Advertise on podcast: Clouds, Rain, Aya

[Listen at your own risk...] Hmm...The clouds are crying today. In this episode, things get a little personal between Aya and her anxiety. Throughout her personal hardships and for the last 3 months, she recorded raw audios of her and her emotions. Trigger warning for those who are not comfortable with someone crying or someone ranting about his/her problems that may inflict bad memories. As this episode progresses, you can tell how Aya went from shambles to enlightenment to shambles again, and vice versa. Let's be very honest here, growth is never linear, sometimes it's ups, sometimes it's downs, and even worse..... if it's both up and down. Aya named this episode a "venting-machine" because she felt like all these rants, challenges, and mental breakdowns were all cooped up like Pepsi-cans inside her mind, and each time she vents out and lets off some steam, she also dispenses a part of her psyche. Hemlo, it's me, Aya. A gentle reminder that this podcast is my safe space, it took me a lot of strength and bravery to upload an episode like this. However, I wouldn't want to keep it to myself alone, because maybe.... someday someone would need my words.

Hmm...The clouds are crying today. In this episode, Aya speaks up about one of the topics that are often overlooked and ignored. Hard pills to swallow is a phrase referring to an unpleasant fact, disappointment, or humiliation that is difficult to endure or accept. It is something that you deeply believe you lack the strength to take in and acknowledge that it is, indeed, true. Watch how Aya unfolds different 'hard-pills-to-swallow' stories of her Facebook friends who helped her make this podcast here today.  [How ironic, it's summer but it's also the start of the rainy season.. which means I'll be uploading as much as I can while the rain pours! The downside of this season is that... we are currently experiencing climate change ;(( I know I shouldn't be happy with the thunderstorms because there are people who are suffering from it.. but I can't help it,, I feel calm whenever it rains T_ T ]

Hmm...The clouds are crying today. In this episode, Aya, at last, manages to squeeze into her schedule this long overdue episode for the month of April. She's been having very little time for herself lately that the only time for her rest is either for sleep or for distracting her anxiety by watching K-dramas. Regardless, this episode talks about a specific trait of Aya—which is her, detaching from people once she enters her self-destructive mode AKA when her life hits rock bottom. Plus, she realized a seasonal anxiety that occurs whenever a situation is badly affecting her daily life e.g. every time she wake up—enough spoiling. Watch Aya spill more quick April rants and teas that happened in a span of a month.  P.s. I realized my title is "M.A.D."    :D

Hmm...The clouds are crying today. In this episode, Aya summons her second guest! Kuya Miles, a sophomore psychology student/friend who Aya met on a few mutual organizations the same as hers. Both of these 'studyholic' psychology majors settled on one topic that is very relatable to almost all students—Burnout. It is a form of exhaustion caused by constantly feeling swamped and/or drained. It's a result of excessive and prolonged emotional, physical, and mental stress. In spite of this term being always seen at a negative light, burnout isn't always bad and kuya Miles is here to tell us otherwise and of how it can be a possibly good thing to experience even with its awful effects to our mental health. Once in our life, we experience burnout; we tell ourselves we are so tired and we can't even move a single muscle to pass our homework because we are emotionally drained and overwhelmed with requirements, with that said, sit back and let's all talk about burnout with our valuable guest for today. 

[Warning: Sensitive Content] Hmm...The clouds are crying today, and so is Aya. In this episode, she faces an abrupt trauma. Abrupt meaning very sudden or unexpected; and Trauma meaning an emotional response to a distressing event where you experience an extreme series of fear, shock, and panic. This incident not only worsened Aya's anxiety but her mood shifted from one to another in a rapid state and opened a deep wound from her childhood. The episode talks ONLY about her experiences and not about what to do when trauma happens, because even she, does not know what to do after experiencing it yet again. Her segments were divided into two: 2 hours after trauma and 9 days after trauma. Watch how Aya deals with her post-traumatic stress and midnight panic attacks just as she tried to conquer her own silent battle in the midst of her finals week. 

