Advertise on podcast: Softening, for the Type A girls like me

Doesn't seem like anything is going your way?  Can't crack the code on why what you want so deeply isn't coming to fruition?  What if things aren't coming through because you're focused on the end result instead of the process?  What if you're exactly in the time, place, moment, and struggle you SHOULD be in to get to where your biggest desires really are?  Why can't we see all of this clearly?  Because - we're stuck in attachment.  Married to the way things "should be" if we're going to be 1. happy, 2. successful, 3. finally at peace. Hillary dives into attachment vs. certainty and how to start loosening your need for control and letting life truly move through you with ease. Follow along with more of Hillary's work on Instagram @kayloe.co and on Substack @kayloecreative Sign up to receive the Kayloe Quarterly Magazine

We all do it, we all need it, but how intentional and aware are you of your rest and where does your body, your mind, your spirit need more (or less). Tune in to hear Hillary diving into rest as it pertains to softening and returning to your core self and who you were specifically designed to be. Follow along with more of Hillary's work on Instagram @kayloe.co and on Substack @kayloecreative Sign up to receive the Kayloe Quarterly Magazine

We all know that community is important, but if you're anything like me you sometimes take it for granted.  This episode talks about a more specific lense of why community and the people that you choose to do life with are so important: the way that they teach and heal you as you live alongside them. You'll love this episode if you have ever felt lonely and you'll also find new perspective and appreciation if you're surrounded by amazing people all around.  I hope this spurs on a new awareness for the relationships waiting to happen all around you. Follow along with more of Hillary's work on Instagram @kayloe.co and on Substack @kayloecreative Sign up to receive the Kayloe Quarterly Magazine

"Advanced Energetics - what does that even mean?"  This is a question I found myself asking as I felt equally "pulled" and also confused by reading a title.  I knew I WANTED to understand advanced energetics and I also knew I could FEEL what it was...but my brain?  My brain couldn't articulate or put into words or form complete thoughts to make it "make sense".  I've been diving into books about energy, experimenting with my own and others' energy and also just witnessing and observing the way that energy moves in and through me.  Some days it makes complete, clear sense, other days I have NO IDEA WHAT IT IS.  But step by step, I'm learning soooo much about energetics and how everything is energy and how we can affect energy of ourselves and of the things around us and this episode is a little dip into sharing some of the (still pretty limited knowledge) that i've learned so far!  Enjoy. Follow along with more of Hillary's work on Instagram @kayloe.co and on Substack @kayloecreative Sign up to receive the Kayloe Quarterly Magazine

One definition of hypervigilance is "the heightened alertness when a person is constantly on the lookout and scanning for threats, often perceiving danger when none actually exists" Is the fear you are feeling real or imagined?  Old or new?  Keeping a tight reign on yourself, your schedule, your surroundings might not just be a part of your personality (like I thought) and there might be an invitation to dive into the deeper layers of how your truest self wants to be expressed. Enjoy! Follow along with more of Hillary's work on Instagram @kayloe.co and on Substack @kayloecreative Sign up to receive the Kayloe Quarterly Magazine

It's easy to want to know everything, especially if you're someone who identifies with being Type A, controlling, or people pleasing.  This episode uncovers reasons why knowing the answer to everything actually keeps you stuck in one way of being, and how opening to "I don't know" can serve as one simple gateway to growth and breakthrough. In this episode: In Awe Follow along with more of Hillary's work on Instagram @kayloe.co and on Substack @kayloecreative Sign up to receive the Kayloe Quarterly Magazine

"Sure I knew there was a different way of being, but staying in my rigidity, full of emotional armor and barriers of walls is what I chose because I didn't want to lose my 'edge'.  I didn't want to lose my personality or what truly made me, me." In today's episode Hillary shares the resistance she had to doing inner work and to even healing or feeling "better" because she was worried she would lose her edge or her upper hand on not only herself, but the others around her.  We all go about it in our own way, but Hillary presents a case for why softening into self doesn't take anything away, it actually does the opposite and makes you more YOU than you've ever been. Referenced in this episode:  No Bad Parts by Richard Schwartz My Wife's version of small talk reel (hehe) Follow along with more of Hillary's work on Instagram @kayloe.co and on Substack @kayloecreative Sign up to receive the Kayloe Quarterly Magazine

It's both encouraging and discouraging to learn from people saying "oh yes, I used to feel just like you" because you feel seen, but also why can't YOU just be where THEY are now? Hillary shares real time of a season she is leaving behind and a new one that she is actively stepping in to and the biggest takeaway?  It takes time.  The transformation, the healing, the re-wiring and slowing down and digging deep...it's all a process that is truly only cultivated by one daily step at a time.  To recieve the Kayloe Quarterly: sign up here Book reference: The Big Leap, by Gay Hendricks Follow along with more of Hillary's work on Instagram @kayloe.co and on Substack @kayloecreative Sign up to receive the Kayloe Quarterly Magazine

Instead of avoiding discomfort, what if you headed into it straight on?  This episode elaborates on the last, and dives deeper into some real examples of how Hillary has moved through the obstacle being the very way to transformation in her own life. The Obstacle is the Way, by Ryan Holiday Follow along with more of Hillary's work on Instagram @kayloe.co and on Substack @kayloecreative Sign up to receive the Kayloe Quarterly Magazine

Our society seems to worship protection / comfort / and mastering things with ease.  While ease and following what feels good (see episode "Do What Feels Good") absolutely have their place, this episode dives into what discomfort in our lives may be showing up. What feels sticky?  Impossible?  Like a mountain to climb in your way?  Beneath it may be the very thing that helps you expand into your next level of growth, freedom, and joy. Enjoy! Follow along with more of Hillary's work on Instagram @kayloe.co and on Substack @kayloecreative Sign up to receive the Kayloe Quarterly Magazine

A simple framework for taking your thoughts, feelings, projections, and self-limiting beliefs through to start making practical shifts and changes to how you live, what you create, and how your relationships evolve. "The Work" by Katie Byron can simple by distilled into 4 questions: 1. is it true? 2. is it absolutely true? 3. who am I (how do I feel) with that belief? 4. who would I be if I didn't have that belief? The turnaround: look at the opposites that your statement might have hidden within and ask each turnaround: is there a possible truth in that new statement? Listen in to the episode for more depth and examples on how The Work can play out in your life. Resources for The Work by Katie Byron: Website Booklist Follow along with more of Hillary's work on Instagram @kayloe.co and on Substack @kayloecreative Sign up to receive the Kayloe Quarterly Magazine

Reflections on turning 38 and sharing on what is on the horizon for the next year and what parts of healing and self-development are feeling the most alive and energetically charged presently. Follow along with more of Hillary's work on Instagram @kayloe.co and on Substack @kayloecreative Sign up to receive the Kayloe Quarterly Magazine

Believe it or not this was the first episode I EVER recorded of this podcast.  A true testament to the light side of the dark - the polarity of life.  I've been waiting for the right time to start it, and turns out this is it!  Enjoy this raw, honest, real-time processing of anger, frustration, and NOT following my somatic cues. Healing and dealing with "real life" is not glamorous - not one bit.  This episodes dives into a realtime processing of a BIG move through emotion and energy and processing the questions: 1. what was behind it? 2. what can I adjust for next time? 3. what does this teach me about softening? Follow along with more of Hillary's work on Instagram @kayloe.co and on Substack @kayloecreative Sign up to receive the Kayloe Quarterly Magazine

When you read the title how do you relate/what does it bring up?  Does it conjur negative feelings, or register as things that should be avoided?  Listen in on Hillary discussing how burnout, jealousy, and resentment went from triggers for despair, into supportive friends of hers that help her towards where she really wants to go. Quote about resentment at the end of the episode credited to Brooke B Schultz Follow along with more of Hillary's work on Instagram @kayloe.co and on Substack @kayloecreative Sign up to receive the Kayloe Quarterly Magazine

You may have heard that "the body keeps the score", but have you tried slowing down, tuning in, and listening to what that pain may be saying?  This week's episode is a bit more practical and heady, Hillary taking us through locations of the body and the themes that pain in that area could be pointing towards needing attention.  The chart referenced in this episode can be viewed here and here is the other chart that Hillary references at the very end of the episode so that you can start to explore on your own deeper: Issues in our Tissues Follow along with more of Hillary's work on Instagram @kayloe.co and on Substack @kayloecreative Sign up to receive the Kayloe Quarterly Magazine