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Jackie's taking two weeks off waiting for demon seed #2, so Dr. Schimmel is in session and she is not holding back. Tune into some bitches getting burnt on how they should live their lives (there is only one person who can judge you in this lifetime, and it's Jackie) and ST. CLAIR F*****G CALLS IN. It's a Dr. Schimmel miracle. Part one of two, bc we're classy like that. Thanks for supporting my sponsors: Nutrafol: Use code BIBLE to get $15 off your first month's subscription and free shipping at www.Nutrafol.com Tonal: Use code BIBLE to get $200 off your Tonal purchase at www.Tonal.com This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp: Sign up and get 20% off at www.BetterHelp.com/BITCHBIBLE Boll & Branch: Use code bitchbible to get 25% plus free shipping and extended returns at www.BollAndBranch.com/bitchbible Quince: Get free shipping and 365-day returns at www.Quince.com/BITCHBIBLE See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

38 weeks and Jackie is on the home stretch. She’s tootling, she’s baking, she’s redecorating, and doing anything but sitting still. Bring on the epidural! Thanks for supporting this week's sponsor: Freestyle: Use code BIBLE to get 30% off your first 3 months of a Freestyle diaper subscription at www.Freestyle.world/BIBLE See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie is fresh from seeing the Elizabeth Holmes documentary, explains dark energy, and Clyde motorboats Heather McMahan. Thanks for supporting my sponsors: Freestyle: Use code BIBLE to get 30% off your first 3 months of a Freestyle diaper subscription at www.Freestyle.world/BIBLE OSEA: Use code JACKIE to get 10% off your first order at www.OSEAMalibu.com SKIMS: Shop my favorite loungewear and pajamas at www.skims.com/bible #skimspartner Revolve: Use code BITCH for 15% off your first order at www.Revolve.com/BITCH #REVOLVEpartner Little Spoon: Use code BIBLE for 30% off your first order at www.LittleSpoon.com/BIBLE See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Week 36 and shit's getting real. Jackie is working the Schimmel Swindle on Clyde, has plans to redecorate the hospital's birthing suite, and could be weeks or maybe hours from giving birth.  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie is experiencing PTSD flashbacks to last year’s backyard flood and discusses Selma Blair’s biting habit, flashes her hot gardener, and crafts the perfect awkward email. Thanks for supporting my sponsors: CBDistillery: Use code BITCHBIBLE for 25% off at www.CBDistillery.com Ladder: Get a free 7-day trial with no credit card, and $10 off your first month if you join at ladder.fit/BITCHBIBLE Lola Blankets: Experience the world’s #1 blanket with Lola Blankets. Use code BIBLE at checkout to get 40% off select products at www.Lolablankets.com Ritual: Save 25% on your first month and get a free gift with any starter set at www.Ritual.com/BIBLE Vinted: Download the Vinted app for free to start listing with no seller fees See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie returns from London bloated and bitchier than ever. She recaps Real Housewives drama, her trip abroad, a diagnosis of OCD and gives awful life advice.  Little Spoon: Use code BIBLE for 30% off your first order at www.LittleSpoon.com/BIBLE Nutrafol: Use code BIBLE to get $15 off your first month's subscription and free shipping at www.Nutrafol.com SKIMS: Shop SKIMS Cotton, and all of my favorite pieces at www.skims.com/bible Quince: Get free shipping and 365-day returns at www.Quince.com/BITCHBIBLE See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Week 33 and Jackie is looking in-credible; the jaw is sharp, she’s glowing, and dreaming of a scarf-clad, post-baby jaunt around Paris, but she’ll settle for a frozen lemonade and a Wetzel’s pretzel. Thanks for supporting this week’s sponsor: Article: Get $50 off your first purchase of $100 or more at www.Article.com/BIBLE See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie addresses some nonsense internet backlash, plans the perfect glam lewk, and questions Kelly Clarkson’s sanity. Thanks for supporting my sponsors: Tonal: Use code BIBLE to get $200 off your Tonal purchase at www.Tonal.com Jones Road Beauty: Use code BITCHBIBLE at www.JonesRoadBeauty.com to get a free gift with your first purchase! #JonesRoadBeauty #ad Nutrafol: Use code BIBLE to get $15 off your first month's subscription and free shipping at www.Nutrafol.com Revolve: Use code BITCH for 15% off your first order at www.Revolve.com/BITCH #REVOLVEpartner Little Spoon: Use code BIBLE for 30% off your first order at www.LittleSpoon.com/BIBLE See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

30 weeks and Jackie isn’t slowing down at all. She’s shopping for fresh trees, reveling in the attention from her purple bandage, and enjoying the holy trinity of See’s Candy: Dark Chocolate Scotchmallows, Dark Chocolate Bordeaux, and Dark Raspberry Creams. Thanks for supporting this week’s sponsor: Revolve: Use code BITCH for 15% off your first order at www.Revolve.com/BITCH #REVOLVEpartner See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie is ready for Off Brand October and is reminded of the enormous stupidity of the general population, stalks a man over patio cushions, and has not one but two public altercations. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

28 weeks and Jackie aces her gestational diabetes test, reveals that pregnant women online are the new Al-Qaeda, and gives an update on the level of her doomsday baby fund. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie sits down with Heather Dubrow to discuss how important she is to RHOC, why feeling like a local while traveling is overrated, and how much time is spent dreaming of murdering their husbands. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

24 Weeks and we're viable, baby! Whatever that means. Jackie is doing what she can to feel as luxurious as possible: elevated water, candles, and forever chemicals. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It’s Yom Kippur and Jackie reflects on life to find she’s perfect in every way, but she hates her family and the backyard renovation is dangerously close to getting her kicked out of the neighborhood. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Jackie celebrates Yom Kippur the day of atonement by deflecting her own wrongdoings. She discusses how the Fall solstice ruins lives, the groundbreaking news of Kylie Jenners cereal habits and why Bert an Ernie are due for a Brokeback Mountain sequel.  See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.