Advertise on podcast: Talk To Me: The Debra Fileta Podcast

In today’s Couples Therapy episode, we dive deep into the lives of Erin and Ben Napier, the beloved couple behind HGTV's Home Town! They share a candid look at their relationship, blending their professional lives with personal intimacy. They open up about how some people have called them “codependent” – and we touch on the difference between a couple being “connected” vs. “codependent." Ultimately, the big difference isn't how close you are- it's whether your closeness comes from love and security or fear and dependency. They talk about the security they’ve had in their relationship, and in one another since the early days of their love, and how they work hard to stay connected. We unpack the importance of emotional connection, and how to cultivate that in day-to-day life. Tune in to this episode today!! Quiz: Are you connected or codependent? A Connected Couple ● Wants to be together, but doesn't feel like their emotional stability and security depends on being together. ● Has a strong sense of WE without losing their sense of ME (understands their individual strengths, differences, personalities). ● Can spend time apart without feeling threatened or abandoned by the other person. ● Supports each other's individuality, interests, friendships, and growth. ● Can disagree without fearing the relationship is falling apart. ● Takes responsibility for their own emotions while supporting each other emotionally. ● Has healthy boundaries and respects the word "no." ● Makes decisions together without needing permission for every individual choice. ● Can be honest about needs, feelings, and frustrations without fear. ● Celebrates each other's strengths rather than feeling threatened by them. ● Experiences intimacy through vulnerability, not control. ● Chooses connection out of love, not obligation or guilt. ● Recognizes that two emotionally healthy individuals contribute to a healthy relationship. A Codependent Couple ● Feels like they can't function emotionally or mentally without the other person. ● Loses their individual identity in the relationship. ● Experiences significant anxiety, guilt, or insecurity when spending time apart. ● Neglects friendships, interests, or personal needs to keep the relationship secure. ● Avoids conflict because disagreement feels like rejection or abandonment. ● Feels responsible for managing or fixing the other person's emotions. ● Struggles to establish boundaries because saying "no" feels selfish. ● Needs constant reassurance, approval, or validation from their partner. ● Confuses caretaking, rescuing, or self-sacrifice with love. ● Feels threatened when their partner becomes more independent. ● Uses guilt, emotional withdrawal, or control to maintain closeness. ● Stays connected out of fear of losing the relationship rather than freedom to choose it. ● Believes "If you're not okay, I can't be okay." Click here to WATCH the full episode. Podcast Extras: Relationship Skills - Order Now! Relationships don’t fall apart because of a lack of love but struggle because of a lack of skill. As you and your partner move through the four seasons of a relationship each bringing its own rhythms, challenges, and opportunities for growth—how you show up will either strengthen your relationship or slowly wear it down. Originally released as Love in Every Season, this updated and expanded guide from licensed professional counselor Debra Fileta is your road map to the skills you need to strengthen your relationship at every stage. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged, or married, Relationship Skills will help you ●...

What do you do when your family of origin is bringing difficult, dysfunctional, or even toxic behaviors into your marriage and family? Today, I sat down for an important conversation with Dave and Ashley Willis on Couples Therapy, who came to talk to me about the process of dealing with a family member whose unhealthy behavior is causing stress and having a significant drain on them. We spend time talking about setting boundaries with dysfunctional family members, what it looks like to decrease access, and how to navigate difficult family members united in your marriage rather than divided. We spend some time talking about feeling “called” to minister to unhealthy family members, yet making sure to differentiate that from codependent relationships. If you’ve ever dealt with difficult family dynamics, family drama, or family dysfunction - this episode is one you’ve got to listen to from start to finish. Tune into this episode, and then grab a copy of Relationship Skills to learn the skills YOU need to build a thriving relationship! Click here to WATCH the full episode. Podcast Extras: Relationship Skills - Order Now! Relationships don’t fall apart because of a lack of love but struggle because of a lack of skill. As you and your partner move through the four seasons of a relationship each bringing its own rhythms, challenges, and opportunities for growth—how you show up will either strengthen your relationship or slowly wear it down. Originally released as Love in Every Season, this updated and expanded guide from licensed professional counselor Debra Fileta is your road map to the skills you need to strengthen your relationship at every stage. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged, or married, Relationship Skills will help you ● in SPRING: stop ignoring red flags and build on a healthy foundation ● in SUMMER: build connection and intimacy without losing yourself ● in FALL: communicate honestly, repair, and grow through conflict ● in WINTER: stay intentional when things feel stagnant Let this guide help you take your relationship skills to the next level so you can grow in maturity, deepen intimacy, and build a relationship that lasts! The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors...

