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In the privacy of our own minds, we sometimes imagine the strangest, ghastliest things happening to those we love. We’re not insane, simply up against the complexity of all close human relationships. Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://t.ly/LuC6S Be more mindful, present and inspired. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: https://t.ly/nf2j5 FURTHER READING “It feels very shameful – terrifying – to admit but there are times when we may find ourselves daydreaming about a terrible thing happening to someone close to us. Deep in the privacy of our minds, we may feel it would be a huge relief if a partner or family member could just vanish from the face of the earth. They might be run over at a crossing; their plane might go down; they could contract a rare and quickly fatal illness (it wouldn’t hurt at all)...” You can read more on this and other subjects here: https://goo.gl/8cLLfM MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on RELATIONSHIPS in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLrelationships SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ X: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Sara Nesteruk https://vimeo.com/saranesteruk http://www.saranesteruk.co.uk/ #TheSchoolOfLife Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In 1888, a penniless Dutchman, who would in a few months be committed to an asylum and be dead within two years, sat down in the eastern corner of the Place du Forum in Arles and set to work on one of the most astonishing and beloved paintings ever made. The story is so familiar that we are apt to lose sight of its ongoing relevance and universal import… Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://t.ly/8vsZk Be more mindful, present and inspired. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: https://t.ly/Y8G-N FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects here: https://bit.ly/3YQYvpD “In mid-September 1888, a penniless Dutchman, who would in a few months be committed to an asylum and be dead within two years, sat down in the eastern corner of the Place du Forum in Arles and set to work on one of the most astonishing and beloved paintings ever made. ‘Café Terrace at Night’ juxtaposes our snug night time rituals under our defiant man-made lamps with the ultimate mysteries and sublimity of the cosmos. And yet, as we know, Van Gogh found no buyers for his masterpiece; no museum came begging, no gallery gave a damn. His work appeared wholly worthless to his entire era. He could barely afford lunch or a new pair of shoes. The local children mocked him. Rarely has a more despised or marginal figure walked the earth…” MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on SELF in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLself SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ X: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-school-of-life-for-business/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Natalia Beigaj https://www.nb-animation.com/ Title animation produced in collaboration with Vale Productions https://www.valeproductions.co.uk/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Emotional Intelligence, Daily. Start now: https://www.theschooloflife.com/subscription/ Get weekly insights for better relationships, deeper self-knowledge, and inner calm straight to your inbox: https://www.theschooloflife.com/signup/ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

No animal, perhaps, can hate itself except - of course - a human being: it’s one of the strangest, and most regrettable, flaws in our condition. This tendency to self-hatred is not only destructive of our spirit, it constantly undermines our efforts to establish workable relationships. Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://t.ly/l5ch7 Be more mindful, present and inspired. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: https://t.ly/-ktXc FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects here: https://bit.ly/3nLEUKp “No animal, perhaps, can hate itself except - of course - a human being: it’s one of the strangest, and most regrettable, flaws in our condition. This tendency to self-hatred is not only destructive of our spirit, it constantly undermines our efforts to establish workable relationships, for it is logically impossible to allow anyone else to love us insofar as we remain obsessed by the thought of our own loathsome natures. Why let another think better of us than we think of ourselves? If anyone did step forward and tried to be kind to us, we would have to despise them with the intensity owed to all false flatterers…” MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on RELATIONSHIPS in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLrelationships SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ X: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-school-of-life-for-business/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Aaron Sampson https://www.motionmaverick.com/ Title animation produced in collaboration with Vale Productions https://www.valeproductions.co.uk/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Partners who break up frequently think that the nicest thing to do is to try to remain good friends. But this nice-sounding gesture frequently brings with it unexpected consequences. Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://t.ly/G7Uq6 Be more mindful, present and inspired. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: https://t.ly/KaXvd FURTHER READING “There are some very strong and socially-endorsed reasons why partners breaking up generally try to remain friends.To the person being – however nicely – rejected, the promise of friendship can feel like an emotionally-reassuring consolation prize. We may no longer be allowed to share their bed, have children with them or end our days in their company, but at least something can be rescued from the ashes: we will continue to be able to call them when we like, share our fears and go to the movies together...” You can read more on this and other subjects here: https://goo.gl/GR45p2 MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on RELATIONSHIPS in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLrelationships SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ X: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Animation by Martin Stacey http://www.martinstacey.co.uk & Neil Evan http://www.neilevan.com #TheSchoolOfLife Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We often equate true love with being accepted 'for who we really are'. But given how many flaws we all have, true love has to include a process of mutual education we would be wise to accept with good grace. Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://t.ly/zLI6L Be more mindful, present and inspired. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: https://t.ly/4U_ez FURTHER READING “One of the most delightful and thrilling aspects of the early days of a love affair is the sense that our lover likes us not only for our obvious qualities – perhaps our looks, or our professional accomplishments – but also, and far more touchingly, for our less impressive sides: our vulnerabilities, our hesitations, our flaws. Perhaps they are particularly taken by the gap between our two front teeth which, while it wouldn’t impress an orthodontist, charms them distinctly. Or perhaps they are taken by our shyness at busy parties or are powerfully drawn to that old pair of pyjamas with the bear prints which we put on on cold winter nights and which would win no fashion award…” You can read more on this here: https://goo.gl/b44pYT MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Our website has classes, articles and products to help you think and grow: https://goo.gl/59H6J9 Watch more films on RELATIONSHIPS in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLreltionships You can submit translations and transcripts on all of our videos here: https://www.youtube.com/timedtext_cs_panel?c=UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog&tab=2 Find out how more here: https://support.google.com/youtube/answer/6054623?hl=en-GB SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Brett Underhill https://vimeo.com/porkchopbob http://www.porkchopbob.com/ #TheSchoolOfLife Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There’s so much pressure on us to be always rational, calm and sensible: it’s time also to say a word about the essential normality of a little madness. Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://t.ly/r3OcA Be more mindful, present and inspired. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: https://t.ly/-sjra FURTHER READING You can read more on this here: https://goo.gl/QBqUsD MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE More films on SELF in our playlist below: http://bit.ly/TSOLself Do you speak a different language to English? Did you know you can submit Subtitles on all of our videos on YouTube? For instructions how to do this click here: https://goo.gl/eBzPrF SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Artrake Studio http://www.artrake.com/ #TheSchoolOfLife ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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We all want to change our partners in one way or another – but the best way to do this isn’t generally through long and serious speeches. It’s through well-targeted, warmly delivered jokes. Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://t.ly/KGj_B Be more mindful, present and inspired. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: https://t.ly/Yv625 FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects here: https://goo.gl/hF3ATg MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on RELATIONSHIPS in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLrelationships SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ X: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Khyan Mansley Http://www.youtube.com/user/khyan1 https://twitter.com/khyan #TheSchoolOfLife Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

