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Alissa's Awake

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Rating
★★★★★
5
from
4 reviews
This podcast has
52 episodes
Language
English
Publisher
Alissa
Explicit
No
Date created
2026/03/07
Latest episode
2026/10/30
Average duration
89 min.
Release period
5 days

Description

Alissa's Awake: Ex-Jehovah's Witness Women Speak Out is a powerful podcast amplifying the voices specifically of women who have left the Jehovah’s Witness religion. Hosted by Alissa, this series dives deep into real stories of religious trauma, shunning, purity culture, control, and the painful, yet empowering journey of waking up and walking away. Through in-depth interviews and anonymous stories, former Jehovah’s Witnesses share what life was really like inside the organization, what led them to question their faith, and how they are rebuilding after leaving a high control religion. Some guests bravely appear on the show, while others choose anonymity for safety but every story matters. From disfellowshipping and family estrangement to deconstruction, therapy, and healing from spiritual abuse, no topic is off limits. If you’re navigating life after leaving Jehovah’s Witnesses, healing from religious trauma, questioning your beliefs, or supporting someone exiting a controlling faith, this podcast offers validation, community, and hope. You are not alone. Your story deserves to be heard.

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Check latest episodes from Alissa's Awake podcast


"I Was Raised to Be a Jehovah’s Witness Wife, Married at 19 to Escape" | Amber’s Story
2026/10/30
In this powerful episode of Ex-Jehovah’s Witness Women Speak Out, Amber shares her deeply personal story of growing up in the Jehovah’s Witness organization, enduring religious trauma, navigating marriage and motherhood at a young age, and ultimately being disfellowshipped at just 23 years old. From childhood isolation and punishment justified through scripture to the intense expectations placed on young Jehovah’s Witness women, Amber opens up about the emotional toll of growing up in a high-control religion. She also reveals the invasive questions Jehovah’s Witness elders asked about her marriage, the circumstances surrounding her disfellowshipping, and the devastating reality of losing nearly everyone she had ever known. After leaving the organization, Amber found herself navigating a world she had never been prepared for. Her journey included homelessness, unhealthy relationships, separation from her children, and years of rebuilding her life. Now, more than two decades after leaving the Jehovah’s Witnesses, Amber is reclaiming her voice and sharing her experiences in hopes of helping others who may feel trapped, isolated, or alone. ❤️ If you are a current or former Jehovah’s Witness, questioning your beliefs, or healing from religious trauma, you are not alone.
"I Was a Devoted Jehovah's Witness Pioneer, While Secretly Enduring Abuse" | Rose's Story
2026/10/20
In this powerful episode of Ex-Jehovah’s Witness Women Speak Out, I sit down with Rose, a former Jehovah’s Witness who dedicated her life to serving the organization. From regular pioneering and volunteering on Bethel construction projects to supporting Kingdom Hall builds and congregation activities, Rose was fully committed to what she believed was “the truth.” But behind her devotion and smiling face, Rose was silently enduring years of domestic abuse, manipulation, and control within her marriage. When she finally turned to Jehovah’s Witness elders for help, the response left her feeling even more isolated. Despite everything she was experiencing, Rose continued to believe that remaining faithful, being a submissive wife, and trusting Jehovah would eventually make things better. Rose’s story raises important questions about how the Jehovah’s Witness organization handles domestic violence, the expectations placed on women, and what happens when victims speak out. Most importantly, her story is one of survival, courage, healing, and finding freedom after leaving a high-control religion. If you are a current or former Jehovah’s Witness, an abuse survivor, or someone questioning the teachings of the Watchtower organization, I hope this conversation reminds you that you are not alone. ❤️ Thank you to Rose for trusting me with her story and for speaking out so others may feel less alone. ⚠️ CONTENT WARNING: This episode includes discussions of domestic violence, abuse, coercive control, and suicide. Please take care while watching. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence in the United States, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE (7233) or visit thehotline.org.
Jehovah’s Witness Pioneer Starts Asking Questions, Then Gets Shunned | Deanna's Story
2026/10/13
In this episode of Ex-Jehovah’s Witness Women Speak Out, I sit down with Deanna, a former Jehovah’s Witness who was baptized at just 10 years old, graduated high school early to begin regular pioneering at 16, and spent six years dedicating her life to the organization. Deanna wasn't someone who struggled to follow the rules. She genuinely believed she was serving Jehovah and doing everything expected of her. From pioneering and attending a foreign language congregation to participating in international conventions, she was fully committed to the Jehovah’s Witness faith. But when the COVID-19 pandemic brought her busy spiritual routine to a halt, she finally had time to think, research, and ask questions about Watchtower teachings. What started as personal Bible study quickly became a journey of questioning everything she had been taught. When Deanna approached the elders with her concerns, hoping for honest, Bible based answers, she was instead accused of entertaining apostate arguments. One elder even warned her that Satan would chew her up and spit her out. Ultimately, Deanna made the difficult decision to disassociate from Jehovah’s Witnesses. Almost overnight, the people she had known and loved for years began shunning her, including members of her own family. Deanna’s story highlights an important reality: Leaving Jehovah’s Witnesses isn't always about wanting to live differently. Sometimes, it's simply about wanting honest answers.
"I Was Raised in an Abusive Jehovah’s Witness Home" | Sarah's Story
2026/10/08
In this episode of Alissa’s Awake, Sarah shares her story of growing up in a Jehovah’s Witness household marked by abuse, fear, instability, and silence. Sarah opens up about what life was like behind closed doors, the role Jehovah’s Witness elders played when her family sought help, and the painful realization that the congregation she had been taught was a place of safety wasn't able to protect her family. She also shares her experience with disfellowshipping, an abusive marriage, becoming a mother, questioning Jehovah’s Witness teachings, and eventually finding the courage to leave and rebuild her life. But this story is about more than what Sarah survived. It’s about finding your voice after spending years believing you weren't allowed to have one. Today, Sarah is using that voice to speak openly about her experiences and to remind others that they deserve to be heard.
Jehovah’s Witness Elders Knew About Her Abuser | Gina's Story
2026/10/06
In this episode of Ex-Jehovah’s Witness Women Speak Out, Gina shares her story of surviving childhood sexual abuse, domestic violence, and eventually confronting her alleged abuser in front of Jehovah’s Witness elders. She describes what happened when she spoke up, the response she says she received from the elders, and how the man she accused was later privately reproved and returned to congregation responsibilities. Gina also opens up about growing up as an elder’s daughter, being baptized at only nine years old, experiencing homelessness while still a Jehovah’s Witness, struggling with her mental health, and eventually beginning the difficult process of questioning and leaving the organization. This conversation contains discussions of childhood sexual abuse, domestic violence, suicidal ideation, and other potentially distressing subjects. Please take care while watching.
"Being a Jehovah’s Witness Was Ruining My Life" | Crystal's Story
2026/10/03
In this episode of Ex-Jehovah’s Witness Women Speak Out, Crystal shares her powerful ExJW story of growing up in the Jehovah’s Witness organization, being pressured into baptism at 17, experiencing disfellowshipping and shunning just for questioning, navigating a controlling marriage, and eventually realizing she could no longer live a life that wasn’t authentic to who she was. Crystal opens up about growing up surrounded by fear and control, feeling like she could never measure up, being discouraged from pursuing the life and education she wanted, and experiencing the devastating isolation that can come with leaving Jehovah’s Witnesses. She also shares the painful impact her exit had on her family and children and what it took to rebuild her life outside the organization. But Crystal’s story is also one of resilience. After leaving, she pursued an education, built a successful career, created a life on her own terms, and discovered just how much was possible outside the world she had once been taught to fear. If you are a Jehovah’s Witness questioning your faith, a former Jehovah’s Witness rebuilding after leaving, or someone trying to understand the experiences of ExJWs, I hope Crystal’s story reminds you just how powerful it can be to hear from someone who has walked this road before.