What do you do when your marriage undergoes a deep rupture that feels like it cannot be repaired? In today’s episode of Couples Therapy, I sat down with Carl and Laura Lentz for a vulnerable conversation, to discuss the affair that ruptured their relationship and set them on a path of healing. We talk about the cracks in their marriage BEFORE the rupture of infidelity in their marriage, how unhealed trauma from the past led to unhealthy coping, what the healing process practically looked like, and how to begin to recover the first 30 days after disclosure. We have some important conversations around childhood wounds, and how the goal of Christian marriage isn’t just staying married - it’s transformation. This conversation is honest and hopeful, and if you or someone you know is going through a serious rupture, breach of trust, or infidelity in your marriage, this episode is one you must sit down and listen to from start to end. Tune into this episode, and then grab a copy of Relationship Skills to learn the skills YOU need to build a thriving relationship! Click here to WATCH the full episode. Podcast Extras: Relationship Skills - Order Now! Relationships don’t fall apart because of a lack of love but struggle because of a lack of skill. As you and your partner move through the four seasons of a relationship each bringing its own rhythms, challenges, and opportunities for growth—how you show up will either strengthen your relationship or slowly wear it down. Originally released as Love in Every Season, this updated and expanded guide from licensed professional counselor Debra Fileta is your road map to the skills you need to strengthen your relationship at every stage. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged, or married, Relationship Skills will help you ● in SPRING: stop ignoring red flags and build on a healthy foundation ● in SUMMER: build connection and intimacy without losing yourself ● in FALL: communicate honestly, repair, and grow through conflict ● in WINTER: stay intentional when things feel stagnant Let this guide help you take your relationship skills to the next level so you can grow in maturity, deepen intimacy, and build a relationship that lasts! The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She is the bestselling author of nine books including Choosing Marriage, Are You Really OK?, RESET, and Soul Care. Debra is the host of the popular podcast and nationally syndicated radio show Talk To Me where she facilitates on-air authentic counseling-style sessions with notable pastors and leaders. You may also recognize her voice from her appearances on national television and radio, including Better Together, The Kirk Cameron Show, Focus on the Family, The 700 Club, and many others. She reaches millions of people each year with the message of mental, emotional, and relational health. Connect with her on Instagram or at DebraFileta.com.

Connection is the heartbeat of a marriage, and without it, a couple can feel like their relationship is slowly dying. In today’s episode of Couples Therapy, we explore the dynamics of connection in marriage with Wade and Rebecca, a couple navigating the challenges of early married life. They’re newlyweds but due to life stressors, physical health issues, and the limitations of living with family, they’re already feeling disconnected in their relationship. We discuss their experiences and practical suggestions for finding a healthy relationship in the middle of life stress and health challenges. If you’re feeling disconnected in your marriage, this episode will give you valuable insights to help you reconnect and thrive. Tune into this episode, and then grab a copy of Relationship Skills to learn the skills YOU need to build a thriving relationship! Click here to WATCH the full episode. Podcast Extras: Relationship Skills - Order Now! Relationships don’t fall apart because of a lack of love but struggle because of a lack of skill. As you and your partner move through the four seasons of a relationship each bringing its own rhythms, challenges, and opportunities for growth—how you show up will either strengthen your relationship or slowly wear it down. Originally released as Love in Every Season, this updated and expanded guide from licensed professional counselor Debra Fileta is your road map to the skills you need to strengthen your relationship at every stage. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged, or married, Relationship Skills will help you ● in SPRING: stop ignoring red flags and build on a healthy foundation ● in SUMMER: build connection and intimacy without losing yourself ● in FALL: communicate honestly, repair, and grow through conflict ● in WINTER: stay intentional when things feel stagnant Let this guide help you take your relationship skills to the next level so you can grow in maturity, deepen intimacy, and build a relationship that lasts! The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She is the bestselling author of nine books including...

Parenting tension is often a marriage problem in disguise. Today on Couples Therapy, I’m joined by Landon and Lindsey who open up about the exact cycle that keeps blowing up their home. They’ve been married 15 years, have three young children, and find that their relationship seems strong – until stress hits. They’re finding that the differences in their parenting styles are triggering each other, and bringing the worst of them – as well as their past wounding – to the surface. Debra walks them through a practical framework for healthier parenting and a healthier marriage. This episode goes deeper than behavior management. It asks the question every overwhelmed parent needs to ask: What happens when your tank is empty, your patience is gone, and your child’s worst moment collides with your worst trigger? The answer could change the way you parent, repair, and connect. Tune into this episode, and then grab a copy of Relationship Skills to learn the skills you need to build a thriving relationship. Click here to WATCH the full episode. Podcast Extras: Relationship Skills - Order Now! Relationships don’t fall apart because of a lack of love but struggle because of a lack of skill. As you and your partner move through the four seasons of a relationship each bringing its own rhythms, challenges, and opportunities for growth—how you show up will either strengthen your relationship or slowly wear it down. Originally released as Love in Every Season, this updated and expanded guide from licensed professional counselor Debra Fileta is your road map to the skills you need to strengthen your relationship at every stage. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged, or married, Relationship Skills will help you in SPRING: stop ignoring red flags and build on a healthy foundation in SUMMER: build connection and intimacy without losing yourself in FALL: communicate honestly, repair, and grow through conflict in WINTER: stay intentional when things feel stagnant Let this guide help you take your relationship skills to the next level so you can grow in maturity, deepen intimacy, and build a relationship that lasts! The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed...

Is it possible to heal AFTER separation? This episode of Couples Therapy is a heartfelt session with Meagan and Ryan, who join Debra to unpack the roots of their separation, including communication breakdowns, emotional distance, betrayal, and the need for healing on both sides. They’re wondering if it’s even possible to heal after the breakdown that’s happened in their marriage over the years. Debra helps them move beyond blame and into a clearer conversation about safety, ownership, boundaries, and what real restoration would require in stages. This episode will give you some very practical steps for repair, as well as a hopeful framework for rebuilding a struggling marriage with honesty, faith, and intentional next steps. Tune into this episode, and then grab a copy of Relationship Skills to learn the skills you need to build a thriving relationship. Click here to WATCH the full episode. Podcast Extras: Relationship Skills - Order Now! Relationships don’t fall apart because of a lack of love but struggle because of a lack of skill. As you and your partner move through the four seasons of a relationship each bringing its own rhythms, challenges, and opportunities for growth—how you show up will either strengthen your relationship or slowly wear it down. Originally released as Love in Every Season, this updated and expanded guide from licensed professional counselor Debra Fileta is your road map to the skills you need to strengthen your relationship at every stage. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged, or married, Relationship Skills will help you in SPRING: stop ignoring red flags and build on a healthy foundation in SUMMER: build connection and intimacy without losing yourself  in FALL: communicate honestly, repair, and grow through conflict  in WINTER: stay intentional when things feel stagnant Let this guide help you take your relationship skills to the next level so you can grow in maturity, deepen intimacy, and build a relationship that lasts! The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, and founder of the a href="https://debrafileta.com/counseling/"...

I am SO EXCITED that today my new book Relationship Skills officially releases into the world!! Because I believe that healthy relationships are not found, they’re built – I invited Levi and Sabrina to join me on today’s episode to discuss some of the concepts in Relationship Skills and how to apply them to this season of marriage. After welcoming their rainbow baby 9 months ago, they find themselves dealing with more conflict and tension in their relationship than usual...and they need some hacks to help them better navigate the conflict when it comes up. We dive into some of my favorite conflict hacks, and I teach them how to practice the skills necessary to get through conflict feeling more connected than they started. Relationship Skills is officially available anywhere books are sold, and I cannot wait to share it with you!! So grab a copy and start building the skills you need to take your relationship to the next level! Click here to WATCH the full episode. Podcast Extras: Relationship Skills - Order Now! Relationships don’t fall apart because of a lack of love but struggle because of a lack of skill. As you and your partner move through the four seasons of a relationship each bringing its own rhythms, challenges, and opportunities for growth—how you show up will either strengthen your relationship or slowly wear it down. Originally released as Love in Every Season, this updated and expanded guide from licensed professional counselor Debra Fileta is your road map to the skills you need to strengthen your relationship at every stage. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged, or married, Relationship Skills will help you ● in SPRING: stop ignoring red flags and build on a healthy foundation ● in SUMMER: build connection and intimacy without losing yourself ● in FALL: communicate honestly, repair, and grow through conflict  ● in WINTER: stay intentional when things feel stagnant Let this guide help you take your relationship skills to the next level so you can grow in maturity, deepen intimacy, and build a relationship that lasts! The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed...

When kids take over the house, marriage can easily go to survival mode - and suddenly the relationship you love feels like one more chore on the to-do list. In this powerful Couples Therapy episode, Lenny and Letty open up about the invisible ways parenting, exhaustion, and unresolved patterns are draining their connection. With three kids, room-sharing, chronic sleep disruption, and years of putting everyone else first, they have reached a point where intentional connection is nonexistent. Debra helps them uncover what is really happening underneath the bedtime battles. What starts as a conversation about kids in the bedroom becomes a deeper look at motivation, avoidance, emotional timing, and the patterns that keep couples disconnected even when they still love each other deeply. If you’ve ever felt like your marriage is getting lost under the demands of parenting, work, and fatigue, this episode will hit home. It’s honest, hopeful, and full of practical wisdom for couples who want to move from barely getting by to building something stronger on purpose.Tune into this episode, and then grab a copy of Relationship Skills to learn the skills you need to build a thriving relationship. Click here to WATCH the full episode. Podcast Extras: Relationship Skills - Pre-Order Now! Relationships don’t fall apart because of a lack of love but struggle because of a lack of skill. As you and your partner move through the four seasons of a relationship each bringing its own rhythms, challenges, and opportunities for growth—how you show up will either strengthen your relationship or slowly wear it down. Originally released as Love in Every Season, this updated and expanded guide from licensed professional counselor Debra Fileta is your road map to the skills you need to strengthen your relationship at every stage. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged, or married, Relationship Skills will help you in SPRING: stop ignoring red flags and build on a healthy foundation in SUMMER: build connection and intimacy without losing yourself  in FALL: communicate honestly, repair, and grow through conflict  in WINTER: stay intentional when things feel stagnant Let this guide help you take your relationship skills to the next level so you can grow in maturity, deepen intimacy, and build a relationship that lasts! The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session...

We’re BACK with the most popular series of the year: COUPLES THERAPY! And we hit the ground running in this heated episode with Curt and Lindsey.They’ve been dating for quite some time, moving toward marriage, yet they still don’t see eye to eye about some of their boundaries in the relationship. Curt feels uncomfortable with some of Lindsey’s decisions and interactions, and Lindsey feels like Curt is not able to understand her perspective, nor trust her to make good choices. Is this an issue of healthy boundaries, or is this an issue of control? Debra helps them get to the root of what might actually be going on underneath their conflict, and the deeper feelings and needs that each one of them need to communicate. This conversation gets a little tense, which is exactly why healthy relationships require us to have the skills to navigate difficult topics and stay engaged. Tune into this episode, and then grab a copy of Relationship Skills to learn the skills you need to build a healthy relationship that lasts! Click here to WATCH the full episode. Podcast Extras: Relationship Skills - Pre-Order Now! Relationships don’t fall apart because of a lack of love but struggle because of a lack of skill. As you and your partner move through the four seasons of a relationship each bringing its own rhythms, challenges, and opportunities for growth—how you show up will either strengthen your relationship or slowly wear it down. Originally released as Love in Every Season, this updated and expanded guide from licensed professional counselor Debra Fileta is your road map to the skills you need to strengthen your relationship at every stage. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged, or married, Relationship Skills will help you in SPRING: stop ignoring red flags and build on a healthy foundation  in SUMMER: build connection and intimacy without losing yourself  in FALL: communicate honestly, repair, and grow through conflict  in WINTER: stay intentional when things feel stagnant Let this guide help you take your relationship skills to the next level so you can grow in maturity, deepen intimacy, and build a relationship that lasts! The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started...

Today we’re closing out our Singles Series with Brittany from deep east Texas! One of my favorite parts of getting to know Brittany was learning about her heart for God’s word and memorizing scripture, ever since she was young. We talk about the power that God’s word has had on her life and how it’s informed so much of who she is and how she chooses to live, and how growing up in a large family shaped the way she sees life, her leadership abilities, and her communication skills. It’s a conversation about faith, family, spiritual leadership, unexpected heartbreak – and personal growth – and I know you’ll be inspired by Brittany, and want to get to know her! Single guys, reach out to Brittany and say hello on Instagram or via email. **A quick note: While we’re excited to introduce you to the singles featured in this series, their appearance on the podcast should not be considered an endorsement or recommendation. We have not conducted background checks or extensive screening, so if you choose to connect with someone featured here, please do so thoughtfully and at your own discretion. Click here to WATCH the full episode. Podcast Extras: Relationship Skills - Pre-Order Now! Relationships don’t fall apart because of a lack of love but struggle because of a lack of skill. As you and your partner move through the four seasons of a relationship each bringing its own rhythms, challenges, and opportunities for growth—how you show up will either strengthen your relationship or slowly wear it down. Originally released as Love in Every Season, this updated and expanded guide from licensed professional counselor Debra Fileta is your road map to the skills you need to strengthen your relationship at every stage. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged, or married, Relationship Skills will help you in SPRING: stop ignoring red flags and build on a healthy foundation in SUMMER: build connection and intimacy without losing yourself in FALL: communicate honestly, repair, and grow through conflic in WINTER: stay intentional when things feel stagnant Let this guide help you take your relationship skills to the next level so you can grow in maturity, deepen intimacy, and build a relationship that lasts! The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She is the bestselling author of nine books including Choosing Marriage, Are You Really OK?, RESET, and Soul Care. Debra is the host of the popular podcast and nationally syndicated radio show Talk To Me where she facilitates on-air authentic counseling-style sessions with notable pastors and leaders. You may also recognize her voice from her appearances...

Today I'm chatting with Paaton from South Dakota, who's in a season where she's taking a personal challenge of saying YES to as many things as she can – to unexpected dates, to new friendships, to pickleball and burn bootcamp, to new friends, to adventure, to trying new things, and everything in between. She's in a season of transition, but she's leaning into the lessons of this season and trying to steward it well. You'll love this conversation and getting to know Paaton Karel, so follow up with her and connect on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/paaton **A quick note: While we're excited to introduce you to the singles featured in this series, their appearance on the podcast should not be considered an endorsement or recommendation. We have not conducted background checks or extensive screening, so if you choose to connect with someone featured here, please do so thoughtfully and at your own discretion.

Today I'm chatting with Rob, a single man from Las Vegas, who is here to let you know that the Vegas stereotype is not always what you expect. He's an entrepreneur that moved to Vegas a few years ago, and has stayed there to pursue his career and invest in his community there. He's passionate about health and wholeness - spiritually, emotionally, and physically, and he really believes that real love does exist. He wants to keep growing in every area of his life. His dating journey has been discouraging thus far, but he believes that he will find love and have a family someday. Ladies, take a minute to start a conversation with Rob by connecting with him on Instagram at: https://www.instagram.com/itsrobanderson **A quick note: While we're excited to introduce you to the singles featured in this series, their appearance on the podcast should not be considered an endorsement or recommendation. We have not conducted background checks or extensive screening, so if you choose to connect with someone featured here, please do so thoughtfully and at your own discretion.

Today on the podcast I’m introducing you to Leah from Arizona, an amazing single woman whose life has taken an unexpected turn as a health and wellness influencer over the past few years. Leah went on a health journey of losing over 200lbs naturally and started sharing about her health journey on social media – which quickly gained attention. She’s in a season of stepping into all the things God has for her - and hopes and prays that this journey will include a husband one day as well. We also spent some time talking through her “not my husband list” – the list of things that she considers a major turn off in the world of online dating…she wants to know if her list is reasonable, or unreasonable! It’s important for us to know our NEEDS vs our PREFERENCES when it comes to dating, and this conversation will challenge you to take a second look at your list as well. You’re going to love this conversation as well as Leah Mancuso, so reach out to her and make a connection! Email: [email protected] **A quick note: While we’re excited to introduce you to the singles featured in this series, their appearance on the podcast should not be considered an endorsement or recommendation. We have not conducted background checks or extensive screening, so if you choose to connect with someone featured here, please do so thoughtfully and at your own discretion.

The Singles Series continues with Malachi from Texas, who processes the journey of carrying past pain into relationships, and how it just bleeds into the next relationship, and the next one –  if you don’t take the time to heal. In trying to run from his pain, he prolonged it and caused more pain along the way that led him down a path of addiction. But the past few years have ushered him into a season of intentional healing, facing the past, and healing from his past trauma as well as his past mistakes. He’s desiring to do relationships in a way that honors God, and he’s committed to staying faithful to the calling God has on his life for ministry. Not only that, but now he leads a freedom ministry, helping others get set free as well. He’s moved from heartbreak into healing, and he’s praying for a woman who can walk with him along that journey. Ladies, give Malachi a shout out and introduce yourself by contacting him at:  Email: [email protected]  or Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/malachiburden_ **A quick note: While we’re excited to introduce you to the singles featured in this series, their appearance on the podcast should not be considered an endorsement or recommendation. We have not conducted background checks or extensive screening, so if you choose to connect with someone featured here, please do so thoughtfully and at your own discretion.

The Singles Series continues with Lauren from Indiana, who is learning to make the most of singleness, while she trusts God with her hopes for marriage. She just finished her degree to become a counselor, and she has a deep love and compassion for people. Not only that, but she’s in a season of really enjoying her people – a strong community of friends that she’s built around herself to do life with. We talk about how she’s built community, and the importance role community, friendship, and intentional relationships has in her life. Then I process with her why a lack of community as a single person would actually be a red flag, as she’s looking for someone to date and match her life and values. This is a really inspiring conversation if you’re single, to encourage you to make sure you’re really making the most of life. Gentleman, reach out and connect with Lauren Creek by starting a conversation with her on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/llcreek or Email: [email protected] **A quick note: While we’re excited to introduce you to the singles featured in this series, their appearance on the podcast should not be considered an endorsement or recommendation. We have not conducted background checks or extensive screening, so if you choose to connect with someone featured here, please do so thoughtfully and at your own discretion.