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠   💙 Work with Lauren If you’re feeling unsure what to do next— whether that’s meeting people, choosing who to pursue, or trusting your judgment in dating, Lauren helps you move forward with clarity and confidence. → Work with Lauren 📔 Get the free guide ⁠⁠⁠Dating Apps Don’t Have to Be Confusing⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠ Have more questions? Email us at [email protected]

Tabitha Westbrook, a trauma therapist and author, brings clarity, courage, and compassion to the tender realities of sexual abuse, healing, and dating after harm. With deep honesty and a fierce belief in God’s good design, she helps name what has been distorted, what has been taken, and what restoration can actually look like. A central tension in this conversation is how often abuse is hidden under confusion, grooming, niceness, spiritual language, or pressure that slowly erodes a person’s boundaries. Tabitha speaks directly to the body’s experience of fear, freezing, shame, and self-doubt, while reminding listeners that consent, dignity, and personhood matter deeply to God. Her teaching offers a path toward formation that is honest, embodied, and full of integrity. Healing is not about pretending the harm did not happen or rushing back into romance before the story has been tended. It is about reclaiming wholeness, learning to recognize coercion, honoring the body’s wisdom, and rebuilding connection with God, self, and safe community. For anyone dating after pain, or wondering whether healthy sexuality can still be possible, this conversation is a compassionate invitation to slow down and trust what your body is telling you. What to pay attention to… is whether someone respects your no, honors your personhood, receives your boundaries, and helps you feel more safe, clear, and whole. That is where discernment, clarity, and self-trust begin to return. Watch this episode on YouTube Connect with Tabitha Westbrook Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tabithathecounselor/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/_tjatpFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/TabithaTheCounselorFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/thejourneyandtheprocess Mindful Connection - faith-based, self-paced skills course on mindfulness which includes a private podcast. Use code MINDFUL for 80% off. Want help applying this to your dating life? If something in this episode resonated with you, here are two ways to go deeper depending on what you need: 🩷 Work with Bridgett You don’t need more rules. You need a deeper understanding of your sexual desire.If you still feel confused about how to navigate dating without shutting down or crossing your boundaries, Bridgett helps you build sexual self-trust and honor your values → ⁠⁠⁠ RECLAIM Cohort⁠⁠⁠ 📓 ⁠⁠⁠Free Guides and Ecourse⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠   💙 Work with Lauren If you’re feeling unsure what to do next— whether that’s meeting people, choosing who to pursue, or trusting your judgment in dating, Lauren helps you move forward with clarity and confidence. → Work with Lauren 📔 Get the free guide ⁠⁠⁠Dating Apps Don’t Have to Be Confusing⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠ Have more questions? Email us at [email protected]

Dr. Jake Porter, a couples therapist who specializes in betrayal and repair, offers a grounded conversation about how people actually grow in faith, love, and relational maturity. With insight from neuroscience, Scripture, and human development, he helps name why dating is not just about finding the right person, but about becoming someone capable of healthy connection. The deeper tension here is that many of us interpret struggle as failure. If a relationship feels hard, if desire feels complicated, or if conflict appears early, we may assume something is wrong. Jake reframes those moments as opportunities for formation, where the body, the nervous system, and the Spirit meet us in the real work of learning how to love. His teaching moves beyond information and into embodied integrity. We are not formed only by what we believe, but by what we practice: how we text, how we show up, how we repair, how we tell the truth, and how we stay present when connection becomes complex. Wholeness grows as we learn to name rupture, move toward repair, and let relationship become part of our formation. For dating and relationships, this matters because healthy love is not built by avoiding all discomfort. What to pay attention to… is whether you can be honest about what is happening, stay curious instead of reactive, and notice if the relationship is helping you become more grounded, connected, and whole. That is where discernment, clarity, and self-trust begin to take shape. Connect with Dr. Jake Porter InstagramFacebookLinkedInYouTubeeBook and webinar on healing from betrayal for $9: https://helpafterbetrayal.com/ Want help applying this to your dating life? If something in this episode resonated with you, here are two ways to go deeper depending on what you need: 🩷 Work with Bridgett You don’t need more rules. You need a deeper understanding of your sexual desire.If you still feel confused about how to navigate dating without shutting down or crossing your boundaries, Bridgett helps you build sexual self-trust and honor your values → ⁠⁠⁠ RECLAIM Cohort⁠⁠⁠ 📓 ⁠⁠⁠Free Guides and Ecourse⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠   💙 Work with Lauren If you’re feeling unsure what to do next— whether that’s meeting people, choosing who to pursue, or trusting your judgment in dating, Lauren helps you move forward with clarity and confidence. → Work with Lauren 📔 Get the free guide ⁠⁠⁠Dating Apps Don’t Have to Be Confusing⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠ Have more questions? Email us at [email protected]

