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Surprise! We’re in couples therapy. We sat down and recorded one of our most vulnerable episodes yet all about why we’re in therapy and how it’s going. We talked about what to look for in a potential therapist (and where to look) and gave some tips on how to ask your partner to go to therapy with you. We also got surprisingly deep about the resistance one of us had to going to therapy in the first place… Links & Resources: Visit our Homepage If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow. Thanks Babbel. Visit Babbel.com/pillow for 55% off your subscription.

Today, we’re tackling a huge issue that so many people can relate to… feeling uncomfortable in your own skin during sex. We’re diving into the specific things that make you the most self-conscious, and how these thoughts can impact your sex life. Xander clues us in on what most men are really thinking about bodies during sex and we get into a fascinating (and very personal) conversation about our own body confidence issues. If you’re looking for guidance on how to build body confidence so you can stop worrying about your body and start having amazing sex, this is the episode for you! Links & Resources: Visit our homepage If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!

Today we’re asking a tough question… Are you lazy in bed? And an even harder one… Would your partner say you’re lazy during sex? In this episode, we’re breaking down the specific things you’re doing that your partner thinks are lazy, the consequences of bedroom laziness, and the surprising reasons why you’re not putting in more effort. Most importantly, we’ll walk you through our step-by-step process to stop being lazy and start having more fun in the bedroom! Links & Resources: Challenge: Sweet or Spicy If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!

79% of our community members want their partners to be more romantic. Romance seems to come so easy at the beginning of a relationship, but feels so much harder to sustain long-term! In this episode, we’ll walk you through specific steps to get your partner to be more romantic. You’ll discover your toxic beliefs about romance, the ways you’re actually missing romantic gestures, and tons of specific romantic suggestions. We also asked men to tell us why they’re not more romantic, and what their partners could do to encourage more romance. You’re definitely going to want to tune in for the answers! Links & Resources: Challenge: Sweet or Spicy If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!

You might already know that you’re a 3 on the Enneagram, a generator in human design, or an ENTJ in Myers–Briggs. But do you know your personality type in the bedroom?  Today we’re breaking down our Sex Personality Types model. Our 11 types help you understand what great sex means to you, and what you’re really looking to experience. We’ll help you figure out your type - and your partner’s! We’ll also tell you what to do if your types are different, because - spoiler alert - you probably are!  Links & Resources: Instagram: @vanessaandxander If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!

Snip snap! We’re back with part 2 of Xander’s vasectomy journey. (Start with part 1 if you want to hear his story.) This time we’re answering all your questions about the process from start to finish (literally, all 30 “finishes”). Did Xander have any pain during sex after the procedure? Did his sex drive change? Do his balls hang lower? Is his semen a different color, texture, or volume, and does it smell funny now? Did his vasectomy make him feel less masculine? Plus, we share tons of advice about how to talk to your male partner about getting a vasectomy! Links & Resources: Check out our homepage If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had! Thanks Cozy Earth. CozyEarth.com and get 35% off when you use the code PILLOWTALKS Thanks EarthBreeze!  EarthBreeze.com/pillow to subscribe to Earth Breeze and save 40%!

We asked you to share your funniest foreplay fails, and you REALLY delivered! Today we’re sharing the dangers of jalapeños, why you shouldn’t chew gum during oral, and some bad Cosmo advice about armpits!   But we couldn’t leave it at just your stories; we had to include some of our funniest fails as well. Trust us, you definitely want to hear what happened the very first time Vanessa ever gave someone a b*****b, and the time Xander didn’t really make it to foreplay…   If you want to avoid your own foreplay fail, we’re also sharing our #1 resource for having the best foreplay experience of your life!   Links & Resources:   Guide: The Foreplay Guides   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Thanks Dipsea. Get a 30 day free trial when you go to DipseaStories.com/pillow. Thanks Cozy Earth. For a limited time, save up to 35% at CozyEarth.com and enter PILLOW TALKS at checkout.

Xander got a vasectomy!   By popular demand, we’re walking you through the entire process - how and why we decided to go this route, finding the right doctor, the procedure itself (including the truth about how painful it really was…), aftercare, and so much more.   We also share some hilarious details about preparing for the procedure (including some truly bizarre pictures), Xander’s rant for the haters, and the post-procedure test that had Xander PANICKING!   If you’ve ever wanted the inside scoop on vasectomies, this is an episode you won't want to miss.   And stay tuned for part 2, where we’ll answer all of your burning questions about the procedure.   Links & Resources:   Check out our website   If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!   Thanks, Green Chef! Go to GreenChef.com/60pillow and use code 60pillow to get 60% off, plus 20% off your next 2 months

2023 has been one wild ride! This podcast - all 136 episodes so far - has been a major part of our year, so what better way to celebrate than counting down our top 10 moments from Pillow Talks in 2023? Take a stroll down memory lane to the moments when we couldn't stop laughing or could barely believe the words coming out of our mouths. Your support means the world to us and we can’t wait to keep growing this community. Happy New Year from all of us to all of you! Links & Resources: Check out our podcast page here! vmtherapy.com/podcast If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!

The first time we did Am I The A*****e it was a major success, so we knew we had to bring it back for a part two! In this special holiday edition, we’ve got more fiery takes on your craziest seasonal stories. We’re talking about in-laws, gift exchanges gone wrong, and a workplace Christmas party with a very important side note. Plus, a special guest joins us to weigh in on whether or not Vanessa is actually the holiday asshole… This is an episode you’ll definitely want to put on in the car on the way to your family dinner. Or play at your family celebration and start some conversations! Once you’ve listened to the episode, come back and let us know which story was your favorite and whether or not you agree with our opinions. Links & Resources: Podcast episodes: Episode 37: The Truth About Why We’re Child Free If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!

We all feel like we’re supposed to just be naturally good at intercourse, but there are so many dynamics that can trip us up! What positions are best? How do you MOVE during it? What do you do if one of you can easily orgasm from intercourse, but the other can’t?! We asked our audience what their biggest frustrations are when it comes to intercourse, and we got back some surprising, and some not-so-surprising, answers. We struggled with intercourse early in our own relationship, so we related to a lot of responses. In this episode, we’re sharing exactly what to do to fix these common challenges. And Xander even gives us the inside scoop on the male perspective when it comes to the challenges and pressures of intercourse. Links & Resources: Guide: Next Level Intercourse If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!

“We’re just not having sex anymore...” If you’ve found yourself uttering (or even just thinking) this line, you’re not alone. So many couples will experience a loss of not just their sex life but intimacy altogether. When we released Dead Bedrooms Part One earlier this year, it instantly became one of our top episodes of all time. So we decided to bring it back for a Part Two with a brand new couple.   In this episode, you get to take a peek into another couple’s bedroom as we help them navigate how to resuscitate their sex life. We’re giving our top pointers for reconnecting inside the bedroom and out, tips on how to move through the difficult conversations, and a few suggestions for resources that can help the process along. A dead bedroom can feel draining and never-ending but we promise you there is a light at the end of the tunnel if you’re willing to keep going!   Links & Resources: Book: Sex Talks: The 5 Conversations That Will Transform Your Love Life Course: Art Of Initiation Course: Rediscovering Us Website: Home Page If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to subscribe for your weekly double date full of totally doable sex tips, practical relationship advice, hilarious and honest stories of what really goes on behind closed bedroom doors and so much more. It's the sex education you wish you had!