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What happens when the voice you use against yourself sounds a lot like the parent who once hurt you? Stijn returns to the teenage version of himself he would rather leave behind. At first, all he can feel toward that boy is contempt. But as Dr. Pavini asks him to look again, something else begins to emerge: courage, grit, determination, and a young goalkeeper who was competing at a remarkable level while receiving zero recognition at home. A forgotten piece of Stijn’s story comes back into view, including the father who dismissed him, the parents who never knew what he had achieved, and the harshness Stijn still directs toward himself decades later. Dr. Pavini challenges him to interrupt that legacy, not only for his son, but for himself. The conversation then widens to the relationship. Dr. Pavini names the pattern she sees between Kristien and Stijn: Kristien sacrifices, pursues, reassures, and tries to rescue. Stijn retreats, becomes emotionally unavailable, and uses alcohol as distance. Between them sits a third party that keeps much of their attention away from the vulnerability underneath. If they want something different, both will have to come back to their own side of the relationship and take responsibility for the work that belongs to them. What Begins to Surface The contempt we can inherit and turn against ourselvesRediscovering strength in the parts of ourselves we rejectedHow childhood invisibility can shape adult intimacyThe pursuer and withdrawer pattern taking shape between Kristien and StijnWhat happens when a third thing carries the vulnerability a couple avoids This podcast focuses on relationship dynamics and is not intended to provide addiction treatment. If you or someone you love is struggling from the impact of untreated substance abuse, please seek support from qualified professionals who specialize in addiction. If something major in your relationship needs to shift, Book a Free Clarity Call with Dr. Pavini at https://pavini.as.me/ to find out what's possible. On our call, we'll get clear on: What's actually happening right nowWhat you're longing for insteadWhether working together is the right fitOne or two things you can start doing differently right now You'll leave with clarity and a concrete next step. About the Host: Dr. Pavini Moray is a somatic coach and Relational Life Therapy practitioner with a PhD in Somatic Psychology. For more than 15 years, Pavini has worked with couples navigating relationship crisis, intimacy challenges, rupture, and repair. Their approach blends Relational Life Therapy, somatic work, and trauma-informed care to help couples understand the deeper patterns shaping how they connect, communicate, and love. https://www.pavinimoray.com/ Musical Attribution: Original podcast music composed by Luke Djordjevic Thanks for listening! Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a comment in the section below! Subscribe to the podcast If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can follow the podcast on Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcast app. Leave us an Apple Podcasts review Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you are enjoying the show, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts.

What happens when pulling away becomes the way you learned to stay safe? After Kristien names the possibility that she may not be able to stay in the relationship if alcohol remains such a powerful presence, Stijn is left confronting something he has not fully considered before: his own choices have an impact on whether the relationship survives. As Dr. Pavini turns the focus toward him, Stijn begins tracing a familiar pattern of withdrawal. Years ago, he retreated into a tiny boat cabin with bottles of wine and slowly stopped participating in life. Looking further back, he recognizes that leaving has been one of his oldest survival strategies, shaped by childhood abandonment and a father who offered criticism instead of connection. Then the conversation takes an unexpected turn toward Stijn’s teenage son. Suddenly, the work is no longer only about his relationship with Kristien. It becomes about what gets passed down, what can still be interrupted, and whether Stijn can offer his son something he never received himself. In one of the most tender moments of the season, Dr. Pavini asks what he would have wanted to hear from a loving father at 15. His answer is simple: “I love you would be nice.” What Begins to SurfaceHow withdrawal can become a lifelong survival strategyThe difference between physically staying and emotionally leavingWhat happens when shame and secrecy begin to loosenBreaking family patterns before they reach the next generationThe love a child needed, and the love a parent can still choose to give This podcast focuses on relationship dynamics and is not intended to provide addiction treatment. If you or someone you love is struggling from the impact of untreated substance abuse, please seek support from qualified professionals who specialize in addiction. If something major in your relationship needs to shift, Book a Free Clarity Call with Dr. Pavini at https://pavini.as.me/ to find out what's possible. On our call, we'll get clear on: What's actually happening right nowWhat you're longing for insteadWhether working together is the right fitOne or two things you can start doing differently right now You'll leave with clarity and a concrete next step. About the Host: Dr. Pavini Moray is a somatic coach and Relational Life Therapy practitioner with a PhD in Somatic Psychology. For more than 15 years, Pavini has worked with couples navigating relationship crisis, intimacy challenges, rupture, and repair. Their approach blends Relational Life Therapy, somatic work, and trauma-informed care to help couples understand the deeper patterns shaping how they connect, communicate, and love. https://www.pavinimoray.com/ Musical Attribution: Original podcast music composed by Luke Djordjevic Thanks for listening! Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a comment in the section below! Subscribe to the podcast If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can follow the podcast on Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcast app. Leave us an Apple Podcasts review Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you are enjoying the show, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts.

What happens when accepting the person you love starts requiring you to let go of too much of yourself? Kristien has spent years imagining a future where she and Stijn would eventually share a sober life. But as Dr. Pavini asks her to look more closely at that dream, a painful tension comes into focus: Kristien loves Stijn deeply, yet some of what she wants most from their relationship may never happen. When Kristien describes letting go of those hopes in the name of accepting him as he is, Dr. Pavini names something she has not fully seen in herself: self-abandonment. From there, the conversation turns toward the resentment that can grow when we stay attached to someone’s potential, the difference between a boundary and a threat, and the difficult question Kristien has been avoiding: can she imagine a life without Stijn as her partner? Stijn is also asked to examine his own pattern of taking responsibility for Kristien’s emotions. As they practice staying connected without trying to control, rescue, or fix each other, both begin confronting what it might mean to love without losing themselves. What Begins to Surface When acceptance quietly becomes self-abandonmentGrieving the future you imagined with someone you loveThe resentment that can grow from loving someone’s potentialThe difference between compassion and taking responsibility for your partner’s feelingsStaying emotionally connected without controlling, rescuing, or fixing This podcast focuses on relationship dynamics and is not intended to provide addiction treatment. If you or someone you love is struggling from the impact of untreated substance abuse, please seek support from qualified professionals who specialize in addiction. If something major in your relationship needs to shift, Book a Free Clarity Call with Dr. Pavini at https://pavini.as.me/ to find out what's possible. On our call, we'll get clear on: What's actually happening right nowWhat you're longing for insteadWhether working together is the right fitOne or two things you can start doing differently right now You'll leave with clarity and a concrete next step. About the Host: Dr. Pavini Moray is a somatic coach and Relational Life Therapy practitioner with a PhD in Somatic Psychology. For more than 15 years, Pavini has worked with couples navigating relationship crisis, intimacy challenges, rupture, and repair. Their approach blends Relational Life Therapy, somatic work, and trauma-informed care to help couples understand the deeper patterns shaping how they connect, communicate, and love. https://www.pavinimoray.com/ Musical Attribution: Original podcast music composed by Luke Djordjevic Thanks for listening! Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a comment in the section below! Subscribe to the podcast If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can follow the podcast on Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcast app. Leave us an Apple Podcasts review Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you are enjoying the show, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts.

What if the thing creating distance in your relationship is also protecting you from getting closer? As Kristien and Stijn return to the conversation about alcohol, Dr. Pavini begins asking a different question: what role is alcohol actually playing between them? For Stijn, drinking has become increasingly compulsive and mentally consuming. For Kristien, watching and worrying about it has become almost impossible to turn off. Then Kristien shares something that changes the shape of the conversation. When she and Stijn first fell in love, she was using marijuana almost every day. He drank, she smoked, and together they could spend hours talking, laughing, and feeling connected. Her eventual sobriety brought freedom, but it also changed something they once shared. As the session unfolds, the conversation moves beyond drinking itself into vulnerability, shame, caretaking, and what happens when one partner starts changing while the other is still finding their way. And in one tender exchange, Stijn is invited to consider something he rarely allows himself to see: the healing impact his love has had on Kristien. What Begins to Surface When a shared habit becomes part of how a couple bondsThe difference between caring for a partner and caretaking themWhat sobriety can change inside a relationshipHow shame can make it difficult to receive something good about yourselfThe loop between monitoring, hiding, and growing disconnection This podcast focuses on relationship dynamics and is not intended to provide addiction treatment. If you or someone you love is struggling from the impact of untreated substance abuse, please seek support from qualified professionals who specialize in addiction. If something major in your relationship needs to shift, Book a Free Clarity Call with Dr. Pavini at https://pavini.as.me/ to find out what's possible. On our call, we'll get clear on: What's actually happening right nowWhat you're longing for insteadWhether working together is the right fitOne or two things you can start doing differently right now You'll leave with clarity and a concrete next step. About the Host: Dr. Pavini Moray is a somatic coach and Relational Life Therapy practitioner with a PhD in Somatic Psychology. For more than 15 years, Pavini has worked with couples navigating relationship crisis, intimacy challenges, rupture, and repair. Their approach blends Relational Life Therapy, somatic work, and trauma-informed care to help couples understand the deeper patterns shaping how they connect, communicate, and love. https://www.pavinimoray.com/ Musical Attribution: Original podcast music composed by Luke Djordjevic Thanks for listening! Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a comment in the section below! Subscribe to the podcast If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can follow the podcast on Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcast app. Leave us an Apple Podcasts review Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you are enjoying the show, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts.

What happens when trust is broken, love returns, but the rupture itself never really gets repaired? After Kristien accidentally discovers a pile of wine bottles on Stijn's boat, she realizes an agreement between them has been broken. At first, she pushes away the shock. Then the pieces begin falling into place. The distance she had felt, the questions she had been asking herself, and the sense that something was wrong suddenly have an explanation. As Kristien and Stijn retrace what happened next, Dr. Pavini Moray begins looking closely at how they move through conflict. Kristien gives herself permission to consider leaving, only to quickly reassure Stijn that she is staying. Stijn acknowledges the shame he feels, while Pavini invites him to consider the difference between shame and healthy remorse. They reconnect. The love becomes tangible again. But underneath that reconnection is a harder question: did they actually repair the breach of trust, or did they simply find their way back to each other without fully addressing what happened? As old fears, caretaking patterns, and the pull toward intimacy begin surfacing, Dr. Pavini watches for what each of them may be protecting the other from, and what that protection could be costing their relationship. What Begins to Surface The difference between reconnecting and repairing broken trustWhat happens when shock gets pushed asideReassuring your partner before fully tending to your own hurtShame versus healthy remorse after breaking an agreementWhen love returns before the difficult conversation is finished This podcast focuses on relationship dynamics and is not intended to provide addiction treatment. If you or someone you love is struggling from the impact of untreated substance abuse, please seek support from qualified professionals who specialize in addiction. If something major in your relationship needs to shift, Book a Free Clarity Call with Dr. Pavini at https://pavini.as.me/ to find out what's possible. On our call, we'll get clear on: What's actually happening right nowWhat you're longing for insteadWhether working together is the right fitOne or two things you can start doing differently right now You'll leave with clarity and a concrete next step. About the Host: Dr. Pavini Moray is a somatic coach and Relational Life Therapy practitioner with a PhD in Somatic Psychology. For more than 15 years, Pavini has worked with couples navigating relationship crisis, intimacy challenges, rupture, and repair. Their approach blends Relational Life Therapy, somatic work, and trauma-informed care to help couples understand the deeper patterns shaping how they connect, communicate, and love. https://www.pavinimoray.com/ Musical Attribution: Original podcast music composed by Luke Djordjevic Thanks for listening! Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a comment in the section below! Subscribe to the podcast If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can follow the podcast on Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcast app. Leave us an Apple Podcasts review Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you are enjoying the show, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts.

What happens when alcohol stops feeling like something outside the relationship and begins to feel like a third person inside it? At the beginning of Kristien and Stijn's journey, Dr. Pavini Moray starts by listening for what hurts, what each of them wants, and the patterns already shaping their connection. Kristien longs for more emotional and sexual intimacy without constantly monitoring Stijn's drinking. Stijn knows alcohol has become a problem, but he wants the space to understand it and make changes in his own way. As they begin tracing their family histories, the conflict starts to look less like a disagreement about drinking and more like two very different responses to something deeply familiar. Both grew up around alcohol, emotional disconnection, and things that went largely unspoken. When Kristien describes alcohol as “the mistress in the relationship,” a deeper question emerges: can they recognize what they inherited before those old patterns decide what happens next? What Begins to Surface When alcohol starts taking up space inside the relationshipThe difference between wanting change and wanting controlHow family history shapes what feels normal in loveWhy emotional connection becomes tied to physical intimacyWhat happens when naming a problem is not the same as drawing a boundary This podcast focuses on relationship dynamics and is not intended to provide addiction treatment. If you or someone you love is struggling from the impact of untreated substance abuse, please seek support from qualified professionals who specialize in addiction. If something major in your relationship needs to shift, Book a Free Clarity Call with Dr. Pavini at https://pavini.as.me/ to find out what's possible. On our call, we'll get clear on: What's actually happening right nowWhat you're longing for insteadWhether working together is the right fitOne or two things you can start doing differently right now You'll leave with clarity and a concrete next step. About the Host: Dr. Pavini Moray is a somatic coach and Relational Life Therapy practitioner with a PhD in Somatic Psychology. For more than 15 years, Pavini has worked with couples navigating relationship crisis, intimacy challenges, rupture, and repair. Their approach blends Relational Life Therapy, somatic work, and trauma-informed care to help couples understand the deeper patterns shaping how they connect, communicate, and love. https://www.pavinimoray.com/ Musical Attribution: Original podcast music composed by Luke Djordjevic Thanks for listening! Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a comment in the section below! Subscribe to the podcast If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can follow the podcast on Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcast app. Leave us an Apple Podcasts review Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you are enjoying the show, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts.

Welcome to Salty Sweet, a podcast that takes you inside the real therapy sessions of one couple navigating intimacy, trust, drinking, betrayal, and the patterns shaping their relationship. With Dr. Pavini Moray as their guide, you’ll hear what happens when the surface story gives way to what is really happening underneath, and what it takes to move toward greater honesty, connection, and intimacy. This podcast focuses on relationship dynamics and is not intended to provide addiction treatment. If you or someone you love is struggling from the impact of untreated substance abuse, please seek support from qualified professionals who specialize in addiction. If something major in your relationship needs to shift, Book a Free Clarity Call with Dr. Pavini at https://pavini.as.me/ to find out what's possible. On our call, we'll get clear on: What's actually happening right nowWhat you're longing for insteadWhether working together is the right fitOne or two things you can start doing differently right now You'll leave with clarity and a concrete next step. About the Host: Dr. Pavini Moray is a somatic coach and Relational Life Therapy practitioner with a PhD in Somatic Psychology. For more than 15 years, Pavini has worked with couples navigating relationship crisis, intimacy challenges, rupture, and repair. Their approach blends Relational Life Therapy, somatic work, and trauma-informed care to help couples understand the deeper patterns shaping how they connect, communicate, and love. https://www.pavinimoray.com/ Musical Attribution: Original podcast music composed by Luke Djordjevic Thanks for listening! Thanks so much for listening to our podcast! If you enjoyed this episode and think that others could benefit from listening, please share it using the social media buttons on this page. Do you have some feedback or questions about this episode? Leave a comment in the section below! Subscribe to the podcast If you would like to get automatic updates of new podcast episodes, you can follow the podcast on Apple Podcasts or your favorite podcast app. Leave us an Apple Podcasts review Ratings and reviews from our listeners are extremely valuable to us and greatly appreciated. They help our podcast rank higher on Apple Podcasts, which exposes our show to more awesome listeners like you. If you are enjoying the show, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts.