Advertise on podcast: Sunshine peering through the fog

Life isn't easy...and sometimes throws you curveballs. I am going to step back for a while from recording, which ultimately means I got shit to figure out.

Having an "a-ha" moment and realizing that perhaps a year ago I was coming out of shock as it was 4 weeks exactly that we were in the ER hearing those words...."your husband has a brain tumour."

Taking a look back to a year ago January 26th vs today (recording on the 25th) and finding some sunshine for myself.

Attempting to explain what the brain tumour did to John on a daily basis....absolutely phenomenal and devastating at the same time.

What should have been a sweet moment/memory is tarnished by realization that every change in John meant another loss and move towards what they were telling us.

Although I used to make fun of John and his "radio voice" I cherish the recordable books we purchased and he voiced for us.

As we settle into our "new normal" and ultimately just enjoy our time together I reflect on the box of kleenex that has been a staple on the dining room table - never out of reach.

If you're uncomfortable with this topic then you should avoid listening to this lengthy podcast filled with nose blowing and pauses.

This episode hears me spiraling after a weekend of neglecting my grief but also remembering the kindness of others who want to help us by making THE BEST BURGER EVA!

Taking some time to breath and allow the thoughts to flow into my head so I can absorb, comprehend and decipher them.

Another attempt at fulfilling John's request to attend church....no regrets but unfortunately for him, it was too emotional for myself and I opted for him to watch it live streamed for the remainder of his time with us.

Remembering last years Brunch at the Ranch and the memories we made...the physical memory won't be moving forward with me but the visual memory I will keep in my mind forever.

There are moments in our lives that hit hard in the heart. This episode explores one from a year ago.

Between the "what ifs" and the images/pictures in my mind this internal battle will never be over, and that's ok.

Following through on John's wishes and inviting then opening our door to Pastor Dave. Then no sooner had he left another team member knocked on the door and then another. Non-stop organizing can be draining. Although this is tougher than anything I've ever done, I'm grateful to be able to take the time and really "feel the feels" a year later.