Advertise on podcast: Pretty and Painful

Sometimes unexpected guests walk in. October 31st was never Halloween to me. It was Aunt Judi's birthday. In this episode, I'm talking about the woman who taught me to bake, the "Tuesday buttercream" philosophy that every day is worth celebrating, and what it takes to pull up a chair to your own life during the burr months. I'm also sharing something I've kept in a box for a long time: the grief of the babies I never got to hold. October is Infant Loss Awareness Month, and it's time that box got opened. Grief and joy do sit at the same table. But sometimes seasonal depression walks in uninvited and grabs the butter. Content note: this episode includes pregnancy and infant loss.

Pieces of Her: A Life Collected Along the Way What if the things we hold onto aren’t really things at all? In this first episode of Pieces of Her, Bailey takes a tender, sometimes funny, occasionally morbid look at the art of holding on when grief tells you to let go. A grandpa’s jacket tucked safely in a Ziplock bag. A cake pan. Japanese floral china. A pumpkin dish from QVC holding Aunt Judi’s ashes—and her car keys, just in case she decides she needs to go somewhere. Because grief has a funny way of making ordinary things sacred. Bailey talks about the people she’s lost, the pieces of them she carries, and the ways they continue to live through her—in her baking, her stories, her love of jewelry, her desire to help others, and even the coffee drips on the kitchen counter. “Maybe I’m a hoarder. But I hoard so much more than things.” This is a story about memory, grief, faith, and the beautiful mess of becoming who we are from everyone we’ve ever loved. Because sometimes we aren’t holding onto the thing. We’re holding onto the connection. And maybe a life isn’t built all at once. Maybe it’s collected along the way. 🤍 Pretty & Painful
Where grief & joy sit at the same table.

🥄 New episode: Still Shining Silver 🥄 My grandma taught me to shine silver at her kitchen sink… platters, trays, butter dishes, the whole nine. Now every piece of silver I touch is a memory of her. This one’s about the grief nobody talks about — the ones left behind. She grieves different than me… quieter, steadier, decades of practice. Doesn’t mean she loves less. Doesn’t mean she doesn’t care. It just means Grandmas know things the rest of us are still learning. #PrettyAndPainful #GriefAndJoy #PullUpAChair #SouthernGrief #GrandparentLove

Some children learn multiplication tables. Some learn how to ride a bike. Some learn what it means to say goodbye. In this week’s episode of Pretty & Painful, I’m sharing the story of two childhood friends, Dugan and Alyssa, whose lives forever shaped my own. Looking back, I realize my relationship with grief didn’t begin as an adult—it began in an elementary school classroom. We’ll talk about childhood loss, the ways grief quietly follows us into adulthood, and how I spent years trying to fill the spaces that loss leaves behind. This episode isn’t just about death. It’s about the little girl who learned grief before she understood it. If you experienced loss at a young age, I hope this conversation reminds you that you’re not alone. Your story matters, your grief is valid, and healing is possible. Pull up a chair… Or maybe today, pull up a school desk. Because around here, grief and joy still sit at the same table. 🎙️ Episode 39: Too Young for Goodbye Available now on Pretty & Painful. #PrettyAndPainful #TooYoungForGoodbye #ChildhoodGrief #GriefJourney #He

What if I told you one of the most meaningful stories I’ve ever shared… starts with a broken cake stand? It sounds silly until you realize it was never about the crystal. This episode is about my Aunt Judi, the recipes she left behind, the grief that still sneaks into ordinary moments, and a gift that reminded me I wasn’t “too much” for feeling deeply. It’s about broken things, quiet kindness, learning to make chocolate chip cookies without the person who taught you, and why I still can’t make a decent pancake. 🥞🤍 Sometimes the people who change our lives don’t stay forever. Sometimes all that’s left is a recipe, a memory, or a cake stand that catches the afternoon sun. And somehow… that’s enough. If you’ve ever loved someone you miss, or you’ve wondered if healing means forgetting, I hope you’ll pull up a chair and listen. 🎙️ Episode 39: The Cake Stand is streaming now wherever you get your podcasts. I’d love to know after you listen: What’s one ordinary object that reminds you of someone you love? 🤍

