Advertise on podcast: Football Cliches

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Carabao Cup curiosities, the exact status of Arsenal's quadruple hopes, a very subtle footballing prefix for a certain level of player, two listeners submit their 1,500-word mini-thesis on what constitutes a “finish”, the January Transfers That Just Feel So Right XI and a first-ever attempt at quiz format Happy Hunting Grounds: The Ladder. Meanwhile, the panel react to the bombshell news of Keys & Gray's departure from beIN Sports at the end of this season. Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: subtle podcast references at the darts, goal probabilities with Clinton Morrison, West Brom fans' limited patience with their new manager, football boot manufacturers appearing in Latin epic poems, Conor Coady goes full Conor Coady in his first interview as a Charlton player and selecting the best moment of Ian Holloway's latest outburst. Meanwhile, the panel debate the aesthetic and technical merits of scorpion-kick goals and ponder the exact level of their own "ball knowledge". Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Download SAILY in your app store and use code CLICHES at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase! For more info, visit https://saily.com/cliches Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations. Among the selections are Gary Neville's preoccupation with a specific touch of the ball before a shot, the best way to really enjoy an uninterrupted hour of Sky Sports News, the awkwardness of fans sat behind corner takers and a staunch defence of pundits’ right to state the obvious. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel try to decipher an Arsene Wenger sample in avant-garde music and enjoy a former Premier League defender's name popping up at the Cyclocross World Cup. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare, David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: a quickfire review of Arsenal 2 Manchester United 3, unacceptably-named Premier League top scorers in football-adjacent Danny Dyer film trailers, the prospect of an FA Cup "anthem", 12.1 seconds of a commentator not realising a team have scored and unexpected ex-Prime Ministers in the Kenyan fifth division. Meanwhile, the panel speculate on how a mundane, single-goal, mid-table game could get itself first in the Match of the Day running order. Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a familiar name pops up at the Australian Open, Arsene Wenger's "daylight" offside law to be trialled in the Canadian Premier League, what things might be on the curriculum of "Football 101", whether the relentless, scoreline-proof chanting of Bundesliga fans gets too much praise, a charming social-media dispute about the technicalities of hat-tricks and New York mayor Zohran Mamdani shows off his Premier League knowledge once again. Meanwhile, the podcast has an extended chat with Lisa Barros D’Sa and Glenn Leyburn, directors of new film Saipan, and Éanna Hardwicke, who plays the leading role of Roy Keane. Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: the unifying absurdity that was the Africa Cup of Nations final, whether Spurs vs West Ham's "El Dissatisfactico" is the worst of its genre yet, an unexpected Premier League striker's name in a ghost story, the least satisfying FA Cup draw combinations, one Arsene Wenger tweak to the laws of football that might have some appeal, and footballing body language at bus stops. Meanwhile, the panel ponder the quickest and easiest way a mere civilian could win a foul in a Premier League match. Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It’s the final outing of the winter for Cricket Cliches, the first branch line of the Cliches network, and there’s an end of term feeling as the full team assembles to see us home. We’ve got egregious commentary and a hierarchy of acceptable ways to get out before we get all ASMR and dig into some of your favourite sounds from cricket. And, of course… of course, there’s another dip into the murky, and surprisingly expansive, world of shadow cricket. It’s very much not just batting. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Shane Todd on post-save goalkeeper emotions & professional footballer-botherer Rio Ferdinand The pod welcomes comedian and presenter Shane Todd for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as he chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football. Among Shane's selections are 5-a-side games with fellow comedians, performatively angry post-save goalkeepers, Rio Ferdinand's uncategorisable current line of work, pre-internet transfer news and our collective curiosity with the day jobs of non-league FA Cup heroes. Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel enjoy a tiny slice of pure Pep Guardiola, and hear a charmingly naive football reference in ice hockey commentary. Shane Todd is off on tour in 2026 with his new show Hold Me Back. Tickets available at ShaneToddComedy.com Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a minor technicality with Cup-upset measuring, the size of the chunk of Antoine Semenyo's fee he had paid back, Scott McTominay's many nicknames, an unacceptable phrase for a team bottom of the table, a four-way footballing dilemma you have absolutely never considered before and Arsenal flops' names in Bruce Springsteen duets, Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Manchester United's legacy machine cranks into gear again, some confusion over the pronunication of Chelsea's new manager, a familiar sound in a mid-90s wrestling arcade game, unlikely common ground between River Plate and Coronation Street's Ken Barlow, a teacher breaks some football news to his class of Year 8s and a relatively deep data dive into Richard Keys’ lesser-known catchphrase. Meanwhile, the panel decide the level of football at which they would simply be a hindrance to their team at right-back. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Visit nordvpn.com/cliches to get four extra months on a two-year plan with NordVPN Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: a whistle-stop tour of the media reaction to Chelsea and Manchester United's managerial upheaval, the Premier League finally unleashes its video archive, Eddie Howe queries the "onslaught" threshold, some quintessential West Hamming, some unprecedented co-commentary homework, hyperlocal derby technicalities, and Richard Keys kicking off his 2026 with an absolute bang. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

The fifth outing for the Cricket Cliches crew but are they now set? And what does that mean, anyway? The shadow batting debate intensifies as we enter the second innings; Tickers (and most of the audience) are on #TeamGallen and we’re all checking on our sanity with Internal Athers. There could only be one topic at the centre of our conversation; it’s the strip at the centre of the game. Was the pitch at Melbourne a snake-pit or a minefield, or something else entirely, and is ‘curator’ a bit much for the bloke who cuts the grass? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the freescoring Dominic Calvert-Lewin passes a very particular threshold, Match of the Day exceeds its goalkeeper pundit quota, Joe Cole somehow morphs into Harry Redknapp on the radio, Michael B Jordan renames AFC Bournemouth, absurd salary-cap developments in the USA... and a tree with Richard Keys's voice. Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

While England self-immolate, Cricket Cliches maintains its admittedly modest run of form in our fourth outing. Aussie commentators Aaron Finch and Adam Gilchrist are taken to task as they play fast and loose… with words. Picking up where we left off with the classification of lower-order runs, we think about the individuals doing the damage. Do you know which end of the bat to hold? Seems like the bare minimum. And, with the help of an impressively-named correspondent, we compare the yin and yang of watching cricket when your team is either batting or bowling. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Every football pundit ever, condensed into one approximated voice; accidental nursery rhymes in Champions League commentary; last-gasp Cliches Quiz drama; red-card timekeeping technicalities; "Hawk on!", Niclas Fullkrug’s oddly awe-inspiring forehead; Richard Keys and a legendary two-hour livestream; a man called Rudi Voller; solving one of the greatest football TV mysteries of all time; Tom Cruise’s Champions League final punditry; The Agyemang Cacophony; football’s increasingly ludicrous uses of the word “amid”; the Match of the Day intro scandal; Jamie O’Hara vs the RAF, the "Club X til I die" loophole; homegrown stewards and some retro Andy Gray perfection. As Football Clichés showcases the podcast's very best moments of 2025, our thanks to everyone for listening, contributing, subscribing and live-show attending. Bring on 2026... Sign up for Dreamland, the new members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices