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I played this song opening for Kenny Loggins at a huge ‘date-night’ concert in the gym at UC–SanDiego in 1977. Fortunately they appreciated satire! WHEN YOU ASK ME FIRST Cho: Well I love to do it Baby A But you only make it worse Bm I just don’t get excited Bm When you go and ask me first! A So don’t touch me where I’m ticklish A And don’t sit on my lap, Bm And don’t ask me politely Baby E It makes me feel trapped. A ‘Cause when you chase me, Darlin’ A It really turns me off Bm I’ve tried so hard to tell you, D But I guess I’m getting soft, E7 So please, just sit and smile A With helpless soulful eyes F#m Admiring me while F#m I run my finger up your thighs! C#7 Then I kiss you, … C#7 And I breathe heavy in your ear, C#7 And you should whisper “Take me! Take me!” D7 And could you make it sound sincere? E7 Cho: I love to do it Baby But you only make it worse, I just don’t get excited When you go and ask me first! When I start to change positions Like the pictures in the book, And use a couple mirrors So I can see how neat we look! You start to change positions too, In ways I’ve never seen! And you kiss with your eyes open! And you laugh, and yell, and scream! You used to be more normal, Yeah, you liked it face-to-face. But now you’re going crazy And you like it anyplace! You said I could be on top. You said you understood, But all last night you wouldn’t stop! Awww, …you busted it for good! Cho: I love to do it Baby But you only make it worse, I just don’t get excited When you go and ask me first! Cho: Yes, I love to do it Darlin’ When everything is right, But I think I feel my headache Coming on again tonight! Written by Peter Alsop © 1977, Moose School Music (BMI) On ‘Asleep At The Helm’ & ‘Songs On Sex & Sexuality’ peteralsop.com I encourage folks to be aware of the stories we have about ourselves, in relation to the world around us. The stories that have the most effect on us can be the ones that ‘keep us going’, when the ‘going gets rough’, …or the ones that taught us we must ‘live with things the way they are’, no matter how painful! No wonder this guy in this song is ‘scared’ and ‘confused’ and busy trying to control things! In fact, the stories we grew up with to survive in our family of origin and our culture, … need to be identified, dusted off, shaken out and retold to ourselves with healthier plot lines and endings! We can’t change our history, but we can change our stories. Growing up as a boy in any one of our worldwide patriarchal cultures, ... we are besieged with all sorts of stories about sex and girls and women. We hear stories about what boys and men can expect and how we should behave. This song is a reality check for any men who learned as a boy that we’re supposed to be in charge! Camping With Dads My newest album ‘Camping With Dads’ is a long-form story that centers on what us Dads can do to stop passing on unhealthy male messages to our boys. We often tell the very same jokes and stories that men in our lives taught us when we were boys! This album is for all men, … boys, dads, grandads, uncles and cousins; … to reflect on our behaviors; to root out some of our old tired stories, and to commit to hold ourselves responsible every time we do something that puts down women or girls or treats them like second class humans, regardless of our intended good intentions. (It’s also for moms, grammas, aunts and sisters!) For fifty years I’ve written songs to help grow and support a culture where men and boys care how girls and women are treated; a culture where we foster caring, kindness and a regard for women, girls, and boys! Some of our stories taught us that if a male gets ‘sexually aroused’ or ‘turned-on’ by a woman, it’s her fault! And therefore, males have the right to expect them to ‘relieve our arousal’. Boys and men often obsess about a female as the object of their lust, and when our misplaced sexual expectations are not met, these same real live women can become the target of our dangerous male anger. When a ‘Dad’ catches himself saying “C’mon son! Don’t cry. Cowboy up! What are you, a sissy!?” Can we take that moment to stop, ... apologize, ... and explain to our sons (and daughters!), that a remark like that came from our ‘old training’? Maybe share with them where we may have picked that story up! And most importantly, why WE want to stop passing these messages on to them, our sons, … and daughters! The Women’s ‘#MeToo Movement’ models wonderful solidarity of ‘sisterhood’! When a woman speaks up about her male abuser, she has to face being re-abused by a culture and a legal system that blames the survivor. Men get accused of doing things they didn’t do, ... but the number of those occasions are minuscule compared to the number of times women are abused and cannot speak up, because they know what will happen to them if they decide to accuse a man of sexual abuse. It takes great courage for any woman to stand up and tell, ... just as it does, for another women to come forward, join the first woman and tell her story about the same perpetrator who has abused them both. That’s why we need #MeToo!, … so individual women do not have to face our mostly male-run legal system by themselves. “When You Ask Me First” is on ASLEEP AT THE HELM My CAMPING WITH DADS album has stories and songs to be shared with the whole family to bring up subjects we need to look at for boys and men to change our ways! And you can find my CDs, DVDs & Songbooks at: Bandcamp.com. Lemme know what you think! I’d love to hear from you! Please send comments or ask questions! Send me an email! Stay safe out there! Keep singing! Please VOTE your heart! Big changes going on, ... and many big stories need changing! Bye for now! Peter Check out my audio podcasts here: Peter Alsop’s SONGS TO CHEW LIKE COMMENT RESTACK Peter Alsop’s Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Peter Alsop’s Substack at peteralsop.substack.com/subscribe

Two days ago I posted my song ‘New Ground’ about loss, … so, just to keep us in balance, … here’s a song about how us humans always start looking for someone to blame when the world goes crazy! We’re going through huge changes socially and globally these days, … people are dying and it sure feels like we don’t have much control over our own little lives. Y’know, … it makes it a little bit easier if we can just find someone or something to blame it on! GONE FOR GOOD An old brown cow was sittin’ G In a pasture eating grass D7, C#7 When she looked down at the ground, C7 She saw a black bug walkin’ past. D7-G She watched him push and struggle With that little twig he’d found, Then she raised her hoof and mashed that bug! (SQUISH!) Into the ground! Cho: I can’t find a reason C7 Why some of us must die. G And others live and feel bad, C7-C#7 Maybe God knows why, D7, C#7 But I can’t find a reason, C7 If I only understood, G-G/F-Em Then I wouldn’t be so angry, G Yes, that bug is gone for good!! A-D7-G Now later in the afternoon, That cow went home to eat And the Farmer, he packed her friends and her Into a truck out on the street. He’d decided to quit milkin’ cows And start t’raisin’ ducks Well Old MacDonald had a cow, Now she’s a Cheeseburger Deluxe! Cho: Well I can’t find a reason Why some of us must die. And others live and feel bad, Maybe God knows why, But I can’t find a reason, If I only understood, Then I wouldn’t be so angry, Hey, that cow is gone for good!! Well Old MacDonald choked to death On one hard-boiled duck egg. And the duck who laid it ended up, … As “Roasted Duck With Nutmeg!” And the chef who roasted up that duck, Stepped on an avocado, Slipped underneath a tour bus, Bound for southern Colorado! The driver’s name was Alice, And she didn’t even stop! They caught-up with her in Dallas, Eating pancakes with a cop, … He was this foolish guy named Jerry, Who never carried guns. He’d fed her boysenberry syrup And he caught her with the runs! When he took her down to book her At the nearest precinct house, Well next door there, all the local circus elephants, They got frightened by this mouse, And they stampeded on the squad car, They didn’t even hurt their feet! But Jerry, Alice and the car, Were tramped into the street! And the mouse who scared them elephants, He gave one little shrug, And three weeks later he died, When he was bitten by a bug, … Who was the thirty-second cousin Of that bug killed by that cow! Well if it wasn’t for that bug, … Maybe they’d all still be here now! Cho: Well I can’t find a reason Why some of us must die! And others live and feel bad, Maybe God knows why, … But I can’t find a reason, If I only understood! Then I wouldn’t be so angry, When you’re gone, you’re gone for good! No, I wouldn’t be so angry, … When you’re gone, … you’re gone, … for good!! Written by Peter Alsop, © 1985, Moose School Music (BMI) On Fan Club Favorites and Songs On Loss & Grief – www.peteralsop.com There’s a great lesson about blaming that gets passed around in Alanon circles. When I point my finger at you, and blame you for something you did, ... I might be very accurate at analyzing how you were part of this problem, ... but, ... if I look at my own hand with the pointing finger, there’s only one finger pointing at you, … and the other three other fingers, … are pointing back at ME!! Unless we’re Mary Poppins, ... (perfect in every way,) ... there’s usually some part of this problem that I need to look at, otherwise, ... I wouldn’t be pointing at you! The main reason we want to blame others is that, … if we do it really well, ... we deflect attention from ourselves, ... and we don’t have to take responsibility for OUR part of the situation! Besides, I can’t really do anything about you and your part of this, ... but I CAN look at my part, and make some changes there! Don’t forget we can vote! There’s an election coming up! Bye for now! Peter Alsop’s Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. If you’re not a Subscriber please click the Subscribe button. It’s free! You can always reach me at [email protected], and you don’t have to be a ‘paid’ subscriber to get my posts. All my posts are always public! Everyone gets ‘em, … some folks send in money to support my work, which I greatly appreciate, but in either case, I’m glad you’re here! (If you run into a request to pay something from Substack, … you can just ‘click on’ past it!) I’d also appreciate it if you would take a minute to ‘spread the word’ and share my Substack posts with your friends, family or anyone who you think might like to hear some of the information I pass on through my songs and stories. Feel free to check out any of my past posts that you haven’t seen yet, and please ‘Re-stack’ them if you think others might like to discover my work. They’re all here! Thanks for your support! Bye for now! Peter Check out my audio podcasts here: Peter Alsop’s SONGS TO CHEW And you can find my CDs, DVDs & Songbooks at: Bandcamp.com. I’d love to hear from you! Please send comments or ask questions! LIKE COMMENT RESTACK 2 Likes Get full access to Peter Alsop’s Substack at peteralsop.substack.com/subscribe

Our lives shift when a big loss happens. Things go along smoothly, then ‘BANG!’, something occurs, and our lives change drastically, and our perceptions shift. Hurt feelings can help us see things with new eyes. When we ‘lose’ someone or something important to us, we feel an emptiness and sadness inside. Sometimes we act brave for the people around us, and we need to give ourselves permission to cry, express anger, and grieve our losses. It’s okay to feel ‘not-okay’! Crying is a healthy way to release pent-up stress, fear, loneliness, and sadness. If we allow others, especially children, to see our sadness, we give them permission to express theirs too. NEW GROUND The leaf falls from the tree. E The sap runs deep. B7 Snow in the winter E Covers seeds that sleep. B7 Sun melts the ice, E And the warm Earth gives B7 Water to the sprouts E And the green world lives. B7-E Cho: Watch for a sign. A-B7 Keep your heart alive. E-C#m The spirit breaks new ground A-B-C#m Whenever something dies. E-B7-E Watch the shadows closely, A-B7 The tears will clean your eyes E-C#m The spirit breaks new ground A-B-C#m Whenever something dies. E-B7-E Instrumental E-F#m7-G#m6-F#m7 You may have lost a toy You may have lost a dream You may have lost a friend Someone who you need. Your chest can feel the pain That makes it hard to breathe, But your love will always stay And the pain will leave. Cho: Watch for a sign Keep your heart alive The spirit breaks new ground Whenever something dies. Watch the shadows closely, The tears will clean your eyes. The spirit breaks new ground Whenever something dies. Written by Peter Alsop, ©1987, Moose School Music (BMI) On ‘In The Hospital’ & ‘Songs On Loss & Grief’ www.peteralsop.com The opposite of ‘love’ is not ‘hate’, but fear. When we’re afraid, our fears cripple our ability to help our loved ones who are experiencing a loss. The comfort of a warm touch, or of listening silently to them are some of the most valuable things we can do when someone is sad. Here are some exercises I’ve used when working with kids. - Take a seed out of the next piece of fruit that you eat and plant it in some dirt, about two inches under the surface. Water it and keep the soil moist, but not soggy, then watch for what comes up! Ask a parent or grandparent to plant a small garden with you. Ask them if they ever knew anyone who died or left them, and what they did to adjust to the changes. Draw a picture of how you felt when you really missed someone. Illustration by Terri Asher - (colored in by Peter!) And here are some simple questions to ask others, … and ourselves! ( Make sure we ‘really listen’ to the ‘answers’!) Did you ever lose something or someone that you really liked or loved? How did your heart and chest feel when you thought about it? Have you ever grown too big to wear a favorite article of clothing? Was it hard to watch your younger brotheror sister wear it? Why? Have you ever had to move away from some place or someone you loved? Was there anything that made the pain of leaving go away? What? Have you ever had friends or family members move away from you? What did you do to take care of your feelings? Do you know a person or an animal who died? Were you sad? Did you cry about missing them? What things did you miss? Do you still need to do some crying now about something you lost? Can you find a safe place to cry? Do you know someone who you feel safe to cry with? How do you know when someone else feels ‘safe’ for you? Grief can cause sensations of physical pain, difficulty in breathing, depression, and loss of appetite. When we discuss past losses with our friends and loved ones, painful feelings are acknowledged and expressed, and we discover that ‘new sprouts’ of hope start to appear. Unexpected strength, wisdom, compassion, insight, and acceptance can grow out of loss experiences. Watch for a sign. Keep your heart alive! Peter Alsop’s Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. If you’re not a Subscriber please click the Subscribe button. It’s free! You can always reach me at [email protected], and you don’t have to be a ‘paid’ subscriber to get my posts. All my posts are always public! Everyone gets ‘em, … some folks send in money to support my work, which I greatly appreciate, but in either case, I’m glad you’re here! (If you run into a request to pay something from Substack, … you can just ‘click on’ past it!) I’d also appreciate it if you would take a minute to ‘spread the word’ and share my Substack posts with your friends, family or anyone who you think might like to hear some of the information I pass on through my songs and stories. Feel free to check out any of my past posts that you haven’t seen yet, and please ‘Re-stack’ them if you think others might like to discover my work. They’re all here! Thanks for your support! Bye for now! Peter Check out my audio podcasts here: Peter Alsop’s SONGS TO CHEW And you can find my CDs, DVDs & Songbooks at: Bandcamp.com. I’d love to hear from you! Please send comments or ask questions! LIKE COMMENT RESTACK Get full access to Peter Alsop’s Substack at peteralsop.substack.com/subscribe

Crows have developed a reputation as ‘thieves’ who steal a farmer’s seeds and crops after they’ve been planted. Maybe so, … but I don’t think crows could ever be as devastating to farmers as Monsanto/Bayer. I first heard about the Monsanto company creating problems for farmers when I traveled to play music for folks in the Mid-west. LOW FLYING CROWS Low flying crows Em Sail in on a wind Cmaj7 As cold as a city Asus4 As cold as their grin Em Skimming over our fields Em Sowing seeds full of tears Cmaj7 For their hybrids won’t yield D Even one seed next year Em Cho: Low flying crows C Want your eyes to stay closed D Make sure everyone knows Em Watch for low flying crows! Em-D Watch for low flying crows! Em-D Watch for low flying crows! Em-B7-Em With their corporate seal They darken our sky For the profits to rise Our old seeds must die When our heirlooms are gone Then the crows who we feed Crow all night long For we must buy their seed! Cho: Low flying crows Want your eyes to stay closed Make sure everyone knows Watch for low flying crows! Watch for low flying crows! Watch for low flying crows! Instrumental Break Now we stand as one! A They’ve been blocking the sun C Back to shadows they go D When all of us know, Em-D-Em Watch for low flying crows! Em-D-Em Watch for low flying crows! Em-D-Em Watch for low flying crows! Em-B7-Em Written by Peter Alsop, ©Copyright 2010, Moose School Music (BMI) On ‘Disciples of PerFection’ https://www.peteralsop.com Monsanto genetically modified seeds to resist certain kinds of toxic chemicals. The great idea was to sell these crop seeds to farmers, and when their crops started to grow, the farmers could spray them with Monsanto’s ‘Roundup’ or ‘Dicamba’ or some other kind of toxic plant killer, and these crops would have a built-in immunity. All the other plants or bugs in the area however, … would be killed. Farmers wouldn’t have to weed their crops! Great sales pitch! The crop plants could then use the minerals, water and sunlight resources, without having to compete with any other plants or insect pests around them. Seemed like a good idea, but the problem with spreading toxins around where we grow our food, is that Monsanto couldn’t prove beyond a reasonable doubt that toxins would NOT be the absorbed by the plants or the humans who work in the fields, or who live nearby or who consume these crops! And when the wind carried some of these seeds accidentally into neighboring fields, Monsanto’s lawyers would sue those neighboring farmers for copyright infringement and the theft and of their modified plants, because Monsanto had copyrighted the DNA of their genetically modified seeds! The farmers who had legally purchased and used the GMO seeds and toxins on their property, in order to grow corn or soy crops, eventually discovered that those modified plants were hybrids that did not produce new seed that could be planted for the next season’s crops. With their lands tainted from the toxins they had already spread, the farmers had to buy more seeds from Monsanto year after year, ending the age-old cycle and practice of collecting seeds from the previous year’s crop to seed the fields for the new year. Monsanto effectively had a monopoly, so, … of course they raised the price of their seeds. This system also created health problems. The main active ingredient of Roundup is isopropylamine salt of glyphosate. There is a graph, easily accessible online, that shows the remarkable, almost exact correlation between the rise in childhood autism and the manufacture, sale and usage of Monsanto’s Round Up (glyphosate) on corn and soy crops from 1994 to 2010. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) the prevalence of childhood autism continues to rise here in America. Although we do not yet know the actual cause of autism, more and more research points to the connection between autism risk and exposure to the herbicide glyphosate, the active ingredient in Monsanto’s common weed killer ‘Roundup’. Scientists, as yet unable to prove that that glyphosate causes autism, point out that the exact similarity in the aforementioned graph implies a strong connection. On March 21, 2025, after a three‑week trial in Cobb County, Georgia, the court awarded John Barnes, 65 million dollars in compensatory damages, plus 2 billion dollars in punitive damages when the jury concluded Barnes’ NHL(non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma) cancer was caused by glyphosate exposure and that Monsanto (now part of Bayer) withheld or failed to disclose known risks about ‘Roundup’. Expert testimony linked glyphosate to NHL; Monsanto argued no credible scientific proof and cited regulatory safety assessments. Many victims, including farm workers, landscape professionals, golf course green-keepers, and private homeowners have already come forward now to file claims against Monsanto after having been exposed to glyphosate. Glyphosate has made its way into our food supply, as about 90% of all corn and soy, as well as a significant amount of wheat, are treated with this toxic chemical. The presence of high amounts of glyphosate in the urine samples of the severely affected children in the current study, who had been eating nonorganic food, calls into question the wisdom of distributing GMO foods dependent on glyphosate usage throughout the world. Please Restack or share this post with your friends and family. We can try to change these unhealthy profit-based systems by boycotting and writing letters to these irresponsible corporations. We need to pressure them to base their decisions on caring about our health, not simply on making a profit. It’s common to feel small and overwhelmed when we challenge the callousness of huge corporations like Bayer and Monsanto, but then I remember what the Dalai Lama said, … “If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito!” Peter Alsop’s Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. If you’re not a Subscriber please click the Subscribe button. It’s free! You can always reach me at [email protected], and you don’t have to be a ‘paid’ subscriber to get my posts. All my posts are always public! Everyone gets ‘em, … some folks send in money to support my work, which I greatly appreciate, but in either case, I’m glad you’re here! (If you run into a request to pay something from Substack, … you can just ‘click on’ past it!) I’d also appreciate it if you would take a minute to ‘spread the word’ and share my Substack posts with your friends, family or anyone who you think might like to hear some of the information I pass on through my songs and stories. Feel free to check out any of my past posts that you haven’t seen yet, and please ‘Re-stack’ them if you think others might like to discover my work. They’re all here! Thanks for your support! Bye for now! Peter Check out my audio podcasts here: Peter Alsop’s SONGS TO CHEW And you can find my CDs, DVDs & Songbooks at: Bandcamp.com. I’d love to hear from you! Please send comments or ask questions! LIKE COMMENT RESTACK Get full access to Peter Alsop’s Substack at peteralsop.substack.com/subscribe

I do a lot of children’s songs, … and Pete Seeger did too. I had two daughters though, … I feel ‘rich in daughters’, … and that can be a little bit confusing as a parent. I told the kids “to not write in books!”, and then I got all these little kids’ books with a woodchuck! … And it was always a ‘little boy’ hero. I didn’t understand it! … so I went in, and changed all the he’s to she’s, and thehims to hers, and, then I wrote in the books! ‘Cause I think that they needed to hear that little girls could be heroes too? Don’t ya think?! Pete did a song called ‘Abiyoyo’ which is taken from and old African tale which I’m gonna do for you. There’s a little boy, … so, … it’s gonna be a little girl today, … I’m sorry!! (Not really!) ABIYOYO Abiyoyo. Abiyoyo. Abiyoyo. Abiyoyo. D Abiyoyo, ya-yoyo, ya-yoyo! A-A7-D, A-A7-D Abiyoyo, ya-yoyo, ya-yoyo! Once upon a time there was a little, … girl, who had a ukelele. She’d go around town going, plunk-plunk-plunk-plunk! plunk-plunk-plunk-plunk! People said “Get that thing out of here!” Not only that, but the girl’s father was a-gettin’ in trouble. He was a magician, and he had a Magic wand. He could go Zoop! Zoop! Make things disappear! Well, the problem was, the little girl’s father, Was playin’ too many tricks on people. Someone would be doing a hard day’s work, Zzt, zzt, zzt, zzt! (sound of sawing) Father would come up with his Magic wand and, Zoop! - No saw! Come to someone about to have a big cold glass of, … something, Father would come up, Zoop! the glass would Disappear! He’d come to someone about to sit down after a hard day’s work, Zoop! No chair! People said, “You get out of here, too! You take your Magic wand and your daughter!” And the little girl and her father were ‘ostracized’. That means that they had to live on the edge of town. Now in this town, people told stories. Dm The old people told stories about the Giants That used to live there in the old days! They told a story about a Giant called “Abiyoyo”! Said he was “Big as a House!” And he could EAT - PEOPLE - UP! Of course, no one believed them, But they told the stories anyway. One day, … one day, The Sun rose, blood red over the hills . People woke up and looked out their window. They saw a big shadow in front of the Sun. And they could feel the ground shake! Stomp! Stomp! Women screamed! “Ahh!” Strong Men fainted “Ohh!” “Run for your lives! Abiyoyo’s coming!” Abiyoyo went into a sheep pasture Grabbed a whole sheep, GULP! He went to the cow pasture, Grabbeds a whole cow! GYEULP! People said, “Grab your favorite possessions. And run for your lives!!” Just then the little girl and her father woke up. They looked out the window. “Hey Pa! What’s coming over across the fields?” “Oh, Daughter, … that’s Abiyoyo! If only I could get him to lie down, I could make him disappear!” The girl said “Come with me, … Pa!” She took her Father’s hand and she grabbed the ukulele, And Father grabbed the Magic wand, and they ran across the field. People yelled, “Don’t go near him! He’ll eat you alive!” It was Abiyoyo! He had long fingernails, ‘cause he never cut ‘em. He had slobbery teeth, … ‘cause he didn’t brush them. He had stinky feet, ‘cause he didn’t wash them. And he raised up his claws! And the little girl whipped out her ukelele, and she said, “Abiyoyo. Abiyoyo. Abiyoyo. Abiyoyo. Abiyoyo, ya-yoyo, ya-yoyo! (nervous & scared) Abiyoyo, ya-yoyo, ya-yoyo.” Well, the Giant had never heard a song about himself before. And a foolish Grin spread over his face. And the Giant started to dance and sing! “Abiyoyo. Abiyoyo. Abiyoyo. Abiyoyo.” The little girl played faster! “Abiyoyo. Abiyoyo. Abiyoyo. Abiyoyo. Abiyoyo, ya-yoyo, ya-yoyo! Abiyoyo, huff, puff, huff, puff!” The Giant got out of breath! And fell down, … flat on the ground! Zoop! Zoop! The people looked out their window. Abiyoyo disappeared! They ran across the field! They picked up the little girl, … and her Father! They said, “Come back to town. Bring the damn ukelele, we don’t care!” And they all started to sing! Abiyoyo, Abiyoyo. Abiyoyo, Abiyoyo. Abiyoyo, ya-yoyo, ya-yoyo! Abiyoyo, ya-yoyo, ya-yoyo! Far as I know, … this story collected by Pete Seeger Now I know there’s a bit of Magic in this story. I like to think that some things surely do seem magical to us humans, … like electricity seems kinda magical to me. My favorite part of this story is getting to see the sometimes ‘invisible magic’ that happens to us humans, when one of us, … maybe a little child who loves the arts and music, has the courage to stand up against impossible odds and see what they can achieve by taking some action. This little girl recruited some help from her Pa, … and the community jumped up to support them. There are lots of scary and upsetting things going on in our world right now, and many of us feel like there’s no way out! We feel helpless, … like we don’t know what we could possibly do to make a difference because we’re facing ‘impossible odds’! Hmmm? So as you drift off to sleep tonight, maybe you can think about this little girl and her Pa. And maybe there are some real live people you know, who have shown courage and who don’t stop trying to make the world a better place. Maybe folks who have figured out how to set things up so giants aren’t so scary. Let me know what you come up with. I’d love to hear from you. Bye for now … Peter Peter Alsop’s Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. If you’re not a Subscriber please click the Subscribe button. It’s free! You can always reach me at [email protected], and you don’t have to be a ‘paid’ subscriber to get my posts. All my posts are always public! Everyone gets ‘em, … some folks send in money to support my work, which I greatly appreciate, but in either case, I’m glad you’re here! (If you run into a request to pay something from Substack, … you can just ‘click on’ past it!) It helps if you would ‘spread the word’ and share my Substack posts with your friends. Feel free to ‘re-stack’ a post or send it to anyone who might find it entertaining or helpful. Thanks for stopping by! Bye for now! Check out my audio podcasts here: Peter Alsop’s SONGS TO CHEW And you can find my CDs, DVDs & Songbooks at: Bandcamp.com. I’d love to hear from you! Please send comments or ask questions! LIKE COMMENT RESTACK Get full access to Peter Alsop’s Substack at peteralsop.substack.com/subscribe

One of the many wonderful things about being a folk and family music performer is singing ‘sing-alongs’ with our audiences. It’s definitely a requirement for playing songs with kids, ... less so for a folk-singer, ... but still, there’s nothing quite as fun and dear as a room full of humans lifting our voices together. This video is from 1977 when I opened a show for Kenny Loggins at UC San Diego. I closed my set with Bill Steele’s song about ‘garbage’. It’s way fun to sing because my version of it is what I call ‘a scream-along’! Feel free to scream along with us! GARBAGE Mr. Thompson calls the waiter, F#m Orders steak and baked po-tater, Then he leaves the bone and gristle, And he never eats the skin. C#7 The busboy comes and takes it, With a cough contaminates it, Then he throws it in a can with coffee Grinds and sardine tins. F#m A truck comes by on Friday C#7 And carts it all away. D7 And a thousand trucks just like it, G#7 Are converging on the bay! C#7 Cho: Garbage! (GARBAGE!), Garbage! (GARBAGE!) F#m We’re filling up the sea with garbage! (GARBAGE!) F#m-C#7 Garbage! (GARBAGE!), Garbage! (GARBAGE!) C#7 What will we do when there’s C#7 No place left to put all of the garbage? (GARBAGE!) C#7-F#m Mr. Johnson starts his Cadillac, Winds it up the freeway track Leaving friends and neighbors in a ‘Hydro-carbon’ haze. He’s joined by lots of smaller cars, All sending gases to the stars There to form a seething cloud That hangs for thirty days While the sun licks down upon it With its ultra-violet tongues It turns to smog and settles down Right inside your lungs! Cho: Garbage! (GARBAGE!), Garbage! (GARBAGE!) We’re filling up our lungs with garbage! (GARBAGE!) Garbage, (GARBAGE!), Garbage, (GARBAGE!) What will we do when there’s Nothing left to breathe but garbage? (GARBAGE!) Getting home and taking off his shoes, He settles down with the evening news While the kids do homework , With the T.V. in one ear. While Superman for the thousandth time, Sells talking dolls and conquers crime, They dutifully learn the date of Birth of Paul Revere. In the paper there’s a piece About the mayor’s middle name, And he gets it done in time to watch The all-star Bingo Game! Cho: Garbage! (GARBAGE!), Garbage! (GARBAGE!) We’re filling up our minds with garbage! (GARBAGE!) Garbage, (GARBAGE!)Garbage, (GARBAGE!) What will we do when there’s Nothing left to sing about, nothing left to talk about Nothing left to look like, and nothing left to smell like, Nothing left to be, … but garbage?! (GARBAGE!) Written by Bill Steele, ©1973, C****a Music Ltd On ‘Peter Alsop’ – www.peteralsop.com This concert happened 50 year ago, and since then, ... we’ve been overrun and overloaded with excess packaging for our food, our plastic bottles and individually wrapped apples, extra-large bulk store quantity boxes. We didn’t have many recycling bins back then, and now they’re being phased out because we have too much plastic waste in the US that companies no longer value it as a recycle-able resource. Alana Semuels wrote an article in 2019 in The Atlantic Magazine entitled “Is This The End of Recycling?” We’re consuming more and more stuff, and now that other countries won’t take our papers and plastics anymore, all our discarded stuff ends up in the trash, or the ocean and our water. Our municipalities face two choices: pay higher rates to get rid of our recycling overflow, or throw it all away. Most choose the latter, because we can’t afford to be environmentally responsible. And maybe you’ve heard, ... there’s an area in the middle of the Pacific ocean, between California/Mexico and Hawaii where there’s a high concentration of plastic waste. Last time I heard, the ‘Great Pacific Garbage Patch’ was 1.6 million square kilometers and growing. Fortunately, there are young activists trying to reduce the amount of plastic waste produced, so it won’t end up in our oceans or as micro-plastics in our bodies! Many of our weather reports include something called the AQI or Air Quality Index. Some days our AQI numbers are healthy for us, but increasingly we face numbers that are unhealthy for sensitive groups, or very unhealthy for everyone! Recently this has included smoke from the plethora of wild fires blazing in the West and dust generated by drought. Perhaps the most powerful verse of Bill Steele’s song, .is the one about ‘filling our minds with garbage’! If that could be heeded, ... we could actually focus on what’s going on in our world; then, instead of teaching children in schools ‘what to think’ so they can past a test, we could be teaching them ‘HOW’ to think!’ We need their new little brains to address some of our most critical issues facing us today! Instead of buying and swallowing corporate propaganda about our, need for any kind of jobs (regardless of what’s being produced), ... we could give people jobs making solar and wind power more available so that everyone could benefit from renewable energies. We could unglue from our cel phones and get out on the land to support our indigenous water-defenders, our youth climate activists, and find ways to slow down the huge increase in our human population that puts such demands on our finite resources. So yes, ... my audience and I had a great time screaming along together, and building community like that creates opportunities for us to get other people’s attention! We have an election coming up soon. ... and we need to organize with each other to go out and make sure our votes count! There is some genius to the art of putting deep ideas into a fun, musical format. We listen, we think, we stir the pot, we chew on ideas, and then we make an effort to see what we can come up with! Let’s find the missing puzzle-pieces, ... so we can make caring about others, ... important again! Bye for now! Thanks for subscribing! It’s public so feel free to ‘re-stack’ it or share it with anyone who might find my posts helpful. Check out my audio podcasts here: Peter Alsop’s SONGS TO CHEW And you can find my CDs, DVDs & Songbooks at: Bandcamp.com. I’d love to hear from you! Send a comment, or ask questions, and if you're not a Subscriber please click the Subscribe button. It’s free! And you can always reach me at [email protected]. You don’t have to be a ‘paid’ subscriber to get my posts. Everyone gets ‘em, … some folks send in money to support my work, which I appreciate. In either case, I’m glad you’re here! Thanks for spreading the word and sharing with your friends. Bye for now Get full access to Peter Alsop’s Substack at peteralsop.substack.com/subscribe

In 1971 I saw an action film called ‘Billy Jack’ where writer-director Tom Laughlin plays a half-Navajo, ex-Green Beret veteran, who saves wild horses from being slaughtered for dog food, while he helps protect a desert “freedom school” for runaways. During the film Billy Jack goes through a Navajo ‘snake dance’ initiation rite of manhood, where he enters a ceremonial dance ring with a large rattlesnake. The rattlesnake’s job is to bite the dancer, and the dancer’s job is to survive the bite and become a warrior. It doesn’t always work out well for the young dancer. As a 25-year-old myself, I was amazed that everyone involved agreed to play the roles they were assigned. The dancer and the snake are stuck in the ring together, … acting out their parts in their very real relationship. SNAKE DANCE Dancing in a snake dance A-Asus2-E7sus4-A Where the dancer twirls and spins Dsus2-A And the guilty serpent strikes Dsus2 And neither partner wins Dsus2-A, A V1: I asked her how she’d been A She said, “You’ve been our best friend, Dsus2-A And I don’t know where to begin, E2-G6-A Cho: I don’t love him anymore Dsus2-A I’ve had it up to here, I’ve seen it all before C#7-F#m He won’t let me help him E He hollers if I try F#7sus4/E And I know I must be crazy B-B7sus4, Emodal But I can’t say ‘Good-bye’“ Emodal-A, A V2: She cried and poured my tea A She said “What can I do? Dsus2-A You see, I’m his guiding light F#m-F#m7 When I help him talk things through Bm-E, Esus4-E But he holds me up on high A Where he guards me jealously D-Bm, Bm7 While he gets it on with one-night stands E-F#m He can’t make love with me! Esus4-E Cho: I don’t love him anymore Dsus2-Afig I’ve had it up to here, I’ve seen it all before C#7-F#m He scares me when he’s angry E He burns me with his eyes, F#7sus4/E(044200) And if I say ‘I’m leaving’ B(799800)-B7sus4(797900), E-modal(079900) It kills me when he cries.” E-modal-A, A V3: I hugged her in the silence A “It’ll all work out,” I lied Dsus2-A I was hardly out her door F#m-F#m7 When I had to stop and cry Bm-E, Esus4-E They were dancing in a snake dance A To a tune I used to know D-Bm, Bm7 My heart was aching now E-F#m Though it happened long ago Esus4-E Cho: They were dancing in a snake dance D That would have to run it’s time A And it hurt to see them dancing C#7 In a dance so much like mine F#m, F#m7 Where the serpent strikes E When he hears his dancer’s cries F#7sus4/E And he feels twice the pain B-B7sus4, Emodal When his dancer finally dies! Emodal Yes, he strikes ‘cause he’s afraid E Of love that’s true, F#7sus4/E And both of them are poisoned B-B7sus4-Emodal When the dance is through. Emodal-A Dancing in a snake dance A-Asus2-E7sus4/A-A Where the dancers twirl and spin, Dsus2-A And the guilty serpent strikes Dsus2 And neither partner wins! Dsus2 (005030/004030)4x-(002200) Written by Peter Alsop, ©1979, Moose School Music (BMI) On ‘Draw The Line’ and ‘Songs On Recovery & Addiction’ Big ‘Thanks’ to Janis Liebhart, Jim McVay and Matt Cartsonis www.peteralsop.com Eight years later, when I wrote this song, I saw echoes of this powerful ‘snake dance’ analogy everywhere I went. On the road, I’d visit a variety of friends as I criss-crossed the country. During my stays I would hear separate private painful stories from each partner! So many couples struggle with their own version of a ‘snake dance’. I listened, and although I felt I might have some valuable advice, I didn’t ‘take sides’, as they were figuring out how to proceed with their own lives, … together or apart. When we don’t know how or where to go for help, we strike out physically, or verbally. Often one or both of us find someone else to soothe us, as we try to escape this painful and toxic dance, where neither dancer knows how to retreat. And the man who sings this song, the best friend of the woman who confides to him about the painful trap her relationship has become for her, has his own wounds that get triggered. Having been through a ‘snake dance’ himself, his pain is very present and real, and yet he knows that ‘placing blame’ only continues the dance. ILLUSTRATION BY TERRI ASHER The question I heard most frequently from women who heard this song was, “How did you learn these things?” And I would say, “from watching men, and listening to women.” Sometimes we have to finish our dance. Once we’ve lived through the pain of what got us here, we need to look honestly at how we got into this ‘snake dance’ in the first place. Once we understand the entanglements, we can avoid the missteps we took in the past, ... so we don’t repeat them in the future. Each of us take ‘missteps’ as we find our way through our personal lives. By understanding them, we learn to take better steps that improve all areas of our lives. By learning how to love ourselves better and care for others, we gain the skills we need to surround ourselves with people who know how to love us back. Written by Peter Alsop, ©1979, Moose School Music (BMI) On ‘Draw The Line’ and ‘Songs On Recovery & Addiction’ Glad you stopped by. Please share this post with anyone who might find it useful! Thanks for reading Peter Alsop’s Substack! This post is public so feel free to share it or Re-stack it! Check out my audio podcasts here: Peter Alsop’s SONGS TO CHEW And you can find my CDs, DVDs & Songbooks at: Bandcamp.com. I’d love to hear from you. To send me a comment, or ask a question, please sign up as a Substack Subscriber by clicking the Subscribe button. It’s free! And you can always reach me at [email protected]. You don’t have to be a ‘paid’ subscriber to get my posts. Everyone gets ‘em, … some folks send in money to support my work. In either case, glad you’re here! Thanks for spreading the word and sharing with your friends. Bye for now! Peter Alsop’s Substack is a reader supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Peter Alsop’s Substack at peteralsop.substack.com/subscribe

While presenting a keynote address in Atlanta, GA in 2008 at the National Foster Parents Association Annual Meeting, I had the opportunity to visit a foster home nearby, where five severely developmentally disabled kids were being ‘fostered’ by some very special people. Children with disabilities are always hard to place, and these foster parents had decided to legally adopt 4 of these 5 kids, each one of which required 24/7 care for their disabilities. When I arrived at their home of these children, all five kids were in their cribs in their group bedroom. Their parents were on their way home from the conference, so I sat and waited in the low light with the children and their paid helpers, who were there on that particular shift. They tended to the kids who were not sleeping. One of the boys, a 13-year-old, was still in his crib in diapers. Next to his crib, a little 3-year-old girl lay paralyzed and brain-damaged as she had been a ‘shaken baby’ whose spinal cord had been damaged. She seemed like she was in another world. The children stirred when they heard the parents come into the room. Each of those kids who had appeared to be ‘unavailable’, living at the severe end of the autism spectrum, lite up with smiles as they heard the parents voices and felt the presence of these folks who loved them. They got hugs and caresses from their parents, and I thought, … “How hard this must be, … to have the responsibility of caring for these little humans. So many other adults would only see the burdens and impediments that these children carry with them, while these two loving parents obviously delighted in having the company of these innocent little ones.” Love songs I’ve heard on the radio, are mostly someone singing a mournful lament about how their heart has been ‘broken’ by someone they loved, who didn’t love them back enough. “Love is so HARD! It gives me the blues!” “Well, …” I thought, “All that musical ‘heart-ache’ and that, “it’s just you and me against the world Darling” kind-of-love, seems “EASY”, compared to what these parents signed up for! And that’s what sprouted the idea for my “Hard Love” song. HARD LOVE Sometimes love seems so easy D9-G6 Then that passion knocks me flat down D9-Asus4-A And my heart sings the blues, for each love that I lose D9-G6 Then I get up n’start lookin’ around Em-A(Asus4-A) Chorus: Hard love is not what I look for D-G(C-G) Specially when it looks hard from the start D-Asus4-A But I learned how to live, when I learned how t’give Bm-G Hard love helps me find my heart Em-A Hard love helped me find my heart. Em-A-D, Dsus4-D Now ‘hit’ songs are all ‘easy love’ songs Lovers fight, they make up, they rejoice. But I never knew what ‘hard love’ was Til I had to make that hard choice When my drunken Dad bust in through my door When my buddy the soldier just stared at the floor When my cousin got caught, and I bailed her out That’s what hard love’s about Chorus: Hard love is not what I look for ‘Cause I know it can tear me apart But I learned how to live, when I learned how t’give Hard love helped me find my heart Hard love helped me find my heart. Instrumental chorus Bridge: What ever happened to “turn the other cheek”? Cmaj7(032030)-Em7(020030)-A Was that only popular last week? Cmaj7-Em7-Asus4-A7 Hard love’s all around, but where’s the awards? For those young single Moms lugging babies through stores For that Dad who keeps working a job that’s dead-end T’keep family together or t’pay back a friend? Where’s that statue for Grandma, whose daughter’s in jail, As she helps her blind granddaughter learn t’read Braille She gave up her own dreams to ‘hard-love’ that girl, And that hard love opened their worlds! Chorus: Hard love is not what we look for ‘Specially when it looks hard from the start But we learn how to live, when we learn how to give Hard love helps us find our heart Hard love helps us find our heart. Hard love helped me find my heart! Em-A-Cmj7, Em7/Asus4-A Em7(020030)/Asus4-A Written by Peter Alsop, ©2010 Moose School Music (BMI) On ‘Disciples Of PerFection’ - www.peteralsop.com Here’s me and my 2nd & 3rd grade Junior Guidance class at PS132 in the South Bronx, NYC in 1970. These guys taught me sooo much about ‘hard love’ and stickin’ together! Thanks Clinton, Harold, Jesse, both Darrells and George! And I think that ‘finding our heart’ is the reason we were born. Of course, I don’t know for sure why we arrived here on this planet. Some people experience life as joyous, some find it overwhelming and full of pain. There are bunches of us who would report a blended mix of those two. I suspect the story we tell ourselves about our own lives has a lot to do with our experience as we travel through our time here. Some of those stories come from our families, our parents, our culture, our religion, our experiences, our gender and place of birth and color of our skin. And there are lots of people who have changed the story they got, … and made it better. I’ve seen people who have gone through horrendous experiences and rather than accept that story as their story, they shift, and reframe things. They create new stories that empower them; and songs to lift themselves up as they search and find lessons in their misfortune, and by doing so, … they build knowledge and the ability to help others shift their stories and songs too. The story I think we need most in the world now, is one that helps us figure out how to widen our circle of caring for others. How do we open our hearts and our hands and let go of our own personal fears about ‘not having enough’, … so we can share what we do have, with others? I think that’s what ‘hard love’ is about. What do you think? Drop me a note and let me know. Bye for now, … Thanks to Greg Hilfman for playing piano and engineering this song. Ellen Geer and Shelby Flint sing background vocals. If you liked this song and my comments, … I’d sure appreciate you spreading the word about it by re-stacking and sharing it, … maybe telling your friends and family about my work. My albums and songs are available as cd’s or as downloads at https://peteralsop.bandcamp.com. Or check out more of my songs on earlier posts, or listen to my audio posts at: Peter Alsop’s SONGS TO CHEW (click here! ) My Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and to support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. (You don’t have to be a ‘paid’ subscriber to get my posts. Everyone gets ‘em, … but some folks do send in money to support my work, which I appreciate!) To send me a comment, you can hit the Subscribe button. That’s free! And you can always email me at [email protected]. I’d love to hear from you! In either case, glad you’re here! Thanks for spreading the word! Bye for now!. Get full access to Peter Alsop’s Substack at peteralsop.substack.com/subscribe

EBENEZER’S MAKE OVER A Feature-length Musical Video by Peter Alsop Suitable for: Gender & Women’s Studies • Social Work • Psychology • Counseling • Literature • Human Services • Ethics • Theatre • Political Science My audiences told me, “This will help save the world!” They said, “You have to get this video to as many people as possible!” “Okay,” I said, “Here we go!” In 2003 there were bunches of ‘make over’ themed television shows. ‘Queer-eye For The Straight Guy’ was one I found particularly delightful. Four or five gay men would descend on a heterosexual man who had agreed to have his life restructured. With their aid and advice, by the end of the show, … he was transformed! He wasn’t exactly gay, but he was happy! After watching the show, I remembered Charles Dickens’ classic story, ‘A Christmas Carol’, and realized it was basically a ‘make over’ story about Ebenezer Scrooge! One day he was a greedy old man who “Bah-humbugged!” the idea of Christmas at every opportunity, … and the next day, after being visited by three Spirits in the night, he had become delightfully cheery and generous, with the ‘milk of human kindness, running by the quart in every vein!’ My next thought was, “There are so many men these days who could use a ‘make over’, … about their sexism, patriarchy, racism, capitalism, religion and general self-centeredness!” A year later, in 2004 I released a musical CD called ‘Ebenezer’s Make Over’ using Dickens’ structure in the form of a radio show. I replaced the original themes of greed and generosity with a sharp, humane, and often hilarious examination of sexism, gender socialization, patriarchy and what happens to everyone when men don’t change. I used actors from our local theater company, the Will Geer Theatricum Botanicum, and folded the story around amazing songs by my many wonderful feminist songwriter friends, Holly Near, Geof Morgan and Charlie Murphy to name a few. Holly Near & Peter Alsop. Geof Morgan Now we jump ahead twenty years or so, and I was upset about the ultra-conservative, sexist, racist dictator-type environment that was surging up in the world. I had to do something to help myself and others around me cope, and ‘Ebenezer’ popped up again and got my attention. I decided to make the story into a play, and to film it so thousands of people could watch Scrooge’s transformation, and hear the songs and think about what we might do, individually and/or collectively to turn the tide back to more ‘kind-hearted’ ways of treating each other. In the winter of 2025, I redid the script and worked with my bestie friend and musical director Greg Hilfman to pull together the actors and musicians. We had some rehearsals, never with everyone there at the same time, … and in May we performed for our live audiences with a couple of cameras. It took two months to edit. The sound was difficult as we were on an outdoor stage while the springtime tree frogs serenaded us throughout all the footage. When we finished, I realized that the benefits of the show were not going to be appreciated by standard media outlets and distributors because I wanted to make it free for everyone, … educators and thought leaders, gender & women’s studies, and basically everywhere! I also didn’t want to show this video to one person at a time, … through a ‘screen’. After CoVid, we learned how important it is for us humans to interact with each other in person, rather than just staring at our own individual screens. The most beneficial part of this project occurred when our play audience ‘broke the fourth wall’ on the stage and sang, laughed and clapped-along together with the cast and musicians. By the end of the play our little community felt like a much safer place than it did when they first took their seats. Our show was designed to build community and generate conversation, not just get applause. The Theatricum shows ended with lively talk-backs where audience members, cast, and invited guests had an open dialogue about the show’s questions. As a community, we had all experienced watching Scrooge’s transformation, and our discussions after the shows were noticeably deeper because of that sense of community and safety. When a live video audience watches this video, we encourage the teacher or facilitator to invite the video audience, their class or conference attendees or group members, to join in and sing with the people in the video. It works to make your after-show discussions much more rich and rewarding. We’re now looking for teachers or department heads from high schools, colleges or universities to facilitate and show this video as adjunct material or main curricula for Gender Studies, Men’s or Women’s Studies, in Sociology, Social Work, English, Psychology, Education, Counseling, Religion, Political Science or Theater. We will provide a free streaming link for the full video along with a ‘Facilitators Guide’ to help people facilitate their own presentation. Please send us any information about anyone you know who might be interested in showing it to their students or clients! If you’re interested, please contact Peter for more info. We also have a full Episodic Version that divides the show into 14 different short episodes, each with it’s own title. I prefer this version because it creates stopping places for people to pause and talk about what they’ve just seen. (You can get both versions for free.) Maybe after a dinner with friends, to share with each other. Maybe they just saw an idea to gently help Uncle Larry lessen his sexist behaviors at the next dinner. Maybe it allows folks to take a bathroom break, or get something to drink, or deal with kids or a phone call. If the video’s used in a full semester course that meets once a week, each episode could focus on a specific issue that Scrooge deals with in each episode. Maybe, it’s just to help people remember where they stopped, so they know where to start it up again next time! BINARY MALE BRAINS Because men live with our binary favoring brains, in a binary favoring system, when we feel stuck, there’s huge pressure to make a simple binary choice. But when we do that, we miss other more nuanced choices that can’t get in, because we’ve already decided on our simple binary choice. Sometimes, when we don’t know exactly what to do, it helps to just sit and wait to see what comes in. It’s difficult, but this is one of Scrooge’s lessons. Pay more attention to how others are feeling. Here’s my poem ‘Good News!’ about this. GOOD NEWS! Good news! Good news! It’s NOT all black and white! See it that way if you want to, but it’s NOT right! ‘Cause when we see things ‘either-or’, … or ‘friend-or-foe’, or ‘win-or-lose’ But we find no simple answers, … then we think, … “We have to choose!” It’s hard to make decisions. Us humans struggle with our lives, But it’s ‘good news’ to know, there’s always more than just two sides. That’s where it all begins! That’s where the problem starts! Men’s brains love simple choices, and we forget to use our hearts! We grab one side or the other, ‘cause there’s pressure to decide. Hey guys, … think about your mother, before you pick one side. Most mothers understand, there are lots of ways to find How we can ‘work things out’ keeping everyone in mind! Often life ‘ain’t easy’. There are ‘nuances’ we need To try to keep things peaceful, so no one has to bleed! So maybe there’s no winner, … but everyone pulls through. It’s not “my way or the highway!”, and it’s not just ‘me and you’, It’s ALL the living people, the animals and plants! Living here in ‘our community’, learning how to dance! We all feel fear and anger, but we also feel love. The ‘Good News’ is, we can choose to lift each other up And we can start on this today, if we learn to change our ways. When we begin to help each other, we’ll all see better days! Written by Peter Alsop, Copyright 2026, Moose School Music (BMI) Please DONATE - if you can! We intend for ‘Ebenezer’s Make Over’ to be FREE for anyone who would like to see it, along with a FREE really helpful ‘Facilitator’s Guide’. Hopefully you will share it with others. Any funds that come in will go to support people who show this video to their group or their class or congregation and who need help with advertising their event or to pay for a facilitator to help them guide the after-show discussion. We have also partnered with the Filmmakers Collective SF - a 501(c)3 non-profit media organization with a mission to catalyze positive change through the power of filmmaking. So your donations are tax deductible as allowed by Federal and State regulations. Please let us know if you know anyone who might find this video useful, … (we already know that it’s humorous and entertaining, … we’d love to hear how you or others you show it to, … are impacted by seeing it, so we can share those thoughts as we spread the word. Thanks! Bye for now! Peter Thanks for reading Peter Alsop’s Substack! This post is public so feel free to share it. Peter Alsop’s Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. You don’t need to pay to Subscribe. You will simply get my newest posts and you can browse through all my other materials for free also. If Substack asks you to donate as a patron, … please only do so if you can afford it. Thanks so much! Enjoy. Peter For Peter Alsop’s audio posts & podcasts - SONGS TO CHEW For Peter’s albums, songbooks & dvd’s Get full access to Peter Alsop’s Substack at peteralsop.substack.com/subscribe

It’s St. Patrick’s day again! How wonderful that stories we learn growing up can change and inform us as we grow older. The Irish myth about St. Patrick, ‘ridding Ireland of all the snakes’ is a wonderful place to start this discussion. We humans have taken over most of the world by eliminating any other creatures who threaten us or our expansion. It’s ‘fear’ that drives us to completely wipe out other living species, rather than finding ways to share space with them. It’s our mostly male ‘binary ways’ of coping with an ‘all-or-nothing’ dilemma that we face. There’s too much pressure to have to choose, we don’t know what else to do, so we pick one simple answer and hang onto it, no matter what. Saint Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland, was a real person who lived in the 5th century. He came to Ireland to proselytize for Christianity. One of the biggest myths about his ‘story’, is that he drove all the snakes out of Ireland and into the sea. The fact is that Ireland never had any snakes for St. Patrick to banish! The event that prevented snakes from living in Ireland, was actually the Ice Age that ended 10,000 years ago. When kids hear this myth, they ask, “Did he have to get rid of ALL the snakes?” I’ve learned that we can let go of our binary mandates, and not have to throw out the whole delicious story. We can hold onto parts of old stories like this. We can appreciate and celebrate with our community the stories we grew up with in our lives. And, … we can alter some of the untrue details in our stories, and add some of the important nuances we’ve learned from living through life’s hard lessons. When we’re not afraid, if we learn how to behave in less violent, more caring ways than what we learned from listening to old stories, then, … when we are afraid, we will know some healthier, more effective ways to proceed. As the song says, “we can crush all the spiders with books, y’know, but killing them’s kind of a crime, ‘cause all life is sacred!” WAS ST PAT SCARED? St. Pat drove the snakes out of Ireland A7-D-A-D Tho’ snakes are God’s creatures too G-D And they probably scared St Patrick a bit G-D And they might even frighten you E-A But getting rid of all the snakes D-A-D Won’t make your fear go away G-Bm It puts it off for awhile G-D But your fear will come back some day, some daaaay A-Bm-G Your fear will come back some day D-A-D-A7 So you go somewhere else and get frightened Maybe by spiders this time You can crush all the spiders with books, y’know But killing them’s kind of a crime. Cause all life is sacred In my heart, I know it’s true These animals just are trying their best T’stay alive like we do, we dooo To stay alive like we do. When you kill the things you’re scared of You loose what you need to explore To learn t’grow and be stronger To stop being scared like before So if you hate spiders and snakes There’s one thing that is clear If you kill ‘em or crush ‘em or chase ‘em away You never get rid of your fear, oh noooo! No, you never get rid of your fear. Those creatures are here for a reason God made ‘em and He’s no fool We can’t avoid Life’s lessons We learn that at home and in school. So don’t copy old St Patrick Who never conquered his fear God didn’t make this world for just us People living here, my dear, noooo! It’s for all the creatures here! St Patrick just felt frightened of D-A-D What us other creatures do G-Bm So give us a break! Don’t be frightened of me G-D And I won’t be frightened of you, of youuu, nooo! A-Bm-G Give us a break! Don’t be frightened of me G-D And I won’t be frightened of you! A-A7-D Written by Peter Alsop, ©Copyright 2007, Moose School Music (BMI) ‘OnGrow It At Home’ - www.peteralsop.com That story about Eve and the Serpent and the Apple is a delicious allegory with lots of hidden messages, but the reality is, … ‘If we don’t take care of our ‘Garden of Eden’, we won’t get to stay!’ Thanks for stopping by. Please share this post with anyone who might find it useful! Check out Peter Alsop’s SONGS TO CHEW audio podcast by clicking here! Or if you’d like to hear any of my albums or see my dvd’s go to: https://peteralsop.bandcamp.com To send me a comment, sign in as a Substack member by clicking the Subscribe button. It’s free! And you can always email me at [email protected]. Peter Alsop’s Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. I’d love to hear from you! You don’t have to be a ‘paid’ subscriber to get my posts. Everyone gets ‘em, … some folks send in money to support my work. In either case, glad you’re here! Thanks for spreading the word! Bye for now! Peter Alsop’s Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Peter Alsop’s Substack at peteralsop.substack.com/subscribe

This true story was made into a song by an old friend, The Reverend Fred Small. He’s a wonderful singer-songwriter, performer; an activist and pastor dedicated to healing the earth, seeking justice, and tending our wounded spirits. His song’s about a therapist named Dan Murrow, who was fired for hugging his patients. He was convinced that hugging between consenting adults was therapeutically helpful, contrary to the hospital’s policy. The story made the papers in Boston back in the late ‘70’s. I actually met Dan Murrow at one of the National Conferences on the Healing Power of Laughter and Play. Of course, we hugged each other when we met. THE HUG Dan Murrow is a mighty friendly man C Big and round like a bear F-C And he hugs his friends and his friends hug him C–D7 Anytime, anywhere G-G7 When his patients would come for therapy C To drive their blues away F Sooner or later, they’d feel a lot better C-F ‘Cause this is what he’d say, G-G7 Cho: I want a hug when we say “Hello”, C I want a hug when it’s time to go, F I want a hug, ‘cause I want you to know G That I’m awfully fond of you! G7-C I want a hug, now if you please C I want a hug, I want to feel you squeeze F I want a hug, well it certainly seems G-G7 Like the natural thing to do! G7-C Now when the Head of the hospital heard about it He got all annoyed Because hugging is ‘sexual sublimation’ According to Dr. Freud! You can beat ‘em down, you can hide ‘em away, You can keep ‘em quiet with drugs You can strap ‘em and zap ‘em with electroshock But you better not give ‘em a hug! Chorus So the boss said “Dan, clear out your desk! Your conduct is lax and lewd. Any deviation from standard medical Practice can get us sued!” Now Dan don’t feel so bad for himself In fact, he’s kind of proud But he’s sorry for the folks who are locked away Where hugging ain’t allowed! Chorus Written by Fred Small, ©Copyright 1981, Pine Barrens Music (BMI) On Fan Club Favorites and Ebenezer’s Make Over (full length feature!) peteralsop.com Human feelings are often discounted in our places of work, our institutions, our churches, mosques and temples, our hospitals, schools and universities. Our society has a very limited understanding about the powerful part that our ‘feelings’ have, as they affect our own health and sense of wellness, which in turn, impact the health and the day-to-day functioning of our organizations. Many of us who work on recovery in our personal lives, regularly see positive changes in ourselves and our families when we pay attention to what’s going on for us in the feelings department. Unfortunately, trying to live up to the many expectations we face daily, can threaten our personal sobriety! We are asked to work harder and longer than is healthy. We’re asked to be dishonest, or at least to keep our mouths shut if we see something going on that may be unjust or unfair. We’re expected to triangulate; go around certain people who might not approve of what we’re doing, so we actually practice avoiding them. In order to be accepted, we find ourselves being manipulative or overly critical of others, and we ‘smoosh down’ our more sensitive selves and our caring feelings, so we ‘don’t get accused of ‘making waves’. People like Dan Murrow say, “If I must choose between working here and being healthy, I choose health.” But when we commit to making ‘healthy choices’, we’re often the ones who get replaced, canned, fired! When we draw a line, and stop enabling, accepting and ignoring other people’s unhealthy behaviors, we create problems for an organization, because when we do that, other people feel uncomfortable. They don’t want to change their old addictive behaviors and patterns. Dan Murrow got fired because some people in the organization were uncomfortable with his behavior. Guidelines about ‘not hugging’ our patients are set up because some people with authority learn that ‘touching’ is a very potent physical practice that instantly defines and delineates who has ‘power’ to touch another person in the organization without first asking permission. And they don’t want to give that up. Ellen Bass, the co-author of ‘The Courage To Heal’ suggests that there are many needy therapists who actually do ask for inappropriate hugs from their already vulnerable patients or clients. Many people have been physically or sexually abused by someone in a more powerful position. Therapists need to take care of our own hugging needs outside of our practice. I understand that Dr. Dan Murrow would always ask patients if they would like a hug before he’d hug someone. He was interested in working to break down some of the stigma associated with ‘caring touch’ as a therapeutic aid in a trusting relationship. For those of us who lived through the 60’s and 70’s, it’s clear that the practice of hugging others has moved light years beyond where we were back then. We have also gone through having Co-Vid run rampant in our midst. There’s been a whole lot less hugging since we learned that the virus is spread through the air and through touch. Even with our heightened awareness of how Co-Vid and other infectious diseases spread, we still see people with power who touch others physically in ways that clearly demonstrate the inequities that exist between the ‘touch-ers’ and the ‘touch-ees’. It was difficult for my Dad and the men in his generation to hug other men because of the stigma of homophobia, and not wanting to appear ‘gay’. I was in my twenties and in college, and I remember knowing my Dad was uncomfortable when I hugged him, especially in public. I sort of enjoyed his ‘discomfort’ while I was holding him. He’d pat my back and try to break away, but I wouldn’t let him go. I’d say, “Dad, … that was a very short hug. Were those ‘pats on my back’ your signal that the hug was over for you?” He’d laugh, and struggle, but of course, I still wouldn’t let him go. I’d start discussing things with him. “Dad, … do you think a hug should only last a required amount of time? Or are you having homophobic concerns that one or both of us might be gay? And why are you ‘the one’ who gets to determine when we stop hugging!” He’d try to pull away, still protesting that he wasn’t homophobic, … and he’d stop, and give me a big sloppy kiss, and we’d both have a good laugh. I notice young Dads today spend lots more time holding and hugging their kids than our parents did. It’s slow, but we’re definitely moving in the right direction! Thanks for stopping by. Please share any of my posts that might be helpful for someone you know. Peter Alsop’s Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Peter Alsop’s ‘SONGS TO CHEW’ audio podcasts! Thanks for reading Peter’s Substack! This post is public so feel free to share it. Thanks for reading Peter Alsop’s Substack! This post is public so feel free to share it. Click HERE to purchase Peter’s albums: cds-dvds-movies-and-songbooks To send me a comment, sign in as a Substack member by clicking the button above. It’s free, or you can always email me at [email protected]. I’d love to hear from you! You don’t have to be a ‘paid’ subscriber to get my posts. Everyone gets ‘em, … some folks send in money to support my work. In either case, glad you’re here! Thanks for spreading the word! Peter’s Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, please consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Peter Alsop’s Substack at peteralsop.substack.com/subscribe

I BELIEVE YOU When you tell me you are scared A-F#m I will listen ‘cause I care F#m-A I remember bein’ scared too Bm-F#m So when you tell me, I believe you E-A When you’re angry or you’re sad Even if you’re feeling bad I remember feelin’ bad too So when you tell me, I believe you Maybe I can help you with an idea D-C#m Maybe I know something that’ll make things clear Bm-A Maybe I won’t know what to do D-C#m But I can be a safe place, and I believe you E-A When I was a kid, I cried Had a secret deep inside But the grown-ups could not see I thought “Something must be wrong with me” (whistling instrumental) So when you tell me you are scared I will listen ‘cause I care I remember bein’ scared too So when you tell me, I believe you. When you tell me, I believe you. When you tell me, ... I believe you. Written by Peter Alsop, ©1992, Moose School Music (BMI) On Wake-Up! dvd, Chris Moose Holidays, and Songs On Recovery & Addiction www.peteralsop.com Did you know that feelings are contagious? When someone around us feels sad, do you ever notice that you kind of feel sad too? So, we say things like, “What’s wrong?” or “Don’t feel sad!” or “Let’s go get something to eat!”. We hope to distract them, or fix their problem or cheer them up. Our goal seems to be that we want to help them, … but often, it’s because we don’t want to feel sad ourselves! Many of us grew up in families and cultures where it wasn’t okay to show or express our painful feelings in any way, so now, when we feel angry, sad or scared, it also feels embarrassing, … like we’re doing something wrong! And to avoid that, we say things like: “Cheer up!” ~ “Don’t be scared!” ~ “It’s okay, … calm down!” ~ or as a last resort, “Oh c’mon! I don’t believe THAT!” It would be great, if the next time we feel sad, scared or angry, someone would come up to us and gently say, “Wow, … you look really sad, (or scared or angry). I feel really sad too sometimes. I’ll just sit here with you if you want.” And then they don’t try to cheer us up, or calm us down or tell us what to do or that they don’t believe us. People who can do that, are people who know how to create ‘a safe space’ for others. Illustration by Terri Asher I’ve learned that in order to be a ‘safe place’ for others, we need to have our own ‘healthy feelings vocabulary’. When we actually pay attention to our feelings and become familiar with our own sadness and fears and angers, then we can be around those upset ‘contagious’ feelings from others. Building a ‘healthy feelings vocabulary’ means we learn to manage our own painful feelings, so we don’t have to ‘stop’ others or ‘shut them down’ to avoid having our own feelings triggered. We know what our sadness, anger and fear feels like, so we don’t have to be afraid if they surface in response to our empathy with other people’s strong feelings. The hardest part of learning how to be a ‘safe place’ for me, was to just ‘be present and listen’. I always want to jump in and solve their problems, instead of helping them figure out what might be best for them to do. When I can be quiet and listen, and allow them to talk, it helps them figure out their own best ways to proceed. I know that when I’m frightened, sad or angry, and I tell someone else about my strong feelings, ... it doesn’t help much when they jump in and tell me what to do, or how to feel! All it does is convince me that I don’t want to tell them about my deep feelings anymore, because they just showed me that they aren’t really a very ‘safe person’ to tell! Thanks for stopping by. Please share any of my posts that might be helpful for someone you know. Peter Alsop’s SONGS TO CHEW Audio podcasts Thanks for reading Peter’s Substack! This post is public so feel free to share it. Thanks for reading Peter Alsop’s Substack! This post is public so feel free to share it. Click here to see All of Peter’s albums! To send me a comment, sign in as a Substack member by clicking the button above. It’s free, or you can always email me at [email protected]. I’d love to hear from you! You don’t have to be a ‘paid’ subscriber to get my posts. Everyone gets ‘em, … some folks send in money to support my work. In either case, glad you’re here! Thanks for spreading the word! Peter’s Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, please consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Peter Alsop’s Substack at peteralsop.substack.com/subscribe

LIFELINE You carried me, home in your arms G-C-D,G-C-D You loved me so much, and you kept me from harm You washed me and fed me, the years how they flew And now you need my help, and I’ll care for you! There’s a lifeline that ties me to you, Am-C-G Life rolls like a wheel through whatever we do Through all of the hard times and anger we feel G-D9-C-G The love that we have, well it helps us to heal, G-D9-Am-D Love’s a lifeline that pulls us all through! D-D7-G-C-D,G-C-D You’ve nowhere to go, and you don’t like to lean At the old people’s home, they’re packed in like sardines, So the baby can sleep in the crib one more year Put the kids in together, there’s room for you here! There’s a lifeline that ties me to you Overnight power runs out the holes in our shoes When the looking glass flips, there’s no wrong or right Do the best we can and hold hands in the fight Love’s a lifeline that pulls us all through! Most of the time now, you’re clear as a bell But the body you’re using’s not working so well And I know we get crazy when our patience is gone Hey, ain’t it amazing, how we hold on, To that lifeline that ties me to you Life rolls like a wheel through whatever we do Through all of the hard times and anger we feel The love that we have, well it helps us to heal Love’s a lifeline that pulls us all through! Love’s a lifeline that pulls us all through! Written by Peter Alsop, ©1983, Moose School Music (BMI) On Fan Club Favorites and Songs On Loss & Grief www.peteralsop.com Practicing the art of loving, ... can get us through some of the hardest times we have while we care for our parents. We all have losses to deal with in our lives, but older people often experience losses more frequently. Besides losing family members and friends who have died, there’s the loss of good health and vigor to deal with, ... and loss of time to accomplish dreams that were never realized. As our own children grow up and begin to go out into the world on their own, many of our parents or older relatives become needful of our help. We then face tough decisions about bringing them back into our own busy lives and home, perhaps acting as their principal caregiver. My grandmother actually did come to live with us, and it was both difficult and rewarding, as we learned how to get along with each other. In our culture older family members often live by themselves, or in a community of other older people, separate from the younger members of their own families. Many of us Americans grew up in our core nuclear family, without our grandparents in the same house. We didn’t get many real experiences or a clear understanding of how we will age ourselves later in our own lives. So, it was wonderful for my kids to have an older person in our immediate family home. My dear friend and teacher, Dr. Joseph Cruse talks about a ‘de-cathexis’, ... a letting go that happens within our families. As we children grow up, we need to let go of the expectations that our parents will continue to ‘parent’ us forever. They will always be our parents, but as we become adults and take our own power in the world, their ‘parenting’ behaviors need to transform into a more equal ‘friendship’ type of relationship between equal adults, without the power inequities that happen when children are little and parents are big. We can help to create a healthy balanced relationship with our own aging parents, when we are neither crutches nor burdens to each other. 1980 photo by Ellen Geer of Grandmother, Dad, me, Megan & Willow I hugged my grandmother often, but I realized one day, ... that it was the only touching that she received. As she depended on us more and more, I was reminded of how like a child she had become, and that little babies get a sense of themselves that is related to how, and how often other people touch them. So I started a program of fifteen-minute foot-rubs for my grandmother, and with her permission, I would turn on a recorder, massage her feet, and ask her pointed questions about her life and our family. We compiled quite an oral history, punctuated with little moans and comments about how good it felt to have some spot on her foot rubbed! She’s say, “Ooooh! That feels sooo good! Are you married?” I’d say“Grandmother! Cut that out!” I have it on tape. I know she enjoyed the foot-rubs, but she also enjoyed ‘being listened to’ and having someone take time with her, so she felt that she was loved and valued, even though she was unable to help much with the maintenance of our bustling, rushing around young family. It was fulfilling for both of us when she was able to pass on some of her life experiences to me, an interested younger relative. And I got to see some of the family patterns that had echoed down through the generations, and to understand that I was not just a man alone in the world, but also a link in the family chain. I had the privilege of working with Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross. She is best known for her work with patients with catastrophic illnesses who were dying. She would say that, “When we can’t increase the quantity of someone’s life, we can increase the quality of it.” She told me about one patient she was working with, and Elisabeth came into her room and said, “Is there anything I can do for you today?” And the patient said, “Yes Elisabeth, there is.” And Elisabeth said “Oh! What?” And the woman said, “Go away!” Elisabeth said she went out in the other room, and she felt crushed. She had only wanted to ‘help’ this person. And she said, “Wait a minute! What’s going on here? I asked, and this woman gave me a perfectly ‘okay’ request. Why am I feeling so upset!?” And she thought for a moment and said, “I think I just learned that when I have hurt feelings like this, a little red flag goes up and says to me, ‘Elisabeth, you have some unfinished business to take care of! This person just helped you see that it’s in this area, and you need to take a look at it!” Like Elisabeth, I think there are lots of those little red flags that come up for us, … especially working in human services, or actually just working with other people who we want to help. Knowing what’s ‘my stuff’, and what’s ‘their stuff’, … is very helpful and important. Those little red flags come up all the time in our relationships, and that’s where our commitment to self-growth comes in. It helps when we are aware of the opportunities those flags provide for us, so we can say, “I’m gonna take a look at what’s going on here! Even if I have to wait until later today, I want to figure out what’s going on inside of me, because when I do, … I’m better able to be more clear with the people I’m trying to help. I can’t teach what I don’t know!” Thanks for stopping by. Please share any of my posts that might be helpful to someone you know. Peter Alsop’s SONGS TO CHEW Audio podcasts Thanks for reading Peter Alsop’s Substack! This post is public so feel free to share it. Click here to see All of Peter’s albums! To send me a comment, you can sign in as a Substack member by clicking the button above. It’s free, but you can always email me at [email protected]. I’d love to hear from you! You don’t have to be a ‘paid’ subscriber to get my posts. Everyone gets ‘em, … some folks send in money to support my work. In either case, glad you’re here! Thanks for spreading the word! Peter’s Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, please consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Peter Alsop’s Substack at peteralsop.substack.com/subscribe

While we think we’re just watching, we’re also being shaped by the stories and images we see. We watch how others live their lives and we see the values they hold. Our brains notice everything, even if we’re not paying much attention, and we compare what we do, with what ‘they’ do. Here’s a live concert video from 1990 when Pete Seeger invited me to join him on stage at the Theatricum Botanicum in Topanga. YOU GET A LITTLE EXTRA WHEN YOU WATCH TV. Cho: You get a little extra when you watch TV C Ain’t that ducky! Well you’re lucky if you see, that G7 You get a little extra when you watch TV! C-G7-C You sit too close and you get a big surprise Lots of radiation in your body and your eyes Your eardrums hum when someone turns it up too high, When you watch TV! We learn lots about our bodies and our aches and pains, Headaches, hemorrhoids, heartburn, diarrhea, denture stains Gotta buy more drugs t’stop your stresses and your strains When you watch TV ! Chorus When someone in an advertisement tells me lies I jump up and switch the channels, so I get some exercise And my body’s getting healthy and my mind is getting wise When I watch TV! Daddies only love the Mommies when the dirt’s all gone From their shirts and shiny floors, the coffee has t’be right on, I’m so glad my Dad’s not fussy, cause he’d leave my Mom, If he watched TV! Chorus In real life it never works when people go And hit and kick and punch and smash each other’s heads and toes But it always solves the problems on the cartoon shows When you watch TV! Last night on the highway when our car got stalled We saw a bloody accident with bodies that were mauled Though my folks got sick, it didn’t bother me at all. Cause I watch TV! Chorus Now you may think that I am lazy, don’t you call me names I’ve learned important skills from playing video games If a spaceship should attack us I could shoot ‘em down in flames, Cause I watch TV! And a big TV can really give you quite a rest If you get one near your bed, you’ve got no reason to get dressed You never have to talk to anyone, your life is a success When you watch TV! Chorus Written by Peter Alsop, ©1983, Moose School Music (BMI) On Wha’D’Ya Wanna Do?, Songs On Recovery & Addiction, & Pie In The Sky https://www.peteralsop.com (Illustration by @TerriAsher) I wrote this song in 1983 about all the little hidden messages we get when watching television. It’s helped thousands of kids and families build awareness about how we are subtly influenced every day through our ‘media screens’. I think it’s even more relevant now than it was back then, because when we go into our ‘screen-time focus’, we check out of our ‘real-time awareness’, and we miss many of the interactions we could be having with real people and real things that are actually right there in front of us. Our ‘real time’ life-minutes tick by without us picking up on the nuances of the world around us. And, of course most of us have our own portable private screens now! When screen time becomes ‘normal’, we don’t even question that maybe we’re getting unhealthy radiation from our device. Everyone else is doing it! If taking a pill is the ‘normal’ way we stop our pain, we may embrace the message, that everything problematic in our live can be ‘fixed’ with some elusive simple answer. If I believe that I’m getting sufficient exercise simply by getting up to change channels, (although everyone nowadays has remote channel changers!), I’m unlikely to put the ‘screen’ away and go outside for a walk or a jog. You get the point. It’s very human and normal to focus on our entertainment or on how many ‘friends’ we have listed on the internet, but as we become more aware of the powerful, subtle, nowadays dishonest and manipulative cultural messages we are exposed to, … the less likely it is that we will believe those stories and take them to heart. We will tell ourselves more uplifting, hopeful stories about how we can support each other in our communities and our work places, and find courage to speak truth to power when we need to do that. That’s how we can build a better future that leaves space for love and kind-hearted caring, for ourselves, others and for all life on our planet. Thanks for stopping by, … I’m Peter Alsop. Please share any of my posts that might be helpful to someone you know. Peter Alsop’s SONGS TO CHEW Audio podcasts Thanks for reading Peter Alsop’s Substack! This post is public so feel free to share it. Click here to see All of Peter’s albums! To send me a comment, you can sign in as a Substack member by clicking the button above. It’s free, but you can always email me at [email protected]. I’d love to hear from you! You don’t have to be a ‘paid’ subscriber to get my posts. Everyone gets ‘em, … some folks send in money to support my work. In either case, glad you’re here! Thanks for spreading the word! Peter Alsop’s Substack is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. Get full access to Peter Alsop’s Substack at peteralsop.substack.com/subscribe

It’s the end of October again, and I’ve noticed scatterings of children test-driving their Halloween costumes in the super-market aisles, making sure they work! Hidden inside their new identity, they are no longer just a ‘child-in-a-supermarket’! They’ve been transformed by their costume and they want to be sure that they’re all set for the big night. It’s delicious fun to become someone or something else, isn’t it?! Costumes enable us to explore completely different realms than those we ordinarily inhabit. COSTUME PARTY Cho:It’s a costume party, and everyone is here! D-A7, D-A7-D It’s a costume party, and everyone is here! D-A7, D-A7-D You wear a blue dress, you, red sneakers A7-D You wear a suit and tie A7-D You wear flowers, you wear stripes A7-D You put make-up on your eyes! E-A7 Chorus You wear brown skin, you wear white Your head is clean and bare You poked holes through your earlobes You’ve got a wart, I bet, somewhere! Or maybe you dye your hair!? Chorus We may be blind, or we wear glasses We st-stutter when we talk Sometimes our ears just do not hear Or we use wheels when we walk! Chorus Our disguises could win prizes Each one’s qualified But the only thing that really matters Is who we are inside! Chorus (2x) Written by Peter Alsop, ©1987 Moose School Music (BMI) On Pluggin’ Away & Costume Party DVD https://www.peteralsop.com We all wear costumes. Every day, the clothing we put on is essentially our costume for the day. And when we wear different costumes, we get to see the world through different glasses, which is great! We learn so much by exploring other diverse ways to go through our lives. We build new skills and stories for ourselves when we’re exposed to new and different ideas from simply rubbing shoulders with others who are not like us. It’s true that most of what we learn comes from people around us, and the people with whom we are most familiar are, … our own families! But some of the family lessons we absorb can be very difficult to ‘change’ later on. As we get older, we discover that we need to shed some of the beliefs and behaviors we grew up with, ... in order to continue to grow. Our costumes provide us with an ‘outward appearance’ that might not fit us exactly, but that’s okay, because we need to ‘try on new things’ to see how they fit us. It’s interesting to see how our ‘costumes’ affect other people, and how they respond to what they see. The very same ‘costume’ can generate a bunch of different responses from different people. Have you noticed that when we see someone who is ‘unfamiliar’ or different than we are, most of us are very ‘curious’ about this ‘new’ person. Some of us become extra cautious, and even suspicious or fearful of other folks who look strange to us. I’m mostly curious about people who look different than I do. I have friends who pay close attention to how others look, and some of those friends constantly worry about themselves, wondering if they ‘fit in’ or are ‘approved of’ by others. They seem preoccupied with making sure that they don’t stand out as ‘different’. I have other friends who seem to feel ashamed of their appearance. They kind of hide themselves, and try to stay out of the limelight. It’s easy to forget that beneath our elaborate costumes and disguises, our covers and masks, that all of us humans feel very similar feelings; happy, sad, scared and angry. These are where we connect. These are what we have in common and where we share our vulnerabilities. And when we understand this, our external costumes become fascinating and delicious, and a cause more for curiosity than fear. Some costume features we get to choose, like our clothing, hairdo, hats, make-up or earrings. Others factors of our appearance, we’re born with, or we acquire as we live; such as our skin, scars, our hair color, our gender, our baldness, our age or any of our other visible physical differences. We usually feel more comfortable being in a group of people who look like us because we feel familiar with them. We all need to feel like we belong, so gathering ourselves into these homogeneous groups is usually fine, unless we begin to avoid other groups of people who ‘don’t look like us’. Because when we spend time with people who are different than we are, we get to know them, and our nervousness about their differences drops away, and it becomes easier for us to notice and appreciate our similarities. For those of us whose family of origin, our ‘birth family’, didn’t feel like a safe place, our fear of being rejected may be a big part of how we costume ourselves as we relate to others. I learned that we can actually choose to make our own safe place by asking some of the friends we hang with, who feel comfortable and who support us to be part of our own ‘family of choice’! Overcoming our own fear of rejection is necessary for us to break out of our isolation and start new friendships. That’s why having a Costume Party is a good idea. Especially as we learn how to be a ‘safe place’ for others, where we don’t immediately judge them. When we feel like we are in a safe place, we can all reveal ourselves to each other, instead of trying to strip away each other’s masks! Thanks for stopping by, … I’m Peter Alsop. Please share any of my posts that might be helpful to someone you know. Peter Alsop’s SONGS TO CHEW Audio podcasts Thanks for reading Peter Alsop’s Substack! This post is public so feel free to share it. Click here to see All of Peter’s albums! To send me a comment, you can sign in as a Substack member by clicking the button above. 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