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Here's the Question: I want to be friends with a recent ex, and I know that we want different things romantically, but how can I build back the trust and support as friends when he refuses to talk to me?From Rori: All right. You may hate me, but don’t. Don’t do it. Stop it.Too much energy. Ridiculous. For your real wants. He’s a friend.He’s not going to help you. Forget it.Plus, you’re trying to convince him because he’s not coming towards you. You’re totally staying in your masculine energy for a reason.And the reason is you feel lonely, right?You want to, and you want to win too.Let’s see. Yes, you want the win of winning him over.Please don’t do it. Please step away.If I was doing one-to-one with you, I would… even in a master class, I know you’d fight me and you’d say, “oh, but he’s really a worthwhile person. There’s so many things that he could offer me. He could get me a job. He could do this. He could do that.”Doesn’t matter.He’s… like this. You’re going like this forward and he’s moving away. You’re just chasing him.And guess what? All this energy that you’re using on that is just crippling you from what you really want, which is an honest relationship.But I’m here to tell you, I know because I know this in myself.If you meet a man who starts moving towards you, you’re going to run because internally, this is all you can handle.You have to practice.You have to practice just staying like this, like a flower open and let guys come to you and try to pollinate you.Just let them come to you.If you feel scared and you start to run away, I want you to notice that.But going forward is always the losing strategy.Going forward after someone is always a losing strategy.Any strategy is losing.But you’re in your mind, you’re in your masculine.Don’t.Stay still.Being a siren is all about stillness.It’s all about serenity.It’s all about staying on your island.It’s all about singing.It’s all about you singing.If you recognize yourself here, if this feels familiar…Siren Island is where you want to be.Join me on Siren Island here:https://www.coachrori.com/lp/siren-island-feminine-energy-course-and-community/Love, Rori

Everything’s getting better, but it’s still not working. What’s going on? Here’s what I really want you to hear what you’re saying to yourself, okay?You’re saying:X, Y, Z has happened, therefore it will continue to happen.But truthfully, haven’t you ever felt breakthroughs continually in your life?You couldn’t figure out a problem all of a sudden.Have you ever felt like shut down and all of a sudden you cried and then you felt yourself open?All of a sudden your dog did something cute and you went—that’s an opening.That means if some man stood in front of you, no matter how closed down you feel at any given moment, if you tracked yourself and maybe tried to tool in the moment, you could open up for that moment.Most of us have a bad habit of walking down the street, walking through life in a half dead state.You know, we’re in our heads.We are not feeling anything or experiencing anything.We’re in our heads.So we want to work on that and start feeling what’s going on in our body.Start looking at what’s around us—the grass, the trees.Start dropping our head action down into our vaginas and doing that constantly all day long.It’s a matter of…and then you will start to feel more gapsmore openingsmore moments where you feel more like yourselfwhen you feel looserwhen you’re not in your headand things not working out i i’m if you’d like to write that down like one one not work outthe only reason something would not work out would be that: • either he’s decided you’re not the one • or you’ve decided, even though he wants you, that he’s not the one • or he doesn’t want what you wantYou want kids, he doesn’t want kids.All the things that could be decided on date one.And which wouldn’t make a difference as long as you were circular dating more than one man at the same time.It wouldn’t be serial.It wouldn’t be, oh, this is good and then it falls apart.This would be good and then it falls apart.If you’re doing them all, if you’re doing 10 men at the same time or you’re open to it,you have much more chance of not leaning on any one man.And the second that you found a man amazing,it is possible that you started leaning forward.And he went, "whoops, bye!"Which is pretty impossible to happen with a man who actually thinks you’re the one.So there’s no way for you to know.You just got to keep going.Talk to basketball players.Look at sports.One minute, a guy’s falling on his face and missing the hoop 20 times in a row.The next minute he throws it in the hoop and he wins the game for everybody.Yes?So keeping track of your past no’s does not mean that the next yes no is going to be a no.It doesn’t.So here we’re back to this.If you can feel this… it’s for you.Come join me on Siren Island,where you’ll learn how to open, feel, and live in an epically powerful feminine state of being.Enter here:https://www.coachrori.com/lp/siren-island-feminine-energy-course-and-community/Love, Rori

The process of dating, online dating, going on dates, talking to men—that is like exposure, the psychological technique for healing anxiety. If you’re terrified of elevators, you get into the elevator and you deal with your anxiety from a very knowledgeable place until, guess what? The anxiety reaches a level… and then it goes down, if you’re paying attention. So as a Siren, as a modern Siren on Siren Island, learning these techniques to track yourself, you will start to heal yourself through the process of dating and being in a relationship—because it’s those moments of being triggered that are the healing moments. So I’m hoping this is exciting you and giving you more reason to get more deeply involved in this relationship concept, because it will help heal your codependent survival instincts on all levels. Which is going to elevate you financially. It’s going to elevate your work—because your bosses are 99% sure to be in masculine energy, whether or not they’re men or women. Yes—women bosses are totally in their masculine energy. And we need to open the door for you to be a leader in your field, in your feminine. And that means retraining yourself—and everyone around you. So this is pretty momentous. But guess what? It’s the easiest route compared to the one you’re doing now. The one you’re doing now involves thinking your way through it, trying to manipulate other people into loving you and liking you in order for you to survive—which is why we choose unavailable men, men who are confused, men who don’t know what they want. When it’s clear as a bell what you want… Yes, it just makes me—yes—tear up here. It’s like I’m working against myself. You’re working against yourself if you try to pretend like it’s not important to you and say, “I’m just going to decenter them.” No. So what I want you to do is start noticing—with The Catch. There are six Love Forever Tools. If you’re not on Siren Island and hearing this, if you’re not in my Siren world—get in it somehow so you can get the Six Love Forever Tools. Those will change your life in—what—10 pages? So the first one is The Catch, the first of the six. The Catch means awareness. This is everything you see out there—Eckhart Tolle, being a mystic as I perceive myself, the magic of life itself, all of those things… the intuition. Siren Island is here: https://www.coachrori.com/lp/siren-island-feminine-energy-course-and-community/   Love, Rori

Decentering men is about this: Right now, you see out there a political movement to basically demolish the patriarchy in all of its ramifications—everything that it does to women who want to succeed in life beyond the typical… what is said women are supposed to do. You know—be mothers, have children, take care of the house. And listen—women can be successful and have everything else they want. That is something I would love to talk about at another time. But right now… you’re here because of relationships. Because of your relationship with a man. Because you want love in your life. You want affection, tenderness… trust. You want to give your heart to somebody. You want to feel open-hearted. You want to feel love, and sex, and ease, and care. You want to feel somebody cares for you… that you can rely on them. And oh my gosh… all of these amazing feelings that happen in a romantic partnership. And when I say romantic—I mean something different from a friendship. So that’s why you’re here. And so… Let’s talk about that. And if you’re feeling that pull—like you don’t just want to understand this, you actually want to live this… Come join me inside these FemState™ Studio Sessions on Siren Island. This is where we go deeper—where you begin to embody this work in real time, in your real life, with real support. Siren Island is here: https://www.coachrori.com/lp/siren-island-feminine-energy-course-and-community/ And I’ll see you there. Love, Rori

Look at all the women you admire out there. Beyoncé. Come on. No matter who Taylor Swift is with, she's going to make more money than that person. She's going to be more successful. She's a legend. So if she can have love, can you? Yes. Of course you can. What it means is this: you accept a man for who he is, what he is, and what he makes. And you don't make a big deal out of it — even if your subconscious tries to. Instead, you notice the part of you that wants to compete with him, or feel superior to him. And then you ask yourself the real question: What do you want? Do you want to work? Build a career? Be home and contribute in other ways? Here's the simple truth: every man wants something different. Every man is in a different phase of his life. Men are actually pretty straightforward about what they want. The confusing part is that we often don't know what we want. And that's exactly what we help you discover inside Siren Island — how to reconnect with what you truly want, and create the love and life you want from your feminine energy. 👉 Learn more about Siren Island here: https://www.coachrori.com/lp/siren-island-feminine-energy-course-and-community/ Love, Rori

I want you to take your power back. Everybody sees that differently. So stick out your arms. There was a guy who broke up with you once. You invested in him, and you left pieces of yourself still in him. Take them back. Just invite them back. Just go on, do it. Just invite back from that guy who broke your heart. That job, that boss who said something nasty to you — just take your power back, because you left it with him. That guy you got super angry with — you left that piece of you with him, because all that anger still comes up for you, right? If the anger still comes up for you, that piece of you is within him. Take it back. Take back. Take back that anger. That energy. Take it back. Grief is all-encompassing. Feel grief with that person, that dog, that feeling. Keep the feeling. It’s inside. It’s not going anywhere. Take the piece of yourself back. Just take the piece of the power back. Leave the love. Take the power back. Just do it with your hands here. Just do it like that. Just imagine your pieces coming back to you. Just do it this way, figuratively. Just use your hands. Just pull it back. Pat it back in you. Do you feel a little more filled up? Can you feel bigger? Can you just feel it coming back to you? That’s it. If you come up with a past memory of some guy, go, “Ooh, I left some power with him.” And just go, bring it back, and it’ll come back to you. It’s back to you. Don’t even look for it. Just say it’s back. Every time the past comes up for you, realize that it can’t come up for you — not that you have to get rid of the past and do tough stuff to get rid of the past. Just take the power back of you from that memory. Take it back from the memory. You won’t erase the memory. You won’t erase the good feelings. If you’re thinking about something or thinking about what somebody else thinks of you, take your power back. Just take it back. On Siren Island, where I’ve workshopped this, is my official Feminine Energy community where you can get personal coaching in live classes and in writing around this practice and more. Siren Island Is here: https://www.coachrori.com/lp/siren-island-program/ Love, Rori

If a guy says, “What do you do?” or “How’s your work?” or “What are you doing at this party?” the first thing that happens is a thought like, What’s the best answer? What will he like the most? What will turn him on the most? That’s subconscious.  You don’t have to judge yourself for it.  Why judge it? But we do. We judge it, then try to shove it down.  It’s just your subconscious coming up and out of your mouth. That’s it. Instead of judging it, just notice it. Love it.  Then give yourself a chance to ask: Why am I at this party?  Am I here to have a good time?  Or am I here to get someone to come home with me?  To find “my man”?  To survive by securing a relationship? Am I drinking because I’m having fun — or am I self-medicating so I don’t have to hear my own subconscious? Codependency came out of addiction work. Beneath addiction is pain — and beneath that is codependency. Even alcoholics discovered that understanding codependency was key to understanding why they drank in the first place. It’s the same with love addiction. So if you’re at that party for a purpose — why? This constant “purposeful” energy drives self-judgment and control. And here’s the truth: men don’t respond well to controlling energy. If you want to stay in that masculine, controlling place, you can — you get to choose. But it won’t give you what you actually want. If you’re tired of trying to say the right thing, do the right thing, be the right thing — and you’re ready to feel powerful instead of anxious, Siren Island is the space where you actually get to practice this. Siren Island is here:  https://www.coachrori.com/lp/siren-island-program/  Love, Rori

If you don’t think you’re controlling… you probably are. You’re just not doing it in an aggressive way. You’re not doing it in a way that other people would easily recognize. But if you leave a date and you don’t feel high… you feel kind of icky instead… That’s normal — when you didn’t actually feel good in that person’s presence, but you tried hard. You tried to be liked. You tried to be chosen. And then you felt rejected. So what if you didn’t try so hard at all? When it comes to getting your needs met, there are two sides of the same coin. In this case, the need underneath everything is simple: you want to feel appreciated. You want to feel sexy. Desirable. Beautiful. And when someone says “no” to you, it can feel like all of that disappears. Which might mean… we don’t yet have very strong feelings about ourselves. And so what? Very few people feel so self-solid that rejection doesn’t sting. Even the most gorgeous women in the world are devastated by rejection. Even the most stunning women struggle to find partners because they’re stuck in masculine over-efforting, insecurity, and control. You are all gorgeous. I can see that. So you’re here because we’re going to change this whole pattern. We’re going to give up on men as our saviors. We’re going to stop trying to get rescued. We’re going to stop using men to solve our survival and self-worth. And instead, we’re going to come home to ourselves. If this resonates with you, I invite you to officially join us inside the Rori Raye Siren community on Siren Island. Come to the intimate coaching classes. Practice the Feminine State of Being tools. Learn how to soften control, release rejection, and receive everything you want in a way that feels good to you. This is where you practice being present. This is where your feminine is empowered — every single day. I would love to see you inside. Siren Island is here: https://www.coachrori.com/lp/siren-island-program/ Love, Rori

