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Do you remember being like seven years old and having to write a 'recount' when you come back to school after the holidays? Yeah, I was not too fond of those. I never felt like I had anything to say, and I've never been a massive fan of writing about myself. But sometimes, growing up means becoming your English teacher, and my recount is overdue. It's been two months since my last personal update, and I'm both glad and exhausted to say that it's been a huge two months. So there's plenty to talk about; buckle up, besties. O Week Festivities So for those of you who (for some reason) don't know what o week is, it's the last week of uni holidays/week before uni starts. Generally, it involves many different events being put on, both on and off-campus. It's a week-long bender for some and means absolutely nothing to others. UOW put on what they called "Campus Fest" in late February to celebrate. Since people haven't been on campus for years now, they pulled out all the stops to ensure that the event was attractive to students & motivated them to get involved. While it's great to see people on campus, it's also bizarre. I drove up to the outskirts of Sydney one of the mornings of O-week. I collected a dear friend who was rostered to run the stand with me. That was back when the train lines were randomly out of order. I realised that I had never met this person face-to-face at some point on the drive. That is the case with most of the people in my course. We've been aware of each other for years, but some have never met. Such is life. I drove my friend back home at the end of the day, and what should have taken 28 minutes took a bit longer because I drove through the most shocking fog. Being the ever-eager opportunist that I am meant that I had some fun things to do that week. By which I mean I helped operate the stall for the club that I'm an executive for and ran around doing interviews and content collection for UOWTV. Admittedly I put my hand up to help with reporting the event because I was told we would have access to the headliner acts - which would have been fantastic, but last-minute disorganisation and management issues meant that we did not get to interview Montaigne, Ziggy Ramo or Alex the Astronaut. I did, however, put my big girl journalist pants on and interviewed the vice-chancellor of UOW and the production manager of Yours & Owls. More on that later, though. Cleaning up after mercury retrograde & the Nan Tien Temple If you recall my last catch-up post, you'll know that mercury retrograde earlier this year saw the death of my precious laptop. Dad came down to Wollongong just before uni started up with a replacement laptop and the TV sitting dormant in our dining room back home. After wasting two rolls, I learned how to correctly load film into my camera. So it's safe to say that all is well. While Dad was here, we finally managed to make it to see the Nan Tien Temple. Well, some of it. It was raining (shocker), so we didn't explore as much as we would have liked. You might have heard I contracted a funky little virus by the name of Miss Rona? I had a great time leading up to the first week of university. I went to concerts, met up with friends, conducted interviews, and saw one awfully fatal drag show in an audience of over 700 people. If I had to hazard a bet - I'd say that's where it all went wrong. I haven't at all been subtle about having gotten covid. Obviously, I wrote a whole post about the matter. It wasn't fun, but if you're particularly interested in reading my overdramatic covid fueled rant, you can do so here. I've been sitting in classrooms again (finally) I sat the first week of uni out. Stayed cooped up in my covid dungeon of a room. But I eventually got back on campus! It's so much more motivating seeing everyone in person. The peer pressure of being in a room with other concentrating people gets me through the day. This semester I'm doing s

I'm sure you're aware that fuel is $2+ at the moment. I'm also sure that a well informed, highly participatory member of society such as yourself knows that this is a result of the current conflict in Ukraine. I'm sure we can all agree that higher fuel prices are a fair trade if it means that our lives aren't immediately threatened by nuclear warfare. Nonetheless, I've heard the Russian invasion of Ukraine referenced as "World War Three". That phrase has been thrown around for years. The media said the same thing in 2016 when Trump was elected. Naturally, I'm not convinced that World War Three is on the horizon, at least not how we might imagine. In the past few years, we've definitely been taught that the unexpected is imminent and assuming that life will remain as it is regardless of significant events such as oh, I don't know, global pandemics. So I can't in total certainty say that this European conflict will not bring Australia into a worldwide conflict eventually. But I'd like to point out that war and combat in the traditional sense is a lot less likely to occur nowadays. More importantly, it's a lot less likely that it will be a successful method of resolving what is essentially a border dispute. Even as someone who harbours an embarrassingly intense interest in Russian politics, I'll admit that I didn't understand the situation in Ukraine when it first started circulating the media. To be fair, I still don't think it makes a heap of sense. But the other day, my Dad sent me the video that I've attached below, which helped clear things up quite a bit. Anyway, whether you watched that or not, Harris basically points out that Putin's agenda is unsustainable and ultimately impossible to pull off. "Ukrainians are fighting for the love of country, Russians are fighting for fear of a dictator" pretty much sums it up. Russia's power over its people has long been based on misinformation and censorship. Obviously, with the age of technology and Web 2.0, it's getting more and more challenging to keep the Russian people in Putin's bubble. Each of the wars has differed slightly according to the technology available at the time. Where World War One was fought on the battlefield, the cold war was characterised by nuclear technology. There's a pronounced difference between the state of the world when the berlin wall fell to now. We've all got a smartphone in our hands. We're all connected to everything, all the time. We have an intensely overwhelming amount of access to information and people in other countries and cultures. Countries are linked through interpersonal connections and business and trade partnerships, to an extent never before seen in wartimes, so obviously, it's going to have an impact. Putin's agenda does not seem to account for this. There's a hugely interesting example of how warfare differs in the present day, and when I read this, I have to admit it was amusing for some reason. In solidarity with Ukraine, McDonald's decided to close all 850 stores placed in Russia. Russian McDonald's employees will continue to be paid. However, all market operations between the corporation and Russia will be paused. Personally, if I was involuntarily drafted to participate in a war that I do not believe in, I would at least like a Happy Meal on my way out. But I get it. Other major corporations such as Coca-Cola, PepsiCo, and Yum Brands (the parent company for KFC and Pizza Hut), have made similar decisions, pausing business with Russia for the time being. Personally, if I was involuntarily drafted to participate in a war that I do not believe in, I would at least like a Happy Meal on my way out. Traditional warfare depended on the civilians feeling a certain sense of patriotism toward their home country. That kind of patriotism is nowhere near as common today as it was back then because truly no country operates in a vacuum outside of globalisation. You don't have to feel this intense loyalty to y

So, I got Covid. To my credit, I've managed to avoid it for longer than I thought I would. I had every symptom under the sun and moon. Sore throat, cough, headache, muscle aches, difficulty breathing, runny nose, etc. It's been an adventure for sure and not a particularly fun one. I do, however, have some stories to tell and some misinformation to spread. You might think - "Tyneesha! Good journalists prioritise the TRUTH". I'll take this opportunity to state that a) truth is subjective and b) I never said I was a good journalist. If Buzzfeed offered me a job right now, I'd snatch that gig up and never let go. I didn't come here to teach you anything today; I came here to talk absolute trash. Feel free to go read the actual news if you're in the mood to be bummed out. I have a very annoying starting point when covering my thoughts and feelings regarding contracting covid. It's no longer impressive or novel that I got Covid. Back in March of 2020, the golden age of the pandemic, if you will, a healthy 20-year-old uni student getting sick would have been the story of my career. I could be a shining light in the haze of misinformation. However, it's been two years, I no longer believe in the validity of upholding truth within the media landscape. Yeah, the one conveniently owned by the same four rich men who definitely have our best interest at heart. I do, however, believe in entertainment value and sarcastic humour. I didn't come here to teach you anything today; I came here to talk absolute trash. As I said before, I did manage to avoid covid much longer than I thought I could. The government's "we're all going to get it" approach could have fooled me. Don't get me wrong, I've been careful, but I haven't self-imposed a lockdown lifestyle. If the pandemic has taught us anything, it's not to take our freedoms for granted. I've got to take my 20s for all they have to offer while I still can. Draining my 20s for all the dopamine I can does not involve laying in bed for a week, and it does involve going to Kmart instead of doing my washing. Right now, I am Kmart-less. Horrifying. Many people in my life got covid right after Christmas, and I managed to miss that wave. It was evident that my immune system was thriving because I was eating my mum's food at home. I'm not saying that my mum's butter beef cures covid, but I am saying that it would definitely help me right now. Nonetheless, I've been a close contact