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Do you keep God in one box and the rest of your life in another? What if that line was never there to begin with? Part two with our good friend Paul Anleitner! Last time we talked deconstruction. This time we're talking about the stories that shape us: why the split between "sacred" and "secular" is a modern myth, what our bedtime stories are teaching our kids, and why the next generation is so hungry for something sincere, wholesome, and true. Whether you're making up bedtime stories with your little ones, raising teens who can see through everything, or leading in your everyday sphere, this one's for you. In this episode: - Why the sacred-secular split isn't biblical, and why nobody is truly "non-religious" - How to tell bedtime stories that shape your kids toward the virtues of Christ - Why Gen Z is trading cynicism for sincerity and craving wholesome stories - Setting down the sledgehammer and picking up a metal detector: finding the gold in our past - The Nehemiah window: why now is the time to build, not just critique Try this week: 1. Ask yourself: what has my attention right now? That's what I'm worshiping. 2. Notice one place you've kept God out of: your work, your weekend, your phone. Invite Him in. 3. Make up a bedtime story with a hero who lays down his life for others, and then talk about Jesus. 4. Try the Examen prayer before bed: look back on your day and ask where God was at work. Know someone who's tired of tearing things down and ready to build? Send them this one. Missed part one? Go back and start with our deconstruction conversation with Paul. Chapters 00:00 Intro to Episode 00:22 Part two with Paul Anleitner 01:36 The Three Little Pigs test 02:49 We're storied creatures 05:25 What the heck is water? 07:36 The anti-story of the kingdom 08:16 The sacred-secular split 10:32 Worship is where your attention goes 11:20 Which God is most worthy? 12:11 Followers of the Way 13:56 Bedtime stories that shape kids 15:59 Marvel movies and the true myth 16:47 The virtues of Christ 18:04 God was already at work in Nineveh 19:29 The meta-modern story 21:35 Why Gen Z loves wholesome stories 23:49 From Homelander to a virtuous Superman 24:42 Rebellion isn't inherently good 25:33 Tell stories about the final setting 27:09 The Western church's guiding story 28:10 A hostile relationship with the past 29:18 Young people want more tradition 31:16 Try the Examen prayer 31:47 The pull of nostalgia 32:45 From sledgehammer to metal detector 33:31 Nostalgia and despair 34:09 What Christmas morning was really about 34:53 Why everything is a reboot 35:27 Is wholeness the new rebellion? 36:38 Story orphans 38:05 Always hedging, always ironic 39:02 Sincerity costs vulnerability 40:20 Jeremiah vs. Nehemiah 41:41 It's time to build 43:09 The ache for innocence 44:39 The vibe shift in Gen Z 45:26 A five-year window for leaders 46:55 Being sincere when you're wrong 48:21 You can just do the stuff 48:53 Cynicism is not intelligence 49:27 When 20 people bought my record 50:11 A prayer for hope Scripture: Jonah 3, Jeremiah 1:10, Nehemiah 2:17–18, Nehemiah 8, Matthew 7:13–14, Matthew 25:40, Acts 9:2, Philippians 2:5–8, Hebrews 12:1, 1 Corinthians 15:54, Revelation 21:5 Resources from Paul Based on a True Story: Vibe Shifts, the End of Deconstruction, and the Reboot of Meaning Get the book: https://bookshop.org/p/books/based-on-a-true-story-vibe-shifts-the-end-of-deconstruction-and-the-reboot-of-meaning-paul-anleitner/860a5b6940d4756d?ean=9781400256587 Also on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Based-True-Story-Deconstruction-Meaning-ebook/dp/B0G1JZZJ7H Dis-Ordered: A Christian Journey Through the Problem of Evil & Suffering https://www.amazon.com/Dis-Ordered-Christian-Journey-Through-Suffering/dp/B0BBYBWWXRGoodmakers Podcast with Paul Anleitner: https://open.spotify.com/show/0Lgkn9W8V2YHnPkEsluysmPaul's website: https://paulanleitner.org

You've torn it all down. So what now? Do you just stay deconstructing forever?Josh sits down with our good friend, Paul Anleitner, a longtime Twin Cities worship pastor, author of Based on a True Story, and host of the Goodmakers Podcast. They get into where deconstruction came from, why it's hit our generation so hard, and how you move through the valley instead of living in it.If you're the one wrestling, or you love someone who's been wrestling for years, this conversation is a good place to start.Looking to Jesus:The hard questions aren't new and they aren't off-limits. They're all over Job and Ecclesiastes. But Jesus doesn't leave us in the valley. He's the Good Shepherd who walks us through it. Acts 17 says God "is not far from any one of us." If you feel like you've gone too far to find your way back, you're closer than you think.In this episode:- Why questioning your faith isn't the problem, but staying there forever is- Why didn't our grandparents' generation deconstruct?- What happens when deconstruction has no end point- Thomas's story: a home group built on "we all hate church," and a prayer to a God he didn't believe in- Why you can't just self-author your own story because "civilization is a group project"Try this week:1. Ask yourself: What story is shaping how I see God, church, and myself right now?2. Notice which conversations leave you more cynical and which leave you more whole.3. Pray one honest prayer, even a half-hearted one.4. Take one small step: read Acts 17, call a friend, or show up on Sunday.5. If someone you love is in the wrestle, don't rush them out of the valley. Walk through it with them.Know someone who's been in the wrestle for a while? Send them this one. Part two with Paul is coming next episode.Chapters00:00 Episode Intro00:34 Meet Paul Anleitner02:49 Why deconstruction, and why now04:28 Where the word "deconstruction" came from07:36 Why grandpa didn't deconstruct09:10 Questions aren't the enemy10:09 When deconstruction has no end11:20 Ecclesiastes and the hard questions13:21 The anti-story underneath it all16:04 Seeing through vs. seeing to16:48 When the cynic becomes the hero17:46 If your friend is deconstructing18:26 Thomas's story20:48 "We all hate church"22:14 Praying to a God you don't believe in23:21 Put down the sledgehammer25:02 He kept taking steps forward25:37 Closer than you think26:23 There's no neutral space28:54 Can I just self-author my story?29:20 The return of deism33:13 Civilization is a group project35:20 A prayer for those in the wrestleScripture: Ecclesiastes, Job, Proverbs, Acts 17:27-28, Luke 15, John 20:24-29, Matthew 5:13-16, Colossians 1:17, Hebrews 1:3 Resources from Paul:Based on a True Story: Vibe Shifts, the End of Deconstruction, and the Reboot of MeaningGet the book: Click HereAlso on Amazon: Click Here Dis-Ordered: A Christian Journey Through the Problem of Evil & Sufferinghttps://www.amazon.com/Dis-Ordered-Christian-Journey-Through-Suffering/dp/B0BBYBWWXRGoodmakers Podcast with Paul Anleitner: https://open.spotify.com/show/0Lgkn9W8V2YHnPkEsluysmPaul's website: https://paulanleitner.org

What do you do when someone you love gets that diagnosis, the one nobody should ever have to hear? Josh and Katie get real about how grief and faith are not at odds. Every situation is unique, and many of us have stories of well-meaning Christians saying insensitive or poorly timed things in painful seasons. They’re passionate about equipping the church to honor and support each other through the hardest times, which is why they sat down to share simple tools to help us rally with compassion and empathy, love well, and believe for miracles together. Whether it’s your spouse, parents, friend, or someone in your small group, this one’s for anyone who wants to love like Jesus in the hardest seasons. How Jesus Leads the Way: When Lazarus dies, Jesus doesn’t just shed a tear. He weeps, overcome with grief over what has already happened and over a death that should never have been. But He isn’t grieving the future, because He has faith for that. After Lazarus has been dead four days, Jesus calls him out of the tomb. He grieves what should never have been while holding faith for what’s coming, and He shows us that the fullest picture of love carries both at the same time. In this episode: What to actually say (and what to skip) when you first hear the news You do not need someone else’s faith in order to have faith yourself Ask the spectrum question, then honor whatever room they give you We grieve what has happened, but we don’t grieve the future Whatever path they choose (traditional medicine, alternative, or nothing at all) , add your faith to it and triple team this thing How to follow a family’s lead with their kids, whether you’re the parent, the grandparent, or the friend driving them to soccer practice Scared yourself? Offload to the Lord, not to the family you’re carrying Contending for someone’s healing or breakthrough? Send this episode to your crew and start a prayer group. Here’s how: Ask first. Find out where they are on the spectrum and what kind of prayer they’re comfortable with. Gather your people, whether that’s your small group, your friends, your roommates, or your family, and commit to believing together. Make a sign-up sheet so someone is praying with them every day or every week. Pray over them and take communion together, thanking Jesus that by His stripes they are healed. Carry the practical stuff too: meals, rides, babysitting, a mowed lawn. Keep showing up. Mustard seed faith keeps bouncing back and doesn’t quit. Let's mustard seed this thing. Chapters 00:00 Grief and faith aren’t at odds 00:23 Walking with someone through a hard diagnosis 02:49 When someone isn’t believing for healing 06:33 Asking the “spectrum” question 09:04 When the news catches everyone off guard 10:27 Holding grief and faith together 11:21 Jesus wept: the story of Lazarus 14:52 The boundary line for grief 18:58 Sitting with someone after a loss 20:51 Medicine, natural treatment, or faith: honoring their choice 24:49 When we don’t see the breakthrough 25:32 Talking to kids about a diagnosis 28:38 Where to take your own fear 30:21 Rhythms of prayer and communion 31:30 Mustard seed faith 33:24 In the doctor’s office 34:06 Closing prayer Scripture: John 11, Romans 12:15, Matthew 6:34, Psalm 118:17, Matthew 17:20

