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Do you work like you’re paying back a debt nobody ever asked you to pay? If you’ve ever thought, “I already have more than my parents ever did, so I shouldn’t ask for more,” this episode is for you. This week, I’m taking Asian guilt in a direction we haven’t gone before on the School of Self-Worth: the guilt that comes from gratitude. It’s the kind that keeps you working through evenings and weekends, quiet about what you’re worth, and saying yes to projects that were never yours to take on, even when you’re already in a leadership role. Here’s the truth. Your parents’ sacrifice is real, and honoring it doesn’t mean shrinking or taking less than you want. I’m sharing a simple 2-step practice to clear the guilt, plus what happened for my client when she did. People now take notes when she speaks, and her boss just told her she’s up for a promotion. In this episode: Why guilt that comes from love and gratitude crashes your systemThe 3 ways it shows up at work: overworking, staying quiet on compensation, and saying yes by defaultWhy your personal power is the biggest ROI for your familyHow to feel gratitude without obligation, and appreciate yourself on a whole new levelHow my client went from holding back to being the person leadership turns to first(Note: this episode is about the guilt that comes from inside you. For parents who guilt-trip you, go to Episode 122.) Want to find the exact block keeping you from owning your authority at work? Apply for an Asian Authority Audit in the show notes, or DM me audit @nicoletsong on Instagram. If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support!  Asian Authority Audit: If you know you’re likely giving away your authority and don't know precisely when it’s happening, the Asian Authority Audit is a personalized session to help you identify that moment. Limited spots available every month, apply here.  Authority Shift:  You're not being overlooked because you're not capable. You’re being overlooked because of how your leadership is being interpreted in real time. Grab the private audio feed for Asian-American corporate leaders where I break down the exact moments your authority drops...and why it has nothing to do with confidence or communication. go.nicoletsong.com/shift Haven’t left a review yet? We’d love for you to at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/school-of-self-worth/id1678655504 For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast. Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email [email protected] to share any thoughts or feedback.  Catch up with Nicole:  Website: nicoletsong.com Subscribe to her newsletterInstagram: nicoletsongTiktok: @nicoletsong_LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-tsong/

In this episode of School of Self Worth, I talk with Cloe Zeng, Chief Growth Officer at the Gottman Institute and former senior leader at Microsoft. If you're the reliable one, the one who gets it done, and you still find out about high-impact decisions that affect you after they're made, this conversation is for you. Cloe was raised to believe her work would speak for itself, and what she did after she discovered it didn’t. She talks about how she learned to advocate for herself and the detailed steps that actually helped her rise as a leader.  We also talk about: Turning down a fast-track promotion. She did it for her teenagers' stability, and still got promoted.Asking for help. Most of us never saw our parents do it. Cloe explains how to build a personal board of directors.The real barrier. When she suggested a colleague for a senior role, the colleague said she didn't see anyone who looked like her at that level. She applied and was the top candidate.Presence. Her daughter asked, "Mom, can I talk to you for a second?" Cloe closed the laptop and they went to watch the sunset. That's what the Gottman Institute calls a bid for connection.In the conversation with Cloe, learn about why you don't have to choose between ambition and family, and why you become a better leader when you don’t. If you know you’re likely giving away your authority and don't know precisely when it’s happening, the Asian Authority Audit is a personalized session to help you identify that moment. Limited spots available every month, apply here.  THE TOP LEARNINGS IN THIS EPISODE:   Balancing Ambition and Family Is Possible [10:11]  Career Growth Is a Lifelong Journey, Not a Single Track [13:16] The Power of Presence: Responding to Bids for Connection [15:49]  Self-Advocacy and Intentional Career Conversations [25:11]  The Importance of Imagination and Representation in Leadership [33:01] Building Emotional Bank Accounts in All Relationships [41:41]Guest Bio: Cloe Zeng is the Chief Growth Officer at The Gottman Institute, where she works to bring research-based relationship and well-being tools to more people and organizations around the world. Before joining Gottman, she spent 10 years at Microsoft in global business and leadership roles and was recently recognized as an OPULIS #empowHER50 honoree, celebrating 50 women connected to Microsoft’s 50-year history.  She has also been deeply involved in education and community service and is passionate about supporting women, families, and the next generation. As a mother of two, Cloe brings a deeply personal perspective to the intersection of leadership, motherhood, cultural identity and relationships. She believes that how we lead others is deeply connected to how we understand and value ourselves.  ___________________________________________________________________ If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong and cloezeng so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support!  Authority Shift:  You're not being overlooked because you're not capable. You’re being overlooked because of how your leadership is being interpreted in real time. Grab the private audio feed for Asian-American corporate leaders where I break down the exact moments your authority drops...and why it has nothing to do with confidence or communication. go.nicoletsong.com/shift Haven’t left a review yet? We’d love for you to at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/school-of-self-worth/id1678655504 For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast. Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email [email protected] to share any thoughts or feedback.  Learn More About Cloe Zeng:  www.linkedin.com/in/cloezeng/gottman.com www.gottman.com/qr-code-love-notes-free-download/Catch up with Nicole:  Website: nicoletsong.com Subscribe to her newsletterInstagram: nicoletsongTiktok: @nicoletsong_LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-tsong/

Today, I’m talking about one of the biggest career myths many Asian American women grow up believing: your work will speak for itself. And honestly, it’s not bad advice. It probably helped you get pretty far. You worked hard. You delivered. You followed through. You became the person people could count on. But at a certain point, that strategy can stop working. You can have the title, the experience, and the track record, and still find yourself being treated like the person who executes rather than the person who leads. In this episode, I unpack why this happens, how cultural conditioning can reinforce the pattern, and why continuing to prove yourself through more work isn't necessarily going to change how people see you. Because getting promoted isn't just about doing good work. It's about knowing when to step forward, how to make your judgment visible, and how to recognize the moments that can change how you're perceived. I also share a simple way to start a conversation with your boss about your professional growth, so you're not waiting around hoping someone notices that you're ready for more. If you're tired of doing more without seeing the career movement you want, I invite you to apply for an Asian Authority Audit and connect with me on Instagram. THE TOP LEARNINGS IN THIS EPISODE:  The No. 1 Leadership Lie for Asian Americans  [00:01:34]How School Conditioning Influences Career Habits [00:02:13]Cultural Conditioning and Outsourced Motivation [00:03:51]The Pitfall of Being an Excellent Follower, Not a Leader [00:05:57]How to Proactively Position Yourself for Leadership  [00:07:01] Tangible Steps: Setting Up for Growth Conversations  [00:08:44]If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support!  Authority Shift:  You're not being overlooked because you're not capable. You’re being overlooked because of how your leadership is being interpreted in real time. Grab the private audio feed for Asian-American corporate leaders where I break down the exact moments your authority drops...and why it has nothing to do with confidence or communication. go.nicoletsong.com/shift Asian Authority Audit: If you are doing everything right at work—delivering results, being reliable, taking ownership—but still not being seen as a leader, this is where we identify why. Apply for a personalized audit to assess how you are being perceived by leadership. There are limited spots monthly, so grab yours here. Haven’t left a review yet? We’d love for you to at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/school-of-self-worth/id1678655504 For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast. Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email [email protected] to share any thoughts or feedback.  Catch up with Nicole:  Website: nicoletsong.com Subscribe to her newsletterInstagram: nicoletsongTiktok: @nicoletsong_LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-tsong/

As soon as you get feedback, do you find you’re in a reactive cycle? Instead of taking it as something to put into place, you’re thinking about what it says about you. Maybe I'm not as good as I thought I was. Maybe I screwed this up. Maybe they don't trust me anymore. So you might replay it, analyze what your performance for the next 24 hours, or beat yourself up. For many Asian American women, this reaction isn't random. We grew up trying to avoid disappointing people, respecting authority as the final word, and working hard to be good enough.  But being harder on yourself isn't making you a better leader. It's making it harder to actually see yourself accurately. In this episode, I talk about why feedback can trigger such a strong reaction, how self-appreciation changes your relationship with feedback, and why you need to be able to see your blind spots without making them mean something is wrong with you. Because leadership requires being able to see what's not working without losing sight of what's already working. If you're ready to uncover the blind spots keeping you from being seen as the leader you are, apply for an Asian Authority Audit here. THE TOP LEARNINGS IN THIS EPISODE:   Why Feedback Triggers Reactivity: The Real Reason  [00:00:06]The Impact of Asian Cultural Conditioning on Feedback  [00:02:49]Navigating Shame and Criticism: From Childhood to Boardroom [00:03:36]Discovering and Addressing Your Blind Spots as a Leader  [00:05:06]The Power of Self-Appreciation and Building a Culture of Appreciation    [00:08:18]Small Habits, Big Shifts: Compounding Self-Worth for Effective Leadership  [00:11:25]If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support!  Authority Shift:  You're not being overlooked because you're not capable. You’re being overlooked because of how your leadership is being interpreted in real time. Grab the private audio feed for Asian-American corporate leaders where I break down the exact moments your authority drops...and why it has nothing to do with confidence or communication. go.nicoletsong.com/shift Haven’t left a review yet? We’d love for you to at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/school-of-self-worth/id1678655504 For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast. Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email [email protected] to share any thoughts or feedback.  Catch up with Nicole:  Website: nicoletsong.com Subscribe to her newsletterInstagram: nicoletsongTiktok: @nicoletsong_LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-tsong/

Welcome back to the School of Self-Worth! In this episode, I sit down with Neeta Bhushan, host of The Brave Table and author of That Sucked, Now What?, for a powerful conversation about what happens when the patterns that once helped you survive and succeed start getting in the way of becoming the person, leader and human you’re meant to be. As the daughter of immigrant parents from India and the Philippines, Neeta learned early how to carry responsibility, achieve, and keep moving forward, even as she lost both her parents and a brother. We unpack how cultural and generational conditioning drove her to hustle harder and achieve more, while also taking care of everyone else. She digs into what it took to break generational patterns and to choose herself so she could finally come home to herself. It’s a vulnerable, expansive conversation — do not miss the exact ritual that keeps the mom of two regulated and grounded!  THE TOP LEARNINGS IN THIS EPISODE:   How performance becomes self-worth in immigrant  [02:56]  Navigating Grief and Responsibility as an Eldest Daughter  [03:55]  The Cost of Overachievement: Validation, Hustle, and Toxic Relationships  [06:13]  Finding Freedom and Redefining Identity Abroad  [14:05]  The Power of Vulnerability and Authentic Leadership  [22:01]  Healing Generational Patterns Through Emotional Regulation  [42:04]GUEST BIO: Neeta Bhushan is the host of the top 13 mental health podcast, The Brave Table, award-winning author of That Sucked, Now What? Founder of Ayurvedic wellness company Chai Tonics, and mother of 2.  If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong and @neetabhushan everywhere so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support!  Authority Shift:  You're not being overlooked because you're not capable. You’re being overlooked because of how your leadership is being interpreted in real time. Grab the private audio feed for Asian-American corporate leaders where I break down the exact moments your authority drops...and why it has nothing to do with confidence or communication. go.nicoletsong.com/shift Haven’t left a review yet? We’d love for you to at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/school-of-self-worth/id1678655504 For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast. Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email [email protected] to share any thoughts or feedback.  Learn More About Neeta Bhushan:  chaitonics.com/pages/rose-ritual-chai http://neetabhushan.comGrab her book “That Sucked, Now What?”@neetabhushan on InstagramCatch up with Nicole:  Website: nicoletsong.com Subscribe to her newsletterInstagram: nicoletsongTiktok: @nicoletsong_LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-tsong/

What happens when you’re already in the room where decisions are being made, but your voice still isn’t carrying the weight your experience warrants? In this episode, I’m breaking down an all-too-common experience for Asian American women in leadership: being in the room, delivering results, managing teams, and carrying significant responsibility, while still feeling like their perspective isn’t fully recognized. I share the story of a director managing a team of 30 who was frustrated when her insights were overlooked, even when decisions directly affected her work. The issue wasn’t getting into the room; her problem was she wasn’t being experienced as the strategic leader she already was.  In this episode, I break down how early expectations around reliability, hierarchy, respect, and keeping the peace common in Asian families can continue showing up in leadership, and how those patterns can quietly shape what happens before, during, and after you speak. If you’ve been told to “be more strategic” or “show more executive presence,” I’ll help you look beneath that feedback and understand what may actually be happening. You don’t need to work harder to prove you deserve the seat. You’ve already earned it. The work is learning how to lead from your own authority once you’re there. If you’re ready to explore what that looks like, join my Strategic Authority Sprint. THE TOP LEARNINGS IN THIS EPISODE:   The Leadership Trap: Hard Work Does Not Always Equal Trust from Leadership  [02:28]High Performers Are Often Seen as Reliable Executors, Not Strategic Leaders  [03:28]Authority and Ownership in Leadership Roles: The Execution vs. Strategy Divide [04:25]How Early Definitions of Success Influence Workplace Dynamics  [05:05]Outsourcing Authority Happens in Small, Incremental Moments  [07:48]Vague Feedback Is a Sign You Haven’t Fully Stepped Into Your Leadership  [08:23]If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support!  Strategic Authority Sprint: If you’re an Asian-American leader who wants a seat at the table where strategy, influence, and leadership decisions happen for details on my weeklong Strategic Authority Sprint August 10-13. Get invited into the conversations where decisions are made. https://go.nicoletsong.com/optin1773963245894 Authority Shift:  You're not being overlooked because you're not capable. You’re being overlooked because of how your leadership is being interpreted in real time. Grab the private audio feed for Asian-American corporate leaders where I break down the exact moments your authority drops...and why it has nothing to do with confidence or communication. https://go.nicoletsong.com/shift Haven’t left a review yet? We’d love for you to at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/school-of-self-worth/id1678655504 For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast. Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email [email protected] to share any thoughts or feedback.  Catch up with Nicole:  Website: nicoletsong.com Subscribe to her newsletterInstagram: nicoletsongTiktok: @nicoletsong_LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-tsong/

Today, I dive into the MAIN thing blocking Asian-American women from getting a true seat at the table. And you do not want to miss what we talk about, because it’s NOT about your old stand-by, working harder. In fact, when you learn the details about this block, it can help you actually work LESS. Once you identify your personal block , and often we need some help to figure out exactly what it is , the next step is to understand how to STOP doing it. This is such an important conversation for Asian-American women leaders, make sure to dive in and then message me on Instagram @nicoletsong with your insights!  When you master overcoming this block, this is the moment shift out of seeking validation to leading strategically and confidently, truly claiming your seat at the table. THE TOP LEARNINGS IN THIS EPISODE:  The Biggest Lie for High-Achieving Asian American Women  [02:28]Leadership Isn’t About Working Harder  [03:03]The Cost of Protective Patterns in Leadership  [08:47]Unlocking Internal Authority for Real Leadership  [10:21]Why Most Capable Leaders Can’t Shift This Alone  [15:05]Steps to Identify and Shift Your Leadership Pattern  [16:10] If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support!  Authority Shift:  You're not being overlooked because you're not capable. You’re being overlooked because of how your leadership is being interpreted in real time. Grab the private audio feed for Asian-American corporate leaders where I break down the exact moments your authority drops...and why it has nothing to do with confidence or communication. go.nicoletsong.com/shift Haven’t left a review yet? We’d love for you to at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/school-of-self-worth/id1678655504 For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast. Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email [email protected] to share any thoughts or feedback.  Catch up with Nicole:  Website: nicoletsong.com Subscribe to her newsletterInstagram: nicoletsongTiktok: @nicoletsong_LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-tsong/

Have you ever struggled with critical feedback at work, despite your track record of success and hard work? That’s what Gloria Bui was facing when she joined the Seen as a Leader course. Like so many high-performing Asian-American women, she was used to accolades and being seen as excellent, but she felt blocked about how to move to the next level at work.  Through the course, Gloria learned to stabilize her emotions and respond with intention, something previous leadership coaching and communication courses hadn’t fully addressed for her. She discovered the power of knowing and acting from her authentic self, rather than feeling compelled to prove her worth in every meeting or chase external validation like a promotion for the sake of status. As Gloria grew more grounded and confident, she saw dramatic changes at work and in her personal life - becoming the pivotal person colleagues wanted in the room and experiencing more connection in her relationships.  You don’t want to miss the details of how Gloria shifted from emotionally reactive to stable and grounded at work, and how that changed everything. THE TOP LEARNINGS IN THIS EPISODE:   The Importance of Bridging the Perception Gap in Leadership [06:16]Emotional Regulation Leads to Personal and Professional Growth [08:03]Speaking with Intention Improves Workplace Perception [10:40]Authenticity as the Foundation of Confident Communication [16:35]Gaining Clarity and Patience When Navigating Career Choices [19:07]The Power of Community and Group Coaching for Asian American Women [25:27]GUEST BIO Gloria Bui is a strategy and operations leader with a background spanning the nonprofit, consulting, and corporate sectors. She studied History at Davidson College and earned her MBA from Dartmouth’s Tuck School of Business. She specializes in helping organizations identify growth opportunities, align teams around a shared strategy, and bring complex initiatives to life. Outside of work, Gloria serves on the YWCA-NYC Young Professionals Leadership Council, where she supports fundraising efforts and mentors local high school students. Originally from Asheville, North Carolina, she now lives in Brooklyn, New York with her partner and their pup.  If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong and [insert guest IG handle] so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support!  Authority Shift:  You're not being overlooked because you're not capable. You’re being overlooked because of how your leadership is being interpreted in real time. Grab the private audio feed for Asian-American corporate leaders where I break down the exact moments your authority drops...and why it has nothing to do with confidence or communication. go.nicoletsong.com/shift Haven’t left a review yet? We’d love for you to at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/school-of-self-worth/id1678655504 For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast. Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email [email protected] to share any thoughts or feedback.  Learn More About Gloria:  Substack: https://bigincremental.substack.com/Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/gloriabui/Catch up with Nicole:  Website: nicoletsong.com Subscribe to her newsletterInstagram: nicoletsongTiktok: @nicoletsong_LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-tsong/

Ever have that moment in a big meeting where you share your innovative idea … and it doesn’t land? And it’s happened more than once, despite your years of experience and knowing your stuff backward and forward. Today, we’re unpacking what’s REALLY going on before you even share your idea — and why being seen as reliable and hard‑working doesn’t always translate into being heard. For many Asian-American women, this goes all the way back to being raised to be agreeable, polite, or to put others first, habits that don’t always serve us in high‑stakes rooms. Inside, I share some practical shifts you can start using right away! Tune in to hear more. THE TOP LEARNINGS IN THIS EPISODE:   Understanding The Reason Why Your Ideas Aren't Landing [00:00:34]The Impact of Self-Doubt and Anxiety in Meetings [00:02:22]Positioning Yourself as an Authority [00:03:32]The Subtle Sabotage of Deferring to Others [00:05:59]Shifting from Needing to be Right to Collaborative Leadership [00:07:45]Presenting Ideas Effectively [00:09:32]If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support!  Authority Shift:  You're not being overlooked because you're not capable. You’re being overlooked because of how your leadership is being interpreted in real time. Grab the private audio feed for Asian-American corporate leaders where I break down the exact moments your authority drops...and why it has nothing to do with confidence or communication. go.nicoletsong.com/shift Haven’t left a review yet? We’d love for you to at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/school-of-self-worth/id1678655504 For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast. Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email [email protected] to share any thoughts or feedback.  Catch up with Nicole:  Website: nicoletsong.com Subscribe to her newsletterInstagram: nicoletsongTiktok: @nicoletsong_LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-tsong/

In this episode, Nicole explores one of the most overlooked leadership dynamics affecting high-achieving Asian American women: the subtle ways we unintentionally give away our authority at work. If you've ever wondered why you're trusted with important projects but still overlooked for leadership opportunities, this conversation is for you. Nicole breaks down the hidden moments where authority is lost, why these patterns often stem from cultural conditioning, and how they impact the perception of you as a leader long before promotion talks begin. You'll learn why authority isn't built in high-stakes presentations, but in everyday interactions where you either reinforce the identity of someone they trust to get things done or strengthen your position as a strategic leader. Nicole shares practical methods to develop internal stability, how to position your thinking with confidence, and recognizing the patterns keeping you stuck despite your expertise.  If you're ready to stop being praised privately and overlooked publicly, this episode is for you. Ready to go deeper? Download The Authority Shift, Nicole's free private audio series for high-achieving women who are tired of being known as the person who gets things done and ready to be known as the person who leads. Inside, you'll discover the hidden leadership patterns shaping how you're perceived at work and what actually changes them. THE TOP LEARNINGS IN THIS EPISODE:    Authority is often lost in subtle, everyday moments, not just during big presentations or meetings [03:01]Over-explaining, defensiveness, and worrying about others' reactions can dilute your authority [05:07]Many behaviors, like waiting to be spoken to or making things easier for others, are ingrained culturally, especially for Asian American women [10:05]Authority isn’t about confidence or perfect words, but about remaining stable and grounded, even under unexpected pressure [12:01]Awareness of these patterns is the first step toward making powerful shifts in how you show up and lead [15:11]Understanding and practicing holding authority in micro-moments [06:41] If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong, so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support!  Authority Shift:  You're not being overlooked because you're not capable. You’re being overlooked because of how your leadership is being interpreted in real time. Grab the private audio feed for Asian-American corporate leaders where I break down the exact moments your authority drops...and why it has nothing to do with confidence or communication. go.nicoletsong.com/shift Haven’t left a review yet? We’d love for you to at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/school-of-self-worth/id1678655504 For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast. Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email [email protected] to share any thoughts or feedback.  Catch up with Nicole:  Website: nicoletsong.com Subscribe to her newsletterInstagram: nicoletsongTiktok: @nicoletsong_LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-tsong/

Today on the School of Self-Worth, I’m sitting down with the remarkable Christine Chang, a celebrity photographer, author and now filmmaker, as she celebrates her debut short film, Making Space. In this conversation, we delve more deeply into how her Asian-American upbringing impacted her sense of self and how it affected her in her relationships and dating.  Throughout our conversation, she pointed to a pattern many high-achieving women are familiar with — the belief that love has to be earned. Christine shares how this showed up in her own life by dating unavailable people and how she broke the pattern honest, raw conversations with her parents. We explore what emotional availability actually looks like in practice, and why being gentle with yourself matters so much. She also digs into why receiving help is an essential part of healthy relationships.  THE TOP LEARNINGS IN THIS EPISODE:   How self-worth influences dating patterns and romantic relationships  [07:47]Awareness of childhood roots helps break destructive patterns [15:13]Emotional availability is a skill that must be practiced and developed [21:10]Choosing a healthy relationship and learning to feel calm and safe, not dramatic [28:43]Letting people help is an act of self-worth and vulnerability [33:06]Pursuing your dreams requires embracing discomfort and self-kindness [46:17]Christine Chang spent two decades as a celebrity photographer, developing a keen eye for capturing people during authentic, in-between moments. That fascination with intimacy, identity, and relational awareness expanded her career into writing, podcasting, branding, and now film.  She is the author of Show Up: Finding Love for Independent Women and the former host of the podcast Show Up with Christine Chang, where she explored modern relationships and self-discovery. Most recently, she directed her debut short film Making Space, which is currently screening at film festivals throughout the US. If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong and Christine Chang @cchangandco  so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support!  Authority Shift:  You're not being overlooked because you're not capable. You’re being overlooked because of how your leadership is being interpreted in real time. Grab the private audio feed for Asian-American corporate leaders where I break down the exact moments your authority drops...and why it has nothing to do with confidence or communication. go.nicoletsong.com/shift Haven’t left a review yet? We’d love for you to at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/school-of-self-worth/id1678655504 For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast. Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email [email protected] to share any thoughts or feedback.  Learn More About Christine Chang:  Website: http://christinechang.com https://www.instagram.com/cchangandco/Catch up with Nicole:  Website: nicoletsong.com Subscribe to her newsletterInstagram: nicoletsongTiktok: @nicoletsong_LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-tsong/

In this episode, I dig into why talented, high-achieving women, especially Asian American women, are often overlooked as leaders at work. Here’s the truth — it’s not really about confidence, communication skills, or how much you prepare, even though that’s the advice you might have gotten before. The real challenge shows up in those micro moments moments when you are caught off guard — like when a senior leader asks a tough question or you receive unexpected feedback. If you hesitate, soften your words, or doubt yourself in those moments, others are likely to see you as less of a leader. For Asian-American women, this often comes back to the way you were raised. Prioritize others, uphold your family reputation, defer to authority. And this often brings up doubt and worry in moments where you’re not prepared.  True leadership is anchored in how you stabilize yourself and hold your authority in real time. When you are rooted in your own values and have clarity about your ideas, that’s true leadership arises — without having to change who you are. THE TOP LEARNINGS IN THIS EPISODE:   Being overlooked as a leader isn’t about confidence, communication style, or visibility. [01:47]The real issue arises when I can’t stabilize myself under stress. [03:26]Simply preparing more doesn’t help in key moments if I can’t anchor myself and hold my positioning. [05:01]My upbringing, especially as an Asian American woman, can cause me to worry about others’ perceptions and fall into self-doubt. [06:51]Leadership means being able to hold my position and authority. [05:34]I don’t need to become someone else to be seen as a leader. [08:42]If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong and so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support!  Authority Shift:  You're not being overlooked because you're not capable. You’re being overlooked because of how your leadership is being interpreted in real time. Grab the private audio feed for Asian-American corporate leaders where I break down the exact moments your authority drops...and why it has nothing to do with confidence or communication. go.nicoletsong.com/shift Haven’t left a review yet? We’d love for you to at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/school-of-self-worth/id1678655504 For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast. Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email [email protected] to share any thoughts or feedback.  Catch up with Nicole:  Website: nicoletsong.com Subscribe to her newsletterInstagram: nicoletsongTiktok: @nicoletsong_LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-tsong/

You’re the one everyone relies on. You deliver. You solve problems. You hold everything together. So why are you still being overlooked? In this episode, Nicole breaks down the hidden dynamic keeping so many high-performing Asian American women stuck: becoming the invisible backbone at work. If you’ve ever been told to “be more strategic” or watched others get promoted ahead of you despite your results, this conversation will shift how you see everything. This isn’t a performance issue. It’s a perception issue. And the root of it goes deeper than you think. Nicole unpacks how the experience of being a third culture kid shapes the way you show up in your career. If you’re ready to stop being praised privately but overlooked publicly, this episode will show you the shift that changes how leadership sees you—without changing who you are. THE TOP LEARNINGS IN THIS EPISODE:   The "Invisible Backbone" Phenomenon for Asian American Women [00:00:12] Understanding the Third Culture Kid Experience [00:02:53]  Cultural Values Impacting Visibility and Leadership [00:03:38]  The Performance vs. Perception Problem [00:02:14]  The Key to Advancement: Developing Internal Authority [00:06:19]  Tangible Steps to Reclaim Authority and Shift Your Career Trajectory [00:12:12]If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support!  Asian Visibility System: Want to permanently reverse cultural conditioning and step into a life where you feel purposeful and thrive? Grab the Asian Visibility System: go.nicoletsong.com/visible. Do you struggle with boundaries? Discover the blind spots holding you back and take the Boundary Tendencies Quiz: nicoletsong.com/quiz Want to build morning habits that last so you jump out of bed with energy and clarity every morning? Join Nicole’s 5-Day Morning Challenge: go.nicoletsong.com/morning-habits Haven’t left a review yet? We’d love for you to at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/school-of-self-worth/id1678655504 For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast. Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email [email protected] to share any thoughts or feedback.  Catch up with Nicole:  Website: nicoletsong.com Subscribe to her newsletterInstagram: nicoletsongTiktok: @nicoletsong_Facebook community: Balance + BoundariesLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-tsong/

What happens when you stop letting your work define you?  In this deeply honest conversation, Nicole sits down with her longtime client, Jenny Zhang—a leader in the oncology and biotech space—whose career once demanded nearly everything from her. When Jenny first started working with Nicole, she was working 18 to 20 hour days, constantly navigating high-stakes decisions and the impact on patients’ lives. The pressure was relentless. There was no work-life balance. On the outside, she was successful. On the inside, she was overwhelmed, exhausted, and disconnected from herself. Fast forward to today. Jenny didn’t have to leave her field. She didn’t “downsize” her ambition. Instead, she transformed how she showed up within it and landed her dream role. Tune in to find out how.  This conversation is a masterclass in what becomes possible when you: Stop people-pleasingTrust your intuition (even when it doesn’t make logical sense)Believe that you don’t have to settle for “good enough”If you’ve ever felt stuck in a high-achieving but unfulfilling cycle, this episode will show you another way. THE TOP LEARNINGS IN THIS EPISODE: Defining Your Own Value in Your Work  [05:47]The Power of Saying No and Setting Boundaries  [12:32]Surrendering to Intuition and Letting Go of Control  [28:36]Prioritizing Impact Over Busyness [09:53]Surrendering to Intuition and Trusting Timing [28:36]Moving From ‘Good Enough’ to ‘Plan A’ Living  [31:37]Jenny Zhang moved to the US when she was a child but remains Chinese at heart. She is passionate about bridging the East and West cultures and helping others where she can.  She loves her work in the oncology field and is personally invested in being there for the people who may need the impact she brings through her professional life. She also thrives to be a supportive family, friend, and caring person. If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong and Jenny @ https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennyyitongzhang/ so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support!  Asian Visibility System: Want to permanently reverse cultural conditioning and step into a life where you feel purposeful and thrive? Grab the Asian Visibility System: go.nicoletsong.com/visible. Do you struggle with boundaries? Discover the blind spots holding you back and take the Boundary Tendencies Quiz: nicoletsong.com/quiz Want to build morning habits that last so you jump out of bed with energy and clarity every morning? Join Nicole’s 5-Day Morning Challenge: go.nicoletsong.com/morning-habits Haven’t left a review yet? We’d love for you to at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/school-of-self-worth/id1678655504 For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast. Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email [email protected] to share any thoughts or feedback.  Learn More About Jenny Zhang https://www.linkedin.com/in/jennyyitongzhang/[email protected] up with Nicole:  Website: nicoletsong.com Subscribe to her new

We chose to bring this popular episode back because the patterns it speaks to don’t just disappear, they resurface in new seasons. As many of you are stepping into bigger leadership roles or simply having more nuanced conversations at work, the instinct to over-explain can quietly dilute your authority, especially when the stakes feel high. This episode is a timely reset. If you’ve recently found yourself second-guessing how you communicate, adding “just one more explanation,” or feeling the need to prove your worth in conversations—this episode will meet you right where you are. This is your reminder that clarity is power, and you don’t need more words to be taken seriously. Top Learnings In This Episode Over-explaining often stems from wanting to feel heard and self-doubt (4:19-5:38)Leaving space and silence in speech increases authority and impact (2:38-3:35)Over-explaining actually decreases trust instead of building it (5:38-6:49)Simple, clear language is more powerful than complicated explanations (3:35-4:19)Eliminate filler words to improve clarity and listening ability (9:26-10:12)Speaking from the belly rather than throat increases authority (10:49-11:24)If this episode inspired you in some way, take a screenshot of you listening on your device, post it to your Instagram stories, and tag @nicoletsong so we can give you a shout-out and thank you for your support!  Asian Visibility System: Want to permanently reverse cultural conditioning and step into a life where you feel purposeful and thrive? Grab the Asian Visibility System: go.nicoletsong.com/visible. Do you struggle with boundaries? Discover the blind spots holding you back and take the Boundary Tendencies Quiz: nicoletsong.com/quiz Want to build morning habits that last so you jump out of bed with energy and clarity every morning? Join Nicole’s 5-Day Morning Challenge: go.nicoletsong.com/morning-habits Haven’t left a review yet? We’d love for you to at: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/school-of-self-worth/id1678655504 For full show notes, transcript, and links, visit nicoletsong.com/podcast. Have a question or topic you’d like Nicole to touch on in a future episode? Email [email protected] to share any thoughts or feedback.  Catch up with Nicole:  Website: nicoletsong.com Subscribe to her newsletterInstagram: nicoletsongTiktok: @nicoletsong_Facebook community: Balance + BoundariesLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/nicole-tsong/