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In this episode we talk about difficult it is to rewire the nervous system after experiences of trauma, and after go right into pretty quickly how to go about healing despite these difficulties. During the episode, you'll learn how the nervous system works like a meaning maker and prediction model in order to optimize reality. Unfortunately, after trauma, the prediction model is optimized towards the threats that are often no longer there. The goal then in rewiring the nervous system is to identify how the way your nervous system interprets reality is no longer serving you. Space is also made for those who have been putting in great amounts of effort to heal and yet find the process slow and sometimes discouraging. Many wonder "how long am I going to be stuck this way, no matter how hard I try I still find myself stuck". In this video Dr. Vincent and I both give our answer to those stuck in this kind of experience. Finally methods for healing and encouragements to take this into treatment with your provider are given at the end of the episode. If you've read this far, first thanks for the interest. I hand-wrote this myself so it's actually really appreciated. If you can go on to like, subscribe, and share this video with one person we'd highly appreciate as it helps get our content to spread out a bit more to more people. Anyways, hope you enjoy the epsiode and take care-- Dr. Jacob #nervoussystemhealing #traumahealing #healingjourney #psychologypodcast #psychology #therapy

Full episode is only available on patreon: ⁠https://www.patreon.com/c/2dudestalkintherapy⁠ In this episode, Dr. Vincent Barbieri and Dr. Jacob Ambrose describe the impact of being self-aware as it relates to mental health and interpersonal relationships. A theme that is reviewed repeatedly is how excessive self-awareness can disrupt trauma processing, as it allows individuals to intellectualize their concerns and appear vulnerable while avoiding vulnerability altogether. Additionally healing despite the avoidance is discussed in great detail in the full episode. Make sure to tune in!

🎙️ Watch the full episode and access exclusive bonus content on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/2dudestalkintherapy In this episode of Two Dudes Talkin’ Therapy, psychologists Dr. Jacob Ambrose (Dr. Jay) and Dr. Vincent Barbieri (Dr. V) explore the psychology of limerence, its connection to childhood emotional neglect and ADHD, and why we can become obsessed with people who are emotionally unavailable or unattainable. Why does limerence feel so addictive? Why can imagining a relationship sometimes feel more exciting than actually being in one? And why do people with ADHD sometimes experience such intense romantic fixation? Together, Dr. Jay and Dr. V discuss how unmet emotional needs, idealization, hyperfocus, and the anticipation of intimacy can contribute to limerence. Through relatable metaphors involving water in a desert, steak, and even a bag of Oreos, they explain why the fantasy of love can sometimes become more compelling than genuine connection. Most importantly, they explore how understanding these patterns can become the first step toward healing limerence and developing healthier, more fulfilling relationships. Chapters: 00:00 Intro: What Is Limerence? 03:22 Childhood Emotional Neglect & Limerence 04:26 The Water in the Desert Analogy07:23 ADHD and Limerence 08:46 Concept vs. Reality: The Steak Metaphor 10:33 Why Limerence Feels Safe 11:53 Don Draper: A Case Study in Limerence 13:21 What a Real Relationship Looks Like 14:58 The Oreo Prop: Dopamine & Anticipation 17:26 The Dark Side of Limerence 18:53 Parasocial Relationships as Limerence 21:14 Healing Begins About the Hosts Dr. Jacob Ambrose (Dr. Jay) and Dr. Vincent Barbieri (Dr. V) are psychologists and co-hosts of Two Dudes Talkin’ Therapy, a podcast exploring ADHD, trauma, attachment, relationships, and the psychology behind human behavior. DISCLAIMER: This podcast is intended for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional psychological or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. The discussion reflects clinical perspectives and psychological concepts; not all proposed connections between limerence, ADHD, and childhood trauma are established causal relationships. Please consult a qualified mental health professional for individualized guidance. #Limerence #ADHD #ChildhoodEmotionalNeglect #AttachmentStyles #Relationships #Psychology #TwoDudesTalkinTherapy

Why does rejection hurt so much when you have ADHD? And why can even the smallest signs of disapproval send you into a spiral of overthinking, shame, and self-doubt? In this episode of Two Dudes Talkin' Therapy, clinical psychologists Dr. Jacob Ambrose (Dr. Jay) and Dr. Vincent Barbieri (Dr. V) explore Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), the connection between ADHD and childhood rejection, and how to heal from years of feeling misunderstood. From emotional neglect and people-pleasing to anxious attachment, masking, and emotional dysregulation, we explore why people with ADHD may become especially sensitive to rejection — and why healing involves more than simply learning to tolerate criticism. We also introduce an important distinction: separating your ADHD wiring from the wounds you've developed along the way. Because healing isn't about changing who you are. It's about learning to accept your differences without carrying the shame that may have developed around them. CHAPTERS 00:00 Why Rejection Hurts So Much With ADHD 00:42 What Is Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD)? 01:30 Why ADHD Can Make Rejection Feel More Intense 04:07 How Childhood Rejection Leads to ADHD Masking 06:43 The Hidden Signs of Rejection You Might Be Missing 08:00 ADHD, Emotional Neglect & Childhood Shame 09:31 Why People With ADHD Feel Like Something Is Wrong With Them 11:16 Separating ADHD Wiring From Childhood Wounds 14:00 The ADHD Brain Explained: Train vs. Car 18:27 Why People With ADHD Struggle With Self-Acceptance 20:51 ADHD Masking, People-Pleasing & Fear of Rejection 25:53 How to Manage Emotional Dysregulation With ADHD 28:37 ADHD, Anxious Attachment & Relationship Anxiety 29:15 Avoidant Attachment, ADHD & Fear of Vulnerability 31:15 How ADHD and Anxious Attachment Connect to Limerence 33:49 Why Healing Rejection Sensitivity Starts With Self-Acceptance 35:48 How to Stop Rejecting Yourself and Start Healing CONNECT WITH US Watch more episodes and access exclusive content on Patreon 👉 https://www.patreon.com/2dudestalkintherapy Subscribe for more conversations about ADHD, complex trauma, attachment, emotional neglect, and healing. DISCLAIMER This podcast is intended for educational and informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional psychological or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) is a commonly used descriptive term and is not a standalone DSM-5-TR diagnosis. Always consult a qualified healthcare professional for individualized guidance. #ADHD #RejectionSensitiveDysphoria #RSD

Full Episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/2dudestalkintherapy Dr. Vincent Barbieri and Dr. Jacob Ambrose are licensed psychologists who explore trauma, attachment, relationships, ADHD, and emotional development on Two Dudes Talkin’ Therapy. In this episode, they break down childhood emotional neglect—one of the most invisible forms of childhood trauma—and explain how growing up without emotional attunement can shape your identity, relationships, and ability to trust your own emotions as an adult. Why do some people intellectualize everything they feel? Why can intimacy feel like something you have to earn? Why do some people lose themselves in relationships or feel drawn toward emotionally unavailable partners? Vincent and Jacob explore how these patterns can develop, why they often make sense in the context of childhood, and what healing can actually look like. Chapters: [00:50] Defining Emotional Neglect and Pain [04:35] How Emotional Neglect Shapes Your Sense of Self [08:00] Intellectualization: When You Learn to Live in Your Head [13:30] How Childhood Neglect Shows Up in Adult Relationships [19:00] How to Heal Childhood Emotional Neglect Childhood emotional neglect is often difficult to identify because it is defined less by what happened and more by what was missing. A child may have had food, shelter, education, and caregivers who appeared functional from the outside, while still growing up without the emotional attunement needed to feel understood, protected, and free to experience their natural emotions. Vincent and Jacob discuss how children develop a sense of self in relationship to other people. Through processes such as affect mirroring, caregivers help children understand what they are feeling and teach them that their emotional experience makes sense. When that reflection is absent, inconsistent, or met with emotional distance, a child may begin to suppress their natural reactions in order to preserve connection. Over time, this can affect the development of identity. Rather than learning, “This is what I feel, this is what I need, and my internal experience makes sense,” the child may learn to look outside themselves for cues about who they should be. Their natural emotions and impulses can begin to feel unsafe, excessive, inconvenient, or wrong. For many people, one adaptation is intellectualization. Instead of fully experiencing emotions, they analyze them. They may become highly self-aware, reflective, articulate, or skilled at understanding other people, while remaining disconnected from their own needs and emotional impulses. Thinking becomes safer than feeling. These patterns can become especially noticeable in adult relationships. Watch the full episode to learn more about healing emotional neglect. DISCLAIMER: The content in this podcast and video is provided for educational purposes only and is not intended to diagnose, treat, or replace professional mental health or medical care. If you are experiencing significant psychological distress or are seeking treatment for trauma or other mental health concerns, consider speaking with a qualified healthcare professional.

Full Episode on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/2dudestalkintherapy Why can guilt feel so intense after complex trauma—even when you logically know you haven’t done anything wrong? In this episode, psychologists Dr. Jacob Ambrose and Dr. Vincent Barbieri explore the connection between complex trauma (CPTSD), guilt, and shame, and explain why these emotions can become deeply ingrained after years of emotional neglect, criticism, abuse, or unpredictable relationships. We explore why people with complex trauma can feel responsible for other people’s emotions, why forgiveness and reassurance can sometimes feel threatening, and how trying desperately not to become a “burden” can lead to emotional suppression, overwhelm, and even greater guilt. We also discuss how these patterns can increase vulnerability to manipulation and shape the kinds of relationships that feel familiar or “safe.” Finally, we explore how to begin changing your relationship with guilt, separating genuine responsibility from trauma-based shame, validating your emotional experience, and building hope that the patterns you learned to survive do not have to define the rest of your life. If you’ve ever felt guilty for having needs, struggled to believe reassurance from other people, or felt like your emotions make you an inconvenience, this episode is for you. Chapters: 00:09 Complex Trauma and Guilt 02:13 Changing Your Relationship to Guilt 06:58 Ted Lasso and Forgiveness 10:33 The Threat of Forgiveness 14:02 Overwhelmed by Coping Mechanisms 15:42 Susceptibility to Manipulation 22:50 A Roadmap Out 28:57 Emotional Neglect 36:49 How To Build Hope

Subscribe to our patreon for more exclusive content-- Patreon Subscription Link: https://www.patreon.com/c/2dudestalkintherapy Dr. Jacob Ambrose and Dr. Vincent Barbieri are psychologists who specialize in helping people better understand themselves, their relationships, and the patterns that shape how they see themselves. In this episode, they break down what self-worth actually is, why childhood experiences, shame, and unhealthy relationships can make you question your value, and the practical steps you can take to build a healthier sense of self-worth. They explore why tying your worth to achievements or other people creates instability, how low self-worth can keep you stuck in relationships that reinforce old wounds, and why developing boundaries, self-empathy, and trust in your own reality are essential parts of healing. They also explain why growth can initially feel uncomfortable—and why learning to tolerate doubt while changing old patterns may actually be a sign that your sense of self-worth is becoming stronger. #selfworth #selfesteem #relationships #relationshipadvice #psychology #mentalhealth #healing #shame #boundaries #selflove #attachment #childhoodtrauma #peoplepleasing #emotionalhealing #therapy #personalgrowth #selfrespect

Many people find that they are either too distant or too desperate during the dating process. These patterns often have deeper roots in attachment, nervous system responses, past relationship experiences, and for some, neurodivergence. ADHD and other forms of neurodivergence can intensify experiences like rejection sensitivity, hyperfocus, impulsivity, emotional intensity, and difficulty regulating uncertainty in relationships. Combined with anxious or avoidant attachment patterns, dating can quickly become a cycle of chasing, withdrawing, overthinking, or feeling overwhelmed by connection. Watch this episode to learn more about the underlying reasons these patterns occur, how attachment and neurodivergence can shape the dating process, and how to begin navigating relationships in a healthier and more secure way. #DatingAdvice #AttachmentStyles #AnxiousAttachment #AvoidantAttachment #SecureAttachment #ADHDRelationships #ADHDInAdults #Neurodivergent #Neurodivergence #DatingWithADHD #RejectionSensitivity #RelationshipPsychology #AttachmentTheory #DatingPsychology #HealthyRelationships #EmotionalRegulation #RelationshipAdvice