Some of the deepest wounds don’t come from strangers. They come wrapped in the words, “I’m just telling you the truth.” Somewhere along the way, we started confusing harshness with honesty and cruelty with strength. But Scripture never tells us that love should wound just to prove a point. Real love restores. Real love corrects with compassion. Real love tells the truth without forgetting grace. Sometimes what we call “tough love” is just pain wearing a righteous disguise. This week’s episode is for anyone who’s ever been told that being broken was somehow good for them—and for anyone learning that Jesus never confused conviction with condemnation. 🎙️ New episode of Pretty & Painful is streaming now. #PrettyAndPainful #GriefGraceGloss #ChristianPodcast #FaithOverFear #HealingJourney #TruthInLove #ToughLove #ChooseKindness #Restoration #Podcast

Grief isn’t always quiet. Sometimes it cries. Sometimes it isolates. And sometimes… it gets angry. In this episode of our Working Through Grief series, we’re talking about one of the most misunderstood stages of grief: the emotional outbursts, the short fuse, the moments we don’t recognize ourselves, and the guilt that often follows. What if people don’t just see you as “angry”… but they never stopped to ask if you’re hurting? Together, we’ll talk about the messy middle of healing, God’s grace in our hardest moments, taking responsibility for our actions without living in shame, and learning the difference between being a hurt person hurting people and a hurt person healing people. If you’ve ever wondered why the smallest things suddenly feel overwhelming, this episode is for you. Remember, friend… Grief grows. Without question. So will I. 🤍

WHY 🤍 People ask me all the time… “Why do you keep talking about grief?” I thought I was writing an “About” page for Pretty & Painful. Instead, I discovered why this podcast exists. The answer wasn’t a perfectly written mission statement. It was one simple sentence. I miss them. And when I talk about them… they feel closer. This episode is for anyone who’s ever wondered why grief still shows up years later. For anyone who’s ever kept a handwritten recipe card. For anyone who still hears a loved one’s voice in the quiet moments. For anyone learning to let grief and joy sit at the same table. Maybe we won’t find the answer to every “why.” But maybe we’ll discover that love is reason enough to keep telling the stories. Pull up a chair. I’m so glad you’re here. 🤍 #PrettyAndPainful #GriefAndJoy #HealingOutLoud #Faith #Storytelling #Remembering #Hope

The Girl You Don’t Know Thousands of people know pieces of me. The grief girl. The firefighter. The dispatcher. The BBQ queen. The loud girl. The girl who always seems to have something to say. But what about the girl behind all of that? In this episode, we’re pulling back the curtain and talking about the versions of ourselves we don’t often introduce to the world. The insecure girl. The angry girl. The exhausted girl. The one carrying shame, regrets, healing, hope, and a thousand untold stories. This isn’t the polished version. It’s not the highlight reel. It’s the chapters that happen behind closed doors, the battles nobody sees, and the truth that we are all so much more than the labels people place on us. If you’ve ever felt misunderstood, defined by your worst moments, or like nobody truly sees the whole you, pull up a chair. This conversation is for us. Because there is always more to the story than the eye shows.

Episode 36: Today, the Cake Is Bitter Bitterness rarely arrives all at once. It starts with a broken promise, an unanswered apology, a betrayal, a loss, or a wound that never truly healed. Before long, the hurt we’ve been carrying begins to shape the way we see people, the way we love, and even the way we see ourselves. In this episode of Pretty & Painful, we’re having an honest conversation about bitterness, pettiness, grace, and what it means to check the posture of our own hearts. Because while hurt people often hurt people, that doesn’t have to be the end of our story. We’ll talk about: * Why bitterness quietly steals our joy. * How resentment affects our relationships. * Knowing when it’s time to walk away from unhealthy people. * Choosing grace over getting even. * Finding freedom through God instead of letting pain define us. My prayer is simple: that your heart becomes lighter than it was before you pressed play. Because love was never meant to feel like a war zone. Welcome back to Pretty & Painful… where grief and joy sit at the same table. Today, the cake is bitter. 🤍