What happens when your most "inspiring" family moment turns into a full-blown family meeting twenty minutes later? To close out Season 2, Josh and Katie are answering the questions you've sent in from topics across the season — and they're kicking it off with a story that did not go the way they pictured it. After hearing Eric and Becky Watt talk about family on mission, they decided to surprise their kids with a spontaneous, 10:30 p.m. neighborhood trash cleanup. It was going to be the perfect teaching moment…until it wasn’t.  They get honest about where it fell apart, the accusation that stung more than they expected, and why the repair mattered more than the moment itself. From there, they work through the questions from the rest of the season: how to actually find a qualified EMDR therapist (and the certification to look for), what "shared time" schooling is and why they're trying it this year, why buses are a hard no in their house, how to help kids who don't want to be in big church anymore, why some of their richest friendships have been with single friends, and where the line is when you're navigating boundaries and confiding in others about marriage struggles. In this episode: What to do when your family-on-mission moment falls apart instead of coming together How to know if you actually need EMDR, and what to look for in a therapist if you do A hybrid schooling option you may not know exists, and how to know if it's right for your kids How to protect your kids in unsupervised spaces like the bus, when driving them isn't an option How to help a kid who's lost their love for church find their way back in, without shame Why friendships across seasons of life might be exactly what your marriage and family need Where to draw the line on sharing your marriage struggles, and who's actually safe to confide in Questions we should be asking as those that are mentoring others, investing in others, and disciplining them: How can you become more like Jesus in this moment?  Who do you think God is revealing Himself as for you? How do you think you could love them the way Jesus would love them in this season? What do you think forgiveness looks like? How are you going to forgive them?  What are some lies that you’ve been believing that you feel like God is replacing with things Truth?  What is the truth from the Word that God is revealing to you?  How do you think you could’ve responded in a different way?  What are three other ways you could’ve responded in that conversation?

What if the thing that qualifies you to serve isn't having it all figured out first? In part two of this conversation, Josh continues talking with Eric and Becky Watt about what it actually looks like to build a life — and a family — around service instead of self-improvement. They talk about learning to yield instead of strong-arming in their own marriage, and why they've never felt competition between their callings, only privilege that they get to serve together without serving identically. Eric and Becky get honest about the Turkey story — the time they thought they were helping a family and found out their "help" wasn't actually help at all — and how their very first family mission trip started with something as ordinary as raking a neighbor's leaves down the street. They also name the temptation most parents don't talk about: building your kids' lives instead of building alongside them, and the daily pull to let busyness crowd out the things that actually last. Along the way, Eric doesn't hold back on one conviction — that being a grouchy Christian is a disservice to the God we say we serve. This one is for anyone who's been waiting to feel "ready" before they start serving — and anyone quietly wondering if they're building their kids' lives instead of their own. In this episode: Learning to yield instead of strong-arming What happens when your "help" isn't actually helpful Why you don't have to be healthy or have it all together before you serve someone else Letting your kids watch you serve instead of waiting for the next generation to change the world Discerning what's yours to carry, what to rally around, and what to release Why it's a disservice to God to be a grouchy Christian The daily temptation to live your life through your kids instead of alongside them

Sometimes being right isn't actually the point, and somewhere along the way, most of us started leading with our position instead of our love. In part one of this conversation, Josh sits down with Eric and Becky Watt to talk about what happened when Becky realized someone had seen her as a person before they saw her politics, and how that one experience messed with everything she thought she believed. They get into what it looks like to love people across a dividing line instead of fighting them across it, why becoming a constant learner from another generation might be the thing that keeps you from getting stuck, and what actually gets lost when we stop listening long enough to understand each other. This one is for anyone tired of picking a side and ready to pick people instead. In this episode: Why being seen as a person, not a position, is what actually softens someone Loving someone across the line instead of fighting them across it Becoming a constant learner from another generation instead of assuming your way is the only way What gets lost when we stop listening long enough to understand instead of convince Why honoring someone might matter more than being right Not avoiding hard conversations, but listening through them instead of around them

Most parents try to hide conflict from their kids. But kids don't need a perfect marriage modeled, they need a resilient one. In this conversation, Josh and Katie get into what it actually looks like to let your kids see your relationship — the affection, the disagreements, the apologies, and the repair. They talk about why kids need to watch conflict get resolved (not just avoided), how to regulate your own emotions in a way that teaches your kids something instead of scaring them, and why speaking well of your spouse behind their back might be one of the most powerful things you can do for your children. Your home doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to feel warm. In this episode: Why kids should see you disagree, and what they should see immediately after What direct conflict looks like when it isn't yelling, and why that distinction matters How to tell your kids you're dysregulated without making it their problem Why building gratitude for a spouse is a parenting strategy Letting kids see your faith, your finances, and the real cost of life

We don’t always feel like going to church, but some of the most formative moments happen on the Sundays you almost didn't show up. In this conversation, Josh and Katie talk about what it actually looks like to build a family culture around worship and prayer as a rhythm, not a rule. They get practical about Sunday sports, when the kids say they don’t want to go, how to narrate worship to a two-year-old, and what to do when you're face-down in the Prayer Room and your kid climbs on your back. They also go after something most parents quietly avoid: the question of what it costs long-term to let the world set the schedule. This one is for the parents who want their kids to love God's presence, not just know about it. In this episode: Why consistency in the room matters more than how you feel when you walk in "Tithe your time" and what it looks like to orient your family schedule around church first The Sunday sports conversation, and the preemptive work that makes it less of a fight What to do when your kid says they don't want to go How to narrate worship to small kids by describing what you see Why inviting kids to serve changes how they experience church

Putting on a happy face long enough doesn't make the pain smaller. In this conversation, Katie sits with a guest who has walked the road of singleness with honesty and openness. Nicole unpacks the ache of watching a younger sister get married first, the "vulnerability hangover" of finally letting people see the struggle, and the long work of learning to be present to an emotion without being consumed by it. They talk about navigating sexual desire without shame, what it means to mother in ways that don't require biology, and the Prayer Room encounter that changed Nicole’s perspective on relationships. This one is for anyone sitting with an unmet longing they don't know what to do with. In this episode: Why stuffing pain and wearing a happy face doesn't protect you  The vulnerability hangover: what happens right after you let the walls down How to avoid building your whole life around an area of lack Practical tools for navigating singleness, one night a week, by yourself, on purpose Removing shame from the conversation around sexual desire "God, you don't owe me a husband" — the prayer that changed everything

"Lord, how do we feel about slashing tires?" That's where Jo started: honest about how crushing it is to be misrepresented, to lose people over something you never got to defend, and to watch everyone move on while you're still living in it. In part two of this conversation, Josh and Katie continue with Jo Saxton through what it actually takes to heal from betrayal, why reconciliation can't happen without someone naming the gravity of what happened first, and what gets left unattended in leaders who eventually fall. Then the conversation shifts to mentorship, and Jo gets specific about what most people looking for a mentor are actually looking for (it's not a mentor), what mentees get wrong about their role, and what mentors owe the people they pour into. In this episode: What Jo felt when she was misrepresented, and why silence ended up being the answer Why you can’t heal what you can’t name What leaders who fall have in common The real reason most mentorship searches fail What mentees can offer, and why “Here's what I have. Would you mentor me?" changes everything The check every mentor needs to run on themselves

The "oughts" and "shoulds" can break us if we’re not careful. Not all at once, but slowly under the weight of a life built around what we’re supposed to be doing instead of who we actually are. In this conversation, Josh and Katie sit with special guest Jo Saxton to talk about what it actually looks like to know yourself, why so many women hold back, and what's quietly eroding our culture that's become too individualized to lean on anyone. They unpack how to take a real-life audit, find your chaos points, and what to do when you realize you need a different voice in the room. In this episode: What it means to lock into identity and lose sight of purpose Why rest isn't the enemy of good work, and how to give yourself permission to take it The threat facing women right now, and why not knowing yourself is at the center of it What the West gets wrong about community and what it cost us when the nuclear family became the only unit that mattered How to do a life audit The real cost of "oughts" and "shoulds"