Full Episode Only On Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/2dudestalkintherapy What if your experiences of rejection sensitivity, attachment insecurity in relationships, limerence, burnout, imposter syndrome, and extreme executive dysfunction were never fully because of your ADHD, but were more so the result of countless moments of rejection and wounding from a society that never understood you? This episode covers the impact of being a woman with ADHD in a neurotypical world that is often at odds with your own neurochemistry. While ADHD is already penalized in a society that is increasingly corporate, boxed-in, and productivity-focused, being a woman with ADHD creates a unique intersectionality that can leave you up against an even more punishing environment—one where the oxygen you breathe is the air of criticism. In this episode, Dr. Jacob Ambrose and Dr. Vincent Barbieri cover the impact of being a woman with ADHD in a neurotypical society that often punishes women with ADHD for their greatest gifts. Mental health risk factors are covered, along with the impact of being a woman with ADHD at work, in friendships, and finally, in the arena of dating. Share your thoughts, and make sure to catch the full episode on Patreon. #WomenWithADHD #ADHDInWomen #AdultADHD #LateDiagnosedADHD #ADHDWomen #NeurodivergentWomen #ADHDMasking #RejectionSensitivity #ExecutiveDysfunction #ADHDBurnout #ImposterSyndrome #Limerence #AttachmentInsecurity #ADHDRelationships #ADHDAwareness #Neurodiversity #MentalHealthPodcast #WomenAndADHD #ADHDHealing #TraumaInformed

Join our Patreon: patreon.com/2dudestalkintherapyTune in to discover the path toward secure attachment.In conversations about attachment, there is often a great deal of focus on what anxious, avoidant, and fearful-avoidant attachment look like. Yet the most overlooked attachment style is often secure attachment.When we do not talk enough about secure attachment, people may never get the opportunity to see what relational health actually looks like when it is modeled in real life.In this episode, Dr. Jacob Ambrose and Dr. Vincent Barbieri explore secure attachment in depth, combining theoretical concepts with practical, accessible examples. They also discuss ways you can begin practicing more secure patterns in your own relationships.Watch the full episode to gain insight into your attachment patterns and discover educational tools that may help you move toward greater security.Click the link in our bio to watch the full episode and subscribe to our Patreon for more educational content on attachment, relationships, trauma, and neurodivergence.#SecureAttachment #AttachmentStyles #AttachmentTheory #AnxiousAttachment #AvoidantAttachment #FearfulAvoidant #DisorganizedAttachment #HealthyRelationships #RelationshipHealing #EmotionalSafety #TraumaHealing #MentalHealthEducation #PsychologyPodcast #RelationshipAdvice #TwoDudesTalkinTherapy

In this episode, Dr. Jacob and Dr. Vinny take a deep dive into fearful-avoidant attachment, a pattern often discussed in relation to disorganized attachment. Full episode on patreon: https://www.patreon.com/2dudestalkintherapy They explore the foundations of attachment research, including Mary Ainsworth’s Strange Situation Procedure and the later introduction of the disorganized attachment classification by Mary Main and Judith Solomon. The conversation also examines how fearful and disorganized attachment patterns may overlap with—or sometimes be mistaken for—experiences associated with borderline personality disorder, ADHD, autism, and complex trauma. These connections are discussed carefully, without treating attachment styles as diagnoses or assuming that everyone with one of these conditions will have the same attachment pattern. Finally, Dr. Jacob and Dr. Vinny explore possible paths toward healing, including: Developing greater emotional awareness Building safer and more consistent relationships Working through approach–avoidance patterns Gradually learning that intimacy can feel both close and safe Share your thoughts in the comments, and watch the full episode by subscribing to our Patreon through the link in our bio. #FearfulAvoidantAttachment #DisorganizedAttachment #AttachmentStyles #AttachmentTheory #ComplexTrauma #CPTSD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #ADHD #Autism #Relationships

***Full Episode on Patreon*** In this episode, Dr. Jacob Ambrose and Dr. Vincent Barbieri discuss the relationship between trauma and dissociation, including the many ways traumatic experiences can lead to dissociation as a coping strategy. Dissociation can show up mentally, emotionally, physically, and behaviorally. It may involve feeling disconnected from yourself, your emotions, your memories, your surroundings, or even other people. While dissociation can eventually become disruptive, it is also important to understand why it developed in the first place. For many people who have experienced trauma, dissociation was once a necessary way of psychologically escaping a reality that did not feel safe or manageable. We explore how dissociation develops, what dissociation can feel like, and the different ways trauma can affect memory, emotions, identity, relationships, and everyday functioning. We also discuss complex trauma and CPTSD, including what happens when trauma is chronic rather than isolated, and how healing may require more than simply trying to eliminate symptoms. Finally, we explore the intersection between trauma and neurodivergence, including how ADHD and autism may interact with traumatic experiences, emotional regulation, overwhelm, and dissociation. Topics discussed include:• Trauma and dissociation• Signs and symptoms of dissociation• Dissociation as a trauma response• Complex PTSD (CPTSD)• Emotional numbness and feeling disconnected• Depersonalization and derealization• Trauma and memory• Childhood trauma• Chronic trauma and the nervous system• ADHD and trauma• ADHD and dissociation• Autism and trauma• Neurodivergence and CPTSD• Emotional regulation• Healing trauma and dissociation This content is provided for educational purposes and is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment, diagnosis, or medical advice. #Trauma #Dissociation #CPTSD #ComplexPTSD #ChildhoodTrauma #TraumaHealing #MentalHealth #ADHD #Autism #Neurodivergent #Depersonalization #Derealization #PTSD #Psychology #Therapy

For those living with CPTSD (complex post-traumatic stress disorder), you know what it is like to experience reality in a way that others often do not understand. It can feel like an upside-down experience shaped by an upside-down childhood—one in which you had to continually reorient yourself to navigate a painful, unpredictable, or unsafe emotional landscape. In this episode, Dr. Jacob Ambrose and Dr. Vincent Barbieri discuss how chronic and complex traumatic experiences can lead to the development of protective nervous system responses. The nervous system learns to anticipate danger, detect potential threats, and brace for the emotional “tripwires” associated with past trauma. Although these responses may have been necessary for survival, the anticipation of past trauma can later interfere with a person’s ability to feel safe in healthy environments. Hope can feel terrifying. Emotional numbness can feel safer than vulnerability. Relationships can feel uncomfortable or threatening because allowing another person to hold emotional power may seem ineffective, dangerous, or unreasonable when safety was repeatedly withheld during childhood. Throughout the episode, Dr. Ambrose and Dr. Barbieri explore strategies for understanding and navigating these experiences through thoughtful discussion, relatable analogies, and validation of the core pain points associated with CPTSD. We would love to hear your thoughts and have you become part of our growing community. Make sure to like the episode, subscribe to the channel, leave a comment, and join our Patreon for additional conversations and resources. This content is intended for educational and informational purposes only. It is not a substitute for individualized mental health care, diagnosis, or treatment. #CPTSD #ComplexPTSD #ComplexTrauma #ChildhoodTrauma #TraumaHealing #NervousSystemRegulation #MentalHealth #EmotionalHealing #TraumaRecovery #AttachmentTrauma #InnerChildHealing #PsychologyPodcast #TherapyPodcast #HealingJourney #EmotionalNeglect CPTSD, complex PTSD, complex post-traumatic stress disorder, complex trauma, CPTSD symptoms, CPTSD healing, childhood trauma, childhood emotional neglect, trauma recovery, trauma healing, nervous system regulation, trauma response, hypervigilance, emotional numbness, fear of hope, attachment trauma, relationship trauma, childhood survival responses, healing the nervous system, how trauma affects relationships, why healthy relationships feel unsafe, feeling safer when numb, complex trauma podcast, psychology podcast, mental health podcast, Dr. Jacob Ambrose, Dr. Vincent Barbieri

Dr. Vincent Barbieri and Dr. Jacob Ambrose answer live questions from patreon subscribers during this episode. If you'd like to join the next live feed then make sure to subscribe to our patreon https://www.patreon.com/2dudestalkintherapy #therapy #podcast #psychology #adhd #nervoussystemregulation #neurodivergent #cptsd #traumainformed #selfhelp

On this episode. Dr. Jacob and Dr. Vincent Barbieri talk about the differences and overlap between ADHD and Complex Trauma. They begin by describing how CPTSD is a more outcome focused kind of diagnosis whereas ADHD is more centered on mechanical like differences. They then cover midway what it feels like to have ADHD and Complex Trauma, validating the experience of both. Finally healing with these diagnoses are disucssed later on in the episode. #complextrauma #adhd #therapy #mentalhealth #podcast #psychology