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The Way You Show Up

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Rating
★★★★★
4.9
from
410 reviews
This podcast has
291 episodes
Language
English
Explicit
No
Date created
2020/04/24
Latest episode
2026/10/22
Average duration
35 min.
Release period
8 days

Description

Most people are living a version of themselves that they never choose.You've been showing up for your spouse, your kids, and your career—but you've been doing it on autopilot. You're living within a ceiling built by your past and sustained by your habits.I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended.The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine."We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health.If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here.New episodes every Tuesday.Don't just exist. Show up.

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The Problem With Manifesting Your Dream Life
2026/10/22
Nobody can manifest their way to a million dollars. But a lot of people are selling the course anyway. Think about it. Promise someone money and they’ll buy. Promise fame and they’ll buy. Promise a bigger following and they’ll buy. It is the easiest thing in the world to sell. I used to follow a woman who sold a manifestation course. Called herself a Christian. And her biggest win of the year was that the year she divorced her husband was the year she made the most money. At what cost? In this video, I’m getting honest about the pull every one of us feels. More success. More followers. More money. I feel it too. I run a company. I have a channel. Of course I want it to grow. But I’ve watched creators hit a million subscribers by telling people to leave their marriages. And the comments prove it works. You can gain the whole world and lose your soul. I’ll tell you the story of how God called my husband and me to adopt, why I know that wasn’t manifestation, and what the prophets teach us about chasing a vision that was never about getting rich. I don’t have all the answers. These are just my musings. But before you spend $49 to manifest your future, it’s worth asking what it’s doing to your soul. I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended. The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine." We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health. If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here. New episodes every Thursday. Don't just exist. Show up. 🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com 🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes
Are We Giving Up On Relationships Too Easily?
2026/10/15
Stop labeling people. Narcissist. Toxic. Gaslighter. Whatever the new pop psychology word is this week. I found a channel over the weekend. Christian branding. Millions of views. The whole message was the same: if your relationship is hard, it’s the other person. Cut them out. God will judge them. That’s not what scripture says. Micah 6:8 is simple. Act justly. Love mercy. Walk humbly with your God. Simple. Not easy. It’s easier to diagnose someone than to have the hard conversation. It’s easier to hold a grudge than to ask for forgiveness. It’s easier to cut people off than to look at what you did. But easy is a lie. The easy way out leaves you lonelier, angrier, and more walled off than before. I know this because I lived it. Twenty years of bitterness toward one person. Every right to feel it. And a couple of years ago, I finally forgave. Not because they earned it. Because carrying it was killing me. In this video, I break down why the “cut them out” message is spreading so fast, what narcissism actually is from a psychological standpoint, and what to do instead when a relationship that matters to you gets hard. Some relationships aren’t healthy. Some need distance. That’s real. But the mindset matters. Us versus them will poison everything it touches. There’s a better way. It’s narrow. It’s hard. And it’s the only one that actually works. I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended. The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine." We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health. If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here. New episodes every Thursday. Don't just exist. Show up. 🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com 🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes
How Do I Prove To My Spouse That I've Changed?
2026/10/01
Take the Free LovePath™ Roadmap Assessment: https://bit.ly/4ylcru9 How do you prove to your spouse that you’ve really changed? It’s one thing to say you’re different. It’s another thing for your spouse to actually believe that the change is real, especially when there have been years of hurt, broken trust, or patterns that keep resurfacing. In this episode, I’m taking live calls from people facing difficult situations in their marriages and their lives. One caller has been separated from his wife for eight months and is now facing divorce. He believes he’s made significant changes in how he handles his anger, but his wife still isn’t convinced. So what does she actually need to see from him? And how can he begin rebuilding a sense of safety without constantly trying to convince her to save the marriage? I also talk with a woman whose struggle with holding onto years of papers and belongings is keeping her from moving forward with her husband, and we break down how to make progress when you know what you need to do but still struggle to do it. Then, I talk with a woman whose husband left during an affair. Now the affair may be over, his behavior toward her has started to change, and she’s wondering whether it’s time to tell him again that she still loves him, forgives him, and wants their marriage to work. I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended. The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine." We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health. If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here. New episodes every Thursday. Don't just exist. Show up. 🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com 🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes
His Wife Left Him For A Family Member... Now What?