multiple times. I went to Sydney a few weeks ago; I've been in numerous crowds since being back at uni. On more than one occasion, I got suspicious and took a RAT in sheer disbelief of the negative. I even thought that maybe, somehow, I'd gotten it at some point and just didn't know. But alas, it caught up to me eventually. Fortunately, it very much is a situation now where all of my friends (metaphorically) jumped off a bridge and naturally, I jumped too. The 445 Million other people who have Covid right now will not deter me from acting like I am the only person suffering through the week. I'm not saying that my mum's butter beef cures covid, but I am saying that it would definitely help me right now. I also managed to get my period two days into my isolation, at the height of my covid symptoms. I'd apologise for giving too much information there. Still, I'm writing this on international women's day, and I'm incredibly exhausted with pretending that women don't bleed and shit like everyone else. I talked to some friends who had experienced the same thing. Of course, our phones listen to us, so I also saw TikToks, where someone got the deathly Covid-Period combo. I've got to say, I didn't even think of that as a possibility, but clearly, it's pretty standard. The biggest issue is that the magic from the painkillers went straight to the covid headache, and I was left in pain everywhere else. Last Sunday, I took a RAT. It was my 6th day of isolation, and I was supposed to be out of isolation on M

Hello hello hello! Welcome to you & welcome 2022! I hope everyone had a great few weeks with their loved ones or unluckily tucked away fighting covid. As I mentioned way back in 2021 - I decided to take a little break from posting over the Christmas & New Year holiday seasons. Hence, this is my first post back! I'm feeling refreshed and excited to get back into the ever-spinning hamster wheel of online content. So - what's what? Well, I'm glad you asked! This post is going to be just a quick little catch-up - inspired by and dedicated to those weird little "recounts" that our primary school teachers insisted we write in our first week back. Except I won't hate writing it as much. That said, I'm very ready to leave 2021 in the past - so I'm going to focus on my hopes for the new year. Setting ~the vibe~ As I mentioned in the last blog post, I make a playlist and a Pinterest board at the beginning of the year, determining the vibes. Below, you'll find my Pinterest board and Spotify playlist. Enjoy! Going home for Christmas Okay, now to quickly catch you up! I headed back home to Dubbo a few days before Christmas. I am proud to announce that I drove the 6-ish hours all by myself! I've never done that before! The last time I tried, I got hit by a truck! Honestly, it was a good drive. My driving anxiety was at an all-time minimum. I stopped a handful of times, either in the name of chicken McNuggets or to take in the scenery. I stopped at the Hydro Majestic - if you're unfamiliar, the hydro is this massive, old, beautiful hotel in the blue mountains. It has an incredible view - more so at sundown but still great midday. Funny thing - before I left my car to go sit around and take photos - I put my open, half drank can of coke on top of my car roof. When I came back, someone had stolen it. I'm not offended... that's just super weird. Also, my windows were wound down a tad to keep my car cool - why did you steal this half-empty can of coke and not my car? Thieves explain. It was so lovely to go home and spend time with loved ones and not have to use Waze to go anywhere. I ate a lot of Christmas ham, which of course is the best part and most important part of any Christmas. I also did some little photography jobs, ruined my skin by eating chocolate for breakfast and played a lot of candy crush. Good times. I got a film camera for Christmas, a beautiful Pentax 1000, and took a roll of photos while I was home. I wish I could insert those photos and encapsulate the 'being home' vibes, but I haven't had those developed yet. So you'll have to wait. In the meantime, here's a reel I made of videos from Dubbo. Some hometown thoughts... There's such a specific feeling to being home for Christmas. It's bizarre to step back into a space that made you who you are and observe all the ways that it has changed and stayed the same. It sounds obvious, but you really don't realize that the world keeps moving in your absence. There's so much comfort in knowing things. Knowing where every store is, knowing the way there and home, knowing your friends and family. There's also this stark discomfort with any of that changing. It's like you got to the end of the book, and then someone re-wrote the first chapter. I believe that most people would really benefit from leaving their hometown for a solid amount of time. It honestly makes you appreciate your upbringing and your hometown more. It was really interesting to observe and compare things. I wrote a little bit about those observations, and you can read that piece below. On to 2022... This year will undoubtedly come with its own set of challenges, but I have a good feeling about it. I think it's going to be a big year for me in terms of finally seeing the fruit of my labour. In my third year of university, I'll be turning 21 in May. Hopefully, Covid doesn't stop me from doing my journalism internship. At the moment, Covid is running rancid thr

Hello everyone! This will be my last post of the year, so Merry Christmas, happy holidays and happy new year in advance. If you've been keeping up, you know, I just write a minor life update every so often. The last one I wrote was about spending spring in lockdown. As I'm writing this, It is the first day of summer and the last month of this rollercoaster year. So this catch-up will just be a little look back at the year that was and thoughts about the year coming. I started this year with SO much optimism I love making playlists and Pinterest boards ready for the new year to kind of define my intentions for the year. I never end the year in the same spirit as I started it. Still, it's interesting to look back on it, so here are my 2021 inspo materials from January. If you check out the Pinterest board, there are basically three main elements - the colour green, conch piercings and tattoos. I did, in fact, achieve that energy this year, so that's awesome. The highlights My last post summarised many of my favourite achievements in terms of University and blog stuff, so I won't rehash that here. I've reflected on personal journeys throughout the year through the topics I've chosen to write about. I might not always speak from first-hand experience, but I wouldn't write about something that doesn't mean anything to me. It's interesting writing this post right now because I feel like I've already said everything I can about this year. I've made a conscious effort to live and learn and then replicate that knowledge and share it. I've written about ADHD and neurodivergence quite a bit because it was at the forefront of my mind for most of this year. I find it really rewarding to have gathered perspectives and information from other neurodivergent people, too. I've written a lot this year about the importance of spending time by yourself. I need to experience new things to feel happy, and at peace, so I spent a lot of my spare time this year just going on little adventures with myself. Living close to nature means that there are so many walking tracks and random little pockets of forest-like environments to explore. A big part of what makes adventuring valuable is the element of it that encourages you to trust your intuition and see what you find. I have an adventure challenge book that my parents got me for my birthday this year. That might seem like a funny gift, given we were put into lockdown a few weeks afterwards. It's definitely helpful to have guidance, but as with anything, the best experiences come on a whim. Lockdown definitely reinforced how honouring your own decisions and impulses is the best thing you can do for yourself. This is a pretty universal experience, but lockdown also made me realise how many opportunities I take for granted. Now that we've been allowed out a bit more, It's become quite unlikely that I'll say no to an experience. I figure if I say yes and it's a good time, excellent. If I say yes and it's a bad experience, I'll definitely learn something from it; at the least, it's a good story. There's nothing to be had but regret if you say no. There were, perhaps, some setbacks... While I think that overall, I had a very positive year. Of course, there was that car accident and the whole lockdown thing, but the worst parts of this year brought the greatest blessings. If there's a lesson I'm taking out of 2021, it's that mindset is everything. Prioritising yourself and your health and happiness really does take the negative weight off of less fortunate events. Do what makes you happy and healthy. Don't apologise for putting yourself first; it's your life. You should be living it for yourself, especially when you're young and not responsible for anyone else. There are always going to be challenging moments in life, but there's always something to gain. When you're okay internally, things don't feel like they happen TO you; they're just happening around

Before I jump into this week’s topic, I want to acknowledge that today is Remembrance day. I know it’s probably not 11 am as you’re reading this, but regardless it’s important to put some time aside today to remember those whose sacrifices gave way to our freedoms. We often take our privilege for granted, but we owe our safety, welfare, education, culture, wealth, families and lifestyles to those who gave up theirs in the wars. Speaking of freedom - lockdown is finally over! Well, mostly. We can’t go overseas or state-to-state willy nilly, but we don’t have to sit in our rooms, and that’s something! I’ve had the pleasure of being able to get out and about here and there. I’ve sat at a beach guilt-free, had a covid safe picnic with friends and gone out on the town. I got to celebrate Halloween and sit in restaurants to eat. I even got to travel back home to Dubbo last week to see my family and friends after what feels like a lifetime. But all this rediscovered freedom has got me