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Is he pushing to see you more so he can give to you, or so he can take from you? Back to the basics: You're an amazing creature. You're instinctual, inspirational, intuitional. Even if you're not using your intuition, you've got it in you. We want to activate the parts of you that you're not using, so the man in front of you sees an open vessel. Someone who can hear him, take his vibes, send them back and play with him. Little by little, he will open up. You can even teach a man who doesn't know how to roll the tennis ball back and forth: "It would feel really great to be asked how I am feeling right now." And when he's not available, you can still get your needs for connection met. Then when you see him, you're less in the complaint and disappointment department, and more in the "I love you" department. Your goal is: I love you. I want to open this up. I want to make this work. On Siren Island, we practice living from this open place. Siren Island is my official community and Feminine Energy Sanctuary. Right now the monthly membership is only $33 here: https://roriraye.com/lp/siren-island-feminine-energy-course-and-community/ Love, Rori

He is shut down, and you are the one doing more. So you go looking for the right question, the thing that will finally open him up. That is not where it is. If you are shut down, he is not going to be able to hear you either. The difference is how open am I? Energy gets circulated even if you are standing ten feet from him, or flirting with a man you have never met. You see someone across the room, he smiles back, and something is happening. There is a circle. That is play. Keep it going — but the moment you shut it down, it stops. And he can only get as open as you are open. He does not trust his knowledge, or his hands, or his abilities. He no longer trusts anything. So this is where you are the leader. You are the one who opens. You have an opportunity with the guy you are with — to help him open up and to feel confident, by you opening up and receiving and being curious and playing. On Siren Island, we practice exactly this. Siren Island is my official community and Feminine Energy Sanctuary. Right now the monthly membership is only $33 here: https://roriraye.com/lp/siren-island-feminine-energy-course-and-community/ Love, Rori

He says the conversations are boring. And you go back through everything you said, looking for the part that was wrong. That's not where it is. What is boring is when people talk from here up. I did this, I did that, that was interesting, what do you do? He is not saying I'm bored by what you're talking about. He is saying I'm bored because you're talking about you. Reporting is boring. Poetry is not boring. You can be saying the most personal words in the world, but if your body is shut down, he can't feel it. It is the same as a singer with a great, amazing voice who doesn't move you - you appreciate it, and then you go read your phone. What stops you scrolling is somebody dancing their heart out. Something you can feel. So he is not feeling something. Which means you are not open. We all say we want to be seen, and yet we are all terrified of being seen. You want to be silent, because you are afraid of the feeling coming out - and yet you are still ringing. Men can feel the ring. And they can feel you sitting on it. So find the moment you were terrified and kept going anyway. That is your hero story. Then get into play, and you can ask anything. Because if you feel like you're playing, you are just at a much deeper level of yourself. On Siren Island, everything is about Playing like a Siren and being felt. Siren Island is my official community and Feminine Energy Sanctuary and right now the monthly membership is only $33 here: https://roriraye.com/lp/siren-island-feminine-energy-course-and-community/ Love, Rori

What if you don't feel fun? What if you are feeling dull, and you're not feeling like flirting at all? Sad, mad, glad, afraid — that's the basic set. And the instruction here isn't to swap the one you've got for a better one. It's to sink down into it, until all of a sudden the feeling is bigger and you start to feel: I'm alive. It's like the electricity being turned on. Who says you cannot have pleasure and grief at the same time? You can be releasing and having a pleasure experience. You can feel fear and be turned on at the same time. Do you want to hold on to that feeling, or do you want to let the next one come? Letting these feelings surface is the key to all of this — and it is about flirting. You're not always happy. But you are always feeling. That is the key here. On Siren Island, we practice the major exploration: what actually makes you feel good, and desired, and happy. Siren Island is my official community and Feminine Energy Sanctuary. Right now the monthly membership is only $33 here: https://roriraye.com/lp/siren-island-feminine-energy-course-and-community/ Love, Rori

If you're not a natural 'play' person, this isn't going to make sense to you at first. Most of us decided a long time ago that we're not the flirty type — that it takes a quickness we don't have, and a line we'd never think of in time.Play is simply the tennis ball going back. Not interrogating him, not performing, just who is this person -- Am I actually listening to this person?You just stay in play instead of complaint.And if you're not a real outgoing person, you can still play. Energetically, you're in this place, and you smile. He's just going to walk right over, and he's just going to smile back.Flirting is simply opening up, offering your presence in the room, and having fun. You cannot have fun if you're shut down. Having fun is something I want you to practice doing.Come play with me and your Siren sisters on Siren Island, where everything is about feeling your depth, getting more of what you really want in life and love, with men, your career and everything important to you...Siren Island is my official community and Feminine Energy Sanctuary. Right now the monthly membership is only $33 here:https://roriraye.com/lp/siren-island-feminine-energy-course-and-community/ I'd love to have you with us! Love, Rori

If you're dating a pool of guys, how do you shortlist them? What kind of tests can you give a man so you know he's going to be good for the relationship team? Upleveling to men who are giving to you is going to be terrifying. You're going to feel it in the pit of your stomach — and that will not be your intuition saying I don't want to do it. That's your subconscious telling you that you shouldn't, because something bad will happen. So try this: A guy comes in the door, regardless of what he looks like, regardless of anything about him. Consider him a messenger. Consider the moment free therapy. Feel curious and excited about what you're going to learn about yourself in this twenty-minute meeting with a stranger. The awareness is all you really need in order to get to your Mr. Right. And these guys you're dating are the best way to do it. Siren Island is my official community and Feminine Energy Sanctuary, where we practice this, and right now the monthly membership is only $33 here: https://roriraye.com/lp/siren-island-feminine-energy-course-and-community/ Love, Rori

A man at work who keeps you at arm's length and isn't available. Someone you hired — a nanny, a housekeeper — and nothing is getting done, and you are frustrated. Maybe he doesn't feel adequate. It's usually why they pull away. Men don't feel adequate, don't feel good enough. And if you are turning a logistical thing into an emotional thing, that's you being codependent — worrying about whether this person likes you, believing you will not survive if they don't. That isn't you. You're responding from the still child self. Really, it's just you being you. Your personality, whoever you are — unearthing that, and letting her fly. That isn't something you do alone. On Siren Island, we practice living as your most empowered Feminine Self. Siren Island is my official community and Feminine Energy Sanctuary. Right now the monthly membership is only $33 here:https://roriraye.com/lp/siren-island-feminine-energy-course-and-community/Love, Rori

Maybe you feel stuck with a guy. He's not doing great. Everything is medium — not thrilling, not wonderful. There's difficulties, there's emotional ups and downs, and you feel like maybe you're in the wrong place, and maybe you need to be angrier, or stronger. We're all afraid that if we keep going down, it just gets worse. But at the bottom, everything is love. You don't have to go down there on your own. A note: this episode does touch on thyroid and anxiety. It is shared as experience, not as direct or personal medical advice. Please talk to your doctor. On Siren Island, we practice living as your most empowered Feminine Self. Siren Island is my official community and Feminine Energy Sanctuary. Right now the monthly membership is only $33 here: https://roriraye.com/lp/siren-island-feminine-energy-course-and-community/ Love, Rori

90 days later, in the kitchen again. Something happened — something that, three months ago, would have sent her straight into the freeze, or the explosion, or the slow withdrawal that takes a week to undo. And instead, she stops. She finds the feeling. She finds what triggered it. She finds the want underneath the rage. And she says it out loud, to him, without a single verdict in it. That's not a different woman. That's the same woman, with a Tool she's actually practiced — not just read about once in an email. That's what Braving The Deep is. Come To the free Siren Awakening - The Physics of Love Workshop on Sunday, August 30th, here: https://roriraye.com/siren-awakening-workshop/ And check out Braving The Deep, here: https://roriraye.com/braving-the-deep/

