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In this episode of Unashamed, Unafraid, the hosts discuss the “parts of ourselves” we want to kill—especially in sexual addiction recovery—and argue that shame-driven repression and white-knuckling only make things worse. Austin shares how growing up in a conservative culture led him to hide, berate, and try to “kill” his addiction, until he learned to face it with compassion: acknowledging the wounded, trauma-shaped part of himself without feeding compulsive behavior. The group explores identity, pushing back on making “addict” a permanent label, emphasizing being a son of God while distinguishing healthy desires from dark distortions. Using images like “hugging the cactus,” NF’s song “Running,” shadow work, and even Harry Potter, they describe confronting triggers, understanding what behaviors protect us from, and replacing shame and isolation with love, support, therapy, and faith. Make a donation and become an Outsider!Follow us on social media! Instagram, Facebook & TikTokSubscribe to our YouTubeCheck out our recommended resourcesWant to rep the message? Shop our MERCH!  For more inspiration, read our blogDo you have a story you are willing to share? Send us an email! [email protected]: 00:43 Killing Parts of Yourself?01:20 Austin On Shame02:45 Hugging The Cactus03:57 Labels And Identity05:44 NF Running Trauma09:23 White Knuckling Fails09:57 Harry Potter Love12:00 Triggers And Warfare15:33 Shadow Work Advice18:08 Closing And Wrap

In this episode of Unashamed Unafraid, Sam and Josh Bring back Michael from the Heare Bros (returning from a prior episode), who recaps his a spiritual/somatic session where he cast out the “accuser,” broke through a core belief of worthlessness, and felt transformative light and truth, then explains healing as increasing awareness, grieving wounds, and choosing connection over relapse. He discusses the process of healing and explains holotropic breathwork as a tool for accessing deeper consciousness, releasing pain, and connecting breath with spirit and God’s name, and offers resources for his Utah sessions and Hear Bros retreats. Connect with Mike:https://thelightinus.orghttps://hearebros.com/ Make a donation and become an Outsider!Follow us on social media! Instagram, Facebook & TikTokSubscribe to our YouTubeCheck out our recommended resourcesWant to rep the message? Shop our MERCH!  For more inspiration, read our blogDo you have a story you are willing to share? Send us an email! [email protected]:01:58 Why Jesus Had to Die06:37 Meet Michael Again12:41 Repentance Redefined15:36 Guided Healing Session23:10 Infinite Worth Moment26:31 Light Truth Framework31:47 Turning Up the Light36:59 Healing Wounds Over Time39:44 Wounds Keep Surfacing40:16 Worth at the Core40:48 Turning On the Lights41:46 Grief Beneath Anger43:14 Replacing Lies With Truth44:18 Affirmations and Context45:27 Moses and Being Nothing48:42 Eastern View of Nothing50:34 Breathwork as a Tool51:30 Holotropic Breathwork Basics52:47 Theta State and Subconscious57:04 Technique and What to Expect01:01:03 Breath as Spirit and Prayer01:03:50 Name of God as Breath01:07:17 Resources and Retreats

In this episode of Unashamed Unafraid, the hosts discuss healthy, non-compulsive sexuality in recovery and emphasize that sex isn’t the problem—shame is. They share experiences of growing up with little guidance, early sexual curiosity and experimentation, exposure to pornography in the internet age, and how silence and shame intensified addiction. The conversation reframes sexuality as sacred and God-given, meant for connection and creation, while warning that misuse can damage relationships with God and others. They stress normalizing frank, respectful conversations, creating safety and boundaries in marriage, and seeking help through therapy and resources like Jennifer Finlayson-Fife. They explore six types of intimacy, explain how unmet emotional needs become sexualized, and challenge listeners to ask what sex means to them and if married, what their spouse hears when they request sex. Make a donation and become an Outsider!Follow us on social media! Instagram, Facebook & TikTokSubscribe to our YouTubeCheck out our recommended resourcesWant to rep the message? Shop our MERCH!  For more inspiration, read our blogDo you have a story you are willing to share? Send us an email! [email protected]: 00:43 Is Sex The Problem?01:04 Early Shame And Silence03:46 Internet Porn And Shame06:10 Talking With Kids08:14 Sex Sacred Not Secret11:23 Healthy Sex And Humor13:32 How To Start The Conversation15:22 Resources And Cultural Shame17:25 Utah OnlyFans Joke17:49 Therapy Reframes Sex18:56 Five Month Reset20:29 Asking Without Shame22:58 Six Types of Intimacy26:06 Needs Behind Desire31:11 Safety and Boundaries34:27 Receiving Pleasure35:23 Sex Reveals Healing36:52 Challenges and Wrap Up