"I Came Out Gay at 19 & Was Forced to Leave Jehovah’s Witnesses" | Diana's Story
2026/09/23
In this episode of Ex-Jehovah’s Witness Women Speak Out, Diana shares her powerful story of growing up as a born in Jehovah’s Witness, realizing from a young age that she was attracted to girls, and trying to suppress that part of herself while living under the teachings and expectations of the organization. Diana talks openly about the pressure she experienced as a young Jehovah’s Witness, the fear surrounding homosexuality in the organization, homeschooling and isolation, baptism at just 11 years old, and the struggle of feeling like she could never be “spiritual enough.” Eventually, Diana reached a point where she could no longer hide who she was. At 19, she came out to her family and made the decision to leave Jehovah’s Witnesses so she could live authentically and pursue the woman she loved. She was ultimately given a month to leave home and face life outside the organization. But this isn't just a story about what she lost. It's a story about what she found. If you're young, scared, questioning, or wondering whether there is a life for you outside of the organization, I hope Diana's story reminds you that you are not alone, you are not broken, and there can be a life waiting for you outside of the fear.
"I Left the Jehovah’s Witnesses at 17, 25 Years Later I’m Finally Healing" | Jessie’s Story
2026/09/21
In this episode of Ex-Jehovah’s Witness Women Speak Out, I sit down with Jessie to hear her story of growing up as a Jehovah’s Witness, leaving the organization at just 17 years old, and discovering that walking away physically was only the beginning of her journey. Jessie shares what it was like growing up with intense fear surrounding Satan, demons, Armageddon, sin, and feeling inherently unworthy. She also opens up about the pressure placed on girls and women within the Jehovah’s Witness organization, learning to distrust her own intuition, and the impact that religious conditioning had on her identity. One of the biggest turning points in Jessie’s awakening came through a friendship she formed in high school with someone who was coming out as gay. Seeing the kindness and humanity of someone she had been taught could not fit into her understanding of God forced her to question everything she had been taught about love, God, and salvation. After leaving, Jessie threw herself into academia and built a completely new life. But years later, she began recognizing how much religious trauma from her childhood was still affecting her. She shares openly about perfectionism, unhealthy coping mechanisms, spirituality, and what it has looked like to finally begin healing decades after leaving.
Raised in Brooklyn During the Bethel Era: My Life as a Jehovah’s Witness | Christina's Story
2026/09/15
In this episode of ExJW Women Speak Out, Christina shares what it was really like growing up as a Jehovah’s Witness in Brooklyn, surrounded by the influence of Jehovah’s Witnesses Bethel. She opens up about being abused as a child, the congregation and elders being aware of what was happening, and the pressure she experienced to maintain the image of a “perfect” Witness family. At just 14 years old, Christina was pressured into baptism and expected to make what she describes as an adult, lifelong commitment. As she grew older, she began questioning the organization, its teachings, and the way Jehovah’s Witnesses handled serious issues, including child abuse. Eventually, Christina was disfellowshipped after refusing to continue living according to the organization’s expectations. What followed was devastating: rejection from her family, being treated differently inside her own home, and ultimately finding herself seeking help at a women’s shelter.
"I Grew Up in a Strict and Controlled Jehovah’s Witness Household" | Leslie's Story
2026/09/13
In this episode of Ex-Jehovah’s Witness Women Speak Out, I sit down with Leslie as she shares her story of growing up Jehovah’s Witness and living under strict religious rules that shaped nearly every part of her childhood and adult life. Leslie was raised in a Jehovah’s Witness family where friendships, dating, education, entertainment, clothing, and even the people she was allowed to associate with were heavily restricted. She wasn’t allowed to attend traditional middle or high school, was discouraged from pursuing the things she loved, and became a regular pioneer at just 13 years old.. One of the most powerful parts of Leslie’s story is what happened when she was struggling with her mental health. After receiving treatment, she was called to meet with the elders, who focused on her association with a non-Jehovah’s Witness rather than her mental health and wellbeing. Leslie’s story is a powerful reminder that leaving a high control religion isn't simply about changing your beliefs. For many former Jehovah’s Witnesses, it means learning how to make your own decisions, build relationships, pursue an education or career, and finally experience the freedom you were denied growing up.
Christian Purity Culture: The Pressure to Be a “Good Woman” | Grace Sims Story
2026/09/11
In this conversation, I sit down with Grace to talk about growing up deeply religious, navigating Christian purity culture, questioning the beliefs she was raised with, and ultimately learning to trust herself again. Grace grew up in Christian communities and later spent years involved in missions work and ministry environments. As she got older, she began questioning the expectations, leadership structures, and beliefs she had once accepted without question. Her journey eventually led her to deconstruct her faith and step away from organized religion while still maintaining a sense of spirituality. We also talk about Grace's short film The Country They Call Life, which explores a woman's struggle between her religious upbringing and a pregnancy decision. The film was inspired in part by Grace's own lived experiences and was created to encourage empathy and conversation rather than further divide people. If you've ever questioned your faith, struggled with religious expectations, experienced purity culture, or wondered whether the voice in your head is your intuition or years of religious programming, I think you'll really connect with this conversation. Thank you for giving these women and guests a space to tell their stories. ❤️ If you enjoyed this conversation, please like, subscribe, and leave a comment letting Grace know what part of her story resonated with you. 👇 CONNECT WITH GRACE / THE COUNTRY THEY CALL LIFEWebsites: www.Thecountrytheycalllife.com www.Gracesims.com
"I Left Jehovah’s Witnesses… But It Took 10 Years to Truly Wake Up" | Jimi's Story
2026/09/10
In this episode of Ex-Jehovah’s Witness Women Speak Out, Jimi shares her powerful and deeply honest story of growing up as a Jehovah’s Witness, living with intense fear and guilt, leaving the organization, and spending years in survival mode before finally confronting the trauma she had carried for most of her life. For Jimi, leaving the organization was only the beginning. After spending 25 years as a Jehovah’s Witness, including pioneering and raising her children in the religion, it took another 10 years before she truly began to wake up, deconstruct, and heal. One of the most important messages from this conversation is that physically leaving isn't necessarily the same as being free.
"I Got Reinstated as a Jehovah’s Witness While Still an Apostate" | Melanie's Story
2026/08/31
In this episode of ExJW Women Speak Out, Melanie shares the unbelievable story of growing up as one of Jehovah’s Witnesses, surviving an abusive marriage, waking up to the organization, disassociating, and eventually making the unexpected decision to pursue reinstatement. But there was a catch… She was still an "apostate." She explains why she decided to return to the Jehovah’s Witnesses after leaving, what happened during the reinstatement process, and how she managed to navigate the organization while no longer believing its teachings. Her story takes us through religious trauma, family rejection, shunning, an abusive JW marriage, waking up during the pandemic, discovering “apostate” information, and ultimately realizing just how different life could be outside of the organization. She also shares what it was like to maintain relationships with Jehovah’s Witnesses while keeping the reality of her beliefs private, why she eventually faded, and how she is now living a life that feels more authentic and free.
"I Did Everything 'Right' as a Jehovah’s Witness…Why Did It End This Way?" | Ashley’s Story
2026/08/24
In this episode of Ex-Jehovah’s Witness Women Speak Out, Ashley shares her powerful story of growing up in a Jehovah’s Witness family and the experiences that eventually led her to question the organization she had known her entire life. She also opens up about abuse she endured, feeling forced in to a marriage at a young age, becoming a young mother, the intense scrutiny she experienced inside the Kingdom Hall, her experiences surrounding the Jehovah’s Witness blood doctrine, and the moment she was willing to risk the consequences of the organization to protect her daughter. We also talk about something many former Jehovah’s Witnesses experience after leaving: the feeling that the organization is rewriting history. Ashley shares what it was like hearing teachings she distinctly remembers being told are now minimized, changed, or presented as though they never happened. This is Ashley’s first time publicly sharing her full story, and I’m incredibly grateful she trusted me with it. If you are questioning Jehovah’s Witnesses, recently left, or are trying to make sense of your own experiences in a high-control religion, I hope Ashley’s story reminds you that you are not alone, and you are not crazy for remembering what happened.
"I Looked Like a Happy Jehovah’s Witness… But I Wasn’t" | Lindsey's Story
2026/08/24
In this episode of ExJW Women Speak Out, Lindsey shares her powerful story of growing up as a Jehovah’s Witness, navigating a difficult family environment, experiencing control and mistreatment, and eventually reaching the point where she could no longer ignore the things that didn't feel right. Lindsey talks openly about her experiences inside the Jehovah’s Witness organization, including the pressure to conform, asking elders for help, relationships and family control, working for a Jehovah’s Witness organization, and the moments that ultimately pushed her to start questioning what she had been taught. If you're questioning Jehovah's Witnesses, recently left, or are somewhere in the middle of your waking-up journey, I hope Lindsey's story reminds you that you are not alone and there can be real happiness after leaving.

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