Every affair started as "no big deal." Sending a reel. Grabbing lunch. Writing a letter. The line between honoring your covenant and crossing is blurred by a hundred small choices that each felt fine in the moment. In this conversation, Josh and Katie get specific about what protecting your marriage actually looks like in practice, not as a list of rules, but as a posture. They walk through workplace dynamics, friendship lines, what porn does to intimacy, and what to do when your spouse pushes back on any of this. The goal isn't paranoia. It's clarity — knowing where the line is before you're anywhere near it. In this episode: The workplace boundaries they actually hold, and why "it's just lunch" is never just lunch Why the greatest protection in a marriage isn't a list of rules, it's connection What sharing reels, prophetic words, and personal updates with the opposite gender have in common The case against porn in marriage What zero defensiveness actually looks like when a spouse raises boundaries The two-prong approach to covenant: nothing hidden, and fighting for real connection

Three education paths, no perfect choice: an honest look at homeschool, private, and public school from parents who've done all three! In this episode, Josh and Katie walk through the three paths every parent eventually has to weigh: homeschool, private, and public school. No single answer, no universal right choice, just an honest look at what each path offers, drawn from their own experience in all three. They get specific about the con nobody likes to say out loud about Christian schools, the exhaustion that quietly erodes discipleship in public school, and why homeschooling—if you can do it—might be the most underrated way to stay in the driver's seat of your kid's heart. Wherever you land, this conversation will give you a better lens for the decision and what to watch for once you do. In this episode: Why homeschool shame is fading and what's actually changed about it The biggest con of private school: when the lived culture doesn't match the Kingdom it claims to represent How quickly educators label kids and why that label can do real damage The kindergarten "my day was fine" story that reveals how exhausted kids really are Why the drive to school might be doing more discipleship than you think The question every parent should ask before choosing a path for schooling

That meltdown isn't defiance — it's a message. And until we learn to read it, we'll keep correcting the behavior while missing what it was trying to tell us. In this conversation, Katie and Josh sit down with Pastor Abby Christian to dismantle one of the most common (and most exhausting) lenses parents carry: that bad behavior just means a bad kid. Abby walks through what's actually happening underneath the outburst — an unmet need, a lie the child believes, even an immature gift trying to take shape — and what it looks like to respond to all of it with both connection and structure. They explore how to "scaffold" a child toward a skill instead of expecting them to have it immediately, why surprising kids with transitions sets everyone up to fail, and what to do the moment things start to escalate. In this episode: Why "gentle parenting" can quietly leave kids feeling unsafe — and what to do instead The lens shift that changes everything about behavior Scaffolding — what it actually means to build a child up to a skill instead of expecting them to already have it What to do with your eyes, voice, and body the moment a child's brain goes into fear mode The surprising truth about repetition: it takes 400 reps to build a skill, but only 20–30 if you're having fun What it looks like when you're the one who's dysregulated — and how to bring yourself back online Follow Healthy Homes on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/healthy-homes/id1876981230 Follow Healthy Homes on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1nKIVlz66IqkkXzpti7QEu?si=7a8bdc61449244c8 Subscribe to Healthy Homes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/@TheHealthyHomesPodcast New episodes every Tuesday. Send us your questions: DM @healthyhomespodcast on Instagram.  Find us: @healthyhomespodcast • healthyhomespodcast.com

AUDIO DISCLAIMER: Hey Fam! We unfortunately had some technical difficulties with the audio of the last 10 minutes of the episode. We apologize for the dip in clarity and appreciate your grace as you listen. "I feel nervous" and "I have anxiety" can describe the same moment — but one names an experience, and the other starts to name you. That difference may be impacting your life more than you realize. In part two of this conversation, Katie and Josh continue with Andie, moving from EMDR into something just as foundational: the words we use to describe our pain. They talk about what "trauma" actually means in a culture that's started applying the word to everything, the difference between describing an experience and naming an identity, and why kids who never get to struggle through something hard end up more fragile, not less. They also get into where the "healing journey" can quietly become a ditch, and the moment Andie knows a client is finally ready to walk out her door for good. In this episode: Big T trauma vs. little t trauma — and why the distinction actually matters The "healing journey" ditch: when self-focus quietly becomes the thing keeping you stuck The case for letting kids experience hardship Why Andie says an AI-generated summary of your problems is the opposite of progress Follow Healthy Homes on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/healthy-homes/id1876981230 Follow Healthy Homes on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/1nKIVlz66IqkkXzpti7QEu?si=7a8bdc61449244c8 Subscribe to Healthy Homes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/@TheHealthyHomesPodcast New episodes every Tuesday. Send us your questions: DM @healthyhomespodcast on Instagram. Find us: @healthyhomespodcast • healthyhomespodcast.com