Advertise on podcast: Pisces – Stoner Astrological Horoscope

Stoner Pisces, you are the emotional core of the stoner Zodiac. Your ability to empathize remains unmatched, and your willingness to listen, laugh, and light one up with your fellow tokin’ terrestrial astronauts seems endless.  You should definitely continue the mantra of sharing is caring, just make sure that you are giving yourself the care you need first.  Afterall, it’s great to share a bowl with a friend in need, to puff, puff, and pass on the good vibes, but this doesn’t mean that you have to give away your entire stash and positivity:  Leave some for yourself my friendly Fish. Don’t worry stoner Pisces if you feel a little like a fish-out-of-water in the early days of the month. This is expected because your usual, chronically calm and cool demeanor is set to get shaken up by the Sun's invigorating rays.  At least for the early days of June, you should steer clear of Sativa-dominant strains. The additional solar energy might take a little getting used to. The goal is to harness that extra energy, and channel it into creative endeavors and new adventures; not to end up with your mind racing while you go nowhere fast.  You should keep your stash jars and smoke sessions filled with Indica-dominant or hybrid strains like Wedding Cake, Blue Dream, or any of the Gorilla Glue family. These feel-good greens will help you harness the power of the Sun, and turn it into forward moving momentum and growth, while still keeping you grounded. Stoner Pisces, as the month progresses you will get used to operating at a higher energy frequency.  Once the Summer solstice hits on the 21st, all systems and strains are a go!  If any of your current cannabis companions can’t keep up with your newfound fast pace, it’s okay to find a new school of stoners to swim and sesh with for a while.

Hopefully your cosmic space suit is ready my frisky Fish. The universe has cleared your airspace of any external obstacles, and you are clear for takeoff. So, buckle up stoner Pisces, because this month it is all systems go! It may have taken you longer to get off the ground than some of your peers, but throughout the month you will continue to soar ever higher until you reach your cruising altitude. Remember, you’re in the cockpit my high-flying Fish; how high you climb, and how far you journey will be up to you. With nothing but wide-open skies ahead, you can expect your trajectory to be meteoric. Before you get blazing at full speed, be sure to spend a few days early in the month plotting your course. This doesn’t mean you have to spend hours in official meditative smoke sessions, planning every part or imagining every possibility of your journey. This month, a little time with the sacred herb will go a long way.  Although you will have the time to take the scenic route, or to get lost wandering, it is still a good idea to have a final destination in mind. Just be sure to toke a few moments to puff puff and plan. It is important to look before you launch stoner Pisces. While until recently it felt like you were trailing behind your fellow terrestrial cannanauts, now you find yourself in pole position. Just keep in mind that not everything this month needs to be a competition. Now you are the friend in the lead with plenty of greens. But it wasn’t so long ago that you were the one who needed a little help from their friends. So be mindful stoner Pisces. While for you, the sky might be the limit, you have a few partners-in-chronic who will need a lift in order to soar among the clouds.

Stoner Pisces, March was all about breaking away from the smoke circle to sit quietly with your thoughts and the sacred herb. It was a time to light up, to look inward, and take some much needed ‘Me Time.’  Hopefully you took advantage of this period to recreate, reflect, and hit the reset button. Because this month you will be rejoining your fellow tokin’ terrestrial cannanauts for happening hangouts and hotbox sessions. We start April off with a New Moon my frisky Fish. Which aligns perfectly for showing your partners-in-chronic the new you. And whether or not they notice your rediscovered inner peace, they are sure to notice you have gotten your groove back. So roll up a few joints, and invite your cannabis companions to join you in a celebratory smoke session. Stoner Pisces everything seems to be on the rise this April. The weather is heating up, your optimism is elevated, and you can even expect to grow your financial greens too! Just remember that while building up your bank account is nice, it can be even easier to burn through those hard-earned bucks. To ensure your accounts don’t dip into the red, you will have to balance your eagerness to earn, and your readiness to spend. After the bills are paid, go ahead and splurge a little stoner Pisces. Treat yourself to some of your favorite top shelf buds, or a few extra edibles for the weekend. But, remember that you will save more, and can even smoke more, by sticking with mid-shelf selections most days. Stoner Pisces, you should still make medicated meditation sessions part of your weekly routine.  Maintain the calm you’ve cultivated over the past couple months. But, with Spring in full bloom, it’s time to light up and let loose. Your year may have started out with a slow burn my friendly Fish, but by the end of April, you’ll be blazing with the best of them.

Stoner Pisces, you’ve spent the first months of 2022 playing the role of helper and healer to your cannabis companions. You were there for your smoke circle through their low moments, as well as the highs.  But now we are in Pisces season my frisky Fish.  This month really is all about YOU! It’s time to toke a break from being everyone else’s ganja guru, and focus on giving yourself the attention that you need. Start off the first days of March with deep and dank meditative smoke sessions. Spend time away from the smoke circle stoner Pisces; just you, your favorite pipe, and the sacred herb.  Whether it’s your favorite secluded smoke spot, or in the comfort of your cozy stoney sanctuary; find a peaceful place where you can light up the loud, and quiet your mind. Consider cerebrally-stimulating strains like Blue Dream or White Widow when selecting your herbal aids for these moments of medicated meditation.  Blue Dream is ideal for when you are focused on holistic healing. Its vapors can uplift your consciousness, ease bodily tensions, and calm your spirit. It will help you enter into a contemplative state of mind without getting lost in thought, or stuck on the couch. Stoner Pisces, switch up your prescription to White Widow when you are ready to turn reflection and exploration into implementation. It can be a bit more stimulating, and might leave you restless if you don’t have an outlet for the elevated creative energy. But it is a great strain for when you are really getting back into the groove of getting things done. Just remember that the goal of this month’s solo smoke sessions isn’t to avoid your friends and cannabis companions. It’s about giving yourself the space and time you need to look in the mirror, and like what you see. So be mindful of your fellow tokin’ terrestrial astronauts, but stay focused on you, my friendly Fish. 

Stoner Pisces, did you enjoy a mellow start to the new year? Did you use the first month of 2022 to grind up the ganja and give yourself the time needed to gather your thoughts? For those of you who embraced the opportunity to slow your roll, you can prepare yourself for an equally peaceful and stoney sequel this February. And for those who chose to chase the chaos instead of the calm, make sure you don’t miss out on this second chance to pursue a more peaceful path. You are equal parts compassionate and chronic-loving my stoner Pisces. And in recent times you have been called to play the role of both a friend indeed and the partner-in-chronic others have grown to expect will gladly supply the greens when they need. While this will still be the trend for February, you should keep your third-eye sight open and on the lookout for those whose moods might throw off your groove. Although you are usually deeply attuned to and influenced by the feelings of those in your orbit, you have been able to avoid absorbing the negative emanations from those nearest to you.  My stoner Pisces, this February, you will still get to fulfill the role of the friendliest fish that you strive to be, but the cosmic protections against the negative vibrations of your fellow terrestrial travelers will wane as the month progresses. Stoner Pisces, the best plan for a blissful month is to surround yourself with those cannabis companions you know are all about high times and good vibes. Of course, you can still be there to pick up those you encounter who look like they need to share a fresh bowl and who need a friendly ear to listen. Just don’t spend the whole month trying to lift the spirits of others at the risk of bringing your own spirits down.

Stoner Pisces, if 2021 left you feeling dazed and confused, I’m here to remind you that you’re not alone. Remember that for every low moment, there were hazy highs that provided a counterbalance to those trying and tumultuous times. While other stoner star signs are focused on New Year’s resolutions, for you, January is about hitting the reset button rather than a complete reimagining. So, take a few weeks to pause, puff, and truly stop to smell and smoke the flowers. My stoner Pisces, you have been swimming through rough waters, but now you will get to enjoy a more mellow flow as you traverse new cosmic currents. There are really only two things that should be on your to-do list this month:  Cannabis and Contemplation.  There is zero reason to rush, so relax my friendly Fish.  When it comes to the sinsemilla you smoke during this Winter season, it will be important to find strains that help to mediate your mood. If you find yourself having trouble breaking away from the daily grind, the sacred herb can bring you solace. When the mind won’t stop racing, reach for the mellow green, my stoney Fish. Classics like Jack Herer will help you find your center, and bring you back to the here and now; other strains like AC/DC will lead you down the highway to well. Pack the bowl with big buds of Blue Dream and OG Kush when you are vibing nice, and want to keep the positivity flowing.  You have the whole year ahead of you to reach for the stars stoner Pisces, so for now, it is time to relax here on Earth, and recharge your cosmic spacesuit. You can always look ahead to what the future may hold, but this month, just light one up and let it be.

Stoner Pisces, no matter what the past eleven months have held, you can look forward to a peaceful completion to 2021. It may not always feel like it when you’re in the moment, but as you look back on the year that was, you can be proud that you embraced all the highs, and overcame even the lowest lows, to become a wiser and stronger you! Those who are fortunate to call you their partner-in-chronic will notice your elevated confidence, and your newfound groove. Especially when it comes to your interpersonal relationships, my easygoing Fish, you can expect good vibes to abound. Romantic prospects will get taken to the next level, and even platonic connections—those who you love, but are exclusively your four-twenty-friendly friends—will enjoy a period filled with good greens and great people. Even when everyone is thriving and vibing, lighting up and living the high life, it can be important to break away from the social smoke scene for time to relax, reflect, and toke alone. While refreshing and recharging your own cosmic spacesuit is important, this down time isn’t just for your own peace, stoner Pisces. You may have partners-in-chronic who need a break from all the hot-boxing, but who may not want to hurt feelings by passing on a smoke session. Read the room stoner Pisces. Be mindful of when everyone’s eyes are looking a little more red than usual, and when it might be time to call it a night. But, don’t worry my slippery Fish.  Even if you don’t join the canna-crew for every chronicle, or you missed out on the last epic endo-excursion, there are sure to be many more ahead! You really couldn’t ask for a greater ending to this year; or a better beginning to the next. The relationships you’ve nurtured over the past twelve months, and the connections you’ve cultivated, will lay the groundwork for limitless growth in 2022. As you welcome the New Year, keep your spirits high stoner Pisces, and keep your optimism even higher! Tweet

Take a deep breath stoner Pisces.  Hold it.  Hold it.  And exhale.  Breathe easy my stoner Fish. There is no need to rush through November. This autumn is all about kicking back and lighting up.  So go ahead, pack another bowl and allow yourself to really slow your roll. Of course you should continue finishing up the current tasks on your to-do list, but now is not the time to make big commitments or take on new projects. You’ve been moving at breakneck speed all year; so you should take full advantage of this more mellow pace to rest and relax as you groove through the final weeks of 2021. Stoner Pisces, you might feel strange at first.  It can be awkward floating peacefully along the gentle cosmic currents, instead of rushing through rough rapids towards your final destination. Of course it’s good to keep your final destination in mind, but don’t forget to appreciate all of the little things along the way!  As you swim through the slow and steady streams this season with the sacred herb, be sure to puff and puff, but don’t let all the budding beauty pass you by. Unfortunately, not all areas of life will be smooth sailing. When it comes to matters of the home, you will need to keep the peace pipe packed and close at hand. You, and many in the canna-fam are likely to need the calming cannabis influence early and often throughout the month. Don’t worry stoner Pisces, I’m not talking about relationship ending arguments or blazing battles, but the temperature and tensions in the home environment is likely to get a little high. Be forewarned:  Clouded minds can cause miscommunications and confusion between even the closest of cannabis companions. A few stress leaving tokes from the peace pipe can help loosen underlying tensions, and alleviate prevailing agitations. Use the sacred herb as a catalyst for conversation; a way to calm the spirits and mellow the mind. Let the healing vapors expand your minds and elevate your perspectives. You shouldn’t expect the sacred herb to be the remedy for ALL interpersonal ailments.  In addition to tokin’, it will take plenty of talkin’ to resolve everyone’s grievances. It may take a couple revolutions around the smoke circle to get everyone vibrating on the same wavelength my sweet stoner Pisces, but trust that when it comes to familial relations it’s always better to burn blunts than it is to burn bridges. Tweet

My dear stoner Pisces, it is not by accident that you are considered the most kind and caring amongst the stoner Zodiac. It is your ability and willingness to take the time to listen unconditionally to your fellow tokin terrestrial astronauts.  And really get to know them, which earns you the title of ‘the sensitive one’. Some might see this as a negative designation, but you are proof that being in touch, and in tune with your emotions can be a strength.  Not a weakness.  Some call you sensitive like it’s a bad thing. But, it is precisely because of your emotional literacy that you are better positioned to regroup, and rise above when calm cosmic currents turn into choppy swells. Don’t let yourself be worn down by the repetition of the daily grind stoner Pisces. Stick to a healthy regiment of reflection and meditation with the expansive vapors of the sacred herb. Halloween Glass Giveaway Toke time to light up and look inside stoner Pisces. Then, look ahead. With a newfound focus and the clarity of a ten-thousand foot vantage point, you will be able to see past perceived obstacles to the destination that lies ahead.  And with the assistance of your cannabis copilot, the path you will need to take to get there will illuminate within the burning bowl of manifestation. Stoner Pisces, even though you may feel prepared for the increase of intense emotions this month, you should still keep your sacred medicinal stash jar well stocked. Because of the persistent flux that October promises to bring, you should seek out hybrid strains. These balanced buds will help you stick to the middle of the path.  Your hybrid  canna-guide will help you avoid being pulled back and forth between soaring highs and crashing lows. While self-reflection is crucial for growth, you should be mindful to not be overly critical of yourself during this season. Failure isn’t a flaw stoner Pisces; it is these hard-learned lessons that help you reach future milestones. It’s good to have goals, but don’t beat yourself up if you don’t get it right the first time. In other words, don’t take yourself too seriously. Setbacks are sure to happen, and sometimes roadblocks will cause you to take a detour. But, don’t fret my slippery Fish!   Sometimes your cosmic chronicles will lead you over open roads, and other times you will take a few wrong turns. Just stay calm, load the bong, and enjoy the journey.  And when detours do occur, breathe easy and remind yourself this:  Sometimes being forced to take the scenic route isn’t such a bad thing. Tweet

For some stoner Pisces, September will mark the beginning of a new chapter in their smokey story; a time where the weather is cooling down, but the good vibes are heating up. For others, it could be a continuation of the same hazy, hard-to-handle happenings they have been dealing with in past months. But, it’s not up to the cosmos which path will be yours stoner Pisces.  It is your own recent actions, or inactions, that will decide what lies ahead. Last month, did you light up and lean in stoner Pisces?  Finishing up those outstanding projects and the lingering tasks on your to-do list?  Did you toke time away to meditate, to break away from the cosmic chaos, and find your own calm within? Or, did you run away from your responsibilities?  Escape to your favorite smoke-filled oasis, hiding away from the wear and tear of the daily grind for a little longer than you had intended? For those stoner Pisces who acknowledged the unsettled tides they were swimming in during the waning days of Summer; and made the necessary adjustments. September will be marked by smoke-filled days, and clear waters. The start of Fall will be nothing short of a happy, hazy time filled with good vibes, floating easily along the river of life. Unfortunately my dear dank-loving Fish, if you didn’t invest in doing the groundwork in August, you can expect to spend more time picking through the weeds of life, than enjoying the bountiful harvest of a well-tended garden. Just remember stoner Pisces:  The most difficult work is made lighter with more hands.  Even the biggest bowl is easier to burn through when more people are puffing. You don’t have to face the mysteries that lie ahead alone. Don’t be afraid to seek out the counsel, and company, of your partners-in-chronic when you need support. Sometimes you will benefit by rounding up the stoner squad to roast a bowl, and reflect on where you’ve been.  And more importantly, where you want to go. Other times, all you need is your closest cannabis companion, a fresh stash of the sacred herb, and a weekend voyage to help free your mind, and refresh your cosmic spacesuit. By the month’s end you should be able to breathe a little easier stoner Pisces.  Whether you’re on cloud nine, or you are lower than you’ve felt in a long while, remember that you don’t have to go at it alone. Tweet

Stoner Pisces, although it’s peak Summer, not every day will be filled with fun in the sun. You may feel tempted at times to call out from work, and hit the open road in search of secluded smoke spots to toke a break from the daily grind. Unfortunately, you still have business to handle my slippery Fish.  Rent is still due, bills need to be paid, and when it comes to cannabis, you still have to buy it before you can burn it. A persistent prescription of meditation and medical-grade green will be a critical part to the stoner Pisces’ routine throughout August. It might sound like a contradiction at first:  How can you be expected to sit still when there is so much to do? Remember that meditation is more than just sitting quietly by yourself in a hazy room. These moments spent with sacred sinsemilla are a time to reflect on what’s working, and what you want to change. Stoner Pisces, the prospect of working the Summer away might sound daunting, and disheartening at first, but with diligence, and a little elevated thinking, you will be able to transform the dull into the doable; to remake the mundane into the manageable. Although you can’t always change what tasks get put on your to-do list, you CAN control how you approach getting them done. Sometimes cannabis is used as an escape stoner Pisces.  A launchpad to lift off, and leave behind reality for astral heights. But, it can also be a grounding influence.  A catalyst for rediscovering your center, and reigniting your inner light. Inhale the calming vapors of the sacred herb, and dive deep beneath your own chaotic currents stoner Pisces. Allow yourself time for the cosmic waves to calm. When you resurface, your spirit will be reenergized, your determination renewed, and you will be ready to finish the month on a high note. Stoner Pisces, the goal during this Summer season is not just to survive, but to thrive! Allow your creative waves to flow through you, and channel them into whatever you endeavor, however meaningful or mundane the task may be. Trust in your sacred cannabis copilot to inspire you, and guide you through your interests. Instead of running away from your to-do list stoner Pisces, face it head on. Remember my stoney fish:  Once you have finished the tasks you MUST get done, you will be free to pursue all the passion projects you WANT to get done. Tweet

Stoner Pisces, great buds do not happen by accident. It takes the right climate, inputs, and conditions to grow those dense, frosty nugs. Even the biggest plant in the garden started as a tiny seed that relied on the nutrients of the lowly soil. Some of your partners-in-chronic might see themselves as the dankest ones in the group, but remember stoner Pisces, it is your nurturing energy that creates the foundation necessary for them to flourish. While you may not always be the one who initiates the smoke sessions, you are the eternally empathetic friendly Fish.  The one who makes sure none of your cannabis companions get overlooked, or left out of the smoke circle. Stoner Pisces with your optimistic outlook, eager energy, and innovative insights, it’s no wonder your coworkers are eager to team up with you for the tough projects. You try to see the best in everyone, but this month you may need to take off any rose-colored glasses that may obscure your third eye vision. Look more skeptically at the motives of some of your peers.  Are your teammates there to make a difference and a positive impact, or to take credit for contributions they didn’t actually make?  Ah but also remember stoner Pisces, not everyone is out to slack off, and soak up the success from your hard work. Early in the month, toke time to meditate with the sacred herb.  Breathe deep in its perspective-expanding vapors, and allow it to awaken your third-eye sight. From this elevated vantage point, you will be able to better see who is trying to slide through by doing the bare minimum, and those who want to do more, and simply need your help to realize their higher potential. My sweet stoner Fish, you would gladly share your last nug if it meant brightening someone else’s day. It’s not usually in your nature to worry about what you get in return for your kindness and kind buds.  But during the month you will be forced to face the question:  Would that terrestrial copilot perform the same duty? As hard as it might be to imagine, there are times when it’s okay to puff puff and to keep on puffing.  You don’t always have to pass it on.  While it is a nice gesture, sharing is not the only way to show you care, stoner Pisces.  Sometimes what you really need is to save some of that good ganja, and positive vibrations, for yourself.  Tweet