🤍 Episode 35 | I Wish They Could See This I catch myself saying it all the time. “I wish they could see this.” The new doors God is opening. Choosing joy on the hard days. Walking away when it’s time. Beating cancer. The perfect peanut butter cookies. Even my ginger hair… which I’m still hoping heaven lets me keep. 😉 Grief has taught me something I never expected. The people we love don’t stop showing up. Sometimes it’s in a Winn-Dixie phone number that still saves me money. Sometimes it’s a run-on sentence that sounds just like someone I miss. Sometimes it’s spilled coffee by the coffee pot. Sometimes it’s a laugh, a mannerism, or a little bit of sass in someone else. Maybe they aren’t beside us anymore. But maybe little pieces of them are still all around us. And maybe that’s one of God’s sweetest gifts—that love leaves fingerprints. “We do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope.” — 1 Thessalonians 4:13 Grief grows. By God’s grace… so do we. 🎙️ Episode 35, “I Wish They Could See This,” is available now. Pull up a chair. I’d love to have you at the table. 🤍

Maybe birthdays after loss will never feel the way they used to. Maybe there will always be an empty chair. An unanswered phone. A name your heart still waits to hear. But love doesn’t end because a life does. The people we love keep showing up—in recipes we still make, songs we still sing, stories we still tell, and traditions we refuse to let die. So celebrate anyway. Not because grief is gone. But because love is still here. Happy Birthday to them. Thank you for loving them enough that their absence still echoes. And if today is heavy… I’m proud of you for making it through another one. I’ll meet you back here next week. Same table. Different stories. Still making room for grief and joy to sit side by side. Until then… Keep choosing love. Keep choosing grace. And keep choosing to remember. — B.

🎙️ WORKING THROUGH GRIEF: DENIAL I used to tell myself my elementary school best friend wasn’t dead. She had simply gone undercover for the FBI. Delusional? Absolutely. But grief doesn’t care about logic. That’s the thing about denial nobody tells you. It’s not always refusing reality. Sometimes it’s your heart buying time. Sometimes it sounds like: “But we just talked.” “I just saw them.” “I just texted them.” As if yesterday should protect us from today. As if loss should have given us more warning. In this episode, we’re talking about the stories we tell ourselves when our hearts aren’t ready for the truth. The pretty. The painful. And the space between what our heads know and what our hearts are still learning. 💛 Because sometimes denial is just love struggling to catch up with loss. #PrettyAndPainfulPodcast #WorkingThroughGrief #Denial #GriefJourney #GriefSupport #HealingOutLoud #GriefAndGrace #PodcastLife

Episode 32: Slipping Away ⚠️ Content Warning: This episode discusses depression, anxiety, emotional exhaustion, and survival mode. Some episodes I show up with answers. This isn’t one of them. This week we’re talking about the quiet battles. The kind you fight while you’re still smiling. The kind nobody notices because you’re still showing up, still functioning, still carrying the weight. We’re talking about depression. Anxiety. Feeling yourself slip away while trying to convince everyone you’re okay. For the first time in a long time, I took a step back. Not because I wanted to, but because I needed to. And if you’ve ever found yourself drowning without the energy to ask for help, this episode is for you. But somewhere in the middle of the darkness, one thought kept finding me: God’s not done with me yet. So if you’re exhausted, overwhelmed, heartbroken, anxious, or simply surviving today, pull up a chair. We’ll sit in it together. Same table as always Because sometimes survival is holy too.

Working Through Grief: Episode 2 — Numbness After the shock fades, something else settles in. Numbness. The silence after the phone call. The blank stare across a crowded room. The moments where you know you’re hurting, but you can’t seem to feel it. In Episode 2 of the Working Through Grief series, B opens up about the strange season that follows loss—the part where your heart builds walls to survive. The part where you’re functioning, smiling, going to work, showing up for everyone else… while feeling completely disconnected from yourself. This episode explores emotional shutdown, survival mode, and the guilt that often comes with not feeling “grief enough.” If you’ve ever wondered why you feel stuck, detached, or like part of you disappeared when they did, this conversation is for you. Because numbness isn’t the absence of grief. Sometimes it’s grief’s way of keeping you alive. Grab your coffee, your tissues, or just a quiet place to sit for a while. You’re not walking through this alone, babes. Pretty & Painful Podcast Where grief and joy sit at the same table