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Failing Motherhood

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Rating
★★★★★
5
from
134 reviews
This podcast has
199 episodes
Language
English
Date created
2020/05/10
Latest episode
2025/05/20
Average duration
44 min.
Release period
7 days

Description

If you're riddled with mom guilt, your temper scares you, you're terrified you're screwing up your kids and are afraid to admit any of those things out loud....this podcast is for you. Hosted by Danielle Bettmann, parenting coach for families with 1-10-year-old strong-willed kids, Failing Motherhood is where shame-free vulnerability meets breakthroughs.  Every other week is a storytelling interview about one mom's raw and honest experience of growth that leads to new perspectives and practical strategies and every other week solo episodes focus on actionable insight into parenting your deeply feeling, highly sensitive, *spicy* child. Here, we normalize the struggle, share openly about our insecurities, and rally around small wins and truths. We hope to convince you you're not alone and YOU are the parent your kids need. We hope you see yourself, hear your story, and find hope and healing. Welcome to Failing Motherhood. You belong here!

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200. My #1 Mantra + Mindset Shift
2025/05/20
Happy 5th Anniversary of Failing Motherhood! Welcome to the LAST episode, #200. If there's one thing I will be known for, let it be this mindset shift. And in this episode, I don't just explain it, but I share a clip from a coaching call where we apply it in real time to a common frustration. IN THIS EPISODE I SHARED: How to recognize when you're having "first thoughts"Creative ways to problem solve struggles with cleaning up their own thingsHow to take your power back + no longer feel like the victimDON'T MISS: What I'm going to be working on in the future! // YOUR NEXT STEPS // #1 - Leave a review in Apple podcasts if you have grown as a parent while listening and share it with a friend to help us celebrate! #2 - Stay connected through email newsletters by registering for any of these FREE downloads-  PDF Guide for MORE Patience: www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/patiencePDF Guide on Managing BIG Emotions: www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/emotionsMasterclass on the Kind + Firm Approach your Strong-willed child needs: www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident // MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE // GAME CHANGER: Free Live Class on Tuesday, May 29th - register here: https://www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/game-changer // CONNECT WITH DANIELLE // Website: parentingwholeheartedly.com IG: @parent_wholeheartedly APPLY: parentingwholeheartedly.com/apply Send us Fan Mail over Text. Support the show START HERE: CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells *FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident
199. Fighting to Stop Fighting + Not Giving Up with Abbey + Jake
2025/05/13
Not giving up. Not giving in. Not settling. Being all in.  Today's episode recounts the story of Abbey, Jake, and their 7-year-old son finding purpose rather than despair, leaning in, offering mutual respect, and feeling like a united front. From feeling desperate and helpless, having "no good days" to parenting authentically, strategically, enjoying time together again. From their son never doing something he doesn't want to do, to not saying no anymore. From considering divorce, to the strongest they've ever felt together. IN THIS EPISODE, WE COVERED... How Jake took a good hard look at his relationship with his sonWhat they had to do to get the "Jerry Springer" moments to stopThe heartbreaking question their son asked and how they transformed his self-esteemDON'T MISS- The power that comes from asking for help I believe in you + I'm cheering you on. Come say hi!  I'm @parent_wholeheartedly on Insta. Apply to work together: parentingwholeheartedly.com/Apply Send us Fan Mail over Text. Support the show START HERE: CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells *FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident
198. Being True to Yourself inside Tricky Relationships with KC Davis
2025/05/06
We have a returning guest today!  KC Davis is a Licensed Professional Counselor, author, speaker, the creator of the mental health platform, Struggle Care, AND the author of the brand new book, out today... Who Deserves your Love (How to Create Boundaries to Start, Strengthen, or End any Relationship). In our conversation, we discuss the problems within the traditional self-help industry and the parallels of mom guilt and our effect on the people and the relationships we love.   The heart of our conversation centered around having clarity in our decision making using her "relationship decision tree" and finding more creative ways to sustain relationships rather than the pendulum swings between being a complete doormat and cutting off contact completely.  So if you need more skill building around healthy boundary setting, self-love and what it looks like to be a "good person" in your relationships, let's be honest, this episode is for all of us. IN THIS EPISODE, WE COVERED... Why shame isn't a sustainable motivatorHow to create the "Plinko board" our relationships flow within while remaining in integrityThe truth behind "if they wanted to, they would"DON'T MISS- A counterintuitive (yet MORE effective) way to spend quality time // MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE // Special Time Cards // CONNECT WITH KC DAVIS // Who Deserves your Love (How to Create Boundaries to Start, Strengthen, or End any Relationship) Book — KC Davis Website: www.strugglecare.com Instagram: @strugglecare TikTok: @domesticblisters I believe in you + I'm cheering you on. Come say hi!  I'm @parent_wholeheartedly on Insta. Apply to work together: parentingwholeheartedly.com/Apply Send us Fan Mail over Text. Support the show START HERE: CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells *FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident
197. 3 of 3: Therapy, Marriage Counseling, 1:1 Coaching + Virtual Parenting Programs/Memberships
2025/04/29
Welcome back! This is the 3rd of 3 episodes breaking down the vast array of parenting resources we have at our fingertips. Today we’re talking: personal therapy, marriage counseling, one-off or 1:1 parenting coaching, and virtual parenting programs / memberships. For each, I break down the family that resource is BEST for, the benefits it provides, the unique Pros and Cons of utilizing that support vs. another, and ultimately, for some, the way they fall short.   IN THIS EPISODE I SHARED: What a therapist will never tell youWhy 1:1 coaching actually takes LONGER to see resultsThe nuance missing from programs developed 50+ years agoDON'T MISS: The program that has it *all* if you are still looking for a breakthrough  // MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE // Parent Effectiveness Training (P.E.T.)Nonviolent Communication (N.V.C.)Systematic Training for Effective Parenting (S.T.E.P.)Active ParentingTriple P (Positive Parenting Program)How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will TalkPositive DisciplineLove and LogicDare to Discipline  // CONNECT WITH DANIELLE // Website: parentingwholeheartedly.com IG: @‌parent_wholeheartedly APPLY: parentingwholeheartedly.com/apply Send us Fan Mail over Text. Support the show START HERE: CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells *FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident
196. 2 of 3: OT, PCIT, Play Therapy + Seeing a Psychologist
2025/04/22
Welcome back! This is the 2nd of 3 episodes breaking down the vast array of parenting resources we have at our fingertips. Today we’re talking: Occupational Therapy, Parent Child Interaction Therapy, Child Therapy (play therapy) and seeing a Psychologist. For each, I break down the family that resource is BEST for, the benefits it provides, the unique Pros and Cons of utilizing that support vs. another, and ultimately for some, the way they fall short.   IN THIS EPISODE I SHARED: When play therapy would most benefit your childWhy PCIT is less likely to work with strong-willed kidsThe criteria often necessary in order to get a referral to a psychologistDON'T MISS: A study on childhood anxiety and what treatment style was most effective - the answer may surprise you!  // MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE // 2019 Yale Study on Combating Childhood Anxiety   // CONNECT WITH DANIELLE // Website: parentingwholeheartedly.com IG: @‌parent_wholeheartedly APPLY: parentingwholeheartedly.com/apply Send us Fan Mail over Text. Support the show START HERE: CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells *FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident
195. 1 of 3: Parenting Content, Books, Courses + Classes
2025/04/15
Welcome to my VERSUS series! This is the 1st of 3 episodes breaking down the vast array of parenting resources we have at our fingertips. Today we’re talking: parenting content, parenting courses & books, and in-person parenting classes. For each, I break down the family that resource is BEST for, the benefits it provides, the unique Pros and Cons of utilizing that support vs. another, and ultimately for some, the way they fall short.   IN THIS EPISODE I SHARED: Why it’s extra hard to implement strategies from a bookThe topics I recommend buying courses forWho benefits most from parenting classesDON'T MISS: The Industry standard completion rate for online courses vs. mine  // CONNECT WITH DANIELLE // Website: parentingwholeheartedly.com IG: @‌parent_wholeheartedly APPLY: parentingwholeheartedly.com/apply Send us Fan Mail over Text. Support the show START HERE: CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells *FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident
194. Setting Boundaries without Pressure + Panic
2025/04/08
What does it even look like to set + hold good boundaries? Boundaries can feel like an illusive mystery. Our preconceived notions of what we should be doing can create really rigid metrics for succeeding or failing, when in all actuality, there’s often no right or wrong! Today’s discussion includes validating the intention to “find the line”, why boundaries isn’t a binary but rather a spectrum, and the mindset reframes needed to be more effective and successful while still allowing for exceptions to the rule.   IN THIS EPISODE I SHARED: How the lack of boundaries leads to entitlementWhat your true responsibility isHow much time you actually have to address the behaviorDON'T MISS: An important distinction to realize when parenting strong-willed kids  // CONNECT WITH DANIELLE // Website: parentingwholeheartedly.com IG: @‌parent_wholeheartedly APPLY: parentingwholeheartedly.com/apply Send us Fan Mail over Text. Support the show START HERE: CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells *FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident
193. Accidentally Inviting the Outcomes You're Trying to Avoid
2025/04/01
Well that backfired! When we parent out of fear, our short-sighted reactions can add fuel to the fire. This can create unintended consequences, like MORE helplessness, MORE sibling resentment, and MORE attention-seeking. In this episode, I cover where this starts, two extremely common examples, and what to do instead. IN THIS EPISODE I SHARED: The Boomerang Effect: What you push away, comes back full forceA parallel to the movie- Monsters, Inc.The "Veruca Salt" mentality we're all afraid ofDON'T MISS: How the best of intentions can actually create MORE entitlement or sibling rivalry // MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE // Dr. Shefali Tsabary books // CONNECT WITH DANIELLE // Website: parentingwholeheartedly.com IG: @parent_wholeheartedly APPLY: parentingwholeheartedly.com/apply Send us Fan Mail over Text. Support the show START HERE: CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells *FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident
192. Working WITH Demand Avoidance (PDA) to Make the Impossible, POSSIBLE with Lisa
2025/03/25
Cooking during daytime hours, running in & out of a store, joining a homeschool group... these may seem like everyday occurrences to some families, but at Lisa's house, they felt impossible. She was tasked with getting her neurodivergent son up to state curriculum standards last year while homeschooling, but his pathological demand avoidance made cooperation so hard to attain. NOW - she shares what IS possible now, how her confidence has grown, and what seemed to help when nothing else did. IN THIS EPISODE, WE COVERED... The multi-faceted feelings of failure Lisa struggled withThe breakthroughs she experienced while we worked togetherThe remarkable progress they've been able to make DON'T MISS- The unorthodox solution that helped her son wash his hair I believe in you + I'm cheering you on. Come say hi!  I'm @parent_wholeheartedly on Insta. Apply to work together: parentingwholeheartedly.com/Apply Send us Fan Mail over Text. Support the show START HERE: CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells *FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident
191. Silly over Serious
2025/03/18
Does it ever feel like your strong-willed child SNAPS and turns into someone else entirely? Like an alter ego took over? You’re now walking on eggshells trying to diffuse a bomb before it explodes. There are two wires, which one do you cut? Choose SILLY over SERIOUS.   IN THIS EPISODE I SHARED: A situation in college you’d have handled in a similar wayThe ramifications of doubling down on seriousnessWays to inform your mindset that boost your patience and compassionDON'T MISS: Several examples of ways to effectively choose the sillier option without letting them “get away with it”  // CONNECT WITH DANIELLE // Website: parentingwholeheartedly.com IG: @‌parent_wholeheartedly APPLY: parentingwholeheartedly.com/apply Send us Fan Mail over Text. Support the show START HERE: CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells *FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident
190. Silencing Shame & Enjoying your Kids with Sharon Johnson
2025/03/11
Shame is a universal human experience no one is immune to, especially in motherhood where it feels like there’s a right and a wrong way to do everything, yet no matter what you do, you can’t win! How do you break free from the shame cycle? My guest today, Sharon Johnson, is a mother to six who creates social media content focusing on motherhood, mental health, getting older and finding oneself, and healing after years of trauma and crisis.  Sharon kicked motherhood off by being absolutely swallowed by shame - so much so she didn’t even realize it. Tune in to hear her story of deconstruction and leaving the LDS church, adopting her niece and nephew, managing her bipolar and depression, and the true pride she’s able to feel now in saying she in fact IS the parent her kids need. IN THIS EPISODE, WE COVERED... The viral post of hers where the internet called her a bad parent, horrible mother, and threatened to call CPSHow Sharon's relationship with shame has evolved and what mattered mostThe importance of building open and honest relationships with teens so we can discuss difficult topics and build trustDON'T MISS- How much more she actually enjoys motherhood and her kids now and why // MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE // Rhett McLaughlin's (of Rhett and Link) house analogy clip from their podcast, Ear Biscuits Rhett's Spiritual Deconstruction - full episode 226 of Ear Biscuits (2/3/2020) // CONNECT WITH SHARON // Podcast: Wake Her Up Tiktok: @Sharon.a.life I believe in you + I'm cheering you on. Come say hi!  I'm @parent_wholeheartedly on Insta. Apply to work together: parentingwholeheartedly.com/Apply Send us Fan Mail over Text. Support the show START HERE: CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells *FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident
189. Intentionally Indulge
2025/03/04
What do bad mornings, clingy birthday parties, fighting playdates and candy on the way home from school all have in common? Instead of doubling down to invite the meltdown or giving in to avoid it… there’s a better way! These are all situations where you, as the parent, can intentionally indulge.  Tune in to learn how.   IN THIS EPISODE I SHARED: Ways to shift from being reactive to proactive, getting one step ahead of your childWhy “intentionally indulging” works so wellHow to compromise to get more cooperation in the long runDON'T MISS: A practical way to help your “slow to warm up” child be successful at a chaotic birthday party  // MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE // Follow me on TikTok for “Advice Column Answers” - @‌thatparentcoach   // CONNECT WITH DANIELLE // Website: parentingwholeheartedly.com IG: @‌parent_wholeheartedly APPLY: parentingwholeheartedly.com/apply Send us Fan Mail over Text. Support the show START HERE: CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells *FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident
188. "I can figure this out" with Marli Klaus
2025/02/25
My guest today, Marli Klaus, is a mom of three, a pediatric sleep consultant, and a trainer and mentor for other sleep consultants as the owner of The Cradle Coach and The Cradle Coach Academy.  I’ve known Marli for several years and had the chance to work with her family last winter! In our conversation, Marli shares very openly and honestly about her fears for her son, the way she dreaded pickup, the heartbreaking effect on her other kids, the determination she felt to figure it out herself, and the guilt for clearly failing him somehow. I hope you see yourself and your family in Marli’s story and find hope. IN THIS EPISODE, WE COVERED... Why Marli *couldn't* figure it out all by herselfWhat her husband needed to hear & experience that made all the differenceWhat she would go back & tell herself nowDON'T MISS- Why sleep is so underrated yet so important // CONNECT WITH MARLI // Website: www.thecradlecoachacademy.com Instagram: @thecradlecoach & @thecradlecoachacademy I believe in you + I'm cheering you on. Come say hi!  I'm @parent_wholeheartedly on Insta. Apply to work together: parentingwholeheartedly.com/Apply Send us Fan Mail over Text. Support the show START HERE: CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells *FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident
187. 7 Ways to Beat the Bedtime Blues
2025/02/18
Most strong-willed kids struggle with sleep, so if bedtime feels like neverending pulling teeth at your house, join the club! While I'm always going to advocate for nuance and individualization, confidence comes from having a diverse set of tools in your backpocket, so this episode is here to help you have a few more "tricks" up your sleeve. Here's to a shorter bedtime routine for the kids and more time for revenge bedtime procrastination for the adults! :) IN THIS EPISODE I SHARED: Why you might need to rethink TV time before bedtimeHow to embrace your "dread" + commiserate with your childThe script to say when you leave their room DON'T MISS: What to do when they're acting like your old drunk college roommate // MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE // Mighty and Bright - Kids' Daily Routine Chart Honeybee & Friends Bedtime Stories // CONNECT WITH DANIELLE // Website: parentingwholeheartedly.com IG: @parent_wholeheartedly APPLY: parentingwholeheartedly.com/apply Send us Fan Mail over Text. Support the show START HERE: CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells *FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident
186. 90% less Tantrums in 3 Months with Heather + David
2025/02/11
Heather and David, parents from the Midwest, take us along in their journey of parenting their strong-willed five-year-old daughter.  Just a few months ago, they were drowning; overwhelmed by her tantrums, feeling like parenting was heartbreaking, stressful, and defeating more days than not. NOW, they are parenting with hope, optimism and confidence, let alone 90% less tantrums overall! Tune in to hear the things that were hard to admit, why they believe they benefitted so much from this work, and the nuggets and takeaways they want every listener to learn alongside them. IN THIS EPISODE, WE COVERED... The moment Heather knew they needed helpHow David began to relate to his daughter in new waysThe mindset shifts that led to a quick turnaroundDON'T MISS- The challenges of being in a field like Heather's (speech language pathology in an elementary school) where you *SHOULD* know how to do this & struggle at home with your own child I believe in you + I'm cheering you on. Come say hi!  I'm @parent_wholeheartedly on Insta. Apply to work together: parentingwholeheartedly.com/Apply Send us Fan Mail over Text. Support the show START HERE: CALM + CONFIDENT: THE MASTERCLASS Master the KIND + FIRM Approach your Strong-Willed Child Needs WITHOUT Crushing their Spirit OR Walking on Eggshells *FREE* - www.parentingwholeheartedly.com/confident

Podcast reviews

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5 out of 5
134 reviews
★★★★★
Hhhmmmzzz 2025/01/30
Simply The Best
Danielle is simply the best! Her podcast is what started the journey that changed my parenting life for the better. This podcast hits home on so many ...
★★★☆☆
Denkinkc 2025/07/23
Podcast is a teaser for a for purchase product
It seems like many of the episodes I’ve listened to are just 30-45 min teasers trying to get me to go to purchase courses. Totally cool to advertise p...
★★★★★
nicgarv 2024/05/08
So real and relatable!
From the intro of this podcast, I was hooked. Danielle is real and relatable and covers a wide variety of topics on parenting. I initially found her f...
★★★★★
BoulderBlonde 2024/05/07
Saved my sanity!
If you have ever felt like you were Failing Motherhood, you need to be here! Danielle has so many wonderful guests for varying topics related to mothe...
★★★★★
She's awesome! 2024/04/30
She's amazing
Her advice is practical and real. Every time I've heard her whether at MOPS or podcast or her class, she's down to earth and in it with you and has a ...
★★★★★
Kelleyspodcastreview 2024/04/26
Your New Favorite Podcast
We all need something fun to look forward to. Here it is. Oh, and it’s helpful too. I’m pretty sure you’re going to want to be BFFs with Danielle, and...
★★★★★
RaNdOM HuMaN 902 2024/02/13
It’s not just me!
My kids were raised at the height of Gymboree clothes and programs madness, as Pintrist gained traction. I felt doomed. Thank you for reminding us tha...
★★★★★
theconnectedmomlife 2023/12/04
Real talk
Danielle is like a grounded best friend in your ear who isn’t afraid to be real with you. Love the variety of topics and I always walk away feeling le...
★★★★★
Omaya A 2023/11/16
Treasure Trove of Parenting Information
I find myself constantly thumbing through the titles of the Failing Motherhood Podcast to listen to specific issues we are having with our strong-will...
★★★★★
TheVagWhisperer 2023/11/03
Great conversations to support moms
I was a guest on this podcast and loved not just sharing my insight as a pelvic heath therapists, but also sharing my experiences as a mom. Connecting...
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