Dr. Carol Tanksley, a physician and minister, brings a rare blend of medical wisdom, theological depth, and lived experience to the conversation around singleness and sexuality. Having lived through long-term singleness, a cherished marriage, widowhood, and singleness again, she speaks with honesty about desire, intimacy, the body, and what healthy sexual formation actually takes. One of the deeper tensions she names is the way many singles have been given information about what not to do, but very little formation around what to do with longing, touch, sexual desire, and the need to be known. Dr. Carol invites a more embodied understanding of discipleship, one that does not reduce desire to sin or collapse intimacy into sexual activity, but honors the emotional reality beneath the ache. Her teaching moves toward a more connected vision of integrity, wholeness, and life in the light. Rather than relying on fear, rigid rules, or surface-level accountability, she points to the kind of formation that happens when desire is brought to Jesus, trusted community, and wise discernment. This is not about hiding the heart behind walls, but learning how to steward longing with honesty, maturity, and love. For anyone dating, healing, or navigating singleness, this conversation offers a slower and more trustworthy way. What to pay attention to… is what comes alive in you around another person, where your longing is asking for care, and whether that desire can be held with peace, connection, and trust. Healthy love begins with discernment, clarity, and self-trust. Watch this episode on YouTube Connect with Dr. Carol Tanksley WebsiteYouTubeInstagramFacebookIn-person IntensivesHer book, SexpectationsIf something in this episode resonated with you, here are two ways to go deeper depending on what you need: 🩷 Work with Bridgett You don’t need more rules. You need a deeper understanding of your sexual desire.If you still feel confused about how to navigate dating without shutting down or crossing your boundaries, Bridgett helps you build sexual self-trust and honor your values → ⁠⁠⁠ RECLAIM Cohort⁠⁠⁠ 📓 ⁠⁠⁠Free Guides and Ecourse⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠   💙 Work with Lauren If you’re feeling unsure what to do next— whether that’s meeting people, choosing who to pursue, or trusting your judgment in dating, Lauren helps you move forward with clarity and confidence. → Work with Lauren → Coming in July: The Mid-Summer Dating Reset→ ⁠⁠⁠Book a Dating Clarity Call⁠⁠⁠ We’ll look at your specific situation and map out your next step. 📔 Get the free guide ⁠⁠⁠Dating Apps Don’t Have to Be Confusing⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠ Have more questions? Email us at [email protected]

Bridgett Blood and Lauren Mathues step into one of the most tender and often misunderstood conversations in Christian sexuality: masturbation, self-pleasure, and how adults make embodied, faithful decisions. With warmth and nuance, they name the range of perspectives people often carry, from “always wrong” to “always empowering,” and invite listeners into a more honest conversation about story, Scripture, the Holy Spirit, and what it really looks like. The depth of this conversation comes from the way they refuse to separate theology from lived experience. Our bodies, histories, wounds, shame, curiosity, and longings are all present when we talk about sexuality. For some, this topic touches abuse, loneliness, purity culture, pornography, confusion, or fear. For others, it raises questions about freedom, agency, healing, and what it means to live with integrity. Bridgett and Lauren offer a framework that moves beyond rule-making and reaction. They talk about discernment, personal conviction, embodied awareness, the difference between pleasure and escape, and the importance of asking whether our practices are leading us toward connection or away from it. Their invitation is not to bypass God or the body, but to listen more deeply to both as part of formation and wholeness. What to pay attention to is the fruit of your choices. Are you becoming more connected to God, yourself, and others, or more hidden, isolated, and self-protective? Are you honoring your body with kindness, or using pleasure to avoid the risk of being known and cared for? These questions help create a path toward discernment, clarity, and a deeper trust in your own story. Watch this episode on YouTube Mentioned in this Episode Bridgett’s free guidebook, 19 Ways to Engage Sexual JoyPure Desire: Groups and Clinical care for unwanted sexual behavior and betrayal trauma for men and womenShe Recovery: women porn recovery resourcesTabbitha Westbrook: healthy sexuality after abuse If something in this episode resonated with you, here are two ways to go deeper depending on what you need: 🩷 Work with Bridgett You don’t need more rules. You need a deeper understanding of your sexual desire.If you still feel confused about how to navigate dating without shutting down or crossing your boundaries, Bridgett helps you build sexual self-trust and honor your values → ⁠⁠⁠ RECLAIM Cohort⁠⁠⁠ 📓 ⁠⁠⁠Free Guides and Ecourse⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠⁠   💙 Work with Lauren If you’re feeling unsure what to do next— whether that’s meeting people, choosing who to pursue, or trusting your judgment in dating, Lauren helps you move forward with clarity and confidence. → Work with Lauren → Coming in July: The Mid-Summer Dating Reset→ ⁠⁠⁠Book a Dating Clarity Call⁠⁠⁠ We’ll look at your specific situation and map out your next step. 📔 Get the free guide ⁠⁠⁠Dating Apps Don’t Have to Be Confusing⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ → ⁠⁠⁠Website⁠⁠ Have more questions? Email us at [email protected]