thinking... it doesn’t feel like everything’s ‘back to normal’. I think we all know that “normal” is long gone. Ordinary things like going out in public without a mask still feel chaotic and dangerous, and I’m sure they will for a long time to come. There hasn’t been a lot of freely accessible research done on the topic, mainly because we’re essentially still in the thick of it - but it’s clear to me that the semi-permanent effects of the pandemic are far-reaching and, in some cases, surprising. So in this article, I want to explore those seemingly random effects. Post-lockdown anxiety is weird and layered There was a certain kind of anxiety that we all experienced during the lockdown. The monotony of scrolling through your Netflix recommendations trying to drown out the numbers of the news cycle. The hyper fixation of remembering your mask, remembering to check-in, remembering to sanitise... but forgetting what day of the week it is. We were in lockdown just long enough to get used to it all. Now, we don’t necessarily need to be so cautious. We’re vaccinated, we’re allowed out, we have our freedoms back. There’s obviously still some level of caution, but it’s not all-encompassing. We’re feeling this strange mix of hesitancy and urgency. We want to get out, we’re aware that sitting in a restaurant with our friends is a luxury, and we want to seize the day. On the other hand, I’m not sure I want to buy concert tickets and run the risk of yet another postponing. If you had social anxiety before lockdown, it’s likely been exacerbated during the lockdown. You’re more likely to meet up in person now, and it might be the first time you’ve hung out with people in months. It’s understandable if you find yourself forgetting small talk etiquette. If you have sweaty palms and heart palpitations and a racing mind while you’re sitting at the pub with your pals, fret not. You’re definitely not the only one. Personally, having the time alone over the last few months definitely helped me learn to cope with my mental health. Since getting out, I feel more confident talking to people, but it all feels strange, in a way. You might feel like a fish out of water - but that’s not it, exactly. You’re a fish who got plucked from your private little fishbowl and thrown into the aquarium. Gone are the days of the introvert-extrovert binary It’s been argued that lockdown is more difficult for extroverts - I disagree because no one is really an extrovert (nor is anyone an introvert). We all have extroverted and introverted tendencies and behaviours. We utilise them in the applicable scenarios. No one is okay with being alone all the time, and no one is okay having people around 24/7. However, I think our collective experience of lockdown as an extreme experiment in introversion has levelled many of us out. The people who identified heavily as introverts now recognise the appea

Featured Artwork: Build Bridges Not Walls by Olivia Domingos No matter how independent you think you are, it’s a known and proven fact that people need other people. We are pack animals. In a time where genuine human connection is becoming more and more elusive, we’re inevitably struggling with cultivating empathy. That’s not to say that we don’t have empathy for each other. But the more alone we are, the less practice we have, shifting perspectives and tying the laces with care when we put ourselves in the shoes of others. It’s really easy to fall victim to the idea that we all live the same experiences. Obviously, within logic, we know that’s not true. But we’re taught to understand others through our own experiences. Finding common ground is seen as the central element in understanding each other. I think on some level, sure, we have universal experiences, but everything is different depending on your personal context. So you absolutely can experience the same event as your neighbour and walk away, having perceived and processed it in opposite ways. In this way,’ having things in common’ is not central to forming fulfilling and positive interactions and relationships with the people around you. I raise the idea that common ground isn’t necessary for understanding. Maybe you don’t need to experience what someone else has undergone to create even a momentary human connection with them. Perhaps you just need to accept the differences between you and appreciate them. I was sitting in the middle row of a lecture hall in my first ever journalism class last year. I showed up early because I wasn’t sure about which classroom I was meant to be in. I was allowing time for being lost that I didn’t need because everyone had the same idea. I just followed the swarm of first-years following the one person in the crowd who knew her way around. We come in, sit down, and immediately turn to the person beside us, intending to make friends. A very pre-covid human experience, I must say. By the time the tutor walked in and started teaching, I’d already made friends with the guy next to me - we’d bonded over having the same kind of phone. We’d automatically searched for common ground. We sought out some path of seeing ourselves in the other. My tutor said something that’s stuck with me in every interaction I’ve had since that class. He said, “always approach every interaction carrying the assumption that this person knows something that you do not”. He was talking in the context of gathering interviews for news stories, but it’s excellent advice in any sense. You have to keep in mind that you don’t even know what you don’t know. Conversations with people who you don’t have anything in common with can be so unexpected and life-changing. You can’t live and grow in a bubble of people who agree with everything you say. I am someone who’s made a habit of immediate judgement. It’s something I’m working on, but I often find that when I meet a new person, I take my first impression of them and stick by it. I make my judgements quick and hard, with minimal foundation. But more and more, I try to leave conscious room for reconsideration. I welcome people to change my mind about them, I can re-adjust my perspective as I learn more, and that’s a really resourceful skill to have. Always approach every interaction carrying the assumption that this person knows something that you do not- UOW Journalism Professor Nobody is the same all the time, and as my Dad reminds me quite often, everyone has their own story. There’s always something I don’t know. That bully at school might have had a hard time at home, you can't take everything personally, because often - it's just so NOT personal. Everyone goes into interactions with their own set of events, thoughts and feelings that have shaped them. If I don’t give them a chance, I never get that context, and I unfairly minimi

Hello and welcome back to my BCM206 blog series. This week I've spoken to the ever-impressive Miss Taylor Housman (@Taylorlani2 on Twitter). I managed to get a reasonable quality recording of our conversation, so this time I've made a podcast instead of a transcript. You might be familiar with Taylor's incredible art, or more recently, the exquisite music-based blog posts she's graced us with over on her WordPress. I've had the pleasure of calling Taylor a friend for over a year now, so this interview flowed so naturally and lasted far longer than I expected. I've edited it down so that you can sit in on our conversation and have time left in your day. We talked about making friends outside of school, making your degree serve your interests, music, art, astrology, supporting each other, pop-punk, 5SOS, Tumblr and have a lot of laughs in between. Enjoy! “Cough, Cough”

Hey, legend. How's it going? Keeping your head down? Studying hard? Partying harder? Unconcerned about the possibility of global disease epidemics? Good. I can't say too much because I don't want to be responsible if writing to you changes the course of reality for the worse. But I want you to know that at the blissfully young age of seventeen, you should be taking your freedoms by the throat and squeezing them dry every single day. I know you've got those HSC exams coming up, and I know you feel like you've coasted through modern history and biology this year. At times, you struggle to pay attention in class, and the homework load is insane. I know you're going to spend hours this afternoon re-writing notes, trying to memorise the entire syllabus last minute. I won't tell you not to, but I wish you'd learn to identify and prevent burnout. And for the love of God, I wish you'd realise how completely insignificant that mark in advanced English is in the grand scheme of your life. You know those insanely complex numbers and graphs and speeches you receive in years 11 and 12? Yeah, it's all rubbish. None of it makes logical sense, and none of it is ethically sound. Most of it is pointless. It's too late to change it now, but you might have been happier choosing music instead of legal studies. You would have been more content going to training every week than you were burning yourself out re-writing notes. It's a ridiculous expectation that's put on you and your peers; to make decisions to shape the rest of your life - when you've barely gotten started. Your school pushes students towards university like there's no other respectable option, and that's simply not true. By the time you're 20, two of your siblings have apprenticeships locked down in occupations they love, and they're certainly making more money than you are. Money isn't everything, and neither is tertiary education. High school does a poor job at accommodating different types of people and different definitions of success. You're going to get a few really exciting emails soon. You'll thank Mrs Quade (God bless her soul) for nagging you about applying for universities. You get accepted to every university that you apply to before you even sit your HSC. Bathurst. Newcastle, UNSW, and Wollongong. I know you hated the journalism professor at CSU Bathurst. I know that open day made you feel hopeless and heartbroken, but screw that guy. Unfortunately, many older journalists are vivaciously arrogant and condescending, and he was one of them. A journalism degree is not out of reach, the field is not as challenging to get into as he said, and you 100% do have what it takes to build a fulfilling and successful career. But, just so you know, that ATAR you worked so hard for doesn't hold any weight at all outside of high school. Some people won't find their passions and build their careers for many years following graduation, and there's nothing wrong with that. But you've already found your purpose, and you're pretty clear on what you want. You don't consider your options for very long. You know that you've wanted UOW since you were like 12, and after an excellent interview, they send you an unconditional offer of acceptance to your dream degree. The degree is fantastic, the campus is awesome. I know you haven't done a lot of research, and you've never visited UOW, but your gut feeling is dead right this time. You're made to live in a rainforest and create endless art. This is as close as you get. Genuinely, your work ethic right now astounds me. This is definitely the most considerable workload you'll ever have to manage, but you've got this. Your marks don't hurt, but success isn't based on numbers, especially for creatives. Your value is based on the quality of your character, not on your analysis of Shakespeare's Hamlet. You didn't get in based on your application; hell, they barely looked at your marks. They wanted to talk about your hobbie

I want to start this article off with a disclaimer. I'm about to do a bunch of generalising. Logically, I cannot speak to the experience of ALL women, nor of ALL men. I am not making these generalisations with the intention of stereotyping anyone. I am simplifying through the use of generalisation, to point out gender-related phenomena that I have noticed, and discuss possible causes and effects. Now that that's out of the way - I have a question for you. "Kindness is weakness" - we've heard it all before. But is it true? More importantly, is it true for everyone, in every scenario? I'm going to try to answer these questions in two parts. Firstly, how do we define weakness through masculinity? And secondly, how do we define kindness in masculinity? Part One: Weakness in Masculitnity I'd argue that kindness isn't weakness unless the kindness is damaging for the person giving it. Kindness is, on a basic level, putting someone else's feelings above your own, and making your decisions based on how they feel. Weakness therefore can be seen in the disconnect between how someone feels and how someone acts. If you look at it this way, you aren't weak for expressing your emotions (or, indeed, not expressing your emotions); but weakness comes from a shortage of internal understanding of your feelings. The problem is, men are socialised to feel uncomfortable discussing their emotions, even on a casual level. From a young age, they're told to 'toughen up' in response to tantrums. They're not told 'calm down and explain what's wrong'. As a result, they miss out on developing the skills to identify, articulate, and express their inner emotions, and they become accustomed to 'bottling it up', and 'getting on with it'. The stoic, strong, Aussie-battler expectation of men, is one that harms everyone. According to a report carried out by the Australian Institute of Professional Councillors, patterns of emotional repression result in bigger emotional outbursts in men, that contribute directly to domestic violence. Also, poor mental health directly correlates with physical illness. Consider how many men aren't comfortable going to the doctor when they're sick, because of social expectations around unrealistic 'strength', exemplified through phenomena like 'the man flu'. The higher rates of early death among men likely result from this harmful 'stoic' stereotype. According to Lifeline, an average of 9 Australians die of suicide per day. 75% of these are men. Throughout the drought, depression and suicide rates amongst men between 40-85 in rural Australia were recorded at an all-time high. The social systems, expectations and stereotypes that cause this harm are difficult to break free of. On paper, it seems as though sharing your feelings is an easy step to make. But men who choose to step outside of toxic masculinity and share their feelings openly are actively destroying the pillars and structures by which they understand their reality. It runs so deep, on a personal and a societal level, that doing something as simple as crying in front of a friend, as a man, is a radical step, with many possible repercussions. I won't pretend to know the answer or solution for this problem, but I think it's important to be aware of the way that men and women are socialised to experience personal reality in vastly different ways. Part Two: Kindness in Masculinity We somewhat unknowingly draw a link between what is 'right' and what is 'kind' - and they're not always the same thing. The reason for this comes back to kindness defined as putting someone else before yourself. Sometimes, it is morally correct to put yourself first. You can't pour from an empty cup. Morality is not the same as kindness. Problems such as the phenomena of the 'nice guy' emerge when we confuse the two. Men are championed for displaying any sense of morality (in theory, kindness), and scrutinised when showing emotion (weakness). As I said befo