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Are you staying in your relationship because you believe it can get better, or because you're terrified of what leaving might mean for your children? In Season 3, Episode 7 of Before It Breaks, Gabriella Pomare sits down with Alexandra Ivkovic for an incredibly honest and personal conversation about marriage, motherhood, recognising unhealthy relationship patterns, navigating divorce and rebuilding a life you once couldn't imagine. Alexandra shares her experience of spending almost a decade in a relationship she knew wasn't right, the pressure she felt to keep her family together, and the moment she finally recognised that staying wasn't necessarily protecting the family she loved. Together, Gabriella and Alexandra explore why women often rationalise red flags, the difference between a difficult season and a repeating pattern, and why protecting a partner's reputation can become so deeply intertwined with protecting your children, finances and future. They also discuss the realities of co-parenting after a difficult relationship, learning to accept what you cannot control, introducing a new partner to your children, and discovering what a healthy relationship can feel like after years of uncertainty. In this episode, we explore: - Why leaving a marriage can feel impossible when children are involved. - The difference between a difficult relationship season and an unhealthy pattern. - Why we ignore red flags and hold on to promises of change. - The emotional and practical pressure to protect a partner's reputation. - Recognising controlling behaviours without rushing to diagnose someone. - The challenges of co-parenting when two households have different rules. - How to talk to children about separation without making them responsible for adult problems. - Dating after divorce, recognising green flags and learning to trust yourself again. - Why Alexandra waited before introducing her new partner to her children. - The weekly relationship check-in that helps prevent small resentments from becoming bigger problems. This is a conversation about the courage it takes to question the future you imagined, the complicated reality of separating when children are involved, and the possibility of building a healthier, happier life on the other side. Because the end of a relationship doesn't have to mean the end of a family. Sometimes it means learning how to be a family differently. 🎙️ Before It Breaks with Gabriella Pomare — conversations about modern love, conflict, repair and everything we need to understand before relationships reach breaking point. Have a relationship dilemma you'd like Gabriella to explore? Submit your question anonymously to Dear Gabriella at www.gabriellapomare.com. Follow Gabriella on Instagram: @thegabriellapomare

Do you really need to be on the brink of separation before you consider couples therapy? Or could getting help while your relationship is still good be one of the smartest things you ever do? We service our cars, schedule health checks and invest in our careers before something goes wrong. Yet when it comes to our relationships, we often wait until resentment has built, communication has broken down or one partner is already halfway out the door before asking for help. In this solo episode of Before It Breaks, family lawyer, author and relationship commentator Gabriella Pomare challenges the stigma surrounding couples therapy and explores why relationship counselling shouldn't be reserved for marriages in crisis. Drawing on years of experience working with couples navigating separation, Gabriella examines the subtle warning signs of emotional disconnection, the difference between a relationship that's struggling and one that's simply drifting, and why the absence of arguments doesn't always mean everything is okay. From the mental load of parenthood and declining intimacy to recurring arguments, emotional withdrawal and the fear of suggesting therapy, this episode explores what happens when two people become excellent at managing a life together but slowly lose sight of the relationship inside it. In this episode, Gabriella explores: Couples therapy before a crisis: Why preventative relationship counselling can be valuable even when nothing is obviously wrong.The silent drift in long-term relationships: How couples become housemates, co-parents or business partners without noticing their emotional connection fading.Why couples keep having the same arguments: Understanding the deeper patterns behind conflict, criticism, defensiveness and withdrawal.The mental load and relationship resentment: Why arguments about housework, parenting and the dishwasher are rarely just about the practical issue.The pursuer–withdrawer cycle: What happens when one partner needs reassurance and the other needs space.How to suggest couples therapy without blaming your partner: Changing the conversation from “you need fixing” to “our relationship is worth protecting”.Relationship check-ins and communication tools: Five practical ways to strengthen connection, navigate change and repair conflict before resentment takes hold.The central question: Why does the possibility of losing someone sometimes create an urgency that their unhappiness never did? This episode isn't about convincing every couple to go to therapy or suggesting that every relationship should be saved. It's about recognising that love alone doesn't teach us how to communicate, navigate conflict, maintain intimacy or grow together through life's transitions. Because sometimes the most important relationship conversations aren't the ones we have when someone is ready to leave. They're the quieter ones we choose to have years earlier. Before It Breaks with Gabriella Pomare explores modern relationships, marriage, dating, divorce, communication, parenting and the conversations that can change everything. Follow Gabriella: Instagram @thegabriellapomare Website: www.gabriellapomare.com Newsletter: The Modern Relationship Edit on Substack New episodes of Before It Breaks are available on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, YouTube and iHeartRadio.

What happens when you fall in love with someone who already has children, an ex-partner and an entire family history that existed long before you arrived? Dating after divorce or separation can be exciting, hopeful and full of possibility, but when children are involved, building a new relationship is rarely as simple as two people falling in love. Suddenly there are co-parenting arrangements, competing loyalties, ex-partners, stepchildren, jealousy, parenting boundaries and difficult conversations about where everybody fits. In Season 3, Episode 6 of Before It Breaks, Gabriella Pomare is joined by Kris Byrnes, step-parent coach, podcast host and stepmother, for an honest conversation about the emotional reality of step-parenting, blended families and finding love again after separation. Drawing on Kris's personal experience as a stepmother and Gabriella's perspective as a family lawyer, they explore the challenges that arise when a new romantic relationship becomes part of an existing family, including the pressure on step-parents to love children as their own, the insecurity that can arise around former partners and the delicate balance between protecting children and prioritising a new relationship. They discuss why step-parenting can feel lonely, how guilt after divorce affects parenting decisions, why children sometimes reject a new partner, and how couples can establish boundaries without creating more conflict. Gabriella and Kris also explore one of the most controversial questions in blended families: when does setting boundaries with an ex-partner cross the line into controlling behaviour, particularly when a child's relationship with their parent begins to suffer? In this episode, you'll discover: What people underestimate about dating someone with children and becoming a step-parent.Why jealousy, resentment and insecurity can arise even in loving blended families.How to establish healthy boundaries with ex-partners while protecting co-parenting relationships.Why step-parents can experience burnout from trying too hard to be accepted.How to navigate discipline, household expectations and the difficult words, “You're not my mum” or “You're not my dad.”Whether children should always come first, and how to protect the couple relationship without making children feel displaced.How to help children feel emotionally secure when a parent begins a new relationship.The difference between healthy co-parenting boundaries and behaviour that may become controlling.Whether you're dating someone with kids, navigating divorce and remarriage, raising children in a blended family, co-parenting with an ex or struggling to find your place as a step-parent, this episode offers an honest look at the conversations that need to happen before resentment and insecurity begin to damage the relationships you're trying to build. About the guest Kris Byrnes is a step-parent coach, stepmother and host of the Our Step Parent Podcast, supporting individuals and couples navigating step-parenting, blended families, boundaries and relationships after separation. Find Kris on Instagram: @stepparentcoach About the host Gabriella Pomare is a family lawyer, author, relationship commentator and host of Before It Breaks, exploring modern love, communication, conflict, separation and the conversations that can change relationships before they break. Follow Gabriella: @thegabriellapomare Website: https://gabriellapomare.com

How do you know if your relationship is going through a hard season — or if you’ve simply stayed too long? In Season 3, Episode 4 of Before It Breaks, Gabriella Pomare explores one of the hardest questions people ask themselves inside a struggling relationship: should I stay or should I leave? We hear a lot about people giving up too quickly. About commitment. About doing the work. But there is another side to that conversation: staying long after a relationship has become emotionally disconnected, resentful, lonely or stuck. Gabriella looks at the difference between staying and trying, and why remaining in a relationship is not the same as actively repairing it. This episode explores emotional disconnection, resentment, contempt, loss of attraction, relationship burnout, staying together for the kids, sunk cost, and the quieter signs that can appear long before a relationship officially ends. Gabriella also unpacks her Love, Fear, Guilt or Habit framework — a way of asking what is actually keeping you in the relationship. Are you staying because there is still love and a genuine desire to rebuild? Or because leaving feels too frightening? Are you staying because repair is possible? Or because history, children, guilt or habit make it difficult to imagine another life? At the centre of the episode is one important question: If nothing changed in the next five years, would you still choose this relationship? This is not an episode telling people to stay. It is not an episode telling people to leave. It is about becoming honest enough to understand the difference between a difficult season and a deeper pattern. Plus, Gabriella answers anonymous Dear Gabriella dilemmas and shares a Don’t Do What I Did story about confusing staying with trying. Before It Breaks with Gabriella Pomare is a podcast about modern love, real relationships and the conversations people often have too late. Instagram: @thegabriellapomare Website: gabriellapomare.com For general information and discussion only. This podcast is not legal advice, psychological advice, counselling or therapy. Chapters: 00:00 Should I Stay or Leave? 03:10 Are We Giving Up Too Soon or Staying Too Long? 07:25 Hard Season or Bigger Pattern? 12:10 Staying Is Not the Same as Trying 16:40 Love, Fear, Guilt or Habit? 21:20 Dear Gabriella: Nothing Is Wrong, But I Feel Nothing 27:15 Resentment, Contempt & Emotional Disconnection 32:05 What If You’ve Lost Attraction? 36:30 Are You Leaving the Relationship or Escaping Your Life? 41:10 Staying Together for the Kids 46:00 Dear Gabriella: I Stayed for the Kids 50:40 The Sunk-Cost Problem 54:20 Don’t Do What I Did 58:10 The Question to Ask Yourself 1:01:30 When Leaving Can Be an Act of Honesty 1:04:00 So, Should You Stay or Leave?

What actually makes two people stay together — not just remain married, but continue to choose each other? After asking “Are we leaving relationships too soon?” in Episode 2, Gabriella sits down with author, podcaster and media personality Zoe Marshall for a candid conversation about the other side of that question: what allows a relationship to survive the ordinary, unglamorous pressures of a long life together? Zoe and her husband Benji have been together for almost two decades and married for nearly 14 years. Their relationship has lived alongside professional sport, media, demanding careers, fertility, parenthood, travel, public scrutiny and enormous personal change. But Zoe is clear that longevity hasn’t come from simply finding “the right person” and hoping the relationship takes care of itself. In this conversation, Gabriella and Zoe talk about what it really means to keep choosing someone when life becomes busy, complicated and decidedly less romantic — from maintaining chemistry and intimacy to having separate bedrooms, separate interests and enough independence to actually miss each other. They unpack resentment, sex, parenting, conflict and repair; why children can benefit from seeing healthy disagreement and reconciliation; how couples can protect their relationship when careers become consuming; and why knowing somebody deeply over time can become one of the overlooked rewards of staying. Because nobody online knows the entire history of your relationship. They weren’t there for the difficult years, the private tenderness, the ordinary Tuesday nights or the moments you found your way back to each other. And equally, a long history alone is never a reason to stay. Pasted text In this episode: - What nearly 14 years of marriage has taught Zoe about love - Chemistry, attraction and keeping intimacy alive - Anxious and avoidant attachment inside a long relationship - Why Zoe and Benji started couples therapy early - Going to therapy before the relationship is in crisis - Why separate bedrooms and separate lives don't necessarily mean disconnection - Careers, ambition and knowing when your partner needs more from you - Resentment and the small changes that can prevent it building - Fighting in front of children — and why repair matters - Sex, touch and intimacy after years together - Dating your partner again - Why one person cannot meet every emotional need - Social media, relationship advice and the pressure to interpret every difficulty as a “red flag” - The difference between simply staying and actively choosing each other Dear Gabriella A listener has been married for 13 years. There’s been no affair, abuse or enormous betrayal. They’re good friends, good parents and their life works — but sex, intimacy and conversations that aren't about children, money or household logistics have almost disappeared.r?” Zoe and Gabriella unpack whether a relationship like this needs an ending… or simply needs some oxygen. 🎙️ Before It Breaks with Gabriella Pomare — Season 3, Episode 3 Have a relationship question you’ve never known how to ask? Submit a Dear Gabriella or Don’t Do What I Did anonymously at gabriellapomare.com, or DM @thegabriellapomare. Before It Breaks, Gabriella’s new book exploring modern love, conflict, disconnection, repair and the conversations that change everything, is coming in 2027.

Sometimes a relationship ends with a clear moment. An affair. A message. A fight. Somebody walking out. But sometimes there is no single moment at all. Two people slowly stop being a couple, and by the time one person finally says, “I don't think I want to do this anymore,” the other is left wondering when the relationship actually ended. In Episode 2 of Season 3 of Before It Breaks, Gabriella Pomare asks one of the more complicated questions facing modern relationships: Are we leaving too soon? Or did previous generations simply stay far too long? We now have more relationship information than ever before. Within seconds, social media can explain attachment styles, emotional labour, childhood wounds, boundaries, narcissism, trauma, red flags and whether someone thinks you should leave. Some of that language has helped people recognise unhealthy dynamics that previous generations may simply have tolerated. But has access to so much information also made us more likely to interpret every difficult season as evidence that we are with the wrong person? Through two Dear Gabriella relationship dilemmas, Gabriella explores the difference between a relationship that is going through a hard season and one that is genuinely becoming disconnected. The conversation also moves into resentment and contempt, attachment patterns, and the familiar pursue-withdraw cycle where one partner responds to distance by moving closer while the other responds to pressure by moving further away. And then there is something we rarely talk about seriously in long relationships:the ick. What happens when nothing dramatic has occurred, but suddenly you don't want your partner touching you anymore? Is that evidence the relationship is over? Or could the body sometimes be responding to resentment, exhaustion, emotional disconnection, the mental load or years of feeling unseen? This episode explores: hard season vs genuine disconnectionwhether modern couples are leaving too quicklyburnout and relationship dissatisfactionwork becoming an emotional escapelosing yourself inside marriage and parenthoodresentment turning into contemptanxious and avoidant attachment patternswhy leaving a relationship doesn't necessarily mean leaving your patterns behindemotional withdrawal before separationthe ick and loss of desire in long relationshipswhether attraction can returnsocial media and modern relationship expectationsstaying too long vs leaving too quicklywhat real repair actually requiresSUBMIT TO DEAR GABRIELLA Have a relationship dilemma, anonymous question or story you want Gabriella to unpack? Submit anonymously through the link at gabriellapomare.com or DM Gabriella on Instagram at @thegabriellapomare. You can also submit your Don't Do What I Did — the thing you understand now that you wish you had understood earlier.'' Chapters: 00:00 Intro and recap of last week's episode 00:52 Relationships ending in 2026 and the comparison trap 02:24 Dear Gabriella: 14 years, disconnected but not fighting 05:16 Numb about the marriage or numb about life 08:28 Resentment, the quiet relationship killer 10:20 Attachment patterns and the pursue/withdraw cycle 11:52 Leaving too soon or staying too long 13:24 The ick, information not instruction 17:04 Don't Do What I Did: processed the breakup alone 18:36 Outro, submissions, and the book announcement

When does a close friendship cross the line into an emotional affair? In the Season 3 premiere of Before It Breaks, Gabriella Pomare returns to the hot seat to explore what happens before the affair — the silence that replaces honesty, the emotional distance that grows unnoticed, the colleague or friend who suddenly makes you feel seen again, and the secrecy that can turn an apparently innocent connection into betrayal. Through three Dear Gabriella relationship dilemmas, Gabriella explores the difference between privacy and secrecy, why emotional affairs often begin gradually rather than intentionally, what unmet needs can reveal about a relationship, and why deleting messages or hiding conversations can be such an important warning sign. She also looks at the aftermath: why discovering an emotional affair can make someone question not only their partner but their own instincts, the difference between apologising and actually repairing trust, and whether a relationship can become stronger after betrayal. Season 3 also introduces Don’t Do What I Did — anonymous hindsight stories about the things people wish they had recognised, said or done before their relationship reached breaking point. Gabriella responds to three relationship dilemmas exploring: When silence becomes a warning sign rather than simply a quiet season.Why emotional affairs often begin without an intention to cheat.The difference between privacy and secrecy.The question to ask when a friendship starts becoming blurry: Would I behave this way if my partner were sitting beside me?Why another person can become so compelling when you no longer feel seen at home.Whether deleting messages is a sign that a boundary has already shifted.What emotional affairs can reveal about both the relationship and the person having one.Why simply cutting contact with the third person may not solve the underlying problem.Why betrayal can destroy trust in your own instincts, not just trust in your partner.The difference between an apology and genuine repair.Whether a relationship can actually become stronger after betrayal. This week’s question: Instead of asking whether something technically counts as cheating, should we be asking why it needs to be hidden from the person we love? Because an affair is often not the first moment a relationship is in trouble. It may simply be the first moment the trouble becomes impossible to ignore. SUBMIT TO DEAR GABRIELLA Have a relationship dilemma, anonymous confession or question you want Gabriella to unpack? Submit anonymously through the link at gabriellapomare.com or send Gabriella a DM on Instagram: @thegabriellapomare You can also send in your Don’t Do What I Did — the lesson you learnt the hard way that someone else may need to hear before they make the same choice. Submissions may be anonymised or identifying details changed before being shared on the podcast. FOLLOW GABRIELLA Instagram: @thegabriellapomare Website: gabriellapomare.com Follow for more conversations from Season 3, listener questions, relationship commentary and behind-the-scenes content from Before It Breaks.

S2 E10: Before We Stop Celebrating Each Other: Love, Beauty and Ritual with Kristina Fitzpatrick In the Season 2 finale of Before It Breaks, Gabriella Pomare speaks with Kristina Fitzpatrick of Paper and Flowers about love, beauty, family rituals, small gestures, celebration, perfectionism, creativity and what happens when people stop making moments meaningful. What if beauty is not frivolous, but one of the ways we say, “This moment matters”? In the Season 2 finale of Before It Breaks, Gabriella Pomare sits down with Kristina Fitzpatrick, founder and creative force behind Paper and Flowers, a New York-based studio known for handcrafted paper floral installations, large-scale event design and sustainable visual experiences. This conversation is about beauty, but not in a shallow sense. It is about beauty as memory. Beauty as effort. Beauty as ritual. Beauty as the thing we create around life’s most emotional moments: weddings, birthdays, anniversaries, family gatherings, milestones, endings, beginnings and the moments we want to remember long after they are over. Gabriella and Kristina explore why relationships and families do not only break through conflict. Sometimes they break through neglect. Through busyness. Through assuming there will always be another dinner, another birthday, another anniversary, another chance to make someone feel special. They talk about the small rituals that tell someone: you matter, this matters, we are still here. Kristina shares the story of building Paper and Flowers from a small idea into a creative studio whose very first major client was New York Fashion Week. She reflects on entrepreneurship, resilience, reinvention, confidence, failure, perfectionism, sustainability, creativity and the courage to move quickly even when you are still figuring things out. This episode also looks at the connection between beauty and relationships. How do we create meaningful moments on purpose? What happens when couples stop being intentional with each other? Why do small gestures often matter more than grand displays? And how can we create beauty in ordinary family life, not just for major events? In this episode, Gabriella and Kristina discuss: beauty as memory, effort and ritual;why moments need to be created intentionally;the story behind Paper and Flowers;building a creative business from a bold first idea;New York Fashion Week as Kristina’s first major client;failure, reinvention and not taking setbacks personally;why leadership often requires fast decisions;the emotional meaning behind weddings, birthdays and celebrations;how events can reveal relationship dynamics;social media pressure and the performance of perfection;the difference between beauty and perfectionism;why small gestures keep relationships alive;love languages, effort and emotional attention;creating beauty in everyday family life;date nights, appreciation rituals and protecting connection;why relationships are not always 50/50;and what we still have time to make beautiful before it breaks. This episode is for anyone who has ever wondered whether they are letting the meaningful moments pass unnoticed. For the person who has stopped celebrating. For the partner who wants to bring back effort, intention and ritual. For the parent trying to create memories in the middle of a busy life. For the creative, founder or entrepreneur learning not to take failure personally.

What if food is one of the oldest ways we say, “I love you”? In this episode of Before It Breaks, Gabriella Pomare speaks with Diana Manalang, chef and owner behind Little Chef Little Kitchen and Little Chef Little Cafe in Long Island City, for a beautiful conversation about food, family, culture, relationships, community, hospitality and the quiet labour of care. This episode is about food, but really, it is about nourishment. The meal someone makes when they do not know how to say sorry. The coffee handed over without being asked. The lunch packed. The family recipe. The favourite dinner made after a hard day. The comfort food that tells someone they are home. Gabriella and Diana explore how food becomes memory, identity, apology, culture and connection, especially in families where care is not always spoken directly, but shown through what is made, offered and placed on the table. Diana shares the story of building Little Chef Little Kitchen and Little Chef Little Cafe, how her Filipino-American background shaped the way she thinks about feeding people, why food has always been central to her understanding of family, intimacy and community. They also discuss what families lose when they stop gathering, why everyday meals matter more than perfect holiday celebrations, and how the small rituals around food can hold relationships together long before anyone realises how important they were. In this episode, Gabriella and Diana discuss: food as a love language;Filipino family culture and the question “Have you eaten?”;comfort food, memory and childhood;why gathering around food creates intimacy and connection;the story behind Little Chef Little Kitchen and Little Chef Little Cafe;building a hospitality business through uncertainty;how food can create community and care;why small gestures matter in relationships;cooking as apology, repair and reconnection;the difference between feeding someone and nourishing someone;everyday rituals couples and families should protect;why care is not always grand or dramatic;what separated and blended families can learn from shared food rituals;how food can create a sense of home across two households;and what we need to notice before people stop caring for each other in the small ways.This episode is for anyone who has ever understood that food is never just food. It is for the person who remembers love through a meal. For the parent trying to create rituals in a busy home. For the partner who wants to care, but does not always have the words. For the person who feels like they are feeding everyone but not being nourished themselves. For anyone thinking about family, culture, food, relationships, repair, community and what it means to keep making space at the table. Because sometimes relationships do not only break through conflict. Sometimes they break through neglect. Through exhaustion. Through everyone being fed except the person doing the feeding. Through losing the rituals that once brought people back to each other. And before it breaks, there is often still time to gather. Still time to notice. Still time to care. Still time to make something that says, “You are loved.” Listen to S2 E9: Before the Table Empties: Food, Family and the Quiet Labour of Care with Diana Manalang on Before It Breaks with Gabriella Pomare. This podcast is for general information, education and discussion only and is not legal advice, psychological advice, counselling or therapy.

What happens when a relationship does not break from one dramatic moment, but from all the conversations that never happen? In this episode of Before It Breaks, Gabriella Pomare speaks with Dr Sabrina Romanoff, a Harvard-trained clinical psychologist based in New York City, about emotional affairs, silence, guilt, avoidance, resentment, attachment, rebuilding trust and the psychology of what couples do not say. This is a conversation about the quiet places relationships begin to fracture. The truth that gets swallowed to keep the peace. The need that is minimised for too long. The guilt that turns into distance. The emotional energy that starts going somewhere else. The resentment that hardens into contempt. Gabriella and Dr Romanoff explore why couples often wait until they are at the end of the rope before they finally tell the truth, and why withdrawal can be more dangerous than conflict. They discuss the difference between a peaceful relationship and one that has simply gone quiet, why avoidance can feel like a protective strategy, and how silence can become a band-aid holding the relationship together. This episode also looks closely at emotional affairs and modern betrayal. Dr Romanoff explains that emotional affairs are not always about one dramatic decision, but often a slow redirection of emotional energy away from the primary relationship. In a world of social media, DMs, micro-cheating and constant access, the line between connection and betrayal can become harder to define — but secrecy is often the clearest warning sign. Together, Gabriella and Dr Romanoff discuss what couples can notice earlier, including emotional distance, unmet needs, guilt, shame, withdrawal, defensive conflict patterns, contempt, attachment dynamics and the moment one person starts feeling more emotionally alive outside the relationship than inside it. They also explore whether trust can be rebuilt after betrayal, why real repair requires honesty and transparency, and why some relationships can become stronger when couples are willing to face what they usually hide. In this episode, Gabriella and Dr Sabrina Romanoff discuss: the psychology of what couples do not say;the difference between peace and silence in a relationship;why avoidance can feel like protection;how guilt can turn into shame, withdrawal and distance;why people often hide the truth from partners they are afraid of losing;emotional affairs and where the line is crossed;secrecy, micro-cheating, DMs and modern relationship betrayal;why emotional affairs often grow from unmet needs;the signs resentment is hardening into contempt;pursuer-withdrawer dynamics in relationships;attachment patterns, anxiety, avoidance and emotional shutdown;what real repair requires after trust has been broken;why the old relationship may not come back after betrayal;how couples can build something more honest. This episode is for anyone who has ever wondered whether their relationship is peaceful — or simply quiet. For anyone who has felt their partner pulling away. For anyone who has started seeking emotional connection somewhere else. For anyone trying to understand emotional affairs, guilt, secrecy, resentment, avoidance, attachment, trust and repair. Because before a relationship breaks, there is often a long period where people are not necessarily fighting. Sometimes they are simply not saying the truth. This podcast is for general information, education and discussion only and is not legal advice, psychological advice, counselling or therapy.

What if the thing you have been calling failure is actually the first honest moment? In this episode of Before It Breaks, Gabriella Pomare sits down with Lola Berry — Australian author, podcaster, actor, nutritionist and host of Fearlessly Failing — for a warm, honest and deeply human conversation about failure, reinvention, relationships, self-trust, ambition, wellness, therapy, creativity and the courage to start again. This episode is about the moments when the old story stops working. The relationship that no longer fits. The career that once made sense. The timeline you thought you had to follow. The identity you outgrew. The dream that changed shape. The version of yourself you kept performing because leaving it behind felt too much like failure. Gabriella and Lola explore why so many people stay too long in relationships, careers, friendships, cities and life chapters because they are afraid of being judged, misunderstood or seen as inconsistent. They talk about adult friendship breakups, value alignment, long-distance love, moving to LA, starting over, creative rejection, therapy, comparison, self-care, emotional honesty and why the body often knows the truth before the mind is ready to admit it. Lola shares what failure has taught her, why she now sees it as a gift, and how letting go can sometimes create the space for something more aligned to arrive. From selling a business with her name on it, to pursuing acting in Los Angeles, to learning how to stop living up to other people’s expectations, this conversation is a reminder that changing direction is not the same as giving up. It may be the moment you finally stop abandoning yourself to keep the old story alive. In this episode, Gabriella and Lola discuss: why failure can be information, not identity;how to know when something no longer feels aligned;why we stay too long in relationships, careers and friendships;adult friendship breakups and one-way relationships;the importance of value alignment in love, work and friendship;long-distance relationships, therapy and honest communication;moving countries and starting again in a new city;creative rejection, self-worth and resilience;comparison, social media and the myth that everyone else is ahead;the difference between real self-care and constant self-optimisation;why your body may know the truth before your mind is ready;releasing timelines, expectations and old versions of success;and what it means to follow what makes you feel alive.This episode is for anyone who feels behind, stuck, uncertain or afraid to change direction. For anyone who has outgrown a version of themselves. For anyone who is scared that starting again means they have failed. For anyone watching other people’s lives unfold online and wondering why theirs looks different. For anyone trying to decide whether to keep forcing the plan — or finally listen to the part of themselves that knows something has shifted. Because sometimes the break is not the end. Sometimes it is the beginning of a more honest life. Listen to Before You Call It Failure: Lola Berry on Reinvention, Self-Trust and Starting Again on Before It Breaks with Gabriella Pomare. This podcast is for general information, education and discussion only and is not legal advice, psychological advice, counselling or therapy.

In this episode of Before It Breaks, Gabriella Pomare speaks with Erica Komisar about children, parenting, marriage, emotional safety and the invisible ways children absorb the relationship between their parents. This conversation explores a powerful idea: children do not live outside the relationship between their parents. They live inside it. They feel the tone. They feel the distance. They feel the silence. They feel the resentment, even when no one says the words out loud. So often, parents tell themselves that children are fine as long as there is no open arguing, or as long as everything is functioning on the surface. But children are deeply sensitive to the emotional weather of the home. They know when warmth has disappeared. They know when one parent is carrying too much. They know when repair is not happening. They know when the home has stopped feeling safe, even if no one has explained why. This episode is not about blaming parents. Parenting, marriage, work, stress, resentment and modern family life are hard. Most parents are doing the best they can with the tools, histories and pressures they have. But it is a reminder that protecting children is not only about what we say to them. It is also about what we model around them. How we repair. How we speak. How we handle conflict. How we apologise. How we make room for their feelings. How we show them what love, safety and emotional responsibility look like. Because children learn relationships long before they have one of their own. They learn what closeness feels like. They learn what silence means. They learn whether conflict can be repaired. They learn whether love is steady, conditional, frightening, distant or safe. In this episode, Gabriella and Erica explore why the emotional life of the home becomes part of the emotional life of the child, and why one of the most important things parents can do is notice the shift earlier, repair sooner and soften where they have become defended. Because before a family breaks, children often feel the shift. And sometimes the greatest gift we can give them is to notice it before it breaks. In this episode Gabriella and Erica discuss: why children are affected by the relationship between their parents;how children absorb tension, silence, distance and resentment;why “not fighting in front of the children” is not always enough;the emotional weather of the home;how parents can model repair, apology and emotional responsibility;why children need emotional safety, not perfection;how modern family life, work, stress and resentment impact children;why the adult relationship cannot be separated from the wellbeing of the child;what children learn about love, closeness, conflict and repair;and what parents can notice earlier before it breaks. Key themes Children and relationshipsMarriage and parentingEmotional safety in the homeChildren and parental conflictSilent resentment in marriageRepair after conflictParenting and emotional responsibilityModern family lifeHow children experience tension at home Disclaimer This podcast is for general information, education and discussion only. It is not legal advice, psychological advice, counselling or therapy. If you need support with your relationship, parenting, family conflict, separation or your child’s wellbeing, please seek advice from an appropriate qualified professional.

S2 E5: Before the Stories Disappear: Food, Family, Memory and the Rituals That Hold Us Together with Rossella Rago What do families lose when they stop gathering? In this episode of Before It Breaks, Gabriella Pomare sits down with Rossella Rago, the creator and host of Cooking with Nonna, author, entrepreneur and culinary storyteller, for a beautiful conversation about food, family, memory, culture, divorce, grief, grandmothers and the rituals that hold generations together. Rossella shares how Cooking with Nonna began in 2008 after her father bought the website and built her first set, and how what started as filming Italian grandmothers sharing recipes grew into cookbooks, products and a platform dedicated to preserving culture, memory and the wisdom of older generations. She speaks movingly about her grandmother, Nonna Romana, who passed away at 92, and the way she became a symbol of love, strength, family and belonging. This conversation is about food — but really, it is about so much more than food. It is about Sunday dinners. The smell of sauce. The recipe you never wrote down. The grandmother who showed love by feeding you. The stories we assume we will always have time to ask. The family rituals that quietly disappear when people become busy, distant or estranged. Gabriella and Rossella explore how families begin to drift before anyone realises what is being lost, and why sitting around a table can be one of the most powerful ways to preserve connection, identity and belonging. They also talk honestly about divorce, cultural expectations, Italian family traditions, bella figura, grief, resilience, and why love is often found in the smallest daily gestures — the coffee made, the favourite cereal bought, the meal prepared, the effort made. As Rossella says in the episode, falling in love can happen quickly, but falling out of love often happens through “a hundred thousand micro disconnections.” In this episode: how Cooking with Nonna began;what grandmothers teach us about love, family and resilience;why food carries memory, identity and grief;the importance of Sunday dinners and family rituals;how families become disconnected through busyness, distance and silence;why recipes are never just recipes;what older generations wish younger people understood earlier;food as repair, comfort and connection;divorce, cultural expectations and bella figura;preserving children’s culture after separation;why “readiness is b******t” and you should start before you feel ready;and what we need to notice before family stories, rituals and traditions disappear. This episode is for anyone who grew up around a family table, anyone who misses a grandparent, anyone who has watched family rituals fade, anyone navigating divorce or changing family traditions, and anyone who knows that food is sometimes how love says: you belong here. Because before families break, they often stop gathering. And before the stories disappear, there is often still time to ask. Listen to this episode of Before It Breaks with Gabriella Pomare for an honest, emotional and deeply relatable conversation about food, family, culture, memory, relationships, divorce, grief and the rituals that hold us together before it breaks.

In this episode of Before It Breaks, Gabriella Pomare sits down with lifestyle expert, television host, media personality and author Valerie Greenberg for an honest conversation about validation, confidence, self-worth and meaningful connection. We all want to feel seen, loved, desired and understood. But when the need for external validation becomes stronger than our trust in ourselves, relationships can quickly become places where we perform, over-explain, settle, shrink or wait for someone else to confirm that we are enough. Gabriella and Valerie explore how low confidence can influence the people we date, the relationships we stay in and the behaviours we accept. They discuss the difference between attention and intimacy, why some people move quickly from one relationship to another, and how social media has made it harder to separate genuine connection from performance and comparison. Valerie introduces the idea of creating a “confidence community”: a group of friends, mentors and trusted people who remind you of your strengths, support you during difficult seasons and encourage you to keep moving when rejection, disappointment or self-doubt begin to take over. The conversation also moves beyond romantic relationships and into ambition, career rejection and the pressure to constantly achieve. Valerie shares how it took years of persistence to build her media career, why she refuses to allow rejection to define her and how she learned to turn “a no into a nod.” This episode is a reminder that confidence does not mean feeling fearless every day. It means continuing to trust yourself even when someone else does not recognise your value. It means knowing when to listen, when to speak up, when to ask for support and when to walk away from a relationship that requires you to become smaller. Because healthy love does not ask you to disappear in order to be chosen. It allows you to become more fully yourself. In this episode, Gabriella and Valerie discuss:Why people seek external validation in romantic relationshipsHow confidence affects dating, attraction and connectionThe difference between attention, approval and genuine intimacyWhy some people settle for unhealthy or unfulfilling relationshipsRecognising when a partner or friend is dimming your lightHow gaslighting and criticism can slowly erode confidenceHow to communicate emotional needs and expectationsWhy one person cannot meet every need in a relationshipThe importance of maintaining friendships and individualityHow couples can create regular emotional check-insWhy conflict is often about more than the immediate argumentThe power of listening rather than preparing your next responseBuilding your own “confidence community”Developing self-respect through boundaries, rest and self-careHow to rebuild confidence after rejection, failure or a breakupValerie’s advice for turning a “no” into a “nod”What we should notice before we begin shrinking ourselves for loveAbout Valerie GreenbergValerie Greenberg is a lifestyle expert, entertainment host, television personality and the author of You’ve Been Validated: A Playbook for Confidence and Connection. Connect with Valerie GreenbergInstagram: @valgreenberg TikTok: @therealvalgreenberg Website: youvebeenvalidated.com You’ve Been Validated is available through Amazon, Barnes & Noble and other major book retailers.

Are you really “too much”—or have you simply been asking the wrong people to meet you where you are? In Season 2, Episode 3 of Before It Breaks, Gabriella Pomare sits down with Emma Klipstein, creator and host of the Too Much podcast, for an honest, funny and unfiltered conversation about modern dating, situationships, relationship red flags, breakups, self-trust and why so many women are exhausted from pretending to be “chill.” Emma opens up about rebuilding her career and identity, launching her own podcast, dating in her thirties and learning to trust herself when something in a relationship does not feel right. Together, Gabriella and Emma explore: • Why situationships can become so addictive • The dating red flags women commonly explain away • Love bombing, inconsistency and hot-and-cold behaviour • Why confusion can be an answer in itself • Chemistry versus genuine compatibility • The difference between choosing someone and needing them • Why women take dating problems to the group chat • How to stop abandoning yourself inside a relationship • Emma’s Five Box Theory for building a life that can survive a breakup • Why the best post-breakup “glow-up” begins before the relationship ends • Creating relationship non-negotiables • Rebuilding confidence after heartbreak • Balancing love, independence, ambition and career growth • Choosing yourself without closing yourself off to love Emma also explains why consistency is one of the greatest green flags in a relationship, why dating can act as a mirror and why the qualities somebody once called “too much” may be the very qualities you need to stop apologising for. This episode is for anyone who has ever stared at a message wondering what it meant, made excuses for someone’s inconsistency, stayed in a situationship that was affecting their confidence or asked the group chat to confirm something they already knew. Because before it breaks, your intuition is often already whispering. The work is learning to listen. FOLLOW EMMA PAIGE KLIPSTEIN Personal Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lifeofemmapaige/ Too Much Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/emmastoomuch/ Listen to Too Much with Emma Paige Klipstein on your preferred podcast platform and follow @emmastoomuch on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube for more conversations about dating, breakups, self-trust, reinvention and becoming unapologetically yourself. FOLLOW GABRIELLA POMARE Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thegabriellapomare/ Learn more about Gabriella, her work, books, podcast and speaking: https://gabriellapomare.com.au/ Subscribe to Before It Breaks with Gabriella Pomare for conversations about modern relationships, dating, marriage, divorce, friendship, parenting, identity and the quiet moments that happen before everything changes. Available on YouTube, Apple Podcasts and Spotify. ABOUT BEFORE IT BREAKS Before It Breaks is hosted by family lawyer, author, relationship commentator and co-parenting expert Gabriella Pomare. Each episode explores what happens before relationships, friendships, careers and identities begin to fracture—and what we can learn before reaching breaking point.