Hmm...The clouds are crying today. In this episode, Aya explores the cavern of academic validation. As students, it is our worst nightmare to fail subjects but how about the overachievers? They are those who feel like a single mistake on a quiz will crumble them to death—which brings us to our topic for today which is the good and bad side of academic validation. While it may become a motivator for many, it can also be the worst enemy you will ever have once you are so comfortable with it, making it so that instead of you, studying hard for the purpose of learning, you are studying not to fail. Add the factor of the online setup we have today, where it feels like a sin to absent one class because you're extremely sick just for the fear of failing. "There is no harm in self-improvement, but there is harm in overworking yourself; you must learn to take time for your own well-being. Academic validation is a poisonous, unforgiving mindset that extends to the limit of your ability." (Kloza, K. et al., 2021). Watch how Aya punches herself with her own talk whereas she makes academic validation soOOO important for her as an achiever and yet she lowkey knows that she will gradually suffer from it. PS. Are there even people who reads this description corner? hahaha XD. 

Hmm...The clouds are crying today. In this episode, Aya finally finds the time to record an episode in a brief moment inside her home—which has long been a part of why she's podcasting at her bathroom all alone. Let's be honest, a home doesn't necessarily means cozy environment immediately. Sometimes, it's one of the main causes why you grew up in a certain box/space or how you grew up perceiving life. It's even harder when you know you can't do anything about it especially you've been living at this 'home' for the past 18 years. Watch how Aya relates the idea of her own environment to her academes, her plans as an adult, and most importantly, her, suffocating from a place called home...

[Listen at your own risk...] Hmm...The clouds are crying today. In this episode, Aya shares a glimpse of what it looks like when an extreme overthinker experiences anxiety attack every once in a while. This episode consists of three compilations of her anxiety attacks, on three different months, named after three kinds of thoughts—intrusive, latent, and un(necessary) thoughts. Anxiety attacks, also known as panic attacks are episodes of intense panic, fear, or anxiety. They usually occur unexpectedly for no apparent reason, but they can also be linked to specific triggers. During an anxiety attack, people may experience overwhelming panic, fear, loss of control, chest pain, trouble breathing and other signs of worry. Anxiety can occur during everyday life, it could be fleeting or it could persist and build. Watch how Aya shows a surface level of anxiety attacks and how it affects her on a day-to-day basis. 

Hmm...The clouds are crying today. In this episode, Aya summons her very first guest (finally! wooo). Teri, a crackhead friend that often shares the same wavelength as her, also known as Jannah the deluh suhl bish that Aya met on discord—early 2021. Now without any hesitation, she initiates a common ground topic for both of them which is: freeloading. This term is widely used for people who takes advantage of other people's generosity without giving anything in return. Hence, in an academical context they are called the 'dumbells'. All they do is move their responsibilities to another person's life and so in return, the victims of the freeloaders are burdened...enough spoiling, let's just learn from our guest, shall we? 

Hmm...The clouds are crying today. In this episode, Aya ends 2021 with a phrase: Bye, Felicia. It is a slang way of dismissing someone. Sometimes it is to express disregard or indifference to someone, as if to say, “That’s it. I’m done putting up with you. I’m so over this. Goodbye.” 2021 was not the best year, it wasn't thoroughly the ideal year to promote her growth as an individual. In fact, neither of the past two years made her feel like there was enough room for change along with the pandemic that took a toll on everyone's mental health. However, this doesn't mean that she will be stagnant during these pandemic years, the hunger for self love and mental stability is what keeps her motivated and will still be 'til 2022 comes. Let's just hope that next year, she will be more open and kind to herself. Watch how Aya, at last, leaves the past behind—not totally forgetting about it, but to acknowledge it now and to not let her past decisions affect her upcoming ones, especially this next year.  Happy New Year! 

Hmm...The clouds are crying today. In this episode, Aya approaches her past stories to gradually close it behind and leave it on her past. Often times closures aren't acknowledged and some, aren't necessary at all. But why do we, humans feel the need to close something when we know it's bound to be left unresolved not unless you sew it up on your own? Why is it that we think of closures as the answer to alleviate our pain and confusion from the past? Watch how Aya discusses the remnants of the old days that weren't closed enough because she wasn't sure; and as to why she feels it's something that ties her from moving forward. 

Hmm...The clouds are crying today. In this episode, Aya went on a mini-hiatus (that didn't really affect anyone—not even her own podcast.) HOWEVER, that doesn't mean she continued to aim for hard work all throughout her rest days. In fact, she came to a halt after realizing a couple of overwhelming things on her surrounding that may or may not have influenced her way of thinking.  The use of a semicolon ";" symbolizes a choice to keep going rather than end—consequently, continue and/or start anew without forgetting the past behind. Watch how Aya slowly unlearns one miniscule part of her mindset that she knows sooner or later she has to get rid of, but can't completely do it. It's a matter of choosing between letting other people decide when she needs to pause, or to let herself guide her own time.