Pillow Talks

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1005 reviews
This podcast has
58 episodes
Date created
Last published
Average duration
48 min.
Release period
8 days


Meet Vanessa and Xander Marin, your new BFF couple friends! She’s a sex therapist with 20 years of experience and he’s a regular dude. Together they’re the shockingly open, slightly nerdy, and seriously funny couple you want to grab sushi with. They share the ups and downs in their relationship while giving you step-by-step techniques for improving yours. Subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally do-able sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors, and so much more. It’s the sex education you WISH you’d had!

Podcast episodes

Check latest episodes from Pillow Talks podcast

Is This Your Shit Or Mine?
“Should I have to stop hanging out with my ex because my girlfriend said so?” “Is it my husband’s job to say something to my rude in-laws?” We’re answering these spicy questions and many more in today’s episode of Pillow Talks! Most of us get annoyed by things our partner says or does — but is it their problem, or ours? Is it their responsibility to fix, or is it something we need to learn how to live with? Today we’re answering the question, “Is this your shit or mine?” Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode57
What Do Men REALLY Think About… ? (Vulvas, Emotional Intimacy, And More!)
Every day we get DMs from women asking Xander what men REALLY think about everything from pubic hair to emotional intimacy. We decided we had to devote an entire podcast episode to this topic, so we gathered your most common questions and concerns, and put Xander in the hot seat. We also asked the men in our Instagram audience for their feedback. We’re giving you an invaluable peek inside the hearts and minds of men all over the world. Topics include: Cellulite How many sexual partners a woman has had Do men compare their partner to others? Vulvas (smell, look, taste) Giving oral sex Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode56
The 69 Episode
Love it or hate it, 69 is one of the most infamous sex acts. We just had to give it it’s own episode, especially since today is also 6/9. We’re sharing how we really feel about 69, plus 6.9 amazing tips for having the most fun in this position. You also do not want to miss the hilarious stories our audience shared with us! But that’s not all! It’s also the 1 year anniversary of the Pillow Talks Podcast! We asked you for your favorite moments and jokes from the year, and we’re sharing some of your answers. It’s a really fun walk down memory lane! Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode55 Check out our online courses at https://vmtherapy.com/online-sex-therapy-programs/
Ask Us Anything Part 2: MORE Of Your Burning Questions, Answered
We were WRONG. Well, Vanessa was. She thought there was no way our last Ask Us Anything episode would be popular, but it ended up being one of our most listened-to episodes! So we decided to do a Part 2 with more of the most asked and most interesting personal questions we’ve gotten. We’re talking about: What we fight about What we won’t do sexually Vanessa’s ultra-personal therapy update What our families think about us being in the sex therapy business What we keep private from our Instagram audience And so much more! Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode54 Thanks StoryWorth. Get $10 off your first purchase at StoryWorth.com/pillow
How To Spice It Up In the Bedroom: Exploring Kink For Beginners
Have you ever read a romance novel or watched a sex scene and felt turned on by reading or seeing something kinda kinky that you’ve never even thought of doing in the bedroom before? Maybe you like the sex you’re having now, but you’ve heard of some naughty things that make you a little…curious. This episode is your introduction to kink: what it is, why you might want to experiment with it, and how to actually go about trying it in a safe, healthy way! Go to GreenChef.com/pillow130 and use code pillow130 to get $130 off, plus free shipping!
How To Get Your Man To Take Control In The Bedroom
You’re innocently folding the laundry, just minding your own business, when your partner comes up behind you, brushes your hair away from your ear and whispers “I want you. NOW.” They order you to take off your clothes. They push you down onto the bed, and ravage you from head to toe. We’ve all had this fantasy, right? It’s SO sexy to think about your partner taking control. But what is it about this control fantasy that’s so appealing? You might be surprised to find out... If you’ve ever wanted your (male) partner to take control in the bedroom, this episode is a must-listen! Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode52
The Art of Flirting (In a Long Term Relationship)
“Why should I have to flirt with my partner? We’ve been together forever!” A lot of us in long-term relationships feel hesitant to flirt with our partner. It feels awkward, clunky, or just plain unnecessary. But flirting is an amazing way to ignite that spark you once had and remind you of those exciting early days of your relationship. Most importantly: flirting can make both of you feel SO good about the way you see each other. We know it can feel daunting to flirt with your partner, especially if you’re out of practice or don’t consider yourself good at it, so we’re doing a whole episode on exactly how to flirt. Even if you feel like flirting “isn’t for me” or doesn’t come naturally to you, we promise that this episode will boost your confidence and have you trying out some new techniques ASAP — and don’t blame us if things get a little sweeter (and spicier)! ? Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode51
I Don’t Know How To Say This, But...
You know that thing you really want to tell your partner but you just... don’t know how? Maybe you’re nervous, you really don’t want to hurt their feelings, or it feels like the time is never right. Well, you’re not alone! Our Instagram audience hit us with alllll the things they wish they could tell their partner, and we’re giving them our best advice for how to keep it real while avoiding the dreaded “we need to talk” opener. Check out the show notes: vmtherapy.com/episode50
The Truth About Squirting (And Why Men Are Obsessed With It)
Squirting: is it real? Where does it come from? IS IT PEE?! In this episode, we are doing a deep dive on the mystery of squirting: specifically what it is, why it happens, and how we all became so obsessed with it. Join us for a very educational episode and learn why this topic gets Vanessa so fired up! Check out the show notes at: vmtherapy.com/episode49
How To Get Out Of (And Prevent) Dry Spells
Can’t remember the last time you had sex? Or maybe you remember the exact day and it’s been... too long. It’s time to talk about one of the most-dreaded issues that comes up in relationships... DRY SPELLS! You might find yourself wondering if there’s an end in sight. Has your relationship cooled off for good? When you do have sex again, is it going to be awkward or bad, leading to yet another dry spell? Or maybe you’re scaring yourself because you don’t even miss having sex at all! Dry spells can send you to some really dark places, but we’re here to tell you: there is hope! In this episode, we’re giving you five tips for combatting dry spells, no matter your circumstance. We’re also talking about preventing this issue, so even if you’re not in a dry spell right now, you don’t want to miss this episode! Check out the show notes at: vmtherapy.com/episode48
What Penis Performance Problems REALLY Mean
You’re having a steamy makeout session with your partner, things are getting hot and heavy and leading to sex, but your partner just can’t get or stay erect. (Or maybe their erection isn’t the problem, but their orgasm is.) What does it mean?? For most women, we think the answer lies within ourselves. We’re not hot enough. We’re not experienced enough or lacking technique. Something is wrong with our body, not theirs. What you THINK these performance issues mean vs. what they REALLY mean are two very different animals, so in today’s episode, we are going there. Whether your partner has trouble getting and staying hard, orgasming too quickly/taking too long to orgasm, we’re talking about how these issues have affected us in our relationship and giving you all of our best tips for navigating them in (and out) of the moment. And, spoiler alert, this episode turned into a mini therapy session for us! Check out the show notes at: vmtherapy.com/episode47
The Hygiene Episode: What To Do If Your Partner Isn’t Taking Care Of Themselves
If you’re like many people, hygiene seems pretty basic. Take a shower, brush your teeth, wear deodorant, what’s so hard about that? So you may find yourself confused about why your partner can’t seem to take good care of themselves. How can your partner expect you to want to kiss them, have sex with them, or even be attracted to them in the first place if they haven’t kept up basic hygiene habits? In today’s episode, we’re tackling the topic you’ve been dying for us to address: your partner’s hygiene - or lack thereof. Check out the show notes at vmtherapy.com/episode46

Podcast Reviews

Read Pillow Talks podcast reviews

5 out of 5
1005 reviews
BurtandErnie2022 2022/06/24
V & X: Always a Surprise!?
Every episode applies to my marriage in the most unexpected ways! I recently learned that my introverted husband is actually a PRO at flirting with me...
singlepringle22 2022/06/23
Thanks for including this Single Pringle
I was hesitant to subscribe to this podcast because I am eternally single (and happy) and thought nothing would apply to me but you guys have made me ...
CJpartyof 2022/06/23
Great tool for self reflection and relationship realities
I love that this podcast gives me moments of clarity when self reflecting. I’m able to reflect on why I think/do the things I do and identify what is ...
Seastar23 2022/06/21
Call more open with your partner, intimately and emotionally!
This podcast and following the Instagram page has made me far more comfortable and confident. Tonight my husband and I got talked about what we each w...
dirtmod0 2022/06/21
From the oldies.
A gift we didn’t know we needed! After 40 years of some pretty great sex, you guys have us talking (finally!) about why it’s great and how it can be b...
tiffdv 2022/06/21
I love them
Vanessa and Xander are wonderful and have had a really positive impact on my life. I grew up with a very unhealthy message that all men are driven mad...
funnybunny2468 2022/06/19
One of my favorite podcasts!
Love this podcast so much! Great advice presented in an entertaining and humorous way
Hannahjw8710 2022/06/16
My favorite Podcast/Instagram content ?
I first found Vanessa and Xander on Instagram. I have always felt uncomfortable and uncertain when it can to sex ? but after watching and listening to...
roadtoironmanshelbyl 2022/06/11
I love this podcast!!! All the other sex helpers out there in the world were WAY to serious for us and too much honestly. These two are relatable, lov...
emilynewman 2022/06/11
A great listen
I love listening to Vanessa and Xander! I love learning from them, and about them, on the podcast! It’s the most relaxing and comfortable way to learn...


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