Yesterday I left you in the kitchen. Rage up. Baggage up. Wanting to hurt him the way you felt hurt. Today I'm giving you the Tool. It's called a Feeling Message™, and if you've been around me a while you've heard me talk about it — but I want you to hear it a little bit differently today, because I'm not teaching it as a communication technique. I'm teaching it as the thing that stands between you and becoming a woman who either explodes or goes numb. There is no third option without this... Come to the free Siren Awakening Workshop on Sunday, August 30th, here: https://roriraye.com/siren-awakening-workshop/

A man is fragile in many ways. He needs wins. He needs to have wins — with you. And here's what screws up that seemingly simple thing — giving him a win — and makes it feel nearly impossible most of the time — and literally the last thing you want to do most of the time... Come to the free Siren Awakening Workshp on Sunday, August 30th, here: https://roriraye.com/braving-the-deep/

So the question is, is that real? Does he make me feel bad, or is something happening inside me that I don't want to deal with? Are there feelings coming up that I don't want to see, that I don't want to look at? If you can't be angry at him without giving away your power, what are you supposed to be doing with that anger? Stomp it out, scream it out, get it out. Say: "I'm so angry. I feel so angry. " Not: "you did that, and that made me feel angry." Then you stand with him open, and that is the key. You stand with anger inside of you, but completely open. And if you think that that is the weakness, somebody has sold you a bill of goods. You can hold the space for your man at the same time as being your strongest, most siren self. Holding space is not a codependent thing. That is you being able to fill this big space with your whole insides and your wants, your feelings, and your anger, and hold it all, but let it be open and exposed to this man. On Siren Island, we practice living as your most empowered Feminine Self. Siren Island is my official community and Feminine Energy Sanctuary, right now the monthly membership is only $33 here: https://roriraye.com/lp/siren-island-feminine-energy-course-and-community/ Love, Rori

I’m getting this question a lot now. How can I tell if it’s intuition or a red flag? How can I tell if it’s intuition or old codependent stuff? You stop trusting yourself. So the game here, the fun of it, and the awesomeness of it, is to begin to trust yourself. Notice a feeling of peace that overcomes you, that takes care of you. Oh, that feels right. Now, you’re instinctively gonna question that. So catch that you’re questioning. Codependent is such a weak word, but actually when you’re codependent, you are strong. So don’t let anybody tell you that that nice thing is weak. On Siren Island, we practice living as your most empowered Feminine Self. Siren Island is my official community and Feminine Energy Sanctuary, right now the monthly membership is only $33 here: https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-community-program/ Love, Rori

The trigger is your winner. Not your enemy.Your winner. Because without something instigating a shock to your system --upsetting the apple cart of your normal patterns --you just stay stuck. You're in a logjam.In one place.Forever. So the trigger happens.All the old patterns come up.And then you step back for a second and go: "Whoa. I felt that.That was old.Oh my goodness, I don't want to go there." I'm not going into his vortex. I'm the vortex. I'm the center. And after one or two times of the same exact thing coming at you --because the same trigger is going to come at you over and over again --you'll have a different choice. Am I going to punish myself? Or am I going to free myself? It's always a choice in the moment. Get out there and let yourself get triggered.Write everything down. Talk to us. Don't let it happen only in your imagination.Do it! That's what Circular Dating is for. Come practice this with us on Siren Island:https://www.coachrori.com/lp/siren-island-feminine-energy-course-and-community/ Love, Rori

If you're in a bad feeling place -- it could be your body. It could be grief. It could be something under the rug you haven't looked at yet. Most grief never goes away. It's always there, so you have to always be willing to feel it. Pick up your hand. Look at your palm. Follow the lines down. Stay with your hand. That was mindfulness. Now do it mindless. No thought. Nothing. Just take the hand in. Feel it. All the way down your body. Wasn't that better? That is vulnerability. That is you looking at a man across the table for the first time in your life -- and just taking him in. Mindless. You don't want to be up here anymore. You want to be down. Down in where you feel stuff. Because the more you're open to feeling everything -- the more you're going to start choosing the good stuff. It's all there all at once, but you get to choose where you focus! Come practice this with us on Siren Island: https://www.coachrori.com/lp/siren-island-feminine-energy-course-and-community/ Love, Rori