Advertise on podcast: Character Development: A Comedy Podcast Where Actors Perform My Cringiest Old Stories

The Waiting Room: a true-ish horror story I wrote in 2011, right after a night in the ER with my sister. She'd been throwing up for 15 hours, my mom drove two miles an hour under the speed limit to get her there, and I took notes on everyone in the waiting room. Then I went home, wrote it all down, and sent it to my sister. (I probably shouldn't have.) Actor, advocate and writer on Netflix's Big Mouth, Brandon Kyle Goodman joins me to read every muscularly thick, flabby-armed line of it. Plus: what a hospital actually smells like, Brandon's ER nightmare on the set of Modern Love, our porn star names, why the Scrubs finale is sacred, and how my mom made me a writer. Character Development is a comedy podcast where actors perform the stories I wrote years ago (mostly as a teenager), and we roast every word. New episodes every Tuesday Follow me @VinceInFiction on TikTok & Instagram 0:00 Welcome Brandon Kyle Goodman 2:00 The worst script Brandon ever read 4:00 Brandon vs. horror movies 6:00 The story begins 7:00 What does a hospital smell like? 10:00 Brandon's ER nightmare on Modern Love 13:00 The waiting room 15:00 Scrubs, diabetes and Brandon's aunt 16:00 The Scrubs finale is sacred 18:00 Reboots: Scrubs vs. Will & Grace 22:00 Still on page one 24:00 Our porn star names 26:00 "I wasn't out as bi back then" 27:00 Muscularly thick 28:00 Back to the ER 30:00 Brandon's urgent care regulars 36:00 Every line of this really happened 39:00 "2011 Vincent, you're cooking" 45:00 The unnecessary hyphen 47:00 The "I Pooped Today" shirt 48:00 Screws, Peppy and Sir Enormous 50:00 Too many characters, not enough names 53:00 A traumatic childhood moment 55:00 Mommy issues, the episode 59:00 Patient number 727 1:02:00 Lost in the white hallways 1:04:00 The ending explained 1:05:00 Moving out of mom's house 1:09:00 How our families dealt with grief 1:11:00 You can't blame your parents 1:13:00 Writing as therapy 1:15:00 How my mom made me a writer 1:19:00 Brandon's book 1:20:00 Thanks for listening Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Tuddy Bear: a horror story I wrote at 20 for a college English class, about a man who sells his soul to the devil to save his dying wife and gets reincarnated as a stuffed teddy bear with a pull string. His mission: find the devil’s missing son somewhere in Hell-Knows-Where, Texas. His secret weapon: a mouth full of razor teeth where his stomach should be. Chris and I read all 18 pages, including every single time I wrote the name “Gus.” Plus: the possessed bath toy I threw out of my house, the demon door in my office, and the professor who told me fiction was a waste of time. Please rate and review on your favorite podcast app. It really helps! Follow Vince on all social medias @VinceInFiction 1:00 The floating eyeball 2:00 Reincarnation, the afterlife and the Tuddy Bear 4:00 Raised Catholic 6:00 The story begins 8:00 Terrifying cartoons from our childhood 12:00 The devil’s mission 16:00 Mephistopheles 21:00 Adolescent malformed samurai tortoises 24:00 The possessed bath toy 26:00 The demon door 28:00 Believer vs. skeptic 30:00 Why haunted places feel haunted 32:00 “If Gus had a pair of lungs to sigh with” 36:00 The school bus 40:00 The boy with hair down to his feet 47:00 Barbie’s Dreamhouse 51:00 Gus’s wife 56:00 The mouth in his stomach 1:02:00 Leave us a review, please 1:06:00 The deal with the devil 1:12:00 The girl with the green aura 1:16:00 The shapeshifter 1:21:00 The twist 1:26:00 Final verdict 1:29:00 The teacher who said fiction was a waste of time 1:30:00 Coming soon: the novel Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Silent Kingdom, the fantasy play I wrote in 6th grade, where the banished villain Orgoth announces his evil plan to anyone within earshot, everyone introduces themselves by name, and the twist ending made 11-year-old me very proud. Chris and I read my 6th grade play, complete with a banished villain named Orgoth who “loves revenge,” a king who hires a mercenary to stop him, and a twist ending 11-year-old me was very proud of. Plus: if the show’s big enough a year from now, we’re performing this live on stage. Character Development is a comedy podcast where voice actors and I roast my cringiest old stories. Please rate and review on your favorite podcast app. It really helps! Follow Vince on all social medias @VinceInFiction 0:00 The supervillain mustache 1:30 Silent Kingdom, written in 6th grade 4:00 Acting out the sound effects 5:30 Act 1: Orgoth is banished 8:00 Everyone announces their own name 9:30 Act 2: The king hires a mercenary 13:00 Mrs. Shanks's edits & the hammer prop 14:30 A Russian prince plots 16:30 Characters get names when they say them 18:30 Act 3: Orgoth punches the king 24:00 Sword fight sound effects (no fight) 25:00 Screaming after you've been chainsawed 27:30 Getting shot into the sun 30:00 Stab him in the back, not the stomach 32:00 The prince stabs the jester 34:30 Shadow announces who hired him 35:00 Act 4: The prince's betrayal 36:30 Act 5: The king's very long rest 38:30 The twist 40:00 Final verdict 43:00 The first live show? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A horror story about spam calls that won't stop, which I wrote at 29 and posted to r/NoSleep. It got 4,400 upvotes, but did it deserve them? After weeks of roasting my teenage writing, it's the real test: did I ever get good? Chris and I read it start to finish and find out. Please rate and review on your favorite podcast app. It really helps! Follow Vince on all social medias @VinceInFiction 0:00 Welcome back 2:53 Recording sick 4:54 The extended warranty calls 6:42 What is r/NoSleep? 7:54 The story begins 18:27 Chris got hit by a car 24:02 Don't press 1 25:56 The quick brown fox 32:43 The 911 call 35:38 British 911 operators 39:41 The voicemail 47:06 Baltimore police at the door 53:51 Why I write about losing kids 1:01:31 The call center 1:06:50 The ending 1:07:51 Final verdict 1:16:06 Outro Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Curse of Bloody Mary: the urban legend slasher I wrote as a teenager, which spends more time on paint colors, floor plans and one very important sofa than on scaring anyone. The actual scare shows up on page eight. Chris and I read every cream-colored detail. Say her name three times if you dare. Character Development is a comedy podcast where voice actors and I roast my cringiest old stories. If this show made you laugh, consider watching more or supporting us at https://Patreon.com/VinceDajani 0:00 Bugs under the skin 1:23 Maggot medicine (sorry) 3:43 Who was Bloody Mary? 6:29 The psychiatrist's office 11:12 Chekhov's sofa 13:20 The anxious pen 17:14 Sleep paralysis theories 19:27 Meet Cameron 24:09 The full floor plan tour 34:02 Generic dance party music 42:41 The ghost story 50:58 Saying it three times 55:04 The storm hits 59:28 The mirror scene 1:13:38 Tier list and wrap-up 1:15:52 Ask your mom for more Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The unaired first draft of my murder-mystery podcast How i Died, starring a 70-year-old Russian mortician who talks to ghosts, solves murders and, it turns out, murdered his wife. Voice actor Sarah Golding joins me to perform the original pilot, Russian accent and all, and we find out how much changed before the real show got made. 0:00 Welcome Sarah Golding 4:11 How to do a Russian accent 5:46 Cold open: the morgue standoff 9:55 Meet Victor Spader 16:34 The viewing (and 20 kids?) 26:12 The ghost who was murdered 30:42 Act 2: Victor refuses to help 38:19 Enter Coroner Crowley 46:26 The secret in Victor's apartment 55:39 Victor's wild deductions 58:54 "I killed my wife" 1:01:08 Breaking down the twist 1:07:43 Sarah's own horror writing 1:12:27 Where to find Sarah If you think this is funny and you want more, head to https://Patreon.com/VinceDajani Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

My teenage sci-fi horror story has three pages of lore, space elves who crouch-walk everywhere, and giants described in a deeply unfortunate way. Now I’m reading it out loud. Voice actor Chris Harris-Beechy joins me from inside my TV to roast “Nocturne,” a handwritten story from 2007 that was never meant to be seen again. Episodes released weekly. Bonus content at Patreon.com/VinceDajani Follow Vince on TikTok & Instagram @VinceInFiction 0:00 Welcome to Character Development 1:58 Meet Nocturn, written at 16 4:17 Three pages of lore 8:56 Space smurfs and the one woman 11:29 My handwriting looks like spiders 14:01 Chapter 1: Night watch 17:01 The double crouch 23:02 Don't put mystery metal in your ear 29:13 Chapter 2: Nobody talks 31:03 Ten feet of night vision 43:37 The mating grounds 46:38 What becoming a dad changed 52:30 Chapter 3: The giant 56:06 Edging the penis giant 1:01:58 Final verdict 1:05:36 What's coming next Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

At some point in their life, most writers have written really terrible stories. Vince Dajani has, for some reason, kept them all. Now he's going to force his very talented actor friends to read them. Every week on Character Development, a comedy podcast, Vince and a guest who has regrettably accepted, read through a sci-fi, horror or thriller piece of writing. There are teen slasher's where every character sounds edgy as hell. There's sci -fi giants that read just a little bit too much like giant penises. And there's a murderer who enjoys musical theater for some reason. With guests like Brandon Kyle Goodman, Guillermo Diaz, Katie Lowe's and Sarah Golding, there's sure to be laughs and plenty of cringing. Listen to Character Development: A Comedy Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen to podcasts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices