Advertise on podcast: Get Your Marriage On! with Dan Purcell

It's an understatement to say that it's frustrating being in a marriage where sex is non-existent or very infrequent. According to Justin Lee Miller, PhD, who's a sex researcher, about one in seven Americans are in relationships with little to no sex. I believe good sex is healthy for a thriving growing marriage relationship. Sex is bonding, contributes to your overall health, and not to mention really, really fun and exciting. I'm on a mission to eliminate poverty and bedrooms everywhere. I want to help couples overcome their challenges that inhibit them from fully receiving all the goodness that an intimate marriage can provide. Let's stop living beneath our privileges and courageously step into a strong growing thriving marriage. Amy Langford is my co-host today. She has been a guest on my podcast before (see episode number 101). She's a very talented marriage and intimacy coach and she coaches with me in my Next Level Program. And today you're invited to be a fly on the wall as Amy and I discuss an email from John (not his real name). He has a marriage where intimacy is not very frequent. I'm grateful for John to email me so much detail and I can sense his sincere desire for change in his relationship. Remember that intimate marriages are a system. We always co-create the marriage dynamic we have, as they say, there are always two sides to every story. And unfortunately we don't have as wife's perspective. So we'll be focusing today on what John can do. Perhaps in a future episode, we'll be able to focus on what his wife, Julie, can do. Let's dive in!

I'm excited to answer some anonymous questions I have received from listeners. Some topics we cover include the following: Learning to dirty talk and flirt more How to deal with undesireable sexual side effects from medications Self-Soothing Overcoming gridlock The use of bondage in a marriage bed When grief affects sexuality Masturbation and more! If you would like to submit an anonymous question for me to answer on the podcast, on Instagram, or in an email, you can do so on our website.  --- We have an exciting new program coming up at the end of March! Watch your email newsletter for more information!  

We recently hit a major milestone with this podcast: 1 million downloads! Thank you for your support! Let's be honest here. Initiating sex is not easy at all. We want the other person to take charge and initiate, right? We worry, how are we going to be received? There's also so much of ourselves wrapped up in what it means to initiate, or not initiate, sex. And past experiences tend to influence our reluctance to initiate as well. Yet, the reality is if one of you doesn't initiate sex, sex is never going to happen in your relationship.  So why is initiating sex so hard? What are some common reasons why people, me included, struggle to initiate sex sometimes? How do we get better at this very intimate act of bidding for sexual connection? I've been pondering these questions lately, and I'm grateful to meet up with James Christiansen, a licensed marriage and family therapist from Roseville, California. You'll quickly find out that he has a brilliant sharp mind and quickly cuts right to the heart of the matter.   And this episode, we're going to talk about what's at the heart of initiating sex, because it gets a lot deeper than what you're probably thinking. And by the end of this episode, hopefully you'll take more courageous action to cherish your spouse more than before.      Links referenced in the episode: ⬇️ Download the Intimately Us and get in on the Sextimacy Challenge before it's over! 🌟 Get info on the DIY Boudoir Date Night Box 🙋 Snag the last spot at our couples retreat coming up in just 5 weeks!

Do you wish you could have more powerful, more pleasurable orgasms? Or to not need to cross your legs when you sneeze? Or jump on the trampoline like you used to before kids?   Studies show only about 30% of women have an orgasm from penetration. But perhaps that number could be higher if your pelvic floor (the muscles in and around your vagina) were in better condition. Research also shows that the stronger and healthier your pelvic floor muscles are, the more pleasure you’ll find from orgasms (the orgasm is the most powerful pelvic floor contraction possible!), and no pain from intercourse too! Our special guest Pauli Hannan is a Pelvic Floor Physical Therapist that specializes in helping women have a better life with a healthier pelvic floor.  She’s created No Kegel University, where she debunks the idea that you need to do more Kegel exercises or buy vaginal ben-wa balls to strengthen your pelvic floor. This episode is an abridged version of a live 90-minute workshop, and you can watch the full replay on our website. Although this content is directed towards women, men are invited to learn along. After all, men have pelvic floors that need strengthening too!  

Today I want to talk about embracing your eroticism. This is a beautiful part of being human; your eroticism is going to be unique to you just as your fingerprints are unique to you!  In this episode, we're going to address the following common questions: What is eroticism? Why is eroticism such an important part of a thriving marriage? Why are most people afraid of it?  How do you figure out what your eroticism is? How do you figure out what gets you going? How do you cultivate more of this goodness in your life? And, we also give you some fun "would you rather" questions you can use as a spring board to understand your own and your spouse's erotic interests.  --- Resources we mentioned in the episode: DIY Boudoir Date Night Box: We've teamed up with EveryLove Intimates to bring you this kit that brings the magic of a professional boudoir photoshoot right to the comfort of your home! Couples Retreat (only 3 spots left!) Picture this: sunny days, red rock landscapes, and outdoor adventures, coupled with a perfect balance of powerful instruction on sex and intimacy, personalized expert coaching, relaxed downtime (wink wink), in a supportive environment. So why not register today before someone else takes your spot? Come join us in March! Just Between Us app: This app is linked directly to your spouse and it encrypts everything so you never have to worry about your intimate photos or conversations accidentally going to someone unintended!

DIY or professionally done, boudoir photography has the potential to empower women and open their minds and hearts to their own inherent beauty, as well as add an extra spark and intimacy to a marriage.  I discuss this and more with my guest today, Sierra Beltran, an experienced photographer from Arizona. In this podcast episode, we talk about the following in our deep dive on boudoir photography: How it can benefit you and your marriage What to expect What common objections there are to having boudoir photos done Concerns about faith and nudity  Ways to feel more confident in your photos How to do your own boudoir photography at home with a lot of fantastic DIY tips from a professional  If you're interested in DIY boudoir photography at home, I have two fantastic resources for you! EveryLove Intimated DIY Boudoir Photography Date Night Box. We have partnered with EveryLove Intimates, one of our favorite lingerie and date night box brands to create a DIY Photo box. This box comes with everything you need for a memorable at-home boudoir experience and date night. My wife and I recently did the DIY session with the items in this box, and it has definitely easily become one of our top 10, most memorable date nights. Just Between Us App. If you want to share your photos with your spouse, you can do it safely on this app. It encrypts everything so you never have to worry about your intimate photos or conversations accidentally going to someone unintended. Also, there's a feature where you can take photos now and send them later.  

Sex can be hard for couples for many reasons. And if you feel like it's hard for you right now, you're not alone. Sex is so highly personal and it's a very anxious behavior, yet it's also at the core of who we are. So it's like this dichotomy: we want to be close to another person, yet, in order to get there, we have to overcome a lot of nervousness and anxiety in order to enjoy that. And by the way, sex is so much more than just two bodies bumping into each other; our minds and our spirits are highly involved in sex as well. Humans are the only species on earth capable of making meaning in sex. Dogs don't have sex and think, "Oh, he really loves me." Or, "She was really into that." Dogs and other animals don't do that. It's a very human thing to find meaning in sex. And, that's a double-edged sword for a lot of people. The anxiety in sex make sex a horrible experience or a difficult experience to enjoy for some people. But the flip side of that is the transcendent capacity for deep connection that can come through sex. It is one of the most unique human and wonderful things about being a person. So in this episode, we dive deep into why sex can be hard for couples. Understanding our hangups and why we have them is the first step to overcoming them! -- Valentine's Day is coming up, and that means so is our 14-Day Sextimacy Challenge! Watch the Intimately Us app for more details! Our free workshop coming up on January 19 will be all about increasing pelvic floor health. Strong pelvic floors benefit us in so many ways. I hope you'll join us! Details will be hitting your inbox soon. The life-changing Get Your Marriage On! couples retreat is coming up just around the corner. There are only a couple weeks left to sign up before registrations are closed! Grab your spot today!

Who in your relationship has more of a say in general, who in your relationship organizes themselves around the other more? Are there any unaddressed resentments that you deal with in your relationship right now, do some things feel just one sided in your marriage? Couples that thrive have a shared sense of power in the relationship power in this context is defined as note shared power shared influence.  One person can receive the influence from the other. The moment we start creating hierarchies in our relationship. Meaning one person is more important than the other, or the general order of things goes like, no, God husband, wife, for example. When we create these hierarchies in our relationship, we set ourselves up for power struggles and this often undermines sexual desire and intimacy in the marriage. I work with couples that want to grow their sexual relationship.  And that's one of the purposes of this podcast. The reality is you grow the sexual relationship by strengthening the marriage and upgrading the relationship dynamic. One way to quickly improve your sex life is by paying close attention to the power dynamics at play in a relationship. And some of them might be invisible to you or very covert. My guest today is Bonnie Young.  She's a licensed marriage and family therapist licensed in Utah in Washington state. She's also currently working on her PhD.  She's super smart, caring. And as you'll get to know, very experienced in this topic we're going to talk about today. She's also a mom of two, almost three children and runs a mental health clinic with almost a dozen therapists working for her in two states in her spare time.  --- Ready to level up your marriage this year? Check out our romantic and life-changing marriage retreat coming up this March!   --- For more fun, connection, and intimacy daily, download our free app: Intimately Us  

Five years ago, around the campfire with friends, one man told me about this amazing trip he and his wife made to Thailand where they camped out on the beach in this pristine tropical bay. And another friend told me about his trip to the Dominican Republic at is all inclusive resort, just he and his wife. And another guy talked about this cruise, he and his wife went on and all these fun and exciting trips with just their wives.  And I was so, feeling sorry for myself. I had extreme case of FOMO. I wanted to get away with my wife, but I just felt like I couldn't because of the circumstances in my life.  Long story short, we finally made that trip happen. We had so much fun and we just really needed this time together, this time away. And that experience of getting away just the two of us really nourished our relationship and boosted us like nothing else. So since that time we've gone at least on one weekend away together every three months, about four times a year, and it's become something we really look forward to doing in our marriage.  And it's become a staple for helping our relationship thrive.  In this episode, you get to hear a little bit more about this vacation my wife and I finally went on, but you also hear from a Romance Consultant, Joise McEwen, about how to plan your own romantic getaway, how to make vacation sex successful, and hopefully gain inspiration to make a getaway a goal for your marriage. --- If you want to take you getaway up a level, check out our couples retreat coming up in March! Get all the details at getyourmarriageon.com/couples-retreat/. And if you're looking for ways to add fun and spice to the bedroom on the regular, on vacation or not, check out the Intimately Us app!  

For a lot of couples, Christmastime is a really stressful time of the year. There's a lot of end of year projects for work and school; there's also gift shopping and preparations for guests and meals and Christmas cards and dinners and parties, and the list just keeps going on and on and on.  And if you have children, it just multiplies the complexity by every child that you have in your home.  But Christmastime can also be a very special, sexy time of year. Think about it. Think of all the romantic, Christmas-themed movies that we love. Think about the time you get a snuggle by a fire. Think about the fun that you can have with your spouse when the world kind of slows down for a little bit. It can become a very sexy time.  In fact, a friend pointed out to me that, in the United States at least, we have the highest birth rate at the end of August, early September. I didn't believe him. So I double checked it. And it's true! In the United States, we have the most births in late August, early September. Which means most people are being conceived around Christmas time.  And I want this to be a very sexy time for you too! So I'm going to offer you 12 sexy Christmastime tips in this episode!   Helpful links: Intimately Us Get Your Marriage On! Couples Retreat Tammy Hill's book, Replenish  

There's something magical about setting aside three to four days away with your spouse, where you can relax and have fun and enjoy working on aspects of your relationship that are going to give you a big boost and forward momentum. And our Get Your Marriage On! retreat next March could be just the thing to help renew and revitalize your marriage like it did for the past attendees you'll hear from in this episode. Find out more about what is included, what the retreat is like, and most importantly, the results for the couples who have come in the past. (Hint: they were transformative!) I hope you'll join us in March 2024 for this life-changing experience! Get all the details here: https://getyourmarriageon.com/couples-retreat/

Picture this: It's a typical day. You're lying in bed. Snoozing your alarm clock for the third time, your resolve to get to the gym weakening. You were interrupted again last night from a child that needed you. And as you awake the demands of the day, press on you. Lists appear in your mind what shopping needs to be done, which child has which appointment, the field trip that you volunteered to go on, the assignment at church you agreed to do, and so on and so on. You get out of bed already tired to go about your morning routine. But today, a genie appears and grants you a special wish for one day. You can do what you want to do. What would you decide? What would you do? Have you lost yourself? My friend and guest, Ariel Finlinson, years ago was in a situation where her husband and kids are going to be out of town for a few days. And she had an entire weekend to herself. She had no idea what she'd do with her time. That's the day she realized that she had somehow lost herself in motherhood. She had lost touch of herself, lost the relationship with herself in her busy and noble life of mothering. As you know, this podcast is dedicated to helping Christian couples get out of a rut in their sex life. Today's topic isn't sexy, per se, but it's really important and ties into developing a stronger sex life. The relationship with ourselves is crucial to our relationship with others. You can't give from an empty well, and you can't lift others to higher ground if you're not on higher ground yourself. Ariel recently received her master's degree in family life education. She's super fun, sharp. And the host at the Ladies Talking Love podcast. Today, we're going to talk about five ideas for mothers to reconnect with themselves in their life. Click here for Ariel's free download, "Find Yourself After Kids," that we mentioned in the episode. Take Care of Yourself and Your Relationship Something you can do to nourish yourself, get some rest, have fun and connect with your spouse in a deeper, profound way is to get away once in a while together. And there's no better way to do that than to attend our upcoming couples retreat in March. Registration is open and you won't want to miss it. During the retreat, we'll do a deep dive into your relationship and give you real practical tools to help you get out of a rut, do away with resentment and free yourself from the frustrations and limitations you currently face. You'll walk away from this retreat feeling rejuvenated with lots of hope in your relationship and just feeling great together again. And this retreat is also balanced with a lot of fun activities like ATVing in the desert or canyoneering near Zion national park. To make this an unforgettable weekend, sign up today!