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Send us a Positive Review! In this not-to-be-missed episode, Val interviews Michael McLean (of The Forgotten Carols and Mr. Kruger's Christmas) and his delightful son Jeff about a book they just co-wrote recounting their journey to unconditional love for self and one another in a religious tradition that still struggles to embrace the reality that the worth of EVERY soul (not just the married heterosexual soul!) is infinitely good, lovable, & 'enough'.   This conversation is candid, raw, and maybe as 'real' as anything that you've heard on Latter Day Struggles and it is the essence of why we do what we do here.  We share conversations like Jeff's and Michael's to remind us that miracles of healing are possible as humans awaken to the real message of Jesus Christ:  That love knows no limits.   In the next episode Val interviews therapist and colleague Brad Reedy, who contributes to Jeff and Michael's book.  Don't miss these profound and touching episodes!   DON'T HIT STOP after the interview this week y'all! Please enjoy a beautiful original song written by Jeff McLean for his therapists and helpers along the way during his journey that led to the writing of Stay in the Room. Timestamps: 00:00 Welcome and Guests 05:00 Jeff on Identity and Culture 10:18 Michael on Painful Truths 16:21 Jeff on Shame and Hiding 20:16 Host Therapy Framework 27:28 Michael Valley of Shadow 32:18 Temple Recommend Turning Point 40:33 Host Reframes the Journey 45:39 A Living Room Breakthrough 49:41 Houston Hotel Confrontation 55:12 Love Loud Safe Harbors 59:08 Writing The Book As Recovery 01:10:54 Die Before You Die 01:21:05 Hope For Unapologized Hurt 01:27:41 McClain Foundation Plans 01:29:15 Closing Gratitude + Original Song Support the show Support the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Gift a Scholarship Download Free Resources Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review! In this episode, Val is joined by Greg Prince, and their focus begins with Hugh B Brown’s legacy of gutsy leadership & expands to an exploration of the broader implications of the LDS Church's aging leaders (due to their succession-by-seniority-policy multiplied by advancements in medicine in the past several decades).  Does modern science about increasing life expectancy & therefore increased dementia risk in elderly leaders call for a conversation about how LDS leadership is chosen? Listen in to hear what Greg & Valerie have to say about this.  Want to listen to this whole series? Jump back to episode 185. Timestamps: 00:00 Episode Setup 00:48 Welcome Greg Prince 00:59 McKay Era Recap 03:26 Meet Hugh B Brown 07:03 Brown Versus Benson 10:26 Uchtdorf Comparison 12:17 McKay First Presidency Picks 16:58 Succession And Dementia Data 25:07 Fixing Succession Rules 29:58 Power Shift To Twelve 33:34 Youth Exodus And Relevance 36:35 New Contract For Members 40:39 Closing And Resources Support the show Support the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Gift a Scholarship Download Free Resources Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review! The news is getting out.  Patriarchy harms everyone in its clutches. The women and children of course. But men too. Actually, it hurts them a lot. The more we have words for how this hurts us, the more we can advocate for change but also embody change in how we see ourselves, treat one another and live our lives.   If you are just realizing that much of your faith crisis is connected to the massive impact that patriarchy has had on you and you're ready to confront this and heal from the impacts of patriarchal programming, you're invited to join Valerie's upcoming Healing from Patriarchy support and processing group that begins in October 2026.  This is where women find their voices and men find their vulnerability. Seating is limited. Please join us for a life changing experience and a wonderful community of friends on the same journey. Timestamps: 00:00 Welcome and Redrop Preview 09:08 Series Part Six Setup 16:48 True Self False Self Framework 21:07 How LDS Homes Teach Roles 28:58 Creativity and Becoming Self 37:03 Healing Men Through Love 42:40 Invite to Mixed Gender Group 49:28 What Is Spiritual Agency 56:03 Virtue Script Pressure 01:04:12 Reclaiming Identity 01:10:32 Becoming A Reformer 01:16:46 Choosing Amid Expectations 01:25:00 Raising Agentic Kids 01:30:50 Where To Find Valerie 01:31:47 Favorites And Farewell Support the show Support the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Gift a Scholarship Download Free Resources Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review! In this special Office Hours recording, a couple dozen people joined Valerie to talk about the emotional experience that only the former devout Mormon will understand.  Why does this weekend bring up so much?   Listen to Val & four of the guests that attended this Office Hours recording as they talk about grief, loneliness, fear, and confusion.  They hit topics that likely hit home with you too:  about parenting and mixed faith marriage emotions...loss of simplicity, feeling left out of the celebratory mood, and other emotions typical of this weekend that many of us used to find connecting and meaningful in times gone by. Timestamps: 00:00 Tribute Episode Re Drop 01:45 Queerphobia Paradigms Preview 03:30 Why Share This Now 05:38 Office Hours Pop Up Intro 07:15 Conference Weekend Complexity 09:28 Loneliness In Faith Shift 13:37 Compassion And New Community 18:43 Grief Over Conference Changes 26:05 Existential Grief And Integration 31:57 Fear And Emotional Overload 35:18 Fear Of Disconnection 37:01 Differentiation In Mormon Families 37:55 Bookshelf Metaphor 39:07 Practice Compassionate Curiosity 41:49 Parenting In Mixed Faith 44:55 Collaborate With Your Partner 52:09 Create Conference Safe Space 54:09 Discernment Over Zeal 58:47 Closing Reflections 59:49 New Healing Group Format 01:01:46 Final Thanks And Goodbye Support the show Support the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Gift a Scholarship Download Free Resources Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review! Just a quick announcement to start a process of changing my philosophy here on Latter Day Struggles. I care deeply about two things: YOU... And offering psychologically healing content for your Mormon faith expansion journey. If time or resources have ever been a barrier in joining one of my deeply healing groups--this upcoming pilot experiment group is for YOU.  To all of you licensed and graduate level mental health workers out there who so loyally support me, please listen to this episode as well. I want to support each of you who do clinical mental health work with those in Mormon faith crisis. Listen here as I share a special gift to you as part of your tuition when you join this group.  Finally, thank you all for your trust and support. I feel fortunate every day that I get to be in connection with such amazing humans.  Please share this announcement with anyone in your circles who might benefit. I expect this group to fill quickly so don't hesitate if this work calls to you! Timestamps: 00:00 Welcome And Update 00:49 The Access Conundrum 02:55 No Quick Fixes 04:45 New Pilot Format 05:39 Curriculum Upfront 06:55 Ten Live Sessions 09:02 Affordability And Irony 11:13 Experiment And Invitation 12:25 Support For Clinicians 15:29 Scholarships And Gratitude 16:57 How To Join And Goodbye Support the show Support the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Gift a Scholarship Download Free Resources Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review! Very few of us doubt that we have been profoundly impacted by the imprints of patriarchy in our early personality development. What most do not know is that this is not a 'life sentence'.  In this episode Val walks through her passion, approach, and even a few specific activities built into her updated Healing from Patriarchy group curriculum. If you are not sure if this experience if for you, this episode is for you. If you are worried about sharing vulnerable things in a group, listen in and rest assured that all group members can participate as little or as much in the group processing activities. And most of all, if you are tired of doing faith crisis thing alone or only with angry people who offer no path to healing, this episode is your invitation to find your people and your peace.  ** If you believe in Valerie's work and would like to contribute to a scholarship fund that helps others afford group healing work, please reach out at [email protected] to make a tax-deductible donation.  ** If you need assistance to join a group, scholarships are sometimes available, pending donation participation from our listening community. Timestamps: 00:00 Welcome and Overview 01:21 Why Groups Feel Risky 02:38 Patriarchy Group Opens Up 06:33 True Self Narratives 13:21 Who This Is For 21:41 What We Will Cover 27:04 New Exercises Preview 31:16 Polygamy Letter Healing 41:45 Logistics and Community 45:18 Final Invitation and Goodbye Support the show Support the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Gift a Scholarship Download Free Resources Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review! Patriarchy impacts people at a soul-wrenching level, and perhaps no other group is more stricken than our LGBTQ+ community. Please join us for a re-drop of a beautiful episode looking at Carol Lynn Pearson's breathtaking book, Goodbye, I Love You, which Valerie references to describe a 5 messages internalized by LDS queer people AND 5 healing counterpoints- deep truths about the divine identities of our queer loved ones and selves.  Timestamps: 00:00 Welcome and Redrop Plan 06:20 Why Patriarchy Needs Context 10:49 Origins Jesus and Mormonism 15:45 Awakening and Upcoming Episodes 32:20 Re-drop Begins No More Goodbyes 38:25 Book Premise and Audience 41:27 Paradigm One Innate Worth 51:30 Paradigm Two Unconditional Love 01:03:25 A Father’s Blessing 01:11:15 Microaggressions and Doctrine 01:22:33 Attachment Theory Explained 01:29:44 Brad’s Heartbreaking Story 01:40:53 Raising Consciousness Hope 01:48:27 Final Review and Farewell Support the show Support the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Gift a Scholarship Download Free Resources Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review! In this priceless short series, Val & Carol Lynn delve into Carol Lynn's deepest passion: feminism.  Listen is as she delights us with stories about her unforgettable one-woman play "Mother Wove the Morning" and even moves into her amazing actress role and performs 2 of her characters!   Then join Val & CLP as they talk about another version of 'baptisms for the dead'...the feminist version. You'll love these episodes and likely want to listen many times...they are vintage CLP!  Timestamps: 00:00 Series Preview 10:53 Creating the Characters 17:57 Bravery and Backlash 28:40 Audience Impact 37:55 A Timely Renaissance 47:42 Notable Venues 56:43 Myths Rewrite the Feminine 01:05:46 War Erases the Feminine 01:13:24 Rachel and the Teraphim 01:22:41 Elizabeth Cady Stanton Speaks 01:35:45 Work for the Dead Reframed 01:43:51 From Patriarchy to Partnership 01:48:11 Where to Watch and Final Goodbye Support the show Support the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Gift a Scholarship Download Free Resources Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review! In honor of our very beloved Carol Lynn Pearson (a bold, sassy woman and the dearest of mentors to me) I wanted to share this beautiful two-part conversation that we had early in the podcast. Listen in and take in what true wit, wisdom, courage, healthy personal authority and value of one's community looks like all wrapped up in one glorious woman.   Timestamps: 00:00 Intro and Re-Release 03:29 Meet Carolyn Pearson 10:38 Writing as Calling 15:37 Goodbye I Love You Impact 23:08 No More Goodbyes and Facing East 42:18 Speaking Truth in the Church 48:46 Chakras Into Kingdoms 56:07 Repentance And Forgiveness 01:04:20 Guts Plus Heart Courage 01:11:37 Staying In The Church 01:21:56 Policy Pain And Testimony 01:31:44 Heavenly Mother And Creation 01:41:34 Paradigm Shift to Partnership 01:47:50 Men Dismantling Patriarchy 01:55:57 Writing and Creative Process 02:01:10 Kind and Brave in Marriage 02:11:14 The Love Map and Farewell Support the show Support the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Gift a Scholarship Download Free Resources Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review! Join Val as her audience while she does a final run through on a topic that has come to be a passion project for her on Latter Day Struggles.  In short, what can we do as faith-expanding people in and around the LDS church to ease the polarization between the fiery fundamentalist Mormon and the fiery Ex-Mormon?   Oddly enough, these two "poles" exist as counterpoints to one another on the opposite extreme.  If one pole chooses a "third way" balance is disrupted, and growth becomes more likely.  We on the Mormon faith journey may not be able to impact all aspects on the extreme side of Mormon fundamentalism/ orthodoxy...but how we handle our own growth journeys CAN change a LOT.  Listen in and let us know what you think!  Timestamps: 00:00 Welcome and Sunstone Preview 01:26 Why Polarization Matters 05:20 The Growth Ladder Model 11:05 Healthy Mormon Fusion 14:55 Differentiation and Faith Crisis 19:55 Integration and Inclusion 26:54 When Growth Gets Stuck 27:56 Fixation in Orthodoxy 33:53 Chronic Differentiation Trap 45:58 Breaking the Polarization Dance 48:47 Processing Wisely in Crisis 58:57 Third Way Closing Support the show Support the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Gift a Scholarship Download Free Resources Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review! Have you ever done something for the first time and feel that pit in your stomach as it approaches?  Well, here at Latter Day Struggles, pretty much EVERYTHING  that we do is a first!  And it always brings that insecure "what have I gotten myself into?" sensation!   This episode is Val's candid reflections about an evening shared with over a hundred "in person" and "streaming" loved ones who have experienced growth and healing with her.   A bottom line?  You might be experiencing growth and healing in some way through this podcast and platform.  But you are also giving this gift of healing to Val and Nathan Hamaker.  They thank you and love you.   Hoping you enjoy Val's thoughts on the gift that this healing community is to her.  Because of you.   Timestamps: 00:00 Welcome and Event Recap 01:06 Why Stories of Healing 04:25 Origin Story Artwork 06:08 Sharing Beyond the Room 08:19 Event Day Emotions 08:37 Three Audience Groups 13:04 Grief and Perspective Shift 16:56 Program Highlights and Readings 25:40 What It Meant to Me 29:24 Q&A Next Steps 34:24 Closing Gratitude Support the show Support the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Gift a Scholarship Download Free Resources Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review! Lately there has been a lot of talk about the LDS disaffiliation crisis in the 21st century. Here at Latter Day Struggles we support open dialogue about what happening in our LDS homes and congregations.   Please enjoy this special "audiobook" addition of a Latter Day Struggles series unpacking some groundbreaking research done by therapist Liz Macdonald exploring common LDS family dynamics shared by young adults whose disaffiliation experiences were the most challenging.   We care about people all across the spectrum of faith in and around the LDS church.  Taking research like this seriously could profoundly reshape our community in healthy ways.  Timestamps: 00:00 Welcome 03:54 Meet Liz and The Study 11:48 Method and Study Limits 22:03 Four Key Findings Overview 28:00 Disconnected From Self 52:20 Fear-Based Theology and Parenting 01:02:38 Conditional Love and Worthiness 01:12:42 False Self and Hidden Struggles 01:22:32 One-Way Communication and Fear 01:31:17 Blaming Outside Influences 01:40:20 New Episode Research Overview 01:57:49 Purity Culture and Shame 02:08:05 Adult Development and Compassion 02:20:19 Fear of Selfhood 02:30:25 High Demand Religion 02:44:22 Research Recap 02:52:12 Eight Stages Walkthrough 03:04:59 Parents Threatened by Growth 03:19:13 Fundamentalism and Safety 03:27:20 From Identity to Intimacy 03:34:37 Recommendations and Repair 03:41:27 Closing and Resources Support the show Support the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Gift a Scholarship Download Free Resources Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review! In this episode Val digs into the concept of prophet worship [or any time humans hand over their discerning power to a formal authority figure] from the context of psychology and the “shadow”.  While we tend to talk about our “shadows” from the context of that which we are ashamed of, sometimes we actually disown our greatest divine attributes.  Tune in to this episode to learn why this happens and how to reintegrate our “golden shadows” back into our core identities.  This conversation is an extension of Episode 447, so go back and listen if this intrigues you! Does the idea of awakening your core identity or "True Self" resonate with you ? If so, jump onto a waitlist to join Valerie’s next healing group that focuses on the awakening of one’s True Self core identity.  This group is titled “Fundamentals of LDS Faith Crisis Healing” and the next group of this type begins spring of 2027! Timestamps: 00:00 Welcome and Setup  03:09 Traditional Shadow Basics  07:58 Golden Shadow Defined  09:27 Projection and Triggers  12:36 Golden Shadow Projection Example 17:07 How Outsourcing Happens 20:08 Official Carrier and the Cost of Imperfection  25:37 When Following the Prophet Doesn't Work  29:36 Reclaiming Discernment  32:22 Practicing and Giving Yourself Grace  35:52 Integration Not Overcorrecting  39:15 Closing Thoughts Support the show Support the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Gift a Scholarship Download Free Resources Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review! In this episode Valerie tackles a seemingly contradictory pair of claims:  The LDS church is experiencing record-breaking growth!  The LDS church is experiencing record-breaking defection!  Is one narrative simply not true?  Interestingly, the answer is no, both narratives are true. Join Val as she unpacks these seemingly contradictory claims & breaks down how these claims reflect specific kinds of data collection.  She also explores how these narratives are tracking two different demographics of people in different stages of faith and consciousness development. Valerie’s hope in episodes like this is to shine a light on normative human growth & development in the context of faith and to illustrate how the churches that do not understand or believe in stages of faith development only serve populations in [important but] earlier stages of growth & pathologize those in later stages, causing ever increasing levels of family fractures and institutional defection.  PS: to read more & see the data, pick up a copy of download the book Torn: Why People We Love are Leaving the Church and What We Can Learn from Them by Jeff Strong, linked HERE. Timestamps: 00:00 Welcome and Series Setup 02:45 Two Conflicting Narratives 04:16 Record Baptisms Data 06:17 Disaffiliation Statistics 12:01 Both And Explanation 14:03 Three LDS Demographics 14:21 Active Core Strengths 17:58 Disaffiliated Core Growth 22:30 Never Fully Affiliated 26:11 Stages of Faith Framework 29:26 Attachment Stage Church Fit 31:02 Differentiation and Homelessness 41:44 Integration and Compassion 44:20 Closing Reflections Support the show Support the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Gift a Scholarship Download Free Resources Visit our Website

Send us a Positive Review! Series Title: Torn: Why People We Love are Leaving the Church & What We Can Learn from Them [Part III of III] In this final episode of this beautiful series featuring guest author Jeff Strong & his bestselling book Torn: Why People We Love are Leaving the Church & What We Can Learn from Them, Val & Jeff cover four "culture imbalances" that thousands of disaffiliated LDS offered as reasons they could not grow in the context of the LDS church. Listen in to hear some sobering & important data that offers a more accurate narrative surrounding the current LDS dissafiliation crisis. As painful a this information might be for devout LDS loved ones, this information is vitally important. Can those who loved the church and want what is best for their faith- expanding families listen to their feedback and create safe harbor for those on unexpected faith journeys?  The only way our LDS homes and wards can become this kind of community is to listen, learn, and trust the words and experiences of those who often only leave because they feel that thriving spiritually is not possible if they stay. Jeff's book Torn linked HERE Timestamps: 00:00 Welcome and Guest Intro 02:45 Why These Talks Matter 05:00 Unexpected Family Reversals 13:14 Why Culture Is Key 20:25 Imbalance One Who Belongs 28:53 Balancing Standards With Love 35:13 Transactional Faith Pitfalls 44:54 Map Not The Sea 50:57 Agency Versus Compliance 54:28 Trusting Individual Conscience 01:00:23 Pressure To Conform 01:03:15 Ubuntu And Closing Takeaways Support the show Support the show Listen, Share, Rate & Review EPISODES Friday Episodes Monthly Access $10 Valerie’s Support & Processing Groups Gift a Scholarship Download Free Resources Visit our Website