In this episode of Unashamed Unafraid, the hosts welcome Reuben Aiton, founder of Arise & Heal Recovery, who shares his background in addiction recovery coaching and his focus on helping teens and LDS clients move from external “kindling” motivations to internal, heart-based reasons for change. Reuben discusses his own story, including a pituitary tumor that delayed puberty, later struggles with pornography, and learning that sobriety can exist without true healing. He explains addiction as a disconnection issue where pornography is a “medication,” emphasizing connection with God, self, and others to raise awareness rather than fighting thoughts with more thoughts. Reuben describes a panic and claustrophobia crisis on a plane that led to new insights about stillness, surrender, and processing emotions without fixing them, and he outlines practical “primal” movement drills and daily habits to reboot the frontal lobe and reduce shame-driven relapse cycles. Take advantage of Reuben's resources here at https://ariseheal.org/ Make a donation and become an Outsider!Follow us on social media! Instagram, Facebook & TikTokSubscribe to our YouTubeCheck out our recommended resourcesWant to rep the message? Shop our MERCH!  For more inspiration, read our blogDo you have a story you are willing to share? Send us an email! [email protected]:56 Meet Reuben Aiton04:05 Why Teens Are Hard06:06 Kindling Versus Log08:24 Porn Is Not Problem10:43 Reuben's Recovery Story16:49 Panic Attack Flight20:46 Alligator Thought Spin22:53 Turning On The Light25:21 Shame And God27:44 The Atonement Is For You29:04 Breaking Shame Goggles30:20 Identity And Limiting Beliefs32:34 Integrating Parts And Resistance34:51 Process Emotions To Heal Beliefs36:22 Urges As Pain Signals43:46 Surrender Not Willpower49:35 Resources And Contact Info50:33 Eye Of The Tiger Wrap

In this episode of Unashamed Unafraid, Sam, Chris, Joshua, and Austin discuss sexual addiction recovery and why healing requires honesty, transparency, and coming unto Christ rather than hiding behind a so-called “noble lie” that hiding the truth somehow protects others. They praise Austin’s courage for disclosing a relapse after seven months and explore how lying creates unmanageable pain, escalates into a destructive web, and erodes trust in marriage by forcing a spouse to live in an untrue reality.  They emphasize that sobriety without transparency becomes “white knuckling,” recommend reaching out to brotherhood first after relapse to manage shame and take accountability without excuses, and note rare cases where disclosure may require professional guidance. They challenge listeners to identify where they don’t feel safe and take responsibility for creating safety rather than continuing to lie. Make a donation and become an Outsider!Follow us on social media! Instagram, Facebook & TikTokSubscribe to our YouTubeCheck out our recommended resourcesWant to rep the message? Shop our MERCH!  For more inspiration, read our blogDo you have a story you are willing to share? Send us an email! [email protected]:00:43 Podcast Welcome and Banter01:21 Relapse Courage and Noble Lie02:08 VeggieTales and Pinocchio Lies04:39 Why Lying Feels Safe But Isn't05:50 Transparency Builds Recovery06:32 Spouse Reality and Betrayal10:31 Accountability and Brotherhood12:34 Disclosure Safety and Coaching14:22 Shame Versus Shaming Quote16:35 Create Safety and Challenge18:21 Call to Action and Wrap Up

In this story episode of Unashamed, Unafraid, guest Paul Claverie opens up about navigating profound life crises, career shifts, personal accountability, and emotional healing. From managing his daughter’s cancer diagnosis to dealing with an unaddressed congenital deformity and performance-driven shame, Paul shares how pornography became an isolated coping mechanism—and how taking ownership of his health, finances, and personal agency ultimately helped him rebuild his life on solid ground. Make a donation and become an Outsider!Follow us on social media! Instagram, Facebook & TikTokSubscribe to our YouTubeCheck out our recommended resourcesWant to rep the message? Shop our MERCH!  For more inspiration, read our blogDo you have a story you are willing to share? Send us an email! [email protected]: 00:00 – Podcast intro and mission02:10 – Early career and background06:15 – Overwhelming work and school08:30 – Daughter's cancer diagnosis10:45 – Losing heavy equipment job16:20 – Pressure in aviation career23:34 – Marital intimacy struggles25:10 – Corrective surgery for deformity28:30 – Overcoming pornography dependency31:15 – Physical fitness in recovery36:42 – Miscommunication regarding spiritual advice38:50 – Accidental discovery of email44:20 – Financial overhaul and independence48:30 – Deciding to pursue divorce52:08 – Song: Love Me At My Lowest by Nash Blackwood

In this episode of Unashamed, the hosts welcome back Austin and discuss sexual addiction recovery while working away from home. Austin shares that directing a demanding summer camp for 12–15-year-olds led to multiple relapses because he had no personal space, minimal sleep, and struggled to maintain safety and connection with God, while he stayed sober once home. The conversation explores why travel and high-pressure work often trigger acting out, the need to build a recovery lifestyle through structural changes, boundaries, and meeting basic needs like rest, food, and water. They reframe relapse as information rather than shame, discuss disciplined ways to “check out” safely, and emphasize listening to the body’s warning signals. Josh adds how losing 80 pounds and fitness improved his mental health and recovery. The episode ends with questions for listeners and a personal example of acting out due to lacking a plan at a family reunion. Make a donation and become an Outsider!Follow us on social media! Instagram, Facebook & TikTokSubscribe to our YouTubeCheck out our recommended resourcesWant to rep the message? Shop our MERCH!  For more inspiration, read our blogDo you have a story you are willing to share? Send us an email! [email protected]:00:43 Austin Returns to Unashamed01:04 Inside the Summer Camp Mission03:05 Recovery Update After Summer05:56 Why Travel Triggers Acting Out08:30 Building Boundaries and Alone Time13:06 Relapse as Data Not Shame14:34 Numbing Out and Healthy Rest17:13 Listening to Your Body Needs19:57 Fitness, Dopamine, and Discipline22:45 Listener Questions and Takeaways23:22 Closing Story and Wrap Up

In this episode of Unashamed Unafraid, Sam interviews Curtis Morley, who shifted from tech CEO and entrepreneur to “Emotionologist” after personal upheaval and a difficult divorce. Curtis explains his framework of “counterfeit emotions,” including shame as the counterfeit of guilt, misery as the counterfeit of pain, and sobriety as the counterfeit of recovery, emphasizing that recovery measures “how deep” rather than “how long.” He discusses dopamine dependence, why the problem is the need for pornography rather than pornography itself, and a bus metaphor for witnessing emotions and choosing authentic counterparts. Curtis outlines additional dyads (love/lust, kind/nice, excellence/perfectionism, joy/pleasure) and offers hope through his Be Whole method, plus shares the origin of his song “Whole Again,” inspired by his daughter’s healing after a rare blood disease. - - - Sign up or book a call with Curtis! www.counterfeitemotions.com/recovery- - -  In the sobriety world you often hear the saying it’s only a matter of time until… you have another relapse. In the recovery world it’s only a matter of time until… you overcome this for good.  Sobriety from pornography is only the first step, but most programs end there. It turns out that sobriety is actually the counterfeit of recovery. A false sense of security with blockers and filters but without curing the underlying issues. People have believed for decades that willpower and white knuckling is enough. That’s where the trap is. Sobriety is a life of fear and misery whereas recovery is full of joy and refined. There is so much hope for full recovery. Is possible. People are overcoming the struggle for good.  Freedom from the grind feels amazing to wake up every day with peace and hope.  Make a donation and become an Outsider!Follow us on social media! Instagram, Facebook & TikTokSubscribe to our YouTubeCheck out our recommended resourcesWant to rep the message? Shop our MERCH!  For more inspiration, read our blogDo you have a story you are willing to share? Send us an email! [email protected]: 00:43 Sam's Recovery Check-In 02:00 Meet Curtis Morley - Emotionologist 02:59 Entrepreneur Dream Life 04:45 Divorce And Counterfeits 08:14 Pain Joy Breakthrough 10:47 Sobriety Versus Recovery 17:04 Digging Up The Demons 22:25 Lapse As A Gift 25:54 Identity Trap And Hope 28:39 Four Drivers Of Urges 30:58 What Recovery Really Means 32:38 Dopamine Cycle Explained 35:38 Rewriting Triggers for Peace 38:29 Emotional Bus Metaphor 39:28 Guilt vs Shame Research 43:20 Counterfeit Emotion Dyads 46:41 Authenticity and Peace 47:56 Hope and Be Whole Method 52:44 Whole Again Song Story

In this episode of Unashamed, Unafraid, Sam, Chris and Joshua discuss how isolation fuels relapse and undermines recovery from sexual addiction. Sam shares relapsing while his wife was away, connecting it to unprocessed emotions, blaming his spouse, and failing to plan for connection; the group emphasizes ownership, accountability, and reaching out in temptation as a key recovery skill. Joshua describes months of isolation amid financial strain, work instability, and possible re-injury that removed fitness as a coping tool, plus feeling distant from God; a child’s spontaneous hug prompts him to recognize repeated “love notes” through people reaching out. They reject isolation as ineffective, commit to renewed community and group support, and invite listeners to email their plans to get connected. Make a donation and become an Outsider!Follow us on social media! Instagram, Facebook & TikTokSubscribe to our YouTubeCheck out our recommended resourcesWant to rep the message? Shop our MERCH!  For more inspiration, read our blogDo you have a story you are willing to share? Send us an email! [email protected]: 01:31 Relapse and Heavy Heart02:25 Isolation Triggers04:48 Ownership Over Blame06:52 Make the Call09:08 Sobriety vs Recovery10:44 Refusing to Isolate13:29 Stressors Behind Isolation17:40 God Reaching Out21:20 Affirmations and Identity23:33 System for Temptation27:04 Commitments and Next Steps29:33 Audience Challenge and Wrap

In this episode of Unashamed, Unafraid, Sam and Austin welcome clinical hypnotherapist and master hypnotist Erin from familiesgettinghelp.com. Together, they explore how hypnotherapy functions as a powerful, non-traditional tool in sexual addiction recovery. Erin dispels common pop-culture myths surrounding hypnosis, breaks down the neurochemistry of shame, and demonstrates how tapping into theta brain waves allows clients to rewrite subconscious beliefs formed in childhood. The conversation dives deep into both bottom-up approaches—like shifting core identity and future pacing—and top-down somatic tools you can use in real-time to manage temptation. Whether you are struggling with unwanted behaviors or supporting someone who is, this episode offers actionable insights on integration, emotional regulation, and step-by-step healing. --- Families Getting Help helps people break free from the subconscious patterns that drive pornography use, rebuild trust and stronger relationships, and change the inner dialogue that keeps them stuck in unwanted patterns. Learn More: FamiliesGettingHelp.com Book Your Introduction Call Now: https://familiesgettinghelp.com/#ghl-calendar. Discount code: UNASHAMED Free Automatic Impulse Control Video: Want the free workshop where you learn how to automatically turn down a temptation? Go here - https://help.familiesgettinghelp.com/turndowntemptationsnow  ---- Make a donation and become an Outsider!Follow us on social media! Instagram, Facebook & TikTokSubscribe to our YouTubeCheck out our recommended resourcesWant to rep the message? Shop our MERCH!  For more inspiration, read our blogDo you have a story you are willing to share? Send us an email! [email protected] Timestamps03:40 - Introducing Guest Erin & Demystifying Hypnotherapy Basics08:33 - The Role of Shame, Dopamine Loops, & Neurochemistry in Addiction12:00 - Brain Waves, Subconscious Memories, & Rewiring Neural Pathways17:15 - Comparing Hypnotherapy to EMDR & Sam/Austin's Personal Experiences24:20 - Bottom-Up Identity Shift vs. Top-Down Somatic Recovery Tools27:50 - Automatic Impulse Control Demonstration: Using Somatic Tools for Urges32:55 - Connecting with Erin (FamiliesGettingHelp.com) & St. George/Zoom Services36:30 - Personal Readiness, Emotional Maturity, & Taking Recovery Ownership41:15 - Advice for Families, Final Takeaways on Identity, & Episode Sign-Off

In this episode of Unashamed Unafraid, Chris, Sam, Mason, and Austin discuss why building a real male brotherhood is essential—not optional—for recovering from sexual addiction. They explore the common hurdles men face in seeking support, such as fatherlessness, isolation, and the tendency to minimize their struggles rather than open up. The hosts emphasize that true brotherhood requires both deep vulnerability during moments of temptation and lighthearted fun to build genuine connection. Ultimately, they encourage listeners to stop isolating, step out in courage, and clearly communicate what they need from supportive peers to achieve lasting healing. Make a donation and become an Outsider!Follow us on social media! Instagram, Facebook & TikTokSubscribe to our YouTubeCheck out our recommended resourcesWant to rep the message? Shop our MERCH!  For more inspiration, read our blogDo you have a story you are willing to share? Send us an email! [email protected] Timestamps: 0:43 – Welcome to Unashamed, Unafraid & Four Brothers in the House2:18 – "Brotherhood is Not Optional" & Trying to Recover Alone4:05 – Mason & Sam’s Story: Realizing Dudes Don't Talk About Porn Addiction6:27 – Why Men Avoid Brotherhood: Fatherlessness & Unhealthy Patterns8:52 – The Wild Hearts Group & The Power of "Will You Pray For Me?"11:41 – Reaching Out Before a Relapse vs. Calling After the Fact14:08 – The Young Single Adult Trap: Isolation & Minimizing the Problem16:34 – Attending a Group vs. Actually Being Known19:12 – What Blocks Men From Making the Call During Temptation?21:55 – Balancing Dynamic Brotherhood: Serious Healing + Stupid Jokes24:23 – Teaching Other Dudes What You Need (Listening vs. Fixing)27:14 – Reaching Out & Community Meetup Announcements

This episode of Unashamed Unafraid introduces guests Mike (“Sacramento Mike”) and his son Weston, with Mike visiting Utah from Hawaii for his daughter’s wedding. Mike describes growing up in an LDS family near Sacramento, first encountering pornography at 11, becoming compulsively drawn to it, and being forcibly sexually assaulted by older boys around age 13–14, which deepened his shame and porn use; he later learned those boys were arrested for raping family members. At 18, after drug use, he prayed on a beach, quit drugs, served a mission in Ecuador, married, and raised a family while hiding a long-term pornography problem that escalated alongside law-enforcement work in Oakland and PTSD. After multiple deaths in his care and suicidal crises, he sought help, was retired from duty, and recounts a 2018 moment when his wife, prompted by God, prevented a planned suicide, helping him recognize God’s love. Mike has now been sober from pornography and sexual acting out for 8 years.  Make a donation and become an Outsider!Follow us on social media! Instagram, Facebook & TikTokSubscribe to our YouTubeCheck out our recommended resourcesWant to rep the message? Shop our MERCH!  For more inspiration, read our blogDo you have a story you are willing to share? Send us an email! [email protected]:01:28 Wedding Weekend Banter03:02 First Exposure To Porn05:25 Sexual Assault And Confusion07:14 Shame And Silence08:43 Beach Prayer Wake Up11:32 Mission And Marriage13:51 Law Enforcement And Trauma15:22 Confessing and Hiding Secrets16:30 PTSD and Relapse Cycle18:14 Family Distance and Regrets21:07 Deaths on the Job23:24 Retired and Identity Crisis25:22 Therapy and Escalation26:10 2018 Suicide Crisis27:31 Gods Love and Closing28:25 The Dream32:59 Weston's thoughts on dad's recovery39:11 Life After Disclosure41:34 Warrior Heart Boot Camp49:15 Helping Other Men54:19 Gratitude by Brandon Lake

In this episode, James, Sam, Joshua, and Mason sit down for a follow-up on the commitments they made in past episodes (EP 151: Filling the Void of Addiction and EP 193: How Can I Trust God?). They dive open-honestly into what accountability actually looks like in practice—from putting software on phones to actively battling for true brotherhood and moving away from transactional faith to find God directly in the present moment and pain. Make a donation and become an Outsider!Follow us on social media! Instagram, Facebook & TikTokSubscribe to our YouTubeCheck out our recommended resourcesWant to rep the message? Shop our MERCH!  For more inspiration, read our blogDo you have a story you are willing to share? Send us an email! [email protected] Timestamps:01:29 – James’s update (Revisiting EP 151): Putting Ever Accountable on his phone and achieving over a year of sobriety03:20 – Healthy accountability vs. using tools to bypass inner healing05:10 – Proud of the journey: Overcoming the nonchalance and habit of slip-ups after 13 years06:50 – Sam’s update (EP 151): Overcoming father wounds and learning how to cultivate authentic brotherhood09:15 – Battling for your brothers: Second chances, slumber parties, and overcoming codependency11:20 – Joshua’s update (EP 151): Moving past checking religious boxes and learning to trust God with hard conversations14:30 – Facing the fear of outcomes: Asking God for direction instead of avoiding conflict15:30 – Mason’s update (Revisiting EP 193): Shifting away from black-and-white thinking and learning to feel pain16:15 – Redefining recovery: Finding a true relationship with God beyond just quitting pornography18:15 – Psalm 23: How God prepares a table for us in the presence of difficulty, not just comfort20:20 – Finding God in the "Now": Moving past prayers focused only on the past or future22:15 – Closing commitments: Bringing Jesus into the center of brotherhood23:10 – How to reach out and wrap-up

Mike recounts early exposure to pornography, shame shaped by church messaging, family dynamics, and later learning his biological father’s sexual addiction, then baptizing him before his mission. He describes a canceled temple wedding due to church discipline, continued struggles after marriage, and his shift toward inner work, self-compassion, and a reframe of repentance as metanoia—a fresh view of self, God, and the world—emphasizing wholeness over perfection and connection as the antidote. He recommends “Lean on Me” as his recovery song. He discusses his pivot from branding and graphic design into men’s work, retreats, and breathwork, including co-founding the HEARE Brotherhood. Connect with Mike and get resources here: - www.thelightinus.org- www.hearebros.com- LinkedIn Make a donation and become an Outsider!Follow us on social media! Instagram, Facebook & TikTokSubscribe to our YouTubeCheck out our recommended resourcesWant to rep the message? Shop our MERCH!  For more inspiration, read our blogDo you have a story you are willing to share? Send us an email! [email protected]:01:11 Making Repair Story03:05 Meet Mike Allen03:20 Career Pivot and Purpose06:32 Family Crest Breakthrough07:41 First Mens Retreat Leap10:05 Breathwork Heart Opening12:22 HearBrotherhood Origin13:46 Early Porn Exposure14:39 Family Context and Masculinity17:28 Shame and Church Messages20:43 Bio Dad Addiction Reveal23:11 Baptizing His Dad23:48 Engagement Secrets25:02 Recommend Taken Away27:40 Wedding Canceled30:28 Marriage Did Not Fix It31:24 Beyond Twelve Steps34:51 Metanoia Not Shame37:30 Opposition And Shadow40:04 Golden Nuggets45:06 Find Mike Online45:47 Lean On Me Finale

Sam, Mason, James, and Austin discuss “firing the old God and hiring the new one.” They define the “old God” as transactional, shaming, distant, perpetually disappointed, and often rooted in childhood, family-of-origin dynamics. The "old God" is a false God that uses reward systems, shame, and sometimes spiritual manipulation. To embrace a new God, you can: 1. Explicitly name false beliefs about God, 2. Identify their impact on relationships, nervous system3. Reality-test beliefs through scripture and Christ’s character4. Examine how the belief once protected parts of the self5. Grieve the loss of the familiar but harmful God-image, and 6. Use rituals (termination letter, speaking aloud, burning notes) to “fire” it. To close, Austin recommends John Eldredge’s One Minute Pause App feature "20 Days to Experience Jesus.” Make a donation and become an Outsider!Follow us on social media! Instagram, Facebook & TikTokSubscribe to our YouTubeCheck out our recommended resourcesWant to rep the message? Shop our MERCH!  For more inspiration, read our blogDo you have a story you are willing to share? Send us an email! [email protected] Timestamps: 01:19 Meet the Old God03:27 Where Shame Begins05:38 Why Fire Him08:29 Dismantle the Belief10:45 Grieve the Old Image12:03 Steps and Rituals14:52 Hire the New God16:47 Relational Exposure Practice17:47 Relapse and Rework20:30 Resources and Reflections22:05 Listener Challenge Outro