EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) Tapping is a powerful tool for reducing pain, physical trauma, and eliminating limiting beliefs. Each week tapping expert, Gene Monterastelli, and his amazing guests answer the most common (and uncommon) questions on how to get the most out of EFT. If you want to maximize your success with tapping, this is an indispensable resource.
The host of the Tapping Q & A Podcast, Gene Monterastelli, works one-on-one with small business owners and entrepreneurs to help them eliminate self-sabotage so that they can take the actions they need to take to be successful, starting with the most important tasks first.
Past guests of the show have included Mary Ayers, Dr. Peta Stapleton, Julie Schiffman, Brad Yates, Rick Hanson, Ph.D., Mark Wolynn, Rick Wilkes, Carol Look, Steve Wells, and Jessica Ortner.
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How to end a tapping session to create long-term healing
2026/10/22
Almost every question I receive in the Tapping Q&A inbox is about how to tap. I am asked about the best way to start, the best phrases for a certain issue, and how to decide on which issues to tap for.
All of these questions are about how to begin and what to do once you are tapping.
The question that seldom comes up is about how to end a tapping session.
And that makes sense because when we are done tapping, we are done tapping. We just then continue on with what is next.
In many cases, just getting on with whatever is next is fine, but in my experience, ending your tapping session with a clear intention provides two benefits. First, it helps you to return to your day in a healthy way. Second, you can set yourself up for a continued healing process, not just a healing moment of tapping.
This week in the podcast, I share how I end my tapping sessions. The process is a brief single round of tapping that can make a world of difference. It will help you to return to your day feeling focused and clear, seal the healing you just created, and allow the healing to continue even after the tapping is done.
It is amazing how a single round of tapping can pack so much power!
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How to End a Tapping Session There's something I've been neglecting to teach my students. We spend plenty of time figuring out what to say, where to start, how to focus, and where the resistance is. But we never talk about one important piece: how to end a session.
Why I Focus on Getting People to Tap For the last two or three years, I've been focused on one thing in my work: making sure people don't just know more about healing and transformation, but actually tap more. It doesn't matter how much we know. It only matters what we do and how we execute it.
That's why I've talked about creating tapping habits, how to start a session, what to do when you don't know what to say, and how to find hidden resistance. I believe the most important part of any tapping session, or any intention to tap, is the first 30 to 60 seconds. We don't get results unless we tap, and it takes real effort to go from being stuck in an emotion to getting past the inertia and starting. That's why entry points matter so much.
The Part We Skip Most of the time, we don't talk about ending a session because we just end. I'm tapping along, I feel better, maybe I take a deep breath, stretch, or sip some water, and then I go back to what I was doing. That's especially true for quick emotional first aid in the moment, but it's also true after a longer session. We've done the work, and we carry on.
That's fine, and in most cases it's sufficient. But I've found there are two things you can add at the end of a session that make the tapping you just did more powerful and help you step into whatever comes next in the best possible state. It takes about 20 seconds.
Acknowledge what you just did and how it continues. Put yourself back in your body and allow yourself to move forward. A Quick Demonstration Assuming you're not driving, take a nice, big, deep breath and tune in for a moment. Do a round of wordless tapping, moving from point to point and remembering to breathe. You don't need to focus on anything. Just tap. I'll also tap the liver spot and the side of the hand at the end for good measure.
I already feel a little better. Now this is how we end.
Part One: Ground the Healing Here's what that looks like for me, as I tap:
I recognize that this is a healing process, not just a healing moment. As the rest of my day unfolds, the healing I just did is going to continue, because my system is a healing machine.
As that healing continues, there will be moments when I recognize it as it happens, and I can smile in appreciation. In other moments, it will happen in the background, completely anonymously. Even if I don't notice it, I appreciate that it's happening.
And as I sleep tonight, this healing and transformation will integrate into me on a cellular level. When I wake up tomorrow, it will be like a software update and a reboot, integrating the healing.
In short: I recognize that this is a healing process, that it will keep unfolding, that I might notice it and celebrate it, that it may also happen in the background and I can appreciate that, and that overnight it will integrate like a software update. This helps ground the healing we've done.
Part Two: Put It Away The second part goes like this:
Even though I'm returning to my day, I give myself permission to honor this work and put it away, the same way I would tidy up after a project. And if I need to return to this, I can unpack it again. But for now, I put it away so I can return to my day.
Here, we're saying, "I'm going to pack this up." Mentally, I can see myself closing all of the loops I opened during the work, so that when I step back into my day, I'm not carrying a giant open loop from the session I just did.
Keep It Simple You can do both parts, or just one. The first part is recognizing that this is a healing process, honoring it, and letting your system know it will continue. The second is saying, "I just did some work, I'm wrapping it up, and I'm putting it away so I can pull it out again in the future."
Together, they take less than a minute. Over time, I've found they make a huge difference. I can feel myself more grounded in the moment because of that little bit of tapping.
Try It Next Time The next time you sit down to tap, don't just think about the issue or how you're going to tap. Give yourself permission to spend a little time at the end. Feel the healing in your body. Acknowledge that healing is ongoing. Give your system permission to keep healing and to integrate. And remind yourself that you're tidying this up, so when it's time to work on it again, you're ready.
Any one of these ideas will make a difference. It makes your transition back into your day easier, which makes the tapping more powerful and the day better. There's also a hidden bonus: you're much more likely to come back and tap again, because your system saw that the work was valuable when you called that value out. Naming the healing process makes it so much easier to return.
You don't have to do this every time. If you've just done a minute of wordless tapping, you probably won't spend another minute on this. But the next time you do something powerful or go deep, give yourself permission to work through this little process.
Why I tap in is such an "odd" way
2026/10/09
One of my favorite parts about tapping is how flexible it is.
It is flexible in terms of the issues you tap on, how long you tap, how deep you go, and what you say.
What most people don't realize is that it is also flexible when it comes to how you tap on the points, which points you tap on, and in what order you tap on them.
This week on the podcast, I share lots of different ways you can tap and how you can get deeper results when you play around with them.
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Why I Tap in a Random Order Why are you tapping like that? Those were the first words the person sitting next to me in a coffee shop said to me on Saturday, and she said it with a questioning tone and almost disgust. Today I want to share exactly what I was doing while tapping in that coffee shop, why I do it that way, and why I think it is so effective.
One of the things I have become is comfortable tapping in public. Part of that is because I live in New York City, and if I happen to be standing on a street corner doing a little bit of tapping, I'm like the eighth weirdest thing on that street corner, so nobody notices. For the most part, people here let people live and let live. Most of the people I encounter aren't ever going to see me again, and I am tapping to make myself feel better in the moment, so I really don't care that much. When I'm doing work and my computer is processing something, like compressing audio or creating an output, I'm just waiting, so I will start tapping.
That's exactly what happened. Every Saturday and Sunday morning that I'm in town, I go to a coffee shop right around the corner, Devoción. I sit in the corner with a beautiful cup of coffee below a giant wall of plants and a giant skylight, and I do some work. On this particular morning my computer was processing something, and I was waiting on a download. They don't have internet on the weekend, so I was using my phone as a hotspot, which takes longer than I like. So I just started tapping, jumping from tapping point to tapping point without saying anything. That is when I got the accusation: why are you tapping like that?
My first response was actually excitement. She wasn't asking why I was tapping or what that thing was that I was doing. She knew what tapping was, and she knew enough about it to question my style. As someone who has spent almost the last two decades trying to share tapping with as many people as possible, that was a good thing.
The reason she questioned it is that I was hopping from point to point in what appeared to be a random fashion. When you have been taught to do something one way and someone else does it differently, it makes you ask questions. Maybe not as directly as my New York friends, but it does. Most of us were taught to start at the eyebrow and go from point to point, or to start at the tippy top of the head, or on the side of the hand. After going through the body, we might hit the liver spots or the fingers, but it all looks super organized.
The reason I don't follow that pattern is that it looks organized, but it's actually a random pattern. Every tapping point is associated with a different meridian. We go eyebrow, side of the eye, under the eye, under the nose, chin, because that is the next closest point. I've actually tried it, and it feels more natural to work top down. Tapping on the collarbone, then chin, then under the nose, then under the eye feels like work with each tap, whereas coming down the body just keeps lowering and lowering, and that is easier than working back up to the top. So it makes sense that we tap that way.
Why do we do that? The predecessor to EFT, Emotional Freedom Techniques, as most of us know it, was something called Thought Field Therapy, created by Roger Callahan. In Thought Field Therapy, you tapped in a particular order for a particular issue. There might be one sequence where you go collarbone, eyebrow, under the eye, side of the hand, and another where you go index finger, under the eye, tippy top of the head, under the nose. There are a number of prescribed sequences for certain issues, and when you're working with a client, you can muscle test your way to something more useful.
Many of Callahan's early students loved Thought Field Therapy and thought tapping was great, but they also recognized it was really complicated. They wondered whether they could find a single algorithm, which is what Callahan called tapping in a given order. Maybe it wouldn't be as powerful as Thought Field Therapy, but it would be much easier to teach. If you've ever tried to explain tapping to someone, you're already getting them over the hurdle of this weird thing where we tap on our bodies. Now you also need to explain that when it's anger, you tap in this order, and when it's sadness, you tap in that order. That is a really difficult thing to share with someone in a casual setting.
So Gary Craig's thought was that if you hit every single tapping point and go through the sequence, eventually you will get the points in the right order. The first time through you hit the eyebrow, the second time through the top of the head, the third time through under the eye, and so on, until eventually the points land in the right order. It feels like a really organized way to tap, but it's random.
As I thought about this and played with it, I realized I don't know how to do Thought Field Therapy, but I do know how to tap, and I wondered whether I could intuit my way into a tapping sequence that made more sense. So I started to play. I would ask myself where to tap, and my hand would be drawn to my collarbone. Where do I tap next? My hand would be drawn to under my nose. Then the eyebrow, then under the eye, then the side of the hand. The more I did it, the stronger the sensations in my body got.
One of two things was happening. Possibility number one is that because I was being thoughtful, deliberate, and present, I was actually finding a faster way to healing and transformation. Possibility number two is that I am absolutely delusional and making stuff up, and those physical sensations are nothing other than physical sensations in my body that have nothing to do with tapping.
But if we go back to the original premise, eyebrow, side of the eye, under the eye, under the nose, chin is a random order. It's organized by proximity, not by function. It's like when I go out in my neighborhood to pick things up. I go to the post office, then the grocery store, then the drugstore, then pick up laundry. That's not the order those things need to be done in. It's the order they are in my neighborhood, so it becomes a little loop. Functionally, the standard tapping sequence is random, designed around the way my body is lined up.
So my thought was that if I tap in some random order, I'm exchanging one random sequence for another. Eyebrow, side of the eye, under the eye, under the nose, chin is random. Eyebrow, chin, under the eye, side of the eye is also random. At worst, I'm trading one random sequence for another. At best, I'm trading a random sequence for a sequence that my body is giving me information about, which makes it less random and therefore possibly more effective. I think of the old Yellow Pages slogan: I'm letting my fingers do the walking, tapping whatever comes next.
I don't do this when I'm tapping on screen, and I don't do this when I'm teaching. For the most part I don't do it when I'm tapping with clients either, because with a client I'm having them tune into issues and figure out what's going on, and then I give them instruction. Now tap here, now tap here, now tap here. That starts to get in the way of healing and transformation. But when I'm tapping on my own, there is no distraction, and the more I've done this, the more my hand just jumps all over the place.
As I evaluate this, I look at it through a few lenses. The first question I ask when I'm trying something new is how it's working. I have found it effective. Is it more effective than tapping in the sequence we've all been taught? I don't know. I think it is, but it's not making things worse.
Second, I'm a really big advocate for the minimal viable solution, which means doing just enough. Sometimes when I tap, I just tap on my collarbone because that is enough. Sometimes I tap on the side of my hand and then under my nose, the side of my hand and under my nose, over and over, because for what is at hand, that is enough for me to have the relief I want. So when I'm tapping, I tap in the way that makes the most sense to me, and the way that makes the most sense is to let my hands wander all over the place.
That is why she asked, why are you tapping like that? It's because I was tapping in a way she was not used to.
I am not saying you need to tap in a random order. I am not saying you need to tune into your body and see where to tap next. I'm simply saying this is something I tried. In the trying of it, it feels like it's making a difference, and it doesn't cost me anything because I'm trading one random thing for another random thing. That is why I tap in weird ways in coffee shops at 7:30 in the morning, so my neighbors can question what the hell I'm thinking and what I'm doing.
So give it a try and let me know how it works for you. This is not a homework assignment, and I'm not telling you it's the best way to do anything. I'd just be curious to hear what your particular experience is. And if you know a tapper in your life, you might want to share this with them so the two of you can have a conversation and play around with it together.
The 4-steps to find hidden resistance and limiting beliefs
2026/10/01
Tapping for limiting beliefs and resistance is a very straightforward process.
All you need to do is name the limiting belief, why the limiting belief thinks it is being helpful, and then share the truth about what is really happening.
When you combine this with tapping it rewrites your subconscious.
The problem is not clearing the limiting belief. Instead the problem is knowing what the limiting beliefs are because the subconscious mind doesn't think about them as limiting beliefs. Instead, the subconscious simply sees the limiting belief as how the world works.
If clearing the limiting belief is the easy part, then finding the limiting beliefs is the hardest part.
This week in the podcast I am going to share with you the tool I use every day to find limiting beliefs. I use this every time I tap and I use this in every tapping session I do with clients.
This is the most useful framework I have ever created and I know you are going to love it!
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Finding Your Limiting Beliefs with the SAWD Framework Clearing limiting beliefs with tapping is really easy. Basically, all you're doing is naming the limiting belief, naming why it's not true, and naming what is true instead while you're tapping. I went into a lot of detail on that in episode 726. That's not the problem. The problem is naming the limiting belief. So today, I'm going to share the exact process I use every single time I tap to find the limiting beliefs, so it becomes really easy for me to tap on them.
This is Gene Monterastelli, and welcome to the Tapping Q&A Podcast, recorded live to tape from Williamsburg in Brooklyn. This is episode 728, originally aired October 1st, 2026.
Hi, everyone. I hope this finds you well, wherever you are and whatever time of day you're getting a chance to listen. Thanks for spending a little time with me today.
Why Limiting Beliefs Are So Hard to Spot As I'm recording this, we are on the precipice of this year's Integrated Tapping Summit, where I bring together some of my favorite tappers and we answer questions about a specific topic. We knit those answers together, so you're not just hearing from one expert, you're hearing from lots of them. If you're not signed up, you can join us absolutely free at integratedtappingsummit.com.
I love the conversations I have because I get to put lots of people's ideas side by side, and I'm always fascinated by the questions that require the most attention. Because the summit is edited, my guests get to sit and let a question wash over them before they answer, and they receive the questions ahead of time so they can think about them.
Last year, the question that caught people the most was about limiting beliefs: how do I know I am carrying a limiting belief? This question matters because the subconscious mind doesn't think it's a limiting belief. The subconscious mind just thinks it is true. When it's operating from that belief, it's not saying, "This is a limiting belief that's holding me back." It's just saying, "This is how we stay safe." And since the subconscious mind thinks it's true, it becomes much harder for us to unpack.
Giving Away the Transformation Last week I was at a small business marketing conference, and one of the presenters, Brian Mark, a personal trainer, was talking about his approach to social media. He said something fascinating. In the free content you create, in your videos, your social media, and your podcasts, give your audience enough information that they could reach complete transformation without ever hiring you.
That's something I've always tried to do. We've been going at this for 17 years, and nothing has been held back. But today I'm going to do exactly that as we look at how to uncover limiting beliefs. I'm going to share a simple framework that I use every single day in my tapping, and it has transformed my results, both when I'm tapping on my own and when I'm working with my clients.
If you are new to tapping and have no idea what I'm talking about, tapping is a tool we can use to transform the limiting beliefs and stories we're carrying in our subconscious mind that no longer serve us. If you know what the limiting belief is, tapping on it is easy as long as you know how to tap. I've put together a free guide that teaches you all the basics at learntotap.com. You can take the framework I'm teaching today, combine it with that basic information, and start to heal and transform your subconscious mind.
What a Limiting Belief Actually Is Before we jump in, it's important to talk more deeply about what a limiting belief is. It's just a story we're carrying. All of the stories in our subconscious mind are the rules about the way the world works. They guide us moment to moment so that we're not having to think in every single moment, because thinking takes so much energy. It's the reason you can walk out of a really difficult class feeling like you ran a marathon. Our subconscious was designed as an energy-saving mechanism.
For example, if I'm in my kitchen and my gas stove is on with a blue flame, I don't have to think about whether I should touch it. I'm carrying a story in my subconscious that says blue flame, really hot, don't touch. That is a limiting belief. It limits where I put my hand, but in that case it's keeping me safe.
Here's another example. There are people in my life who drive me crazy and get me all dysregulated. When I see them, my instinct might be to walk out of the room, or not open their email, or not answer the phone. That is also a limiting belief. It says this person is bad for me to talk to in the middle of my day, so I'm going to limit my action. Again, the belief is keeping me safe.
So the issue, when it comes to creating the authentic lives we love and taking the actions that are right for us, is not about eliminating limiting beliefs. It's about making sure the limiting beliefs we're carrying in our subconscious are proportionate and well informed. That's why the question is so hard to answer. How do I know whether a limiting belief is actually a limiting belief or just true? When I operate from it, it just feels true.
The work we need to do is pull these beliefs out into the light of day, because the moment they're out there, we can tap on them. Again, see episode 726 for a simple four-part formula to tap on any limiting belief you uncover. If you marry that formula with what we're covering today, you'll be able to tap on almost anything. So the question becomes how to identify what those limiting beliefs are.
How the Framework Came Together I've been wrestling with this for a really long time, because it's the work I do for myself and with my clients. About four years ago, I started brainstorming all of the limiting beliefs I had experienced in my own life and all the ones I could remember from clients. I jotted them down and started to categorize them. I wasn't looking for a laundry list of eight million limiting beliefs to investigate. I was trying to find a framework to understand what was going on, because when I have a system, things become predictable and I'm not just guessing. The system isn't perfect, but it narrows things down and makes it easier for us.
I'm always looking for frameworks, systems, and taxonomies. Every class I teach in the Tapping Mastery Academy starts with a bunch of definitions, because when we understand the terms and the framework, creating change becomes so much easier. We have lenses to look through to understand our lived experience.
As I worked through this, I realized there were four basic categories that almost every piece of resistance lives in. It's not absolute, and sometimes a belief lives in multiple places. But even if the framework isn't perfect, it is more than sufficient to create real, lasting, deep change.
Think for a moment about what it would be like to finally understand why you haven't taken that action you've wanted to take for days, weeks, months, or years. Once you know why, you have this magical tool, tapping, to help you unknit that belief so it's easier to take action. That's what's at stake here. This is a way to move from being stuck to taking action, if you're willing to dive in.
The Four Categories of Resistance The framework comes in four parts, and the acronym is SAWD: Safe, Allowed, Worthy, Deserving. I didn't come up with the acronym and backfill it. It just came that way, because that is the order in which I work through these things when I'm tapping. Let's take them one at a time.
Safe Because our resistance is just trying to keep us safe, category number one is safe. It makes sense that I have resistance when something is not safe. The stove is hot, so I don't touch it. The cage has a lion inside, so I don't climb over it. It starts to rain and gets really dark, so I slow down. All of those are limits that keep me safe.
When I'm resisting an action, the first thing I want to discover is what part of me thinks taking this action is unsafe. Sometimes there is a sense of physical safety. I don't want to fly in an airplane because it feels unsafe, since the plane could fall from the sky. But there are other kinds of unsafe. I could do something and people might laugh at me. That is unsafe. I could invest time and energy and fail. That is unsafe. This is the most primitive type of protection we have, because we have a genetic imperative to survive so our species can continue.
Allowed Number two is allowed. Allowed is nothing more than safety in community. Because of the history of our species, we once lived in little tribal communities of between 100 and 125 people. This was pre-technology, and often we were nomadic, so that tribe, that band of humans, that family, was how we stayed alive. We needed each other to hunt, to gather food, to keep predators at bay, and to take care of
3 words that make clearing limiting beliefs easier
2026/09/28
One of the most frustrating moments in tapping is when you know a belief is holding you back, you tap on it again and again, and it simply won't budge.
That's because your subconscious mind doesn't see a limiting belief as limiting. It sees it as the truth about the world and the very thing that keeps you safe.
Some of those beliefs are genuinely useful. My belief that tigers are not kind and cuddly keeps me on the right side of the fence at the zoo. The trouble comes when a belief is disproportionate and misinformed.
Last week, in episode 726 of the podcast, I shared the four-part formula I use in almost every round of tapping. At its heart, that formula is a negotiation with the subconscious mind. Even in the middle of that negotiation, though, the subconscious can dig in its heels, because it doesn't trust what you'll do once the resistance comes down.
Over time I have found three words that change that conversation. When I bring them into a round of tapping, I can feel my system decompress almost immediately.
This week in the podcast, I share those three words, why they speak the language of the subconscious mind, and a short round of tapping you can follow along with so you can feel the difference for yourself.
Once you hear them, you'll want to use them in almost every round of tapping you do.
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Transcript:
Are you tired of fighting your subconscious mind when you're trying to clear a limiting belief with tapping? Today, I'm going to share with you the three words that make clearing limiting beliefs so much easier and that should be used in almost every round of tapping.
When we're tapping to create transformation and healing, and we're trying to clear a limiting belief, our subconscious mind doesn't want us to clear that limiting belief. That's because the subconscious mind doesn't see it as a limiting belief. Instead, the subconscious mind sees it as how we stay safe. So if the limiting belief is "I can't be successful at this," what's really happening is the subconscious mind is saying, "If we try this, we're probably going to fail, which is going to be painful, which is going to be embarrassing, which is going to cause all sorts of issues. So what I'm going to do is make success so scary that you don't take action."
So it's a tool. It's trying to keep us safe. And it's great that we have limiting beliefs that keep us safe. I have a limiting belief about whether or not tigers are kind and cuddly, so that when I'm at the zoo, I don't climb over the cage and try to cuddle one. It's trying to keep me safe. When I'm driving and all of a sudden it starts raining and gets dark, I immediately start slowing down. That limiting belief is a form of resistance that acts as a governor to keep me safe.
So limiting beliefs are not the problem. The problem is when we have a limiting belief that is disproportionate and misinformed. That's why tapping on and transforming limiting beliefs is so difficult. Our subconscious mind does not want to let go of this thing, because to it, it's not a belief. It's the truth about the world. And so it becomes really difficult for us to tap on that particular issue.
Last week on the podcast, in episode 726 (link in the show notes), we talked about the four-part structure I use whenever I sit down to tap. That structure exists so that as I'm working through an issue, I'm getting my subconscious mind on board. If you think back to that process, we're acknowledging what's going on, we're naming what the subconscious is doing and what its motivation is, and then we're explaining to the subconscious mind why the way it's acting is actually getting in the way. We're having a negotiation with the subconscious mind.
Now remember, since the subconscious mind doesn't think it's a limiting belief but a truth about the world, even when we're in a place of negotiation, it's going to be hard for us to let a limiting belief go. I'm negotiating with the subconscious mind and its efforts to keep me safe, and I'm saying I want to act in a new way, but the subconscious mind does not trust me. So I found three words that are super powerful to introduce in that moment in my tapping, which allow my subconscious mind to get on board with that change.
Those words are thoughtless, reckless, and careless.
That's what the subconscious mind thinks is going to happen. It thinks if we take this obstacle down, if we take this resistance down, I'm going to go crazy. If I go from being afraid that I'm going to be judged to not being afraid that I'm going to be judged, I'm going to go out there and do 87 million things. I'm going to try all of the things, and I'm going to do lots of stupid things. My subconscious mind does not trust me, and that's the reason the resistance is in place.
So when I'm going to change a subconscious belief, I use those three words. Let's say I'm afraid of putting myself out there because I'm afraid I'm going to be judged. Here's how the tapping looks when we introduce those three words. Tap on the side of the hand and take a nice big deep breath to settle in, then tap along with me and move from point to point.
I recognize that my subconscious mind is preventing me from taking action because it's afraid that if I take this action, I am going to be judged. That's why it's holding me back. But I recognize that by not taking action, I'm actually staying stuck, and that is more dangerous. Taking action is how I grow. So even though this part of me wants me to be safe and healthy, I give myself permission to know it is possible for me to take action and put myself out there without being thoughtless. I can put myself out there without being reckless. I can put myself out there without being careless. Simply taking more action doesn't mean I'm taking all the action. I'm doing it in a thoughtful and deliberate way.
Nice, easy breath.
That was super quick, and we weren't tuning into anything specific. But even in that little demonstration, with words I use all the time, as I tapped on not being thoughtless, not being reckless, and not being careless, I immediately felt my system decompress. My system went from "No, we can't do this" to "Okay, I trust you a little bit. Take your time. Step out there."
With this, I'm not trying to flip a switch. I'm not trying to force my subconscious mind to believe something new. Consciously, I know I can believe something new. But this is super important, and I want you to remember it: the words we say when we're tapping are not about what we need to hear consciously. The words we say when we're tapping are about what we need to hear subconsciously, so the subconscious comes along.
I'm regularly saying things when I'm tapping that I don't believe intellectually, because I'm gently pulling the subconscious along. Saying I'm going to be easy, saying I'm going to be gentle, saying I'm going to do this in a slow, deliberate way is just about getting that part to relax. Typically what happens is it then allows me to move faster than I would have before. It allows me to try in a way that creates deeper understanding and change.
When that part relaxes just a little bit, we then take some action that is not thoughtless, reckless, or careless. We're giving the subconscious mind proof that we can do this and still be safe. The limiting belief feels like it's trying to stop us, but it's not. It's trying to keep us safe. So we work with that part by saying, "I'm going to take more action in a thoughtful and deliberate way, which is safe."
Thoughtless, careless, reckless: unsafe. Thoughtful, deliberate: safe.
What we're doing is speaking the language of the subconscious mind.
So the next time you're tapping to clear a limiting belief, it's super simple. As you act in a new way, introduce this: "I'm not going to do it thoughtlessly. I'm not going to do it recklessly. I'm not going to do it carelessly." Those three words will unlock the subconscious mind and make it easier for you to take action.
Tap for any issue with these 4 steps
2026/09/18
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Just because we know the power of tapping doesn't mean we know exactly the best way to tap. Today I'm going to share the simple four-part formula I use for almost every single tapping script I write for my clients, for the videos I make, and when I'm tapping on my own.
Where This Formula Came From Recently I was talking with one of my clients, and she wanted to do some tapping around being able to create some YouTube videos. She wasn't looking to create videos for the general public. Instead, she wanted to create videos just to share with her family, so they could tap a little more and make tapping easier for them, since they know so little about it. After we did some work on the insecurity of being on camera and producing something good, we started talking about how I actually create tapping scripts.
It's not just me talking. There's a very specific formula, and it came out of years of working with thousands of clients and doing tens of thousands of rounds of tapping. Some of that recognition came from paying attention to what was happening in the moment, and a lot of it came from going back and re-listening to those sessions. What I found is that there are four parts that show up in every single one of my rounds of tapping. If you go look at any of the videos I've produced over the last three or four years where you see tapping scripts, you'll see this formula over and over again.
The four-part formula works for any issue at all. It could be a limiting belief, a physical sensation, a struggle to take action, whatever it is. It doesn't matter what the issue is. These four steps work every time as a jumping-off point and as a framework.
Step One: State What's Going On and How You Feel About It The first step is no different than sitting down with a friend and talking about what's going on in your life. Let's say it's a limiting belief that's holding you back from taking action. It might sound something like, "I really want to create these videos, but I just can't get myself to sit down and do it. I'm disappointed, I'm frustrated, I'm overwhelmed."
All you're doing is saying what's going on and how you feel about it. There might be multiple details and multiple feelings, and that's fine. Give yourself permission to roll through it, chapter and verse. This is what's going on. This is how I feel about it. You can even say what you don't know: I'm not exactly sure what's going on, or I'm not sure how I feel about it. It's just honest reporting.
The first part is simply providing witness to what's going on in your life. Say what you know, say how you feel about it. Say what you don't know, say how you feel about that too.
Step Two: Recognize and Appreciate the System's Intent The second step is recognizing that our system is trying to keep us safe and healthy. There's a difference between our system wanting to keep us healthy and actually keeping us healthy, but that's what it's trying to do.
For example, resistance to taking action is trying to keep me safe because my system is afraid of that action. So the second part of this formula is pointing out what the resistance is trying to do. My system is resisting this task right now because it's afraid I'm going to get in trouble, or afraid I'm going to get judged. Once we've acknowledged what it's trying to do, we appreciate that intention. I appreciate the fact that my resistance is trying to keep me safe.
Here's something key to notice. We are not saying, "I appreciate the fact that I am resisting taking action." Instead, we're appreciating the intention to keep us safe. That means we're no longer fighting with the resistance, the physical sensation, or the limiting belief. We're appreciating that it's our body trying to communicate something with us and trying to keep us safe.
There's a real difference between affirming something's intention and affirming what it's doing. If I'm just saying "stop this, stop this, stop this," I'm battling with myself. Think about working with someone in your life who's acting from good intention but causing problems. It's much easier to get them to act in a new way if you start by saying, "I appreciate what you're trying to do, I appreciate that you're trying to be helpful." That gets them on your side. We're doing the exact same thing with the stories we carry in our subconscious mind and the resistance we're feeling.
Step Three: Let It Know How It's Getting in the Way This is where the reframe starts to happen. Now we share with the resistance, the physical sensation, or the limiting belief how it is getting in the way. I appreciate the fact that this part wants me to be safe, but if I don't take action, I'm not going to grow my business. If I don't take action, I'm going to miss out on opportunities. Even though it's trying to keep me safe, it's actually putting me in danger.
Step Four: Let It Know What You Want Instead The fourth step is letting the system know what we want instead. I appreciate the fact that you're trying to keep me safe, and I want to be safe as I'm taking action. As the fear diminishes, that doesn't mean I'm going to be thoughtless or reckless or careless.
We're not trying to get rid of the fear, we're trying to turn the fear down. We're not trying to get rid of the resistance, we're trying to make it proportionate and well-informed. We're not trying to eliminate the pain, we're trying to let the system know we hear the pain and we're taking appropriate action, so it no longer needs to sound the alarm.
Putting It Together To recap the four steps:
State what's going on and how you feel about it. Appreciate the fact that your system is trying to keep you healthy. Let your system know how it's getting in the way. Tell your system what you'd like instead. When I create thirty days of tapping topics, for example, I take each topic and think about my own experience where I'm struggling with it, then I just move through these four steps in my mind. I don't hold all four at once. It's simply: what's step one? What's going on, and how do I feel? When that feels like it's extinguished and worked its way out, I move to step two: this is what my system is trying to tell me. Then step three: this is how it's getting in the way. Then step four: this is what I want my system to know instead.
It's not about a specific number of words, phrases, or taps. You're working through the idea until you've worked through the idea. After a round of tapping, take a deep breath, tune back in, and work through the process again. What do I notice and how do I feel now? What is my system trying to tell me now? How is this still getting in the way? What information do I need to reinforce or introduce as new?
When In Doubt, Just Do Step One If you're in the moment and feeling really emotionally charged, it's often enough to just do step one. Months ago, I was working with a client who was really struggling with an anger issue. I told her that between now and our next session, the tapping I'd like her to do is simply: "I'm really angry because. I'm really angry because. I'm really angry because." She asked what to do next, and I told her nothing, that's it.
When we engage that way, fully articulated emotions tend to be short-lived. So if we're tapping and going through that process, it can make a huge difference. It really is that simple.
Those are the four steps I use every single time I create a tapping script: state what's going on, appreciate the fact that my system's trying to keep me healthy, let my system know how it's getting in the way, and tell the system what I'd like instead. Work through those four things and you'll be surprised how easy it becomes.
Tapping for anxiety without having to get into the details
2026/09/11
Over the last week I have heard from a number of clients who have reported feeling a general sense of anxiety and grief around the 25th anniversary of the terrorist attacks of September 11th in New York City and Washington, DC.
Feeling bad about painful anniversaries and global events is not unusual. A common concern when tapping for this sort of anxiety is that working with the details will only worsen how we feel.
This week in the podcast, I share a simple tool to tap for that anxiety and general sense of dread.
I have also provided a printout of the tapping process, which only makes sense after you listen to the podcast.
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A new way to tap with affirmations
2026/08/27
One of the most frequent questions that I receive in the Tapping Q&A inbox is about whether we should be tapping on positive or negative phrases.
People are often concerned that if you tap on a negative phrase, you will tap a negative belief into your subconscious mind.
The good news is that you can't tap negative thoughts in.
Even so, it can feel heavy and even discouraging to be tapping constantly on feeling bad or on what is going wrong in your life. Preferring to tap on positive phrases makes perfect sense.
The problem is, tapping on a positive phrase that feels emotionally untrue is difficult.
This issue comes up with even the most basic recipe for the EFT set-up phrase. It can be hard to say "Even though I have this issue, I deeply and completely accept myself" with any kind of conviction. (I tackled this exact struggle in depth in episode 721 of the podcast.)
When a tapping phrase feels like a lie, you are less likely to engage with the tapping AND you are more likely to end the round of tapping sooner.
Recently, I was my interviewing my friend (and all-around amazing tapper) Jackie Viramontez for this year's version of the Integrated Tapping Summit and she shared a new way of thinking about tapping with affirmations.
The moment she said it, I knew it was something that I needed to try. Not only was it powerful, it was more powerful than I could have imagined.
In this week's podcast I am sharing Jackie's idea, plus the ways I have adapted it to my personal tapping style.
This is an approach that every tapper should have in their transformational tool box.
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A new level of self-forgiveness with tapping
2026/08/21
When we are tapping to clear limiting beliefs, we often encounter the moment in time we picked up a particular belief.
As a practitioner, I especially love this type of work because it means we get the chance to heal the inner child. For my money, this is some of the most profound and meaningful work we can do when tapping.
I am currently in the midst of doing the interviews for the 2026 version of the Integrated Tapping Summit. This year, an entire section is dedicated to clearing limiting beliefs with tapping. When I was interviewing Sarah Tobin a few days ago about limiting beliefs, she shared an insight that had never occurred to me.
She was talking about a certain type of forgiveness work that can support inner child healing. The moment she said it, it resonated deeply with my experience of healing.
My first thought was, "Why didn't I notice this before?!"
It is a simple, powerful approach to healing.
This week in the podcast, I share exactly how I started using the idea and how, after just a few days, it has already unlocked healing I didn't know I even needed.
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Tapping for Limiting Beliefs – A 5-Step Process That Works in Under 3 Minutes
2026/08/17
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Limiting beliefs are one of the most common obstacles I hear about from people in the tapping community, and they are also one of the things tapping is best equipped to address. In nearly two decades of working with clients and students, tapping for limiting beliefs has become one of my favorite applications of EFT, because the results are direct, fast, and felt immediately in daily life.
TL;DR / Key Takeaways A limiting belief is a subconscious affirmation about how the world works that exists to keep you safe, not to hold you back. It only becomes a problem when it is disproportionate to actual risk or based on inaccurate information. Intellectual understanding alone cannot clear a limiting belief. Transformation requires working at the subconscious level, which is exactly where EFT tapping operates through a process called memory reconsolidation. The five-step tapping process for limiting beliefs takes under three minutes and can be used immediately on any belief that is getting in your way. Fighting or dismissing a limiting belief makes it dig in harder. The key is to first acknowledge the belief's protective intention, then show it how it is working against you. Replacing a limiting belief requires a statement the subconscious can actually accept. Overclaiming ("everything will be perfect") creates resistance. A grounded permission statement creates movement. Why Limiting Beliefs Are So Hard to Shake Limiting beliefs are hard to shake because they are not flaws in your thinking. They are features of your protective system doing exactly what they were designed to do. Your subconscious mind holds on to these beliefs precisely because it believes they are keeping you safe.
Think about it this way: I do not jump into the tiger cage at the zoo. That is a limiting belief. But I do not experience it as one because it is proportionate to real danger. The limiting beliefs that cause us problems work the same way on the inside. They generate resistance to protect us from what they perceive as threat, whether that threat is rejection, failure, judgment, or loss.
This is why willpower and positive thinking rarely work on their own. If you try to override a protective belief by force, the subconscious mind digs its heels in. The resistance is not an enemy. It is a misguided guardian.
What Is a Limiting Belief, Really? A limiting belief is a subconscious affirmation about how the world works that is either inaccurate, disproportionate, or based on outdated information. It exists to create protective resistance, not to punish you.
This definition matters because it completely changes how you approach the work. Most people treat their limiting beliefs as character defects or signs that something is fundamentally broken in them. But a limiting belief is just a story your subconscious mind wrote, probably a long time ago, with the information it had available at the time. The story made sense once. It just has not been updated.
Key insight: "Limiting beliefs are always going to get the best of us. They keep us safe. What we're really frustrated by is the fact that the limiting belief has gotten in the way of us doing the thing we want because it's not doing it in a way that's proportionate or that is well informed."
Every limiting belief you carry is trying to protect you from something. The question is never whether the protection is well-intentioned. It always is. The question is whether it is accurate and proportionate to the actual situation in front of you right now.
Why Tapping for Limiting Beliefs Works When Willpower Doesn't Tapping works on limiting beliefs because it targets the subconscious level where those beliefs actually live, through a neurological process called memory reconsolidation. Willpower operates at the conscious level and cannot reach them.
Memory reconsolidation is the process by which stored memories and the emotional responses attached to them are retrieved, modified, and re-saved. When you tap while focusing on a limiting belief, you are not just thinking differently about a problem. You are creating the conditions for the subconscious story to be rewritten and stored again in a new form. This is what makes tapping categorically different from affirmations, journaling, or talk therapy alone, all of which are enormously valuable but operate primarily at the conscious level.
Key insight: "It is not enough to simply intellectually understand that the limiting belief you are carrying is not true. If all it required for you to transform a limiting belief was to know that it was not true, then the only thing we would need for healing and transformation are bumper stickers and posters of kitty cats hanging in there."
This is why knowing better is not enough. You can know, with full certainty, that your fear of rejection is irrational, and still feel the brakes go on every time you try to put yourself out there. Tapping is one of the few tools that reaches both the conscious and subconscious levels simultaneously.
If you want to understand more about why the subconscious mind resists change even when you consciously want it, this episode on the subconscious tug of war goes deep on that dynamic.
The 5-Step Tapping Process for Limiting Beliefs The five-step tapping process for limiting beliefs takes under three minutes and can be applied immediately to any belief that is currently getting in your way. You do not need to have all the steps memorized. A reasonable guess at each one is enough to get results.
To illustrate each step, I will use a concrete example: the belief that says "I can't ask this person to partner with me because they're going to reject me and I'll feel foolish."
Step 1: Wordless Tapping Start with one full minute of tapping with no words at all. Move from point to point at your own pace, taking a deep breath as you begin. If you do not want to set a timer, three or four rounds of six to seven taps per point will cover it.
Wordless tapping does two things: it settles your nervous system and brings you into your body before you begin the heavier cognitive work. Starting a limiting belief session already activated makes every subsequent step harder. This first step is short, but skipping it costs you. For a deeper look at how content-free tapping works and when to use it, see this episode on eight ways to use content-free tapping.
Step 2: Name the Belief and Its Impact Tap through the points while saying out loud what the belief is and what it is causing you to do (or not do). Something like: "I recognize that I am carrying this belief, and the belief is [your belief here], and this limiting belief is preventing me from taking action, making me hesitant, and stopping me from doing what I want."
Naming the belief out loud does something important: it moves it from a vague background feeling into a specific, examinable object. You cannot address what you cannot clearly see.
Step 3: Honor the Belief's Protective Intent Still tapping, shift to acknowledging what the belief is trying to do for you: "I recognize that this limiting belief exists because it is simply trying to keep me safe. It does not want me to rush in, be judged, be rejected, or do something foolish. And I appreciate the fact that it is holding me back in an effort to keep me safe."
This step is not about agreeing that the belief is correct. It is about getting your subconscious mind on board with the process.
Key insight: "It's kind of like a handshake with the subconscious mind saying we're on the same team. If I say, subconscious mind, you're wrong, it's going to dig its heels in."
Skipping this step is one of the most common reasons tapping on limiting beliefs stalls. The subconscious mind will not release a belief it thinks you are attacking. This episode on turning intellectual pushback into tapping progress explores this pattern in more detail.
Step 4: Show the Belief How It's Backfiring Now, still tapping, let the belief know that its protective strategy is producing the opposite of what it intends: "Even though you are trying to keep me safe, you are actually doing the exact opposite. You are making the world more dangerous because you are preventing me from doing the things that will help me grow, evolve, and move forward."
This step works because it speaks the subconscious mind's language. You are not telling it it is wrong. You are showing it that its own goal, your safety and wellbeing, is better served by loosening its grip.
Step 5: Replace It with a Credible Truth Finally, tap while offering a realistic replacement: "I appreciate the fact that it is possible for me, in thoughtful and deliberate ways, to move forward safely. This does not mean I am going to be thoughtless or reckless. I am engaging with this in thoughtful and deliberate ways, and I give myself permission to trust that I can move forward safely."
Notice what this step does not say. It does not say "everything will work out perfectly" or "there is nothing to worry about." Those statements are not believable to the subconscious mind, and an unbelievable affirmation creates resistance rather than releasing it. The goal is a truth the subconscious can accept, a permission statement that says: I can move, and moving does not mean abandoning care.
Why You Can't Just Think Your Way Out of a Limiting Belief Thinking alone cannot clear a limiting belief because the belief does not live in your thinking mind. It lives in the subconscious, and the subconscious does not respond to logic.
Reading the right book, understanding why a belief is irrational, or receiving encouragement can all be genuinely useful. But none of them reach the level where the belief is actually stored. They inform the conscious mind without rewriting the subconscious story.
Tapping works a
My complicated relationship with the EFT Set-Up Phrase has been resolved
2026/08/06
I have been tapping for close to 20 years. From the very beginning I have struggled with the set-up phrase from Gary Craig's EFT basic recipe.
Gary engorged us to start every round of tapping my tapping on the side of our hands, saying "Even though I have this issue I deeply and completely accept myself". As EFT spread the phrase evolved into "Even though I have this issue I deeply and completely love and accept myself" for many.
My issue has never been with the idea behind the phrase. I love the healing principle acceptance and how it is a useful tool in transformation.
My struggle has been with its placement in the healing process.
As valuable as acceptance is, it can be emotionally hard to start with the idea of accepting yourself, especially when you are in emotional distress.
After trying to wrap my head around why the set-up phrase didn't work for me for the last twenty years, I now have clarity about my struggle.
This week in the podcast I explore what I have learned about my own healing journey and its relationship to the set-up.
It doesn't matter if you love or hate the set-up phrase, this conversation is going to make acceptance during healing something that is easy to achieve.
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Tapping for better sleep
2026/08/04
One of the most common questions I get is whether you can use tapping for sleep. The short answer is yes. But there is an important caveat that changes everything about how you approach it.
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TL;DR / Key Takeaways Poor sleep is a symptom, not a standalone issue. Effective tapping for sleep means identifying and addressing the specific causes driving your sleeplessness, not just tapping on sleep itself. The frustration and disappointment you feel about not sleeping create a biochemical cycle in your body that makes sleep even harder. Tapping on those emotions, done during the day, breaks that cycle before bedtime arrives. Your subconscious mind may have hidden reasons to keep you from sleeping well. A counterintuitive but important question to tap on is: what goes wrong in my life if I do sleep well? Wordless tapping, which means tapping through the acupressure points without focusing on any specific issue, is the only tapping I recommend doing close to bedtime. It helps the body process cortisol and adrenaline without escalating emotional intensity. Sleep improvement is not all-or-nothing. Going from four hours to six hours of restful sleep is a genuine victory that improves your next day in measurable ways. Why Tapping for Sleep Is More Complicated Than It Sounds Tapping can improve your sleep, but only when you recognize that poor sleep is a symptom rather than the issue itself. This distinction changes everything about how you approach your tapping practice.
I learned this firsthand on a Thanksgiving night when I was staying at my sister's house and woke up with a severe headache. I had no access to medication, so I tried tapping for the pain. It worked. Not only did the pain ease, but I fell back to sleep and slept deeply for the rest of the night. The tapping was not about sleep at all. It addressed the physical pain that was blocking sleep. The sleep improved as a consequence.
That experience planted a principle I have used in my practice ever since. When someone comes to me struggling to sleep, we never just tap on sleep. We look at what is actually getting in the way.
Poor sleep can have many causes: the worry you are carrying about tomorrow, memories that surface when you lie down in the dark, the temperature in your room, what you ate for dinner, or the emotional weight you have been dragging through your day. Each of those causes requires its own tapping work. Tapping on "sleep" as a generic target skips past all of that.
Sleep Problems Are a Symptom, Not the Real Issue Key insight: "Sleeping is not one issue. Not sleeping very well is a consequence, and it can be a consequence of lots of things, but it's a symptom."
This framing matters because it reorients where you direct your tapping energy. If you only tap on the surface symptom, you may get temporary relief. But if you tap on the underlying causes, you create lasting change.
The consequences of poor sleep also extend well beyond one bad night. A headache might knock out 90 minutes of productive time. A bad night of sleep cascades through your entire next day, affecting your mood, your focus, your patience, and your physical health. The stakes are high, which is exactly why a surface-level approach is not enough.
Once you accept that sleep is downstream of other issues, you open up a whole landscape of things worth tapping on. Understanding how to find root causes is one of the most valuable skills you can develop as a tapper, and sleep is one of the clearest places that skill pays off.
Step 1: Tap on the Emotions You Have About Not Sleeping Tapping on the emotions surrounding your sleep problem is the first and most important place to start. This is not the same as tapping on sleep itself. This is tapping on how you feel about the sleep you are not getting.
Ask yourself: am I frustrated? Sad? Angry that my coworker bounces in energized every morning while I can barely get through the day? Do I feel like my body is letting me down? Every one of those emotions has a biochemical expression in your body.
Key insight: "Every single one of those emotions creates a biochemical response in your body, which makes it harder for you to sleep."
Here is the vicious cycle that creates. You feel frustrated about your sleep. That frustration is present as you get into bed. The frustration makes it harder to fall asleep. You sleep worse. Tomorrow night you bring even more frustration to bed with you. The pattern tightens.
Tapping in the late afternoon, away from bedtime, is the way to interrupt this cycle. Make a list of the emotions connected to your sleep struggles and give yourself 10 to 15 minutes to tap on them. You do not have to solve anything in one session. You are chipping away, and each session reduces the emotional charge you bring to the bedroom. For more on this approach, see tapping for the emotions that prevent healing.
Do this step away from bedtime. All three of the first steps in this process are daytime practices, specifically so you are not activating emotional charge right before you try to sleep.
Step 2: Ask What Goes Wrong If You Do Sleep Well This step sounds strange at first, but it addresses one of the most overlooked causes of chronic sleep problems. The question to sit with is: what is the hidden downside of sleeping well?
Before you dismiss this, consider how subconscious logic actually works. Imagine this chain of thought playing out below conscious awareness: if I sleep well, I will be sharper at work. If I am sharper, I will perform better. If I perform better, they will expect more from me. More expectations mean more pressure. And pressure feels unsafe.
Key insight: "To your conscious mind, that feels like an absolutely silly chain of thought. But on a subconscious level, 100%, that is what can be going on."
This is what practitioners sometimes call secondary gain. Part of your nervous system is keeping you from sleeping because sleep feels, in some indirect way, dangerous or costly. Once your subconscious has decided that sleeping well creates a problem, it will work to prevent sleep, no matter how much your conscious mind wants rest.
Tap on whatever comes up when you ask this question honestly. It might be about work demands. It might be about what happens in your body or your relationships when you have energy. It might be about a fear of what you will actually do with your life when you feel good. This kind of hidden resistance is worth exploring in depth. The episode Pod #562: What goes wrong if I am successful? – Finding Root Causes (Part 4) covers exactly this kind of subconscious obstacle in detail.
Again, do this step during the day.
Step 3: Tap on the Real Consequences of Poor Sleep The third step asks a different question: what goes wrong when you do not sleep well? You already know the answer. You live it. But naming the consequences explicitly and tapping on them adds another layer of relief.
This step is not about catastrophizing. It is about acknowledging the full weight of what poor sleep costs you, including your mood, your relationships, your work, your health, and your sense of self. When those consequences are sitting in your body as unprocessed emotion, they become part of the cloud of anxiety that makes it harder to fall asleep in the first place.
Tapping on the consequences creates a kind of emotional spaciousness around the issue. You are saying: I see what this is costing me, and I am not going to let that awareness add to the problem. You are processing, not suppressing.
Like Steps 1 and 2, this belongs in your daytime tapping practice, not your bedtime routine.
Step 4: Wordless Tapping in the 90 Minutes Before Bed Wordless tapping is the only tapping I recommend doing close to bedtime. It is the one exception to the daytime rule, and the reason comes down to how tapping interacts with emotional intensity.
When you tap on a specific issue, particularly a charged one, the emotional intensity often rises before it resolves. That is a normal and healthy part of the process. But rising emotional intensity right before you try to sleep is counterproductive. You want your nervous system moving toward calm, not activation.
Wordless tapping, also called content-free tapping, means moving through the standard acupressure tapping points without focusing on any issue, and without saying any words or phrases. You are not trying to solve anything. You are simply giving your nervous system a gentle, repetitive input that helps it process stress chemistry out of the body.
Key insight: "When we tap, we process cortisol, we process adrenaline out of the body."
Here is the specific practice I use. Starting 90 minutes before my target bedtime, I set a silent vibrating timer to go off every 15 minutes. When it vibrates, I do 90 seconds of wordless tapping, moving from point to point. That is roughly five or six complete rounds. Then I go back to whatever I was doing until the timer goes off again.
By the time I get into bed, my system has had four gentle rounds of cortisol-clearing work over the course of 90 minutes. I am not wired. I have not stirred up anything emotional. I have just been quietly helping my nervous system downshift.
For a much deeper look at how and why wordless tapping works, including eight specific contexts where it is especially useful, see Pod #622: Eight ways to use content-free tapping.
Why Tapping for Sleep Is Not All-or-Nothing One of the most important mindset shifts in tapping for sleep is letting go of the idea that you need to go from broken to perfect overnight. Sleep improvement works on a spectrum, and every step along that spectrum matters.
I know the difference between four hours of sleep and six hours of sleep in my body. I know the difference between restless sleep and genuinely res
Tapping for focus – How I tap all day long
2026/07/31
Tapping is a powerful tool for grounding ourselves and to help us to refocus. The problem is, that grounding and focus only lasts so long.
Before I start on something challenging, a few minutes of wordless tapping ensures I bring my best to the task. But if the task is difficult or it isn't going as planned, frustration makes itself known.
Usually it starts as a slow simmer in the background that then grows to the point where it's difficult to focus and function well.
It makes sense to tap when this happens, but usually we don't reach for tapping until our focus is completely lost.
It doesn't have to be this way! There is a simple process I use to keep from getting to this place. Instead, it is an easy way to sprinkle tapping in throughout the day to prevent frustration from getting the better of you. The tapping reminder is automatic.
This week in the podcast, I share with you the exact way I tap when doing tasks that are mentally and emotionally testing to ensure I can do my best work.
Listen to learn this process and implement it right away, tailored to your own particular working style.
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Tapping When You Feel Off But Don't Know Why: A 4 Step Process
2026/07/27
Some days you just feel off. Not sad about anything specific, not anxious about anything specific, just heavy, distracted, or grumpy for no reason you can name. If you have ever wondered whether tapping when you feel off actually works when you cannot pinpoint a cause, the answer is yes, and there is a specific order that makes it work well.
TL;DR / Key Takeaways Tapping when you feel off does not require knowing the root cause of the feeling before you start. A four step sequence, wordless tapping, witness tapping, tapping on not knowing why, and tapping on not needing to know why to heal, addresses the emotion directly. Wordless tapping, also called content free tapping, changes your body's biochemistry through the tapping points without naming an issue. Witness tapping works because fully articulated emotions are short lived, meaning simply describing what you feel out loud often reduces its intensity. Three rounds of tapping (three to five taps per point) takes about 45 seconds, making this practical to use anywhere.
Why Do I Feel Off Without Knowing Why? Feeling emotionally off without a clear trigger happens because emotions are stored in the body as biochemistry, not just as conscious thoughts you can trace back to a cause. In my 17 years of working with clients and my own daily tapping practice, this is one of the most common situations people bring to me. It shows up as heaviness, distraction, low mood, or a general sense that everything feels harder than it should. This is closely related to tapping for vague emotions you cannot clearly identify, where the challenge is not the tapping itself but naming what you are actually feeling.
The instinct in these moments is to stop and figure out why before doing anything about it. That instinct is understandable, but it is also the thing that keeps people stuck longest. You do not need to diagnose the cause before you can start changing how you feel.
This is exactly the situation the four step process below is built for. It works whether you eventually understand the reason behind the emotion or you never do.
What Is Wordless Tapping (Content Free Tapping)? Wordless tapping is a technique where you tap through the acupressure points without speaking, without naming an issue, and without trying to identify a root cause. The technical term for this is content free intervention.
Key insight: "By stimulating these tapping points on our body, we're actually able to start changing our biochemistry. That emotion you're feeling, that heaviness, that overwhelm, is the biochemistry of that emotion."
Because the emotion itself is biochemical, you do not need words or insight to begin shifting it. You are working directly with the physical layer of the feeling, moving from tapping point to tapping point while whatever is going on continues to run in the background.
This matters for anyone new to tapping for anxiety, low mood, or unexplained heaviness, because it removes the barrier of needing the right words or the right insight before you are allowed to start. If you want more ways to use content free tapping beyond this single situation, there are several other applications worth exploring.
Step 1: Start With Wordless Tapping to Shift Your Biochemistry The first step in this process is to tap through the points silently for three to five rounds without naming what you are feeling. This changes your biochemical state before you attempt anything else.
A simple way to do this is to set a timer, or to commit to three rounds of tapping, using three to five taps on each point as you move from point to point. Three rounds takes about 45 seconds. Four rounds takes about a minute. There is no issue to identify and no phrase to repeat, which makes this the easiest entry point into a tapping session when you feel off. This same principle shows up in releasing a hidden tapping agenda, where letting go of the need to control the outcome of a session tends to produce better results.
Starting here also lowers the pressure of the moment. You are not required to understand anything yet. You are simply giving your nervous system a chance to settle before you move into naming what is happening, which is the focus of step two.
Step 2: Use Witness Tapping to Name What You're Feeling Witness tapping means describing exactly what you are experiencing in the moment, without analysis or judgment, the same way an eyewitness describes only what they directly observed.
Key insight: "Fully articulated emotions are short lived. Our emotions are just trying to get our attention, and oftentimes simply giving them voice is enough to start tuning them down."
In practice, this sounds like tapping while saying something as simple as, I feel really grumpy, and it is heavy in my body, and I do not know why I feel grumpy. You are not explaining the emotion or justifying it. You are only witnessing it, the way a witness in court reports what they saw without interpreting it. It is worth knowing that most of us are a fairly unreliable witness to our own experience, which is exactly why simply reporting the feeling, rather than analyzing it, works better than trying to get the story perfectly right.
This step often does two things at once. First, naming the feeling out loud tends to reduce its intensity almost immediately. Second, new information sometimes surfaces on its own, such as realizing a canceled plan was actually weighing on you more than you had noticed. That insight is a welcome bonus, not a requirement for the process to work.
Step 3: Tap on the Fact That It's Okay Not to Know Why The third step is to tap directly on the discomfort of not having an explanation, acknowledging that it is okay not to know why you feel this way.
This step targets a specific emotion that hides underneath the original feeling, which is the frustration or disappointment of not having a root cause. Something like, even though I do not know why I feel this way, I give myself permission to simply acknowledge it, addresses that layer directly.
Tapping on this usually produces relief almost immediately, because you are no longer fighting the fact that you cannot explain your own emotional state. And as with step two, sometimes tapping on the frustration of not knowing clears space for new insight to surface, though it is not guaranteed and is not the point.
Step 4: Tap on Not Needing to Know Why in Order to Heal The fourth step is to tap on the idea that you do not need to know why you feel this way in order to heal from it or move through it.
Key insight: "It is possible for me to heal, to transform, to release all of this without having to know why I am this way."
This step is subtly different from step three. Step three addresses the desire for knowledge and understanding. Step four addresses the fear that not having that knowledge will block your healing. Separating these two ideas rather than tapping on them as one statement creates more clarity, because you are releasing two distinct beliefs rather than one blended one.
In my own practice, I find this is the step that gives people the most permission to stop searching for an explanation and simply let the tapping work. You can always revisit the reason later if it becomes relevant. It does not need to arrive on any particular schedule.
Do You Need to Find the Root Cause for Tapping When You Feel Off? No, you do not need to identify a root cause before tapping when you feel off can help you feel better. The four step process above is designed to work with or without that information.
Sometimes tapping through these four steps will surface the underlying reason for a mood, like realizing a disappointment you had not consciously registered. Other times you will simply feel better without ever knowing exactly why you felt off in the first place. Both outcomes are considered a success with this approach.
This distinction matters because many people delay tapping until they feel they have figured themselves out first. Waiting for full understanding before taking action is one of the most common reasons people stay stuck in a low mood longer than necessary, a point explored further in why you don't need to know why you are the way you are.
How to Put the Four Steps Together in Your Own Practice The complete sequence is wordless tapping, witness tapping, tapping on it being okay not to know why, and tapping on not needing to know why in order to heal.
You can move through all four steps in a single sitting, typically in just a few minutes total. Start with three rounds of silent tapping, move into witnessing what you feel out loud, then tap on the two reframes in steps three and four. There is no requirement to rush toward insight at any point in the sequence.
If you are new to tapping altogether, a free guide with video and written instructions is available at LearnToTap.com. If you already have some tapping experience and want to go deeper with a related struggle, a ten part guide on using tapping to work through self sabotage is available at TappingQnA.com.
Frequently Asked Questions What is wordless tapping in EFT?
Wordless tapping, also called content free tapping, is tapping through the acupressure points without speaking or naming an issue. It works by shifting your body's biochemistry directly, which is useful when you feel off but cannot identify a specific cause.
Why does naming an emotion out loud make it feel less intense?
Fully articulated emotions tend to be short lived because emotions are signals meant to get your attention. Once you give a feeling clear voice through witness tapping, the signal has been received and often begins to settle on its own.
Do I have to know why I feel bad before tapping will work?
No. This four step process is built specifically for situations where you do not know the cause of your mood. You can tap on the feeling itself, and understanding may or may not arrive along the way.
How long doe
How to tap when you are too exhausted to focus on tapping (Pod #717)
2026/07/23
When I sit down to tap, the first question I ask myself is "What is the goal of this round of tapping?"
This serves as a powerful framing device by bringing focus to the tapping session and how to approach our issue. The essentials of tapping remain the same, but there is a big difference between tapping for a limiting belief, physical pain, or feeling overwhelmed in the moment.
This is a great approach except when you don't know exactly what you need to be tapping on.
Recently, I sat down to tap and I felt so mentally depleted that I couldn't focus enough to tap.
This week in the podcast, I share the five-step process I used at that moment. It helped me to find my focus and also helped me manage the rest of my day.
Even if you aren't so exhausted you can't focus, this process is a great way to start any tapping session. I know you are going to love it.
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How to tap when you don't know where to start
2026/06/19
One of the great things about tapping is that it can be used for a wide range of physical, emotional, and even spiritual issues.
But that breadth brings with it the struggle of knowing where to start when there are so many things that you could tap on.
Recently, I received this email from one of my readers:
I've been tapping on and off for years. Recently, when tapping, I am quickly lost in a quagmire of thoughts and emotions and can't see a direction to go in. I have been wallowing in something vague and exhausting for the past month, and am wondering if there is anything I can do.
This struggle is common because we aren't just feeling one thing at any given moment. We are thinking and feeling countless things about what is happening in our lives right now, struggles from our past, and worries about the future.
Without a clear entry point, our tapping feels unfocused. We worry that we're just wasting our time, which in turn makes us less likely to tap.
This week in the podcast, I share what I do when I am feeling so many things I don't know where to start. It is a simple approach that every tapper should know.
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