How do we actually deal with rejection?How do we signal a man from our soft, confident feminine… when inside we’re feeling vulnerable, exposed, and deeply afraid of rejection — whether that looks like his clear “no,” a sudden hardness in his eyes, or the feeling of not being seen, felt, or met?And here’s the surprising truth: the pain doesn’t come from rejection itself.It comes from trying.Trying to say the right thing.Trying to signal correctly.Trying to prevent rejection before it happens.That effort — the reaching, the strategizing, the self-monitoring — actually works against your best interests. It pulls you out of your feminine energy and into control, which quietly pushes the right partner away.What if you didn’t try to do anything?No fixing.No improving.No managing how he feels about you.Just space. Stillness. Presence.This is not about giving up. And you’ll learn this up, down, and backwards with me and my Siren Island coaches inside the community. It’s about letting go of what was never the attraction secret to begin with. And when you do, rejection loses its power — because you’re no longer trying to use another person to survive.You might love Siren Island.Check it out here:⁠https://www.coachrori.com/lp/siren-island-program/⁠Love, Rori

It takes a while — sometimes a year, year and a half — for men to decide that it’s correct, that you’re it, right? So what are you going to do during that time? Do you consider yourself a sexual being, and you need a sex partner? That’s me. I want a sex partner, and I’m okay having sex with somebody that I don’t marry. If that’s not you — and you’re faith-based or something, and you don’t want to be having sex — then you have to ask yourself: what level of physical intimacy am I comfortable with? And in the masterclass, we talk about it. Intercourse is intercourse — is that all that you don’t want to do? Can you do oral sex? Can you do a lot of touching sex? Can you do a hand job for him? Can he do a hand job for you? Is orgasm okay? What are your boundaries here? Where does sex start and end? If you want to go deeper into these conversations with us — love, dating, intimacy, boundaries, and feminine power — come join us inside Siren Island, where we explore the real, lived experience of relationships together. Siren Island is here: ⁠https://www.coachrori.com/lp/siren-island-program/⁠ Love, Rori 

We fall into relationships all the time… and we often have no idea what the details actually are. We enter vague relationship deals. So here’s the question: Why do we accept such vagueness from men? This would make an incredible masterclass topic, because the situation often determines what that vagueness looks like and what it’s really about. But underneath it all, it stems from something deeply human: So many of us don’t feel skilled enough to literally get what we want. Not skilled enough to ask for what we want. And even deeper than that… Not actually knowing what we want. We are vague with ourselves. If I asked you right now: What do you want? What would you come up with? Most women say something like, “I want him to do something…” But that’s not a want - that’s a strategy. Those are little pieces. And you can see how we become anxious, scattered, and all over the place when we don’t know the core thing we truly want. People call them “needs” - the six human needs, the Tony Robbins framework… But honestly? I’m much more interested in want. Desire. I love the word desire because it wakes you up. It turns something on inside you. And when you feel turned on, you have so much more power than when you don’t. Because when you’re turned on, you’re looser. You’re more open. You can feel yourself. When you’re not turned on, you’re shut down somewhere. And this is exactly the kind of work we do inside Siren Island. On Siren Island, you’ll have trained coaches walking with you in live classes each month, helping you practice clear, direct communication that actually feels good in a relationship… …and so much more. Siren Island is here: https://www.coachrori.com/lp/siren-island-program/ love, Rori

The need for validation, clarity, and connection often comes out as a question—because a question feels harmless. But what we’re really doing is throwing a spear at him. We’re literally throwing something at him. He’s completely off base—not because he doesn’t care, but because he was probably thinking about sports… or work… or whatever was already in his mind. He wasn’t thinking anything close to what you were thinking. So here you are, asking him a question. “I forgot—what time are we leaving tonight?” You could have checked your calendar. You could have looked at your phone. But you didn’t actually want the time. You wanted connection. That question was a connection boost. The truth is, when we get into clarity scripting, what’s really happening underneath is this: I feel alone. I feel weird. I feel anxious. I need reassurance. I need to connect with you. What you’re actually asking is: Can I have a hug? Please hug me. Or… I need to kiss you. I need to look into your eyes. I’m not in myself—I’m in my head. I need you to ground me. But instead of saying that, we ask a question. So we’re way up in our head—and he feels pushback. He feels pressure. He feels like he’s being asked to perform or answer correctly. And that’s where things start to miss. On Siren Island, you don’t have to figure this out alone. You’ll have my trained coaches walking with you in live classes each month—helping you practice clear, direct communication that actually feels good in a relationship… and so much more. Siren Island is here:https://www.coachrori.com/lp/siren-island-program/ Love, Rori

Look at your hand.  Look at the bracelet you’re wearing.  Look at the shirt you’re wearing. Anything that inspires you to feel grounded, or the floor, or centered — or any of those words we always use — or an object you can touch, that you can feel engaged with. The table right here, the desk, your knee.  Hold your hand. See if you can feel engaged with that. And then see the man, see your boss, see whatever you see — see your work ahead of you — and don’t get lost in the picture for a minute.  I’m here. See if that feels more deep. So instead of “grounded” or “centered,” let’s call it being deep inside you — connected with you, engaged with you. Now tell me: Do you feel the need to ask a question of this person? Or do you kind of feel quiet inside? If you suddenly feel quiet inside, then there’s no need to ask a question.  So what is going on with your vibe now that you’re down there?  Are you feeling angry at him because he’s not engaging with you, and it creates this need inside you?  Are you feeling frustrated that you’re in this moment of discomfort? Or do you feel, oh, I just needed to drop down — I just needed to feel me? I need to feel inside me. I need to feel self. Self. We talk about self-respect, self-regard, self-love… but how about you just feel self? Me. Say me. Say self. You feel that full vibration, that full aliveness of me. And yes, it can make you feel anxious that they will go away if you’re not reaching out.  Of course. So pull it back in. Pull that anxiety, that worry about them, back inside.  Drop it down inside you. It often feels like a reach-out — like a tentacle going out — and then it becomes words, a question.  So what we want to do is notice when that’s happening.  Notice when you feel the need to reach out… and pull it back inside. Feel the loneliness. Feel what’s at the bottom of the feeling that makes you think you need to engage the other human. Turn to a dog, a cat. Feel presence. Feel pleasure. All of a sudden it feels like an invitation. So what we’re really saying is: whenever you feel the need to reach out and ask — even to someone at work, someone on your team — pause and ask yourself: What is the root of that feeling of need? Because it may not be a need at all. You can join us at Siren Island and step into this living, breathing feminine space anytime.Siren Island is here:https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-mystic/Love, Rori 

We’re talking about dating as opposed to deep relationships. So I think in this segment I’m going to go into if you’re deeper into a relationship and there’s so much more baggage and history when you attempt to connect rather than separate through your words, and by getting down into what it is you want when you are already so untaken care of and you have so much anger and all kinds of stuff going on. What I’d like to start with is first a recap of this whole process that I’m talking about. We're starting from a scratch— and if you're not in a loving relationship that feels extraordinary and you’re super happy and amazing... If you’re still not there yet, the way I certainly was until I was 40, then you, like me, have been spending all of your energy literally saying that you want love, but literally pushing it away. That all of your energy has been going into pushing love away, not pulling it in. That your whole—you come to me here with the energetic machine of pushing men away automatically. You’re good at it, and you do it. Even though it sounds and feels like something else to you. It feels like you’re not lucky, or the bad men. It's you pushing men away and love away on purpose, because that is your inner self trying to protect you. So let’s switch that! On Siren Island, you can work with my Rori Raye Coaches every day, in the community, and live over Zoom in five different classes through the month. You can have everything you want from your feminine energy. Siren Island is only $33 each month, and you’ll have me and everyone with you here: https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-mystic/ Love, Rori

So, connection. What does connection feel like?  I’m really talking to faith-based women and non–faith-based women who can come with me into a spiritual place. And when I say a spiritual place, it’s ephemeral. It’s not concrete.  The people around you don’t know what you’re talking about. They may think you are silly. They may think you’re a “silly feeler” with spiritual leanings. I want you to realize how much you are trying to block that stuff. I don’t know a single woman who is not actually a spiritual person.  You have the ability to build cells in your body.  What could that possibly be? You know, cells go bad in your body—and you can heal.  That’s something completely different. That’s connection: to your body, to life, to self, to everything. Just speaking about it—do you feel like we’re in another world that I could call spiritual?  We’re speaking about what I can’t do with a needle or scissors. We’re speaking about what heals. When you break your leg, isn’t it amazing that it heals by itself? Yes, it’s a function of the way your body works, but it’s kind of magical because you don’t know exactly how it works. Siren Island is where you can practice the magical feminine state of being with me and my Feminine Siren Coaches. The live classes, the practices, the community, the tools— all created to help you feel safe in your feminine power so you can use it everywhere in your life. Join us here: https://blog.havetherelationshipyouwant.com/siren-island-mystic/ Love, Rori