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What happens when you achieve the thing you thought would make you feel successful…and it doesn’t? Bree Katulak knows that feeling. A seasoned executive, CPA, entrepreneur, and host of the Unstoppable You podcast, Bree built a career that included CFO, CEO, and President roles. When she reached the C-suite, she expected the moment to feel different — almost as if “confetti was going to fall from the sky.” Instead, she found herself asking: Is this it? That question began a journey of examining how she had defined success — and how much of that definition had actually been inherited from other people. In this conversation, Bree and I explore what she calls the “invisible scorecard”: the external measures we can unconsciously use to determine whether we're succeeding — achievement, status, productivity, money, competition, and what other people think of us. For Bree, redefining that scorecard has meant shifting: Winning → WholenessStatus → Self-trustProductivity → Presence We talk about why achievement can become connected to worthiness, the pressure to constantly be doing, and how difficult it can be to simply “be where your feet are.” I share how, even five years into my post-corporate life, I can still catch myself hurrying as though there isn't enough time — even when I'm the one deciding how to spend it. Bree shares that presence is something she is still practicing, too. Because redefining success isn't necessarily something we do once. It may be something we keep choosing. In this episode, we explore: Bree’s “invisible scorecard” and the definitions of success we inherit Why reaching a major career milestone didn't feel the way she expected How achievement can become tangled up with worthiness Moving from winning to wholeness, status to self-trust, and productivity to presence Why being busy can become part of our identity The “masks” we wear to meet other people's expectations How our core values can help us create a more personal definition of success Trusting ourselves enough to choose a different path Bree also answers my favorite question: What would you tell your 20-something self today? Her answer: Trust your instincts and believe in who you are. About Bree Katulak Bree Katulak is a seasoned executive, CPA, entrepreneur, and host of the Unstoppable You podcast. With a career spanning CFO, CEO, and President roles, Bree has led organizations through transformation, growth, and strategic change. After years of chasing the next milestone, she began questioning what success really meant. Today, through Unstoppable Momentum and her podcast, she helps leaders and ambitious women challenge traditional definitions of success, reconnect with what matters most, and build lives and careers aligned with who they truly are. Her message: Success isn’t about winning the game everyone expects you to play. It’s about having the courage to define your own. Connect with Bree 🌐 BreeKatulak.com🎙️ Unstoppable You — Spotify, Apple Podcasts & YouTube📸 Instagram: @momof4kaddies📘 Facebook: Bree Katulak💼 LinkedIn: Bree Katulak, CPA▶️ YouTube: Unstoppable You🏢 RenoSys Corporation Mentioned in this episode 📖 Be Where Your Feet Are by Scott O’Neil Connect with Girl, Take the Lead! 🌐 www.girltaketheleadpod.com🎧 www.girltaketheleadpod.com/listen▶️ YouTube: @GirlTaketheLead📸 Instagram: @yocanny💼 LinkedIn: Yo Canny📘 Facebook Group: Girl, Take the Lead! What invisible scorecard might you still be using to measure your success?

What happens when someone you love crosses a threshold—and suddenly you realize you’re standing at one, too? My husband is making a career pivot, looking for more balance and choice in how he spends his time. Five years ago, I stood at a similar threshold after leaving a 42-year corporate career. I knew what I was leaving, but not what I would find on the other side. Eventually, podcasting, art, new rhythms, and a new sense of identity became part of the life I built. Now it’s his turn to discover what comes next. But his transition has raised another question for me: What will his change mean for us? Because change doesn’t always happen directly to us. Sometimes it enters through someone we love. A partner changes careers. A child begins a new chapter. A parent needs more from us. A friend moves away. Their life changes—and the landscape of ours changes, too. This Threshold also led me to something I’ve noticed in myself and other women: caring can sometimes feel like an all-or-nothing proposition. If we care for someone else, we’re loving and generous. If we protect what we need, are we being selfish? What if that’s a false choice? What if love can make room for both? In This Episode We explore: Why someone else’s transition can become our threshold, tooThe uncertainty between one identity and whatever comes nextResisting the urge to solve someone else’s transitionCaring for someone we love without losing ourselvesWhy self-care and generosity don’t have to be oppositesHow relationships evolve because the people within them keep evolvingWhy a strong “we” can hold two evolving “I’s” Questions Maybe the question isn’t simply: Who am I now? Or: Who are you now? Maybe sometimes life asks: Who are we now? And perhaps we discover the answer by living our way into what comes next. Has someone else’s change ever created a transition in your life?Is it difficult to make room for your needs while caring for someone you love?Where might you be treating care as an either/or choice?What could become possible if there were room for you, me, and us? Reflection At the Threshold is a reflection series about the life transitions that quietly reshape us—and the unexpected gifts we discover as we walk through them. About At the Threshold 🌿 Explore the series:https://girltaketheleadpod.com/threshold Coming Next Next on Girl, Take the Lead!, I’m joined by Bree Katulak—executive, entrepreneur, TEDx speaker, and host of the Unstoppable You Podcast. We explore Bree’s “invisible scorecard,” the definitions of success we inherit, and what happens when reaching the milestone doesn’t feel the way we expected. We’ll talk about achievement and worthiness, the masks we wear, our core values, and moving from winning to wholeness, status to self-trust, and productivity to presence. Connect 🌐 https://girltaketheleadpod.com🎧 https://girltaketheleadpod.com/listen💌 https://girltaketheleadpod.com/newsletter🛍️ https://girltaketheleadpod.com/shop Until next time... Listen inward.Lead outward. And remember... Sometimes when someone we love crosses a threshold, we discover we’re standing at one, too.

My daughters, Emma and Kiki, had one condition before agreeing to come back on Girl, Take the Lead! for our Slang Challenge rematch: It had to be FUN. That simple request got me thinking. Somewhere along the way, many of us learned to value working hard, being productive, getting things right and taking important things seriously. But where does fun fit? And have we sometimes become so focused on doing things well that we turn even the things we enjoy into another kind of work? In this Sound Bite, we're exploring fun as something deeply individual - something that might show up through laughter, art, crafting, sports, comedy, time with people we love, or simply being willing to look a little silly. Maybe fun gives us a chance to put down the need to perform. And maybe meaningful things can happen when we do. Questions I'm Thinking About What does fun look like for you? When are you most likely to laugh at yourself? Where has something you enjoy started to feel like work? What could you do simply because it's fun - with no expectation of being good at it? The Conversation That Inspired This Sound Bite Maybe every experience doesn't need to accomplish something. What if fun really is the point? 🎧 Episode 327 - The Slang Challenge Is Back: Can Mom Keep Up? My daughters Emma and Kiki return for a rematch of one of our earliest Girl, Take the Lead! episodes. There are new words, old words, Gen Alpha surprises and plenty of laughter. Coming Next - Threshold Next, we're returning to our Threshold series. Five years ago, I made a major career pivot. I had no idea podcasting and art would become part of what I discovered on the other side. Now my husband, Steve, is making a career pivot of his own, hopefully toward more balance. Which has me wondering: Who are we after a major life change? What will he discover? And what might his change mean for us? Yipes! That's where we'll go in our next Threshold episode. 🌐 www.girltaketheleadpod.com🎧 www.girltaketheleadpod.com/listen▶️ YouTube: @GirlTakeTheLead📸 Instagram: @yocanny #Fun #PersonalGrowth #GirlTakeTheLead

When I asked my daughters, Emma and Kiki, if they’d come back to Girl, Take the Lead!, they had one request: It had to be FUN. Challenge accepted. Back in 2022, Emma, our Millennial, and Kiki, our Gen Zer, joined me for Episode 22, “The Slang Challenge: How Many Do You Know?” They tested their Boomer mom on Millennial and Gen Z slang, I tested them on Boomer slang - and let’s just say Mom had some catching up to do. More than 300 episodes later, we decided it was time for a rematch. This time there’s aura farming, canon events, rizz, crashing out - and a few Boomer terms thrown in for good measure. And I have to say... Mom does a little better this time. But somewhere between the guessing, teasing and laughing, we discover something none of us really expected: some of the slang Emma and Kiki are teaching me doesn’t even belong to their generations anymore. Gen Alpha has entered the chat. Suddenly, my daughters are beginning to experience what it feels like to hear a younger generation use words they don’t completely understand. Funny how that happens. Maybe that’s part of what makes conversations like this so much fun. Language changes. Generations change. We change. And staying curious about one another gives us another way to stay connected. We also continue one of my favorite Girl, Take the Lead! traditions and ask Emma and Kiki what they would tell their younger 20-something selves today. Their answers take our very silly conversation somewhere more meaningful - into relaxing, trusting ourselves, expressing what we really feel, and realizing we don’t have to make everyone happy. In This Episode, We Talk About: How slang travels across Millennial, Gen Z, Gen Alpha and Boomer generations Whether Mom has gotten any better since our first challenge The difference between something that slaps and food that’s smackin’ What happens when Millennials and Gen Z start hearing slang from a generation younger than they are What Emma and Kiki would tell their younger 20-something selves The Slang Challenge How many of these do you know? The younger-generation challenge for Mom:Aura Farming • Looks Maxing • Being Cooked • Cheugy • Canon Event • Rizz • Crash Out • Cap • Bet • Slap • Smackin’ Mom’s challenge for Emma & Kiki:Moo Juice • Aggro • Fink • Dish It Out • Loaded • Split More About Emma & Kiki Emma Canny - our Millennial Her career has taken her from paralegal work into contract and strategic sourcing roles in the tech world. Emma is also co-host of Booking Wild with Emma and Fran, where two book-loving friends talk about - you guessed it - books! She also shares her love of reading as @leatherboundgremlin on IG. And since our original Slang Challenge, Emma has gotten married - giving us a few new “canon events” to talk about! Kiki Canny - our Gen Zer After working in development and marketing for a nonprofit serving young people, Kiki moved into the tech world and landed what she calls her dream job. Her love of gaming, internet culture, creativity and all things a little spooky gives her a definite advantage in this Slang Challenge. And yes, she now has another very important member of the family: her dog, Chubbs. Play Along With Us Think you know Gen Z slang better than I do? Take the Gen Z Slang Quiz from wikiHow and see how you do. Then go back to where it all began: Episode 22 - The Slang Challenge: How Many Do You Know? One fun difference: back in 2022, Girl, Take the Lead! was audio only. This time, you get to see all three of us trying to figure each other out! Ways to Connect 🌐 Girl, Take the Lead!www.girltaketheleadpod.com 🎧 Listen wherever you get your podcasts:www.girltaketheleadpod.com/listen ▶️ YouTube: @GirlTaketheLead 📸 Instagram:Yo: @yocannyEmma: @leatherboundgremlinKiki: @keeks.ters 💼 LinkedIn:Yo CannyEmma CannyKiki Canny 📘 Facebook Group: Girl, Take the Lead! Coming Next Our next Sound Bite, I want to explore a different question: What if fun is the point?

What happens when we’re in conflict with someone who sees things very differently than we do? This Sound Bite (8:41) was inspired by Yo’s conversation with Charlotte Reed, who talked about approaching disagreement with grace—listening to people’s lived experiences and considering the possibility that they may believe they’re trying to do the right thing, too. That got Yo thinking about something she’s been exploring in her own life: Intention. It’s easy to say we have good intentions. But is intention enough? What if being intentional in conflict means becoming more aware of what matters to us, getting curious about what may matter to the other person, and then choosing actions that reflect our values? In this reflection, Yo explores: Why we naturally gravitate toward people who see the world as we doWhat happens when differences move to the center of a relationshipThe difference between intention and intentional actionWhether we can respect someone’s intention without agreeing with their conclusionWhy curiosity about the other person isn’t enough—we also need to examine ourselvesThe uncomfortable question: Do I want to understand—or do I want to win? A Question to Take With You Maybe good intentions aren’t enough. But perhaps they give us somewhere to begin. When I’m in conflict with someone, can I get curious about their intention while also getting clear about my own? Listen to the Conversation That Inspired This Sound Bite 🎧 Episode 325 — Leading with Grace: Making Space for Different Views with Charlotte Reed ▶️ Watch Episode 325 on YouTube Connect with Girl, Take the Lead! 🌐 Website: www.girltaketheleadpod.com🎧 Listen: www.girltaketheleadpod.com/listen▶️ YouTube: @GirlTaketheLead📸 Instagram: @yocanny💼 LinkedIn: Yo Canny📘 Facebook Group: Girl, Take the Lead!

What happens when we step toward disagreement instead of away from it? In this episode of Girl, Take the Lead!, Yo talks with Charlotte Reed, a communications professional, community organizer, and candidate for Menlo Park City Council, District 4, in California. Charlotte’s path to public service grew from a lifelong commitment to service—and from seeing what can happen when neighbors who care deeply about their community begin talking past one another. During one particularly difficult City Council meeting, Charlotte found herself thinking: there has to be a better way. That experience helped move her toward running for office and toward a leadership approach grounded in listening, communication, and finding common ground. Charlotte shares how she approaches people whose views may be very different from her own. Rather than beginning with disagreement, she tries to remember that we each bring our own lived experiences, information, and values to a conversation. In this episode: The conversation explores what it means to lead with grace without expecting everyone to agree. We also talk about something Charlotte has learned from knocking on thousands of doors and talking with people throughout her community: Sometimes leadership is simply about showing up. How a commitment to service led Charlotte toward public officeThe connection between communication, storytelling, and leadershipWhat she’s learned from talking with thousands of people in her communityListening and finding commonality when views differWhy showing up mattersHope, community, and rebuilding trustSeparating outcomes from our worthCharlotte’s reminder: “What’s meant for you won’t miss you.”Why serious work still needs moments that make us laugh About Charlotte Reed: Charlotte combines a career in corporate communications with years of community service. She has led growth initiatives at multi-billion-dollar companies and has been a Junior League member for nearly a decade, helping build connections with elected officials and nonprofit partners around housing, food, and other community needs. She holds a BA in Public Relations and Strategic Communication from American University, with a minor in Spanish Language and a certificate in Spanish Translation, and is a 2026 graduate of the Emerge California political candidate training program. Connect with Charlotte 🌐 Website: charlotteformenlopark.com💙 Campaign donations: Charlotte Reed campaign donation page📸 Instagram: @thecharlottereed💼 Facebook: Charlotte Reed▶️ TikTok: @thecharlottereed🧵 Threads: @thecharlottereed🦋 Bluesky: Charlotte Reed This Week’s Sound Bite Charlotte’s approach to disagreement left Yo thinking about intention. What happens when we enter conflict curious about another person’s intention—and equally willing to examine our own? Conflict Resolution: Is Intention Enough? Connect with Girl, Take the Lead! 🌐 Website: www.girltaketheleadpod.com🎧 Listen: www.girltaketheleadpod.com/listen▶️ YouTube: @GirlTaketheLead📸 Instagram: @yocanny💼 LinkedIn: Yo Canny📘 Facebook Group: Girl, Take the Lead!

What does it really mean to care for ourselves? This Sound Bite (9:17) was inspired by my recent conversation with Riana Malia, where we talked about love, identity, the patterns we carry, and what can happen when we get clear about who we are and what we want. I initially thought this reflection would be about loving ourselves. But the more I sat with it, the more I wondered whether loving ourselves and caring for ourselves are quite the same thing. We may love ourselves and still push through when we're tired. We may recognize what we need and still have trouble giving it to ourselves. We may be wonderful at caring for other people while finding it much harder to receive care—or even to accept where we are without immediately trying to fix or improve something. For me, that connects to my own patterns around achievement and to something I discovered when I took Riana's Extraordinary Love Index™: my pattern was “She Carries.” I've spent much of my life being the person who figures things out, gets things done, and carries what needs carrying. Those qualities have served me well. But I'm beginning to wonder whether caring for ourselves sometimes asks something different of us. Before we can care for ourselves, perhaps we first have to pay attention to ourselves—and accept what we notice. In This Sound Bite, I Explore: The difference between loving ourselves and caring for ourselvesHow achievement can sometimes get in the way of careWhy accepting where we are may need to come before trying to change itThe messages and beliefs we may carry without realizing itHow someone else's “no” can make us wonder about the voices we've begun carrying as our ownWhy care isn't always about doing what feels goodWhat it can mean to allow someone else to care for usLearning to ask not “How do I fix this?” but “What do I need?” A Question to Consider Because caring for ourselves doesn't have to become one more thing to achieve. Maybe it begins with meeting ourselves where we are—with attention, acceptance, and kindness. What do I need right now—and can I accept that need without judging myself for having it? Mentioned in This Episode Episode 323: Clear the Story, Create the Life: Who Are You Becoming? with Riana Malia Take the Extraordinary Love Index™:https://www.taketheeli.com/ Connect with Riana Malia:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rianamalia/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RianaMalia/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rianamalia/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@rianamalia Coming Next Next time, I welcome a very special guest, Charlotte Reed. Charlotte brings together two worlds that don't always get talked about in the same conversation: a corporate career leading growth initiatives and years of community activism focused on needs including affordable housing, food, and essential provisions for individuals and families. We'll talk about leadership, community, and what she's learned about bringing together the people and priorities needed to create meaningful impact. She's a living example of bravery, courage, and inspiration—and I think you're going to enjoy meeting her. Connect with Girl, Take the Lead! Website: https://girltaketheleadpod.comYouTube: @GirlTakeTheLeadLinkedIn: Yolanda “Yo” CannyInstagram: @girltaketheleadpodFacebook: Girl, Take the Lead!Pinterest: Girl, Take the Lead! 🎧 Listen wherever you enjoy podcasts.

What if understanding our patterns isn't the same as changing them? In this episode of Girl, Take the Lead!, I talk with Riana Malia, a Board-Certified Integrative Neurosomatic Practitioner and identity architect for high-achieving women. Riana's own journey—and the work that grew from it—invites us to look at the stories and patterns we carry, what can keep us repeating them even when we understand them, and the role clarity can play in creating something different. As Riana puts it: “We have to clear the story to create the life.” We explore her approach of Clear, Create, Claim and some deceptively simple questions: Who are you now? What do you want? And what happens when beliefs like I can't have it, I don't deserve it, I'm not worthy, or I'm too old make those questions difficult to answer? I also get a little vulnerable in this conversation. Before we recorded, I took Riana's Extraordinary Love Index™, a 30-question assessment designed to identify patterns that may be influencing our relationships. My result? “She Carries.” That one landed. I've spent much of my life being the person who takes care of things, figures things out, and carries more than I probably need to. In This Episode, We Explore: Riana's personal journey and how it shaped the work she does todayThe difference between understanding a pattern and actually changing itHer Clear, Create, Claim frameworkWhy getting clear about our values, desires, and non-negotiables mattersThe beliefs that can make it difficult to name what we really wantThe Extraordinary Love Index™ and my “She Carries” patternWhy high-achieving women may be particularly comfortable carrying and managingWhat it can mean to allow someone else to step forwardReceiving care rather than always being the one providing itWhat Riana would tell her 20-something self todayThe Brave Butterfly card she chose and its connection to transformation Three Takeaways 1. Knowing our patterns isn't necessarily the same as changing them.Understanding where something came from and why we do what we do can be valuable—but awareness may be the beginning rather than the end of change. 2. Clarity matters.Before we can create something different, we have to allow ourselves to ask what we actually want—not what we think we should want, what we've learned to accept, or what we believe is available to us. 3. Being capable doesn't mean we have to carry everything.There can be strength in letting someone else step forward, allowing ourselves to receive rather than manage, and sometimes deciding that something doesn't need to be carried at all. About Riana Malia Riana Malia is a Board-Certified Integrative Neurosomatic Practitioner and identity architect for high-achieving women who have built extraordinary lives but are seeking love that matches them. She is the creator of The Extraordinary Love Method™ and the Extraordinary Love Index™ and has spent the past decade working with hundreds of clients. Riana has appeared on more than 100 podcasts and is the author of The Last Piece on Substack. Take the Extraordinary Love Index™ https://www.taketheeli.com/ Connect with Riana Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/rianamalia/Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RianaMalia/LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rianamalia/YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@rianamalia Coming Next Our conversation left me thinking about one more question. We talk a lot about loving ourselves. But how well do we actually care for ourselves? And what can make that difficult—especially when we're accustomed to achieving, carrying, fixing, and taking care of everyone else? That's where I'll go in the next Sound Bite: Caring for Ourselves: What Can Get in the Way? Connect with Girl, Take the Lead! Website: https://girltaketheleadpod.comYouTube: @GirlTakeTheLeadLinkedIn: Yolanda “Yo” CannyInstagram: @girltaketheleadpodFacebook: Girl, Take the Lead!Pinterest: Girl, Take the Lead! 🎧 Listen wherever you enjoy podcasts.

What happens when someone says something about us—and before they’ve even finished speaking, we’re already preparing our defense? That’s not what I meant. That’s not what happened. You don’t understand. Defensiveness can show up quickly. We explain. We justify. We shut down. We counterattack. Or we become so focused on proving that we’re right that we stop listening. But what if defensiveness isn’t simply something we need to get rid of? What if it’s trying to tell us something? In this Sound Bite, inspired by my recent conversation with Kerry Siggins about hard conversations, feedback, and trust, I explore defensiveness through a different lens: not judgment, but curiosity. Our brains are designed to help protect us. And the things we perceive as threatening aren’t always physical. Feedback can bump up against our sense of competence, our intentions, our identity, our belonging—or an older story we carry about ourselves. That may be why a comment that seems relatively small can sometimes create such a big reaction. A Question to Consider Kerry offered a question in our conversation that got me thinking: Am I trying to be right—or am I willing to be curious? Because being curious doesn’t mean the other person is right. It doesn’t mean we have to accept everything someone says about us. And it doesn’t mean poorly delivered feedback suddenly becomes okay. It simply creates enough room for us to ask: Is there something here I can learn? This reflection also inspired the third Girl, Take the Lead! Reflection Panel: When DEFENSIVENESS shows up... PAUSE What am I protecting? Am I trying to be right? What can I learn? How do I want to respond? That last question matters. The PAUSE Because the goal isn’t to never feel defensive. The goal may be to notice when it happens—and create enough space between the feeling and our response to choose what comes next. Maybe we own something. Maybe we apologize. Maybe we ask another question. Maybe we clarify what we meant. Maybe we ask for time to process. And sometimes, after considering what we’ve heard, we may decide that the feedback simply doesn’t belong to us. Receiving feedback doesn’t require accepting all of it. It asks us to be willing to examine it. The Girl, Take the Lead! Reflection Panels are handmade reminders designed to help us pause, reflect, and get curious when familiar feelings or patterns show up. You can find the Reflection Panels and other handmade cards in the Girl, Take the Lead! shop: Girl, Take the Lead! Shop The next time defensiveness shows up, instead of judging it or immediately acting on it, what might happen if you ask: What is this trying to tell me? Listen to the Conversation That Inspired This Sound Bite 321. Hard Conversations: Clarity, Kindness, and Trust with Kerry Siggins Available on Girl, Take the Lead! wherever you enjoy podcasts. Connect with Girl, Take the Lead! Website: girltaketheleadpod.comYouTube: Girl, Take the Lead!LinkedIn: Yolanda “Yo” CannyInstagram: @girltaketheleadpodFacebook: Girl, Take the Lead!Pinterest: Girl, Take the Lead! Coming Next Next time, I’m joined by Riana Malia, an identity architect for high-achieving women who’ve built extraordinary lives—except for the thing they may want most: love that matches them. Riana is a Board-Certified Integrative Neurosomatic Practitioner and creator of the Extraordinary Love Method™ and Extraordinary Love Index™. And yes—I took the Index myself. We’ll explore the patterns we may carry into love and relationships, what those patterns may be trying to protect, and what can happen when we begin to see them more clearly.

What makes a hard conversation so hard? Sometimes it’s what we need to say. Sometimes it’s what we’re afraid we’ll hear. And sometimes it’s the story we’ve already told ourselves about what will happen if we speak honestly. In this episode of Girl, Take the Lead!, I’m joined by Kerry Siggins, CEO of StoneAge and author of Talk with Trust: How to Own Feedback, Spark Growth, and Build Stronger Teams. And we begin the conversation a little differently—with three deep breaths. It’s a practice Kerry uses with her own team to help people become more present before stepping into the work ahead. And it turns out to be a fitting way to begin a conversation about feedback, trust, emotional reactions, and the courage it takes to say what needs to be said. Kerry shares her SHARES model for approaching difficult conversations with greater clarity, curiosity, and intention. We explore why trust is at the heart of meaningful feedback, why being direct and being kind aren’t opposites, and why we’re responsible for how we show up in a conversation—but not for controlling the other person’s response. We also talk about what happens when we’re on the receiving end of feedback. Kerry shares a painful experience when someone close to her told her she was “erratic” and difficult to work for. Her first reaction was anger. She wanted to defend herself. Instead, she gave herself time and eventually asked a powerful question: What can I own in this feedback? That question helped her separate the way the feedback was delivered from what might still be useful for her to hear. I share a difficult feedback experience from my own corporate career, and together Kerry and I look at what might have changed if curiosity had been part of that conversation. Throughout our discussion, we return to the power of the pause—giving ourselves space when we’re triggered rather than immediately defending, explaining, or reacting. Kerry challenges us to consider: Am I trying to be right—or accurate?Right—or curious?Right—or influential? Because hard conversations aren’t just workplace conversations. These skills matter with our partners, our children, our friends, our neighbors—and anyone with whom we want to build trust. In this episode, we explore: Why trust is at the heart of giving and receiving feedbackKerry’s SHARES framework for hard conversationsWhy clarity and kindness belong togetherThe difference between describing behavior and judging someone personallyWhat defensiveness may be trying to protectWhy curiosity can change the direction of a difficult conversationHow taking a pause can help us respond rather than reactWhat we are—and aren’t—responsible for in another person’s reactionThe often-overlooked consequences of not having the conversationWhy feedback can still contain something useful even when it isn’t delivered well About Kerry Siggins In 2023, Kerry was named an EY Entrepreneur Of The Year and Colorado CEO of the Year. She is a speaker, podcast host, and contributor to Forbes and Entrepreneur. She is the author of The Ownership Mindset: A Handbook for Transforming Your Life and Leadership and Talk with Trust: How to Own Feedback, Spark Growth, and Build Stronger Teams. Connect with Kerry Website: kerrysiggins.comLinkedIn: Kerry SigginsYouTube: Kerry SigginsPodcast: The Kerry Siggins PodcastBooks: The Ownership Mindset and Talk with Trust Connect with Girl, Take the Lead! Website: girltaketheleadpod.comYouTube: Girl, Take the Lead!LinkedIn: Yolanda “Yo” CannyInstagram: @girltaketheleadpodFacebook: Girl, Take the Lead!Pinterest: Girl, Take the Lead! Listen to Girl, Take the Lead! wherever you enjoy podcasts. A question to consider Is there a conversation you’ve been avoiding—and what might be the cost of not having it?

Why can our own patterns be so difficult to see? You might think repetition would make them obvious. But what if repetition does the opposite—making our patterns feel so familiar that we stop noticing them? In this Sound Bite (12:56), Yo reflects on her recent conversation with Broadway actress, author, and success coach Leslie Becker about limiting beliefs and Leslie’s Gotcha Exercise. That conversation led Yo to wonder about the patterns that keep showing up in our lives. Maybe we keep taking responsibility for everything. Maybe we avoid asking for help. Maybe we say yes and then feel resentful. Maybe we become defensive when someone questions us. Each individual experience may have a perfectly reasonable explanation. But what happens when we stop looking at them separately and ask: What keeps repeating here? Yo explores how a recurring pattern may point us toward beliefs we haven't recognized yet—and how those beliefs and patterns can begin reinforcing one another. If I believe I have to take care of everything myself, I may not ask for help. Then I end up taking care of everything myself. And suddenly I have more evidence for the belief: See? I knew I couldn't depend on anyone. Round and round we go. In This Sound Bite: Why repetition can actually make our patterns harder to seeHow the circumstances can change while our roles, reactions, or emotions remain familiarThe question: Who do I keep becoming when this happens?Why finding the belief underneath a pattern can take some diggingHow Yo uses journaling to move beneath the explanation or story she already knowsByron Katie’s invitation to question what we believe: Is it true?How beliefs and patterns may reinforce one anotherWhy recognizing a pattern doesn't mean we've changed itHow awareness can create enough space for a different choiceWhy compassionate curiosity may be more useful than judgmentThe quieter bravery involved in looking honestly at ourselves As Yo reflects: We can't question a belief we haven't found.And we can't change a pattern we can't see. Maybe the first step isn't asking ourselves what we need to change. Maybe it's simply becoming curious about what keeps showing up. A Question to Consider: What keeps repeating in your life—and what might it be asking you to see? Coming Next on Girl, Take the Lead! Yo’s next guest is Kerry Siggins, CEO of StoneAge and author of Talk with Trust: How to Own Feedback, Spark Growth, and Build Stronger Teams. Kerry and Yo explore feedback, trust, difficult conversations, and the courage it takes not only to say what needs to be said—but to hear it. Kerry also shares her SHARES model for navigating difficult conversations, while she and Yo consider another kind of pattern worth noticing: What happens inside us when feedback makes us defensive? Can we notice the reaction, pause, and stay in the conversation rather than protect ourselves from what we're hearing? Until then, remember: Leadership takes bravery—and sometimes bravery begins with seeing the patterns we've learned not to see.

What if bravery isn’t something you’re born with? What if it’s something you choose? In this episode of Girl, Take the Lead!, I’m joined by Broadway actress, bestselling author, success coach, and host of the Unstoppably Creative Podcast, Leslie Becker, for a conversation about the beliefs we carry—and the bravery it can take to question them. Leslie spent years believing she simply wasn’t brave. Her sister, she thought, had gotten the “brave gene.” She also loved acting but was afraid to claim it as a career, convinced she wasn’t good at auditions and unsure she could actually make a living doing what she loved. Eventually, she began to see those thoughts for what they were: beliefs, not facts. That opened up a conversation between us about the stories we tell ourselves, where those stories come from, and how easily they can become part of our identity without our even realizing it. Leslie uses the metaphor of a coat—a role or belief we put on because of our experiences, expectations, or what others have told us about who we are. We can wear that coat for so long that we forget to ask: Is this actually mine? Sometimes we have to walk down a path before we can recognize that it isn’t ours. And maybe that recognition is part of living a brave life. In this conversation, we explore: Why bravery may be a choice rather than a personality traitHow limiting beliefs can quietly become part of our identityLeslie’s “Gotcha Exercise” for catching the conversations we repeatedly have with ourselvesWhy replacing an old belief requires practice—not a one-and-done affirmationHow to ask, Where did this belief come from? Is it mine or someone else’s?Why transitions can force us to reconsider who we are nowThe bravery required to admit when a path no longer belongs to usWhy creativity exists in all of us—even if we don’t consider ourselves “creative”How our creative gifts can find expression through art, business, problem-solving, performance, or simply the way we liveWhat it means to become unstoppably creative, even when we’re scaredAnd when I ask Leslie what she would tell her 20-something self, her answer brings us right back to where we began: You are way more brave than you realize you are. About Leslie Becker Leslie Becker is a Broadway actress of 25 years, bestselling author of The Organized Actor®, host of the Unstoppably Creative Podcast, and a top success coach for creatives. With a 30-year career in the industry, Leslie has consistently offered books, courses, coaching, and digital tools for actors and entrepreneurs while continuing her own unstoppably creative journey. Whether helping entrepreneurs grow their businesses or bringing bold, creative experiences to light, Leslie is a force to help others build a business and a life that is unapologetically their own. Connect with Leslie Website:https://lesliebecker.com The Organized Actor®:https://organizedactor.com Free Gotcha Exercise Guide:https://lesliebecker.com/landing/gotcha-exercise Instagram:https://instagram.com/thelesliebecker LinkedIn:https://www.linkedin.com/in/thelesliebecker/ Pinterest:https://www.pinterest.com/thelesliebecker YouTube / Unstoppably Creative:https://www.youtube.com/@unstoppablycreative Email: [email protected] Leslie’s Upcoming Fetching Water Concert Leslie is continuing her own unstoppably creative journey with Fetching Water, a musical she wrote with collaborator Michael Hunsaker. On September 12 in Nashville, Leslie will present a 45-minute concert presentation of songs from the musical at Analog at the Hutton Hotel. Concert Information & Tickets:https://www.analognashville.com/events/nmtn-presents-the-first-stage-3/ Follow Fetching Water on Instagram:https://instagram.com/fetchingwaterthemusical Three Takeaways 1. Bravery isn’t necessarily something we have. It’s something we practice. 2. Not every belief we carry belongs to us. 3. Creativity doesn’t disappear just because we stop calling ourselves creative.

What makes a friendship meaningful? Is it how long it lasts? How often we talk? Or could the gift of friendship be something else entirely—the experience of knowing another person and allowing ourselves to be known? This Sound Bite was inspired by my recent conversation with my longtime friend Roz Sobel. Roz and I met almost 50 years ago through work. Later, when I moved across the country to New York knowing only one person, that person was Roz. And then life did what life does. Our paths changed. Careers changed. Families grew. There were times when our lives were closely connected and times when they weren't. And almost 50 years later, there we were—together again for a conversation on Girl, Take the Lead! It got me thinking about the gift of friendship. There's a certain knowing that comes from sharing a particular time in someone's life. A childhood friend knew something about the child we once were. A work friend may understand a chapter of our career few others could. Friends we meet while raising children, experiencing loss or navigating a transition can become witnesses to versions of ourselves that no one we meet today can ever fully know. There is love and care in that. But I wonder if many of us also carry a belief that a really good friendship is supposed to last forever. What if it doesn't? Maybe some friendships aren't meant to accompany us through every chapter. Maybe their gift was the chapter we shared. The love was still real. The care was still real. What we gave one another still mattered. And sometimes we receive another wonderful gift: Our paths cross again. This reflection also connects to something somatic nurse coach Lisa Ketcham-Hendrickson shared with us recently: “This is always home.” If we can learn to come home to ourselves, perhaps we don't need another person to stay forever in order to prove that our relationship mattered. Maybe friendship isn't something we're supposed to collect. Maybe it's something we're fortunate enough to experience—for a season, for decades, for a lifetime, or sometimes, more than once. A Question to Consider Who has known a part of you that no one else could quite know—and what gift from that friendship are you still carrying? The Conversation That Inspired This Sound Bite Ep. 317 — There’s So Much Life to Enjoy: Travel, Curiosity & Adventure with Roz Sobel Watch: https://youtu.be/phAJXqPPjpc More on Friendship If you'd like to explore friendship further, check out: Ep. 207 — Building Meaningful Friendships: Overcoming Loneliness and Finding Joy Ep. 134 — Friendship Realities: Fizzles, Changes, and Coping Strategies Ep. 131 — True to You: Embracing Authenticity in Friendships with NoorJehan Coming Next Broadway actress, bestselling author and success coach Leslie Becker joins us to explore bravery, limiting beliefs, transitions and creativity—including a question I've continued thinking about: What if bravery isn't a personality trait—but a choice? Connect with Girl, Take the Lead! 🎧 Listen wherever you enjoy podcasts ▶️ YouTube: @GirlTakeTheLead 🌐 Website: https://girltaketheleadpod.com 💬 Follow along on LinkedIn, Instagram, Facebook & Pinterest If this reflection resonated with you, please follow the show, share it with someone who might appreciate it, and leave a rating or review. It helps more people discover Girl, Take the Lead! #GirlTakeTheLead #Friendship #TheGiftOfFriendship #Connection #Relationships #PersonalGrowth

What if travel isn't simply about seeing someplace new—but about opening ourselves to more of life? In this episode of Girl, Take the Lead!, I’m joined by someone very special to me: my longtime friend Roz Sobel. Roz and I met almost 50 years ago when I was assigned to convince her to take a job with my employer. She didn't take the job. But somehow, we knew the friendship was worth keeping. 😊 After a 30+ year career in international marketing and sales, Roz traded the traditional retirement playbook for a life filled with creativity, travel and adventure. But our conversation goes well beyond planning a great trip. We talk about what travel can open up in us: curiosity, connection, flexibility, confidence, and the realization that people who may initially seem very different from us often have much more in common with us than we imagined. Roz also shares why she loves slow travel and going off the beaten path, how she thinks about planning versus leaving room for discovery, and why her message at this stage of life is wonderfully simple: Carpe diem. Go for it. Don't put it off. Because there really is so much life to enjoy. In This Episode, We Talk About: How Roz's passion for travel began at age 16 when she lived with a family in MexicoHer full-circle journey back to central Mexico decades laterWhy travel can expand our understanding of other people—and ourselvesSlow travel, walking adventures and getting off the beaten pathHow to think about what you actually want from a trip before you plan itWhy a travel advisor can offer something different from booking everything yourself or relying solely on AIPlanning carefully while still leaving room for discoveryThe unexpected career Roz discovered after leaving corporate lifeWhy she wishes she had pursued more of what made her “tick” earlierAnd why sometimes the best question may simply be: Why not? Three Takeaways 1. Travel can make our worlds bigger.Experiencing another culture can challenge our assumptions, create connection and remind us how much we share—even when our lives may look very different. 2. Planning and being open to the unexpected can live together.Thoughtful planning can create the foundation that allows us to relax, stay curious and be open to the experiences we couldn't have anticipated. 3. Don't keep putting off what makes you come alive.Whether it's travel, creativity, a new career or something you've quietly wanted to try, Roz reminds us that other things can wait, too. Sometimes we need to use the vacation days, take the trip, explore the opportunity and see where it leads. About Roz Sobel Today, as a Pro-level Travel Advisor with Fora Travel, Roz is passionate about helping others discover how much life there is to enjoy going off the beaten path. She believes in slow travel, memorable experiences, and leaving room for the unexpected. Whether she’s exploring a new country, walking from one charming town to another, attending an art workshop in France or a language school in Italy, Roz brings curiosity, humor, and a healthy dose of “why not?” to the journey. Connect with Roz: Find Roz through her advisor page at Fora Travel. Instagram: @global_vistas There was something else that stayed with me after my conversation with Roz. What's Next? We'll explore that next in a new Sound Bite: The Gift of Friendship Connect with Girl, Take the Lead! 🎧 Listen wherever you enjoy podcasts.▶️ Watch and subscribe on YouTube.🌐 Visit Girl, Take the Lead! at girltaketheleadpod.com And if this conversation leaves you thinking about somewhere you've always wanted to go—or something you've been waiting to do—perhaps Roz's invitation is the one to carry with you: Don't put it off. There’s so much life to enjoy. #GirlTakeTheLead #Travel #WomenWhoTravel #SlowTravel #Adventure #Curiosity #WomenInLeadership #LifeAfterCorporate #TravelInspiration #CarpeDiem

What if grief has been present in more of our lives than we realized? This Sound Bite was inspired by my recent conversation with somatic nurse coach Lisa Ketcham-Hendrickson, who reminded us: “We can’t heal what we don’t feel.” That conversation brought me back to Francis Weller’s The Wild Edge of Sorrow and his five gates of grief—a framework that expanded my understanding of what grief can be. Questions to Conside Like many of us, I thought I understood grief. We lose someone we love. A relationship ends. Something precious is gone. But what about the parts of ourselves that haven't felt loved or welcomed? The suffering we witness in the world? A friendship or love that wasn't reciprocated? The future we imagined but never lived? An achievement we expected of ourselves but never reached? Or grief that may have traveled through our families for generations? Mentioned in This Sound Bite It was Weller’s exploration of ancestral grief that especially stopped me. I grew up in a family where loss was something we stuffed down. We didn't talk about it, and we certainly didn't spend much time feeling it. Understanding that grief can move through a lineage gave me a new way of looking at what we may carry—and the possibility that not everything we feel necessarily began with us. In this Sound Bite, we explore Weller’s five gates of grief, the relationship between grief and aliveness, why grief can challenge our ideas about strength and emotional control, and the importance of allowing grief to be witnessed in community. Because maybe recognizing grief isn't about becoming sadder. Maybe it's part of becoming more fully alive. What might you be grieving that you've never given yourself permission to call grief? And who might you allow to witness it with you? Maybe we don't have to solve it. Maybe we begin by noticing it. Naming it. Sharing it. With compassionate curiosity. Lisa Ketcham-Hendrickson — Episode 315 We Can’t Heal What We Don’t Feel: Coming Home to Ourselves Lisa is a somatic nurse coach and founder of Human Recovery. Our conversation about grief, healing, nervous-system regulation, community, and coming home to ourselves inspired this reflection. Francis Weller — The Wild Edge of Sorrow Weller’s exploration of the five gates of grief helped me see grief not simply as a response to death, but as something that can touch belonging, expectations, the suffering around us, our ancestry, and many other parts of being human. Community Shout-Out: Drew Turner I also want to give a shout-out to past Girl, Take the Lead! guest Drew Turner from Episode 201. Drew is a Women’s Leadership Coach who works with women who have done everything “right” and still feel like they have something to prove—helping them begin to trust themselves again. On September 2, Drew is offering a free one-hour Zoom workshop: How to Stop Proving She’s keeping the workshop small—just 30 women—and it may especially resonate if you’re someone who: Is quick to help and support everyone elseFeels exhausted but rarely slows downStruggles to ask for help, even from people close to youKnows something needs to change but can’t quite name whatIf you recognize yourself—or someone you care about—in that description, you can save your seat here: drewturnercoaching.com/proveittwice And you can find my conversation with Drew in Episode 201 of Girl, Take the Lead! Connect With Girl, Take the Lead! 🌐 Website: www.girltaketheleadpod.com 🎧 Listen: www.girltaketheleadpod.com/listen ▶️ YouTube: @GirlTaketheLead 📸 Instagram: @yocanny 💼 LinkedIn: Yo Canny 📘 Facebook Group: Girl, Take the Lead! If this reflection brought something up for you, consider sharing it with someone you trust. Maybe that's one small way we begin turning grief from something we carry privately into something we can witness together. 🎧 Listen wherever you enjoy your podcasts.