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Well....if I didn't predict my own fate by making light of these contestants obvious lack of employment.  But my job less is your joy gain because there's literally no excuse for me to miss episodes.  Like my contestants, "I'm taking some me time." As such, I'm giving you what you want.  Hard hitting, live action, play coverage of the world's most disappointing cooking show: Chopped. Listening highlights: a michael jackson nose prophecies of unemployment somebody's fetish when dwayne "the rock" johnson was just "the rock" I hope you understand my hand gesture references my sad bowls what they can do with food nowadays reuben's self esteem issues --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/chapped/message

Well what terrible timing to fall off a regular schedule with releasing this program - someone shared the show and I got hundreds of unique IP addresses streaming this hot, intense action in one day.  Then life happened and I shit everywhere and missed April.  But that's neither here nor there as today we talk tacos and as usual - are let down and turned off by what we take in. Hot topics: what the internet can do stems on ram-a-jammin it when is a good time for Josh to roll play as a warlock? a glaring continuity error what my listeners expect a perfect description of baby corn different ways to self soothe put that f*****g finger away nothing funny only the real deal Someone took notes during the editing phase...didn't she.... --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/chapped/message

Your best friend is back.  Your best friend is taking you gambling.  Craving a weekend in Vegas?  Well how about an episode of Chapped centered around some nasty ingredients and a few contestants obvious gambling addictions in this "Casino Royale" themed episode. Listening highlights: Long wieners The additive properties of the color wheel My cat's poo Bottom thirds Don't get me wrong But my nut cheese! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/chapped/message

Welcome to the  New Year.  Or, if you are a like us, welcome to the beginning of the end of the lunar year.  Just like the old gypsy foretold, today is a day where we take it back to our roots.  The original Chopped kitchen, regular s****y cooking and the usual crew loaded up with Botox. Some crucial show highlights:  Rony's many special gifts. Disrespect served up on a plate. Undressed arugula. How wrong I was. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/chapped/message

What did you want?  Did you want DOGS?  Well, you got them with this fun episode of Chopped where there are cooking food for a dog.  They also have to make human food but not surprisingly, the dog and his enjoyment takes the cake (no culinary pun intended). Highlights: Surface piercings My light and my bushel Amanda's jacket Chris' dog's dick --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/chapped/message

Trigger warning: this is an episode.  Also, I chose to go rogue and not duck the volume of my reactions because I wanted you to know it is real.  There are some very serious issues discussed this week.  Issues like: Nico's beauty but also his receding hairline. Mr. Peanut from the front 3D puzzle War --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/chapped/message

Wow, it's like opening up a diary and seeing that I've been in a coma for 2 months. But instead of a coma, I was living the American dream dumping my unemployment money into a new business.   But enough about me, let's talk about you.  Let's talk about this action set in a big rustic warehouse with a hook for a hand judge and some gold nails that make you say what? Sizzling topics: When the beat it so sick I'm a comic A mix and match of timelines A broken promise --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/chapped/message

What a great way to resurrect from the dead but with an surprisingly lively episode.  Warning - I do have a new cat and feel free to jump ahead a full 2  minutes when you hear me answer "The Call." Highlights: Michelle's face Michelle's lips 90's DJ's  Prayer beads --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/chapped/message

AUDIO WARNING:  THE HOST IS REALLY INTO THIS EPISODE AND IT GETS LOUD AND ROWDY. If you are listening in headphone, be forewarned the surprises are abundant and worthy of each exclamation. Hot Pockets: -It's still Marc and Marc -Double ball sheen -The turtles are back -Fedoras --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/chapped/message

Never has a truer statement been said - "And we're back." It's been a minute.  I took some time to mourn the passing of my dear baby cat boy Mr. Jackson.   Now that I'm back, Martha Stewart is our host, I guess. Listening highlights: -It's another Marc V. Marc -Mama Martha -Round Bread -2 minutes of moderate feedback between 15:30 and 17 --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/chapped/message

Is this a Worst Foot Forward Products crossover?  Because we are inventing some revolutionary shit here today! Hightlights: Invention Curtains America's Cutest Chef Tears --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/chapped/message

Greatest of All Time?   No.  This time GOAT stands for the animal, for whom we have no famous association besides a symbol of hell.  So, if you know of any famous goats, please let us know.   Get your hand turtles out, because we are gunna have a smashing good time. Listening highlights: Scooby Doo Lentils and their worth compared to a life Pee Pee Pipeline My Cousin Dominic --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/chapped/message