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Why is it always men that are into foot fetishes?  And speaking of feet, a woman has a pair of fetish shoes that no longer fit. She wants to make sure they go to a loving home, but how?  Our guest this week is Peter McGraw, author of "Solo: Building a Remarkable Life of your Own." In this antidote to Valentine's Day, Dan and Peter talk about how and why more people are choosing to be single these days. We should perhaps give up on the outdated idea that happiness must be bundled with monogamous long term partnership. This is a great conversation- some of it is on the Micro, and all of it is on the Magnum.  And, ever since they had their baby, a man and his wife only have sex in the shower. It's become so routine, he's beginning to dread sex. How can he get his wife to agree to something new? Q@Savage.Love         206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.  Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage This episode is brought to you by the Meridian Trimmer, the very best tool to trim your body hair. Go to MeridianGrooming.com and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 15% off. 

A hearty Valentine's Day to all of you freaky, perverted, lovelorn wretches. We begin the show with a humdinger of a call from a man whose wedding night is shaping up to be very special indeed.  A married woman shares a phone with her husband. She notices that the ads served on his Instagram feed are very different from what she sees. He sees AI generated, photo-shopped sex vixens. She's treated to arts & crafts blogs. Is Insta pushing sexual images based on his basic demographic? (Straight dude.) Or does the Algorithm know more about her husband than she does? Dan calls up a social media expert for this one.  On the Magnum, we welcome back intimacy expert Rena Martine to help a caller in her mid 30s who has never had penetrative sex before. Why is she avoiding it? How can she tell future lovers about her mindset, grow into a full sexual life?  And, a bi man has started focusing on men over women. But his dick hasn't gotten the memo. How can he learn to keep his erection for the men he's so attracted to?  Q@Savage.Love 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows ! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.  This episode is brought to you by Hims, providing affordable access to ED treatment, online. Start your free online visit today at Hims.com/Savage. Get a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale at https://www.stamps.com/savage.

We are still shocked that Ezra Klein (of the NYT and the Ezra Klein Show) agreed to come on our smutty little podcast. They talked about Ezra's time as a monogamous straight man embedded in San Fransisco's polyamorous culture. They compared the current NYC hipster version of the poly scene vs San Fransisco's meld of tech bros and hippies. And they talk about how the nuclear family is failing as a functional support system. Some of this great convo is on the Micro, and the whole thing is on the Magnum.  Also on this week's show, when a man and his boyfriend go to the gym in their conservative town, he notices that they both "butch up" and quit acting like a couple. How can they learn to act naturally in scary straight spaces?  A woman just had a baby 4 months ago. Her husband went to a bachelor party and got a lap dance. They are just starting to have sex again, but she feels insecure, and has started to eroticize her jealousy in a way that feels unhealthy to her. Complicated! Q@Savage.Love. 206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows ! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.  This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $80 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage.

"Enough with the poly! " Or so says this gay man, who is sick of being disrespected by his boyfriend catting around, acting like a no-good cad and using polyamory as a shield.  Meanwhile, can't a homo in the rural West have nice, no-strings-attached hook-ups anymore? All the men he meets want to get married or something.  On the Magnum, Dan brings on comedian Dulcé Sloan from The Daily Show to talk about the perils of dating menfolk. Apparently, it's dangerous out there.  And, a woman's boyfriend used to drink too much and drive drunk. She put the hammer down, and he cut way back on drinking claiming he never gets behind the wheel when he's had a few. But she knows he still drinks with his buddies and lies about how much. She likes a drink now and again. Is she being hypocritical and controlling? Or is his consumption creeping back up to dangerous and out of control?  Q@Savage.Love      206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.  This episode is brought to you by Liberator: makers of an amazing amount of shapes and other products that fuel your desires AND make sex easier, better, and longer. Go to LIBERATOR.com and use the promo code “SAVAGE” to save 40% off the best-selling Wedge Ramp Combo. Liberator wants BETTER SEX FOR EVERYBODY, and that starts with YOU.

A man's wife had to quit drinking due to a medical condition. They used to get tipsy and have wild sex. Now that she can't drink the sex has become rote and inhibited. They plan to go on vacation together, but the caller feels that if they can't have their free-wheeling sex, he doesn't want go on vacation at all.  Don't you want to hear Dan's conversation with an adult baby/diaper lover? Yes, yes you do.  On the Magnum, a gay man is looking for the most penis-like sex toy he can find that doesn't leak toxic, hormone-disrupting chemicals. Dan brings on our resident sex toy expert, Erika Moen to go over the possibilities. And...pineapples! What do they REALLY mean? Q@Savage.Love     206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase. This episode is brought to you by the Meridian Trimmer, the very best tool to trim your body hair. Go to MeridianGrooming.com and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 15% off.  Foria is an all natural health & sexual wellness company with product lines using the power of plant actives & CBD to effectively enhance intimacy, sexual pleasure, daily wellbeing, and relief from discomfort. Get 20% off your first order by visiting ForiaWellness.com/Savage

A gay man's best friend has such a devastating crush on him, that they can't be friends anymore. The caller begged him to try to get over it. But crushes are crushing. Is there anything this (platonically) jilted caller can do?  Here's the scenario: A straight, divorced woman starting dating a *wonderful* man, and they started seeing each other exclusively. He really is spectacular. But then she received a message on Instagram from a woman claiming to be his other girlfriend, who also thinks she's dating him exclusively. He promised to fly straight, stop the lying and stick with the caller. She notices that he has a Snapchat account that he uses suspiciously. He gets calls from other women all the time. He has kids from a previous marriage, but he hasn't told his children about her. Guess why he got divorced. He was cheating all the time! Here's the heart-breaking punchline to this call: Her question is- how can she learn to get over her paranoia and just trust this guy?  On the Magnum, here's an etiquette question: Is it appropriate for a dominatrix to command her subs to buy her costumes and gear? That stuff ain't cheap. Dan brings on the formidable dominatrix Inanna Justice to talk about the things we can and can't ask our subs to do for us.  And a woman is the secondary in poly relationship. She is grieving the fact that she will never get to live with him and experience the mundane intimacies of a primary relationship. Ah, to fold his laundry, just once!  Q@Savage.Love       206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows ! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.  This episode is brought to you by Hims, providing affordable access to ED treatment, online. Start your free online visit today at Hims.com/Savage. Get a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale at https://www.stamps.com/savage. Thanks to Stamps.com for sponsoring the show!

Happy Feast of the Ass for all who celebrate! A gay man is fed up with the guys who try to use the gym as their personal hook-up site. When the leering moves into harassment, should he tell management? Or is this just to be expected in gay male spaces?  A recently divorced straight man is hot to trot. He dates casually, but catches feelings so soon, that he scares off the women. How can he learn to take it slow?  On the Magnum, we are delighted to welcome Damona Hoffman back to the show. Listen in as these titans of the dating advice world chitty-chat, spar and dish it up together. Hoffman's new book "F THE FAIRY TALE: Rewrite the Dating Myths and Live Your Own Love Story" is all about the myths we believe about dating, and how to cultivate a more realistic, successful approach to finding people.  And, a gay man hooked up with a much older man (with a giant penis, incidentally.) The man asked the caller if he would be into some BDSM. The caller has never been interested in kink, especially with someone he barely knows. But could "maybe, eventually" get there? How can he communicate his reticence, and still leave the door open, just a crack? Heh heh. Crack.  Q@Savage.Love.  206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.  This episode is brought to you by Talkspace- online therapy that makes it easy to get extra mental health support. For $80 off your first month, go to Talkspace.com and use the offer code Savage. This episode is brought to you by the Meridian Trimmer, the very best tool to trim your body hair. Go to MeridianGrooming.com and use the code SAVAGE for an exclusive 15% off. 

A German lesbian was propositioned by a younger grad student. (This sounds like a porno but it's not.) The grad student was raised in a conservative environment, and it's the first time she's ever spoken of her female attraction. They only have a month before they both move away. Should the caller get down with the girl or restrain herself? In a very different call, a gay man has applied for a job at the church he used to volunteer for when he was much younger. Why did he quit, you ask? The clergyman he worked under sexually assaulted him, and then spread lies about him when the caller refused to go along with it. The caller doesn't know how to explain this to the church leadership today. And they will ask questions... On the Magnum, the queer podcasting stars align, as Dan brings on McKenzie Goodwin and Rachel Scanlon of "2 Dykes and a Mic." Obviously, they had a lot to talk about. Queer joy. Trans women in lesbian spaces. Pronouns. Getting "hermed." We love these two dykes with all our might, and so will you. Finally, a woman used to enjoy anal sex with her ex-boyfriend. But her fiancé of 7 years has a big ole beer can, and she can't fit that thing in without having to tap out instantly. Are there any techniques she can use to learn to enjoy butt stuff? She did the right thing! She asked Dan and so can you.  Q@Savage.Love    206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows ! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.  This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

A lesbian has a terrible b******t detector. She keeps falling for lies and getting conned. How can our credulous heroine protect herself from lying liars?  A man and his ex- girlfriend are utterly estranged. She has cut off all contact from him. But he noticed that she is still using his Netflix password. What's more, he can see what she's watching and when. He doesn't mind letting her mooch off his subscription, but it feels like an invasion of her privacy to see what she's viewing. His question is whether he should also stop paying for her Magnum subscription to the Lovecast for the same reason. And since she's a power Lovecast fan, she will definitely hear this... On the Magnum, Jen Hecht of Building Healthy Online Communities works with dating apps to inspire a more polite, and healthy dating scene. Her org worked with app companies to craft messages urging gay men to get the monkeypox vaccine. She and Dan talk about her work and strategies to be successful on the apps.  And, it's the OTHER WOMAN! A few weeks ago, Dan chatted with Amy and April from "Shameless Sex" to counsel a man whose primary partner asked him to shut down his new relationship after they opened up. Now they are forbidden from communicating, but the other woman isn't forbidden from calling a sex & relationship advice podcast that she knows he listens to... You wanna talk to me? Just talk to me:  Q@Svage.Love   206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Hims, providing affordable access to ED treatment, online. Start your free online visit today at Hims.com/Savage. This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows ! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.  Get a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale at https://www.stamps.com/savage. Thanks to Stamps.com for sponsoring the show!

For this very special Sex & Politics, we invite you to leave your earthly cares behind and explore with us what sex would be like...in space!  It turns out, it will be terrible. Dr. Kelly and Zach Weinersmith, authors of "A City on Mars," are on to talk about the difficult logistics of both recreational and procreational sex on Mars. Learn about a sex test using geckos, the "snuggle tunnel," and, how we must use the "rocket equation" to answer Dan's question: "How far can you shoot a load in space?" Would monogamy or polyamory best suit life on the red planet? YOU WILL FIND OUT.  Although it might seem sexy for Elon Musk to rule mars (to Elon Musk,) Zach warns us that "Space is a giant superfund site that is also trying to kill you with psychics." Not so hot.  This is a very fun convo, so Santa is giving it to Magnum and Micro listeners alike. Happy holidays, friends. 

Dick pic backfire! When a woman received an image of her sexting partner's wiener, she was distressed to see small white bumps adorning his penis. Could it be HPV? That's bad, right? Should she tell him? Does he know already?  Ah, the folks you'll meet online...A woman connected with a man via Tinder who claimed to have regular vacation sex with his mother. She then found a Reddit community full of folks all claiming the same thing. Is this real? Do we have to date men who have sex with their mothers now?  On the Magnum, welcome to the seedy, shady and lucrative world of the NoFap movement. In this "What You Got," Dan interviews neuroscientist and sex researcher Dr. Nicole Prause who analyzed the violent culture of the men who are convinced that masturbation drains them of their masculinity.  A trans woman is a switch. She can be the dom, she can be the sub. But she usually ends up domming because of the general shortage of doms. How can a trans gal get tied up already?  Q@Savage.Love     206-302-2064 This episode is brought to you by Dipsea: an app full of hundreds of short, sexy audio stories designed by women for women. Get an extended 30 day free trial when you go to dipseastories.com/savage.  This episode is brought to you by Squarespace. They make it easy to build a website or blog. Give it a whirl at Squarespace.com/Savage and if you want to buy it, use the code Savage for a 10% off your first purchase.

A married gay man endured a sexless relationship for 10 long years... until he didn't. After cheating, he is getting a divorce. But now the caller feels villainized, as his ex-husband spins the story out to their friends. How can he avoid being painted as the bad guy?  A dad just got a delicious Prince Albert piercing. How can he explain this new jewelry when his young son sees it?  On the Magnum: when your career focuses on education around sexually transmitted infections, you are a very busy lady. Dan brings back the ever-informative Dr. Ina Park to talk about home remedies for herpes, PrEP for women and other questions relating to the modern plagues.  And, when introverts marry extroverts: Sometimes it works perfectly. But this alpha female wishes her man would make some friends already.  We are your best friends. Call us up! 206-302-2064 Q@Savage.Love This episode is brought to you by Liberator: makers of an amazing amount of shapes and other products that fuel your desires AND make sex easier, better, and longer. Go to LIBERATOR.com and use the promo code “SAVAGE” to save 40% off the best-selling Wedge Ramp Combo. Liberator wants BETTER SEX FOR EVERYBODY, and that starts with YOU. This episode is brought to you by Helix Sleep. Helix is offering 20% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows ! Go to HelixSleep.com/Savage. With Helix, better sleep starts now.  Get a 4-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale at https://www.stamps.com/savage. Thanks to Stamps.com for sponsoring the show!