
Advertise on podcast: Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't
Rating
4.8from
This podcast has
297 episodes
Language
EnglishPublisher
Tony SantoreExplicit
No
Date created
2019/04/03
Latest episode
2026/10/04
Average duration
102 min.
Release period
13 days
Description
Why do some plants grow where they do? How can geology cause new plant species to evolve? Why are some plants pollinated by flies, some by bats, some by birds, and others by bees? How does a plant evolve to look like a rock? How can destroying lawns soothe the soul? This is a show about plants and plant habitat through the lens of natural selection and ecology, with a side of neurotic ranting, light humor, occasional profanity, & the perpetual search for the filthiest taqueria bathroom.
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Podcast episodes
Check latest episodes from Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't podcast
Bolivia Rants
2026/10/04
2 hours of rants - recorded from a filthy motel room in Miami, Florida during an intermittend layover - about the route from Santa Cruz dela Sierra, Bolivia West into the dry Inter-Andean Valleys and up to the Altiplano, and the many plants encountered along the way :
Onoseris acerifolia,
Deuterocohnia meziana,
Neoraimondia herzogiana,
Schinus mollis,
Puya glomerata,
Schinopsis lorentzii,
Cereus hankeanus,
Harrisia tetracantha,
Blossfeldia liliputana,
Puya humilis,
Trichocereus tunariensis,
Trichocereus bridgesii,
Zanthoxylum coco,
Koeberlinia holacantha, and more.
Nonhuman Teachers presents Joey Santore - _Kicked Outta the Botanic Garden_
2026/10/01
Originally recorded June of 2026 in Los Angeles California.
Paleobotanical Origins of The Reflecting Pool Disaster
2026/09/16
In this episode we talk with Chuck Delwiche about the early evolution of land plants, photosynthetic bacteria, what Earth may have looked like 4 billion years ago, what some of the first land plants look like, why bioluminescent dinoflagellates (Pyrocystis) "light up", and the species of algae responsible for the reflecting pool disaster that nearly have the president an aneurysm over the summer.
Chuck Delwiche is a professor of biology at University of Maryland who studies green algae, archaea, and the early evolution of plants.
Reflecting Pool Video
https://youtu.be/z3rExfzXYSw?is=RRys648nwoEze0dX
Corruption, Cronyism, & Destroying a National Park
2026/08/31
Laiken Jordahl is the national public lands advocate for the center for biological diversity. In this episode he tells us about the destruction of Big bend National Park for a pointless and unnecessary border wall and what efforts have been made to stop it.
Taos & Denver Rants
2026/08/25
Rants about Taos, Garden Design in the sba to j aisle, how to tell if a plant has massive tuberous roots, Peteria scoparia, a new species of Paronychia leucochthonicola, Texas Madrone in Denver, US intervention in Latin America, and more.
Tennessee Oak Savanna Rants
2026/08/05
Ad-free episodes of the podcast are available on the crime pays but botany doesn't patreon. A reminder to any complaining jadrools : I don't choose the ads. Your own algorithm does. Thank your corporate overlords.
This episode contains rants about Tennessee Oak Savannas, suburban Chicago fire ecology, granite balds in South Carolina and Georgia, the close ties between shame, status and native plants in South Texas-Mexican American communities, a hopeful city council meeting about a native plant ordinance, and more.
June in Ft. Worth Rants
2026/07/03
Episodes of the Crime Pays Podcast are available Ad-Free on the Patreon at www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt
Rants about the Extinction of the Ft. Worth Prairie, the rediscovery of Dalea sabinalis, plants with huge taproots, dry limestone plants, idiotic development, getting fleeced and ripped off in Costa Rica, fleabag motels, the Bowel Movement Supermarket, reminiscing about riding freight trains to Ft. Madison Iowa for the $5 cinema, and more
Interstate 8 Tour Rants
2026/06/10
Episodes of the Crime Pays Podcast are available Ad-Free on the Patreon at www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt
In this episode we rant about all night drives through the desert, meth-amphetamine and Del Taco Management, Phoenix Horticultural Atrocities, the "Kicked Outta Da Botanic Garden" Tour, plumbing leaks, Brad Lancaster's work in the Dunbar Spring Neighborhood of Tucson, and more.
North Carolina Rants (NSFW)
2026/05/25
(NSFW) Rants about Dr Phil, Fire Ecology, Carnivorous Plants, the Piedmont Forests of North Carolina, Sandhills, Coastal Plain Longleaf Pine Savannas and more...
All Episodes of the Crime Pays Podcast are available Ad-Free on the Patreon at www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt
Culture and Plants in Nuevo León, Mexico : Carlos "Aztekium" Velasco
2026/05/14
Episodes of the Crime Pays Podcast are available Ad-Free on the Patreon at www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt
Carlos "Aztekium" Velasco is a biologist, educator, and naturalist in Nuevo León, Mexico who has been teaching and studying the region's botany for 30+ years. He has written a guidebook to the plants of Nuevo León and helped describe new species such as Astrophytum caput-medusae.
In this episode we talk about the endemic plants of the Sierra Madre, the habitat of Huasteca Canyon, the urban river known as Rio Santa Catarina and its potential as native plant habitat, Ethnobotany of Mexican Plants, a growing appreciation of native plants in Northern Mexican culture, why the North lost so much of its Ethnobotany compared to the South, and more.
Oakland Bio - Saumitra Kelkar
2026/05/08
Saumitra Kelkar is a biologist and public educator In Oakland, California. This episode we talk about getting kids into nature, Bay area plant habitats, human selection of native plants and native plant cultivars, remnant edible wild gardens created by indigenous people, human-plant mutualisms, illegal gardening and more.
Ad-Free Episodes of the Crime Pays Podcast are available on the Patreon at www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt
Dirty Backyard Biology with Damon Tighe
2026/05/05
In this episode we talk about the dead fly fungus, fertilizing Trichocereus with piss, how to get a good compost heap running, the science of backyard microbes, human manure composting, cultivating oyster mushrooms, trying to find out what mycorrhizal fungus associates with Texas Madrones, and more.
Follow Damon Tighe on IG at @damontighe
Ad-Free Episodes of the Crime Pays Podcast are available on the Patreon at www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt
Nuevo Leon & Borderlands Rants
2026/05/04
Rants about Mexican Cops, finding Arroyo Sweetwood in the wild, refugial canyons of the Sierra Madre that feel like humid forests in Georgia, and more .
Ad-Free Episodes of the Crime Pays Podcast are available on the patreon at ww.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt
Rafflesia Rants
2026/04/17
Ad-Free episodes of the Crime Pays But Botany Doesnt podcast are available on the Patreon at:
www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt
Rants about the Philippines, street trees of Manila, the jade vine Stronglyodon macrobotrys, the parasitic plant genus Rafflesia and its host Tetrastigma (Vitaceae), understory forest palms, old world lineages of aroids, and more.
Philippine Rants
2026/04/06
Episodes of the Crime Pays Podcast are available Ad-Free on the Patreon at www.patreon.com/crimepaysbutbotanydoesnt
In this episode we talk Philippines Botany with Jayson Mansibang and Johnny Altomonte from Philippine Taxonomic Initiative. We talk about biogeography, Nepenthes, diversity in the genus Ficus, Dacrydium, Begonias, Dipterocarpaceae and the genus Shorea, describing new species, ultramafic areas of the Philippines, how a childhood filled with dinosaurs got us into botany, and more.
Podcast reviews
Read Crime Pays But Botany Doesn't podcast reviews
Jonny Gizmo 2026/08/26
Great show!
So in your most recent episode, you were complaining about landscape designers. I try to hire a native plant landscape designer years ago and I ended ...
Piercefly 2026/07/21
Favorite podcast of all time!
Everything about this show is great. Joey has renewed my hope for humanity. You think you are the only isolated misanthrope with an intense love of na...
archie1I 2026/06/27
Too many ads and it doesn’t match his “values”
Sad. I thought Tony could be more selective in the businesses he wants to be associated with. Way too many ads, it’s ridiculous.
Fionn MacCumhaill 2026/05/12
Serious ads issue
The ads on this play at about 3x the volume of the regular podcast. And they come out of nowhere. The talking gets interrupted, mid-sentence, with n...
loriji 2026/03/01
Great podcast
Love your podcast! The episode with Lynn Clark about bamboo was the best episode! Really exciting and far-ranging discussion.
laplaps 2025/11/15
Awesome collab
I was just really lit up to hear you and black forager chop it up. I am just awed and humbled how you are both using this digital space in a whole he...
montanacat 2025/11/07
Love it
I’ve been listening for ten minutes and I’m already in love. Thanks for making my bad day so much better 💚
Glastonbury Grove 2025/09/26
Plants & Rocks are better than Strip Malls
Joey’s enthusiasm is contagious and inspires learning. I love his teachings and rants alike. Keep it up!
speediereedie 2025/09/19
Fantastic
Tip: join his patreon for $5 a month to listen to podcasts ad free.
The only podcast I listen to these days, Joey is a breath of fresh air, taking t...
MKULTRA83 2025/03/18
Great
Great host, guests, topics, keep it up.
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