2026/09/24
FREE MINI-COURSE: The First 72 Hours After a Marriage Crisis https://bit.ly/4AzMPvm When your marriage is falling apart, you want answers. Why is this happening? What did I do? Can this still be saved? In this episode, I take live calls from people asking exactly those questions. Michael's wife filed for divorce and moved another man into their house. He's praying every day and doesn't know what else to do. My answer? Stop focusing on her. Focus on you. Be strong, calm, and gentle. And if you have to fight the divorce, fight it because you love her, not because you want to punish her. Jessica's husband wants a separation, and the reasons he's giving don't add up. So how do you get to the real one? You ask again. You don't get defensive. And you understand that the way you start that conversation decides how it ends. Stan wants to know if an affair can change someone's attachment style. Short answer: yes. The better news? It can change back. But only through repair. Three different stories. Same patterns. You'll probably hear yours in at least one of them. If your spouse just said "I love you, but I'm not in love with you," or "I want a divorce," start with the free mini-course at the top of this description. It doesn't matter if that happened three days ago or three years ago. The principles still apply. Until next week, stay strong. I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended. The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine." We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health. If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here. New episodes every Thursday. Don't just exist. Show up. 🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com 🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes
Follow This If Your Spouse Is In An Affair
2026/09/17
For the first time on the show, I took your calls live. No scripts. No prep. Just real people in real crises telling me what's happening in their marriage and asking me what to do next. Bhavesh in London caught his wife with a coworker, and now she's filed for divorce and put a restraining order on him. He's done everything she ever asked him to do, and she treats him like he's dead. He wants to know if he should give up. Cindy in North Carolina had an emotional affair three years ago. Her husband says he'll leave the day their youngest turns 18. She's trying to work on herself, but she can't stop watching him. She wants to know how to take her eyes off him and put them back on her. Tommy in Oklahoma was married 28 years when his wife walked out with no explanation. Now she's living with another woman, and the only time they talk is in a courtroom. He wants to know how to get her home. If you're in any of these situations, one of these calls is going to sound a lot like your life. Listen for what I tell them. Then do it. I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended. The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine." We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health. If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here. New episodes every Thursday. Don't just exist. Show up. 🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com 🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes
How To Stop Fighting With Your Spouse So Much
2026/09/10
Click here to submit your questions to be on the show! https://bit.ly/3Tv4287 Eight towels. Two blankets. Zero Amazon gift cards. That's what my husband came home with after I asked him to do one thing. So here's my question for you: how would you have responded in that moment? Most people go one of three ways. Laugh it off. Snap and say "I asked you to do ONE thing." Or start diagnosing your spouse with weaponized incompetence and building a whole story around it. I would have picked the middle one four years into my marriage. Not anymore. Because one fight about towels won't end a marriage. It's the rupture that happens over and over and never gets repaired. That's what breaks people apart. In this episode I walk through what I actually did instead, and why "if you don't have anything nice to say" might be the most underrated marriage advice in the South. Then we get into Solving Marriage Mysteries. A woman whose husband just filed for divorce while they're still living in the same house with five kids, and she can't figure out how to stay calm. A man standing for his wife who is deep in limerence and just went through an abortion, asking if there's any hope left. And a wife whose husband wants a separation while they're having the best sex of their marriage, wondering if she's about to be used. Those answers are honest. Some of them are hard. After that we open Luke 9:23 through 26 in Study Scripture With Me. The disciples had a very specific expectation of who the Messiah was supposed to be. Jesus was about to disappoint every bit of it. And what he offered instead was better than anything they had imagined. Deny yourself. Take up your cross daily. Follow me. That's not a group assignment. In the original Greek it's personal. Singular. Yours. I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended. The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine." We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health. If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here. New episodes every Thursday. Don't just exist. Show up. 🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com 🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes
I Knew I Should've Kept My Mouth Shut...
2026/09/03
Resources Mentioned 👀 The 24 Hour Repair Clock: https://bit.ly/4iaXPIF Click here to submit questions: https://bit.ly/3Tv4287 I knew I shouldn't have done it. I did it anyway. Twice in one day. First I blew out my knee doing double unders I had no business doing. Then I blew up a conversation with my husband over something I should have let go. Fourteen years of teaching this stuff. And I still said the sassy thing. Then I said the second sassy thing, the one that turned a fine moment into a fight. Here's what I want you to hear. We didn't fix it before bed. We fixed it the next day, on my drive home from the gym, hobbling instead of running. That's the point. The goal was never perfection. The goal is knowing when to repair. Every marriage tears. Like a meniscus. What separates the couples who make it isn't that they stop tearing. It's that they notice fast and repair fast, over and over, for years. In this episode: Why I pushed when I knew better, and what a push actually looks like in real time. Solving Marriage Mysteries with three questions from around the world. New Zealand asks whether no contact or contact with pushes does more damage. The Philippines asks how to handle an in-house separation when your husband is emotionally involved with someone else. Perth asks how to work on your PIES when a chronic illness limits what your body can do. Study Scripture With Me on Matthew 6:19-21. Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. And what that has to do with how you spend your days. Then the Hot Seat, where I blind-rank ten things people say to their spouse from bad to worst. I got stumped early. Stay strong. I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended. The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine." We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health. If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here. New episodes every Thursday. Don't just exist. Show up. 🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com 🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes
I don't even know who I am anymore...
2026/08/27
Resources Mentioned In This Episode: Follow Lucas LeFevre on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lucasplefevre/ Sign up for the Solo Spouse Masterclass: https://bit.ly/3SD36yn Submit your questions here! https://bit.ly/3Tv4287 "I don't even know who I am anymore." I heard it over and over in a coaching lab a few weeks ago, and it broke my heart. Different people. Different stories. Same sentence. You didn't lose yourself overnight. You gave yourself away one yes at a time. To a marriage. To a family. To a career. To everyone who told you who you were supposed to be. And then one morning you woke up and couldn't find yourself anywhere in it. I've been there. A few years ago I took a four month sabbatical. Deleted the email apps. Deleted Slack. Stopped working entirely. And the first thing I felt wasn't peace. It was terror. Because my biggest fear was that everything would be fine without me. Then my pastor asked a question that wrecked me: Who were you before the world told you different? In this episode I share what happened when I actually sat with that question. The 10 minute journaling practice that broke it open. The thought that broke through. The book that changed everything. And the vision God gave me that I never would have found if I hadn't stopped. If you feel lost right now, this one's for you. Also in this episode: Solving Marriage Mysteries. Three of your questions answered. Is 16 months too long to save a marriage. What to do when your spouse says he's done but still says he loves you. And what a husband should do when he finally wakes up and she's already checked out. Study Scripture With Me. John 3:25-30. John the Baptist knew exactly who he was and exactly who he wasn't, and his joy was complete either way. Unpopular Opinions. Why life isn't about being happy. Why physical attraction has almost nothing to do with how you look. And why almost no one is a narcissist and everyone is a narcissist. Ask and it will be given to you. Seek and you will find. Knock and the door will be opened. Be persistent. God is a Father who gives good gifts. Comment below and tell me what you want to see more of on this show. I read every single one. Share this with someone who needs it. Until next week, stay strong. I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended. The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine." We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health. If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here. New episodes every Thursday. Don't just exist. Show up. 🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com 🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes
Why You're Not Healing EMOTIONALLY
2026/08/20
Referenced in this episode: Episode on Feedback: https://youtu.be/NnAZXA32dqc Click Here to Submit Your Questions: https://bit.ly/3Tv4287 You have emotional wounds you can't trace. You don't know where they came from. You just know something hurts every time life bends the wrong way. I scraped my knee in a hotel gym in Taiwan and had no idea how I did it. But for days after, every squat, every step, I felt it. That's exactly how emotional wounds work. Here's what most people miss. Your body forms a scab for a reason. It protects the wound so the skin underneath can heal. Rip it off, and you don't heal faster. You scar. Most of us are ripping ours off constantly. Every time we feel angry. Every time we get defensive. Every time we let one person's comment define who we are. In this episode, I walk through the four stages of healing an emotional wound. Protection. Repair. Clearing. Drop off. Protection is your feelings signaling that something needs care. Repair is the hard work most people skip. Clearing is getting the voices out of your head that never should have been let in. Drop off is what happens when you finally heal instead of scar. I also share the moment someone told me I didn't have what it takes to do this work, and what my dad said that changed how I heard it. Then we get into Solving Marriage Mysteries, where I answer three of your questions, including whether there's still hope when your spouse is convinced you're toxic and why Marriage Helper isn't counseling. Plus Study Scripture With Me in Genesis 12, where Abram brings Lot along even though God told him to leave his father's house. God doesn't give Abram the promise until Lot is gone. What are you still carrying that God never asked you to bring? And my kids take the hot seat. Let's see if I taught them anything. I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended. The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine." We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health. If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here. New episodes every Thursday. Don't just exist. Show up. 🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com 🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes
I Asked My Husband What Most Men Get Wrong In Marriage
2026/08/13
Submit Your Questions for the Q&A Segment: https://bit.ly/3Tv4287 Most husbands have no idea what they're doing wrong. Not because they don't care. Because they're convinced emotions are supposed to follow logic. She shouldn't feel disrespected when I correct her grammar. She should thank me for telling her the idea was bad. That's not cruelty. That's a man trying to run a relationship like a system. Today I put my husband Rob on the hot seat and asked him the questions I usually get asked. What actually makes a marriage happy. What men do without realizing it's destroying things. Where husbands go when they stop talking to their wives. Whether he agrees with everything I teach. He doesn't. And he says so. He also talks about the hardest season we ever went through, the year we spent apart, and the man he became when he got back. I share the moment I stopped trying to manage his emotions and started working on my own. That shift changed everything, and not in the way I expected. Then we study Psalm 13 together. It's the psalm for the seasons when God feels silent. When you're begging for an answer and getting nothing back. I talk about Mother Teresa's journals, the practice of stacking stones, and why looking backward is sometimes the only way forward. And I'm back on the hot seat, answering your rapid fire questions. This week Jason had me hold a plank the entire time. I made it 4 minutes and 23 seconds and he ran out of questions before I ran out of arms. Keep sending the questions. Just go easy on me. I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended. The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine." We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health. If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here. New episodes every Thursday. Don't just exist. Show up. 🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com 🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes
When Someone You Love Goes Distant
2026/08/06
Referenced in this Episode 👀 Marriage Helper Couples Workshop: https://bit.ly/3PPVE1C Stop Trying To Fix Your Marriage Fast: https://youtu.be/GxRUPCSELq8 Submit Your Questions for the Q&A Segment: https://bit.ly/3Tv4287 Save My Marriage Course Waitlist: https://bit.ly/3RBHr9n Most people try to reconnect by talking about the relationship. That's exactly why it doesn't work. You sit them down. You bring up the distance. You ask them how they're feeling. And they shut down harder than before. I did that with my husband for years. Coffee. Serious face. "Can we talk about us?" It never once went the way I hoped. What finally worked was something much smaller. In this episode, I walk through the three steps I used to reconnect with my husband ten years ago. It's also the same three steps I just used with my 11 year old daughter. Step one. Make intentional time. Not them. You. If you're the one who sees the gap, you're the one who takes the first step to close it. That means putting down the thing that pulls you away. The phone. The work. The hobby. Whatever it is for you. Step two. Get interested in what they're interested in. Not what you wish they cared about. Not what you want to do together. What lights them up. People who don't feel safe talking about their fears will still talk for an hour about the thing they love. Step three. Start with something fun so it can go somewhere deep. Laughter comes before honesty. Safety comes before vulnerability. You cannot skip to the hard conversation and expect them to meet you there. For me and my daughter, it was nachos and the World Cup. For me and my husband, it was Renaissance festivals and a shooting range. It works in every relationship. Marriage. Kids. Anyone you've drifted from. If the connection is weak, you move closer to the source. Also in this episode: I answer three of your questions, including what to do when your spouse distrusts therapy, how to reconcile when you no longer share the same view of marriage, and what to do when you're doing all the work alone and running out of steam. Then we read Psalm 73 together in Study Scripture With Me, and I take on the Hot Seat while holding a wall sit longer than I should have. Walk. Don't run. There is still hope. I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended. The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine." We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health. If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here. New episodes every Thursday. Don't just exist. Show up. 🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com 🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes
This Mental State Hurts You AND Your Marriage
2026/07/30
Learn more about the Marriage Helper Couples Workshop: https://marriagehelper.com/couples-workshop/ You are such an idiot. That is what I said to myself. Out loud. For days. Over a pair of AirPods. I left the case on my bumper, drove off, and lost them. Second time I've lost a case. The first time I mailed it away in an Amazon return box. And I spent the next week beating myself up about it. Here's the problem with that. The things you think don't stay in your head. They move to your heart. They come out of your mouth. And when you think badly about yourself, you start thinking badly about everyone around you. What you think about is what you keep thinking about. So make it good. In this episode, I talk about how to break the negative self-talk spiral and actually move forward instead of ruminating. Then we get into your questions. How do you show a reluctant spouse you're a safe place when the only contact you have is sporadic texts about money? Short answer, you can't manufacture the opportunity. But you can be a good steward of the ones you get. Are kids really resilient after divorce? They are. But they shouldn't have to be. I get honest about why so many people repeat that line, and what the research actually says about kids growing up in high conflict co-parenting. And what do you do when your spouse says he's leaving so the kids won't have to watch a bad marriage? Fix the marriage. That is the model your kids need. Two people going through something hard and figuring out how to repair it. In Study Scripture With Me, I'm in 1 Samuel 28. Saul goes to a medium at Endor because God stopped answering him. David asks for the ephod and waits. Two men asking God the same kind of question. One wanting permission, one wanting direction. If God agrees with everything you want to do, it might be worth asking who you're actually listening to. Then we close with the hot seat. Ten words or less. Including one piece of advice I've given for years that I've had to correct. I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended. The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine." We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health. If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here. New episodes every Thursday. Don't just exist. Show up. 🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com 🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes
What To Do When You Feel Like A Failure
2026/07/23
I failed my driver's test before I ever pulled out of the parking lot. Sixteen years old. Red Miata convertible. The one thing I wanted more than anything. Gone in under a minute. I sat through the rest of that test convinced I could win her over. I couldn't. And all I could think about was that everyone at school was going to know. All my friends were going to know. I was the girl who failed. I've been driving for twenty years now. I almost never think about it. Here's what I want you to hear. You will fail at things. People will judge you for it. I'm not going to sit here and promise you that everyone is kind and nobody is watching, because that isn't true. Sometimes they are watching. Sometimes they are judging. But you only get two options. Sit in it and let it define you. Or decide what you do next. Maybe right now the failure everyone can see is your marriage. Your spouse left. You're the one sitting alone at church. Your kids are struggling and people notice. It feels like your whole life is on display and you're the cautionary tale. You still get to decide what comes next. Also in this episode, I'm answering your questions. How do you carry the emotional pain of a spouse who has been unfaithful and is telling people lies about you. Why your husband may be hiding the truth from you, and the uncomfortable question you have to ask yourself before trust can ever get rebuilt. Fair warning, this is the kind of answer that gets me hate mail. What to do when your spouse moves back home but sleeps in the guest room and clearly isn't there for the marriage. Then Coach Meredith joins me to talk about what she's seeing inside the Coaching Lab, why people make progress faster in groups, and how much it changes things when someone finally notices you're growing. In Study Scripture With Me, we're in Psalm 23. I walked that terrain in Israel and it completely changed how I read this psalm. Sheep don't lie down because you make them. Sheep lie down because they feel safe. That one detail reframes the entire thing. And in the Hot Seat, I answered rapid fire questions while doing burpees. We still don't agree on how many I actually did. You will fail. Things will not go as planned. People will judge you. Get back up, drive forward, and prove them wrong. I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended. The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine." We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health. If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here. New episodes every Thursday. Don't just exist. Show up. 🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com 🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes
Stop Trying To Fix Your Marriage Fast
2026/07/16
Everyone wants to sprint through the hard part of marriage. I understand why. When there's been infidelity. When trust has been broken. When you feel more like roommates than husband and wife. You want it over as fast as you possibly can. But I'll tell you something that surprises a lot of people. The faster a reconciliation happens, the bigger the red flag it is to me. Marriage was never meant to be a sprint. It's a marathon. In this episode, I share what running has taught me about the hardest seasons of a relationship. You don't run the hills. You walk them. Because when you try to summit a hill as fast as you can, you reach the top exhausted, overexerted, and ready to quit. But when you walk it, slow and intentional, you get to the top with enough left in you to keep going. That's what I want for your marriage. Not just surviving until death do you part. Actually enjoying each other the whole way there. Then we get into your questions. How do you know when you've stood long enough after a divorce, and what's the difference between standing around and actually moving forward. What to do when your spouse files and you're the one who removed the obstacle. And how to hold onto your marriage when your spouse walks away from the faith that once held you both together. We also open the word together in Psalm 139. A study on the God who searches you, knows every part of you, and still calls you fearfully and wonderfully made. I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended. The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine." We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health. If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here. New episodes every Thursday. Don't just exist. Show up. 🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com 🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes
3 Hidden Triggers Behind Every Argument You Have
2026/07/09
You think the fight was about the medicine. It wasn't. It was never about the medicine, the dishes, the text you forgot to send, or who said what first. Every argument you've ever had walked in carrying three invisible passengers.  Your past.  Your personality.  Your point of view. And your spouse brought their own three into the room, too. In this video, I break down what's actually happening inside both people the moment a conversation starts to heat up. Why something as small as "please pick up my prescription" can turn into a full-blown rupture in under thirty seconds. I'll walk you through the exact fight my husband and I had over a grocery run. What I felt. What he felt. And the three things I did in the hour after to flip it. Calm down.  Get curious instead of furious.  Lean in. Because here's the truth. You can't put the egg back in the shell once it cracks. But you can decide what happens next. You can clean it up and pretend it never happened.  Or you can flip it and make something out of it. That's the difference between a rupture that quietly ends a marriage and a repair that makes it stronger. And it's rarely the big betrayals that break people. It's the small cracks in the day-to-day that nobody ever goes back to fix. I'll show you how to spot your three, understand theirs, and turn the next heated moment into a repair instead of a wound. I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended. The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine." We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health. If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here. New episodes every Thursday. Don't just exist. Show up. 🔗 Website: https://kimberlybeamholmes.com 🎥YouTube https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes 📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kimberlybeamholmes

Podcast reviews

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4.9 out of 5
410 reviews
★★★★★
Anaivis8 2024/11/13
Best podcast
I am always looking forward to the next episode. Thank you! 🙏🏻
★★★★★
Euphoric Team 2024/04/25
So much wisdom and heart!
This is a great podcast with so much wisdom and heart. Episodes are compelling and fly by—and contain gems and life lessons that will serve you for ...
★★★★★
Sharononp 2024/04/03
Excellent Show!
Kimberly delivers a wonderful show with a variety of topics.
★★★★★
AOL review 2024/03/26
Great Program
Took the three day course and now, almost completed the PIES University. What an eye opening program. I have learned so much in the short amount I tim...
★☆☆☆☆
Bigstepper12 2024/03/14
Dr. Daniel Lieberman's dopamine podcast was very well done.
Hi Kimberly, I enjoyed your conversation with Dr. Lieberman, and got a lot out of the podcast, especially towards the end of the episode where he disc...
★★★★★
Coral Paradise 2024/02/06
I needed this !!!
The topic was so interesting and eye opening. I needed this !!! 😊. I found very good suggestions and nuggets to help me manage my stress. Good job a...
★★★★★
MockingbirdLane1313 2024/02/06
Wonderful advice and interviews
Kimberly is an excellent interviewer who asks excellent questions of her guests. It’s obvious she is always prepared and does her prep well. She also ...
★★★☆☆
Sweet Lilliebeth 2024/01/24
Sometimes impactful
I’ve been listening to “It Starts with Attraction” one and off again for several years. The concept of PIES, focusing on my physical, intellectual, e...
★★★★★
GuadalupeC.Jimenez 2024/01/20
Valuable Content in the Podcast
Thank you for a podcast that delivers valuable information and enriches my listening experience!
★★★★★
Bowski81 2023/12/28
Great Tips… Love PIES and Mindfulness
Bowski81 - 3 years ago I was living in a hotel and COMPLETELY estranged from my wife and adult children and even in the legal system. Because I fol...
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