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Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Jon’s living out everyone’s 3 on 1 fantasy, and two of them are twins! This chapter definitely reveals the fic that could have been when Jon and “Rattleshirt” throwdown, and Comma has sage advice for AO3 writers looking for a new niche. We all feel like Jon’s getting the full seduction treatment from Mel, tailored to his northern tastes. And who is R'hllor allied with anyway? A Song of Ice and Fire. A Dance with Dragons - Jon VI. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 631

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We're not happy to be back in Tyrion's head, but does Jorah Mormont make us more sympathetic to him? Group Rate to Meereen: the book that could have been. Penny just makes everyone sad. Bonus—we figure out why we don't have Winds! A Song of Ice and Fire. A Dance with Dragons - Tyrion VII. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 630

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. We read GRRM's "best" love scene and we're unimpressed (except with Qarl). Are zee Glovers zee secret Frenchmen of Westeros? Are the Ironborn (Asha excluded) the Honey Boo Boos of Westeros? Is any character man enough for Hagen's Daughter? A Song of Ice and Fire. A Dance with Dragons - The Wayward Bride (Asha I). Originally recorded in 2018. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 629

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Are we bigger drunken dreamers than Daeron, because we sit down to discuss future Dunk & Egg novellas. As if! If Dunk's gonna hit it in all of Westeros, we hope there are at least some stops in Winterfell, Tarth and Casterly Rock. We hope to see some more potentially fun Targaryen ladies, but cannot believe in a version of these stories where our favorite duo lives? AKotSK. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms - Dunk & Egg - predictions for future novellas. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 628

Spoilers, profanity. Welcome to the sloppiest conspiracy in history. Glendon's got game, while Dunk is just really huge. Never go to the second location, Dunk, even if it is with the world's laziest murderer. Bloodraven continues to bring the humor, but maybe give poor concussed Dunk a break? A Song of Ice and Fire. A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms - The Mystery Knight - Part III (re-reread). Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 627

Spoilers, profanity. Never turn down an open bar. But maybe don't put Two Hearts Beat as One on your wedding playlist. We find out why Dunk needed four pages in the White Book. While Daemon is trying for a Whitewalls version of Heated Rivalry, Bloodraven should be headed to the local comedy club. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms - The Mystery Knight - Part II (re-reread). Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 626

Spoilers, profanity. As we join Dunk & Egg on another adventure, it's clear that Guile picked a bad night to make stew and that Dunk is Daemon's Fabio. How does anyone forget that Egg is a Targaryen and seriously, these inflation complaints are always relatable. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms - The Mystery Knight - Part I (re-reread). Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 625

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Join us as we review Season 1 and discuss our hopes and dreams for Season 2. It's grading time. It's also gold medal time, with some three way ties, although it's almost impossible to choose a favorite between Dunk & Egg. We’re happy we got some Brienne this season, but is it possible to have too much? We talk about what’s in store for Dunk and Egg in Season 2. Will we get Egg flashbacks? How much Blackfyre Rebellion can we cram in here? Will Dunk become an Amazon delivery driver? Whatever happens, we're in this capitalist franchise for the long haul. AKotSK. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms - Season 1 Review. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 624

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Surprise, we’re all charmed by Lyonel's “come home with me” pillow talk, but we’re split on his anti-Targ agenda. Do Maekar and Dunk have a trauma bond? Bring on the additions if they’re like this Egg contemplating murdering Aerion scene—we’re leaning into it like Egg leaning into Maekar. Like Dunk, we’re all a little melancholy as we say goodbye to Ser Arlan, but at least Sweetfoot gets a happy ending in her apple orchard. AKotSK. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms - 1x06 - The Morrow. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 623

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Egg has to watch this age-inappropriate trial, but Guile would never have watched The Hunger Games. Humfrey Beesbury got a honey mustache instead of an introduction, but what a mustache it is. We all love Ser Duncan the Tall’s pre-teen backstory, but we don’t love the extra unexpected pain. Maekar continues to be a fav, but we all have to admit this battle wouldn’t have worked without Finn Bennett’s efforts as Aerion. Raymun stans unite as the green apple comes through battle unfazed, or should we say unbruised. Farewell Baelor Breakhearts, maybe we should spin you off into a Blackfyre Rebellion prequel? We’re happy with this episode as it is, but we also want the extended cut. AKotSK. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms - 1x05 - In the Name of the Mother. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 622

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Maekar is giving off major Gen X wine dad energy, and we’re here for it, but Baelor is the brother who has our hearts. If we ever stop complaining about the lighting, please call 911. We are split on the Game of Thrones theme’s heroic appearance, but we all agree that we wanted more Humfreys. At least we can assume that things will get happier and more upbeat next week, right? RIGHT? AKotS. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms - 1x04 - Seven. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 621

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Guile’s feeling the Black Stallion vibes as Egg takes Thunder through a pre-breakfast training montage. We’re just going to call this guy Ser Ryan Gosling if that’s ok with everyone else. Dunk teaches us how to make breakfast sandwiches Westerosi style and also how to do a whip stitch. House Fossoway really loves them apples, and as long as they’re green, so do we. Dunk’s stepping up with his first no chance and no choice moment, but we have to admit that Egg and Dexter Sol Ansell stole this episode. AKotS. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms - 1x03 - The Squire. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 620

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Is Ser Arlan packing a canon cannon? Maybe! Everyone hitting on Ser Duncan the Tall sure is. Maekar is the Jan to Baelor’s Marcia on this episode of the Targaryen Bunch. Dunk’s getting the feels with Tanselle and panic from the tourney, Egg’s somehow remaining anonymous despite being the only bald kid in town, and we’re just loving every last second of this ride so far. Except that we’ve apparently been pronouncing everybody’s name wrong. AKotS. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms - 1x02 - Hard Salt Beef. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 619

Spoilers, profanity, Jaime x Brienne. Ser Duncan the Tall and his mysterious hairless squire "Egg" start their adventures in episode 1 of the first season of HBO's latest foray into Westeros. We love the casting, we love the tone, and we love the little digs at Game of Thrones. Is there more book dialogue than original dialogue? Is Tanselle a puppeteer or is she more of special effects artist? Is Ser Lyonel Baratheon the Laughing Storm worth the UTI? More importantly, is half this episode just us talking about George's latest interview with the Hollywood Reporter? AKotS. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms - 1x01 - The Hedge Knight. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 618

Spoilers, profanity. Welcome to the house of Hopium, our words are: it's only six episodes! Are they trying to get into the Emmys comedy category with the half-hour episodes? If so, we approve. Clotho makes the mistake of reading Reddit complaints. Does George always fall out of love with his showrunners? AKotS. A Song of Ice and Fire. A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms - Season 1 Preview. Close The Door And Come Here - Episode 617