People have failed throughout history but the way the failure has been interpreted has changed throughout the ages in fascinating ways. Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://t.ly/_O4Iw Be more mindful, present and inspired. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: https://t.ly/lgCJY SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ X: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITS Brought to you by http://theschooloflife.com Produced in collaboration with Mad Adam https://madadamfilms.co.uk #TheSchoolOfLife ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

One of the most instructive stories in Greek mythology is to be found in Book 12 of Homer’s Odyssey, where the central figure, Odysseus, king of Ithaca, is described as having to sail past an island inhabited by some compelling female figures known as the Sirens, famous for luring sailors to their deaths on their island’s rocky shoreline by the sound of their song. Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://www.theschooloflife.com/the-school-of-life-youtube/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=description&utm_campaign=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDjlHY5Z2xI&t=7s Learn, heal and grow. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: https://www.theschooloflife.com/signup/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=description&utm_campaign=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDjlHY5Z2xI&t=7s FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects in our articles, here: https://www.theschooloflife.com/article/why-we-sometimes-need-to-be-tied-to-a-mast/?utm_source=youtube&utm_medium=description&utm_campaign=When%20You%20Need%20to%20Give%20Up%20Control “One of the most instructive stories in Greek mythology is to be found in Book 12 of Homer’s Odyssey, where the central figure, Odysseus, king of Ithaca, is described as having to sail past an island inhabited by some compelling female figures known as the Sirens, famous for luring sailors to their deaths on their island’s rocky shoreline by the sound of their song…” MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on SELF in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLself SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: X: https://x.com/TheSchoolOfLife/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-school-of-life/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@theschooloflife?lang=en CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Natalia Biegaj https://www.nb-animation.com/ Title animation produced in collaboration with Graeme Probert www.gpmotion.co.uk Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Many of us are struggling with an intensely critical inner voice, one who relentlessly punishes us for failing to live up to an impossible standard. Taming this voice requires us to recognise where it is coming from and what may be driving its fury. Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://t.ly/mQN5R Be more mindful, present and inspired. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: https://t.ly/5kR8T The School of Life runs a global online psychotherapy service that assists clients from over 40 countries. To find out more and book a session today, please visit our website: https://t.ly/xP3EL FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects here: https://bit.ly/389sDUu “One of the tedious aspects of having problems with our minds is that we need to take more of an interest in how they work than untroubled people do: we have to become mind mechanics because something is hurting inside. A particularly noxious problem that afflicts many of us is that we are almost permanently anxious, self-critical, self-hating and afflicted by a sense that we don’t deserve to exist. We are definitely not good enough. Ever…” MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on SELF in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLself SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ X: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Deanca Rensyta Mihardja https://www.behance.net/deancarensa5a9 Title animation produced in collaboration with Vale Productions https://www.valeproductions.co.uk/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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It can be surprisingly difficult for us to accept that a major cause of much of our mental distress may be nothing so dramatic as a lack of sleep. Getting better requires us to take our need for sleep seriously. Enjoying our Youtube videos? Get full access to all our audio content, videos, and thousands of thought-provoking articles, conversation cards and more with The School of Life Subscription: https://t.ly/16ZKb Be more mindful, present and inspired. Get the best of The School of Life delivered straight to your inbox: https://t.ly/FbO5z FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects here: https://bit.ly/3aQc8y6 “Part of the reason why many of us have a tangled and unhelpful relationship to sleep can be traced back to the way we first learnt about the subject many years ago. Parents of small children tend to be very careful about bedtimes. They favour early nights, they give their babies plenty of naps throughout the day, they think a lot about black-out curtains, they are quick to diagnose many instances of bad temper as stemming from a background deficit of rest and while they may be indulgent in some areas, they are likely to be entirely implacable in any negotiation over routines: seven p.m. lights out, no ifs ands or buts…” MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Watch more films on SELF in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLself SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ X: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Hannah O’brien https://www.hanobrien.com/ Title animation produced in collaboration with Vale Productions https://www.valeproductions.co.uk/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Emotional Intelligence, Daily. Start now: https://www.theschooloflife.com/subscription/ Get weekly insights for better relationships, deeper self-knowledge, and inner calm straight to your inbox: https://www.theschooloflife.com/signup/ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ ​ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices